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Saturday, September 12, 2020

Boredom Eliminating Post

125 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Hmmmmmmm

      One of my colleagues shocked me last week. We were all talking during break time and a female coll

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    2. This comment went without being completed. Jesus!

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    3. My colleague (male) told another colleague (female) that recently did wedding: *congrats Cindy, dem don put you for house*. I laughed my heart out that day.

      This male colleague is a lawyer! One of our bests! Patriarchy should be declared a criminal offence in my opinion. Chai!

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    4. Toto water small, but e reach prick to use bath.

      This statement never still balance for my head even five years after I heard of it.

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    5. And the one about prick and shoulder something

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  2. Replies
    1. My neighbour called "obioma" to stitch his black trousers. Only for him to come out and see the aboki used yellow thread. When we asked him why he didn't use black that he obviously has he said it's "asumi" that caused it๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

      Asumi is Muslim fasting o. What's the relationship between yellow thread, black trousers and Asumi tori olorun?!

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    2. One day my friend invited me to her church and that Sunday was their Thanksgiving service.that was how one bros came out to testify.the next thing we heard was " one day I smoke, smoke, smoke oo Belle come dey pain me,pain me,pain me ooo,na like so one woman come give me concortion make I drink na so the pain come stop,I thank God o because na like so I for take die,praise the Lord.na so church scatter for laugh that even the pastor's wife had to go outside to laugh to avoid embarrassment.

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    3. Saphire I don’t know why but ur asumi story made me laugh so hard. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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    4. 20.40 thanks for your comment. I was lazy to type before. But just to butress your point, I'm y still laughing sef

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  3. I never knew that the song Osingosingo praise the Lord was actually

    Oh singer sing on praise the Lord, and I used to sing it with boldness , not realizing I was singing the wrong lyrics.

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    1. Not only you jare๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ how many people know the real lyrics those days?

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    2. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Same here

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    3. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿคฃ

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    4. Thanks o. Even till now, I thought it was " o sing o sing o"

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    5. Im on this table sitting pretty on this table

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    6. Twin Squared, yours is better o, since I was small I had always sang "I am a spider, to follow Jesus" instead of "I have decided, to follow Jesus".
      Another one is "little baby killed Goliath " instead of "little David killed Goliath ".

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    7. Really, just knowing and I'm over 40 ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพ‍♀️๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜ฑ

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    8. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€. I learnt is "All singers sing on.. Which is d right lyrics biko? Make I no go sing off key for church because wen I sing in church my voice is always loud, no be say d voice sweet sef...one kind yeye voice but i no send anybody. So just imagine the side-eyez wey congregation go use finish me.

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    9. Nique.. Ur own off me๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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    10. @Nique, ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Are you still a spider??

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    11. Firstlady blessing12 September 2020 at 19:56

      Lol,una funny

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    12. Me na osingosingo I sabi o ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ. Lol @ spider to follow Jesus ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

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    13. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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    14. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐ŸคฃOMG. And until now, I thought it was oh sing oh sing oh

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    15. Nique ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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    16. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ,we plenty for this table oooooo,will I ever change the lyrics? Odiegwu ooooooo, that's how I read online few months ago that it's not Mummy Oyoyo as we happily chanted back then, that it is Mummy oh you are home. Me: who cares? My brain already registered Mummy Oyoyo ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ.

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    17. Waaaaawuuuuuuu.... I'm just knowing oo at 33 years of my life... Chai

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    18. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ. Candy, it was at "old age" I realised it wasn't a spider affair.

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    19. ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ Na now I know ooo

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  4. Prostitute giving motivational speech;

    I started my business with just one round

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    Replies
    1. Inukwa. ๐Ÿ™†‍♀️๐Ÿ™†‍♀️๐Ÿ™†‍♀️๐Ÿ™†‍♀️๐Ÿ™†‍♀️๐Ÿƒ‍♀️๐Ÿƒ‍♀️๐Ÿƒ‍♀️๐Ÿƒ‍♀️๐Ÿƒ‍♀️๐Ÿƒ‍♀️

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    2. Come Isaac why na? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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    3. Isaac, do you patronize prostitutes, all your jokes are about them.๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ

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    4. Anon congratulations for thinking you made sense ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

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  5. Ashewo when nor get savings na dey f*ck with menstrual flow ๐Ÿ˜ซ

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Isaac this joke is really distasteful, no offense intended...

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    3. Very distasteful joke ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ˆ

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    4. Apologies then๐Ÿ™๐Ÿพ

      but it was funny to me and my friends when someone told us๐Ÿ˜ซ

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    5. @Isaac
      Go and learn what a joke means.๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ
      I hereby sentence you to probation.

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    6. Anon the post said “ tell us something funny you once heard” it did not say joke okay✌๐Ÿพ

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    7. ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿคฆ

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    8. Your 'sense of humour' and that of your 'friends' is incredibly weird.

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    9. @Isaac,
      A joke is something funny. Go and use your dictionary.
      ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ

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  6. Replies
    1. Chai! I still remember the head resetting konks of my youth.

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  7. Those days while in the north,a neighbor son went to smoke weed and sitting on the fence he started shouting so people came out and asked why he was shouting,he said he's left leg was missing that he can't find it๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ so they told him his legs are intact but he refused.. everybody just left him on the highness affecting him

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    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Really?

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    2. Lmao !!!!
      The crazy things I've heard about weed

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    3. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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    4. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€. This story reminds me of "see snake, see snake" . They replied him where e dey? And he said "see am for my head" Abeg DAT bv should bring d gist again. Lwkmd

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    5. Hahahaha. The effect of weed. Not for the faint hearted.

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    6. ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚

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  8. One woman went to fetch fodder for her Christmas goat, the more the goat ate the fodder,
    the more it was bleating.
    Shuoooooorrr. Goat wey dey chop before and just stay quiet all through the day and night?
    So, the lady went to check. The goat broke out of her leash and began pursuing her.
    Help, help. The goat grabbed her wrapper and she was running on undies.
    ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š
    Later she found out that there was weed that she gave the goat to eat.

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    1. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

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    2. 3Amigos Bread @ 6 Okesalu St, Ikotun. 0813851632812 September 2020 at 18:30

      Oh dear

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    3. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.

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    4. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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    5. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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    6. Kai ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

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    7. ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

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    8. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ, u say wetin ?

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    9. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ o chim

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    10. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
      So none of you crucified her today?

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    11. ANG, so you know what weed is? Wow!

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    12. @Shooter
      I know you must shoot me even in the midst of a joke. So what is the fuss about
      knowing what weed (Marijuana) is? Don't you see that those who smoke weed or use it to cook
      end up behaving like that goat; bleating, making noise, pursuing women and grabbing their wrappers.
      That's sexual molestation there. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿป‍♀️
      Go to any federal prison and see those in their asylums due to marijuana. Besides, you don't even
      know my profession, do you? ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

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  9. My lecturer once said,you can never run away from your bumbum

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    1. Choi๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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    2. Aswear ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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  10. Concerned Woman: Oga your daughter Don get Belle.

    Oga : when I say her Belle, I think say Na food she chop belleful

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  11. Beat a NIGERIAN kid and console him with a biscuit..
    Ask him who beat you?
    He will point another person
    That was how CORRUPTION started in NIGERIA ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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  12. When I was like 13, we traveled home one Christmas and my late cousin said I should follow her for their youth(CYON) end of the year party and launching. I said no p, so my dad gave me money to contribute to their launching.
    It was going on fine till they recognized me and gave me microphone to greet. I just collected the mic and shouted "pawpaw na for youth" instead of "for God and for youth". That was how I became the talk of the village.

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    1. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€.. Pawpaw and for youth ahhhh " For God and for youth.. Then the reply is " Through Christ"

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    2. Stella abeg this one should enter funny comments abeg.. Jesus!!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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    3. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚

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    4. Firstlady blessing12 September 2020 at 20:03

      Pawpaw na for youth๐Ÿ˜‚

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    5. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
      I'm tearing up badly ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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  13. When I was serving in the North,there was this young aboki always on my case,he worked in the same ministry I served.He kept disturbing me for an affair,the guy fine o but his grammar na die.
    So one day I decided to pay him a visit,as I was inside,someone knocked on his door.so my aboki bf wants to impress me with grammar..he said "na who knocking door" when he opened the door and saw his friend,he now said "ashey ma na u knocking door".l couldn't hold back the laughter o..na so I burst into kwakwakwa.

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    1. What did you go to his house to do, since you know it was going nowhere?

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    3. Jeez this is funny ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

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    4. 19:19, how the fuq is that your business?

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    5. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…

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  14. You don't threaten an ashewo with big preek....say it on yibokoko handle.

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  15. Ojukwu is a good man, His manhood loves one ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ y’all should guess which of the former First Ladies said that ๐Ÿ˜‚.

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    1. Ojukwu is dead but his manhood lives on๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ madame Pay Pay ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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    2. The only First Lady that was an entertainer. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.

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    3. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ Thanks GCN ..... auto correct no be am.
      ๐Ÿ˜‚ Pari Nnem that woman was an entertainer ๐Ÿ˜„

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    4. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
      You people cannot forget something

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  16. A lady came to spend a nite in my house and she came with her own bedsheet. When i asked her why she said her boyfriend always call her on video call every morning and he knows all her bedsheets.

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    1. Liar! Stale meme that has been making the rounds on Twitter. Mtchewwww

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    2. she's must be a professional ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

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    3. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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    4. You forgot to add COPIED๐Ÿ˜’

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    5. You're joking right!!!


      ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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  17. My kids during Nysc spoke terrible English. I asked one of them to go call a colleague in the next classrom. She came back much later and said " Aunty, there is no her".
    We went back and forth for a while until I understood she meant that the person I sent her to call was nowhere to be found.

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  18. Facial mask can be worn as g-string๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚

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  19. Someone once said short fat girls when they put their hands on their waist look like tea mugs ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿฝ‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿฝ‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿฝ‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿฝ‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿฝ‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿฝ‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿฝ‍♀️

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  20. Who you?
    Where you from?
    Am not a preacher of love
    I am war
    Indabosky bahose

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  21. Na so one little Girl dey always hear her mama call one lady by name (omolere meaning children na gift o) The Little girl on call the same lady come shout omo were ( meaning mad person pikin) I laugh tire dat day.the saving grace be say the lady no hear. E for red dat day o

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  22. A friend once told that during university days there was this pretty girl that he pursued for a long time. Finally one day the girl visited him in his room. They heavily made out and accidentally he came in in his pants. The girl unaware of what happened now undressed and asked him to start the action. My guy was flaccid and couldn’t get it up! Awkward!

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    Replies
    1. Oh my God! So hilarious. Did they try next time?

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  23. Funny post ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    ReplyDelete

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