STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARIED TO A NARCISSIST
Good day everyone, this a call for help…
I sent a chronicle about a friend in an abusive marriage years ago.
Now, this my friend has been suicidal lately, and she is talking about it with only me and when i advised her to talk to her husband and she said that he caused whatever she was going through.
I dont think walking away is her solution because the pastor that told her to do so a few years ago became her enemy while i cant also suggest that because i am divorced too.
Please is there any good therapist in Lagos or she should visit the psychiatric hospital for help before it gets out of hands.
She is scaring me with the suicide talk and i dont have her husband or any of her relatives number.
She feels her husbands loves and pays attention to their kids more than her.
She said that she hasnt achieved anything while her husband is doing well and so many other things...
She said she is married to a narcissist.....
Your help will be appreciated.
Look for a way to get a number of someone in her immediate surrounding before you wake up one day to hear that she has done it....
I wished that when BV Oluyomi told me she wanted unalife herself, i had looked for number of her mum whom she said was the reason she wanted to do it....Sometimes letting them know what their actions has impacted on the person shocks them into stopping it..please do everything that you can to contact someone from her home front…..
Cant you follow her home or check her check her social media handle for family members you can slide in to their DM.
Please contact any of her family member for help on this. Check her phone if you must abeg.
ReplyDeleteThank you stella, i will do as you have said.
ReplyDeleteFor you to be so prompt in responding means you mean for her.
DeleteSome will drop chronicles and will not even respond or come back to give update.
I hope she finds a reason to keep living.
How can you call someone your friend and you don’t have a contact number of her family? The term friend has been bastardised by some Nigerians.
ReplyDeleteAI Overview
friend/frɛnd/A friend is a person whom you know well, like, and trust, sharing a mutual bond of affection and loyalty outside of family or romantic ties.
Emphasis on “know well”. Knowledge of your friend is vital and trust is essentially relevant.
I would advise you to re-evaluate your relationship with your friend and step in if necessary to ensure she gets optimal care and support because someone being suicidal is not a joke, the situation requires professionals in that field.
I would say, forget her husband because he is responsible for her ordeal, go look for her parents and siblings because they got her best interest at heart, informed them of what is going on so they can take it from there.
If you try to manage it on your own and she dies, you will have a lot to explain to her family and police.
My dear is not every friend that gives our husband or family number oh
DeleteI used to have the husband's number but when i changed my phone few years back, i lost it and didnt ask for it because i dont have any reason to want to communicate with him, especially when he started mistreating her.
DeleteAs for her family members, she is not even close to them, she comes from a family where siblings dont vibe with each other.
She is only close to her parents and she said thats the only reason she hasnt done it.
I even know her more than he siblings.....i am just scared because she has started telling her first child she would be travelling soon.
If i am not concerned about her, i wouldnt be writting about her here.
Anyone who loves themselves, family, kids, and God will never think of unalifing themselves just because of another person. There is a solution for every difficult situation. I pray she finds heelp on time.
ReplyDeleteDOZZYBEST.
Sorry to say it's more complicated than that.
DeleteDoesn’t Nigeria have a suicide hotline or crisis line? Can you not do some serious research and see how you can take her in to a psychiatric hospital for emergency care? The fact that she is talking and giving hints mean that she is at a stage where she can be helped and hasn’t planned anything. You have a window of opportunity. Even social service agencies, charities, and women focused NGOs should be able to help. I wish you both all the best
ReplyDeleteThank you, i have been searching since on sunday but the info isnt complete, thats why i am here.....
DeleteOnce you mention to them that you have a friend having suicidal thoughts, they act very very fast
DeleteSee if you can coax her into coming to stay with you for a week or two under guise of doing a course or learning a skill. Or if she can travel to another town (with you) but make sure there is a course she can do there and let her tell her husband this as an excuse. DO NOT TELL HER HUSBAND NOTHING ABOUT HER ME TAL STATE. If he is behind her predicament, he would only apply more pressure. A person who does not love you and has never loved you will not all of a sudden start loving you or caring I. The way that you want them to. SHE NEEDS TO GET AWAY FROM HER HOUSE FOR A BIT. better still if she can travel somewhere for a while. Personally, I would runaway for a bit. I did that once when I was going through HELL in my marriage and it gave me the courage I needed to leave. It was hard and it still is but the price is my mind; my freedom and my peace.
ReplyDeletePls act fast on this issue before it gets out of hand .
ReplyDeleteIs your friendship more important to you than her life?.
ReplyDeleteMen loving their kids more than wife is a normal thing na,she should be grateful her husband love her kid.go to her social media page and locate her siblings,check her posts and comments section.some women are their own problems .
ReplyDeleteVisit her and make sure you see her husband or ask people around her house of her husband,'s contact without her knowledge.
ReplyDeletePlease, take up Stella's advice and find a way around it. Thanks for doing this for her
ReplyDeleteShe must give you her parents number. So that they can support her . There is no therapy in Nigeria. See if she can change churches as thats the therapy most Nigerians have .
ReplyDeleteIf she wont engage with these, then you must disengage for your own mental health.
Because if you become mentally ill too, you will be left OYO in Nigeria
Poster she is lucky to have you as a friend. However you can only do your best. If you can, pray for her. If truly her hubby is a narc, then she will definitely be feeling worthless and depressed. I personally think they are demonic people, I mean narcs. They never feel for their victims and they never change. If he is a narc , separating herself may help. But is he really? He loves the kids and to me that is a plus. Also, your friend has to learn that happiness is found within and not externally really, or else she will be easily dependent and manipulated by others and still end up disappointed. Try urging her to see a therapist. Try a psychiatry hospital.
DeleteYou are a good friend. I pray you are able to reach out to someone close to her that can talk her out of this and also help her get the necessary help. God bless you 🙏🏾
ReplyDeleteSo help her Lord..
ReplyDeleteStart with encouragement. Give her reason to keep living. Assure her that you will be right there for her even if everybody else fails.
ReplyDeleteConcerning her regrets for lack of achievements, tell her that it is not too late to do it.
Research late bloomers around the world and present to her
Jesus saves.🙏🏾
DeletePray for her.
ReplyDeleteCalm her down and show her that everyone has his own time of visitation from God
Don't argue with her concerning her husband's behaviour. Rather, encourage her to value herself despite what the said husband has done to her.
ReplyDeleteFind a way to let her know that the only thing that can get to her narcissistic husband is her success and not her suicide. If she commits suicide, the man will still find another woman to wreck, and nobody to give negative reports concerning him.
ReplyDeleteGive her faith that she is bigger than that man called husband and therefore needs to be alive for the testimony of her blossoming to be told and lived.
ReplyDeleteAgain, I repeat, let her value herself.
ReplyDeleteIf people don't want you, it does not mean that you are finished. You simply mind your lane and start enjoying your own company.
Let her find something doing if she does not have one already.
ReplyDeleteApart from her husband, do you think she is in competition with you or with another female?
ReplyDeleteFind out why she does not relate well with her siblings. Why? Why?
ReplyDeleteI'd all her life she has been in competition with different ones, it will be extremely hard for her to appreciate what God is doing for her little by little everyday.
ReplyDeleteTake her to the hospital and visit the intensive care unit. Let her see people begging God to take them but God did not take them.
ReplyDeleteShe has a lot to be grateful to God for.
If she can humble herself, she can count her blessings and name them one by one.
Those blessings and achievements that she is yearning for will eventually become hers if she keeps a pure heart and be grateful to God for the little things.
ReplyDeleteSpiritual people say when your husband is progressing and you are not making any headway, just know that he has stolen your glory. He's using your glory. Tell her that she can take back her glory and he'll go back to square one in suffering. All the power to take her glory back is in her hands. It's very simple. She should call back her power with her mouth everyday. It works. Let her reclaim her territory. I didn't even get to where you wrote that he's a narcissist before I said that in my mind.
ReplyDeleteNarcissist are demonic agents sent to ruin the lives of the children of light. People don't really know the original traits of a narcissist.
Such a sad place to be in
ReplyDelete@ Stella please what happened to the BV Oluyomi
ReplyDeleteShe unalifed herself...drank sniper
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeletePlease tell her that she should not kill herself.
ReplyDeletePlease tell her that she should not kill herself.
ReplyDeletePlease tell her that she should not kill herself.
ReplyDeletePlease tell her that she should not kill herself.
ReplyDelete