Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Couch Convo - Dream Killers As Friends Or Spouse's

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Thursday, July 30, 2020

Couch Convo - Dream Killers As Friends Or Spouse's

Some people are dream killers.............





Some people are married to dream killers and some have them as friends...
Dreams killers never see anything good in what you do or in anything good happening to you...All they do is criticise and try to get you to change your mind and not take that step out of your comfort zone...


Dream killers talk you down and walk you out of your dream...
They kill your self confidence and try to make you dependent on their advice..

Having a dream killer as a spouse or as a friend or sibling is like a nightmare...

A dream killer kills your career path,kills your self esteem,talks down on your love life and tells you everything is impossible...

Are you on this table?who is the dream killer in your life?








44 comments:

  1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ None that i can think of now

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. Stella, many people term anyone who tries to open their eyes to the pros and cons of whatever idea they are discussing as dream killers. They just want you to concur with their ideas. A good friend or spouse should be able to criticize constructively any idea on the table. They are not yes people na. Let's be clear on the difference!

      Delete
  3. Let me go Anon. My mother's married to one. Before she got married, madam had things to her name. 2 plots of land, a booming restaurant and a wonderful life.

    Uncle came, ruined her life, sold the plots of land and emptied her account. Doesn't support her in any way. Well he came back after flexing the money. Leave na, my mum says no. That she has daughters, no man would want to marry a divorce's daughter. I keep telling her It's not like that. A man that will marry you, will definitely marry you, wether your mom is a divorcee or not!

    Tired of talking to her. 🚢

    ReplyDelete
  4. I used to have one as a boyfriend.
    MF was trying to talk me out of my career that he has something better for me...but wouldn’t give me the better job unless I marry him and give him a child first. Someone that calls himself my bf giving conditions.
    It wasn’t like I was complaining about my job, he was the insecure one bc of the nature of my job. Job that I toiled and did trainings to move ahead...he talked down on it like it was a two days course I did.
    Good riddance.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Once had someone that we were working towards starting a relationship together - we were still in the working progress, but I noticed he was so insecured about my career and the vision's I have regarding it. He sees no big deal in my achievements ( he was always like what's special about that - never encouraging).

    Moreso, anytime we are having a decent conversation and I try to chip in my views he disagrees and feels I am using my career sentiment to air my views.

    I dropped him like bad habit. Don't come and kill my dreams with your negative vibes. I bet he couldn't just handle that I was aiming way too high for SUCCESS.

    I am getting there soon so help me God.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most men are like that

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    2. Anyone who behaves that way is truly a dream killer

      Avoid insecure or envious men

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  6. The truth is just that most men including parents tend to be a dream killers. You will tell them about a plan you have and the next thing they will do is to start bad mouthing the plan,discouraging and making it seem like you are just wasting your time in trying to actualize that dream. The best bet is to stay motivated yourself and not wait for any man to support you. If the support comes, it's fine and if it doesn't,you won't feel bad.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dream killers are everywhere not only in relationships but as friends and family. I dated one. I saw him for who he was when I realised he was trying to stop me from achieving my goals. I guess he knew he couldn't match up so he tried to pull me down to his level of achievement. Just two months relationship he was forcing me to get married. I was rounding up my Master's program abroad and thinking of furthering but he advised against it. I thought he was joking until he said no man would want to marry me because I will be in my late twenties by the time I rounded up the PhD program. He told me I won't see any husband marry at that age. So I told him when he gives birth to his daughters in the future he shouldn't send them to school while their mates are breaking new grounds in their various fields. I told him to not give them an education just because if feels they won't see husband marry. Since that was his belief. Anyways, his reasoning alone disgusted me to think he was so archaic and believes ladies around that age were less desirable for marriage. He later confessed he was scared to lose me because I am beautiful and a virgin ( I told him he was my first boyfriend so that was how he found out). So he decided to scare me. He told me to come back to Nigeria and marry him immediately( I knew him before I left the country). I told him I had no career plan in place in Nigeria so there was no how I would get a job when I return besides I already had a good job where I was at the time, so the only logical thing was to keep improving myself and my career prospects. He said he was fine with me being a full-time housewife forever and I should just come back. Imagine a Master's degree holder at the time just being a housewife. That was when I saw he was a destiny destroyer and I promised I would never let him destroy mine. When he saw I wasn't moved one bit with his fake threats of me not getting married on time and his crocodile tears. He had no choice but to confess he was scared of losing me to another man that I needed to come back and he pleaded for two years on the phone after I broke up with him, till I blocked him( he always used another line to call). So because you didn't want to lose me to another person you decided to put unreasonable fear in my mind, talking about me single and old( which is not a portion, obviously). If I had married him, I will be a nobody because he would never let me grow. He would keep me in the house out of fear of me leaving him behind. To think men are still rushing me till date and I am happily engaged in my thirties despite what he said. I am happy I ran from him. Since we weren't in the same country it was easy. I blocked him everywhere till I changed my line.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
      Lovely...

      Congratulations in advance dear

      Delete
    2. Thank God you left him, please keep pressing forward

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    3. congrats Isabella
      Some men cant deal with a successful woman,they feel threatened.

      Delete
    4. When I was about to leave the country for my masters program, one airport/flight security man at the MM airport Lagos, after checking my passport and seeing my age (26)
      Security: Wetin you dey go do?
      Me: Masters program..
      Security: You don marry?
      Me: No..
      Security: Hmmm and you dey go do masters. Make sure you marry oh...and more & more about marriage
      I don't mind the advice, but the fact that no congratulations for the masters sef shows his advice is not from the heart. He was probably intimidated by my credentials, confidence and school I was going to that he just wanted to voice a subtle reminder. Oh well, you ain't married. If you achieve all these and not married you're nothing. It's sad that many Nigerians reason like this. I know many women who gave up their masters admission and opportunity abroad for boyfriends (not hubby o). But haven't seen any man who did same for his girlfriend.

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    5. Good you took the right decision just when it mattered most.

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    6. When I was traveling out for my master's degree some years ago, my boyfriend's (now husband) father told him to tell me to choose between our relationship and the degree. He didn't tell me about this conversation with his father until much later. If he had told me, I would have speedily told him to go away. I don't have time for nonsense. Anyway, according to my husband, his mother called him behind his father's back and told him not to follow that advise but should instead work towards traveling out to also get his master's degree. Case closed o. Today we are both master's degree holders from prestigious institutions outside the country and we eventually got married. The degrees we obtained have opened doors of opportunities to us that would otherwise have remained closed. To men and women, please dare to dream and also support the people in your lives to achieve their dreams. The world would be better for it. The technological advancements we enjoy in our generation is because some people dared to dream, worked to achieve their dreams and were supported along their way.

      Delete
  8. I have always loved business and I enjoy working also.
    My ex in school and my dad discouraged me from doing business in school even though I was making profit then.
    I know if I had continued, I would soar in it.
    I currently work as a customer service rep in the banking sector,i also sell litres of soups,make small chops/food on order,sell and make wigs as a side hustle.
    My younger sis has been in Dubai since March and of recent,has been selling stuffs online.
    I ordered and put on my status and my so called office friends didnt patronize me even though I know they buy those stuffs(hair,bags,phones,selfie rings e.t.c)regularly from online vendors.
    one of them told me she likes the hair I was rocking and I told her that didnt you see it on my status?
    she said is it everything I want to be selling,na wa and walked away.
    some will ask me price and say I should sell at cost price after all we are friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your so called colleagues!!!No wonder they didn't buy!!! Look at the reply you gave a potential customer, you think it's evryone that can remember what they viewed on status??? Why didn't you explain nicely and give her a price instead of walking away!!!
      Continue walking away, because you will end up wearing all the wigs instead of selling out.

      See you are the one killing your own business abeg

      Call me πŸ€™

      Delete
    2. God will locate you with good customers they will patronize youπŸ™πŸ™

      Delete
    3. call me,she was the one that walked away not me oh.she said na wa and is it everything I want to be selling and walked away.they are my office friends not just colleague.

      Delete
    4. Uzu Anuli sorry for the misunderstanding.

      May potential customers locate you.

      Call me πŸ€™

      Delete
  9. This is why anything someone tell me I accept it and wish them well and keep it moving. If they succeed or fail is their own life journey, even if I see death on the road I keep my thoughts to myself, because if you warn them they say you are jealous or a dream killer. Let each person do as they desire whatever the outcome may be.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hmmm..this one is deep but I don’t know if my story falls in this category.Everytime my wife knows I have money,she devices ways to make sure I spend it all and go back to being broke.i don’t know if it’s insecurity(I’m a very cute guy and I’m not bragging) but it’s really affecting me.When we both have money,shel spend hers on designer bags and not support the family while I spend mine for bills.i don’t know how to go about this anymore cos I have tried to talk to her several times but she won’t change and we are in the abroad.i have thought about leaving her several times but my kids won’t let me.This singular issue has stopped me from having enough savings and it hurts deeply.im very confused to be honest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oga I am also confused for you. What kind of spouse is this? Maybe you can both take a course in family finance?

      Delete
    2. Keep your finances away from her and start saving. The money is in yours hands and not her's so you alone can decide how u spend it.

      Delete
    3. Then you start being secretive with your finances.

      Delete
  11. Truth like the noonday sun. 🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️
    And if you are the dream killer,
    do not forget to tell us how many dreamers
    and dreams you have killed.
    🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️🀸🏻‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
  12. None..
    Reading mode activated🍻🍾

    ReplyDelete
  13. My only sis was married to one,there was almost nothing he didn't do to her. An abuser, both physically and mentally. She was a masters degree holder before she married this Tweed. Won't let her get a job, even when she apllied n was called for interview, that d day he would give her black eyes. She didn't have a bank account to her name, didn't want friends. She tried selling kiddies clothes, oga would rather let the kids get stuck in school the day she travels to get her goods. Is it the baking my sibling paid for her to learn, we practically fought the hubby to let her learn. Afterward he would frustrate d living daylight out of her.
    One good day, just cause they had a slight argument, he turned off the oven while baking n spoilt a cake she was baking. In fact story is long, I was just praying for her
    Now she's happily divorced, has a very thick account to her name, just paid for her car, got a good federal job. Dear sis, am proud of you, miserable ex hubby came back begging, my mum walked him out. He's still single,awon!"there are many fishes in d river, dude might be catch crayfish" worse part is his friends have been mocking him, as they can see the rapid growth my sis achieved.
    If u are married to a dream killer, the earlier u leave the better for u and ur kids. So u can start u life all over

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wow,congrats to your sis,may she keep soaring.

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    2. I'm happy for your sister, she will keeping soaring high πŸ™

      Delete
    3. Who trained these kind of men.?

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    4. Lol @ maybe he would catch crayfish. That soap in today's IHN is for him.

      Delete
    5. Olomo

      Their insecurities and the devil

      Delete
    6. I am happy for her, she is my friend...the day she told me what she went through I wept and begged her not to accept him back...because he called her when she came visiting begging her to give me the phone.

      Delete
  14. I'm married to one. Thinking of how to ditch him. Since I married him no progress.

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  15. Just so many things to say..☹️

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  16. I have for onece never thought of being a full time house wife . I was working before marriage and have being supportive to my parents and siblings. After marriage husband said he wants to be a pastor in a ministry that do not allow their pastors wives to work I refused but he went ahead and applied and he is now a pastor. I don't Want the responsibilities that comes with being a pastors wife. I love God and was active in church before this development. I have refused to attend the branch of church where he pastors but I attend another branch. Like am I a dream killer? What about my own dreams and aspirations before I married him? We discussed this before marriage and he said he wasnt called into ministry but to serve God in any capacity as a member. Plsss help me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pray and ask the Lord how to navigate through this. There are two sides to a coin. He needs to support you and you need to support him. Remember God says he who does not provide for his family is worse than an infidel. Is he able to take care of his home and family? Pray pls. God will show you what to do.

      Delete
  17. My dad and ex was my dream killer. I wanted to be a pilot at that time the school wasn't that expensive as at then but my dad found ways to discourage me. Even my siblings were affected by his lazy decisions and to top it off,stingy even to us. I had to physically and mentally break off that chain...I literally stopped listening to him and it paid off.

    My ex reduced my efforts and achievements even my brain cells joined. I started thinking and acting like him. I even did things for him on a very good day, l considered demeaning. The day I removed him from my life...everything changed. Will never make that mistake again

    ReplyDelete
  18. My mother and family were dream killers. I wanted to go abroad she discouraged me, but had the guts to advise my neighbors to send their kids to Canada.
    I’ve realized it is vital to cut off such people if you wanna grow.

    ReplyDelete

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