Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

OH MY GOD!!!!!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

HUSBAND WITH A SECOND AGENDA

Dear BVs,


How can one silence one's conscience? This has been my major problem since I was little (though some will claim it's a virtue but to me it's been a weakness). I remember when I was about five or six years old, I broke the family picture in our living room accidentally. My parents got home and asked. I denied ever touching it or knowing what happened to it. 

The matter was already forgotten but I couldn't sleep for a very long time. I often thought I would go to hell if I died at that moment (maybe going to catechism worsened my case). I can't remember how long it took but I later confessed to my Dad. To my surprise, my Dad hugged me and said that he already knew. He asked me to promise never to lie again.


Another incident that stood out to me was after my Secondary School. I gained admission to study Medicine in one of our institutions even before my WAEC came out ( then they allowed for awaiting results). Unfortunately, I got a pass in English and that same year, the school had a new VC. 

The VC gave those with awaiting results 6 months to rectify their documentation or else forfeit the admission. Although I'd already registered for GCE, my sister convinced me to go along as she engaged the services of her bestie who made a living then by writing exams(GCE and Jamb) for people. We both wrote GCE at separate centres using my name. Unfortunately, she got the English and I still got a pass. (I'm having a flash back on how I thought my life had ended). My sister tried consoling me and told me to be happy since we still had the opportunity to use her friend's result.

 I battled with my conscience for a long time and later concluded that I couldn't use it. Didn't trust myself not to 'confess' to someone 20 years down the line. Even though my sister thought I wasn't serious, she supported me all the same. I re-registered for another GCE. Looked myself in the room and prayed(the Rosary) and read at the same time. I also registered for NECO too. Results came out, I had C4 in English in my GCE and A1 in my NECO. Anyway, l lost one year of school because of this.

I met the love of my life in my 4th year in the university. He was my first and only relationship. He was so caring, compassionate and not domineering like most guys that were then toasting me. It was easy for his personality to win me over. I became convinced that all guys weren't the same. We got married immediately after my NYSC. Yes, we were deeply in love! Both families were happy with our choice. We discussed our finances, the number of children we would have ( I wanted 5 but he insisted on 3 since he grow up in a large family and said he wouldn't want his children experiencing what he had to experience growing up). Under 12 years of a blissfully married life, we had the gift of 3 Children ( 2 girls and a boy. The boy is the middle child) with the oldest being 11 and the youngest 7.


Sometime during the lockdown, I got a anonymous message that my husband wasn't who he seemed. That because of what I've done in their family, the 'texter' felt I needed to know. The message urged me to dig deep. The tone of the message sounded urgent. But I ignored. I was a health worker that was still very busy regardless of the lock down. 

Two days after the message (I've almost forgotten about it), I needed to place a call to a friend but my mobile network was acting up, I reached out for my husband's phone and discovered that it was using a different password from one we shared in common. I called out to him and told him that I needed to use his phone. I was surprised at his change of continence. He hurriedly went and got his other line that he uses for business calls(he sometimes supplies medical equipments to my hospital and some other contacts I got him). I wouldn't have thought much of it if not that at that instance the message I received earlier played in my head. Being in the medical field, it was easy for me to get access to sedatives which l used to knock him out at night. Using his fingers print, I went through his messages/chats. 

I looked through his frequent contacts and somethings stood out like a sore thumb. I quickly sent the messages via email to my office email address(cos our personal emails were linked). I screenshot those that I could and deleted all evidence of my gaining access to his phone. I also added my thumb print to his device. I was restless the next day and my husband noticed something was off. He tried asking me if there was any problem and I hurriedly lied that the hospital wanted me to work on a night shift. He looked like he didn't believe me but he let it slide. When I got to work, I read the shock of my life! It all started with his family in their personal WhatsApp group (I didn't even know the had another WhatsApp group meant for only his parents and siblings). 

I started going through their conversations and noticed them urging my husband that only one son was inadequate to inherit all the 'wealth he has'. That if I was busy doing Mrs professional, they get him a wife willing to birth other children for him. At first, the conversations showed that he resisted. A week before the lock down, he told me he was traveling to see his parents because we all suspected that there was going to be a lockdown. I then noticed that the tone of the messages changed to one of teasing during this period. He started concurring that 'she' was indeed 'beautiful and well-mannered'. 

As the conversation progressed, he said he was going to come down after the lockdown (I guess after they've lifted interstate travel to see her parents and pay dowry). I felt and still feel like my world has ended. They asked him how he'll handle the woman he has at home and he said that they shouldn't worry, that he knows how to 'keep me under check'! At this point, I totally lost it! He knows he was my all! He knew how to manipulate me. He knows when I'm angry, bothered or hurt; even when I didn't want to admit it myself. He always had the right things to say! This was the reason I fell out with the rest of my family because they said I empowered him to much(besides this is only how I know to love). Before I give one naira to anyone, I let him know, even though he didn't stop me from being charitable.


Did I mention that I bring in 95% of the household income since we got married? He's a Ministry worker who earns not more that #60,000 monthly. Yes, I work in a Federal Government owned hospital. I have my private practice and also have hospitals that I work as a consultant in. I earn between#800,000 to #1,000,000 a month. I've bought choicest houses and landed property in our name and also built their personal house in the village as well as built and funded a big school in the village that is run by both his mother(a retired Principal) and two sisters! 

These same people I opened my heart to are the same ones making arrangements for him to take a second wife! I don't want to remember how I paid for and funded his father's trip to India for a major surgery. These are the people that openly celebrated me and called me the best wife ever! I still get to pay his parents monthly stipends (which is only what my parents enjoy). I opened a community borehole for the villagers to fetch water and still send money for bags of rice, vegetable oil and salt for the most venerable in their community to benefit from. 

I'm not wealthy by any means just that I've been blessed and believe in giving back to the community. I don't know if it's all these acts by 'us', that lead them to believe that there was plenty to share with another family!!!


Back to his WhatsApp messages, I saw one chat with a young lady who looked to be in her late twenties (I checked her out on social media platforms). I'm 38 years while he's 41 years. If not that I was already heartbroken, I would have been swarmed by the level of flirtation I was reading; how much they missed each other and couldn't wait to rip off the clothes off each other! He also promised taking care of her for life and ALL the kids that they'll have.

I worked 2 days straight and refused going back home cos I was sacred that he was going to read through me. I just needed to clear my head and re-strategize. I refused telling my sister, who's my closest confidant for fear of being talked out of my plans. It's been a month and 5 days since I made this discovery. It's been hard keeping a straight face and playing the dutiful wife. I've taken this time to change the properties in our names to my maiden name. Taken all the documents out and left slightly altered coloured photocopies. His parents have been calling him to ask about their monthly stipends but I informed my husband that I was being owed.



My resolve: 

1. Not to fund our joint account ever again. I've already emptied what was there in the first place. This action angered him, as to him, I would have sought his opinion (more like permission). I had to tell him my parents house that they built for over twenty years was licking, I had to send money for the renovation at the spur of the moment because of the rains.


2. Make sure he's unable to impregnate any woman in his life. Again, with my medical training, I can administer a general anaesthetic to knock him off and do a vasectomy which is a very minor surgery. My fear is, what of if she gets pregnant elsewhere and passes it off as his child? That brings me to my second option which is to ensure he never has an erection ever again. I've been researching on how it can be done and I'm coming up with something.


Here's why I'm writing in:

I hope that tomorrow I wouldn't suddenly grow a conscience and confess to him or someone else. How do people do it? Do you think I'll be sinning against God? Would I be judged harshly in the afterlife if I carry my plans through?
I believe a lot of you would give me honest opinions.

N.B: Sorry for the long epistle. I'm not a good writer...I'm writing with my phone cos I don't want any record of this correspondence on my computer.

Lastly, I need your suggestions fast before the ban on interstate travel is lifted as the clock has been ticking.

Thank you

*Are you planning to castrate him and still be his wife?that would be wrong!!

Since it has become like this,your mind is already poisoned and the best thing would be to walk away since you have secured everything....

The house you guys live in make sure you sell it and have the owners come for the property after you move out.....Please set him up to travel before you attempt to move out...

Do not touch anything on his body,you have no right to do so but u have every right to strip him off everything that is yours material wise...

Good luck.