Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmmmmmm.......

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
QUESTION OF LIFE

Good day Stella and Bvs.

I've been anonymous BV since 2014 but I decided to send my story now. I would like you and your BVs to sincerely advise me as this is a very dicey situation. My apologies for the lengthy chronicle.


I am an orphan as my Dad died the week before I was born. My dad was an only child so I have no relatives from his side and my Mum passed on when I was just 8 years old. Before my mum died, I was always falling ill as a child and always feeling very weak. Later,the doctors discovered that I was SS so I had lots of crisis as a child. 

My mum had just one sibling, her younger brother whom she personally trained up to university level down to his second degree so automatically I had to move in with them (He and his family) after she passed on. I wasn't happy at all because I felt no one will be able to take care of me like my mum but I was relieved a bit since I had one remaining relative in this world but since the moment I stepped into my uncle's house, my woes began.


Even with my condition, I was made to do chores that kids my age shouldn't have been doing. I came to their house when they had two kids but now they have four. I always thought my uncle never told his wife that I was SS but the first time I had a crisis in their home, my uncle's wife took me to the hospital and immediately we got back she told me to go upstairs as there was work waiting for me to be done. I was enrolled in a public primary school while their children attended private schools but I never complained, I was grateful because I had a roof over my head. I can't even count how many times I fainted in school.


So fast forward to a particular day, I was 10 years by this time. My uncle said he was going to bathe all of us by that night. I was two years older than their first daughter (child), so I told him that I could bathe myself as I had been doing that all along. Immediately my uncle's wife screamed at me that I should get into the bathroom quickly. In her words, "child that will soon die, they are trying to take care of you and you are proving stubborn". 

So while my uncle was bathing me, I noticed his hand going deeper into my vagina. I tried to stop him immediately but the series of slaps he landed on me weakened me totally. That was the beginning of the s#xual, emotional and physical torture from this man. The he graduated to using his penis. Even on the day I was too weak to struggle with him, he will hit me so hard till I passed out.


According to him, he was teaching me how to enjoy life a little since I will soon. die(because I was SS).

 It greatly affected me and my self esteem, my body was always filled with marks and scars. These are people who are elders in their church as I write, in fact role models to people in their church. Notwithstanding, I was doing very well in school till I finished my secondary school. In fact I was beaten when my waec results came out because I didn't fail any paper but my uncle's daughter failed about four papers (they made her jump classes about twice so we ended up in the same class). 

My uncle's wife called me a witch that I was the one that didn't allow her daughter pass her exams. My cousin was sent to a prestigious private university in Ogun state while I got admission into a federal polytechnic in Lagos state but my uncle and his wife said they had tried taking Care of me and try couldn't continue again. I begged and cried, I even tried running away but I was caught by their neighbour who lived downstairs and handed over to my uncle's wife.

 I wasn't allowed to go anywhere, I literally wore rags as clothes. In fact, my uncle's wife was a stay-at-home mum but all the chores waited till I got back from school of which I never complained because I didn't want to be rebellious in any way. Some times my uncle's wife will come and pick me up from school way before closing time and would tell my teacher that she was taking me to the hospital but she would take me home to go and start doing chores even before school closes.


After some weeks when I had already resigned my fate that I was never going to get a tertiary education, my uncle came back one night with his friend and raped me alongside his friend(He beat me with a belt seriously that night, that why should I refuse him after all he and his family had been doing for me). His wife had travelled that day to her mother's place. Immediately he finished, he threw some money at me (my acceptance fee and my school fee) and said I should thank his friend for talking to him as he was only doing me a favour. Also, that I could only go to school under the condition that I would be going from the house. 

So I agreed with the hope that I can get my freedom from there. The only thing I have ever been given was school fee for each year and my daily transport fare (exact amount with no extra on top). I was always borrowing hand outs as I had no money to make photocopies of my own. The first guy that asked me out in my year 1, I readily agreed to date him because I was glad someone found me attractive but he broke up with me the day I told him I was SS. I always concluded that I had no headway in this world. With all these, I still came tops in my department every year. Anytime my uncle was to pay my fees,he would come and rape me that night.

 I never studied this his pattern till my 300 level. Whenever he rapes me, he would lock the door, make sure his belt is on standby and warn me never to shout as no one will come to my rescue. I used to suspect or rather I'm quite sure his wife knew what he was doing. I tries running away few times but it's either their neighbour sees me or their gateman( because their security is very tight and his wife is always at home, so it's like there is no escape route.


Now I'm done with school but we are yet to complete my project. My department billed us #150,000 for our project. My uncle gave me #50,000 the first time(and came to rape me that night). So the next time he came with the remaining #100, 000. I made up my mind never to allow him rape me again. I told him to his face that if it was because of my school expenses that he was always molesting me, he shouldn't worry that I was ready to drop out and fore go the 100k so as to have my peace. He didn't struggle with me that night but he told me that I should get ready to be a drop out then or reconsider my decision.


Now my department has announced that they will be having a virtual project defense(via zoom) since we are not much in our department and they are not waiting till the corona virus ish is over. It pains me to see that I won't be completing my studies after all my struggles throughout the years. I already made plans to move in with one of my course mates immediately after the defense ( which I would have done before now if not for the fact that she stays with her brother so I was scared of being with another male in the same place till her brother moved out recently). I'm form between both end. One part of me wants to allow him rape me as usual so I can collect the #100, 000 and just pay up for my project and leave but the other part of me is made up on being a drop out.


Did I mention that they are very influential personalities and He has threatened me that I dare not report him. I've even seen him influence police and court decisions with those he rolls with. I know one day, when I have made my money, when I have gotten my self esteem back , when my life is in order, I would come back to get them for all what they did to me. Most times they call me ungrateful, that I am not even happy to have a roof over my head and someone to cater for me. My uncle and his wife messed my childhood up but I want to be a better person in this life. I will cone back for them, surely, when I am better in life.


I've lost my self esteem, I don't even have friends ( I can say this blog is only where I come to clear my head ever since I was introduced to the blog by my ex boyfriend that's by I remained anonymous over the years). I feel I'm depressed most times. I felt no one will believe me. I'm very much afraid of men and even women (because of how callous his wife was to me too). If they always gave me upkeep money, I would have had some savings so as to use to take care of myself. 

 I am just 23 years old and I'm proud of my little academic pursuit. I have nothing to call my own but just God(because ordinarily an SS person cannot go through the beatings and humiliations I went through, it could only have been God that kept me till now) and my dead parents legacy. I have nobody in this lonely world. Do I just let him do that to me one more time so I can graduate successfully? I am still focused and want to do well in life.


Dear Bvs, what do I do?

What kind of question is this?What are you asking exactly?