Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Monday, March 02, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Na wah oh............











STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
AN UGLY MINDSET


I just need to let this out please. 


My boyfriend and I want to settle down this year, but I am worried. I am not a beautiful lady, my facial looks are not great, I don't have a great body either, small boobs and little ass. I wonder what my boyfriend sees in me. I am worried about seeing his family, I fear they will be critical of my looks and body and be disappointed in him for choosing a not-too-beautiful woman.

 I wonder if I will be enough for me. I don't catch butterflies when I look in the mirror, so I wonder if his heart flutters when he looks at me. I fear one day he will wake up and see me as being really ugly for him. I am reluctant to meet his friends too. 


I just don't know sef.

Does love make an ugly person appear beautiful to her lover? Or does he know I am ugly and just wants me anyway, or does he think I am beautiful. I don't even know.
Is there any guy that is with a woman that he considers as ugly, just because he loves her?
Help me biko. What can I even do to add weight small , who knows if that will make me look better.
I am just worried about the future. Most of his female friends are really beautiful women, so I don't even know.

My friends are getting married, I see them taking nice pre-wedding shots. I wonder if I will look as gorgeous as them when I am getting married. I know I don't have a great taste in fashion and beauty. It is not always that my pictures come out great.. Sometimes when I smile in pictures I don't look good, I see my flaws staring at me. When I see disabled people, I thank God for how he created me, still I wish I was a lot more beautiful, I wish I had more hips and breast, I wish I could put on a little weight, so I stop looking sickly. 


I hope that if my boyfriend and I get married, that I will be enough for him. I am sometimes concerned that I might not be enough. Which man wants a girl with small breasts, what does he get to hold on to? I feel sometimes that he will be justified if he cheats on me since I am not beautiful. 


Who will blame him if he does? Doesn't every man want a wife that can satisfy him s#xually and appeal to him. Don't men want women they can flaunt? Yet, I am not an attractive woman, neither am I a woman, a man can flaunt. My friends tease me asking me what my husband will hold on to if he marries me. Others are shocked when they hear I have a boyfriend. I guess they say to themselves, which man found you attractive enough to date you? 

These emotions are bottled deep within me, I share them with no one, so no one knows about my struggles. 

I wish I was born beautiful.





*WOW,is this your mindset about yourself?I am too shocked to even say anything.....you think you are ugly?God created everyone Unique!

89 comments:

  1. Poster post your picture let's see?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear poster, I am a very beautiful woman with all the right things you desire. Fair in complexion, beautiful, have boobs with my burst area being 42 my waist 34 and my hips 50. I am a bank manager and doesn't disturb my husband financially. I am not a liability but an asset to my home.
      Has it stopped my husband from cheating? NO. In short, the last time he was caught cheating, it was with a size 4 girl with no ass and nipples without boobs.

      Your looks doesn't define how beautiful your marriage will be. Your bf might be looking at the heart and not the face.Na money de fix woman. He knows after child birth you will look better.
      Also build your self confidence so that it doesn't affect you relationship.

      Delete
    2. What will I not read?
      Poster are a woman's breasts handlebars that a man should hold on to?
      Your mindset is totally wack. Please get you a counselor or therapist asap! Now pls, before you fall into the hands of people that will treat you like dirt because you don't know any better.
      Pls start therapy before you enter marriage. See you, so your husband should be justified to cheat because you think you are ugly? Babes nooo! All God's creation is good. He said so Himself.
      Please I beg you be grateful to God for who you are and don't be unfortunate. I commend you for reaching out to this forum. Pls any counsellor here that can help her should help her.

      Delete
    3. I didn't bother finishing, because I think this is ridiculous.
      You are created in His image, what the heck?

      Delete
    4. Public Service Announcement - It is time people who has not created themselves STOP teasing other women about their boob size. This was the same way my friend back in the university once told me I have been punishing my boyfriend and what will he hold on to on my chests.
      Today after she had 3 kids, her perky boobs are completely gone and flattened out.

      Please please people, it is time to stop body shaming.

      Poster, you are wonderfully and beautifully made in God's image, why should you not be confident in your father's image? Only God can give lasting joy in marriage, not beauty. Trust him. He has got you.

      Delete
    5. My husband told me recently that he always thought he'd marry a tall girl who could sing. I'm 5"4, sound like a cockroach when singing (to him) but you can't tell me nothing.

      This guy is hot!!! But I know who I am. I'm intelligent, I have a really cute face and beautiful eyes, nice shape, and still a size 8 after two children. I'm a money-maker. And when I dress up and wear my heels, girl, he runs back in the house to wear his wedding ring just to "claim me" in public.

      I may not be the prettiest physically but I AM BEAUTIFUL. that's even stale gist.

      You have to work on your mindset my dear. You have to. It will take you places...

      Delete
    6. Poster please stop this ASAP. I'm a petite Lady and I used to think like you but not anymore. I'm 29 and never really been in a relationship and I used to blame my looks for that but not anymore. The moment I started loving myself, I started seeing myself in a different light. Though I don't have any lover yet, I still don't berate myself this way. I've learnt and grown and I believe that when I find him, he won't toy with me cos I don't even toy with myself.
      Don't let your boyfriend know you have esteem issues. Throw this mindset away immediately cos if people around you notice this, you'll have the real problem.
      Sending you e-hugs, love and smiles.

      Delete
    7. Babe, i have a friend like you or even worse than you yet she is married with 3 kids and me with all my beauty is still single. Men dont always go for beauty. There might be qualities in you that other women lack. You could have a good heart or good sense of humour or 300% in bedmatics. No woman is ugly. Change that mindset and make yourself to be appealing to people in a decent way. Get qualifications, good job, men no like liability

      Delete
    8. Wow, what will I not read. I've always had small breasts and was not even bothered about it. Added a bit of weight and my breast increased too and my man is complaining that he preferred it when it was very small. And here you are complaining this bitterly.

      My dear, if your man does not like you the way you are, believe me, he won't be with you. Just have confidence in yourself.

      Delete
    9. Poster! I'll tell you a story.
      Last week, we went for a women's fellowship, someone baked a really beautiful cake. I didn't know they had cake already so I baked mine, not beautifully decorated tho just a simple cake. After the prayers, we naturally cut the beautiful cake and I was even about to leave with, mine when someone said we had to cut mine. As we did, everyone left the really beautiful cake and came scrambling for my not so beautifully decorated Cake because it was quite tasty.

      You see in life, beauty isn't in outward appearance, but inward.
      For you to say those awful things about yourself means you have no confidence and you need a total overhauling of your mindset.

      I'll like you to indulge yourself in positive affirmations. When you wake up in the morning Search for uplifting scriptures, look yourself in the mirror and say to yourself: I was created in God's image and likeness.
      I have the mind of Christ.
      I have confidence in Christ Jesus.
      I am beautifully made.
      I am the creator's masterpiece etc. Say them continuously and you'll begin to believe them and you'll see them manifest in your life.

      #preacherswife

      Delete
    10. this your mindset is over bad o! you better help yourself, read books , listen to podcasts, have converstaions with yourself and tell yourself beautiful things . you can even read songs of solomon to yourself !

      What the bloody heck ! comon

      Delete
  2. People cannot love you more than you love yourself, just love yourself more please. How can someone have so much negative vibe about themselves? please change your perception about yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nne biko stop.. I couldn't even finish reading, I got slightly irritated with how you were berating yourself.. How can you have such low thinking of your own self. Abeg stop it you're beautiful. Your boify saw the supposed fine ones but still chose you wetin come be your own. Na wah.

    ReplyDelete
  4. SMH!!! Is this how you see yourself?
    Why sell yourself so short?
    You have the lowest self esteem ever. Who sees herself this way?
    Not one positive thing you said about yourself, and I am sorry to say you are terrible and very ungrateful. No advice for you.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's full of negativity, jeez! I can't stand such people around me.

      Delete
    2. Some people need time. No one was born confident. It's a personality you acquire along the way. Also to add to your point, maybe if she sees one positive thing about her, that will negate those negative emotions she feels towards her self.

      Delete
    3. Shooter gyal the wannabe; is that how they lift a broken person in your village?

      Delete
  5. My dear i guess you are a petite lady.. but that is even great news because i am also a petite lady, i dont have boobs or ass but my boyfriend is crazy about me, he is 6'3ft and a fine man. So you can imagine the stares i get Lol.. embrace your beauty, make beautiful hair do, make your self up, you know what fits you wear them or you can even ask any of your fashionable friends.. my boyfriend is madly in love with me and tells me all the time that my smallish statue is his weakness.you need to love yourself first and be proud of your body.. follow women on social media that are petite like us and you will be proud of your size.. its funny how i have never dated an ugly or short man.. they always come tall or huge.. Love yourself and be happy

    ReplyDelete
  6. My dear i guess you are a petite lady.. but that is even great news because i am also a petite lady, i dont have boobs or ass but my boyfriend is crazy about me, he is 6'3ft and a fine man. So you can imagine the stares i get Lol.. embrace your beauty, make beautiful hair do, make your self up, you know what fits you wear them or you can even ask any of your fashionable friends.. my boyfriend is madly in love with me and tells me all the time that my smallish statue is his weakness.you need to love yourself first and be proud of your body.. follow women on social media that are petite like us and you will be proud of your size.. its funny how i have never dated an ugly or short man.. they always come tall or huge.. Love yourself and be happy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
  7. Na wa oh. This one is low self esteem at its peak. I have seen people who you'll probably call " ugly" but they are married to handsome men and their husbands
    adores them. You need to build your self confidence sis,know that you're beautiful and you don't need someone's opinion to validate that. Carry yourself like a queen and people will start treating you just as such. N.B people treat you the way you treat yourself

    ReplyDelete
  8. Some men like their women ugly because they feel they will have peace of mind since no other man will look their way" this is what a man once said.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I used to have a boyfriend that would never tell me if my hair was scattered, if there was red oil on my shirt or my shoes were dusty, etc.

      Why? Because he did not want any other man to find me attractive.

      Guess what I did? Yes, you guessed right.

      I also used to have a friend that loved to outshine me, be the talk of the town, take the praise while using my idea and never attribute the idea to me, subtly shut me up in public, literally want to be me while dominating me, etc. I also dropped her like hot potato.


      A man that loves you right wants you to glow, be the talk of the town, be your best self. A man that loves you, my dear, accepts you. Why can't you accept yourself? What is he holding unto your breast for? Are they to prevent him from slipping and falling? Snap out of this rubbish. You are beautiful. God created you beautiful.

      Stella, you should have given her a resounding, brain-setting slap!

      Delete
  9. Maybe u give him peace of mind.

    A man with a beautiful wife does not have peace ๐Ÿ˜‰u get my drift?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Chai, see wetin social mmebi don do to my Naija Sisis o ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

    So you think say dudes marry nyanshes and boobies?
    Nne, dude see something in you that other ladies do not have; good character perhaps. Stop speeding downhill in your mind and copying fake nyanshed sisis for social media. A lot of those Sisis you browse and admire online are single, not even one dude don price them market o. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
    Forget all those fake things they post, they are wishing to be in your shoes.
    Nne, make you and your dude build this ya marriage on top of Jesus' Word foundation and enjoy your legitimacy biko.
    Shuooooooorrr! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Though I get your point, this line is totally wrong: "A lot of those Sisis you browse and admire online are single, not even one dude don price them market"
      This poster most likely feels this way because she is constantly body-shamed and beauty-shamed. We cannot, in trying to build her esteem, turn around and shame single ladies. Oh, those sisis over there are still SINGLE. They may be single, not because no one is asking as you assume, but because they refused to settle. They may also be single because it is better than being in a meaningless relationship. I know because that is where I currently am. Prayed to God against time-wasters, cos I need to stay single until his appointed time when hubby will arrive. So that no-one-is-asking right now, is a blessing and in accordance with God's will.

      Let us totally stop placing women's value on if they are single or married.

      Delete
    2. @Nib
      You are assessing those comments based on your feelings not on the contents or intention.
      Nobody is shaming single ladies here.
      Do you also know that a lot of ladies are single because they are greedy?
      Where you are is not where others are. Some are living in regrets for refusing very good
      guys earlier and waiting for the loaded ones.We also read a chronicle last week, of one
      saying she won't marry a 5 ft 8 inch "very nice man" because he is "short".
      You will marry at God's appointed time. Please do not miss it.

      Delete
  11. You have nailed the coffin and buried it so what can I say? Only You can unmask your beauty, accentuate the small ass and carry yourself like royalty before the guy dumps your sorry ass. Borrow yourself some self esteem from a BV here. If I mention her name, area go scatter mbok. Lol

    ReplyDelete
  12. You have nailed the coffin and buried it so what can I say? Only You can unmask your beauty, accentuate the small ass and carry yourself like royalty before the guy dumps your sorry ass. Borrow yourself some self esteem from a BV here. If I mention her name, area go scatter abroad mbok. Lol

    ReplyDelete
  13. Poster you need a healthy dose of self esteem.
    There is a level of psychological maturity you'll attain, and you realize it's not just about the big ass and breast, but more about your personality, carriage, intelligence and kind heart.
    YOU ARE ENOUGH, let that sink in, even some of your boyfriend's beautiful friends may be secretly admiring you for your cool qualities and you'll be there thinking less of yourself.

    Love yourself so much and watch your inner beauty reflect without.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Honey,you have low self esteem. Every man wants a wife material,someone that will be loyal to them. All that glitters isn't Gold. You may not be as bad as you see yourself. Please desist from thinking low of yourself. He should count himself lucky to have a treasure like you. There must be something he cherishes more than anything in you.I think your concern should be "how to see the good in you". If you continue this way, you may end of scaring him away. You are a rare gem and must see yourself as that. If your looks are that bad as you claim,try to dress according to your physique.You will attract additional beauty with a nice outfit and select colours that are not so dull.Baby girl you are beautifully made.You may not be Agbani Darego or be curvy but your charisma will definitely be your selling point. Please try to work on that .Lastly,they say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder .

    ReplyDelete
  15. My dear you need to change your mindset.

    You are beautiful whether you believe you are or not. Stop looking down on yourself or else everyone will look down on you.
    Change your thinking! Look at yourself in a mirror and admire yourself. Say nice things to yourself and believe what you say. That should will help your mindset.

    ReplyDelete
  16. You might just be shocked to find out that he loves you just the way you are. We are different. And what we see with our eyes is different. Why do you think of yourself like that?/

    Jo one has it all. There must be something you are good at or that you have that you do uniquely. So that makes you special. That you are not physically attractive and endowed does not mean you are not beautiful.

    How do you define ugly? God made everything in his image and for his purpose. So who is saying what? And how dare you put yourself down? What have you created? Better change that mindset. Its an ungrateful mindset. Change it ASAP.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And if that is what you kept hearing while growing up and you believed it, its time to change that opinion. You were sold a lie, you can change it.

      Delete
  17. Lol������. Your Chronicle is really funny. I laughed out loud while reading it

    ReplyDelete
  18. Lol๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Your Chronicle is really funny. I laughed out loud while reading it

    ReplyDelete
  19. You have a problem a very big one and you are your own problem. You have a low self esteem issue which you really need to come out of, the way you carry yourself matters a lot obviously you have no confidence in yourself which is very bad... Try as much as possible not to look down on yourself so that people won't down on your.. Happiness start from within

    ReplyDelete
  20. I see a problem here, a very big one at that and it will destroy the relationship between you two if you don't quickly turn it off.This problem here is in you, eating you up. I might be wrong on, but what I see in your is Low Self-esteem. You need to learn to love yourself first

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hahahahaha my dear you no get problem. I hope he hasn’t seen this unsecured part of you yet and if he has, he shouldn’t use it against you. There is someone for everyone and you are the one for him. He loves you enough to want to marry you and even show you off. Do you know how many beautiful women are without a man of their own? Or are side chics? See Flavour and his baby mamas. Girl you have what some women want, hold it and thank God. Who beauty help Biko? Jay Z cheated on Beyounce, Halley Berry husband cheat on am too etc and these are beautiful women ooo. Love yourself Biko. Don’t follow how the world define beauty. Define it for yourself and be happy.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Poster you make me laugh really,just thank God cos you are beautifully made by God in a very unique manner

    You are wondering what he sees in you?chai ! Babe it's not by looks oh,he might have seen something in you that attracted you to him,stop this your ugly mindset! A lot are beautiful out there and no husband yet!

    Always dress well and wear a smile too,confidence and carriage goes along way too..nobody is ugly! Don't talk down on yourself like this again,be confident in your beauty before anyone including your in-laws, cos it's how you present yourself they will take you

    All d best

    ReplyDelete
  23. This chronicle made me sad, Poster please learn to love yourself, loving yourself attracts people who will sincerely love you.I will advise if I may, to end that relationship and go on a self discovery journey, transform your mindset...if you are a believer, please study and study about your identity in Christ. 'till you can start saying positive things about yourself, I am afraid you are not ready for a relationship talk less of marriage...Please learn some self-love and self-worth.All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  24. All great qualities of a NUN. We need you here in the convent. Or better still, apply to the devil so you can work as one of his aids. You will function better there. Imagine the rubbish you're typing? you're not disfigured, you don't have any ailment, you're not on the hospital bed, you've not been diagnosed with CORONA VIRUS, you can sit, stand, talk, see and even press phone that's why you have the guts to type this rubbish... Such amount of hate on ones self, Godforbid!!! You already feel if your man cheats on you no one will blame him cos you're ugly? Have you seen the amount of beautiful ladies that are been cheated on daily? Stella, abeg we need children department class for this blog biko… I just dey vex.

    ReplyDelete
  25. See as you finish yourself, for what na?. See in this present day and age no woman is ugly unless you prefer and believe that you are ugly. Apart from facial beauty a lot of qualities defines a woman. I remember my grandfather used to say that marriage is beyond physical beauty. There must be a special quality you have, fine set of teeth, good manners, high cheek bone or even the way you walk, you might be surprised at what trips men. One man told me one day that he is attracted to ladies with k-leg. Please love your self, dress well and walk with self pride and raise your head high, afterall you were chosen among all the beauty queens.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Just why are you doing this to yourself?, Babe love yourself first, before you think of settling down, if not you are a disaster waiting to happen, Calm down and change your mindset. Every one is beautiful in their own way.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Beauty doesn't have to do with the facial appearance or perfect body figure,beauty depicts good character and i am sure that's what your fiance sees in you.Enough with this inferiority complex.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Everyone is beautiful,pretty,in a unique way. No one is ugly.
    Stop belittling yourself.
    Most of the handsome guys their wife's are not so beautiful or pretty but they have peace of mind with them.

    Always dress fine with beautiful and light make up,.
    Always be neat and wears cloth that fits you..
    Stop belittling yourself and don't allow yourfriends to belittle you.
    Stop feeling that way about your self.
    Always look at yourself in the mirror and say i am beautiful..
    LOVE YOURSELF

    It is well dear.
    You don't have problem oooo

    ReplyDelete
  29. You have a great inferiority complex and I hope it does not affect your marriage. Your boyfriend saw something beautiful in you and that’s why he chose you. Love yourself the way you are and your inner beautiful will cover your outward appearance.

    ReplyDelete
  30. As beautiful as Beyonce is, jay z still cheated on her. You can be all sexy and classy looking and a man that wants to cheat on you will choose iya basira with wrapper.

    Haven't you heard the saying "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder?" Your bf might be attracted to you not because of your beauty but because you know to converse intellectually.

    Talking about pre wedding pics, shebi this blog has a baddass makeup artist that will face facebeat you, even Anna banner will be awed at your looks. Pictures can always be edited.

    You are BEAUTIFUL the way you are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Men cheat on both beautiful and ugly ladies.

      I am tired of hearing these Beyonce and Halle Berry's example.

      Let her develop a self esteem and she is good to go.


      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
  31. You will have daughters. Chances are, that they will have your physical attributes but do you want them to think like you? Do you want to project tthis level of insecurity onto them? Especially in a world where men have become wolves and beasts. Are you be mentally prepared to raise a strong woman or a coward? Would you like to raise sons who see only ugliness in a woman and ignore her wisdom and warmth? Stop self-sabotaging. Happiness in marriage is not the duty of your partner. They are obliged to make you happy but it is not really their job. Start now

    ReplyDelete
  32. Very funny read. Every man has his spec. I think u are his spec.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I couldn't finish reading, what a fucked up mindset.
    How can anyone be thinking about herself like this.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Your self- esteem is zero. You need to work on that before you can go into marriage. Nobody can love you better than you love yourself. You are wonderfully and fearfully made in the image of God, there is no definition for beauty, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
    Build your self- esteem first and then marry later. He who finds a wife finds a good thing, you need to believe that you are a good thing and you bring favour.

    ReplyDelete
  35. men dont marry beauty. love you girl

    ReplyDelete
  36. Poster give your self sense joor. He loves you and that's what matters. Just focus on growing the love you guys have.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Joyously Joyful2 March 2020 at 15:52

    Firstoff poster, you need to work on your mindset. No one is actually ugly. I don't know if you are a Christian but if you are, then you need to start seeing yourself through God's eyes, through His Word. The Bible says you are wonderfully and fearfully made, accept it. You are made in the image and likeness of God, accept it. Since God is not ugly, you are not. Don't see yourself through the eyes of people but learn to see yourself through God's eyes.

    Secondly, you need to learn to train your mind to see and accept yourself as beautiful. I'm not someone you may likely call beautiful but then I've learn to accept myself the way I am. Every morning when I dress up to go out, I look at the mirror and tell myself, well, this is the way I am, who cares, there's nothing I can do about it. If you can't see the beauty in me, then it's not my fault you are blind and sincerely it doesn't bother me. I even forget about my looks immediately i'm out of the house and blend into the day's activities. You are beautiful just the way you are. If you need to keep repeating it to yourself every moment till your mind accepts it, please do. Don't wait till someone tells you 'you are beautiful' before you see yourself as such.

    Lastly, none is ugly, all we just need at times is a good hair and a good cloth. I tell you, dressing well and looking good adds a kind of confidence to you. I don't know about you, but it does to me. How do you dress? How is your appearance? You don't have to break the bank to look good, just kno how to combine the right clothes at time and a nice hairdo is all you need to get that good feeling about yourself.

    There's this saying that "change your mind and you'll change your life". I agree. I hope these points of mine helps. If you don't see yourself as beautiful, how then do you want people to see beauty in you.

    You are beautiful dear poster! Accept yourself as that. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  38. How do you survive each day, talking down on your own self like this? Another level of low self esteem unlocked.
    Please do away with does friends that are quick to tell you your flaws. Breast is breast, men are loving fallen breast let alone.... not every man like ash. Some are drawn to personality. Just make sure you have a good heart. And state yourself in the mirror every morning and repeat 'i am beautiful'. You're beautiful sis! Remove that nonsense mentality from the pit of hell

    ReplyDelete
  39. Awwww I am so sorry you feel this way about yourself darling...
    You don't choose who you love
    You can't choose who you love too.

    You are beautiful
    You are all you've got
    Stop looking down at yourself ...
    You are beautiful
    Tell yourself that daily...

    Your breast will be full
    And your bum will be round soon when you are pregnant.

    For the now bask in this love and lovr yourself wholeheartedly .
    None can help or LOVE you like you do.

    ReplyDelete
  40. This is what we have been saying- even if you are surrounded by love on all sides, unless there is love inside, it would never register. Mindset matters. Poster, please look up Marissa Peer, her books and videos. Look for videos online about building your self esteem and gratitude. Where you are right now, even a thousand cosmetic surgeries will not change what you see in the mirror.Look up articles and books on self love and being positive. Your problem is not your physique but your mind. You may end up attracting a man that takes joy in putting women down and you'll put up with the pain because it is how you see yourself. Your focus for at least the next ten months should be on healing your insides and let the relationship and man be running on the side.

    I just feel like crying.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When you hear a fellow human rig herself out of joy like this, am I not supposed to feel for her?

      Delete
    2. Read on body dysmorphia

      Delete
  41. Dear poster,

    You really need to work on your self esteem, it's TOO low.

    Secondly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so your fiance may really have genuine feelings for you and wants to settle down with you.

    As for the small hips and breasts, you can contact me, (if you are in Lagos) for breast enhancement cream and pills from Thailand. It's content is pueraria mirifica; PLS GOOGLE IT. I got it last year so I still have few remaining bottles and tubes for interested ladies.

    Your hips will add on their own after you start making love with your hubby/give birth. I have many witnesses, including myself - I was nicknamed boy/guy by one of my lecturers @Uni but today I wear tight daily so as to bring my hips together.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Poster,your self esteem is zero. Pls change your mind set. Breast and bum bum does not define a woman. Please, you need to start Loving yourself. Everything God created was/is beautiful. It is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Whether u get ass or not,men go still fine you.I no get boobs..at 28 my breast look like a 12 year old or even smaller..Never been single for up to 3 months all my life..since 17 I started dating ..U can get Apetamin or Super Apeti plus syrup ,blood tonic n lots of lots of healthy foods. There are lots of body enhancement pages on Ig who are very active on Ig.Breast enlargement goes for btw 15 to 20k,but btw 19 to 25k..they will transfer your thigh n back back to your hip and ass..It's not surgical and safe.
    For your clothes ,try to get clothes that suit your frame..mustn't be very expensive..there are ok/thrift shops around ..
    Hair:u could go natural ,do braids,wigs..affordable human hair cost 8k btw and above.. e.g Ibeauty hair,treasure,Himalayan or naked hairs..
    Shoes- Okay flats,sneakers,heels .buy according to your pocket.
    Skin- natural glow up skincare products are the best..
    Very Important Build yourself esteem..Never accept your're ugly..even if your are..Grow ur self work from 5% to 100+.
    Men know what they see in women..even the ugliest or not so good looking women are getting married...or better still ask him what he see in u.


    ReplyDelete
  44. I think you need to change your friends. They may have contributed to how you feel about yourself. Beauty is not all about looks. Surround yourself with people that truly know your worty and appreciate you. Also,read books on how to build your self esteem. If you are a Christian,draw closer to God, feel His love for you and it will make all the difference. You are special, you are loved, you are enough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right @flourish. Her circle of friends ain't helping her.There is need to distance herself from them

      Delete
  45. Oh wow.
    Please, let me tell you about my sister Kay. I promise this is not a made up story to make you feel some type of way. It’s 100% real.
    Kay is very very skinny. No boobs, no ass. She’s straight up well, straight. But you see this my sister en her confidence pass Beyounce own. She used her stature to her fullest o. She became a model. Even as a model, people still say she’s too skinny. Lol, she will stand in front of mirror, praise herself well well.... me I go dey back dey hail her “baddest model ever liveth !.” She will be so happy.
    All her friends say the same thing your friends are saying “what will your husband hold? Nigerian men like flesh.” Blah blah. She will laugh and tell them “are Nigerian men the only men in the world?”
    Guess what, she ended up married to a British guy. Oh and my nephew is the prettiest little boy Iv ever seen. While most of the friends that tried to always bring her down are still there, battling with their excess weight gained over years. Some are looking way older than their age right now.
    So girl... you have to start hyping yourself before anybody can hype you o. And obviously you are surrounded by bad friends mehn. There’s nothing as bad as you being pulled down by people who shouldn’t.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Nne, go in front of your mirror and say to yourself, "I am beautiful inside and out and I deserve the best".

    ReplyDelete
  47. Hi lady,how DARE you question the work of GOD???
    You are telling your maker he didn't make you RIGHT??
    who did this to you?who told you YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH??
    please you need to show the young man this chronicle or tell him everything you wrote!!
    So he can explain to you why he loves you because if you marry him with these thoughts it is a SIN!!
    You are more than enough lady,how many sperm cells swam on your birthday??yet God chose you and you are Here thinking your Breast is too small,u have never heard some men likes it small?so it fits in their mouth pata-pata?(apologies please๐Ÿ˜‚)
    You are beautiful darling,you were chosen and are here THE WAY YOU ARE because that is how God wants you to be!!
    Nobody can help u but yourself....
    If u see me and the way I CARRY MYSELF,ud think'i remain for house',be confident sis,do not go into that marriage without A CHANGE abi what will u say in pregnancy/childbirth and body changes?
    Wait,say hi to me on watsapp let me see your face and small breast....07030493148!!
    Please please๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™

    ReplyDelete
  48. Stella thank you for posting.

    I appreciate this and the advice of BVs

    ReplyDelete
  49. I am very pretty and a show stopper but I lacked confidence because of the kind of parents I have;they always talked down and hurl insults at me which allowed me take nonsense from people for so long and suffered a lot but not again because I learnt to start standing for myself,try to start changing your mindset. Build your self up and stop allowing people negative into your life. Beauty is good but so is confidence too, if you lack confidence you will keep suffering

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam! Confidence is key. Poster please find a book of affirmations and repeat them to yourself daily. It took me until my 50s to become confident. Lack of confidence nearly destroyed my life. Please do not let it destroy yours. Your man loves you juts as you are. Accept that love because you deserve to be loved.

      Delete
  50. Madam, i have been referred to as ugly severally. To top it up, i dress very decent, no showing of skin at all and i used to weigh 54kg as at jan 2019. Guess what, i turn men down so frequently, its baffling. Do you know what i have? Confidence. I know who i am, what my strengths are and even my weaknesses. I never hide my confidence. I can hold down any conversation, whether i know about subject matter or come from a position of wanting to acquire knowledge. I am very well read, i care for people and their wellbeing. My point is "if you emphasize your strengths, your weaknesses would fall into the background"

    Can you change your face, body etc? Probably. Give it a few years and you would regret it. What then can you do, fi d yourself, identify what makes you amazing and put that forward. It is enough. You are enough.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Foolishness is when you refused to acknowledge how beautiful, wonderfully and fearfully that God created you but comparing yourself with others.

    A wise woman build her home but a fool destroys it with her mouth.

    Poster you talk too much, learn to shut your mouth and stop complaining.

    If your self esteem is zero what else ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”

    ReplyDelete
  52. All these attack you people are attacking her without actual action steps na wa.

    So poster, I took some make up classes to achieve the perfect brow and look. This was when I thought should look better. And it worked. Now I feel more confident when I step out with my face all glammed up and people ooh and aah over my makeup. My chest is flat like paper abi na table. My ass sef follow flat. I don't know wetin oga see for my body oh. But e don reach 14 years wey he put me for house. Yes sometimes I'm conscious of my body especially after 4 pregnancies. And yeah I did exclusive to the amazement of my well endowed friends. It's not by size. And like most recommended you need to add value somewhere somehow. Be good at your job, run your business successfully, prefer solutions to people's problems and see yourself glow. Trust me looks can vanish in a day. Ask that young lady who was in the plane crash but still forging ahead despite her scars. You will be fine!!

    ReplyDelete
  53. I don't think people realize how deeply some of their words hurt. People live with hurt a long time and some eventually become damaged.
    Your JOKES could hurt someone deeply. Your body-shaming, age-shaming, beauty-shaming, single-shaming. Some of us will never compliment others, never. Now see us preaching to poster. Puhlease.
    Most of us are guilty. That most Nigerians have developed thick skin to verbal abuse doesn't make it ok. Until I left this country, I never realized how abusive words were part of our culture.
    A lot still live with the hurt. Let us be kind.
    Poster may have never heard a kind word from family or friends that made her like this. Low self esteem is not a criminal offence, it is a reflection of the words we hear daily and thoughts we let in.
    Let us be kind.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Who told you your ugly? Please see yourself as the most beautiful girl in the world regardless of wat you see out der. Wear a lovely Ankara or english dress to your inlaws and carry yourself well. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. No one is ugly, u just never see money.

    ReplyDelete
  55. I used to have a coursemate with a really small stature. She rocked it well then. She was fun to be around. She never showed that she was in 6 affected by her mini size.
    Meanwhile, I have always loved to be busty. I wore 2 bras at once in SS2 cos I had only nipples. Fast forward to now (several years later), my bwess are not up to a handful. Guess what? Baby cannot keep off o. He says he is content with my size and his favorite feature is my small cherries. That he received what he asked for. He detests fat/busty/big booty.

    Different men have different taste. Some like petite people, some like big teddy bear-like people. Some men love women that are sound intellectually.

    Build yourself up. Stop talking bad about yourself. Positive words work... I remember when I woke up one morning and said I wanted to be chased and I got chased to the extent that I had to buy and wear a ring on my marriage finger to ward chasers off.
    Practice loving your small features. Much love dear๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿคญ

    ReplyDelete
  56. Dear poster, don't you know that even the "beauty" is fleeting? you are what you tell yourself you are, take time to gaze at yourself in the mirror, do this with a different mindset than you have now, take it one feature at a time, your eyes, nose, ears etc and see the beauty of each one. i'm sure there are things about you other people would be dying to have but because you are so locked in the "oh i'm so ugly" world you wouldn't see them. Appreciate the little things.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Im very beautiful and my body shape suits my body well. Im 35 no boyfriend or husband. With all my beautiful, sexy legs, pink lips, fair skin, round breast, no1 is saying hello only old men. Love yourself men see more than beauty. With my beauty i may end up bin a 2nd wife ๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't settle

      PRAY Specifically and let GOD do it the way HE wants

      Relax

      Delete
  58. ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ Wetin west life no go see for empty street.. Poster, u are ur own problem!!! Beauty is transient, what we need is inner beauty, I use to think like you till I chose to embrace the few good side I felt I had.. Guess what? The minute my mindset changed,everyone around me started seeing me like the most beautiful girl around, cos I started paying attention to every detail about me.. Now I feel like a queen, no longer having tots of "oh my teeth is too long and all" be clouding my sense of seeing the good packed in me.. So poster, the change begins with u and I'm glad you have someone who loves you.. I wasn't lucky cos my thinking and reasoning messed me up for a long time.. I didn't get it right till my late twenties, now I am 32 and still single but my self confidence has tripped, I no longer have fears or esteem issues.. Take care of ur skin, make ur hair beautiful at all time, make ur face up moderately and most importantly step up ur fashion statement.. Cheers sweet

    ReplyDelete
  59. Kia See they way you murdered yourself-esteem.Life is not that Difficult

    I sha hope you have good morals and behavior sha?

    ReplyDelete
  60. Poster,I feel you. There was a girl that look so ugly while we were in school.But if you see her now you won't believe she once look ugly. She has added weight in all the right places and now look more beautiful.
    So I will advice you try to add more weight and I tell you ,you will look much better.Search for things to eat to add body on google. You will be fine dear

    ReplyDelete
  61. Poster, I hope you get to see this. Beauty is more of what is on the inside. I personally think of people as beautiful or otherwise based on their character. I know people that are supposedly pretty but with nasty attitude and I see them as nothing but ugly. Beauty radiates from inside. Take care of your outward appearance, have a good character and get a large dose of confidence to radiate your beauty dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly.
      The amount of Ill mannered people I’ve encountered lately is quite alarming.
      People are more focused on the outside than inside.
      It’s tiring.

      Delete
  62. Poster I can really relate to you! Its not easy for us the unpretty girls I think abut the same thing all the time no ass no boobs face to no fine! Fine girls always get what they want while we the unpretty one's feelings r disregarded! Just build up in what u r guud it n hone ur skills to boost ur confidence and pleassssssse get in touch with a psychologist for therapy asap

    ReplyDelete

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