Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Monday, March 09, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Na wah................









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HUSBAND MATERIAL ISH


I need the opinion of bvs.

 So it happens that hubby couldn't come back during the Valentine's weekend so I travelled down to visit him. We had a little argument because he refused to go to church on Sunday, next thing he said is that I should pack my things and leave as soon as I come back from church, I refused to go, I wanted to see if he would throw me out, since then he has refused to talk to me or request for food.

I saw condoms in his trash and wardrobe but he swore on his life that he's not cheating that maybe it's the guy he drops keys with that used it which is laughable, I'm just fed up of this marriage coz he hardly shows me attention or love.


Can you guys believe the msg I sent this irresponsible idiot on vals day, he didn't even reply with romantic words, but he edited my msg and sent it to another gal, I Snooped and saw it and I cried no be small.


Imagine anytime we quarrel, he will refuse to send money for the kids, if not that I have something doing hunger for don finish us. He even refused to show up for his child's birthday just to punish me. This one follow for husband material?



There are always  warning signs that we overlook when we are in love.....
His childish behaviour did not just start,you must have interpreted it for love when you were dating.....what should we advice you now?
You have made your bed and i dont know what to advice...If he is not violent,things can always be worked out.....

124 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Since him no follow for husband material, then I think you were either desperate to get married or you were so stupid and foolish to use your Brian to know if him be husband material or not..

      You all will just come here and say all manner of bad and evil things about your partners. But you would never talk of your own fault.

      Delete
    2. Poster I pray Jesus takes the wheels of your marriage.

      Delete
    3. This there are always signs we tell women here is wrong in my opinion. Show me one man with no fault. That is how Simbi will end up dating all the guys in her neighbourhood just because of woke signs.

      Some are very good at hiding bad traits too. It's here I read that many men cheat. What the man is doing is what almost all cheats do.

      Maybe it's best for this marriage of a thing to just be scrapped make everybody dey em dey. When a man messes up instead of apportioning blames on him, a woman will still be blamed for not foreseeing that he will mess up in future. Ekuse

      Delete
    4. Thank u18:27 Pple shld stop blaming the woman all d time.

      Delete
    5. 18.27, well said. Sometimes you need to live under the same roof with someone to know their character.


      Abroadian Bv

      Delete
  2. Uhhhhm, yea..that marriage is doomed.

    I stopped reading at "edited my val message and sent it to another girl" 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That part got me laughing.... That man is something else. Poster I don't even know what to say. Some people here will encourage you to pray, watch war room and drink coconut oil. It is well

      Delete
    2. @15:34 LoL. You got me at watch war room and drink coconut oil. Hahahahahahahah

      Delete
    3. MESELF WEAK JOIN.

      SEXYHIPS

      Delete
    4. One babe there is giving him hot doggy 💦💦💦

      Delete
    5. Some men sha! I know of one that whenever he is having issues with the wife he takes the gas hose to work so the wife and kids wont eat, and removes DSTV smartcard so the wife wont watch TV. I wonder what goes on in his head.

      Delete
    6. I stopped reading at Irresponsible Idiot.

      Delete
    7. @ebony that man is very petty, just imagine! This one follow for husband so? The lady no watch TV before he married her or she's just seeing TV and Dstv the first time in his house? What rubbish!

      Delete
    8. This is why it's good to have your own money.
      I will buy a new cooker, teevee and decoder before he comes back home.

      Delete
    9. I will go to his work place and embarrass him. Stupid man

      Delete
    10. Well as much as we don't have good words for the man's pettiness, I wouldn't categorically say the signs were there. Sometimes, we ladies try changing a man from what he is, to what we want him to be or behave as. Thereby, denying ourselves the chance to truly see such a man for who he is. Because all one will get from doing that, is a pretentious man. Who would adjust to suit us.

      So it's best to indulge a man just the way he is, so we can capture the red flags during courtship.

      Delete
  3. Sorry sis. It is just another case of hardworking overly loving woman marries broke dusty man who tries to reclaim his manhood by cheating and treating woman like trash. Also this man does not cherish you. As soon as the man is treating the relationship like he is the prize and not you, there is a huge problem. the man does not cherish you so he cannot respect or love you and believe it or not you are making it worse by showering him with love that he knows he doesn't deserve.

    And why are you the only one sending love messages?? don't tell me you shot your shot at him before you started dating each other

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. deserve her love? he does not even want her love. she needs to cut her losses and move on

      Delete
    2. And what's wrong with shooting one's shot? It will shock that that's not the case here..

      Delete
    3. Anon, I wish I could send this your comment to my friend married to an actor, dude is always feeling like the prize. Rubbish

      Delete
  4. that man does not want

    ReplyDelete
  5. No respect
    No love
    No father figure.

    Start living single but married on paper.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Am telling you. Poster just channel ur love to ur children and be happy.

      Delete
  6. This is serious oh. Some men sha

    ReplyDelete
  7. God Almighty console you Amen.

    To those that wants to marry a God given husbands, kindly start sowing a seed every month to tell Him the man you need that won't make you write chronicles but testimonies.

    Too many bitter marriages everywhere

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Yori Yori Princess,I could
      not agree more. Very well said. Good afternoon

      Delete
    2. You will still be enriching your pastors to get a husband????

      My sisters, just pray to God for direction and open your eyes while dating. Open your eyes real wide. Eyes, head and heart. Don't dash anyone money abeg.

      Delete
    3. Eka joy, kai na wa. What has sowing between you and God, got to do with enriching pastors. Please don't put words in my mouth. If you don't sow, it is none of my business but please..

      Delete
    4. But is sowing not enriching pastors?? Being very observant and looking out for red flags whilst dating would be much more profitable

      Delete
    5. Instalment payment for husband material!!! Odiegwu😂😂😂....na Express u dey o

      Delete
    6. Why are we treating God like He's some kind of tyrant who needs to be placated or mellowed down to give us what we want?

      All believers are blessed with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ Jesus (Eph 1:3). Why would an heir, a child of a King make payments to their father monthly to receive favor from Him? Do you pay your earthly father a token to bear his heritage? No! You are already his child and all he has is yours, your birthright.

      Delete
    7. To enrich your pastors na bad thing, but when you have problems it's the same pastors you run to counsel you for FREE. You think cos Nigeria don't value time it's not important?

      Counseling here in Canada is per minute. You fucking pay.

      Delete
    8. Typical Nigerian thinking. Sowing seed to find husband. Whoever listen to this, need her head examined.

      Delete
    9. Sometimes I wonder why you people will not allow people to have their own opinions. Yori said hers, please say yours and leave her alone. We all have our beliefs and what works for us. Even if you don't give money to Pastors, you still give it to something.Na wah oh

      Delete
    10. Everyone has his or her right to say whatever but when you say things without applying common sense on sensitive issues, some bvs that have wisdom will rephrase it for you.

      If any pastor charges for counselling, he or she is a fraud.
      #oneLove

      Delete
    11. You're in Canada, you're still reasoning like someone living in a cave, how can a pastor be charging for counseling and you think it's okay ?
      Anon 8:00 stop being confidently ignorant, you can't be saying stupid things and expect people to keep quiet and be looking at you for trying to mislead others on a public platform like this.
      You all should be wise and stop encouraging fraud in the name of gods, bishop and prophets.

      Delete
    12. Mystique, thank you so much. Sometimes, when some people describe their God, you think he is a corrupt civil servant or alaga garage. Even to breathe, you must pay. Na wa.

      Delete
  8. What nerve! Edited your text message. Aunty confront him already with the proof since you snooped. He's cheating and you know it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you think he cares?
      His body and spirit has left the marriage long ago

      Delete
    2. Confronting him wouldn't make him stop. Poster,he doesn't love you and he's saying it to your face. Stop showing him love upandan too. Care and love yourself and your beautiful kids.

      Delete
    3. Well confronting him will atleast make him deny or accept, because he's been denying so far.
      Plus she dont need to be such toxic relationship

      Delete
  9. It's like all you (Naija) sisis do is quarrel and call husband "irresponsible idiots?"

    The same way you address him in a public forum like this is same way you address him
    at home; even worse. As you make your bed, so you lie on it. If you make the home
    conducive and peaceful, the man will be counting in hours and minutes to be home.
    But if you are always nagging and branding him with unprintable names, he will prefer
    the desert or rooftop to your abode...that is the word from the only wise God.
    I don't attend pity parties. I will always tell you my truthful yarns. 😘😘😘
    Your attitude sucks even in your writing.
    The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
    Proverbs 14:1.
    Ngwanu, ndi uta, shoot arrows at that Word of God there unu anugo? 🏹🏹😘

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anyone still doubting this person us a man is in for a long thing.

      It's mostly narcissistic igbo men that sound this way

      Delete
    2. Typical, just typical...

      Delete
    3. But surely it takes two to tango, or do I now blame my lack of self-control on being called names in my house? Why can't men take responsibility for their actions for once?? Why heap the whole building home stuff on the woman, well according to your holy book, while the man is free to run rampant? Well I guess like Ceasar said once: women need men more than men need women...

      Delete
    4. @16:27
      Wetin be typical bikonu?
      This ya ntupo ... mean say you never finish yarns
      come back and finish your yarns na?
      😊😊😊

      Delete
    5. ANG!!! Is your own Bible and God skewed!!!

      What about this?
      Ephesians 5:25-27 King James Version (KJV)
      25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

      And this?
      Ephesians 6:4 King James Version (KJV)
      4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

      Do you think God will judge men differently from women or outside His Word?

      Wifey should not have called him an irresponsible idiot but his actions depict just that.
      Neglecting wife and children's welfare is highly irresponsible!

      God created us for love - to love and be loved. God Himself is a a jealous God who does not share our love for Him with any other god.
      As our heavenly Father, He daily loads us with benefits.

      ANG, you are not a grounded Christian.

      Delete
    6. Her attitude sucks??

      So in all of these, the man is not held accountable at all?

      I like how you have condemned and passed sentence on her while totally absolving her husband of any responsibility. It's very Christianly of you. You must be so happy with yourself.

      SMH.

      Delete
    7. @17:10
      You want to "ground" me...like ya egusi okwa ya? 😊😊😊
      All those things wey you dey quote na Scriptures, same me I quote
      (without grounding you😊😊😊)
      You sabi the one wey no be Scripture?
      Okwa ajuju o -na to call ones husband "irresponsible idiot"

      @Mystique
      YOu no tell the Sisi above you wey "ground me" say she judge
      You no tell the girl wey dey abuse her husband online say she
      do wrong.
      You wan make I shave the husband's head in absentia? ha 😮😮
      No be Sisi wey waka come to us for advice we go advise?
      Wait for oga on top to show up so una (Naija girls) go scatter am
      and hol am accountable. 😊😊😊😊

      Delete
  10. You saw condoms and he swore he ain't cheating, next he Photoshop your Valentine message.

    Kpele........😔😔😔😔😔😔

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh lawddddd 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

      Delete
  11. Madam, your hubby is cheating you already,so becareful with him and always ask for protection..

    I pray that God will fix it for you both...

    ReplyDelete
  12. do u know something just from reading that first paragraph I already know something is wrong here . "hubby couldn't come back during the Valentine's weekend so I travelled down to visit him"

    sweetie any man that cannot make valentine a special day for you or travel down to meet YOU does not deserve you. even if you are married he is supposed to be working to get your affection nonstop. to me this one has relaxed and I am sure you used your own hard earned money to buy ticket. seems like he was planning on spending vday with another woman and u ruined his plans. that aside what does he even do for a living???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really? So If I don't make Valentine special for my wife I don't deserve her?
      This is serious.

      Delete
    2. @ 15: 44 and why will you not mk it special ?

      Delete
    3. So my husband who works offshore and couldn't come down for Valentine doesn't deserve me? Waoh!!!

      Delete
    4. @Bigbanty, thank you very much. A lot of people uses useless theories to guide their marriages. So if a man can't make Valentine special he doesn't deserve the wife? Ladies these days don't know what's important in a marriage.

      Delete
    5. Your submission is wrong and I disagree with you , there are various circumstance that can prevent a spouse from spending 14th feb ,
      And why should that even be a test for true worth ?
      Please poster there is nothing true about this comment up here .

      Your concern should be his cheating ass and not Valentines day.

      Delete
    6. Feb 14 means nothing 2 me. So if my husband dint make it special, its no big deal we have more important tins to celebrate together than that valentine's day rubbish mscheeeew.

      Delete
  13. Wow! The things I hear about marriage these days ehn makes me so sad. Please I need people with happy marriages to come and say nice things about the institution before I loose faith completely. Poster it is well with you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy marriages are possible. Make I no talk before I will be reminded that I'm only 3 months old.

      Delete
    2. Eka,If yours is not sweet will u announce it here.u won't cos u don't want to be mocked.

      Delete
    3. There are lots of happy marriages every where. Just do what gives you and your man joy. Be the shoulder, while he is the head.

      Respect first.

      Delete
    4. Yes, you are just 3 months in marriage so park go one side. Let those who have been long in marriage speak. Na honeymoon phase you still dey.

      Delete
    5. yes happy marriages are everywhere, however you are only 3months. Enjoy your honeymoon

      Delete
    6. Let me tell You about my Marriage.
      Married for almost 17years( 17 by Dec) with 4 children, the Spark is still there.
      Yes there is Up/ lows but We can Communicate. We Gist a lot,we Hang out every Fridays except during Period,We eat Dinner together.
      So Yes,there are Happy Marriage out there.

      Delete
    7. Anon I’m happily married for 6 years. My hubby still wakes up at night to tell me he loves me, he still comes home with something for me(fish, chicken, small chops) , the way he used to bring in our dating days, he calls me at least 3 times during the day to check on me, he gives me monthly allowance of 500k and never asks what I do with it, he has never raised his voice at me, he sends my parents gifts and money from time to time, he makes every occasion special I.e my birthday, Valentine’s Day etc, he takes me on a date every weekend except he is out of town. He is young and rich so I cannot swear that he is faithful and I’m not searching nor snooping to catch him, he has ticked 90% of what I want in a man, at some point I started snooping and my friend just advised me to leave his phone alone, that if I hear other women’s stories I’ll just go and do thanksgiving and leave my husband’s phone alone, I took the advice.

      Delete
    8. There are a lot of happy marriages even on this blog but ofcos some cannot share out fear of being trolled.

      Delete
    9. @ anon 17:06, your husband gives you monthly allowance of 500k? As in half a million naira!!!! EHHHHHHH??????

      Father Lord, as i am still single, please bless me with a job that will allow me give this kind of money as monthly allowance to my parents without shaking o !!!!!! Amen!!!!!!

      Delete
  14. Chai men are scum.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not all men are scum ,
      Naturally some humans have faulty behaviours.
      We shouldn't generalise.

      Delete
  15. When ur spouse lives n works in a different location...its a different type of marital challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yeye men everywhere. I have a son and I'm training to be different from men of this generation. Even if He s the only one different in his time, I'll be happy that I did something right...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NICE ONE MA. God go bless you.

      SEXYHIPS

      Delete
  17. Why does this chronicle sound funny to me?

    So his irresponsible ass di 't have the decency to even delete the message he sent to his side piece. Omg!!!! I can't deal.

    ReplyDelete
  18. He edited your valuable message and sent to another girl...poster just have it at the back of your mind that you are alone in that marriage of yours.

    So I suggest you first of all report him to his family, he may be angry at you buy he MUST PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE FOR HIS KIDS, let them know that he has stopped feeding his kids.

    One thing I have noticed about most Nigerian men is that they hate to be seen as an incompetent man who starves his children...Let them know that he is starving his children.

    Also stop giving him too much attention, once he sees that you no longer care about him, he will stop all his madness....The more you show a cheating man that he is hurting you the more they enjoy their stolen waters but once they see that you are no longer hurt by his illicit affair they start wanting you back.

    Madam face your life and your kids and things will get better.

    LEP😛

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wanting you back indeed...does the posters husband sounds like the wanting back group???

      Delete
  19. He edited your message and send it to another girl? Some of you ladies are trying walai, tolerating bullshit in the name of marriage. I envy you people for having the patience because I CAN NEVER. My husband knows there are lines that he can't cross.

    ReplyDelete
  20. How can you edit the message of a spouse and send it to another? So disrespectful! The man seems like one who does not want to be married!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ajo di, imagine editing your message and sending to another babe and asking you to pack and leave when he gets angry. His obviously cheating nu, the guy he gives keys to will boldly use condoms and keep them there for onye? Just like Stella said since he isn't violent, try and work things out. Mana a man that would rather his children goes hungry because his wife offended him aburo ezigbo mmadu o.

    ReplyDelete
  22. does this man have a job?? this is why i advise women to marry up. marry a man that is highly placed not some ingrate that u would be feeding or be passing poverty frustration to you and the kids. not a man that works a low level job that affords him too much mental luxury to still chase chewing gum girls around. because such men have nothing to lose, no shame no reputation and they do the most terrible things to the woman to gain masculinity back. like cheat and use her money to toast other women, they will even use the wife's car to pose and pick up other women.

    not saying rich men don't cheat but the wife has more to gain at the end of the day esp in a country with working legal system. ask jeff bezos' ex wife. even in this naija if u play your cards right, an ex wife of a rich man can get made for life and a good payout. marry with sense o. as you are asking God for guidance and love

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every woman can't marry high nu, the low ones deserve to marry and can become high in the process.

      Delete
  23. Na ur husband u dey call "irresponsible idiot" abi? ...okay o

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Out of the whole story, that was the only thing your head was able to grasp?

      So who else would she have called 'irresponsible idiot' apart from you.

      Anyway, someone who goes for underage girls, how would the head be straight???

      Delete
  24. See how you called your husband an "irresponsible idiot" with alacrity!

    "We had a little argument because he refused to go to church on Sunday, next thing he said is that I should pack my things and leave as soon as I come back from church, I refused to go(disobedient Christian* wife), I wanted to see if he would throw me out,"; - little argument indeed - is he your baby that you should scold him because he missed church?! Throw you out indeed - so as to blame him!!

    You saw condoms so you concluded they are his, undermining his admission. Madam since you said you are fed up, I'm wondering what you are still doing in that union as per itk it all.......suit yourself biko.
    Oho, let me guess, he's still the bread winner of the house, so therefore you are gonna feign happiness indefinitely! My advice to you is stay put and receive sense, respect your husband and watch him reciprocate with love, tame your manipulative tendencies, they will lead you only to destruction.
    Your situation is nowhere near critical, either you adjust for worst or for better.
    After all the Bible says a wise woman builds her home while a foolish one brings it down by herself. Africans say na woman get house - true.
    PS. Today I specially salute all those, such as doppel, Rolanda, and co. who give detailed long advice here; you guys are real MVP - e no easy - not those who only show up to curse and be cursed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can tell this is an igbo man. I'm very sure

      Delete
    2. you are very stupid indeed

      Delete
    3. One more thing.....he shouldn't have edited your message and sent it to anybody - that's terribly wrong! Anyways, all in all marriage is all about forgiveness. Since he lied about the condoms aspect, what was his response to your snooping?! Or you didn't tell him so you may continue the act??! As a married man, I stopped snooping few years ago so that I won't die of high BP before my 40th birthday, do same for your own sanity biko!!!!!

      Delete
    4. God bless you for this honest truth.

      Delete
    5. Bitchplis, King and Anon 16:09, if your spouses behave like poster's husband, I hope you would applaud him?

      Wrong to call him an irresponsible idiot but what does his behaviour portray?

      Is the Bible not specific on how a man should treat his wife and his children?


      Don't support irresponsibility, please.

      Delete
    6. Really? Did is clearly cheating and you are here doing analysis. If he was behaving will she have all these things to say?

      Delete
    7. I'm rating this advice as dangerous to health.

      Delete
  25. Egungun na express you dey enter..
    Be careful make motor no jam you.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Dear poster..I'm glad you have something doing,just ignore him and focus on your children

    Stop snooping too for your own insanity

    All the best

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have been hearing this advice as a child.
      Has it ever worked?
      Which kids?
      Kids have their friends, dont choke them up with your issues.
      Kids will not stop this hurt.

      Delete
  27. He edited your message and sent to another girl? That's crazy!
    He refused to attend his child's birthday party just to punish you? What the hell is he feeling like? Who does that? He doesn't even care about his kids. And he will still refuse to send money to you and the kids anytime you guys quarrel. Why must he drag the kids into this mess? They are innocent for crying out loud.... Just negedu

    ReplyDelete
  28. Dear Poster, hmmmmm. I smell a toxic marriage.I hope you didnt just invite yourself on that val day.Yes its your 2nd home but did he ask you to come? Not all men love a choking partner. You guys has an argument and he asked you to leave. I see you dont respect him as well. See the kind of unprintable name u called your husband " irresponsible idiot" in other words you married an "idiot" and your kids have an irresponsible dad.(Pls Gaurd ur mount with all deligence bs out of it flows the issues of life). I see a stuborn wife in you.He may need a space from you and it wont be bad if u give him that space.Dont send hin to the side chick and come here crying.
    thank u.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But he's an idiot na. Somebody that edited his wife's message and sent to someone else wetin dem dey call that one ? Husband?

      Delete
    2. Nope... He is an "egungun"

      Delete
  29. He is so heartless to allow his children to starve because he has issues with you..God help marriages

    ReplyDelete
  30. Poster first of all calling your husband an IDIOT is a no no at all..Even if he is messing up..This is the father of your kids no matter what..Please ask God to forgive you for saying that..

    Madam you are using gragra on this issue and it will never help matter..You have to learn how to be a slow tiger..Use your power to get what you want from him without giving him drama or quarreling with him..You need to be wise Madam at least for the sake of your kids...Its painful he is following side chicks but the way you are handling it too will make him look for side hens..He refused to attend church leave him alone!! You are a wife not his mother..I tell you even a wrong clock is correct twice in a day.

    Cook him his favourite food and choose a calm moment to approach your husband and pour out your mind to him..Throwing tantrums and arguing does not help..Your husband has his weak point to matter what..Dont give up and keep trying..Remember I am not in support on his behaviour and dont lose yourself because someone treats you wrong..Please please and please..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You must be insane

      Pure insanity

      Do you people give all these good advice when the woman cheats?

      What's wrong with you? You are the reason some Nigerian men are messed up.

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
    2. Why won't she lose herself because someone treats her wrong?

      Do you think High BP is the only disease? There is HIV, gonorrhea e.t.c


      This I must be 'Mrs' is getting out of hand.

      Is the woman the owner of the kids? If all women hold Nigerian men accountable, they will behave themselves.

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
    3. In your life don't tell me I am insane..Do you know me from anywhere..You must be very unintelligent and a dumb ass that you have to insult me to state your point..I am for the woman to get her right from the man and not with gragra as she stated.

      Delete
    4. This is the same thing that was told every first wife, every woman whose husband spent decades outside till he retired ane became unable to afford his real taste. This advice has never worked and never will. The only rewards it brings are STIs, unplanned pregnancy with a man that has left, more heartbreak and pain for the children on whom the frustration would be transferred. This is the advice that leads to being sectioned in a psych ward.

      Delete
    5. You people lack empathy. Giving advice that you can never give yourself if you were in her shoes. Anger, irritation and neglect can make one say such things so we should all understand why she used those words. The man is exactly who you she called him - an irresponsible idiot coz it's only an idiot that will cut off his nose to spite his face. Poster your husband needs genuine repentance and I'm sorry only the Holy Spirit can bring that about. That said, I'm more interested in helping you than in advising you to continue to fight or insult your husband coz at the end of the day, you both lose. So I will ask you... How spiritual are you? This is a battle you cannot win with your mouth nor with tears nor with physical strength. You need divine remedies. So as cliché as it sounds, get on your knees and report to the one before whom you both took your vows. I assume you are a Christian woman. God will begin to first of all, comfort you and fill you with his love and instruct you on the steps you should take to restore your marriage. He's in the business of restoration and that's what you need most now. There's no person God cannot change but we must be willing to do our part in the process. On your own part, you have to commit to obey whatever instructions come. On his own part, if he ignores his own promptings and instructions (for instance God might prompt him to begin to fellowship with the brethren on Sundays) don't react o if he doesn't respond. just leave him to God to take the next step that will shake him up. This battle isn't yours because you can't fight it. How do you want to make him stop cheating and lying? How do you plan to make him more responsible to his kids and more attentive to you? Do you have that capacity? Definitely not in your angry and defeated state of mind. I don't have all answers but I know the one who does and he's waiting for you to come to him. I just finished watching a segment on Daystar where a couple on the verge of divorce from issues like this had their marriage restored when they turned their hearts over to God. God began to work in each of them separately and today, they are happily married. So it's possible. Don't give up hope okay. Cheers
      One more thing, remember to be patient with God, with yourself and your husband as he does his work of restoration.

      Delete
  31. Many Nigerian marriages are like this,poorly raised Niggas,God help the women cus they could be so uncouth too atimes
    My marriage will be heaven on Earth biko

    ReplyDelete
  32. If all women train their boys well and hold their men accountable, things will change.

    If its a woman that cheats, they will rain fire and brimstone.

    To be sincere, some of you are desperate. Desperate to replace the Mrs in the house. Desperate to maintain the 'Mrs' that you will treat a man who cheated on you like a hero.

    Desperate single women
    Desperate married women

    The disgusting part is, some of you single women that likes acting tough, gets married, give birth to one or two children and become a desperate married woman.

    Please, women are not the sole owner of children. Children are the responsibility of the parents.

    KING XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a very silly human being..Very silly..U didnt even read well and you just want to sound woke by all means..Dont you ever in your life I repeat insult me again ever in your life and if you manage to reincarnate back..Spineless idiot!!

      Delete
    2. You are so right! The desperation to keep this MRS title is so appalling! Even in the face of your own health ! One man will be playing God because he is Husband. "PACK YOUR THINGS AND LEAVE" just because of argument about church. It's because he feels so entitled to cheat hence the disrespect.

      Lick his ass for now but prepare and package to exit for your health o

      Delete
    3. There is only one GOD
      No human is GOD
      Anybody requiring you to sacrifice yourself and worship them is simply pretending to be an idol!!!!

      Delete
    4. King xoxo and jetli, I agree. Respect is reciprocal and earned. This guy has left the building. Let the poster face the reality on ground-she married someone else's husband.

      Delete
  33. Reads like u forced dis marriage sha, i will not lie. Omo see pick one thing u r gaining from this man and if it is worth it, stay. Is it d good sex, is it money, what is it? If u can't think of anything. My dear leave him, because he won't change, take it from person wey sabi things. The euphoria of being with u has fizzled out, deal with it poster and find someone else. I doubt the sex is bumdiggidy sef. It is hard but move the fock on.

    ReplyDelete
  34. There might still be hope in the marriage if he is ready to turn the corner. Have a heart to heart tok with him and if he dosesnt change, then u should be more convinced it's the right time to leave.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Humans were not created to be monogamous.Humans are polygamous,they are not meant to strive in one relationship hence the high level of extramarital affairs going on in our society.
    Most married people are just scamming themselves.You cannot be with your partner alone...
    Go on with what makes you happy and stay in your marriage.
    Divorce is not sweet especially in Nigeria where the laws are not favourable to kids and women.
    Be a wise woman.
    Nigerians are hypocritical.
    Give them that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bullshit, if he cannot treat ONE wife right, how can he treat TWO equally nice and with respect. Keep making excuses for men

      Delete
  36. I'm shocked that most BV's advice is that she should face her children and "STAY" in the marriage. Are you all for real? She should stay with a wicked man who treats her and her children like that? Will a man remain in the marriage if tables were turned?

    Madam, report him to your families and if he refuses to change, get a job and LEAVE WITH YOUR CHILDREN!!! You are still in the marriage partly because he's the provider and you're doing nothing. If he dies nko, will you not stand up and do something?

    These useless men will cheat with various women and have the time of their lives while their wives are busy praying and focusing on the children. Then when he gets too old or sick to cheat, he suddenly remembers he has a good wife then people would hail her for "being strong" and "patient". After she has wasted her youth for the man. That if she doesn't die of hypertension before that time. Then your children grow up in such toxic environment, the boys grow up believing they can cheat on their wives and the girls grow up believing they should endure like their mother. God forbid bad thing!!!!

    For your information, even the Bible says that adultery is the only ground for divorce. So you are doing nothing wrong if you walk away.

    ReplyDelete
  37. We need to stop blaming women. This advice from Stella and others about “seeing signs“ is rubbish and also unkind. First of all, people lie and change. Feelings can change. People can fall out of love. Doesn’t justify treating someone like shit. secondly, we should focus on why so many men in the black community think it is okay to treat women poorly. If all women were “sharp” and wanted to marry up who would they marry? How many men are truly good? And how many are rich or even average? In this Nigeria that is the poverty capital of the world? And women will be shouting “men are naturally polygamous“ but can’t shut up about side chicks. Even coronavirus, they will bring up side chicks. You lie to yourselves. Is it a crime to fall in love? Is it a crime to be overly loving to your husband? We don’t know how unfair it is that women are raised their whole lives to please men, and then judged and punished for being mistreated because of it. We need to focus on MEN. Come on! If a man doesn’t want to marry he should stay single or simply divorce as opposed to keeping the wife hostage as free labour or as co bill sharer. find a donor and be paying legally sanctioned child support or something. What rubbish. I’m sure if women start leaving these marriages and abandon the children with the men they would be unable to cope financially and psychologically. They’ll now be looking for female relatives to dump on. Rubbish. women will be here pretending as if it’s by being “sharp”. Last last if that husband’s head turns one day you will be no different than all these women you give silly advice to, and the society you could have helped to fix would be still unable to help you

    ReplyDelete
  38. Those of you giving these advices up and down, please know that it takes two people to keep a marriage. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. Put them in this type of situation, I bet you they will say and do worse than this poster.

      Delete

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