Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Monday, June 08, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Na wah!!!!







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

OMUGWO CHRONICLES GONE SOUTH.....



BVs please help me analyze.

My mom came for omugwo .mom is never patient to soothe my baby to sleep or carry her.its like I’m bugging her.its either she frowns when I bring the baby to her or she complains she wants to sleep.this has made me so uncomfortable as my hubby is not around now to help.


I am so disappointed and unhappy this is coming from her,as I do everything to make her happy,give her money and my hubby sends to her even my dad in-law sends her money for her support.i do laundry and everything myself as I do not have a help.


I feel like she’s not helping me enough,knowing how a newborn baby keeps one awake at night, I still end up carrying baby 90% of the time during the day and attend to her.

I'm I overreacting? I low key resent her now.looking for a way out .
Advise is needed.....




You didnt tell us if your mum is very old or recently been sick...
I dont think this is enough to resent her,I know you are stressed up,please talk to her and find out her reason cos i am sure she knows what omugwo is about...please discuss this with her before you decide on what to do.....

121 comments:

  1. No you're not over reacting. Everything is normal, she might be a witch you know. That is how a MIL with same character wold have been branded. Treat your mom the way you could have treated your MIL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How could you call her a witch, are you guys sick in the head ?
      Can you say same of your mother ?

      Delete
    2. Since she is your mum please talk to her, beg if need be may be she too is going through some things you no nothing about. No woman will not want to take care of her grandchild except you offend her in the past.

      Delete
    3. And you forget you will one day be MIL. Just know you too you are a witch

      Delete
    4. Hahaha πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    5. SavageπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚@15:02.

      Delete
    6. That Is the point Don the anon was driving at. if it was the mother in law the advice would have followed that written style and most would not fault her

      Delete
    7. BRUTAL SARCASMπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

      Delete
    8. The kind of mothers most of them have yet they will act like their husband's mother is one of a kindπŸ˜‚

      Delete
    9. I had to read it again to get the message. Thanks anon 15:32

      Delete
    10. Don't mind this comment, your mom is not a which. She is rather detached and does not know her role as a mother who came for Omugwo. Some mothers are like and it's disappointing. You are right to feel the way you do cos she should be helping you out. I suggest you speak with her and if she refuses to change and help you, let her stay the duration finish, buy her the omugwo settlements and after that, your next baby does not invite or allow her come. Send for your husband's mother if she is more caring towards you or rather there are elderly women around who do this thing like bathing babies. When your mother asks why I invited a second time tell her to sit in her house cos her coming to the time last time was useless. Finito

      Delete
    11. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£ sarcasm laced with savagery πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    12. My friends mother inlaw did the same thing. This one they were even abroad. The woman just dey shop dey go. Never at home. My friend didnt even hide her displeasure. Always venting to her husband.
      Poster ur mother came for relaxation. Better hire a help dat can atlst help with chores and u can concentrate on ur baby.

      Delete
    13. For her to agree to go for the omugwo means she is not OLD.

      Talk to her.

      Delete
    14. I understand 15.02. She means if it was her mil who visited and did this she would have been labelled a witch.

      Anyway poster, no double standards. Treat her exactly as you would have treated your Mil if she did same.

      Delete
    15. See interpretation up and down. Some of you are really slow and from your responses, quick to anger and impatient. Tufiakwa

      Delete
    16. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ sarcasm raised to power πŸ’―

      Delete
    17. Some of lack incomprehension skill and don't know sarcasm when it hits them in the face.

      Delete
    18. 15:02 I caught your drift 🀣🀣🀣.

      Poster, please get a help and send your mom back home. She has walked this road you are on but being rather insensitive.

      You need to sleep well before you breakdown or go into depression.

      Delete
    19. I have a friend whose mum is like that. When she comes, she tells her daughter my friend that she came from the village to rest not to be running errands...πŸ˜„ She will take tea when she wakes up and just watch TV, once it's getting to 11am, she will tell the daughter that she should start making lunch before 12pm, that she won't like to be so hungry as the tea does not hold the stomach for long.

      The daughter really overlooks those thing she does because she knew if she gets back to village na farm work

      Most of the times, to bath baby na war

      Maybe your

      Delete
    20. Most of you don't get the sarcasm.

      Delete
    21. Poster your mom came to rest and enjoy, not do omugo. Pls consider getting outside help if the work is too much for you. Too much stress is not good for you.

      Delete
    22. Sarcasm your arse. Most MIL never help like when the woman is their daughter. Yes some MIL behave like witches. No one can treat you like your mother. Some MIL are good but some things u get away with your mum you can't try. I have a cousin whose mum never comes for omugwo, instead the mums sister who was childless was always so eager. Even to America the women no gree, it was her same sister who went. Poster tell your mum how you feel, her response will guide you. Any woman who just had a baby needs help

      Delete
    23. @anon01:47, now that it is the wife's mother that is behaving like a witch, should she look her own mother or learn to telerate her. I insist she treats her mother the way she would have treated her MIL. This is to make you all have a taste of your own medicine. Quick to criticize others and act inhumane towards them but when table turns around, you will suddenly realise issues can be handled amicably like human beings. Bunch of hypocrites everywhere

      Delete
    24. If your Mum is old, pls get a maid who will come and close daily, to assist while your Mum supervises.

      Delete
  2. My dear, you are even lucky to still have your mom alive
    Just try to find out what the problem is

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It’s better to have a dead mother than a wicked month we that will not be there for you. There is nothing to be lucky abt.

      Delete
    2. I swear down..If my mum were to be alive..God knows I won't tolerate such attitude from her..She better pack her bags and go back to where she came from.. especially if I'm a 1st time mum.Better to pay someone to come everyday to bath baby n press hot on my tummy than taking such behaviour from someone I call my mum.My mum won't have tried that nah...

      Delete
  3. If her mother was old or sick she
    would not have complained. What a relief it is your mom today at least mils can rest for a while🚢‍♂️
    Talk to your mother let her know you need all the help you can get. It is well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You were expecting it to be MIL? Your plan failed!!! Sick thing... tuehhhh

      Delete
    2. You are the sick thing aproko queen. If comprehension is your problem....read again. Keypad warriors.

      Delete
    3. The way you all jump on others comment is so exasperating. Anon 15:03 was obviously happy it wasn't her mother-in-law. Or did we read the same comment?

      Delete
    4. Anon is low-key attacking naija girls as usual.... if the poster complained about her MIL she won’t give this advice... oshisco

      Delete
    5. This Aproko queen just jumped gboah into conclusion..ha..na WA for people like you o...You no get patience at all.Kai..Anon 15:03..abeg no vex

      Delete
    6. Aproko Queen you missed it by 5 million yards!
      You are not even humble enough to acknowledge your mistake. 🀦‍♀️

      Delete
  4. Exactly talk to her ! Before u conclude

    ReplyDelete
  5. So sorry dearπŸ€—πŸ€— I agree with Stella,you need to talk to her so she can tell you her reasons! And pls try and be civil ok! She's still no your Mom no matter what,just take things easy and do the lil you can so you don't get stressed up! If she didn't give you any good reason,just endure till she leaves

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But do we seriously think she would bring this here without speaking with her mom about her discomforts?

      Delete
  6. Poster i can imagine how you feel. The hurdles of taking care of a baby. However discuss with her. Assumption is not the way. Just ask her if she is ok from there you will understand better. Lets try to be in other people's shoes. Take it easy ok. All the best

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Especially a first time mum. Abeg talk to her and let her know you need more help. You can get someone to do the chores if you can't but make sure you give her the baby. The least she can do is carry her grandchild now.

      Why exactly did she come if she sees you struggling and cannot help??

      Delete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then, she should go back to her house.
      The woman is the one stressing a nursing mother

      Delete
    2. That’s just it Ms A. She should go back.

      Delete
  8. If she was old or recently sick I do not think the poster will complain. She may just be lazy like some Women who only carry the baby when their son is looking and once he leaves she will drop the baby and go to her room and then come out once they hear his car horn and quickly carry the baby and act like that’s what they have been doing all day. Poster I feel u. I think u should use style and ask her to go so ur work is reduced. At least take care of only the baby not baby and grandma

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know someone sitting comfortable on this situation. Didn't know she has other people with the same character oπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    2. Please don't forget the woman in question is her mother ooo. You're basically saying she should give her mum red card.

      Delete
    3. Even if she was my mother I'll still ask her to leave, you can't be putting me through stress in the name of help or helping me.

      It would even be easier to ask my own mother to leave than my mother inlaw.

      I always had a help sha, so if you cant cope get a help, atleast to help with other chores.

      Delete
  9. Omugwo is actually a job on it’s own, and I feel that people that complain so much about the kind of help they get during this period should just hire help for the duration.

    Not all mothers want that stress, I’ve heard an aunt say she is willing to pay for help to take care of her daughter that period. My aunt is a busy exec so staying in someone’s house and carrying baby will definitely not work for her.
    Just because society expects that from older women doesn’t mean they want to do it, or have the stamina for it.

    Since you guys have money to always give her, take that money and hire help simple. The child is yours not your mother’s.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If a mother doesn't want that stress hen she should sit in her house. You are not helping yet adding tress to an already stressed woman,that's not fair. Mothers,omugwo is not by force please

      Delete
    2. Yup, you are right, some mothers are not cut out for that omugwo work at all, i have seen mothers that can't even carry their grandkids properly, talk more of bathing them.

      I would advice you poster to get help if you can afford it.

      I thank God for my mum, she did not let me lift a pin, she took good care of me and my babies.

      Melancholy

      Delete
    3. My dear it's not easy, i am in a kind of similar situation although my mum is not this heartless, she only stayed for five days cos she is a working class and wasn't granted leave, she hardly wakes during the night, only cooked once while I served her the other times, she was sent used to doing house chores. I was only angry at for not staying awake at night but later got used to the whole, frustration nearly killed me the first few weeks, thanks to my mum in-law that frequents her visits if not SDK would have reported the death of one Bv who succumbed to post natal depression. Poster just forgive her and get a help.

      Delete
    4. Dear poster, since it's your own mother, I believe you're permitted to let her know exactly how overwhelmed you feel. Kindly ask her for more help when you need it and tell her you feel overstretched. Also, pay attention to legit excuses if she provides any. It's surprising though cos most grandmums bond with their grandchildren. Apply wisdom and caution in dealing with this. Best of luck.

      Delete
    5. The reason I'm not planning to invite my own...she has been rallying round....wants to come obodo oyibo...E go do her like "filim"....so that I will end up caring for 2 ...she also can't mind her business....abeg some mothers no be am atall....

      Delete
    6. Then her mom came at the wrong time. She clearly needs help now. If you are not wired for that kind of stress, just let the person know and do not bother going for omugwo.
      Poster would have made alternate plans like hiring a nanny if she knew her mum wasn't going to help.

      Delete
  10. My mum too is like that oh. She thinks she came only to play with baby. I would literally be my mum's maid during omugwo. I would set up bath area for baby, my mum will bath
    I would have to clean up bath area after her. Bring out baby's clothes after dressing baby she hands her to me and calls it omugwo. I just tire. Even after that my mum ll call me to massage her. To cook sef if my mum cooks the whole kitchen will look like a mad place. I would clean that I prefer to go hungry than have my mum cook sometimes. Anyways I enjoyed her company though but wouldn't call it omugwo cos I had to prepare most of the meals.my mama just came for holiday

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You see, its almost like you're doing everything yourself. Its better they stay in their home, instead of coming to make things worse.

      Delete
    2. My mom is like this too,no help kobo

      Delete
    3. Yours is even good. Mine ehn, no help at all. For my 3 babies oo. I talked and talked, we quarrelled and quarrelled. Me, I dont like remembering my omugwos. She was very healthy and not old.

      Delete
    4. lol...Same as mine.. It was as though she was a second baby.. and we were in the abroad where there was no help at all. Sigh.. Glad that stage is over..Love her to the moon and back still.

      Delete
    5. So some of you women actually have mothers like this, I'm flabbergasted. Just imagine how your mothers will act when they go to your brothers house for same omugwo. Some o you may even do worse when it is your time to be the help grandma. If anyone accuse MIL here, I will send that person e slap

      Delete
    6. Lol @ anno 16:47,their mothers are actually the wicked mothers in law,that daughters in law are complaining about, lol

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    7. 16:47 πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ azin!!!!

      Delete
  11. Why did she come if she will be unable to help? Plz be calm. I know it may be hard. Try talk to her and express how you feel. Communication is very important.

    ReplyDelete
  12. If she is not going to help , just let her be and give her the silent treatment

    ReplyDelete
  13. Some laZy mothers are like that. My own mom's omuwo visit goes like this:when she comes in the morning, she bathes the baby. she goes to her shop, by the time she comes back tired I and hubby must have finished cooking and cleaning. She eats and watches her favorite program before going to bed. Thank God my babies don't disturb at night. After two week she then goes back to her husband's house.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Its all about understanding.when my mum came for omugwo, she clearly told me that she came to rest..Though she often times assists with d laundry and d baby..Not all mommas are agile.. It doesn't call for resentment.

    ReplyDelete
  15. To avoid stressing out old people n expecting them to work round d clock like young n vibrant ones get a help to come in n go. No two old women's strength are the same. Myself I wont stress anyone pls..we all came to this world to enjoy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SecondedπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

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    2. Thank you! Not every one has the strength or wants to go through that same thing again in their old age. I just feel the mother should have hinted her during the pregnancy so the daughter won't rely solely in her.

      Delete
    3. Gbam,some women don't like stress at all. Get a maid

      Delete
    4. I really want to hug you for this comment!!!
      God Bless you.

      Delete
    5. Exactly @ thatchique, she should have just told her daughter to get a nanny and just be there to keep her company since she doesn't want to stress herself.

      Delete
  16. Poster, you better go get yourself a help and let your mother go back to her home.

    Some mothers are like that... I for one, will never for any reason invite my mother for omugwo. She will come and be doing her own thing.

    I am so used to doing things myself now, that I hardly get satisfied if other people do the same thing for me.

    Poster please, don't fight her, just allow her go back home and get yourself a help before you lose yourself.

    Congratulations on your baby πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

    ReplyDelete
  17. I will advise you get a nanny to help you out, that is if you are buoyant. Just let her be, for your own peace of mind and enjoying motherhood.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Take care of your baby yourself. If you're not in Nigeria and you're alone, won't you do your thing ?
    You wan hate your mom wey raise you because of your own baby ?
    Whatever insult your mama received here, na you cause am .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tire o! Is your mother your slave?

      Delete
    2. Shut your mouth Don. You are as o stupid and talk anyhow. Buffon. Did she tell you she wants to hate her mother? So someone has a mother you can't express how you feel? Judgemental goat

      Delete
  19. Don't conclude yet because most mothers are excited nursing their grand child... So, this is rare...

    Even if she can't cook but baths and cuddles the baby shouldn't be an issue... Except something is wrong somewhere...

    Are you sure you didn't offend her , is she sick or bored with the environment???... Please , sit with her for a heart to heart talk...

    She can't be acting up on her grand child if you didn't offend her when she's not a witch... Not possible...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have no idea what some mothers are capable of doing!!

      Delete
    2. Are you minding the judginas. They think everything about life is how it is in their homes.. Myopic people. Some mothers no send. And yes not all mothers love their children and it's not the child's fault. Pls I am not saying this posters mum. Am just emphasizing the fact that not all mothers behave the same

      Delete
  20. Some mothers are just plain lazy. My cousin's mum is like that. The only thing she likes is to be given a good treat and taken out.... Then you will see her grinning from ear to ear. My cousin had to ask her to go back to her husband's house so that she could hire a proper mature help. This help has been with her for a little over 2years now.... Such a lovely lady.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I just pray my mum is healthy when I start having my kids. She will not fall my hand,I trust her. However I don't plan for her to stay for more than one month Max ( I will be delivering by c.section) so I need time to heal. After that,I plan to do it by myself. I won't have to go resume work till after 3 months,so me and hubby will cope by ourselves.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Your mum doesn't have strength for work. I don't know anyone who has strength but will refuse to help her daughter unless she has always been wicked. Employ extra help if you have the means. I know it can be painful to expect a helping hand from someone but don't get. Mama needs to rest obviously.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Mama came to rest. Still talk to her. She might be tired or laziness has taken over. She birthed you all, so she knows the stress and she feel you can handle your baby as she handled yours.

    Age might be telling on her too. Please don't resent your mother, not a good thing.

    If you have money, look for a maid to help you too in some housework as you take care of the baby. a

    ReplyDelete
  24. Caring for a new born can be so overwhelming,It's quite unfortunate that you are going through all you mentioned,but don't be angry with your mother, some people are not wired to care for others. I don't think she will want to overburden you intentionally.

    I will suggest that you employ someone in your area to assist you during the day. Pay her the money you give to your mom instead.

    When your is about to leave for her base,give her what you can afford.

    Take care dear,You will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I think she is just bin lazy..but still talk to her to know what the problem is.don't get your self worked up..take it easy.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Congratulations on your new born baby πŸ’•.. You see ehn, try to guide your peace and try to do your stuff alone or get a help ✌️

    ReplyDelete
  27. Employ a help, she may be irritable as a result of an undiagnosed illness. Let her go for a body metabolic test.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Stella u are right dere.. My mom came for Omugwo early dis year but I noticed she was weak.. She has high blood pressure and could hardly sleep.. She takes drug before she could sleep.. So I tried not to stress her much with my baby because I had pity on her.. She tried doing the lil she could before she left..

    ReplyDelete
  29. I can imagine what the comments on this post would have been like if it were your MIL. All the same your sending this chronicle shows that your mom is at least healthy enough to take up her omugwo responsibilities.
    She is your mom,so don't take any harsh decision and please do not resent her.
    Don't try reminding her on what to do rather if you want to wash you can plead with her to help you carry your baby,etc.

    After this omugwo,maybe next one you don't invite her,rather you send for someone else.
    May the Lord direct your steps and reveal to you the best way you can handle this situation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tell you! Because it's her mother she would have removed some parts she would have naturally/intentionally added out of pity and daughterly love contrary to if it was her/the MIL.😁

      Delete
  30. Talk to her she is your mother,make her no how you feel when I newly gave birth to my son,my MIl came 1st bcos my mum was sick the woman is so lazy she can't even baf my baby,she said she came to rest and she dont feel any need to help out,i did not complain i just thank God my sister was with me helping me out b4 she left for school,when my mil left my mum was okay so she came but she couldn't do much bcos she was just recovering but she really help wen it comes to carrying the baby

    ReplyDelete
  31. Reading this just made me appreciate my mum even more. When my mum came for omugwo, i was totally useless, i did nothing, absoloutely nothing. My mum did everything for me, she would wake up and bath the baby before waking me. She would wash my clothes and the babys everyday, even when there is no light to use washing machine, she would handwash it refusing to wait for nepa to bring light saying she cant leave dirty clothes.

    At night nko, i would fall asleep till dawn like a cow, the only times i noticed my mum doesnt sleep at night bcuz of the baby are when i wake up to urinate, i would find her awake petting my baby. Till now i dont even know whats its like to be deprived of night sleep because of a crying baby or was it the delicious meals she was preparing for us back to back? Even hubby missed her big time after she left and it was really tough for me as i had to adjust without her

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abeg if you see that ur precious mama,tell am say I dey greet.she's the real MVP!!!

      Delete
    2. Your mum is such a great woman God bless her

      Delete
    3. @Rainbow,
      GOD bless
      GOD bless
      GOD bless
      GOD bless
      GOD bless
      GOD bless
      GOD bless your home uncountable times!

      Your mom is a rare gem!
      Mothers that make motherhood easy for their daughters and daughters in law.

      Delete
    4. Why am I seeing you as the lazy person here. Why would you subject your mother to that. Except the pregnancy and delivery was difficult, I can see why you would deprive a 50yrs or above a night sleep. This where some of them develop high BP or make their existing health condition worst.

      Delete
  32. Take you silence important. Let her go home and rest.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I v had my mum, mum in-law and myself do this whole omugwo thing.
    Personally, doing my omugwo myself worked for me, no expectations, no unnecessary spendings, peace of minds etc.
    Both births were CS in the abroad by the way.
    In all, do what works for you but trust me, doing it yourself is not that difficult plus gives you time to bond with your baby I’m peace.

    ReplyDelete
  34. You need to have a chat with your mum and be patient with her before you start resenting her. If nothing changes, then just take it one day at a time. Do the little that you can and don't stress yourself out.

    ReplyDelete
  35. See your mother age matters in this case. If she is still, young talk to her. If she doesn't if she continues. Be patient. I learnt that there is no situation that is permanent. Bear the stress. There are people out there that their mothers are late and there is no one to help them during omugwu. The still do everything themselves. God is your strength

    ReplyDelete
  36. I wonder who does omugwo for those in the abroad who give birth, I hear they do everything by themselves, quite difficult, but well just pretend your mum aint there and do what you can, let your pikin come first though...good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Eyah,sorry you hear??talk to her and manage her like that,some mothers dont know anything about omugwo

    ReplyDelete
  38. Obviously money is not an issue, madam poster,pls go get a maid, nanny or helper. Stop bothering old folks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think her mum is that old, else she won't have bothered her to come.

      Delete
  39. How could you labelled someone's mum a witch...

    ReplyDelete
  40. The problem is people in Nigeria have too much expectations from their elderly mothers or mom in laws for this omugwo thing. How do people abroad cope? When I was pregnant for my first baby, my dad died very suddenly 2months before I gave birth and was buried 12days after I delivered so would I be expecting a woman who was thrown into widowhood so abruptly to do omugwo? I stayed 3months after having my baby in my parents house but I never for once expected my mom to bath or do anything for me or my baby.
    I did everything myself including cooking for her and my brothers sometimes till I went back to my hubby because I felt so much pity for her and knew she was in serious pains even though she tried act strong for us all. She and my dad were really close and so I did not want to add any stress to her pains. It's not so difficult abeg. Take care of your child and have someone come and do the house cleaning if you can't cope. No need to resent your mum.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Poster, Sit your mother down,Yes!Talk to her,tell her the way you feel. You know your mum better than we do. Has she always been like that? Please don't stress yourself too much, all the chores in your house can never finish in a day.
    Try have some rest when your child is sleeping so that you won't break down.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Are you sure she is not low key angry with you even before coming for the omugwo

    ReplyDelete
  43. Poster you are not over reacting, I understand the way you feel cos I lost my mom the very day I gave birth, she came to help me with my two sons that I left in Nigeria cos their school was still in section, life has never been thisame without her.please speak to her and if she doesn't change, please try and get anyone who can help you, you deserve all the help you can get.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I live in the UK and did it all by myself from childbirth till now that I have the now 6 year old baby sleeping next to me. I saw NOBODY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The same with me. Over here it’s not uncommon to do it alone with your husband. It’s very hard. God was my strength and I slept whenever baby slept.

      Poster, I feel your pain when it comes to the lack of sleep and other chores that are terrible for new mothers. However, I don’t like the entitlement mentality. You shouldn’t expect it from your anyone at all apart from your husband. Parents don’t force us to have children. The best thing is to ASK if you need help but don’t get resentful. Just ask for help holding the baby, leave the baby with her and go to sleep. Go for a walk for 30mins and leave the baby with her. Don’t just expect it. ASK!

      Delete
  45. Unmet expectations are the major reasons for fractured relationships. So, sometimes, we have to let them go to maintain peace and preserve love. I agree with most Bvs. get a help, even if temporarily, maybe for a few months if you can't afford to keep one long term. Those who are good with kids and are trustworthy. This is a great business idea - Omugwo Business for New Moms.

    ReplyDelete
  46. My mom had surgery days before I gave birth and was unable to come and help. Honestly, doing it by myself wasn't so hard. It's a huge learning curve but it isn't rocket science. The hardest thing is the interrupted sleep and to be honest, I wouldn't be able to sleep even if someone else were taking care of my baby at night.

    ReplyDelete
  47. My mum moved in with me after my step dad died. I try as much to take care of her. But she stresses me out. She does not cook, sweep her room or even flush her toilet. I complain about the toilet part cos i cant stand flushing toilet for another person. The latest is that she keeps dirty plates for me as in she does not even borther to take away the plates from the dining table to the kitchen. So i come back from work and clear d dinning and flush her toilet , wash plate before i start dinner. Sometimes i am stressed from work. I work in a bank so u can understand that i dont need another stress.i even beg her to be eating before i come home cos sometimes i go straight to bed after i shower cos i am too tired to enter d kitchen. Though she is getting old i still dont inderstand why she doesnt do some simple things. Meanwhile she watches television all through d day cos we have almost constant light. I am tired o. I started serving her when i was in primary 3 cos she was working. Now that i have my own home i am still serving her. Even when i was small i noticed she does not like house chores cos we used to have a maid. But i am not like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have tried my dear, but you can't force your mother to help when she doesn't want to. Pls try to get extra help if you need to.

      Delete
    2. I don't know if she is doing it on purpose or not.
      But I'm certain if you don't take steps now, the relationship will be completely destroyed at the long run.

      So, I will advise, you either move out or get her a place with a maid.
      Put her on monthly income.
      This is d only way out I see

      Delete
  48. Poster, pls get a maid for the time being.
    Your mom has obviously told you she didn't come for omugo. Just bear with her. When it's time to go, give her omugo benefits. When next you give birth, don't invite her but someone else.
    Just be counting down

    ReplyDelete

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