Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Couch Convo - The Life Of A Baby Daddy....

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Thursday, June 11, 2020

Couch Convo - The Life Of A Baby Daddy....

We have read and heard all about being a baby mama but nobody says anything about what a baby daddy goes through.............







Someone says it would be better to become a father via surrogacy than to have a baby mama because of the things they get up to,especially if the man does not marry them and marries someone else...Sometimes it is better imagined that you have a child than to ever get to see the child or have the child visit you...


Being a baby daddy is not as Rosy as is being made out to look......
Do you agree with this or not.

Please if you are a pained baby daddy,can you tell us why?
This post is not singling out anyone but made so that we can all learn,please do not bring any bitterness or unnecessary drama in here..OK?

81 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. For sure, i actually feel for some of them, the baby mama dey show them pepper.

      Hi choc๐Ÿ˜˜

      Melancholy

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    2. Let me join you here๐Ÿค—
      You care for pop corn?๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿฟ

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    3. Hey boo ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

      Oh yes o @ baby mama showing them pepper so many unpleasant tales .

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    4. Popular Bimbo Ademoye was raised by her father. ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ

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    5. Reading mode activated.....

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    6. My brother was a babydaddy. The girl was a good coolheaded, calm, hardworking girl and we all fought my brother when he refused to marry this sweet girl. My brother just moved on to the next woman without qualms but when she put to bed and he saw the child he started wanting to claim ownership. My mom was quick to remind him that we are Igbos and it is the bride price on a woman's head that entitles a man to be called the father of her children. He remained sturbon. We reminded him that if another man should pay on her head, he has lost the right to that child. He no hear. The day he heard that her suitor was coming for "imego", he flew in from Abuja to cause trouble in the girls fathers compound. Their youths beat him up. He came and started begging umunna to go with him that he is now ready. The girl refused. Long story short, she eventually accepted and he married her. Performed all the rites and court. He doesn't joke with her now.

      This tradition of not marrying a girl you got pregnant is actually new with Igbos. But our men have travelled and learned all sorts and do all sorts. In those days, the worst that will happen is you marry her and eventually marries a 2nd wife if you insist you don't love her.

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    7. Times have changed. You must not marry becos of pregnancy and also dont fornicate to avoid unwanted pregnancy too.

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    8. Wow, I like this Igbo tradition. A man will think twice before impregnating an Igbo lady he has no intention of marrying.

      But does that mean that if Flavour's first baby mama (she's Igbo, right?) should marry someone else, he loses paternal right over his daughters?

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    9. Hey my beautiful TWE ๐Ÿ˜ how are you mama and the family?

      @ TMW yes please share the popcorn ๐Ÿฟ

      @Saphire it's actually a beautiful tradition , I believe personally that people shouldn't be having sex with people they cannot marry and also while it is the idle thing to do child bearing shouldnt be the reason why a man marries a woman .
      A former colleague of mine once told me of a man she met a month after he married his wife and the man was asking her to date him she probed as to why he married his wife if he wasn't ready to commit.
      His response was she already 3 kids for him so he felt the honorable thing to do was wife her , unfortunately he has been in a relationship with another woman for a while .

      I still believe in abstinence it surely saves one a lot of drama .

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    10. Of course flavour paid the bride price of his first babymama but he did not take her to church or court. She is the daughter of Igwe Okagbue and even if flavour is stupid enough not to pay, his kinsmen will do the needful asap or they loose the child. Same thing with Chioma and Davido which is why he calls her wife. Same thing that happened with Tonto Dike and Churchhill that made him claim he only paid but didn't marry her in court or church.

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    11. Saphire abeg forget that Davido side, he hasn't paid kobo. Its a good culture but many ibo people nowadays especially those in cities, lagos abuja don't adhere to it. Im from kogi and there is an Igbo guy i dated, had a beautiful baby boy he loves with his life, the boys mother is also ibo, they never married bcos it didn't work out, he takes 100percent responsibility for his son. The boy is with him every holiday. Both have moved on with their life. There are plenty ibo women dat just want the man to take responsibility, pay the bills. Their not even expecting the guy to marry them, bcos it just didn't work. just takecare of ur child.

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    12. Yes Saphire, you are right. I'm an Igbo baby momma...I remember my dad and other kinsmen having a meeting and asking me if I wanted to wife the baby daddy....of course I said no. Otherwise they would have sent delegates to his side telling his people that he has a child and mandate him to do the honourable thing ....not sure how they proceed if he declines..
      Now married...no contact whatsoever ...No time for drama...too much love to give.

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    13. Lol
      @all of you liking the tradition, hope you know the tradition doesn't stop him from marrying other wives after "blackmailing" him to get married?

      In my own opinion, no one should be coax one way or the other to get married if he or she doesn't want to.. all those stunts of taking the kids from him if he doesn't pay her Bride price might not end well in the long run.. the guy might be forced to marry, then move on to marry a second wife.. the lady gets bitter.. wahala start..

      #DoWhatMakesYouHappyAndGiveYouPeace. As of now, maybe I might change later.. but right now.. I Don't See Myself Getting Married..

      Night

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    14. 18.24, if you had a girl, her husband in the future will pay bride price to your family and not the biological father because in our eyes, he is a donor and not a father just like Regina Daniels. Her bride price was paid to her maternal family and her biological father completely ignored because he never paid on Ragina's mother.

      17.47 you are right. Travels and mixing up with other cultures has taught many that they have other options even the women now decline marriage proposals from babydaddies which was unheard of b4. In those days she will be bundled to his house by fire by force if she is already pregnant or has his baby.

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  2. The easy way out of all these baby daddy and baby mama drama? Abstinence from premarital and extramarital sex? It's that simple ๐Ÿ‘Œ

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    Replies
    1. See how ignorant you are.
      Do you know some men & few women consciously seek to be a single parent?

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    2. Gbam! Eesah. It saves one of so many headaches and stories.

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    3. Then those aren't the one he is obviously talking about anon 13:27.

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    4. ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

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    5. Common sense not very common. This post is not seeking advice neither is it for women. Stick with d topic ๐Ÿงง๐Ÿงง๐Ÿงง

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    6. 13:56, that my post is peppering you for body for no reason shows who has common sense between you and l

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    7. Why is this your message peppering some people? ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

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    8. @Eesa
      Clear message like the clear blue sky. ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️

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    9. Exactly @ Eesa, to avoid stories that touches the heart. Stay off sex until you are ready to take responsibility

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    10. Stella will make a post for men and we ladies go still flock every where dey talk pass the victims๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ odiegwu

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  3. My would be sister-in-law just ditched my brother-in-law after he's done the introduction and fixed a date for the wedding . They dated for almost 6years. Over a year ago, dude went and had a 'by the side baby'. Confessed to the fiancee, she cried and took him back. Dude was happy and decided to rush the wedding. Unbeknownst to the fiancee who gave a condition that the child would never be made to live with them, guy was plotting to bring his son in after the wedding because by then he would have'tied her down with marriage'. Fiancee suddenly work up one day and said she no dey do again. My in-laws are devastated, sending people to beg her. See all of them wearing sad face as if they'll allow their own sister enter that mess. Wish I could invite the girl to a bottle of wine to celebrate her jumping over rubbish! I'm here just minding my own business

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    Replies
    1. This is what I don't like. he was hoping to tie her down in marriage then bring the boy in even though that wasn't the plan? How about he gets married to someone who would readily be comfortable in accepting the boy stay with them instead of committing fraud in place of marriage. Why go intermarriage with deceit? This is why most marriages fail. She was smart to run. I hate deceit. All those who think they will hide one thing or the other and trap anyone in marriage only to reveal every little secret later are jokers.

      My Friend is a baby daddy and the lady said if he doesn't marry her he won't see his child in the future. He does every single thing as a father but the lady wants marriage. They had s*x three days after agreeing to be lovers and she got pregnant immediately so they didn't even get to know each other behaviour well before bringing a baby into the picture. Their boy is right and he does everything I mean for the child but he doesn't want marriage with the mother for so many reasons he counted.

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    2. ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿฅ‚very smart gal

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    3. I'm so proud of her even though I'll never tell her(before they'll use me in their family meeting). I only let her know shenshe should not tolerate now what she cannot tolerate in marriage (cheating). I was even surprised she accepted him back in the first place. Though my brother in-law is a very good brother, uncle, son and friend. I doubted if he would make a faithful husband. Any woman that does not mind a cheating partner would enjoy him. I can't recommend him to someone I love and care about

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    4. Why would the guy take the child away from her own mother though? She made the best decision ever.

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    5. Good for her, i celebrate with you, let's make a toast shall we๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿฅ‚?
      She outsmarted him!

      Melancholy

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    6. Please, my fiance intends to bring his 2 sons from his previous marriage after we are married. I accepted but I hope it won't be a problem to me.

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    7. Mrs E I'm happy you do not support rubbish.
      The lady did the right thing , I detest any form of deciet see the family trying to persuade her , if the reverse was the case would they have done same ?
      I always tell my brothers if they wanna mistreat their spouse they should remember they wouldn't like same for their sisters and vice versa .
      I detest family memebers that are enablers of evil.

      @15:51 how old are the sons ? And is their mother in agreement with this decision ?
      Whats the present living arrangement , have you ever spent time with them and what's their mother's attitude like ?
      Are you also willing to accept and treat them as your own children ?
      It's not such a big deal if the answers to my question are positively affirmative but just be careful against people that plant seed of disunity and discord.
      Be sure there is mutual understanding and agreement to avoid stories that touch and future regrets .

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    8. Hmmmm If their mother is still alive let them stay with their mum but they can visit but living with you hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmay God help you @anonymous 15:51

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    9. Show the sons the same love you show their father and there wont be any problem. Most importantly, don't be biased in your judgement based on things you hear about other families, your family is different and all matters should be dealt with objectively and with love.

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    10. Anonymous, are you sure you can handle this. Pls discuss with your fiance and agree whether the sons will stay with their mum or with you.

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  4. Whereas a man has to be proven to be the babydaddy via DNA, a woman's baby is stuck to her. The man is all in for fornication anytime, any day but not for daddy duties.
    It is left for the woman to know that sharing cookies to men is not the way to get married.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Message as clear as the blue sky above ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️

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  5. Which is better? A car that you are riding as hire purchase? Or A car that is your own?

    Most people are just scared of what they don't understand..

    You can sit your wife down and explain to her that your budget for the month is 20k or 30k etc;she should know how to manage with you..
    Can you do same with a Baby Mama?

    There is a big difference between "MY OWN" and "OUR OWN".(NKEM and NKE ANYI)..

    You can't call your wife to order when she err;same can't be said about the other..

    You cant validate what you don't have..

    A Baby Mama is more expensive to be kept when compared to a wife;it all depends on when you realize..

    @MARTINS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Martin's, individuals differ.
      It's all down to their ideology & perception.
      You are wrong.

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    2. Hi @Macbeth;I am emphasizing on the topic on this post only please..

      I have friends and Biz Client that are Baby Mama/Papas and I totally have nothing against them..
      it's all a choice and none of my Biz either..

      #Cheers

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    3. I am a BBM . Happily raising my child alone without the headache of marriage et all. He loves his son and checks up on him on regular, not all men are father's, he is not. Hip-hop won't allow him be a responsible father, he loves his son and that is just ok by me at 53yrs and with a child, I am fufilled in doing both daddy and Mummy duty ๐ŸŒถ️

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    4. You are very correct. Baby mama is a financial burden. Some use the children to blackmail the baby daddy.

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    5. Martin's, real Nigerian, twisters

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    6. Some of them are expensive to maintain, I agree with you Martin.

      The best thing to do is abstinence. Close your legs like mermaid to avoid bringing unplanned kids to this sinful world to suffer.

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    7. Except that it is planned, i do not advice all these baby mama , papa things.

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  6. Baby mamas are known and they know, but babydaddies are unknown
    until proven otherwise ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿป‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

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  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  8. No matter how difficult being a baby daddy is, it's nothing compared to being a baby mama... . It's a man's world after all.

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    Replies
    1. Plain truth.
      The mama does the heavy lifting.

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    2. True. Many baby daddies abscond. They show up when the child becomes an adult or when they get married and are unable to have children with their wives.

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  9. being a baby daddy is still better than being a baby mama no matter the pain and insults.

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  10. Being a baby daddy, depends on the individuals involved. I know about a baby daddy, single, who is raising his kid alone. Baby mama dumped the kid with him, and took off. It's not easy, but he's doing the best he can. I think we should also applaud baby daddies raising kids on their own.

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    Replies
    1. without molesting them abi... Just to complete your last sentence.

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  11. Some guys are wired like that... They don't want commitment and want to enjoy their freedom...

    My former neighbour does not fail to tell anyone who cares to listen that he wants to be a baby daddy....
    He prefers to take care of the baby instead of getting married because to him marriage is a burden...

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  12. My dear shebi baby daddy problem be say he no bring money or he isn't in the childs life. Baby mamas can be hell to deal with. Not all but most. The ones that still pay attention to the children or child, the mamas just do all to make life horrible for him. Best best, don't impregnate a woman u can't see yourself marry. My brother walked with eyes wide open into this. He hear am even though he takes care of the child. Swear, curses and insults was the order for years. This is from a woman who told me she didn't love my brother neither did she want to marry him. She said it was just an affair and if she hadn't gotten pregnant, they won't have anything to do with each other. Then she later changed her mind and said she wanted marriage. As marriage no show now, wahala.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She changed her mind because a child is involved. Being a baby mama is not easy in Nigeria. Apart from the financial aspect, chances of getting a good man who'll marry her and her child when baby daddy is alive is quite low.

      I advise men not to sleep with a woman they can't marry. You can't ruin someone's daughter's life like that. That she's not marriageable in your eyes does not mean she's not marriageable in another man's eyes. Leave her alone. But no, they think they are smart.

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    2. Thank you anon same thing i typed @ not to sleep with who they cannot marry .

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    3. Anonymous, in addition to what you said, l think before a guy sleeps with a woman he should make some commitment to the lady concerned by making the relationship official and both parents should know about it...in case if anything happens.

      Delete
  13. Not all guys plan to be baby daddies, reason why i advice to sleep with only a person that you can marry.

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  14. While I was in the university, my neighbour do say he prefer having a Baby mama than marriage.
    He at a point was trying to sell the idea to me, but I know myself I can't leave my child for anyone to train.
    My cousin is a BM. Mehn the stress is Much.
    Baby daddy kidnapped the boy in the guise of visiting for Months. Took money and legal threat to get him back.
    Ever since. Its been only her and the child.
    The only sad side most suitors pull out when she mentions her son.
    He would be 7years.
    Her baby daddy proposed last year, she turned it down said she rather be single than to tolerate what he puts her through

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  15. to me tho, from what I have seen, lots of men/women would make a great parent(s), but very few would make great wives/husbands. Hence why there’s so much split resulting to the baby mama/daddy thing.
    If a person chooses to be a baby daddy/mama, it’s not a bad decision.... not everyone wants to be married. But lots of people want kids. Surrogacy isn’t that easy cause most applicants are really choosy.
    I have met quite a lot of great baby daddies who are doing good with their baby mama even as they aren’t together.
    Just pray who you are with/dating as a single man is someone reasonable and compassionate. Some women don’t have the fear of God in them anymore and wouldn’t mind destroying one’s life.
    Also it’s quite sad that people put the major parenting on the woman alone. Some men underestimate the importance of their presence in their kid’s life. Id just suggest men do more than just drop money for the upkeep of their kids. Help out your baby mama and take the kids off her too once in a while without her always asking or begging...so she can go have some fun for herself. So you want to be the one living a single life while she’s being a mom and a housewife without husband.

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  16. My boyfriend has a 6 year old daughter.He impregnated his then gf when he was 23.The child stays with her mum and he takes care of her finances.He is really serious with me and he is ready to settle down but i'v been stalling.The baby mama is yet to get married and a part of me feel for her.The 3 of us are from the same hometown and tongues will wag.Not that he refused to marry her because of me.He has been in other serious relationships that didn't work out after he became a father.I really like him as he has been nothing but good to me.
    Any advice from people married to baby daddys?

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  17. my baby daddy is a nice guy,he takes care of his son.No unnecessary drama for now,My fear is when he eventually marries his fiance things may not remain the same.It all boils down to the "person" involved

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  18. If you want to be a baby daddy, make sure the woman wants to be a baby mama. You can't impregnate a woman who dreams of her own wedding and family and all of a sudden say you don't want marriage.

    Same goes for you women. Don't agree to be a baby mama with the man only to turn 360 and make him a demon for not marrying you. That's unfair.

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  19. It's sad that the devil has made a beautiful thing like marriage seem so bad that people willingly commit fornication to have kids or choose IVF or surrogacy to have children outside marriage.

    The devil is really attacking families.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmm....are you saying it is a sin for a 45yr old unmarried woman to have children via IVF or surrogacy, considering that the sperm was gotten from a donor?

      Delete
    2. It’s quite sad.
      Marriage is a really beautiful thing.
      It’s sad not everyone is gonna get lucky with it.

      Delete
    3. @ sweet aproko, one of the benefits of marriage is raising children within that unit. God ordained marriage so that children can be brought up within that secure unit.

      Because the devil is attacking families, marriage is appearing like a less than favorable option.

      For a 45 year old unmarried woman to seek this option means she never found a man she could get married to possibly because she was jilted or most men don't want marriage. This scenario is a by-product of the attack on families.

      Delete
  20. Pls what abt a married woman that decided to carry Belle for her ex whose wife couldn't concieve.what are we going to call thisone.The lady is my sis inlaw..she dated this her ex but left him and married someone else..she has a son for her hubby.The ex later got married but wife is ttcing.i don't no how he convinced dis my sis inlaw to born for him.she agreed,took in,belly dey 3months she lied yo her hubby say she get addmission for unilag,before u no wetin dey happen she don land lag.she arrange with one of her bro who's staying in lag.shes staying with him.apparently d said bro is aware of d plan.The man paid them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why are people so evil and greedy like this?
      How much can equate life and happiness?
      Such deciet , posterity would judge her .

      Delete
    2. This is too bad, a married woman for that. How long will she cover it up. I don't know how some people sleep at night.

      Delete
    3. Seems she's doing it for the money.

      I'm not sure her hubby will take her back like dis oh

      Delete

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