Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Big Bold And Beautiful Lady Talks About The Nightmare She Suffered Because Of Her Size

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Monday, September 14, 2020

Big Bold And Beautiful Lady Talks About The Nightmare She Suffered Because Of Her Size

She called names imagined and even bullied but she came out a winner and says she is telling her story to encourage anyone going through what she went through....................


OMG!!!!







My name is Oluwaremilekun Fatolu, but popularly known as Auntie Remi,some call me OROBO. hmmm...

yes Orobo!! 

Sounds funny right? 

Its not been an easy journey getting to where I am today especially mentally. 

Being addressed by such names. As orobo, apapu and iya apati caused a lot of damage to my life! I however thank God I fought thru.


I was born early 90’s.Had my junior secondary school in asaba where I was born, and my senior secondary school in lagos (3 different schools) hmmm, I'm sure you are wondering why. I wasn't a dull young girl,I was very very intelligent! Yes, like most people, I never liked mathematics, but I was the best in English! I was very good communicating and interacting with people even at my age then. 


My travails started when I was in primary 6 as I was growing rapidly. 
 note that my growth in size wasn't due to excess food intake but I opine that it appears God created me that way.
I couldn't blame him, neither could I blame my parents for having me.
But then, sadness began.

I would go to school every morning like everyone else to learn the rudiments of becoming a better person in all ways but would be treated like an outcast due to my size.


I was the biggest person in my class. I had no friends. Probably all my colleagues felt I was going to bully them or something and even called me a bully . I just discovered to my innocent surprise that these kids were just not friendly towards me.


They found it so easy to insult me and call me all sorts of names. As a result of this treatment, I started changing. I would consider myself nice natured ordinarily, but something inside me decided that this congregation did not deserve to see the better me. My mum didn't notice the change at first but after sometime she found something amiss. I started losing interest in my studies, I was no longer enjoying school. All I wished for was to get out of that school and proceed to a higher class. My hope was that respite would come when I find other girls of my size.









hmmmm , if only I knew better. I only discovered that my travails in primary school represented only a tip of the iceberg.


I wrote my Common entrance exams, passed, got into junior secondary school and at the very beginning of secondary school, things took a worse turn. Every single corner of the school I walked into, I found one group or the other staring at me, whispering inaudible words to themselves, laughing so loud and pointing their fingers at me. Teachers were no better as when I walked into the staff room I was addressed by all kinds of insulting ibo names. Apa akpu (bag of akpu), Apa rice (bag of rice) and so on.


 I found solace in no one. I found no one to talk to or play with. There were times in the morning when I woke up and remembered I was going to school and I would break down because I didn't feel loved, because I was scared . I didn't want to be insulted, I didn't feel I deserved that as my size wasn't self inflicted. At a point I would lie I was sick just to avoid school. I struggled through junior secondary school after which I made it clear that I wasn't going to school anymore. I couldn't attend birthdays or anything as I already had it in mind that I would to be mocked.


Luckily, my elder brother came and took me to lagos. I thought that the change of environment would make things completely different. How wrong I was.

 To my surprise, it went from bad to worse. So I started rejecting one school after another due to how I was treated. I moved from the first to the second and from the second to the third. I struggled and I finished from the third school, it wasn't easy,hmmmm.....


I left secondary school and was coming of age then the relationship aspect came. No guy wanted to date a fat gurl. Maybe they were scared to approach me, or they weren't sure they could handle me, either way, I was alone again. 


Then I found one, or should I say he found me. I tot I could be happy again till one faithful weekend I paid a surprise visit to my boyfriend and on getting to his door I overheard him telling his friends about how his time with me has been so far. He was saying he was whiling away time with me, that he can't even take me out as I'm too huge. Oh God it felt as if the world was coming to an end! 







That relationship ended after that and many more happened and it had to do with my size directly and indirectly after which I came across God sent friends,Olabisi ,Pelumi and Ibidayo Akeredolu ale May his soul Rest In peace. 


They helped me with my fight of self realization. They taught me how to look smart, how to be confident, how to face a crowd, how to hold my head up high even when people mocked me. They taught me how to laugh over mockery.
Soon after, I traveled back to Asaba where I met some of my old friends who are also plus size. Some couldn't make it through secondary school. Some were pregnant without even knowing who was responsible. Some were married, married out of shame. 

They got married simply because they felt if they stayed longer at home they may grow even bigger and would be totally out of the relationship market entirely. They weren't shown love and care.


I'm certain I'm not the only one who has passed through these travails. Others have, but like a friend of mine would say "you can never generalize people. Our choices are different" I chose to fight through. There are however still many more like me out there urgently in need of help,care,understanding and love.
I am ready to help cos I was also helped.


My advice to parents is to watch their children closely, show them love,give them attention no matter what age they are at. Not only babies need attention! 


And guys! I mean fans of plus size ladies, don't be scared or shy approaching us if you're attracted. And to all the plus size ladies reading this, God created us for a special reason, that is why we are unique and absolutely different. Learn from my story, adjust your mindset as in my case for example, having that issue on my mind at a very tender age nearly destroyed me. It nearly stopped me from socialising, it almost stopped me from being educated. Fight whatever challenge facing you and with the help of God you will overcome it. I did! 


Today i hold my head up high everywhere i go. Im drop dead gorgeous and i know it. I'm now a bonafide make up artiste,a skit maker,a content creator and a plus size model on my way to sure success. My passion? Making people look beautiful, especially plus sized women. my little way of contributing to uplifting my constituency.. 


You can do better. I know!!!





73 comments:

  1. Abeg Stella , she should go and loose weight . She cannot say she was born that way . Is her skeleton fat . We all know it is hard but she should make efforts and stop promoting obesity .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aha, see the bullies here.
      Did she tell you she is not making efforts?

      Delete
    2. shame on you....judgemental soul...how do you know she has not tried....for some people weight is not food but a thyroid problem. your type is the one who bullies others. she is just telling her story how did she promote obesity?gosh some of you are so stupid i swear

      Delete
    3. I stopped reading at 'born in the 90s'.
      Yes, she does need to lose weight!

      Delete
    4. Nothing like bully there. I'm from a family of 6,and right from birth was very big. My mum's side of the family are big. Faced same fate as the poster up there,but guess what,after university while waiting for service, decided to have a change . Note did not go to the gym or anywhere. My family was ready to help. Met a dietician who drew a meal plan for me. Then every morning 5am,my whole family was on the road walking. We started with 5mins,cos that was all I could do,then with time it increased. By my service time,I had dropped drastically that i even adjusted my kaki in camp. Your life style matters a lot. I was a size 24. I'm married with grown kids and a size 14,which to me is great. I still have my 95mins walk every 4days a wk till date. That has helped me greatly. Yes having the confidence is great, but shedding the fat is even better for a better health.

      Delete
    5. Your comment is very irritating. Pray you dont have a daughter like that...

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    6. I think she should go and loose weight for health better health.

      I was also bullied in high school cause of my weight. I will always give excuse that I was born like that. I will always tell everyone that I look like my grand mother, that she's fat. Now, no be person tell me to go loose weight. Different kind of health issues started coming from no where.

      I'm still on the journey and I'm happy with the result so far and guess what? Those small small health issues are disappearing.

      Delete
    7. Noooo!!!! and I repeat you were not born that way. In biochemistry, we were taught that we are what we eat as in literally. Reason Y no fat persons in war torn areas.

      Advancement in science and awareness have allowed us relearn what we thought was healthy feeding..eg excess fruits not healthy and egg could be good.
      I'm here for mothers that allow their kids to get obesed. I see thousands churning out obesed children that grow up to become obesed adults....these mothers use overfeeding and incorrect feeding to show love.
      We know the truth...let us give our children fighting chances. STOP STUFFING CHILDREN WITH JUICE, SNACKS AND EXCESS AMOUNT OF FOOD OOOOO...lemme drop mic here...

      Delete
    8. I think if she sees a doc, they can help.
      Lifestyle change especially as regards food intake, proportion, timing, type and exercise can help.
      It helped me too.

      Delete
    9. Anonymous 12.03 .Go away πŸ˜’ Life is not about how fit you are. Get a life with your long epistle.

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    10. I have seen some slim ladies who can eat a mountain yet remain slim. But never have I seen a fat person who eats small. Both in quality and quantity of their food is always wrong. No excuse nne. No need getting comfortable and claiming fat and fabulous. Don't you care about your health? Pregnancy complications, heart issues, diabetes etc.

      See her pretty face and gorgeous skin.

      Delete
    11. 14.54 God bless you. No fat people in war torn countries. You are what you eat.πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘Œ

      Delete
    12. Don't be harsh! Some have hormonal imbalance and can't produce sufficient enzymes required for digestion.

      Parents need to do better for their kids. Letting them get fat at a young age will make it more difficult for them to shed it when they are older as they will have a very slow metabolism.
      Her parents could have looked for a solution when she was young. Please try and seek medical help but no matter what happens, you are beautiful and your new found confidence is the way to go.

      Delete
  2. Nice you are discovering your poise.
    "I was born in the early 90s"
    Why can't Nigerians state their birth year?
    Like "born 1990, 1991" is it too hard?
    πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 12:09, is that the only thing you got out of this entire write-up?
      Wow!

      Delete
    2. How is it your business? Let’s learn to mind our business abeg.

      Feel free to buy a billboard and display yours.

      Delete
    3. If it is not my business, why bring it to the blog?

      Delete
    4. So out of everything she wrote, the only thing that got your attention was she omitted her birth year? Na wah o.

      Delete
    5. To be honest her year of birth is NOT YOUR BUSINESS, for the love of God! You asking why she brought it to the blog is just a dumb question because
      1. Stella brought this story to the blog
      2. The story is about her struggle with weight, not about her birth date/year.

      If you’re so interested in knowing people’s dates of birth, go work in a hospital or in a local government center where they register birth certificates so that you can have your fill of seeing birth dates!

      Gosh!!!

      Delete
  3. I love her beautiful face,you rock Remi!!

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  4. She's not that fat o, na just breasts. Pretty lady.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sandra that babe is fat as in fat. I can imagine back and knee pain she passes through.

      Delete
    2. You’re joking, right?

      Delete
  5. THERE IS A COUSIN OF MINE WHO WILL DIE FOR THIS LADY

    ReplyDelete
  6. Is this not the lady on tunde ednut's instagram page talking about how much she misses preeek during the lockdown?? na she joorπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  7. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

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  8. Remi you are beautiful and im not just saying it I have a best friend who is quite big and I know how it hurt her to be mocked ..but you are wonderfully made ..there are people that will kill to have you ...you must have suffered a lot of emotional damage growing up as in Nigeria there dont seem to be any help for bullied kids ..im glad you are seeing now how beautiful you are ..just keep healthy keep active and keep you beautiful head up ..cheers

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  9. I totally understand what she is saying however my personal motor is not to give up on losing the weight. Check lepacious Bose now. who could have believed that she could lose weight. My dear do it for yourself and not cos of a man. I fight the fat everyday. There are times i gain and i lose but i do not stop!

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  10. Honestly fat people dey suffer for this country.
    The bodyshame no be here 😭

    ReplyDelete
  11. Honestly fat people dey suffer for this country.
    The bodyshame no be here 😭

    ReplyDelete
  12. Aunty how can you say you were growing rapidly in primary 6 not because of food but because that's how your body is.. Were you on drugs that made you eat more or what? The ideology of Nigerian pple who see fat children and equate them to living the good life should stop because some of those children never recover from that fat. I have nothing against fat women. I have had one or two things with a couple and most love slim guys ehn...

    ReplyDelete
  13. I presume your size discouraged you from pursuing a university education despite how intelligent you claimed to be but you came online to objectify yourself with these half naked pictures of yours, please get a real histle, we are tired of naked pictures whenever we go online and of course am a plus size woman too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leave alone....You are definitely primitive to call her dressing naked

      Delete
  14. You are beautiful!

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  15. I feel parents should also do better in managing a child’s weight. Some children start blowing up between 5 and 10 because they are being given a lot of junk as pacifiers or because they are processing carbs at a different rate. As a parent, if you see your child growing bigger than he/she should, you kick in specific diets. Cook and serve him/her healthier foods and force them to eat it.
    I recognize that not all households are buoyant enough to do this but efforts can be made. Kick in compulsory play times for physical exercise. It’s not about looking good, it’s about being healthy and adopting a healthier lifestyle. It’s not good enough to just say ‘ehn, when she grows up, she will start watching her weight’.
    There is a difference between being on the bigger side and being on the extreme end of the scale when compared to peers. This applies to extremely fat and extremely thin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you.

      I know a woman who gives her daughter who is already obese a can of malt every day. She will tell you the little girl can't do without it. I told her substitute the malt with fruits, why are you making it seem like the child will die without malt??

      The truth is we have a huge role to play as parents.

      Delete
    2. A can of malt everyday? Hmmm, na wa ooo. So the girl will beat her if she says ‘No’? Some people don’t know what it means to be a parent.

      Delete
    3. You're right. I have someone close to me with teenage girls with fat and providing stomok like a 6 month old pregnant woman. We started hinting her about their big sizes but she did not heed to us. According to her, it shows that they are feeding well and this woman is a doctor oh.

      Thank God for a change of school, the girls were bullied in their new school that nobody told them before they started talking to their mum. They started complaining of leg pains when they climb stairs in this new their new school. I saw them of recent and I'm happy with the weight loss.

      Delete
    4. You're absolutely right .
      I believe in having a meal plan , it sure helps & healthy snacking as well.
      My sister did these for her kids and it really helped.

      Delete
    5. That was how someone asked me why my kids don't drink tea every night. I was surprised.

      Some parents don't even feed themselves well so their kids eat same. Me that eat fruits everyday, is it my kids that will now not eat fruit? I don't drink soda, my kids don't drink too. They take ribena and caprisone once in a while but more of water.

      Delete
  16. Replies
    1. You must have a very miserable life, to say this.

      Delete
    2. This shrunk skeleton must disgrace herself as usual

      Delete
    3. But Fatolu is the lady's surname... the name just seems very apt for trolling her...FATolu no pun intended.

      Delete
  17. We don't take hormonal issues serious in this part of the world. Even doctors don't even recommend we check our hormones at first. Its supposed to be the first point of call for weight issues and infertility but no, people will just look at other people and start shaming them or blaming them for whatever they are going through not knowing the person is dealing with something he/she has no control over. Please, weight gain is not always because the person eats too much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

      Delete
    2. So true. I had to do a hormone profile before I could get pregnant again.

      Delete
    3. πŸ‘ŒπŸ½πŸ‘ŒπŸ½πŸ‘ŒπŸ½

      Delete
    4. Anonymous 13:14, thank you so much. Some Nigerians are so ignorant. Hormonal issues can make a person fat and no matter how much you exercise until you address the hormonal issues medically, you will continue to blow up. I wonder why people equate being thin with good health. Being obese is unhealthy no doubt, however you are living in a bubble if you think your slim frame means you are healthy. I have seen slim people who are diabetic or have hypertension. There is no doubt that being obese predisposes you to some of these conditions but being slim does not automatically make you safe either.
      Nigerians bodyshame a lot and its horrible, y'all don't understand that mental health illness is real. A person who is already fat does not need you to insult them, if they are not self aware there are ways to have meaningful conversations with them. When I lived in 9ja, gosh I was borderline clinically depressed, the kind of things people will say to you, the cat calls even in church were just horrible. And none of the insults ever helped me lose weight, instead it sent me to the deep hole of depression until I met my husband who lives in the US and used to wonder why people insulted my weight. Bear in mind I was a size 12 top and size 14 skirt, yet the insult was constant. Anyway, I relocated when the time came and not one single soul has commented on my weight since I have been living in the US whether in church (don't attend Nigerian churches, no respect for boundaries, no offence,) or at work. At some point, i discovered the BC I was using had hormones that were blowing me up,i took it out and weight loss came so easily and I'm gradually reaching my goal weight.
      So please be conscientious, don't drive people into mental illness because of your insensitive comments.

      Delete
    5. Bodyshaming is every where not only in Nigeria. It is even worst in Western world especially in their schools. But in Nigeria you can fight back if you got tough skin and you bully them back.I was so skinny in school that they bully me to the point I had to start bullying back before they leave me alone.

      Delete
  18. Be strong my dear. You didn't create yourself. You are beautiful.

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  19. We are all fighting our demons, I was bullied in Secondary school for being on the quiet side, I am 40years plus but I still get tormented when I reflect to the past,i am trying to be more social but you can't change who you are easily. I wish i was more chitty chatty but unfortunately that's not who I am.
    In Nigeria people make it seem like being an introvert is a crime, I wish i could get my closure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. im so sorry for what you went through I was bullied terribly by my so called school mother ..I still think about it im in my 40s ..about being quiet embrace who who are and spend time with people who understand you ..do you also realise God understand you so well ?...put your heart in His Hands you will be fine

      Delete
    2. Thanks for the advice, God bless you.

      Delete
  20. I don't see being plus sized as an issue as long as they are healthy. If the fat is making you unhealthy, then lose it by all means. No motivational speeches and stories please.

    ReplyDelete
  21. 🚢‍♂️🚢‍♂️🚢‍♂️🚢‍♂️🚢‍♂️

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  22. Stella, I'm proud that she's confident but she needs to lose weight.
    She should work on herself, her weight is not healthy. Forget about the mockery, she's not healthy.

    ReplyDelete
  23. She looks beautiful. Example of big, bold and beautiful. Her own na follow come o.Thank God she was able to manage it.

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  24. Some men love her like that o. They are just scared to admit it.

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  25. Aunty, blame your parents. They failed you!!

    As a minor, they should have taken better care of you and monitored your nutrition and daily activities.

    All these could have been avoided if they had been more aware, and carried out their parental duties appropriately.

    In some countries, social services would have taken you away from them for neglect.

    Now that you have gone through this, when you have your own kids, please do better.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Some parents can do better by giving their kids healthy food and healthy snacks.

    I see fat people crying every now and then about being body shamed and being bullied.

    Growing up, it was these same fat people that bullied and body shamed us; they called us lepa, skeleton, sickler, broomstick, long neck, chewing sticks and different kinds of awful names. God bless my dad for always letting me know that I am the apple of God's eyes. He helped built my self confidence and those awful words never got to me one day.
    Even in this country that I reside in, these Caucasians especially the fat ones always find a way to ask me if I eat at all or if I'm on diet, I'm talking about people that look 10-15years older than their age.

    If you know your body feels heavy, lose weight.
    Lose weight for yourself and your health.
    Obesity should never be entertained or glorified.
    Stop giving your kids soft drinks (soda) filled with sugar. Their metabolism is not strong enough for all those sugary food/drinks and snacks

    ReplyDelete
  27. It’s quite unfortunate what she went through. However, she should watch her weight.
    It’s just quite unfortunate that it was my fat friends that bullied me most for being skinny as a kid tho.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh God .this happened to me
      At a point i hated school so bad, funny thing is even some family members bullied me for being skinny .
      Now I see everyone struggling to shed some skin.

      Delete
  28. I once watched a House MD episode of an obese 10 year old who was eventually diagnosed with Cushing's disease. Turned out her obesity was a symptom of the disease.

    Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of awareness here in Nigeria. We blame it on genes and feeding.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Please what's her IG handler name, na my spec be this

    ReplyDelete

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