Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Friday, April 03, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmmm......









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
LOOKING FOR CLOSURE...

Hi Stella. I'm writing this to you as some sort of closure.


I started dating this guy early last year. We were acquaintances for some time, before we moved up.


Let me give you a description of his personality. This guy is intelligent, calm, gentle, soft-spoken and cute. Infact, he is the kind of person people like and are comfortable with almost at sight, because he seems incapable of "hurting a fly".


Well, i wasn't too convinced about his seemingly perfect nature, and i kept insisting that there was more to him that he wasn't showing anybody. I really do not believe that anyone could be that perfect. That is how we got close oh. From me trying to scratch the surface of his personality, we started dating.


It all seemed good at first, it was quite cool. He started opening up to me more and became very much comfortable with me. I got to find out that he had a somewhat troubled childhood which made him withdraw from people, and also deep rooted family issues. Along the line, i started feeling like his love for me was not deep. I just "wasn't feeling" it. It seemed too peripheral and i could not feel the fiery love i was used to from past relationships. I excused him based on his personality and background. Maybe he had a hard time expressing himself. I spoke to him about it, and with time, it improved. I was confident that he loved me.



After a little while, i started to notice that he did not have patience while dealing with me. At every little issue, he would get irritated with me and stay on his own. This is someone that could not get angry with other people. With time, he started showing me his "anger side". There was a particular time that he had a disagreement and he flared up. He got so mad that he was shouting, and as he was shouting at me, he was literally vibrating. I was stunned. I had never seen that before, not from anyone else. I didn't even know how to be upset because i was too shocked. The gentle nature could reveal something this scary?? 


Wow!


He never apologised for shouting at me that way, instead what he said was that i was the only person he could show that side of him. That he could never allow another person see him that way.


Because of love, i embraced him and said i accepted him at his worst and i was not put off. I told him everyone had their flaws and i was happy he has finally shown me the real him.


People of God, that was how it started. After that incident, this guy would get upset with me and at the slightest issue, shout at me. He would upset me, and then get upset when i got upset because of that. It was crazy.


I'm not naturally a weak lady. I can be very outspoken and act all tough, although i'm very soft inside. I began to stand up to him. Shouting back at him and also warning him, whenever he started displaying. It did not help. The relationship was turning into a battlefield. We were having issues every week.


Still, i did not want to let go. I truly loved him.


I started talking to him about how i did not understand how he could be so impatient and irritable with someone he said he loves. How he could talk rudely to me and say unprintable things for every time we had a flimsy issue. He learnt to apologise and beg, but it did not change much.


We would have issues close to important days such as birthdays or valentine's day, and he would ignore me even on those days. I was hurting so much that it was affecting my job's performance, because i would spend hours crying instead of actually working.


I so badly wanted him to treat me better, wanted him to handle me more delicately, treat me more tenderly, actually treat me like someone he was madly in love with and did not want to lose, but it was not happening. Worst part was, no one else could relate. To the world, he was and is the perfect man ever. If we were having issues, then i must be the one with the problem.


Mind you, we had really good times. When we were good, we were really good. But when we were bad, it was terrible.



Fast forward to few weeks ago. I stayed at his place to write a job promotion exam, due to proximity.


We were staying happily for a couple of days, until a certain night. He was watching TV and i was trying to play with him. I asked him to help me get something, but he ignored me. I repeated myself but got ignored again. Then i asked him if he couldn't just answer me for few minutes, nothing again. I got upset and left the room. I stayed on my own sulking. I was expecting myluv to come and look for me and pet me so we could just settle. Lo and behold, no one came oh. I stayed there sulking until i heard him switch off the light and go to bed. I was hurt! He could go to bed after making me feel bad, without caring to make things up? Was it too much to ask to be given attention to? I could not understand it. This was someone i had not seen in some months, why was he behaving this way?


I started crying. He heard me crying and came to meet me and asked what the problem was. I ignored him. He asked a couple of times, i ignored him and kept crying. He started shouting at me. That what did i say my problem was. That i want everyone to think he is maltreating me. I kept quiet. After sometime, he left me and went to bed.


The next morning, he apologised before going to work, i kept quiet. I was just so numb and my heart was tired. I did not even have anything to say to him. He got back from work and saw i was still not happy. He started saying he doesn't know how someone could be upset the whole day. And then he continued ranting. I was just sad. I kept asking myself why i was being treated this way. Why it was difficult for him to just love me carefully and tenderly and treat me specially. Why did i get to see this negative part of him that no one else could relate with, and he saw it as ohk to pour out that negative part to just me.


I just turned to him and said "you know this isn't working out. We can't continue like this. I can't let you keep treating me this way". Next thing i heard was, "yes i agree. I think we should just be friends instead".


Hey God. I was taken aback. I did not expect that response at all. Someone i came to spend time with, is this how we are ending things? And you are ok with it? I felt bad afresh.


I do not understand how letting go could be so easy for him. After everything. 

After i had held on this long. I am just weak. We have ended things, but i have not stopped hurting. I'm just really trying to move on and truly let it all go.



What a childish man!!!

Please read through this chronicle again and see what God saved you from......
When your heart heals,you will celebrate that you didnt end up with someone like this...its OK to cry and hurt and heal,ok?

231 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. My UNEC sister @poster

      Delete
    2. "God saved her" ke
      Dear poster, please how old are you? Yes your boyfriend has anger issues which he explained is as a result of his childhood (i am not making excuses, he has to see someone) but you complain way too much.

      Do you think anyone has the energy to keep petting and petting you? You told him to bring something and he refused, the next thing you started sulking... Sulking that lasted 24 hours, you must be such a drama queen and believe me, it can be draining dating a drama queen, i am one too.

      He apologized for peace' sake but you still kept sulking, then you ended it and you expected him to cry and beg, not everyone likes begging and if you dint mean it, why say it?

      You have to work on your whole "damsel in distres" attitude or it may end some of your relationships cus you may come off too needy.

      Dear ladies, men do not get women emotionally, so when you want them to do something say so, dont send mixed signals. You wanted him to beg you, he did yet you dint accept.

      This is why men keep asking the question "what do women really want".

      Delete
    3. "God saved her" ke
      Dear poster, please how old are you? Yes your boyfriend has anger issues which he explained is as a result of his childhood (i am not making excuses, he has to see someone) but you complain way too much.

      Do you think anyone has the energy to keep petting and petting you? You told him to bring something and he refused, the next thing you started sulking... Sulking that lasted 24 hours, you must be such a drama queen and believe me, it can be draining dating a drama queen, i am one too.

      He apologized for peace' sake but you still kept sulking, then you ended it and you expected him to cry and beg, not everyone likes begging and if you dint mean it, why say it?

      You have to work on your whole "damsel in distres" attitude or it may end some of your relationships cus you may come off too needy.

      Dear ladies, men do not get women emotionally, so when you want them to do something say so, dont send mixed signals. You wanted him to beg you, he did yet you dint accept.

      This is why men keep asking the question "what do women really want".

      Delete
    4. And no one is talking about you scratching the surface to reveal what you saw. Someone was being good to you but you wouldn't believe he's that good and when he showed you the other side, you ran to SDK crying foul.
      I'm not saying that what the guy did was okay but you're nowhere near better. Try and work on yourself before going into a new relationship. Appreciate people when they are good to you and don't go about provocating them to get the more of them.
      I'm surprised nobody here is seeing your own problem and how you contributed to make the guy look bad.

      Delete
    5. And no one is talking about you scratching the surface to reveal what you saw. Someone was being good to you but you wouldn't believe he's that good and when he showed you the other side, you ran to SDK crying foul.
      I'm not saying that what the guy did was okay but you're nowhere near better. Try and work on yourself before going into a new relationship. Appreciate people when they are good to you and don't go about provocating them to get the more of them.
      I'm surprised nobody here is seeing your own problem and how you contributed to make the guy look bad.



      Delete
    6. Stella the writer is the childish one here. I use to have a girl friend like that and she came up with this same I CANT CONTINUE LIKE THIS and my reply was fine and I left she is still calling me and I don’t pick her call anymore.l and I don’t miss her at all, I like her a lot but I can’t stand her childishness.We are in a real world little girl. What you want is puppy love and you can only find that in a jobless man or when you were in secondary school or university where most of the things you get are free. As am man we need a supportive lady and not a baby. You want a man that will worship you abi? But you don’t want to worship him. You’re angry he asked and you kept your dirty mouth closed,so he should die on your matter ? A man that has more than a million things in his head . He was on his favorite tv program and you want him to go get something for you? Ur just a witch Abeg leave that man alone go and find house boy idiot.you think say life na play play

      Delete
    7. And no one is talking about you scratching the surface to reveal what you saw. Someone was being good to you but you wouldn't believe he's that good and when he showed you the other side, you ran to SDK crying foul.
      I'm not saying that what the guy did was okay but you're nowhere near better. Try and work on yourself before going into a new relationship. Appreciate people when they are good to you and don't go about provocating them to get the more of them.
      I'm surprised nobody here is seeing your own problem and how you contributed to make the guy look bad.



      Delete
    8. You saved yourself an early grave and you are crying. This kind of men kill you and they tell the court they didn't know when it happened, that everywhere went dark and they woke to see your body. Truth is bitter but don't ever ever tell anybody you are willing to love them as bad as their flaws are. Make penis no lead us to early grave, Amen.

      Delete
    9. Poster am very sorry about all these ok. At first they seem perfect, promise you the world, present themselves as a perfect man and what you dreamt of. As time goes on and you start noticing and asking questions you get to know who they really are. The worst are the ones that sound perfect promising to buy you this and that. Be careful of those sweet sugar coated guys. I just discarded one not long. Honey I know how it feel. I really do trust me! You crave for his love, attention? Touches and they are not there. I feel lonely here too huh. But like stella said! You just escape one chance marriage.

      I want you to look on the bright side of all these. Now imagine you have married him?? Like rush and Marry and later all these start coming up.?? Reason you see many marriages breaking. BROKEN ENGAGEMENT OR RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER DAN A BROKEN MARRIAGE DARLING. Thank God for opening your eyes to see and. Yes cry all you want now! Block him on all social media for now. I mean all. Delete all his pics and block his number for now. Is ok to think about him ok. But tell yourself u deserve better and let that stick to ur head. Pray to God for ur own man. I am doing that also.

      Ladies we need to shine eyes oo. Alot of men or ladies out there are from damage family looking for someone daughter to crush. E-hug to u. All will be fine at last ok.

      Delete
    10. Anon 16.50. Abeg are you the poster bf??? Na question I ask. So becos u are too serious no mean say u no go show woman love. Mr serious minded. Abeg shift jare. Na ur type dey beat woman. But when u dey swim in btw her legs! Current they pass from ur brain to ur yash u no dey act serious oo. Smh.

      Delete
    11. @push up, that's exactly what I said ๐Ÿ‘‡ 'God saved her ke'

      Babe stayed in a loveless and hopeless relationship and was expecting miracle.

      Delete
    12. The girl get her issues while the man has bigger issues!!! LoL!!!

      Delete
    13. Childish, silly poster. Glad you got dumped the way you were. Good riddance

      Delete
    14. Madam poster, u are the one with d real ISSUE. u want a man that will pet and pamper u etc., what happens to being patient and building a relationship and not a fairytale movie. Just know that men are not always that petty, and when they are, it may be very dangerous

      Delete
    15. You are a drama queen and the uncle doesn't like drama. Oya move to a drama king

      Delete
    16. You r not everything he wants in a woman. He has a big underlying issues. He was probably heartbroken by his formal and keeps comparing you with her without you knowing
      There is something you keep doing his ex he loved so much doesn’t do, hence d irrational behavior . He is broken and needs to heal alone. He is toxic for u, there is nothing wrong with u my dear, someone somewhere in d same frequency will locate u. Move on.
      I broke my ex heart and he still sulks 5yrs on, I was in love with another who broke me, I carried that pain to my ex rebound and kept comparing him , everything he did irritated me,I walked out and ended things, I got healed and regretted letting a good man go , he has refused to b open to any woman, He is facing same thing . Move on pls don’t let him break u. Sending u ❤️ and ๐Ÿ’ก

      Delete
    17. Anon 17:31, abeg na only man de enjoy sex...did she not enjoy the swimming. Women always thinking they do men favour by having sex with them meanwhile they enjoy it more

      Delete
  2. It is well. Ladies stop playing wives to these yeye men. When they eat free cookies, they start misbehaving.

    Nonsense men

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yori YOri Princess,you're an angel and a princess at the same time. He has gotten what he wanted. The most quiet and calm men are the players. Your attitude could also provoke him.If the thing you wanted him get was close by and you told him instead of picking it yourself. Check yourself too and next time don't play the wifey role until you're one.You will definitely heal.God will heal you. I don't think the guy is that bad.

      Delete
    2. Babygurl,PLEASE!
      Don't waste your tears on him.
      You should have kicked him to the curb teh teh mehn...Ah!
      Take it easy on yourself,You gon' be good, sooner than later sef.
      Good riddance to bad kรญnรญ?.. To bad 'lubbish'.
      NEXT❗

      Delete
    3. Exactly. Remove free sex from ur relationship then your eyes go open to concentrate on the important tins. The more you open legs for them! A time will come they will believe that's all wat u can offer them. Next sec everything don burst and unto the next gullible lady to slay. Me I don cross my legs.

      Delete
    4. Anon 16.07.. u are correct . The gentle and calm are the players. As soon as dey enter your cookie jar. Omo na run next. Poster I have been there. Acted all gentle and wont hurt a fly. Sex was mad. After guy man enter. Chop me many times he moved to a single mother. From a virgin to a single mother. Imagine. Players.

      Delete
  3. You did well to walk away. He is not good for you at all. Your relationship will always be up and down. And that's not good for anyone's mental health. You are not sure what to expect at anytime. Not a good one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, how you present yourself in a friendship/relationship goes a long way in determining what you get out of it!
      You must have presented yourself as someone to be shouted down, yelled at and he gave you a full dose of it. You have a job so, why want to remain in a relationship that looks like a chore of it's own? You were trying to hard! As far as I'm concerned, dude emotionally checked out long ago. To think that you started performing poorly at the job that pays your bills? Babe, jobs are scarce boyfriends aren't! Always have it at the back of your mind that, the moment you're out of a job, your value before any man decreases!

      You're a cry baby and trust me, the world doesn't have space for cry babies right now. Look in the mirror and say to yourself "I got this"
      BOSS UP...

      Delete
  4. He has issues from his past he must deal. Sometimes emotional trauma is buried deep within until layer by layer they start coming off. It is better the relationship ended when it did.
    You too beware of this ‘fiery relationships’ you mentioned.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She likes it spicy and fiery where they fight, then when shes arguing he runs to her, hugs and kisses her... She struggles in his arm then finally submits to a hot steamy round of...
      My man is too local for all those Americana moves ๐Ÿคฃ

      Delete
    2. Lol @ Push up, nothing wrong with wanting it fiery or spicy sometimes, it is just that the poster is a cry baby and nag.

      Delete
  5. God just delivered you from the mouth of pestilence lion And you are there asking questions.

    That guy is very sick and his kind of sickness is the type that he can easily lash out on a woman closest to him.

    How you could even tolerate his kind of anger is beyond me.

    Better thank your God that you did not end up marrying him. That kind of guy will help destroy your self esteem and turn you to a psycho.

    Go and rejoice

    Ms.A

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true

      Delete
    2. Mrs A, thank you u. I was unlucky to realize this part of my soon to be ex husband. He almost turned me to a lunatic. If u even try to report him to outsider, they are likely not to believe you because he looks so gently and cool but emotionally unavailable. He started showing his true colour after we got married. Poster count yourself lucky.

      Delete
    3. People shouting the girl dodged a bullet, how about the man judging a bullet from insecure lady....let's be realistic. The poster has issues. Let's stop encouraging bad behaviour because it involved a woman.....she's too petty and has this entitled spirit. Her aim was to see fault and she saw all the fault she looked out for. Let's be careful of what we aim for.....she used her past relationship to judge her present one...people have different individual composition...none is perfect...since she noticed it wasn't what she wanted, why not walk rather than stay to instigate avoidable fights. Why ask him to bring something for you when you can easily get up and pick it. She was busy setting the guy up to fail and the guy failed eventually....the guy might be bad but let's tell her the real truth to work on herself and stop looking for trouble. What worked for A may not work for B. You can't enter a relationship with a CID mindset...you must see something....are you dealing with Angels....work on yourself young lady...and next time behaviour better.

      Delete
  6. Err..both of you are very incompatible. He is short-fused while you are a sucker for attention,Naaa,it won't work. You guys are better apart. Even as ordinary friends, it won't work coz you would catch feelings easily, better be friends with a girl than a guy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The guy has issues he's dealing with. But the poster too has issues, who sucks all through the night till the evening of the next day even when she was asked repeatedly what the problem is?? Who does that???

      Yeah, you want someone that would pamper you, do you know if the guy too needs the same attention you're looking for considering the fact he told you his deep troubled situations.

      You should also learn to let go of petty issues and stop searching for a someone that will care so much for you all the time.
      Everyone has their demons they're fighting.

      Delete
    2. For me i think you are an attention seeker, you crave attention and want to be loved the way you think is right for you to be loved. You stayed angry for a whole day because he didn't give you attention while he was busy watching something he probably was so glued at? So he must always please you? Nah, he has deep trouble yes but you also have trouble. Damn!

      Delete
    3. Anon 17:23, may you not end up with an unemotionally available person, you will understand the poster better.

      Delete
  7. Na real lo and behold. Abeg good riddance. I'm a bit similar to you but I've accepted that my destiny might not be for guys to be totally bowed over by me, so I also give the littlest possible and expect even less so I'm no longer disappointed. I just take it as it comes, forget valentine, forget my birthday no wahala self love ti take over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You garrit!

      Delete
    2. 15:11 that ain't your destiny.
      Just love and treat yourself right and your right man would be drawn by your aura.
      You deserve the best. ❤️๐Ÿค—

      Delete
    3. Stop it! Anon 15:11, don't you ever settle for less. Hold your head up high and demand for the best. The right man will stand up to the occasion.

      Delete
    4. As the destiny distributor that you are na abi? DHL Destiny Distributor.... well done.
      She has told you by herself where she believes her destiny lies, you want to change it, do you know her before?

      Delete
  8. Let him go. He is not for you.
    May God give you closure. Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't understand what you were holding on to,it's better for a man to fall deeply in love with you than forcing yourself on him. You took the right decision by letting go,it's obvious that guy doesn't give two hoots about you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really! Dude's a narc but she sounds like a nag too, reading this chronicle is somewhat depressing Jeez!

      Delete
    2. Really depressing!!!!we fall in love in hopeless places

      Delete
    3. You got it @ shooter Gyal, she's a nagger

      Delete
    4. Shes a drama queen rather than a nag... She enjoys attention๐Ÿคฃ

      Delete
    5. She's a nag because he made her so. That's how Narcs are create conflict then blame you for reaching. They will say you are troublesome because their behaviour is so confusing and it's messing up with you. They will mess up special dates or days and say they don't celebrate it or have interest in it. They have no feelings and only pretend, when they want out they start to do things to push you to the edge so you can break up with them or leave them because they don't like being accountable. They already also have your replacement my dear you don't need closure you just dealt with a sick person who has issues

      Delete
    6. @Don olodo. Your woman hating ways did not let u realize that shooter gyal was talking about the man nagging and not the woman. Better go and see a therapist for this your childhood trauma and mommy abandonment issues. I am sure you're worse than poster's ex bf sef. Chauvinist

      Delete
    7. She's too petty biko.

      Delete
    8. Anon 16. 31. Exactly this players make you nag and look like the troublesome person in the relationship.

      Delete
    9. Anon 16:31 you are so on point! What i experienced, i cannot finish talking about them. If not that my people knows me to be peaceful person, they would have believed i was the one messing up.

      Delete
  10. How was the sex?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm NOT sure he enjoyed the sex, a sexually satisfied man would not flip moods after a mind blowing sex, he'd still be in a state of euphoria, especially when theyve been apart for months... we all know good sex can prolong a bad relationship, at least youre compatible in bed, but No, not in this case, he couldnt wait for her to complete the sentence, he quickly agreed to be just friends.

      Delete
    2. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

      Delete
    3. Lol. There was no sex.

      Delete
    4. Which makes it worse, nothing to bond you together.

      Delete
    5. Maybe he don beg am for sex tire. Frustration don kill d guy. Thank God u no open leg for am. Move on abeg.

      Delete
    6. Anon 17. 31. So u call sex bonding. I pity you

      Delete
    7. Didn't sound like the guy wanted the 'situationship' from beginning, it was her 'gulder ultimate quest'to find out more about the guy that led her into falling hopelessly in love with him. The guy simply complied, or so we thought. Then again, I bet deep down the guy couldn't stand her(even with the s£*) and couldn't wait for the right opportunity to show itself so he can dump her.

      My thing is, when she realized he didn't love him that much, she should have bounced, but she wanted to 'CHANGE' grown ass man...๐Ÿ™„

      Delete
  11. Dear poster, you're childish while your boyfriend is abusive. You've been suffering from Stockholm syndrome. Hope you snap out from it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How is he abusive? Do u know what it means to be abusive?

      Delete
    2. How is she childish. Madam psychologist. These guys are bad. When you complain they tell you that you are nagging.

      Delete
    3. Anon 16:48, yes he is abusive.
      Poster said he says unprintable things when he gets mad...so that's a form of abuse baby. Got it?

      Delete
  12. So you want us to advice you to move on or go and beg him? I dont get why ure writing a chronicle

    ReplyDelete
  13. So this guy who is seemingly well rounded started dating you and because you didn’t trust anyone to be that good natured, you kept nudging and pushing him to provocation and now that he is provoked, you are shocked?

    He may be all you ve typed but you are a handful yourself. You don’t know when to back down, all you care about is yourself.. how he will love you specially, treat you tenderly and literally worship the ground you walk on.

    So what’s in it for him?

    Sis, let me break it to you. You exhausted the fuck out of him. I’m sorry for your breakup because i feel you did love him but pick yourself up. Hope you find the love you crave. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Persian you just won my heart with this com.ent. After quarantine I owe you a box of pizza!!!!!

      Delete
    2. Thank you Perxian. You saved me from the stress of typing. She has an idealistic notion of love maybe from watching way too many overly romanticized movie. She pushed him over the edge and he gave her the reaction she seeks.

      Poster this here is the truth. You don't even know where to stop. Someone was watching a movie and you told the person to give you something you can as well pick by yourself. When he was watching tv? What a time to be romantic! You didn't even consider if he was watching football or a very important program he loves. You are quite selfish too.

      Delete
    3. Is it really too much for a lady to want her man to treat her tenderly and specially??? Isn't it what it really should be?
      Because i do not get your point

      Delete
    4. My Able Prof. Perxian, God bless you abundantly for saying it as it is. Just like I stated below, She is the problem. She forced that side of him out.
      Poster go and get a nanny to babysit you since you need someone to pamper you.

      Female BVs leave sentiment aside and tell the poster the truth like my able Prof. Perxian did.

      Prof. I owe you one plate of nkwobi and a bottle of chilled hero.

      Delete
    5. You are 100% correct . Poster kept pushing and pushing . Needy and clingy somebody .

      Delete
    6. I did not read where she said she kept pushing and provoking him.

      Nothing even indicated that.

      She tried to find out if there was more to him and in the process she fell for him and they started dating.

      Personally, I think the guy is those kind of people that want the world to see them as nice people but inside them, they are really really bad.


      Poster just know you dodged a bullet. It's good you guys are done. Just move on.

      Delete
    7. Perxian, I think we think alike most times. They both have issues cause they are both extremes. Poster look for someone who loves to give attention to his woman.

      Delete
    8. This is the plain truth! She's so irritating to be with. Even I, will act the way the man did

      Delete
    9. Kisses to you Perxian darling. I love you!
      Poster, you're too needy. God forbid I date a girl like you if I were a man. Get busy and stop acting like he has your nose tied up some where hence you can't breathe. I'd be tired of you myself and YES, it's too much too ask. Kilode!
      I'm beyond pissed.
      PS: get yourself a pet preferably, a puppy.
      Stella let me not look for my comment o.

      Delete
    10. 15:51 Suffocating and stifling. She reminds me so much of my ex-friend. I was so suffocated by by her that I didn't know when I started praying to God to give her a boyfriend so I could be free from here. Maybe she is even the one.

      Delete
    11. Anon 15:46, agreed, she forced it out of him. But my question is, can you force out what is not there?
      So, every time he displays his anger, she provoked it out of him? That is impressive. My take is if he keeps doing a particular thing and apologising repeatedly, it is a conscious act, it is who he is. Did you read where he said she is the only one he can be that way around? Like really???
      If she truly pushed him to a point where he displayed this character, I am very happy she did. If not, it would have taken him longer to reveal this bad side of his, thereby wasting her time.

      Delete
    12. Thank you very much!!!
      People are so quick to judge men while putting on dark shades to look at the woman’s faults. A lot of men are not expressive. This is a man who is trying to keep himself in check and you kept pushing and pushing to scratch the surface. You don scratch the surface na, you don see wetin you dey find.
      Let me break it to you sista, every single person has something behind the surface, even the women on here who are calling this man childish. You’ve seen blog fights here and how hot they can be, you’ve seen how stella responds to people when she is angry... when people are angry, they display, they shout. if you’re quiet every single time you’re angry, you’re either powerless or quite sinister.
      Both of you are incompatible and that doesn’t make him a bad person. You seem to be living in fairytale land where the man should always be on his knees begging with flowers whether he is wrong or not. Grow up.

      Delete
    13. I do not agree with you. He provoked her to where she started being irritating only because she was asking questions. It's a manipulating tactic and I'm surprised you can't decipher that from the post

      Delete
    14. Thank you dear, you couldn’t have said it any better, reading her story alone shows she is a nag and a sucker for attention. Poster you exhausted that guy so bad....

      Delete
    15. @BLESSED ONE, that someone is very good don't mean they can't get angry.
      There is a way you will push someone to the wall they will bring out the beast in them to regain their freedom and sanity.
      There are good guys that can't pamper a lady. It is not in them and you can't make them be what they are not. They show you care.
      That a man give you all the attention in the world doesn't mean he love you, so don't get it twisted.
      Sometimes people need their "me time", as their partner you are expected to give them that space.
      The poster is selfish. She want the guy to give her 24/7 attention but doesn't want the guy to have some private time.
      She said she had sweet times with the guy, that means when the guy is in the mood to show affection he is good at it but when he needs his private time she won't give it to him.
      They are not compatible, simple.
      Any hardworking man don't have "24/7 attention giving" time. That's why fuckboys and lazy men use that attention giving to confuse their ladies.

      So I insist the poster should get a nanny to babysit and pamper her as egg.

      Delete
    16. I agree with Ekajoy. Based on what the poster said, I think the issue is that they rubbed each other up the wrong way because they are not compatible.

      I see that the ex was not in love with her and did not value her feelings or respect her and that is why he felt he could treat her "any how", shouting at her at will and displaying nonsense. He knew she had fallen for him yakata......and since he didn't feel the same he really didn't care, blaming his behaviour on him trying to show her his real self. Lame...... Same guy will act very differently for a lady he feels invested in and loves wholeheartedly.

      My dear poster you deserve way better. NEVER accept to be treated anyhow. When a man tries that shit with you, just jappa! You hear? Oya wipe your tears. You have cleared the road for someone better. He couldn't even wait to be rid of you sef. Don't even bother remaining friends. The respect is gone.

      Delete
    17. So damn right perxian, poster, are you kid looking for daddy's attention??

      Delete
    18. Shes being pampered & given lots of attention, not all guys do that.... it doesnt mean they dont love you, but that romantic and lovey dovey bone isnt just there, they werent compatible

      Delete
    19. Ding Ding Ding ๐Ÿ›Ž
      Perixan hit the nail on the head ๐Ÿ’ฅ
      ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ
      You should be a therapist/ adviser
      Fantastic analysis
      She tire the poor boy with her drama.

      Delete
    20. Perxian, do you believe that there are some guys that are so calm and nice to others but their own babe? The perception of others about them is perfection and when issues crop up, fingers are pointed at their partner and not them cos they can't ever go wrong in the eyes of others.

      People like these always make their partners suffer emotionally as no one will ever believe them when they complain.

      I think that is who this poster was with. I know this cos I've seen one before.

      Poster, please don't beat yourself over anything cos God has just saved you from trouble. You will be fine but please learn from this and make yourself happy. All is well.

      Delete
    21. Anon 16:48....I believe you have a point. Let's just conclude they don't understand each other's love language.

      Delete
    22. 16.50 you are a wonderful analyst.

      Delete
    23. This comment makes too much sense. Poster this is literally me and my ex. I always thought the worst of him because he never begged and fussed over me like I saw in the movies (first boyfriend things). Looking back now, I realized how annoying it might have been for him. Me picking up unnecessary fights and forming vex waiting for him to come and beg him. It used to tell him "you don't fami mรณ rร ". Last last we broke up even after we had done introduction because I felt emotionally abused, looking back now, I think I was the one abusing myself ๐Ÿ˜‚. I frustrated the life out of him with my expectations.

      Now I have a partner that is just as attention hungry and clingy as I am. And we'll just be fuming ourselves from kitchen to parlour to toilet ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.You need to take some responsibility as well. Be more self aware and I hope you get over him.

      Delete
    24. Persian stop acting like you know it all and stop pushing the blames on her. You people on this blog have plenty mouth. If you take time to watch many guys carefully . They are not what they seem to act. If she no look well. Na una for this blog go say mbanu oo, aunty u did not look well. Madam move on from him. This guy you describe have a bad character. Pls move all.

      Delete
    25. Eka Joy God bless you for that wise comment. @ permission, i so much love to read your comments but i do not agree with you on this. Please read this post carefully again. Trust me, these type of men truly exist. They are emotionally unavailable but will pretend to be a perfect gentle man until you are hooked. I was never a clingy or needy person but i went through a lot from a man that has the exact character has described up there. Poster, count yourself lucky. Better be grateful you found out his real person now. I wish i was lucky as u.

      Delete
  14. EMOTIONAL ABUSER/BLACKAMILER.
    Do not ever be with such men. They'll drain you inside out till you lose yourself. They don't care about nobody but themselves.
    With time, you will heal, trust me.
    You deserve better, and please do not even keep him as a friend anymore. Block him everywhere.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Read again. She pushed him to the wall in a bid to gauge if he was fake. She is the emotional abuser here. You don't tip someone over the edge and cry wolf when they give you the exact response you were hoping for. He is human too. The only example she gave of him watching the tv wasn't some thing worth sulking over. She needs to stop clmaouring for princess treatment all the time and know how to pick her battles.

      Delete
    2. Sluttychick ๐Ÿ‘.
      Sabella I Understand what you are saying but the thing is Guys like this come out very put together even you will start having serious doubts. I totally understand what the poster went through. A nice person will always be a nice person...when pushed to the wall the least he could have done was walk away or say he’s no longer interested.
      When you meet a wolf in sheep clothing you will be blown away for real.

      Delete

    3. The guy is selfish, he never loved her to begin with.
      Yes, poster is attention crazy, it's normal for some people.
      Sometimes, we just want to be pampered and all that, you don't have to beg for it.
      I mean, if your woman shows you a part of her doubts you, what do you do? Try as much as you can to show her she's got nothing to fear or worry about.
      He is also a manipulator. When they are tired of you, they make you so uncomfortable that you'd lose yourself in the process and walk away so you can be held responsible for the breakup and label you a bad person.
      This type, whenever you have an argument with him, he Will ignore you for weeks without a word until you beg and crawl before they'd let go.
      You dare not argue with them, you are not allowed to have your own opinion. It's draining and it kills your self esteem.
      Before you know it, you are having panic attacks and it's not healthy. You shouldn't be scared to express yourself before your partner.
      Poster, do not blame yourself for whatever happened. You crave attention like alot of us do and it's very normal. Let go and never look back.

      Sluttychic.

      Delete
    4. Guy is a narc. They can pretend to the whole world but show you their real twisted side, and no one would believe you. Girl we should be toasting champagne ๐Ÿฅ‚

      Delete
    5. Oh lawd sluttychic, this is exactly what happened. Too much to put down!

      Delete
    6. So on point slutty chic

      Delete
    7. Hey Slutty chic, you just made me fall on love with you all over. Poster, be thankful. Like i wrote earlier, i got unlucky. I married one and i saw hell. Please keep it moving. I understand you perfectly well because i have been in your shoe.

      Delete
  15. Baby girl, I know things aren't just right about this man that's why you left. You will be fine with time. He probably needs help from a psychologist.

    ReplyDelete
  16. poster pls look for someone you're compatible with someone that can do all you described that this guy is not doing. It's clear you're not meant for each other or is it that you had too much expections? Which resulted to disappointment. You'll heal with time but don't try to work things out

    ReplyDelete
  17. Sometimes love isn't enough. And that's the simple truth. Look at all the tears you shed in a relationship. How do you endure this and more in a marriage? Most especially when u say no one will believe you cos he is a perfect gentleman to every other person. Cry. Weep. Mourn the death of this chapter of your life and try and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  18. So nothing serious made him break up with you but this? I can imagine how hurt you are right now. The fact that he gets upset at the slightest things is heartbreaking. Or maybe u nag and that irritates him. Is there something else u are not telling us CU's if this is all that happened and then he ended it then he's a baby!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He didn't break up with her. She broke up with herself.I don't even know why this Chronicle has got me all riled up.

      ✌️

      Delete
    2. Lmao @she broke up with herself ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
    3. Poster seriously, if you're asked what ended your relationship, what would you say? Is it this; "I asked him to help me get something and because he was watching TV, he refused so I started sulking which metamorphosed into crying and graduated into malice" story? Or there's another story because he has done worse things and you held on...

      Delete
  19. Your instincts saved you. You walked away in a nick of time. Thank God for you, now celebrate because you deserve something better and it was definitely NOT THAT MAN.

    From your description, he seems like an extreme case of a manipulative, controlling and gaslighting person and I won’t be surprised if he shows up begging like his life depends on it.

    If it doesn’t feel right, then it’s definitely not right. I’m proud of your because you are in tune with your spirit and listen to your instincts.

    No one is perfect, yes but it is not in your place to fix a grown man. Jesus has already died for our sins and no one can be his remix. Walk away and enjoy your peace.

    What’s the point of being in a relationship if it doesn’t make you feel great and generally better?

    Love yourself and be confident in your convictions. It is well sis, you dodged a bullet. I can tell you that for sure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I frankly disgree with you, she's actually the gas lighter... She reminds me of Kenya Moore, the poke the bear and later cry wolf

      Delete
    2. Exactly, better she walks away now.

      Delete
  20. Typed out a response that just got wiped out.
    Poster... you are lucky it happened after 1 year not after 5 or more years of sinking in emotions and energy into it. He won't change and will strip you of your self esteem if the relationship continues.
    He might love you but doesn't love you enough, most people like this one don't actually make efforts to stop the cycle of abuse they grew up experiencing whether emotional, physical or psychological...they end up repeating patterns and inflicting the same hurt on others when you'd expect they should know better.
    Be strong, hold on, you might still hurt some more in weeks or months to come but know this baby girl...YOU DODGED A BULLET, and you would come to understand this EVENTUALLY!. Someone out there is waiting to love you like you deserve to be loved.๐Ÿค—

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ahhh.. Stella, what's childish about the guy ehh, Have u heard the guy's version of story?.. Please stop that gender support. It really bad

    ReplyDelete
  22. You too you're a bit childish. How old are both of you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ajebo confidential, Thank you! But I don't know why people can't see that. A grown woman who expects her every whim to be catered too. Poster take to correction and work on yourself too so in your next relationship you don't make the same mistake of pushing men overboard. You never mentioned the instances that led to him flaring up but mentioned his upbringing which isn't an excuse or a determinant factor to why he would act that way with you. Simply because he came from a troubled home doesn't mean he is a bad person, I don't even see how that relate to your story except you want people to blame his behaviour which you obviously elicited on his past.

      Delete
    2. Thank you ladies. You don't provoke a person and cry wolf later. You only mentioned his story to elicit sympathy. Not fair. You were sulking and crying? Hmmmmm.
      I pray God grants you your heart desires and give you a man who'll not only wipe your tears but lick it and call it sugar.

      Delete
    3. Ajebo park well jare. If the guy love am why e no go pet am. All of u acting iron man here. Love is tender biko. Serious minded bullshit talks.

      Delete
    4. 18:25 you are the one who needs to park well oo. Did You read where she said the guy came to beg A COUPLE OF TIMES? but she refused to budge knowing he was going to work she didn't even loosen up a bit and wait till he gets back to tell him how she felt but he came back again to meet her sulking and squeezing face up and down when he got back from work. Like! Who has time for melodramatics after a stressful day at work? Whooo?

      Delete
    5. Anonymous 18.25, you've said it all. Love is tender. He didn't love her. I can't imagine my fiance treating me that way, or vice versa. At all.

      Yep, love is tender. It's not harsh, it's not dismissive.

      Delete

  23. You guys aren't just compatible. Not that he's a childish man or anything. Thank God, you even acknowledged that he's a good man.

    Apparently, you love attention a lot. Sadly, he's not that type of person that loves to give attention.

    You both are sweet people, but you might be better of as just friends, not lovers.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I so much like petting!it makes one feel loved

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just know that not all men do that.

      Delete
    2. My dear it is your love language. Someone that truly loves you will learn to do things that make you happy and vice versa. Don't force yourself to be in a relationship you are not happy in. That is desperate and you might still likely leave after a lot of pain.

      Delete
    3. Anon 16.54 shut up. She like it. She will meet who will over do it. Hian

      Delete
  25. unu abuo di incompatible. you are incompatible. Move on.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Pls this girl is not normal. How can you be angry with someone who did nothing to you? And he even apologized and you're carrying it over for days.
    Stella you didnt read well before commenting. She is always stirring issues when there are no issues and painting him black. There are two sides to every story. I dont believe all she wrote up there. This guy needs to defend himself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is not normal because she had expectations from her man? Or because she refused to take him shouting at her at the slightest issue as ohk?? Throw more light on this abnormality of hers, or perhaps yours.

      Delete
    2. Na wa ooo. Is it wrong to expect to be treated nicely by someone you love? Men who don't care about their girlfriend's feelings are not really in love with them. They see them as temporal place setters.They only marry such women when the ones they really want don't want them. Then they give the unfortunate woman hell after marriage.

      Delete
    3. All of you here have never experienced true and peaceful love. You do tinss effortlessly when you care about someone. I am not surprised. @zendaya and co

      Delete
    4. 18:27 That's where you are so wrong. True love is realistic and not the fairy tale you are being plastered with from telemundo. You the poster needs to know when to back off and let others breathe you also lack emotional intelligence abeggi.
      After he begged you a couple of times over and over again you still locked up you wanted him to cut his head for you? Or you were thinking he would stay back and not go to work before you were having a bad day? There is a stage you get to in relationship where all those fiery initial gragra or sparks dies down and your relationship lives unto a mature mellow level but she wasn't ready to move on from the infatuation stage to mature level. If you think love is about begging someone till eternity like tobi used to beg ceec c in big brother then you must be on a long thing.

      Delete
  27. Poster u have been saved. Cry ur heart out and move on to better things.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Poster you are too clingy.
    You are the one that forced the angry part of him out.
    Let the innocent guy be since you can't act mature.
    If you need someone to pamper you like a baby, go and get a nanny that will babysit you.

    Bear this in mind, a good hustler don't like clingy ladies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Clingy people are a huge turn off!!!!

      Delete
    2. Arrrrrrrghhh....I rather sleep outside than be with a clingy person. Its choking.

      Delete
    3. No, my husband pampers me like a baby. And yes, he is a hard working man. Stop lying to the poster. Men like the one she needs, still exist. Hers will find her.

      Delete
  29. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. You wanted to find out who he was and he showed you, what else did you want from him ?
      It's like you're the type that watches telemundo and you think everything you saw on tv should be replicated.
      I couldn't finished with what you wrote because what you wanted in that guy dues not exist. 
      You're looking for who's gonna be begging you every minute, how old are you sef ?

      Delete
  30. I am currently experiencing the same issue with my boyfriend,not the anger part,tho. God knows I won't make excuses for such behaviour. I can't be thinking of work and man wahala at the same time.
    I'm just like you. I'm emotional and fall in love easily. I finally learnt that not all guys deserve you fawning over them. Today,I woke up and decided not to call my boyfriend.If he cannot call, that's his business.He would definitely notice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So he should not be thinking about his own work wahala too but should be thinking about you ?
      You all want what you can't give.

      Delete
  31. Quoting you:
    "I'm not naturally a weak lady. I can be very outspoken and act all tough,"
    "I ignored him, he ignored me...I ignored him, he ignored me..."
    Shuoooooooooorrr! Na relationship una dey abi na "ignoring match?"
    Okwa sincere ajuju o ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
    You see that ya first line... it shows that perhaps, you know how to
    bring out that bad bad side (which that dude dey hide) from people
    That ya outspoken (and tough) mouth fit release plenty things o. I trust my Naija Sisis
    and them mouths...wawu! No be volcano be that o? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
    As I see this una relationship...mba ignoring match so, una better stay apart o.
    We no wan read say person marry and heads got broken like coconut ๐Ÿฅฅ๐Ÿฅฅ
    Nne, make you close that chapter, use this time to pray, fast, study the Scriptures
    seek the Lord Jesus who gives every good and perfect gift from above. Yes dear,
    work on yourself too, so that when the man he has for you will show up, you won't be
    "too outspoken". Hmm, I say that because I have been in it for more than a decade and
    too much outspokenness (on the part of the lady especially,) does not mix well with marriage ighotago?๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป‍♀️
    And when you meet your husband to be, biko do not go to stay in his house (fornication?) before he
    pays your bride price.
    This is my truthful yarns to you. ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐ŸŒน

    ReplyDelete
  32. Please let him go ,the both of you are incompatible your best will come
    .

    ReplyDelete
  33. I will refer you to one of the posts on this blog on emotionally unavailable persons. There are people who cannot receive or reciprocate love. It is the sad reality.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are indeed inspired and very wise. It is like trying to milk water out of a rock..........

      Delete
    2. Please give us the link

      Delete
  34. Poster, e also dey your body, the guy has issues quiet alright but you too, you get. The last example you gave of how he upset you and you went to the room sulking and later crying, why couldn't you just say what's wrong with you. Well you both ain't compatible. So move on, he saw it and he wanted a way out but he didnt want to hurt you that's why he behaved the way he did.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't mind her. She wanted the guy to ask her what happened but he he asked, she was forming what I don't get.
      The guy has his own side but this girl is a problematic person too, not a saint. She frustrated the guy just because he wanted to see his other side.

      Delete
  35. Sounds to me like something along the borders of Intermittent Explosive Disorder.- read about that.
    People like that are difficult to live with and eventually will likely earn you a bed in the Psyh Ward. Move on and be very thankful to God that you did not wind up with him.

    ReplyDelete
  36. You both have issues abeg

    ReplyDelete
  37. Poster you scratched the surface and got a seething volcano. Curiosity killed the cat.

    You should've left well alone instead of dating him.
    What you would have offered him is an advice to seek professional counseling and therapy instead of taking it upon yourself to 'heal the world' by giving him your love.

    Please, let go and move on. Take your time and be wise next time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The guy really needs therapy. He sounds like a volcano waiting to erupt. This might not end well. He might one day do something that would shock the world when the bough breaks and the center refuses to hold. Let him go and sort out his issues with a professional and be free to have fulfilling relationships. Or else he might end up repeating the mistakes from his upbringing.

      Delete
    2. 17:35 his upbringing is not the isue here. Stop using his upbringing against him to silence him up. Gosh! Every one has emotions and simply because someone is gentle doesn't mean when you push them to the wall they won't respond. Everyone gets angry when frustrated, it is a normal reaction. Because he recused to bring whatever to her while watching a program she sulked and sulked like a baby whom her sweet was stolen. And when he can back a couple of times. Maybe 5 or 6 times to pet her she didn't reply. She wants to kill him?

      Delete
  38. Babe, I believe what you need is reassurance that you did the right thing. You did the right thing by walking away. You already said people blame you for the disputes that happen in your relationship. If you marry the guy, it will get worse, nobody will side you because this guy has painted himself as a good guy to the world.

    Now that you are single, stop making relationship decisions yourself. If any man ask you out, tell him to give you time to get to know him. No matter how much you like the guy, don't rush into the relationship. Take the guy to God in prayer. Keep praying about him until you get a response from God. God will reveal who the guy really is to you. He will tell you what your life journey with the guy will be about. After this, you can now decide if you want to date the guy or not.

    This was exactly what I did some Years back. I stopped making relationship decisions myself, and praying about men that ask me out(even the ones that seems to be perfect) have saved me from a lot of heartache. I am single I have never felt this much peace in my life; because I know God has got me.

    The bottom line of my epistle is, babe, you dodged a bullet. You made the right choice walking away. When he tries to come back, block him out. When you feel pain in your heart, lock yourself in your room and cry, in the midst of the tears pray to Jesus to heal your heart(if you are a Christian), call him to hug you and hold you. When you are done, wipe your tears, hold your head high and keep living. This worked for me babe, and it can work for you too.

    E-hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abegggi, which bullet did she dodge? Poster is clearly manipulative controlling and narcisstic.

      I would say he was the one that dodged a bullet.

      Delete
    2. Good advise Blessed one. Poster please read her carefully so you won't repeat the mistakes you made with Mr vex vex.

      Delete
  39. poster does his name starts with D? Cause trust me I know this type of man you described. Don’t worry your pretty little heart, he’s the one with issues. He's manipulative.
    Can’t you see the way he agreed to leave when you suggested a break up. Lol same thing the same guy I knew did. It’s like they know at the end when you are tired, you will leave. But Trust, he will contact you months later to tell you he miss you cause he’s expecting you to beg.
    You see guys like this have rejection issues. No matter the amount of love you show to him, it would be nothing cause he’s not used to being shown love. He needs to fix himself before being with anyone else. Don’t let him break you cause you see some people are already saying you are the one forcing love on him.
    Take your L and leave. Someone deserving will come.
    Xoxo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you.
      Some comments here just make me weak.
      A guy that genuinely loves you cannot be easily provoked by you, like that all the time. And you can't force out what isnt there.
      I agree with you. He definitely has rejection issues.

      Delete
    2. Does his name start with a D and ends with E

      Delete
    3. You see guys like this always show their true nature but we ladies give excuses. U know this relationship ain't right but u let pple tell u that u r over reacting but u r not. I married that type of guy u have and now divorced but u still have an opportunity not to make a mistake. I knew he wasn't behaving right but i let others tell me i was over reacting but who suffered domestic violence and emotional abuse at the end, me!. At the end, only u know the type of man u can live with. Some pple dont see disrespect from a man as an issue cos their mother was never respected. My dear, he is going to call u back begging. Go read about narcissists and ask God to give u the strength to say no.

      Delete
    4. 15:59 God bless you x ๐Ÿ’ฏ! Poster you need to still work on yourself in becoming mature, but that guy is not it at all.

      Delete
  40. Me sef can't date someone like you!
    You no serious at all
    He was watching TV, you told him to help you get something, he didn't answer you and you went inside to sulk and later cry

    What other things have you been doing to irritate the poor man? Abeg don't disturb his life

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, she's of no good too.

      Delete
    2. You can respond by saying no than ignoring the person. Besides how do y'all think its nice to b ignored

      Delete
    3. Poster it is obvious you are going around supporting those saying what you want to hear. Work on yourself too okay? You aren't perfect either.

      Delete
  41. Na too much Zee World and Telemundo dey worry you. Msteeeeeew.

    See how you exhausted the hell outta the guy. Take water, No. Take juice, no. Take chocolate, no. Until he crawls from Jalingo with rose flower and the entire Aso rock to beg you before you gree.

    You are a handful. The guy may have his issues but you aggravated them with your childishness and immaturity. Now that you’ve broken up, biko work on yourself and grow the hell up before you go and drown another woman’s son with your telemundo expectations.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚
      You guys should have mercy on the poster nau

      Delete
  42. ' I do not understand how letting go could be so easy for him. After everything'

    Which everything? Do you have kids together? Are you married to him? Are you twins or is your placenta with him?
    Come on lady, it's a relationship, it can end anytime, I know it sicks though. You already knew this ain't gon work but you were reluctant to speak up or accept it(literally forcing yourself on dude who no send you or care about your feelings). I am glad he said something.

    Ladies please do no limit yourselves, we deserve better mehn.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Poster you love this guy more than he loves you even if people ask you to leave him and he comes begging,you will accept cos you really love him.the dude na baby trapped in an adult body probably that his way of reacting to ish but that's not what you like walk away cos he does not give a damn .May God give you the closure you need...watch plenty movies and sleep then take enough bournvita so you would not lose weight

    ReplyDelete
  44. How I wish we can as well get the other side of this story.

    The guy might have anger issues but you in other hand have some serious grow up to do. You kept provoking him and you expect him to be begging you all the time?

    Dust yourself and move on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Candix. Poster, look I'm everywhere in the comment section like a praying mantis even to the extent of thanking people I don't know. This chronicle has me all riled up.

      Delete

    2. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ cassie ooooo, candid, merci beaucoup, poster needs to grow up n fast, I even felt choked on the guy's behalf.

      Delete
  45. Poster you love this guy more than he loves you even if people ask you to leave him and he comes begging,you will accept cos you really love him.the dude na baby trapped in an adult body probably that his way of reacting to ish but that's not what you like walk away cos he does not give a damn .May God give you the closure you need...watch plenty movies and sleep then take enough bournvita so you would not lose weight cos you wont have appetite

    ReplyDelete
  46. You both failed to understand each others love languages. To him he was doing everything to please you but for you he was hurting you.


    Let him go please, no man should maltreate a woman no matter what.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Seriously poster i think you are to be blamed for everything that went wrong in that relationship, you pushed that man to his limit just to see his negative side, i can bet you kept on pushing till you brought out the demon in him, guess what you saw it and never took a walk, guyman saw you did not do anything after you saw his bad side so he continued. Men natural like to subdue their woman, i know must of you won’t agree with me but deep down this is the truth, you would have left the guy the way you met him, you would not have gone looking or pushing to see his bad side. Moral of the story, dont fix what is not broken, count your loss and move on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The first time he showed his aggressive nature, it was because he was jealous i was talking to some other guy. I pushed nothing. I had expectations of how to be loved, but I Accepted him. I am completely flawed myself, and i recognise that. All i wanted was to genuinely love and be loved back in return.
      I know i should have walked away initially. My bad for sticking to love.

      Delete
  48. In my opinion you are not matured enough. You are creating a fairy tale in your mind of how perfect the man should be.
    My husband is somewhat like this man. Used to be temperamental but has never raised his hand on me. Got better as we spent time in marriage together. This is 10years later and he's my number one. He still gets angry at the slightest but I know how not to take it serious and he has LEARNT to apoligize. A perfect perfect man but doesn't like when I act too much like a baby. Sulking until he returns from work? That's too much babe.

    Maybe you both aren't compatible after all. He will find someone that will love and give him peace and they grow to understand each other. Same as you.

    ReplyDelete
  49. I am tired of telling women to research about narcissist better still put on YouTube toxic relationship story time then listen to them yout mouth will be open. This is their MO. They give you sub stories to feel pity for them so they can disarm you then the abuse start.you better stop looking for closure and be thankful you got out. It's the dick and emotonal investments that enslaved us better keep it moving

    ReplyDelete
  50. Dear I understand what your going through, next time have some self love for yourself, I am currently dating (7) guys no sex, no house visits and dem no born den with placenta to shout on me, am not violent,am actually smallish, but I spell out the rules of the game and the bullshit I won't swallow, love or no love, if you don't call I don't call you, he who profess love must do love, that is the maxim that has been working for me.Four have proposed and body dey scratch them. I just dey take my time dey do background check.Dont die for love rather love should be dying and resurrecting for you, please don't short change yourself the guy wasn't in love with you, keep a straight face and move on

    ReplyDelete
  51. Lol...you were looking for his bad side. There you have it. On the flip side, he sounds like a sociopath. Like the character Finns in Matters of the Heart, written by Danielle Steel. Kindly move on with your life.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Simple equation: His supply of love and emotion was not = to your demand for love and emotion. In conclusion, you were not compatible and you were too demanding for attention. Many men are not wired that way. As you become more mature you will understand this better.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Poster, please let go. Both of you are incompatible. He doesn't understand your love language. He can't handle it and was beginning to feel suffocated which led to him exploding his anger because you sounded like someone who is emotional, clingy and needy.

    Also work on yourself, most Nigerian men don't and can't handle your kind of person who expects to be pampered. It's just who you are, you will meet the one eventually.

    ReplyDelete
  54. There is no fail to understand anything she is as childish as he is. You are said waited for attention when it came u did nt respond. U said u want to end it he agreed and u r sad... As in am I d only one seeing it. So a perfect person should just have happy emotions. I have been through hell and back and no know what goes on inside all they see is perfections, 1 time I was angry the whole street was shocked. He is as human as u r just read what you wrote infact switch it and realised you erred. He came and ask what's wrong but you never replied, aunty Stella u sided with her to my shock but if he had hit her would that not be a demon he came asked and she still sulked but he is d bad guy I think it is him that dodged the bullet. Just bcos he is meek does nt mean u should treat him like trash as u want to. @lala you are on point. Pushing a man or a person to see the worst makes u the most evil. He did nt hit you or abuse u he agreed with you and u are sad, he reached out and you ignore so he should kee himself or be ur father and mother. U that is perfect why not do the right thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A lot of people don't get it. The girl is narcissistic she is both unduly self absorbed and needy.
      A man has a lot to think about as the potential head of the intending family not to talk of his job and extended family.
      You expect his thought process to be fixated on you 24/7. You are choking the young man and not allowing him the needed solitude to mentality be at his best.
      The anger and shouts are product of this internal frustration he's feeling about your attitude
      Expect you grow up and be realistic about life your experience with Him will be a recurring decimal in all relationships you will have


      Princess poster the world doesn't revolve round you and you are not the next best thing after Coca-Cola so take a chill pill

      The guy actually dodged a bullet not you


      Cheers

      Delete
  55. Queen and Boss where are you?
    Your comments are always straight to the point
    We need your analysis ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿพ

    ReplyDelete
  56. You just described my ex-husband.
    Unfortunately, he kept acting nice till after we married. For 4 months, my neighbours did not know I was in that building. I wasn't allowed to open curtains or windows. He used all my money & always claimed funds tied up.
    It came to a head when I left after he threatened to kill me.
    Anarchist a**

    ReplyDelete
  57. How old are you, Poster? Your unhealthy crave for attention will ruin your future relationships. I'd advise you take a break from any form of sexual relationships and work on yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  58. You just described my soon to be ex- husband. I can't wait for the divorce process to begin and end. Better thank God for letting you see that horrible part of him before it is too late.

    ReplyDelete
  59. YOU ARE A VERY TROUBLESOME LADY.

    why did I say so:
    1. Well, i wasn't too convinced about his seemingly perfect nature, and i kept insisting that there was more to him that he wasn't showing anybody. I really do not believe that anyone could be that perfect. That is how we got close oh. From me trying to scratch the surface of his personality, we started dating.

    SCRATCH WHICH NONSENSE SURFACE. YOU MEAN PUSH HIM TO THE WALL SO HE CAN LOSE HIS COOL AND CALM TEMPER RIGHT?


    2. Along the line, i started feeling like his love for me was not deep. I just "wasn't feeling" it. It seemed too peripheral and i could not feel the fiery love i was used to from past relationships.

    WHAT WERE YOU NOT FEELING? WHY COMPARING HIM TO YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS. IF YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIP WAS SO AMAZING, WHY DIDN'T YOU REMAIN THERE?


    3. After a little while, i started to notice that he did not have patience while dealing with me. At every little issue, he would get irritated with me and stay on his own. This is someone that could not get angry with other people. With time, he started showing me his "anger side". There was a particular time that he had a disagreement and he flared up. He got so mad that he was shouting, and as he was shouting at me, he was literally vibrating. I was stunned. I had never seen that before, not from anyone else. I didn't even know how to be upset because i was too shocked. The gentle nature could reveal something this scary??

    CONGRATULATIONS. YOU SUCCEEDING IN BRINGING THE WORST OUT OF HIM.


    4. He never apologised for shouting at me that way,

    WHY SHOULD HE APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU WHERE WRONG. SO YOU CAN CONTINUE BRINGING THE DRAMA RIGHT? DID YOU ALSO APOLOGIZE FOR THE 'DISAGREEMENT'? OH.. YOU ARE NEVER WRONG, SORRY


    5. People of God, that was how it started. After that incident, this guy would get upset with me and at the slightest issue, shout at me. He would upset me, and then get upset when i got upset because of that. It was crazy.

    YOUR PLANS HAVE FINALLY COME TO REALITY. TURNED HIM INTO A BITTER NAGGING YOUNG MAN.


    6. I'm not naturally a weak lady.

    NA THEM. TEAM STRONG LADY.

    7. I can be very outspoken and act all tough, although i'm very soft inside. I began to stand up to him. SHOUTING back at him and also WARNING him, whenever he started displaying. IT DID NOT HELP. The relationship was turning into a battlefield. We were having issues every week.

    SEE THE WORDS I BOLDED. YOU TRY.


    8. Still, i did not want to let go. I truly loved him.

    BULLYING HIM TO ACCEPT THE RELATIONSHIP ON YOUR TERMS.


    9. We would have issues close to important days such as birthdays or valentine's day, and he would ignore me even on those days. I was hurting so much that it was affecting my job's performance, because i would spend hours crying instead of actually working.

    YOU COULD HAVE TO US THE CAUSES OF THE ISSUES. WHAT STEPS DID YOU TAKE TO SETTLE THE ISSUES APART FROM IGNORING HIM AND CRYING? OH, YOU ARE THE PRINCESS, I FORGOT


    10. I so badly wanted him to treat me better, wanted him to handle me more delicately, treat me more tenderly, actually treat me like someone he was madly in love with and did not want to lose, but it was not happening.

    PRINCESS MENTALITY. HOW DID YOU TREAT HIM?

    11. Worst part was, no one else could relate. To the world, he was and is the perfect man ever. If we were having issues, then i must be the one with the problem.

    THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. EVERYONE CAN'T BE WRONG.


    12. Fast forward to few weeks ago. I stayed at his place to write a job promotion exam, due to proximity.

    YOU COME CARRY YOUR WAHALA COME.


    13. We were staying happily for a couple of days, until a certain night. He was watching TV and i was trying to play with him.

    WHICH NONSENSE PLAY. CAN'T YOU SEE HE WAS WATCHING TV? MUST YOU PLAY AT THAT VERY MOMENT? OH, YOU DIDN'T LIKE HOW PEACEFUL THE HOME WAS.


    ReplyDelete
  60. 14. I asked him to help me get something, but he ignored me. I repeated myself but got ignored again. Then i asked him if he couldn't just answer me for few minutes, nothing again. I got upset and left the room. I stayed on my own sulking.

    WHY CAN'T YOU GO PICK IT UP YOURSELF IF IT WAS SO IMPORTANT AND YOU WERE NOT JUST LOOKING FOR TROUBLE?

    15. I was expecting myluv to come and look for me and pet me so we could just settle. Lo and behold, no one came oh. I stayed there sulking until i heard him switch off the light and go to bed. I was hurt! He could go to bed after making me feel bad, without caring to make things up? Was it too much to ask to be given attention to? I could not understand it.

    SMH.


    17. I started crying. He heard me crying and came to meet me and asked what the problem was. I ignored him. He asked a couple of times, i ignored him and kept crying. He started shouting at me. That what did i say my problem was. That i want everyone to think he is maltreating me. I kept quiet. After sometime, he left me and went to bed.

    SO HE SHOULDN'T SLEEP BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDES TO BE CHILDISH. IS HE A MIND READER THAT WOULD KNOW WHAT YOURPROBLEM IS WITHOUT YOU TALKING? FRUSTRATING SOMEONE'S SON BECAUSE OF RELATIONSHIP.

    18. The next morning, he apologised before going to work, i kept quiet.

    HE EVEN APOLOGISED AND YOU IGNORED. YOUR VERY LUCKY, IF IT WAS ME, YOU ARE LEAVING MY HOUSE THAT MORNING OR I WOULD HAVE LODGE YOU IN AN HOTEL THE NIGHT BEFORE COS I HATE NEGATIVE ENERGY AROUND ME.


    18. He got back from work and saw i was still not happy. He started saying he doesn't know how someone could be upset the whole day. And then he continued ranting. I was just sad. I kept asking myself why i was being treated this way. Why it was difficult for him to just love me carefully and tenderly and treat me specially. Why did i get to see this negative part of him that no one else could relate with, and he saw it as ohk to pour out that negative part to just me.

    SOME MEN DEY TRY OH.. HOW DO YOU GUYS COPE WITH THESE GIRLS?

    19. I just turned to him and said "you know this isn't working out. We can't continue like this. I can't let you keep treating me this way". Next thing i heard was, "yes i agree. I think we should just be friends instead".

    FINALLY!! HE NEEDS TO START HIS HEALING PROCESS. THANK GOODNESS.


    20. Hey God. I was taken aback. I did not expect that response at all.

    OH, YOU WANTED TO MANIPULATE HIM BUT IT BACK FIRED.

    PLEASE, IN GOD'S NAME, DON'T GO BACK TO THE YOUNG MAN. YOU HAVE DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE ALREADY. I PITY THE NEXT GIRL HE WOULD BE WITH, COS SHE MIGHT END UP PAYING FOR YOUR SINS.

    MAY GOD HELP US TO LIVE A LONG AND HAPPY LIFE.

    ReplyDelete

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