MIND ON THE BABY;BABY ON THE MIND AFFECTING THINGS
Good day Stella and BVs
Pls oooo,my fellow BVs
I had my baby 8 months ago via the vaginal route,since that time lovemaking with hubby has been painful.
I thought after vaginal childbirth s#x becomes much more enjoyable as the vayjayjay would be lax.
I had no tear,cut or any form of infection during and after birth.
I delivered abroad.
I have gone to hospital,no infections,Dr says i should just relax and engage in longer foreplay,but my dear BVs ,the more the foreplay,the drier i become.
We have resorted to lubricant but i'm almost always in pain.
This has made me to keep running from hubby and s#x and right now is beginning to affect my marriage as Hubby is now over complaining and he now nags at every given opportunity .
Our s#x life was ok before childbirth,i don't know what became of me after childbirth.
Hubby says is cos i think about my baby everytime and that while we are having s#x,i'm always like check baby check baby....
LMAOOO @ check baby check baby!!!.......I think this mind on baby thing while doing something else is so with most first time mothers.
As the dryness and pains ,let me leave you to those who know well to advice you...
I laughed at check the baby check the baby🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteI typed epistle o but there was error while uploading it.
DeleteSummary
My husband and I had same problem that we almost broke up.
This are the things I did, hope it helps.
1)buy baby monitor from jumia 29000 or so since you are abroad it will be easier for you
2)just lay on the bed with your husband gossiping, gisting, cuddling, and laughing. Don't even try to make love... just you and him time.
3)buy lubricant. There is one that stimulates you so you can enjoy sex better.
4)do quickie...not marathon.
Highest 5mins...the more comfortable you get, then you can increase your sessions..infact I told my hubby categorically that I dont want 30mins sex since I am always mentally, emotionally, physically stressed. I later changed the time when I started getting comfortable and as my baby grew.
5)get your husband to help with house shores and taking care of the baby.
This looks helped me alot lot...
6) Drink Zobo made with hibiscus flower and also get Tiger nut...it helped too
Our 2 year marriage almost ended because of this same problem but thank God for wisdom sha...now we are back to enjoying ourselves....
Get nanny too if you can afford it..taking care of a baby is not easy especially if you have a light sleeper like mine
Bv Short Fuse
I typed epistle o but there was error while uploading it.
DeleteSummary
My husband and I had same problem that we almost broke up.
This are the things I did, hope it helps.
1)buy baby monitor from jumia 29000 or so since you are abroad it will be easier for you
2)just lay on the bed with your husband gossiping, gisting, cuddling, and laughing. Don't even try to make love... just you and him time.
3)buy lubricant. There is one that stimulates you so you can enjoy sex better.
4)do quickie...not marathon.
Highest 5mins...the more comfortable you get, then you can increase your sessions..infact I told my hubby categorically that I dont want 30mins sex since I am always mentally, emotionally, physically stressed. I later changed the time when I started getting comfortable and as my baby grew.
5)get your husband to help with house shores and taking care of the baby.
This looks helped me alot lot...
6) Drink Zobo made with hibiscus flower and also get Tiger nut...it helped too
Our 2 year marriage almost ended because of this same problem but thank God for wisdom sha...now we are back to enjoying ourselves....
Get nanny too if you can afford it..taking care of a baby is not easy especially if you have a light sleeper like mine
Bv Short Fuse
I typed epistle o but there was error while uploading it.
DeleteSummary
My husband and I had same problem that we almost broke up.
This are the things I did, hope it helps.
1)buy baby monitor from jumia 29000 or so since you are abroad it will be easier for you
2)just lay on the bed with your husband gossiping, gisting, cuddling, and laughing. Don't even try to make love... just you and him time.
3)buy lubricant. There is one that stimulates you so you can enjoy sex better.
4)do quickie...not marathon.
Highest 5mins...the more comfortable you get, then you can increase your sessions..infact I told my hubby categorically that I dont want 30mins sex since I am always mentally, emotionally, physically stressed. I later changed the time when I started getting comfortable and as my baby grew.
5)get your husband to help with house shores and taking care of the baby.
This looks helped me alot lot...
6) Drink Zobo made with hibiscus flower and also get Tiger nut...it helped too
Our 2 year marriage almost ended because of this same problem but thank God for wisdom sha...now we are back to enjoying ourselves....
Get nanny too if you can afford it..taking care of a baby is not easy especially if you have a light sleeper like mine
Bv Short Fuse
I am the opposite of you o🤣. It's even hubby that will try to make sure all is in order.
DeleteContact Jarumah. She has these sex chocolates and syrup she sells I hear I really good.
I'm not the poster but thank you bv Short fuse.
DeleteHahahahaha check baby
DeleteRelax and be taken kiaruf. Its legal.
Delete1. Buy a scented candle
Delete2. Reduce the light while at it
3. He should give you a serious head/fellatio and badass foreplay
4. Remove your mind completely from your baby. He/she is fine.
5. Relax and enjoy your hubby's dick
6. Buy condom that stimulates
7. Always think of sex with your hubby as fun not chore
I had the same issue and these were the ways we overcame it.
Try eating tiger nuts first thing in the morning before sleeping with your husband in the night. Try to relax and enjoy your husband.
ReplyDeleteBig yes to tiger nuts and blend watermelon with cinnamon and cloves,you will thank me later.
DeleteTiger nuts, watermelon and cinnamon and cloves does it work for men!?
DeleteMadam please pray cause devil wants to sets confusion hence the dryness
ReplyDeleteNa so!
DeleteBecause it isn't natural for a woman to undergo physical, emotional and psychological changes after childbirth.
Nooo! God did not create a dry vagina.
You people's devil be doing the mostest.
Wow what a comment. Is everything the devil's hand.
DeleteLovelace
Thank you for saving me from typing @Kami..
DeleteUntop vagina dryness.. PRAY! Na God go come oil am?
Lol...Tade, spiritual lubricant
DeleteTheir devil is so powerful and are so mindful of him.
DeleteSo me that hardly or rarely get wet..na devil dey do me ni??Una dey try oooo..Smh
DeleteI think you need to see a sex coach/therapist. Check them out on IG.I don't want to mention names here. That check baby check baby got me laughing though.Lol
ReplyDeleteThis is seriously serious and i just hope it doesn't escalate more than this or cause more problems for you in your marriage
ReplyDeleteYou have transferred your affection to your baby.. Let your husband woe you romantically again..
ReplyDeleteWoe ko, woe ye the devil ni. Mtscheww 😒
DeleteI also need that advice, sex is like once in a blue since I gave birth too, I'm forcing myself to adjust but the drive is no more there. I don't want to push my Prince Charming to the wall biko.
ReplyDeleteFor me, pregnancy and the stress of breastfeeding and caring for a new born affect most women's libido. Sometimes, tigernut, coconut and dates combo helped with the dryness. Other times, nothing happened till I weaned my babies and stress reduced.
DeleteThanks a lot, will try those.
DeletePlease you have to relax and spend some quality time with your hubby.. since you said you have done all necessary rest,my advice is,let him be doing it gently and continuously with time your body will relax.This issue is about your mood
ReplyDeleteHope your husband is not hitting you hard,?
ReplyDeletePlease check for ovarian cyst. That thing can cause painful sex . I suffered from it . I would have recommended the drug I took but it can’t be sold over the counter. Visit an ob/gyn.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣check baby, check baby. Poster, answer oga, answer oga.
ReplyDeleteYou can also eat gorontula, it works wonders.
ReplyDeleteThis life wahala no dey ever finish.
ReplyDelete8months is a little while... Instead of Oga complaining why not try everything possible to make you relax and want him ?
You both should put in an effort in this. Its time to be extra romantic towards each other, most expecially your Oga, he needs to put in more effort, create a romantic and loving ambience, you can tell him things that turn you on and let him play around it....rather than nagging
If its a psychological thing then you might visit a doc.
I no sabi anything oh, but something will work for you both, just put in more effort. It is well with you poster.
It is normal, you are not alone. Happened to me with my first, I personally think it’s the trauma that you suffered consciously and unconsciously. Find time even if it’s an hour in a week or month and spend it completely focused on your partner and gradually build on that, you don’t need to rush to sex if you’re not mentally ready. I quarreled with my hubby that he was moving too fast(fucking too fast) when we started being intimate after my first. With my second, na me initiate am cos the time I spent away from being intimate with my first created some gap intimately for me, it made lovemaking seem like a chore and I don’t want that.
ReplyDeleteIt's not uncommon.
DeleteFast and pray. Like the Scripture says, James 5:13 is anyone in trouble/suffering, let her pray.
ReplyDeleteFrom experience, I will advise you to take a lot of juice, especially pineapple juice while you fast.
If you both are believers in Christ, encourage your husband to join you in the fast.🤗🤗
My dear,try and relax and do the things that you like.Dont force yourself to be emotionally ready for your husband...chill.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile,exercise and eat well.
I would have advised you to take 1000mg of evening primrose oil for wetness but you are still breastfeeding..maybe you should ask your doctor if it's safe for you.
Goodluck.
If you can get someone you trust to mind the baby, let your husband concentrate on external stimulation; clitoris.
ReplyDeleteGet you well lubricated before penetration.
Please read 1 Timothy 2:15 and take note of the conditions set.
ReplyDeletecheers.
May God have mercy on you and I. I don't understand the way we twist scriptures and make it seem as if anyone going through some sorta challenge must have erred... against the word of God. 🤷♀️
Delete@twins
DeleteDid we. Read same scriptures?? Where did it mention err or sin?
How dare you!!!! Are you saying that women who died during childbirth are bad people? That they didn't "continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety"? Oh my God!!!! You are a wicked soul!!! A very wicked soul!!!! Ha!!!
DeleteMany foreplay before bros login....
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about that poster. Most mothers have varying sexual experiences after childbirth. For some, when they are still breastfeeding, the sexual drive is reduced because of the hormones. Give it time, it will be fine. As someone said, try aphrodisiac like Tigernut, Date and Cononut, then, blend together. Also, Zobo too can help. All the best
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm..... sex is a chore..maybe if I get some young blood. My husband will probably be satisfied with having sex once a year. The thought of any form of intimacy with him disgusts me.
ReplyDeletePoster try alcohol. Perhaps it will relax you.
Anonymous swears I swear we are almost d same except .......
DeletePoster it's normal pls, you experience dryness while having sex cuz you're breastfeeding. Believe me after breastfeeding your baby, you will be fine. Am talking out of experience, it happened to me with my three kids. Once your baby stop sucking your breast milk, you will get back to cruise. Pls stop visiting doctors and all that, it's your nature, you have no infection. You can also try Tiger nuts juice. Relax and stay blessed
ReplyDeleteJust get combination of dates and tigernuts,it will boost your libido. It's not easy for first time mum at all,oga should please understand
ReplyDeleteFirstly, congratulations on your newborn baby 🎈💞
ReplyDeleteYou need to find a balance! You can't concentrate on one and deprived the other. Your affection should be balanced both between your husband and your newborn.
Don't over think things and don't be too hard on yourself or your husband.
Don't forget, everything is in the mind.
I pray peace and harmony in your home 🤗
Please try making okro soup and ear a lot of it
ReplyDeleteLovemaking also has to do with the mind.u need to set ur mind to it,start by craving ur husband,sending erotic texts while he is at work,try to set ur mind to want him sexually,engage in foreplay,u can give him a head,if u live alone sex doesn’t have to start only on d bed.u can start anywhere.drink lots of water,take pineapple,dates and lots of watermelon before sex,take ur mind off ur baby for the little time,enjoy!
ReplyDelete👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
DeleteIf you have done tests and there's nothing wrong,I think it's your mind,relax,use natural aphrodisiac(goron tula,tiger nut and dates,honey)the list is endless.I wish you well,sending love and light.💖💖
ReplyDeleteGiving birth is traumatic to the body and mind, even if there's no tear. I was having the same problem as you and my obgyn kept saying that I was fine and that I had physically healed from delivering my daughter. I persisted (bc the pain was persisting) and I went to a pelvic floor therapist. I went for a few months and she gave me a lot of exercises to relax and stretch my pelvic muscles. My muscles were over tight(overcompensating) due to pregnancy and vaginal delivery. I did my exercises consistently and noticed a huge difference. The pain has become much less, although I still use A LOT of lubricant bc breastfeeding makes the vagia dry. Find a pelvic floor therapist if you can. You could also probably find youtube videos online. Highly recommend it.
ReplyDeleteIt affected me too but in my own case, I realize it was stress. Get someone to help you at home such that you have enough time to relax. Open up to your hubby what is happening to you, he'll understand you weren't that way before. Watch porn with him. Slowly you'll get back on track
ReplyDeleteTry Goron Tula, thank me later.
ReplyDeletePoster, try relaxing an hour or 2 before sex.. Stress makes vagina dry..I enjoy sex more when am lactating..A woman's body is complex walahi...
ReplyDeleteAlso If the husband is involved in caring for the child there will be more time for the wife to relax and think about sex. Everything is not up to the woman
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your baby.
ReplyDeleteSince the doctor says you're free from infection, I'll suggest you try natural aphrodisiac such as tigernuts, Goron tula and Cloves; with time and consistency you'll notice the change.
1. Use lubricant that was made for anal seks
ReplyDelete2. Do women in your family have history of ovarian cysts? I'm suspecting endometriosis.
3. Go for physiotherapy. Let them focus on your pelvic area. You may not get those specialists in naija o. But you will thank me later. Pelvic physio will involve some pain at first but you feel the difference when you're done.
4. Buy something called the "ohnut". Google it.