She eventually opened up to me that she has been enduring domestic violence in her marriage for the past 10 years and has just finally got the nerves to move out. This courage came after a near death experience she had when her husband beat her and she ended up spending a week in the hospital.
She said for the first time, she was able to hit him back and it turned very bloody as they injured themselves with every available object. What was even more traumatic for her was that all these happened in front of the kids and unfortunately, she is pregnant with their third child.
She sought my advice after narrating her ordeal and I really felt for her. I have heard and read so many stories about domestic violence and they often say that the make up s*x is the bomb. Hmmm.... Could this be why she got pregnant again? As usual, the guy always comes back begging and promising never to hit her again blaming it all on the devil.
She sought my advice after narrating her ordeal and I really felt for her. I have heard and read so many stories about domestic violence and they often say that the make up s*x is the bomb. Hmmm.... Could this be why she got pregnant again? As usual, the guy always comes back begging and promising never to hit her again blaming it all on the devil.
She said she grew up seeing her father physically abuse her mother and now they are separated. Her father was manipulative and didn’t allow her mum to pursue her dreams. She vowed never to allow such to happen to her but somehow, she is in the same shoes as her mum now.
She said out of all the guys she dated before she married, it was only later she discovered that she drove away all the good ones and ended up with the one that is just like her father. He stopped her from her career path and made her a stay at home mum when he discovered that she was making so much more than him.
He is jealous and believed also that men would snatch her away from him in the corporate circles. Though he didn’t hit her when they were dating, he had manipulative and domineering tendencies with a bad temper combined with some level of sweetness and cool headedness.
Now, I am beginning to wonder. How do people fall in love with the character they detest the most? Is this thing spiritual? I still remember my friend who hated his father so much for beating his mum yet he is divorced today because he did the same thing to his wife.
The stories one hears as an Uber driver eh can fill up a complete shelf if i decide to write books....Abi make i become writer sef? *side eyes*
You becoming a writer is up to you. As for the issue at hand, children are always the victim.
ReplyDeleteWhat do guys drives from beating em partners.
ReplyDeleteHmmm! This is an interesting read
ReplyDeleteI would like to know the answer to your question too. While growing up I so much hated men from my tribe and and said I will never marry from my tribe... guess where my husband is from?
ReplyDeleteFrom your tribe 🤭
DeleteHmmm..when I was young my mum was cheating on my dad,I vowed never to cheat ony hubby when I marry..infact I begged God never to put me in such situation but it still d same old shiii 😭😭
DeleteHian! Anon 18:57, tell me that's a joke. You're cheating on your hubby? Is it intentional? I don't understand. Please throw more light 🤔
DeleteI pray she finally gets the nerves to move out..... .
ReplyDeleteI pray so too.
DeleteI hope he doesn't manipulate her to going back to him.
Its baffling really but it happens, blood is so strong, most people find themselves behaving like their parents, doing that horrible thing they detest, it is a nightmare
ReplyDeleteGod help us
Gifty u are so right..there's this bar trait in my mum I so hated back then..when u tell my mum something Asin u gisted her abt what happened to someone somewhere (she doesn't know the person o) if she wants to gist someone else, she'll say it as if she's an eye witness.attimes she'll even forget that u were d one that downloaded d gist to her and she'll be registing u d gist..Kai it was so annoying and I hated it but today I find myself doing same thing.
Deletebring it on👂
ReplyDeleteApple doesn't fall far from.the tree, we end up mimicking and making decisions like our parents did.
ReplyDeleteIt's a vicious circle some hardly escape it 🦋
This is so weird! How do you allow someone turn you into a punching bag?
ReplyDeleteOnly weak men raise their hands on women. Ive noticed that such men hardly stand up to their fellow men in any form of combat. Real men don't hit women.
ReplyDeleteWomen with low self-esteem and no self love, are the ones that will put up with such weak men. No matter how well you advice them, they will never leave such men. Sadly, it always ends terribly for them; when life is snuffed out of them.
I feel the the woman. I pray help comes to her.❤️❤️
Yes, it is spiritual oko ashawo and I will explain.
ReplyDeleteIf you read Exodus 1:15-21, you will discover that
the Hebrew midwives who spared the male kids at the
delivery stool in defiance of Pharaoh were honored by God for their
kindness to those kids; How?
God "gave them families of their own." Read it and see.
So when people kill kids (in their wombs), they can end up with the
kind of man that beats them to stupo or to death like described here.
Yes, they are married but they don't have "a family of their own."
What they have is a man ready to kill them just like it is stated in
Genesis 9:6 -that anyone who sheds the blood of humans, another human
will shed their blood because God made man in his own image.
Read it and see. You know why they keep escaping deaths? God is giving them
chances to repent, mourn those kids they killed and live abundant lives in Christ.
I may not have the time to tell the stories of women I met who told me their stories.
😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
Are you for real? So every victim of domestic violence was a wayward person who has committed an abortion?! Are you for real?!
DeleteFor your info, there are christian ladies who lived straight forward lives but sadly had bad marriages where their husbands turned out to be violent.
All these self righteous, judgemental things you post here eh, may life not humble you o.
It's your type that will accuse mature single women and married women searching for the fruit of the womb of being wayward and abortionists during their younger years.
Wait o so you mean every woman that goes through domestic violence has commited abortion or formication???? Wonderful!!! It is self righteous people like you that drive honest hearted people away from God. How can you blame your fellow woman as the cause of DV? I've seen people who got married as virgins go through DV. Stop blaming victims and stop painting God as wicked!!! Bible even said we shouldn't be righteous too much.
DeleteWait what?
DeleteIn your BIAS, all of you above, you failed to see the word "CAN"
DeleteLet me paste those words again;
So when people kill kids (in their wombs), they CAN end up with the
kind of man that beats them to stupo or to death like described here.
There are many reasons why someone end up in such marriages, I only provided
my opinion/answer to what the poster asked; "IF IT IS SPIRITUAL?"
I do not doubt any of your experiences. But please, why do you always doubt
mine. I have met women who this was their cases and I stated that.
Read well and do not read with bias. 📢📢📢📢📢📢📢📢📢📢📢📢
And none of you made any effort to refute the word of God I quoted above,
even with another Scripture?
Please do well to read Ecc7:16&17 it will really help you. Stop assuming the role of Jesus Christ and start judging your fellow women. So you mean to tell me that men that are married to women with not so nice character have commited what? Life itself is a mystery that is why sometimes bad things happen to good people. So instead of you to assume the position of a judge pray that no matter what comes your wat as a christian you'll be able to cope. The bible itself points to the fact that we are already in the end so bad things happen to people. If you can help please do and if you feel you wanna judge kindly read the cited scriptures above. Meanwhile stop hating on women and painting them as bad. Thank you
DeleteEccl. 7:16 Do not be overly righteous, and do not make yourself too wise.
DeleteWhy should you destroy yourself? 17Do not be excessively wicked, and do not be a fool.
Why should you die before your time?…
Yes, I had to copy it and paste. I am a Scripture enthusiast. I always look forward to learn
something new from others. How did I present myself as overly righteous or too wise?
I quoted God's Word and is that what you call it.
Let me give you the substance of what you cited up there;
James 3:14But if you harbor bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts,
do not boast in it or deny the truth. 15Such wisdom does not come from above,
but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, t
here will be disorder and every evil practice.…
Did you see that wisdom can be demonic -of the devil? That is the wisdom that destroys.
It destroyed Lucifer and he became the devil.
@Vermillion
DeleteThe "hatred for women and painting them as bad" is only a figment of your
imagination because I do not have anything like that in my heart.
I only answered the question Oko Ashawo asked; is it spiritual?
Why not give your own answer too?
Orisirisi, lol.
DeleteSo what is the correlation between James 3:14 you quoted and the statement you made? Continue judging you hear? Continue turning the bible upside down because you're the 'only' reader of the bible. As for your statement that your hatred for women is a figment of my imagination shebi you'll still do the same thing again? Criticizing only women when it'sa clear case of the woman and man that is at fault. Keep on being excessively righteous and continue making yourself too wise. You hear? Finally even if you reply me I won't come back to this post to read so peace be unto you
DeleteYour idiocy is a whole new level.
DeleteSo everyone in an abusive marriage must have had abortions.
You must be an abusive person in real life. If you were God, nobody would enter heaven.
Jeez anon... I stopped reading your comments halfway. You are biblically confused.
DeleteIt will be an interesting book.
ReplyDeleteTo those going through DV, please walk away. Save your kids a lifelong trauma.
Stella, this your Uber driver is a very gross misogynist. He parades himself as a neutral savior but is The biggest threat to Nigerian women . He manages to make everything about sex. How can you relate domestic violence with"bomb makeup sex".
ReplyDeletePlease retire this segment and find more uplighting writers. I love your blog but this taxi driver is not it.
Anon abeg carry ur grammar go yansh down somewhere.seems like u are a woman beater.if u don't like the segment,don't open d post na abi na by force.
DeleteOga driver abeg no mind this anon,dey bring ur gist come our compound,we dey enjoy am.🤸🤸😜
Anon 14:32
DeleteWhy not use your real ID to make this your misogynistic comment?
Secondly, why not start your pen comment? Retiree
Then send in your own writeups! Don't be quick to be dismissive- what u like might just be boring to some other folks. Let's learn to be tolerant
DeleteStart your *own segment*
DeleteI will go anonymous on this one. I walked out of DV without a means of income with my 2 children. We are in a better place now. He isn't. The evil men do lives to haunt them. No woman should stay in an abusive marriage. Please muster the courage to leave. Your children need you alive.
ReplyDelete😘🤗
DeleteWhat I still can’t wrap my head around is women giving up their career, not because they want to but because their husband dictates so. That I can never ever understand. It’s different if you do it because you want to but to do it because someone else demands that you do so...hehehe. Anyways, to each their own.
ReplyDeleteAs for domestic violence or any type of abuse, I feel for people going through it. Sometimes, the damage thereafter lasts for a really long time. Affects all areas of the person’s life. Very heartbreaking.
Poster, publish your write up as a diary/journal.
I have to go anonymous on this one. I am a guy and I am ashamed to admit that I beat up my girlfriends.
ReplyDeleteI need help. What can I do? I don't know what comes over me all the time and I always regret it 🤦🏿♂️
My next door neighbor also beats his girlfriend.the said gf happens to be my friend.sonetimes she'll deny that she had an accident when I real life na beating she received.i don talk tire but she'll be defending him..that it was her fault.one day she even told me she intentionally provoke him to heat her cos the makeup gbensh na fire.
DeleteThis make up gbensh thing. Na wah. .. and someone up there thinks that Oko Ashawo is making it up. I have read similar things on this blog as well.
DeleteNobody deserves to be in a relationship where domestic violence exists. It's really sad... Many ladies will not hear word. They think that if they leave the man, no other man will desire them. I wonder if the men manipulate them into believing that there's no other person out there for them
@17:25, girlfriend beater
DeleteWhat to do?
Give your life to Christ and stay off those fornicating partners
you call girlfriends. Jesus will give you life in abundance and
the person you will marry that will give you peace of mind.
Too! to each his own!!!
ReplyDeleteOnce there is DV, I check out. I'm out. Ce fini.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, I think that some people display the same characteristics they abhor because it is what they've been mentally wired to accept. It's all they know. It's not spiritual. It's psychological. I said some people because I know that there are those who have consciously decided to live the exact opposite of that lifestyle and they're doing it successfully.