Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Couch Convo - Dealing With A Break Up..

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Monday, October 05, 2020

Couch Convo - Dealing With A Break Up..

How do you deal with a break up or the end of a long term relationship?

 Please share your experiences,Someone who needs to know might be reading!!!







59 comments:

  1. I move in quickly, i am hypertensive, u cant come and kill myself

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    1. Abi oo.Heartbreak if not handled properly can cause some kind issues.HBP,Panic and anxiety attacks,e.t.c I never knew until it happened to my cousin.Someone that was healthy oh.Now has HBP because her boyfriend of 5 years married his ex and high school sweetheart.

      When it comes to break up I would say time heals all wound.It make take days,months, and years to get over that person,but one day,you will wake up and not even think about it and realise you are over the person.

      The major reason it is difficult to get over that person is the feeling that you may never find someone that will be like your ex,or no one will create those lovely memories like your ex.But brother/Sister it is a fat lie.

      You will find someone wayyyyy better than your ex. Move on!!!

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    2. Confirmed!!!!! In my case proposal had happened and no cookie was given. Oga had seen my Dad and expressed his intentions. Only for us to have a small misunderstanding and he said he was done. Asked me to return the ring. I was in shock!!!> See cry, where do I want to start from at 33? I cried ehh. Called everybody to beg him, mind you this guy was managing and didnt have a car oh, but i was forming believing in him. I carried my load and moved to the US after all the drama. My biggest fear was that I wont meet someone else. Big Fat lie from the pit of hell!!!!. Within 4 months I met someone else who coincidentally happens to be from my village and boy oh boy, Hes way way better than my ex in every way. You cant even compare. He proposed and we are planning to do our Igba nkwu April next year.

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    3. Congratulations Theo...... the idiot I met who’s from my village I thought Wouk be the last bus stop gas started acting like Christmas light.... unstable

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  2. Best way forward is to forgive, learn the lessons and rest your soul in Christ.
    If a lady is of good
    character, hasn't shared "cookies" or "aborted for him," it is
    as simple as just ignore him, he is not
    worth the trouble. Most ladies
    get over the brat fast.
    But when it had happened, the lady's soul
    feels that her fecundity has been compromised by someone unworthy and
    that precipitates that terrible
    hurt and heartache.
    Most times, what eat ladies (I had encountered) up is unforgiveness rather than
    letting go.
    ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

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  3. Distance from the person

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    1. My boyfriend recently began detaching himself, breaking communication for no reason. When asked, he had nothing to say even though he was the one that came with baggage which I was willing to accept. After asking myself what I did and realising he started distancing himself when I adviced him to upgrade himself educationally, i just shrugged my shoulders and moved on. E pain me small but I just told myself "e no reach" to hurt my cool heart. I'm single again and moving on in Grace.

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    2. don't worry a good man will locate you @ anonymous 13:51.

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  4. I don't think anyone really recovers from a breakup. It either makes or Mar you. Whatever the case may be, we definitely learn from breakups.

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    1. you are right. My first break up from my first boyfriend damaged me so bad and I never recovered. I don't want to marry anymore because I just couldn't love enough to live with another man. Now I've so grown i can't be bent again. Kai, S****y, you really destroyed me. I wish you told me what I did. Its almost 25 years and I'm still crying alone in secret.

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    2. sister anonymous na you get issues..you needto deal with your emotional baggage. some of you hae unresoles issues that make you cling to another human being for comfort. when they dissapoint as if they betrayed you.howcan you stillbe crying alone for a relationship after 2 years? what did he offer you that you thinkanother human being on Gods green earth does not posses? when you deal with your emotional baggage and insecurities come and thank me later

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    3. Anonymous 13:56 you must be kidding me to hold someone for 25 years and you are still crying over one prick when there are millions of prick in the world. Immediately he said is over you let go and move on.

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    4. A huge untrue statement. People recover from heartbreaks all the time. Become better sef.

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  5. Have it a d back of ur mind dt human being wud hurt u, why? Cos dey are not perfect nau. God shd be d only person u shd put ur hope on. If u av dis firmly fixed in ur head, nthin wud shock u. No 2, fry chicken and munch, aye o pe meji!

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  6. Straight to the arms of the second person. No time abeg. Na small cry I dey cry and we move.

    At least, that's how I used to do it.

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    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ they are coming for you

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    2. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ they are coming for you

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    3. Different strokes for different folks. Mine is the opposite of what you wrote. Although in the past,i use to.

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    4. Awon don't put all your eggs in one basket! I hail lol

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    5. Eka, we are in the same boat o

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    6. I cry small and look for someone to give me small joy.

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    7. @ Eka you are funny... Though i had never encounter heart break but i think i will just move on immediately but give my self break before considering another relationship.

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    8. @ Eku this method is when you have more than one guy at a time but what of those that have one at a time this method will not work.

      i will have to think about having two guys at the same time maybe when i am ready to love again.

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  7. While growing up,thought going into another relationship immediately after a breakup was the best so as to allow me heal fast but it's not true and now i know better.

    Give your self time to heal. Cry and weep all you want. Take yourself: so when you finally heal,it goes off you entirely before considering another. To me,its the best form of healing from a breakup.

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    1. This is so true Tbabe ๐Ÿ‘Œ. I've experienced this and I can boldly say that is the best way to deal with it

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    2. best comment...best advice...this here, is the truthful/realest solution to a heartbreak!

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  8. Occupy my mind/thoughts with other things eg, books, comedy movies, food, new stuff (clothes, shoes, handbags etc), cry whenever it comes, delete his pictures from my phone, ask God to take away thoughts of him from my mind.
    Above all, give it time.
    Time heals all wounds.

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  9. Break up is one of the hardest things, especially if feelings were involved. I've been heartbroken, it felt like my world had ended. I cried my eyes out, lost appetite, listened to sad love songs, had friends comfort me. I realised doing all that just worsen things, and made me sadder. So, I just kept myself busy with work. I love reading, I did MORE of that. Hung out more with friends. I cut off all means of communications, blocked the numbers as well. Most people have rebounds, I didn't. Would have made things messier for me. I didn't even want a closure. I realised he had his life to live, and I had mine.

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  10. Few relationships that I have had, I broke it up myself due to one reason or the other. I get over it by:

    1) I delete your number so I am not forced to call or text you.

    2) If you are the stubborn type I will block you on my Whatzapp so you don't get in touch with me.

    3) Non of my exes are ever friends/followers on my FB or I.G. I do just WhatsApp so there is no way you can stalk me and it will prevent unfriending/unfollowing you when the ship stops sailing .

    4) I delete your pictures or our pictures together.

    5) I focus my mind on other things.

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  11. First, I cut contact. I stop communication..that goes a long way to help the healing process. Anything that reminds me of the person, I remove it. Then, if it's to cry..fine, feel bad, sad, mourn..but the next day, we meeuuvvvvvve✌️

    I hangout, go to places, meet other people, talk about it with friends, get busy generally. It helps me alot.

    The most important thing is to always have it at the back of your mind that people can & will disappoint at any time. Again, I don't isolate myself, once I begin to see inconsistency, I'm always on the alert. No time, I guard my heart, I tell myself "e dey happen", learn my lessons & meeuuvvvvvve!!

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  12. I made sure everything that reminds me of the person is removed, delete pictures and contacts so I don't get tempted to reach out and then completely detest everything about the person. This helps me to heal faster after which i'll remove hatred from my heart towards the person.

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  13. If you're a man then you will be fine but if you're a woman just take each day at a time. STOP ALL CONTACT WITH YOUR EX. I know why I am sayin this. you do not have to block him unless u feel seeing his pics will prevent u from moving on. Either way instagram and other social media have options of hiding people's posts and stories from your view. Blocking him will show him you were seriously hurt and emotional over him, so I won
    t advice unless u really really must block him. Also do not agree to any stupid friendship. guys use this to keep you on shelf in case they don't find ur replacement and i don't think you want to add insult on top of injury by being one of his options.

    Next you need to give yourself time to cry. if you can take days off to cry and sulk then do so. this is important if not you may find yourself crying in public or at work etc. you need to give yourself time to heal completely. STAY OFF SOCIAL MEDIA N definitely do not stalk him or any of his romantic interests. DO NOT POST SAD QUOTES or anything to shade him, he will feel important n may even laugh at u sef. Plus sad quotes will not change his mind or bring him back. I always smh when i see girls posting quotes hoping the guy will care. guys never care.

    watch cooking videos and makeup videos and learn other new skills and crafts, exercise n work on your dream body, start a business, new passion or hobby. be so busy that by the end of the day u are too tiredn occupied to remember to be sad. When u are done with the grieving, then get some good friends to hang out with, meet new people especially guys that are way more attractive and richer than your ex. In time you will forget he ever existed. It definitely worked for me and I never thought I would get over him. Pls pls i will say again, do not create fake profiles to stalk him, it will elongate your process of moving on. When he sees you have moved on (they always sense it idunno how), he will try to crawl his way back. i don't want you waiting for him to come back tho cus Hopefully then u will have completely moved on

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    1. "Do not post sad quotes or anything to shade him". Beautiful annon. That's it. Cause it makes one look immature.

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    2. Applaud ๐Ÿ‘
      Everything you wrote is 100%

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    3. Anonyms 13:33 you said it all.

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  14. I believe true love starts after marriage and l don't have sex in my relationships. Also when l get into a relationship, it's solely for the purpose of marriage. So moving on is very easy for me.

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  15. its been 15months now since he walked out of the marriage. he gave reasons of an issue that happened when we were still dating. if people hear they would wonder if i used jazz on him and his eyes just opened after 7years! there was nothing i didnt take in the marriage, cheatings, insults from his family. Yes i feel like i failed my kids. Some days i am so happy, some other days i feel like a failure like this morning; i was just angry for no reason. I have had to date someone just to see if the pain goes, but it is temporary. He wants me but i make him know we cant be together because he is married even though he is a muslim and his family dont mind. But i do and cant be a second fiddle especially as i am not a muslim.

    i long for my own man. I am filled with pain and anger and yes it has affected my relationship with God. I want to be happy, make my kids happy by being a better person. But its so hard because this wasnt how i wanted my life to be. God help me! Please i need advice, do i file for divorce? Mr ex has refused to file which he threatened to, he has said he isnt returning and doesnt fail to remind me at any given opportunity even though his mum tells people otherwise. But i want to move on emotionally and spiritually......Helpppppp!!!

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    1. File for divorce. He doesn't want the marriage and you yourself have cheated on him with a married man. So what are you waiting for? Seriously?

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    2. seperation or diorceis not an easy place emotionally so your feelings are justified..your husband walked out of the marriage so he is the one who did not fulfil his part of the deal. yes God hates diorce but you did your part so you dont hae to be guilty. so pls file for a diorce, you cannot put your life on hold for a man you hae not seen for more than a year. just take each day as it comes and keep yourself busy. dont date for now, just do stuff you like to do and be sensitie to Gods leading. God can gie you a second chance at loe with a good man so just take each day and purpose to be happy

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    3. o ahead and file for divorce, marriage or being with a man is not the only way one can be happy.

      having children should give you joy. if you don't et o of the past you will not be able to love another man.

      open up your heart for another man to come in and love you, stop holding bac except you still love a man that walked away from you when you needed hi most. Move on and let someone else love you because not all men are the same.

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  16. Block the number and profile across all sm accounts, delete photos. One week or more and I'm over it. Onto the next, we move!

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  17. 1. Cry, yes cry all you want and dnt let anybody tell you not to cry over a man/woman. Crying eases the pain
    2. Occupy your self with work or an hobby
    3. Surround yourself with family and loved ones
    4. Forgive the person...dnt plan or plot revenge, dnt spend the whole day wishing evil against the person ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    But heartbreak is not for softies like us๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข

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  18. I remember when I broke up with my ex hubby, he said so many hurtful things to me (nobody will want an after one like you, a single mother with all these your stretch marks ) , I actually felt really sad but 2 months later I met a guy, a very handsome rich guy o, he was chasing me with everything in him, I felt I was not good enough but I decided to be vocal, I told him about my baby and he was like wow, why would anyone treat you wrongly, this guy spoilt me and my child silly, I decided to sleep with him just to show him the stretch marks and all so he can see the real me and choose, to my surprise he even fell deeper in love, that guy changed my life, he made me adore myself more, I never knew there were men who loved that way, we eventually broke up but my life never remained the same, I never dated anyone less after him and I had 100 percent confidence, I’m married now to an amazing man and I’m still grateful I dated him that time, he helped me move on.

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    1. Hi, would really love to know u more. I am a single mum of one. I experienced exactly what u went through but have body image issues. Also pls tell a babe how to meet other single guys. It's been three years now

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  19. I cry, I don't bottle up my worries crying makes me feel better, then I give myself time to heal by engaging myself in activities

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    1. wow! never allow anyone to bring you down no matter what.

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  20. I dated someone for three good years. If a prophet had told me that he would dump me,i would have insulted the living hell out of him. My mum asked me to send his name and parent's name so that she can pray on it and i sent it. My mum's friend who happened to be a prophetess prayed on the name and asked how long we had been together. I told her it's 3 years and she said if not for the number of years we had been together, she would have asked me to end the relationship as his family were terrible people. She further said i should pray about it myself and gave me Psalms to read with 7 days prayer and fasting. I went ahead with the prayer and fasting and on the last day i had a dream that he left me. After the dream,i still didn't believe that he would leave. I started noticing some changes in his attitude towards me after some month. He stopped calling frequently,he stopped sending me money,he became repulsive and snapped at all i did. Long story short,we broke up. I felt like i was going to run mad,i was depressed and cried all the time. I became thin and ugly and extremely withdrawn. I consoled myself by always going to church and joining the work force in church. Luckily for me my younger sister came to stay with me in school for about 3 months and i started thinking less about him. I focused on my academics and hung out more with people. It's two year now and i met a good guy who proposed marriage to me immediately we met but i told him to still hold on for me till i'm done with school. I'm through with school now and awaiting a good job so that i can get married to the love of my life. Do I regret living him? Not at all. My fiance spoils me silly and is so mature.

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    Replies
    1. every disappointment is a blessing. Congratulations to you.

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  21. Break up is not easy especially if you are loyal and gave your all but then what happened has happened,cry if you can and move on,no time to dwell on old things......

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  22. Delete contact, block and move! My first ever heartbreak, I needed someone to talk to and I went to our fellowship president then in my 300L. I told him everything and how I even found out my guy was already dating someone else, he counselled me and then advised I deleted everything that reminded me of him. He asked me not to even confront him. I did. I just locked up and cried in secret till I was done. It was the guy who was now looking for us to talk and apologising over "nothing" cos I told him he did not offend me. Falling inlove with someone else isn't a crime. He said he wanted us to keep being friends but I told him no need as it would never be the same.

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  23. Delete and block numbers. Delete pictures, go out and best of all date someone else as soon as possible ๐Ÿฆ‹

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  24. Start going on date with other people. Also dont always give your 100% love to a man, they will mess you up. Im a mum still have several back up here in London. The only boy that can have my genuine love is my son, to the rest is acting

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  25. i don't let anything give me sleepless night or make me not to eat food. Immediately it comes i will just tell myself life goes on and shake it off.

    i know is not easy but that has been my way of doing anything that did not favour me.

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