Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Saturday, September 26, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....


Hmmmmmm.......








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED ABOUT RELATIONSHIP STATUS


I need advice 

 please I have this a guy i am dating , he has been helping me with things I need for the catering I'm learning and he did my birthday party for me and with other money I normally get from him. Note I have never asked him for anything except airtime and subscription. 


He called me on Monday to buy him somethings he needs and I told him that once I get to his place he should just drop the money for me ( I was joking) on my way to his place ,he called me that he just left with his friends and that I should drop the things in his house and meet him and his friends at a bar ,I told him I was tired and needed to rest so I didn't go but I told him to buy me fish when coming. 



He later called to come and take the fish and I came outside my house and he told me to enter the car that the fish was with his brother ,on getting there , there was no fish and I ask him why ;he said his friends where in a hurry so he could not wait for the fish , in anger I told him he was taking me for granted , I later apologize before going home and I still called him to apologize when I got home 


Since on Monday I have been the one calling .note when ever we have misunderstanding I'm always the one reaching out first . I have known him since June and he gives me things without me asking .


 Does he even love me ๐Ÿ˜ญ? Should I still keep doing the calling ?Whenever I call I pretend as if everything is fine , I just want his birthday to come so that I can give back to him so that people will not say i am ungrateful , should I keep calling till November ? Please Stella post , I'm really weak..





*If there is a problem you are always the one reaching out?Hmmmm,my dear all i can say is that if he proposes to you,please say NO...
This man will be at home with you and not talk and you will keep saying sorry from Morning until night.
Stop calling him please,if he cannot take a joke,thats his biz not yours...dont apologise for doing nothing!!!

63 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. @ op, you are currently dating yourself

      Delete
  2. U sound like a desperado and it be nice you stop calling him like you normally do.Get some self worth,hun

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is guilty and also selfish. Want things to be going her own way.

      Delete
    2. Easier said than done... please keep on calling him, while you plan your exit strategy. Just know at the back of your mind he's not the right man for you

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  3. Poster are you sure you are telling us exactly what happened? An angel suddenly become something else in a flash.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You sound very selfish.
    Seems you enjoy being on the receiving side.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very selfish person. Trying to cover it all.

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    2. She is not just selfish, she lacks wisdom, the man may have wanted a serious relationship but her words and attitude are a total turn off so he placed her where she belongs

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    3. I totally agree with you @ Anon 17:58. Stella please what made him angry or acting up is the statement she made in the car which she admits she said out of anger. Only God knows how she said it because of fish. And you are asking a man that provides for you without you asking for money for things you bought for him jokingly hmmm.You seem to me you are quite sellfish and self centered biko

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    4. Are u guys serious?Someone told her to go to the car n get her fish as if she's a child or a slave n there was actually no fish In the car. It is kinda disrespectful to me n does seem like he takes her for a fool.or a plaything. She too the way she is doing sme SMe is annoying. But I guess she has accepted worse treatment from him in the past. This one that he is using her to do errand girl n putting her in position of having to ask him for money. Na wa o.i bet this girl is way younger n inexperienced. Naija babes una dey try for naija men's hand..the stuff u guys accept.. tufiaKwa. That is why naija men will continue to have the upper hand in the dating n marriage scene

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    5. @22:25, the only reason it seems as if Nig guys have the upper hand is cos in Nigerian culture women usually date guys who are older than them. Dating in Nigeria is usually purposeful with marriage as goal, so it is very common for undergrads in year 1/2/3 to date men who are already graduates and working. Where there is money imbalance there is usually power imbalance. One may ask, why not date your mates? Well, cos those mate-relationships hardly lead to marriage. A 21yr old dating her mate might become 31 in ten years and the guy may still break up with her when he is finally ready. So usually women date men who are older cos of the marriage possibility. Some get lucky and the men understand their age and work with their level of maturity, some groom the women to become more mature and confident, while for some, the power imbalance leads to an abusive and difficult marriage. Like in poster's case she's obviously a young girl dating an older guy.

      Delete
  5. Hhmm one chance relationship

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Serious narcissists loading. A man who doesnt communicate isnt mature enough for a relationship. Dont be fooled by the money. He knows who u r so he plays out this card. He has money on u, you get disrespected. Not marriage material. Hear word now

      Delete
  6. This Chronicle sounds very childish.. don't even understand anything in it..

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  7. Well young one, Some men are only generous until they get something from you (sex), while some deliberately show care and generosity in the beginning, only to withdraw it and make you yearn for it. Once you are in that vulnerable & emotional state, yearning for their love, they unleash their power. However, you need some emotional maturity to be in a relationship. Be careful with the words you use. Saying what you said over fish was childish and unnecessary. However, the guy lying that the fish was in the car was also insincere of him. Also be careful what you ask for. Depending on where he was going with friends, there are times to ask for snacks like fish and there are times not to. Remember he has a life that does not revolve around you until you guys are engaged or married. Anyways, one or two apologies from you is enough. You didn't kill anyone. Let it go and move on with your life. Don't spend your days wondering if he loves you..naah, he doesn't..not yet. Probably likes you, but to him, at this stage, you're replaceable.
    Rather, spend time on your growth and self development and grooming. So that the next man that comes will see a grown, confident, mature woman who says what she means, means what she says, jokes when it's right and doesn't ask for fish. Or if she does ask for fish, he'd have no choice but to get her some fish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. It seems the guy is taking advantage of the fact she is young n Inexperienced..he sounds like a predator n a wolf tbvh..also.the fish thing was disrespectful. It was like taking someone for a fool..n ur right he won't try that with a grown woman cus a grown woman would have cut him off for that as small as it seems

      The guy also seems bold enough to send her on errands.. looks like she has accepted worse treatment from him in the past. That's the problem with accepting bad behaviour early from a man in the beginning when he conducts a couple of tests to see how far he can push you or manipulate you..it will continue to degenerate n set the precedent for the rest of the relationships

      Delete
  8. You sound naive, which one is buy fish and airtime ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

    ReplyDelete
  9. You said he always gives you things without you asking abd this one time he asked you tobhrlp him get something, you "jokingly" told him to drop off the money you used in getting the thing at him. Did he know you were joking? Even if you were truly "joking", I font think you you have said that especially to someone that gives you all the time. I personally will not like that.
    Secondly, (without clearing the air that you were joking about your earlier comment that he should refund your money),you then asked him to buy you fish and when he played a trick on you that he bought the fish whereas he did not, you picked offence and told him he was taking you fir granted. My dear, in my honest view, you were the one taking him for granted. And I have a good feeling that he did what he did deliberately, based on your earlier comment. But since you have apologised, then let it go. If you are not comfortable with his behaviour, call him and talk things out. Don't push it aside. Let him say what is on his mind. If you try all these and he is still not forthcoming, then let him go. When his birthday comes up in November, go and drop his present and move on. And in your next relationship, let this your experience guide you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, this is the advice ๐Ÿ‘Œ

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    2. You are right in all ramifications. But I see alot of immaturity in the way this is being handled. How about talking about it. I totally do not believe silent treatment is a mature respond to a problem.

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  10. Hmmmm dead on arrival relationship

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  11. Looks like baba tested you and you failed. So your tiredness disappeared when you heard fish? I would advise the guy to look elsewhere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜ƒ don't mind her. Have strength for fish, but strength to go an see the said provider of fish is not there.

      Delete
  12. Keep calling him dear ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿผ

    ReplyDelete
  13. Please stop calling him, if you're important to him,he will come for you, stop selling yourself cheap Biko, he gives you things, buys you things and so what?? Please ooo

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  14. Do as SDK said!!!!

    Shalom

    ReplyDelete
  15. If I understand you correctly, what is causing this fight now is Fish??? Someone always gives you stuff without you asking and because he couldn’t buy you fish one day, you were angry that he’s taking you for granted???
    Are you sure you don’t have a sense of entitlement?
    I don’t think this is a matter of giving him back what he gave you.

    If you think you’re the one always apologizing when you people quarrel, it’s either
    1. You people quarrel over senseless things like the above. Or
    2. You need to not apologize whenever you are sure he is wrong and you are sure that it is a worthwhile matter

    ReplyDelete
  16. You did not see fish and you got angry?
    Something is fishy here o.
    And you are always reaching out, while he is
    always reaching IN yea?
    Well, if a man loves you;
    He will do the reaching out
    He will not ask to fornicate with you
    He will preserve the cookie jar for marriage.
    That is "Love not seeking his own (satisfaction in this case)"
    Do you understand?
    ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

    ReplyDelete
  17. This poster reminds me of Martha. She wants her guy to do everything for her, but she won't lift a finger to help a her guy. Poverty kee you, Martha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

      Delete
  18. Ifuro Onu gi ka fish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.. This chronicle sounds so funny.. Even the comments that follow sef na "joke.. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

      Delete
  19. Fish, subscription, airtime, at your age? So somebody should just pick up mumu bills and you have the effrontery to even shout because them no give you fish. Can you even hear yourself? They are taking you for granted because a man who owes you nothing could not wait to buy you fish? Continue my dear. Your only worry now is that no more freebies. One day you'll be an older lady, these gifts won't be as frequent, I wonder if you'll Jack random men on their neck to sub for you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What the hell do you mean a man who owes her nothing? She's wrong for reacting the way she did but saying he owes her nothing is simply foolish. What exactly does he want from her if I may ask,? Any man who wants to date a woman without some level of responsibility to her is not a man and is not ready to date. May God bless your sisters with such men. Rubbish!!!

      Delete
  20. Na ordinary Fish dey cause all this wahala ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
    On a serious note. He told you to get something from him & you told him to refund you ‘jokingly’ abi??? So after all the goodies he gives you without you asking, you can’t even use your free mind to get the stuff for him without asking for refund abi ? Rshp is a give & take thingy. He probably has seen you have the tendency of a leech that’s why he has ‘japa’ it is well!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Keep calling until after his birthday.
    If he ask you for marriage please don't accept because am facing same in my 13thyrs in marriage, if not for pally thing ..I would have move out yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was in similar situation but after I got my pally am still tolerating him but now I call the shot. He respects me more because I have my own house now. So my dear keep tolerating him, everything will be fine

      Delete
  22. This is an abridged version of what transpired, I would love to hear from the guy b4 I advise u, soup wet been dey sweet no fit just sour suddenly.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Is this really an issue๐Ÿค”

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  24. Na wa o. I dont even understand the story

    ReplyDelete
  25. Stella momma, this your reply sweet me shaa,
    This man will be at home with you and not talk and you will keep saying sorry from Morning until night...
    Honestly this is a better way to unleash anger than raising your hand on a woman
    If her conscience no flog thunder comot her body eeh, you're dealing with devil's P.A

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stella is an experienced woman. Such men will so abuse you emotional that you'd lose your self worth.

      Delete
  26. I think people should start attaching age to their Chronicle so we could advise better. That said, poster you did well by expecting to be refunded your money back because he didn't ask you to buy him the things as gift. What you didn't do right is the way you communicated it. You could have point blank tell him you didn't have enough money on you and let him send you money to buy the things since it's not money you can let go off easily. You should never feel bad about expecting to be paid because he gives you gifts. He should have waited for you to reciprocate his gestures yourself. Not asking you to buy him something expecting you to forgo the money when he didn't know your financial condition at that moment.

    That said, I think you have apologise enough. Keep it moving and keep him at an arm's length. I feel he is a manipulative person. You can drop his gift for him on his birthday then lockup again until he comes to talk things over with you. If he doesn't come, forget about him but if he does and you still like him, ask him to define what the 2 of you have. I will also advise you to close your legs so you are not taken advantage of; that's very important.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous 18:19 who are u. I am not the writer but u wrote like u know my story. This guy is manipulative. Like I have dated this exact person before. You better buy him an expensive gift and run. Cos that ungrateful line is loading. He will use it till you become his puppet.

      Delete
  27. @poster: how old are you? This story sounds so childish.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Aunty poster you self no dey try
    He's up and doing, assisting you in any problem that comes your way and here you are playing mind games with yourself..
    You're always messing up, that's why you're at that end tryna fix up your mess
    Take yourself as another lady and him as your brother...
    What kinda advice would you give your beloved brother in such case?
    Aunty just be calming down small small

    ReplyDelete
  29. All this over fish!!!

    The only reason you are "weak" is because you've realised the money will no be forthcoming, and you don't have a plan B guy to mooch off from!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. You af run relay race ..you don dey madt ABI? U no try.. as u analyze now the guy sure to u.. odinary fish u don act up ..must it be his birthday before u get him fish.. na ur birthday e buy all that stuffs? Koshidanu

    ReplyDelete
  31. Poster you didn't do well with the way you reacted when be didn't buy the fish with his friends.

    Since you have apologize I believe he should be able to forgive you and you both should move on from there. If a person loves you they should have the ability to forgive you no matter what you have done to them.

    I will say you should stop calling him up and down, love and give space, do not be the only that will always call him each time you both has any argument especially when you have apologized.

    If you can visit him please do that to have a good convo with him, let him air out whatever you did to him that is making him mad at you and you both apologize and move forward.

    Whenever you both have any argument do not be the first to reach out to him no Matter what because if you continue like this that is how marriage will be.

    ReplyDelete
  32. You are a child, grow up first.
    You are obviously using him for what he can give to you.
    He can see that and has placed you where you belong.

    ReplyDelete
  33. You better find a way to apologise and make it up to him. And keep your head afterwards. Selfish and over entitled brat! You sound too naive to be in a relationship. After apologising, I think you should stay off dating for a while. Despite all the advice given on this blog, you still won't borrow some sense. Must you make all the mistakes by yourself?

    ReplyDelete
  34. He probably told someone what you said about him paying you back for the things he sent you and they advised him right if you ask me. What kind of stupid joke is that. You met him in June and he's been spending on you and you have the effrontery to ask him for your money just once that he asked you for something. Please leave him alone and move on. Besides you mentioned you're always the first to beg, if it's for trivial issues like this you beg for, then you're the one stirring him up. June no far abeg move on if you can't deal unless him money don enter your eye.

    ReplyDelete
  35. This your man, is his birthday on the second of November?

    ReplyDelete

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