If you are busy now,save it to read for later!!!
It is the topic of a cheating partner, which is the subject of so many chronicles on this blog. I see the way BVs and Stella advice sometimes and I am always amused. Not because the advices are wrong but I feel BVs need to add perspective when giving advice on cheating partners.
Fifth reason, as weird as this may sound, cheating is the only thing keeping some martial sex lives going in some marriages today. Just like for those of you that gets stimulated by watching porn, cheating for some men has become a way of mentally stimulating them during sex with their partners. This is so because they are so used to their wives’ body that the don’t get simulated like they used to do when they first met her. This also explains they reasons why once a man starts cheating on his partner, chances are that he won’t stop because he will keep going for more “stimulations”. Some men after years of marriage do not even get erection at the sight of their partner’s nakedness, but having such mental images of a hot girl they had outside can spark the mood on. You are welcome to disagree with me.
Finally, cheating is a choice. For a smart young man with a wonderful family, a thriving career and a successful life ahead. Before a he decides to cheat, he has already counted the cost and made a decision before he went ahead to do it. Many men have already considered the consequences of their actions if they were caught and the damages it will do to their family, career, societal status and the scandal that will follow.
''This is going to be a very controversial write-up as most of the BVs here are really critical of this subject, and on some religious and moral standards, it is wrong and unjustifiable no matter the circumstance where it happens or what caused it. It is inexcusable to some people.
It is the topic of a cheating partner, which is the subject of so many chronicles on this blog. I see the way BVs and Stella advice sometimes and I am always amused. Not because the advices are wrong but I feel BVs need to add perspective when giving advice on cheating partners.
I do believe if young women have more understanding on why some men cheat, it will give them better view of things and how to handle such situations other than just leaving the relationship just because the man cheated.
It’s a question people especially woman ask. My wife (by the way I have been married for 7years) has always asked me the same question…WHY DO MEN CHEAT. Especially men cheating on their perfect and beautiful wives/girlfriends. Why cheat on your partner with a woman that’s not even up to her standard by any comparison? Weird right? Here are my reasons, from my personal experience.
PS: Before I go on, I want you to know that these are my personal opinion, you don’t need to agree with me. Also, I won’t encourage a man cheating on his partner and won’t even advise a woman who is fed up with a cheating partner to remain in such relationship. It’s your life and your decision to make. My views may sound misogynistic to some of you. But just read with an open mind.
First reason, from the psychological aspect. Men are wired to cheat. It takes a very disciplined man for him to cheat especially when he has all the resources and time to do so. It takes a man that has really trained himself mentally and emotionally to a very mature level not to cheat on his partner. It has nothing to do with religion or age.
It’s a question people especially woman ask. My wife (by the way I have been married for 7years) has always asked me the same question…WHY DO MEN CHEAT. Especially men cheating on their perfect and beautiful wives/girlfriends. Why cheat on your partner with a woman that’s not even up to her standard by any comparison? Weird right? Here are my reasons, from my personal experience.
PS: Before I go on, I want you to know that these are my personal opinion, you don’t need to agree with me. Also, I won’t encourage a man cheating on his partner and won’t even advise a woman who is fed up with a cheating partner to remain in such relationship. It’s your life and your decision to make. My views may sound misogynistic to some of you. But just read with an open mind.
First reason, from the psychological aspect. Men are wired to cheat. It takes a very disciplined man for him to cheat especially when he has all the resources and time to do so. It takes a man that has really trained himself mentally and emotionally to a very mature level not to cheat on his partner. It has nothing to do with religion or age.
I am a father of three boys and I see how they behave. When you get them a new toy, they abandon the old one like they never existed. The same applies to men, they easily get bored after been with a woman for a long time, they get tired of seeing one body and feels the need for more sexual stimulation. Men validate their egos by the number of women they have slept with, for some of them it’s just sport having other woman.
Second reason, societal and cultural reasons. Mean cheat because they know the can and get away with it. Some religions even encourage having multiple wives. Some culture encourages you to have more than one wife if you want to become a “chief”. Most family issues revolving around a cheating husband in family disputes mostly (with some exceptions) always end with the woman accepting her fate and just “bear” for the sake of the children or keeping her home. Some are even told to the quit if they can’t cope.
Second reason, societal and cultural reasons. Mean cheat because they know the can and get away with it. Some religions even encourage having multiple wives. Some culture encourages you to have more than one wife if you want to become a “chief”. Most family issues revolving around a cheating husband in family disputes mostly (with some exceptions) always end with the woman accepting her fate and just “bear” for the sake of the children or keeping her home. Some are even told to the quit if they can’t cope.
In as much as it is unfair to the woman, but it sure gives more impetus for the men to cheat. As long as such religious and cultural bias exist in our society men while continue to cheat. Because of the financial burden of having more wives, men these days just stick with one and having others on the side.
Third reason, for self-compensation (whatever that means…but I will explain). A lot of guys especially in Nigeria here grew up in lack, they couldn’t have the best girls while they were in school because they could not afford it. Some didn’t even have decent sex till they were well into their mid to late 20s. Then, after the “hustle don pure”, they see having multiple woman as means of compensating for all the years of “lack”. Added to that is the fact of some men knowing they can have any (but of course not all) woman they want because they can afford it. I have seen very faithful “poor” men change into something else after they got money.
Third reason, for self-compensation (whatever that means…but I will explain). A lot of guys especially in Nigeria here grew up in lack, they couldn’t have the best girls while they were in school because they could not afford it. Some didn’t even have decent sex till they were well into their mid to late 20s. Then, after the “hustle don pure”, they see having multiple woman as means of compensating for all the years of “lack”. Added to that is the fact of some men knowing they can have any (but of course not all) woman they want because they can afford it. I have seen very faithful “poor” men change into something else after they got money.
I will be a little personal on this to drive this point home. One of the compensation ways for “enjoying” myself after staying offshore; and stressing myself working and solving family issues is by getting a “third party sex”. For those asking what about your wife, how does she compensate herself, what if she also cheats on you how will you feel. My answer is, she compensates herself by asking for expensive gifts and I do my best. As for her cheating on me, I have always told her to take her chances let’s see how it goes after all what’s good for the geese is good for the gander.
Fourth reason, sex is not love. A man can sleep with forty women and not have any emotional attachment to them (maybe I am speaking for myself). A man can love his wife and worship her to the moon but still sleep with another woman without feeling guilty about it. For lots of men, sex is just a physical thing and a means of getting some “release”. It is even worsen by the situation we have found ourselves in the society today where sex is now contractual, “you scratch my balls (sorry back), I pay your bills”. And everybody is happy. Some men have now become community “dicks” but they don’t play with their wives and family. For them, they sex is just sport and ego booster.
Fourth reason, sex is not love. A man can sleep with forty women and not have any emotional attachment to them (maybe I am speaking for myself). A man can love his wife and worship her to the moon but still sleep with another woman without feeling guilty about it. For lots of men, sex is just a physical thing and a means of getting some “release”. It is even worsen by the situation we have found ourselves in the society today where sex is now contractual, “you scratch my balls (sorry back), I pay your bills”. And everybody is happy. Some men have now become community “dicks” but they don’t play with their wives and family. For them, they sex is just sport and ego booster.
Fifth reason, as weird as this may sound, cheating is the only thing keeping some martial sex lives going in some marriages today. Just like for those of you that gets stimulated by watching porn, cheating for some men has become a way of mentally stimulating them during sex with their partners. This is so because they are so used to their wives’ body that the don’t get simulated like they used to do when they first met her. This also explains they reasons why once a man starts cheating on his partner, chances are that he won’t stop because he will keep going for more “stimulations”. Some men after years of marriage do not even get erection at the sight of their partner’s nakedness, but having such mental images of a hot girl they had outside can spark the mood on. You are welcome to disagree with me.
Finally, cheating is a choice. For a smart young man with a wonderful family, a thriving career and a successful life ahead. Before a he decides to cheat, he has already counted the cost and made a decision before he went ahead to do it. Many men have already considered the consequences of their actions if they were caught and the damages it will do to their family, career, societal status and the scandal that will follow.
They already know before they did it. The fact that they still went ahead to do it means they are ready for the consequences. People in the more advanced society are less likely to cheat because the society and legal system highly frown on it and is more skewed toward favoring the woman. The same also applies to cheating woman, of course my wife will consider the consequences of her cheating on me before she goes ahead to do it. So for those chronicle posters coming here to seek for advice, just know that your husband has counted the price for cheating on you and most likely willing to pay it.
So in conclusion, CHEATING IS BAD. Just like every other sin. But before you take any rash decision on a cheating partner. Always weigh the options properly, even the BVs shouting “leave him” “leave him” are still trying to get their lives figured out. Always try to see the big pictures of things. Everything is not just black or white…they are always grey areas
On a final note. I am a cheating husband. Am not proud of my actions and I don’t justify it. Am only asking for some understanding. I do hope you do.
Peace… E go be!
So in conclusion, CHEATING IS BAD. Just like every other sin. But before you take any rash decision on a cheating partner. Always weigh the options properly, even the BVs shouting “leave him” “leave him” are still trying to get their lives figured out. Always try to see the big pictures of things. Everything is not just black or white…they are always grey areas
On a final note. I am a cheating husband. Am not proud of my actions and I don’t justify it. Am only asking for some understanding. I do hope you do.
Peace… E go be!
Issa ghen ghen something
ReplyDeleteI just had to book space for when I come back to counter
In summary Sire,you cheat cause you know your wife would rather suffer in a limousine than on a bicycle. That even if she finds out she isn't going anywhere so what the heck!!!
DeleteSo long as you keep loading her with gifts and taking care of family responsibilities, cheating once in a while is payment for that?
For me,I think you cheat cause you always have willing partners. The type that is so well rounded in almost every topic/area. I think that's what they call sapiosexual now abi? Your type dosent cheat with groupies but with well read and intellectual women.
I have just been laughing the whole time after reading your piece.
I hope you have worn your tortoise shell cause you will need it for the bashing.
May God help us women
BVs will drag him by the errr...balls today
Delete🤣🤣🤣
Eh...since we are all about the puns today, I must say, this writer seems to have brass balls.
Delete🤣🤣🤣
We always pick men first when it comes to cheating, it takes two to tango.
DeleteI have always try to envisage what the world will look like if all men stick to one woman,..
It's a very sunny afternoon and so i beg, don't get me pissed. What sort of nonsense epistle is this? I skipped most of your write up because i knew you were going to spew trash. I'm very upset! Nonsense and iru! You compensate your wife by buying her expensive gifts? Women you have suffered! In all this, i pity your poor sons. They'll grow up thinking your nonsense lifestyle is the right way and the cycle goes on and on. Parents, the onus is on you to raise your kids according to the teachings of Christ. May God save us from bad parents and parenting. As for you Mr. man, you decided to post this nonsense on a day when people are less busy. Issorite! You've brought in an ant infested firewood and expect bvs not to tear you apart? I hope you have a tough skin?
DeleteFor those rationalizing infidelity and finds validation in it, I hope after your earthly sojourn, your Creator will understand why it is not possible not to be an adulterer.
DeleteTruth Kamikaze
DeleteI'm sure he is ready for the gbas gbos
Am sure the writer already knows that he will be dragged like a faulty I better pass my neighbour generator. It takes a ball of brass to post such write-up on SDK blog. But like he said..its his opinion. So go figure
DeleteEvery word he wrote is true.
DeleteIt's natural.
But the joy is that men who never cheat exist. I know this.
I also know there are women who are wired not to stick to one man no matter how good he is to her.
I think of those such women and hope more of such exist. I remember one chronicle we read of a polyandous woman, married to two men in this Nigeria!!! I wish she can be up dating us to encourage more young girls with such tendencies not to chicken out.
Yes! What I am saying is everyone should keep true to their nature. Don't bend for any cultural or religious guilt-tripping.
If men realise that it is a rare blessing to be married to a good devoted and faithful woman, they will appreciate us more just as we celebrate the faithful men.
Thank you, Saphire.
Delete@poster, don't you get tired of your car? Why don't you go drive another man's car because it's "hotter" than yours. Don't you get tired of your job? Why don't you walk into another more desirable office to work, your furniture? Your clothing? I dare you to walk into a store and pick out clothing of your choice because they are more exciting than your current clothes. The same logic applies to the nonesense you wrote up there.👆 Men don't cheat, only boys who are not evolved enough to understand the consequences of their actions cheat. It's an evolution thing; a dog humps on every bitch (female dog) in it's environment, so also do men whose stage of evolution is closer to animals than humans.
DeleteSir let me appreciate the effort you put into justifying reasons for masculine cheating. And I quite agree it's your opinion. How I wish most men would put in the same measure curb this inexcusable act.
DeleteYour first reason is not gender base. Women also go through this psychological lapse in discipline too. That most wives and single ladies do not go through with it, doesn't mean we don't have they will. It's just that most of us have contentment in what we have. You were right that it takes a complete discipline not to cheat.
For your second excuse, which is the most agreeable inexcusable misogynistic cultural and religious injustice to womanhood. That's why God gave each of us a conscience, to check our misgivings.
Self-compensation happens with women too. I still have married mates who confesses that they wished they started having sex earlier in their teens and not when they were about to marry or in their marriages. With the manner they express their inadequacy, I wouldn't be surprised if some are cheating too. It's something both genders go through.
Seemingly too, your fourth excuse is true and it happens more that way than women because the psychology of the feminine mind is emotional. While for the male it is physical. And if you can be gracious enough to applaud the woman, this is the main mental reason women are not open to cheating. Because it easily becomes emotional for them. But it doesn't mean that those who could don't walk that lane too. It's like a lady cheating with one of her bosses for extra financial incentive to be able to augment the financial demand at her home. And still wouldn't give up her - in some cases inadequate or lazy husband, marriage for the cheating. No gender owns this ace, men sadly own it more. Due to their physical sexual wiring.
I also agree with the opening paragraph of your fifth excuse. You just failed to realise that it works both ways. The percentage of married men whose bodies have undergone structural abnormalities due to careless. Yet their wives still see them as attractive. Being used to the woman's body is not the issue, the issue is that childbirth as a life with women happened and most like you males too failed to control the fattening of the flesh. Motherhood is a sacrifice that made our breast sag, and bum dropping. It's a glorious sacrifice that the men in our lives put us through - in some instances unwilling. Especially when looking for an obsolete idealism of heirship. Or wanting more children. We bear the pain, the struggles, the turmoils, yet you have the effrontery to body shame us. You think we don't see the six pack dudes who still winks at us? We have been so used to you bodies, whose mental pictures has failed to stimulate us too. But unlike you males, we are more content with your many sexual shortcomings, that we are willing to accept it as the diminishing returns that comes with aging. Where is that sexual vigor you once had? Should we go cheating because it's no longer as durable as it used to?
Your final excuse smacks of masculine ego. You are obviously among the many culturally and socially conditioned men, who hasn't realised that more of today's women also has the financial means to cheat. Look around you carefully, you'd see more women are gainfully employed and less men are presently financially empowered to cheat. More women are in the directorship or executive roles of many international and local organisations. And yes, I agree it's a game, in which the men are the more wasteful ones. The reason majority are always broke. Women on the other hand are more mentally disposed to saving than to cheat. Those extras you men throw away, can do a whole lot back at home with your wives and children. Let's not even talk about the many health implications your lots cheating has put most women through.
Conclusively too, what you failed to acknowledge, highlight and underline is that you are still cheating with another woman, and not a man. Meaning the cheating man is a cheaper article for the woman to buy -just with an open thigh, you surrender your entirely life. You waste your strength, induce yourselves with drugs damaging your health gradually in the process, and lose a substantial amount your blood cells. And yet pay beautifully for a fun of few minutes. Please who is the better game player? Like my male cousin would say, no one has the monopoly to anything, they might just be inhibited by the means. But deep down they can yet exercise their own monopolies too in their limited capacity. Cheating is not gender base game, it's an inexcusable act of emotional wickedness by an insecure individual against humanity.
DeletePeople cheat because they want to.
@Ebony Oge..... dont ever drop that Mic
Delete@Ebony Oge...wow wow wow! This is the kind of conversation I was hoping for when I wrote this piece. You took each point one after the other, gave matching and contary opinions; and even tore some to pieces. I really appreciate the time you took to write this. You obviously read with an open mind. This piece was never to justify my cheating which I clearly stated, though not that I give any "fuck" about the religious warriors and those projecting the heartbreaks from cheating partners on this post.
DeleteThis is the kind of openess and unbais response I have been waiting for while reading all the comments. Do have a nice day. Kisses
@Ebony oge I doff my hat.
DeleteSo yesterday I went to see my high school crush and we kissed and smooched. He's divorced and I'm married. We had been talking lately and his talks had been setting my body on fire and adding some excitement to my boring life. I couldn't bring myself to sleeping with him though. But it felt so good to lie with him and gist for hours. He says we are now lovers. Me I no free oh. He has a babe who lives in another state but me I don't think I can juggle all so I would try to avoid him. Just felt like being adventurous and adding some spice and he made me feel like I've not felt in a long time. Married women go thru a lot and keep acting like all is well but have no other choice. Judginas bring it on
Delete👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Delete@ Ebony Oge you finish work nor be small.
Hey Mr cheat, please can you surrender your life to Jesus Christ, there is no time! Do not let the devil advice your wife to start a cheating revenge.
Delete@ebony oge, smart best response ever.
Deleteebony oge.... i salute you
Deletebeen a while i commented, but with this i just had to come say something.
bv Spectator
EBONY OGE,, I SALUTE 🔊🔊🕵️♀️🕵️♀️🕵️♀️
DeleteYOU'RE awesome.
Oga poster, hmmmmm.
I'm glad you've taken something away from all these..
The honest truth is that there is no excuse for a man to cheat. If you truly fear God, you will not want to do it no matter the circumstances. People giving reasons to commit sin is baseless. Let everyone begin to have self discipline period.
ReplyDeleteDem no fear GOD
DeleteDem no fear disease
Dem no fear disgrace
Dem no fear transfer of spirits
Dem no fear manipulation
Dem no fear blackmail
Dem no fear pollution
Chai
Is that not reckless foolishness?
The time you took in numbering ways to cheat(sin)you can use it to control your self, thanks
DeleteWahala for who fit buy expensive gifts
ReplyDeleteYou're simply an immature,unevolved selfish prick. There's absolutely nothing special about you and the rest of the "it's nature" crew. this regressive write up is simply the justification of an invidual too lazy and entitled to do the work necessary to fix his broken ego. If your so evolved make yours an open marriage and watch your wife show you what a learner you are when it comes to the Cheaterlympics. #Fuckboy #Fucktard
DeleteMtchewwww
ReplyDeleteOga ( Alexander, is this you?), all the points you listed apply to women too. Don't think we can't cheat too o, we just control our urges.
Nonsenseand Lai Mohammed.
You control your urge? Swear say u never cheat before lol.
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteI doubt it's him cos he once said he has never cheated. Idk
DeleteCastle Windsor, please oooo, I am not a cheating husband. I haven't seen the nakedness of another woman in over two decades. I am not a saint, not that l wouldn't want to cheat but morbid fear takes control of my life anytime the thoughts come in. I dey fear to have kids from another woman and probably expose my wife and kids to danger in the process. I do have loads of female friends though, l am more comfortable relating with them.
DeleteI am not in a position to judge men and women who cheat for whatever reason. It's their life, they very free to do whatever gives them peace.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 @nonsense and Lai Mohammed
DeleteHe has cleared himself😅😅😅😅😅😅
DeleteOkay Alexander. Please keep it up Sir.
DeleteSelf-control and self-respect has left the chat.
ReplyDeleteOkoto meow skrrr yarns.
🤣🤣🤣
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteSo far from this place....Amazing 😲
DeleteThe guy na correct baller!
Delete🤣🤣🤣
Lol
DeleteSnarker don kill me ooo🤪🤪🤪
DeleteIn all this write up, we all see it that a lot of Nigerian men lack the fear of God in them. Where there is no law, the lawless continue in their confusion. The bible calls them cursed children whose eyes are filled with adultery. You are cursed and yet coming here to make excuses. Be faithful so that your prayers are not hindered. If only they know smh.
ReplyDeleteThe article is nuts though...🌚
DeleteI tell you. No more fear of God.
DeleteWhy don't we all become thieves, criminals and killers?
Poster, there is such a thing called conscience. But you, like so many others silenced theirs a long time ago.
When you can afford to sleep with any woman in the world, but still stick with one woman is the what makes you a REAL man.
For every opportunity a man (husband) has to cheat, the woman (wife) MORE opportunities to cheat because it's the cheating men that bait women.
DeleteThe difference is GODLINESS and SELF-CONTROL.
Now, these two qualities are not gender-based.
Oga Poster, get these two qualities and be delivered from ruining your soul and home.
As a woman, I get these persistent and unwarranted attention from men , at work and socially but "none of these things move me".
There was a top boss I worked with that everyone knew he was smitten by me because at some point, he did not bother to hide it.
Presently, there is one I face at work everyday, the latest hit from him being
this past Friday.
If you think men are wired for sex, what do you think women are wired for? That's just a lame excuse.
Fact, men have a higher sexual drive in their 20s while women's sexual drive increases from their 30s upwards.
Oga Poster, when your libido starts waning in your later years, that's when your wife's would shott sky high. I hope you won't mind if she takes over the cheating wheel and compensates you with EXPENSIVE GIFTS. 🙄🤦♀️
Not everybody believe in your God and your Bible. Stop using your Bible as a guide to judge others.It is silly. You are a Christian today probably because of the circumstances of your birth. If you were born in one remote village in Afghanistan who will be a Muslim. A Hindist if you were born in Hindu populated areas of India. Just stop using your Bible to judge and condemn people. I am a Christian by choice, my parents were not Christians when l was born, though they are today. Some of come here behaving as if you have achieved perfection and so you are above sin. What are you doing in gossip blog?
Deletethe woman (wife) *has* MORE opportunities to cheat..
Deletethat's when your wife's would *shoot* sky high.
(pardon my typos, typed in a hurry)
👌👌
DeleteGo and do with your boss that is smitten by you na.
DeleteLmao 😂. Y’all still don’t get!
He will chop you wella and when he’s tired, he will clean mouth and move on to the next!
I laugh when I hear women want to cheat back 🤣🤣🤣
Na who get kpekus dey collect o😂😂😂
We moveeee!
@ 15.57, you missed the anon's point.
DeleteThe point here is she has self control, respects her husband, is disciplined and has the fear of God. She can decide to sleep with her boss afterall no one likes to eat a particular soup everyday.
Ms. Abroadian thank you for summarizing my point to 15:57.
DeleteAlexander please, are you saying those other religions ENCOURAGE CHEATING? For those that practice polygamy, shouldn't they BE SATISFIED WITH THEIR WIVES based on Poster's reason THAT some monogamous men cheat because they get bored with one wife? 😳🤔
WAHALA for who no get JESUS... 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
ReplyDeleteDouble wahala....Na only Jesus fit fix this matter
Delete@Tsquared and Engraced 👌👌👌
DeleteAbi o
DeleteLouder pls🎤🎤🎤
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteWe also need an article from the deluded 'women cheat more than men'school of thought.
Oga writer, as much as I like your factual, cut-and-dried article, I sure hope you have a thick skin because it is gon be real bloody on this street.
Kami...hahaha Blood is spilling already. Today na today.
DeleteBut it's actually true that women cheat more than men. Afterall, all these men are not cheating with men.
DeleteThey are cheating with women. And most times, these women know that they are married.
Also, is it not on on this blog where many single ladies double date? and say things like "I have 3 men in my life. I will call them A, B and C. A is nice. B is wealth. C has a short dick".
And many women will even be helping her choose which one to go for. Both men and women cheat. It's not a "mans world" when it comes to cheating. It's actually a womans world, because women are the gate keepers for sex. Men are the gate keepers of commitment. If you don't open your pussy, sex wont happen. Likewise if a man does not commit themselves to you, relationship wont happen.
It's the fact of life. but women like playing the victim more than is necessary.
Lemme order a glass of wine for when the street gets bloody 🤣😂🤣😂
DeleteKamikaze... you are not lying... poster, hope you have a thick skin and thank you for your honesty.
DeletePoster, it's clear you know cheating is wrong and you're just explaining reasons that men do so, which is insightful.
I pray God touches your heart and that you change, God can give you satisfaction with your wife if you truly desire that.
Anon 13.36, wouldn't you agree it is easier to find a married woman who has never stepped out on her husband than a married man who has never cheated?
DeleteGoing by your logic, boyfriends A,B,C would probably have girlfriends Blue, Pink, Red🤷♀️
Anon 13:36 They are not MARRIED to them. They are all suitors ti them. We don't encourage People who double date.
DeleteDoes the marriage vow not count again
At Kamikaze, the same way there are many married women who have not stepped out, there are many married men who have not stepped out either.
DeleteThe thing is...society does not consider it a "thing of honour" for a man to brag that he has never cheat on his wife. Most people will just say..ehn and so what? Should we give you a golden plaque for it?
Have you seen any man publicly shout it from the rooftop? Most faithful married men keep it to themselves because it's not thought to be a "cool thing".
But if you are rich, smart, and cheat with a few ladies who are beautiful, pretty etc, even other women who are not thought to be cheats will be eyeing you.
See ehn, you need to understand the dynamics of the world we live in. If you don't you will program your head to think only men cheat.
There are many married women who cheat. Men don't really snoop to find out because they are busy chasing money. But when their husband catches them, they hide it.
No sane man who has good standing in the society trying to build a legacy with kids that he is raising to outlive him will start publicising that he caught his wife cheating.
The ones that send their wives out only do it, if they've been looking for a good excuse to delete the wife, if the wife was caught cheating by a member of the family, a friend and it's public knowledge.
most men will hide it, if no one else knows about it, especially if the wife has been a good wife (apart from the cheating). I know this because i have seen it happen multiple times. No be say dem say.
My point is...both men and women cheat. Men dont cheat with men (except gay), men cheat with women. And those women most times know the men are married before sleeping with them.
Stella should really do an anonymous post for married men who caught their wifes cheating and what they did about it.
I You will be shocked at what you read.
All in all, i repeat...many men and women cheat. Only that society justifies mens cheating with stupid laws, and most women cry out as the victim more than men do.
There is no where I said only men cheat. Ofcourse women cheat too but no matter how long your epistle is, truth is that more men would cheat than women.
DeleteThe only thing I applaud this cheating poster for is he didn't attempt to blame his wife for his cheating ways. She is a bad cook, she doesn't clean, doesn't dress well, she nags and other stupid reasons.
DeleteKaze you are not listening to that annon. Annon made valid points, dispute if you must with facts.
DeleteAbeg park one side oga,very disgusting write up...if not that today is Sunday I for insult u,may my daughters not meet your type ,amen
ReplyDeleteCalm down! Don't kick a man in his balls.
Delete🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteWhy bring in his daughters. The post was not written because of you.
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
DeleteI'm just here to laugh loooool
He said he only has boys 😁.
DeleteBy the way, all he said was just him speaking in the rubbish. No interpreter for that language, who e epp
Abeg advocate alexander I didn't bring his daughters,I said may my daughters not meet his type and I say a big amen again
DeleteAMEN O O O O OOOOH @ Flawless prayer.
DeleteWhen you take God out of your marriage you rationalize about alot of stupid things. Since you want understanding, continue cheating till you encounter an incurable disease
ReplyDeleteThe main reason most couples are groin away from eachother🌚
Delete@ Kami 😃😃😃 pun intended
DeleteYiu should have just ended it with ...sign yeyeman
ReplyDeleteLMAO
DeleteThe 2nd , third and final reason is all I see there... meet some men/boys who said that.
ReplyDeleteAbove all it is not impossible not to cheat. It is a choice , choose what you want for yourself and your loved ones
Gbam @The Lifted!! Life is all about choices. For some men, Nigerian men that I know, once they took the vow, that was it. Same goes for women, they are ready to stand by the vow.
DeleteFor others, yes they took the vows but don't really intend to keep them. Hence both gender cheat, date and have sex with others outside their marriage.
The young man has noted all the reasons why men cheat. @Ebony Ego rightly pointed out that both sexes cheat, and can for all the reasons identified. Even the author who notes that the laws in Western countries stops men from cheating is wrong as we do hear stories of those who cheat, just ask Bezos how much it cost him :)
In all this we have a choice, to do or not to do, regardless of our gender. As a woman, I get propositions even though I am so old. Yet, I have never once strayed, no price. For my husband I can almost bet, it will take a mountain to sway, why? We made a commitment to each other and we are bound by it. He simply has no interest, and does not put himself in any situations that will cause him to fail.
I strongly believe that everything in life is about choice. Despite all the reasons you have given, if you make a choice to commit to someone and stick by it, their bodies will always arouse you, you will always delight in their presence, and be fulfilled and satisfied. Decide.
Thank you anony 19:17. Its a choice. You made a commitment to each other and you are bound by it.
DeleteThere are very valid points that was not adddress by the poster. Why men cheat.
1. When a couple of very different sexual appetites marry they have sexual incompatibilities that lead to cheating.
2. When a spouse (wife) is using sex as a weapon, tool or bargaining power for other to achieve some selfish objectives.
3. When a partner (wife) doesnt know (and is not ready to learn) how to satisfy the better half (he goes outside to get it).
4. When finacial gain is involved especially if funds is badly needed by the cheating. (I know a woman that doesnt mind if her hubby is a gigolo as long as he brings money to sort family problems).
5. When it long distance marriage/relationship and Konji sets in (both sides) with reckless abandon.
Anon,be deceiving yourself you hear? He can never cheat ko mtchewwww
DeleteOtoro gbarie gi isi there! May you end up badly in your cheating ways. Anu mpama.
ReplyDeleteOga Afo sagbo gi for 600yrs. Ezibida. Efulefu. Aturu muru gi gba aka nwa. Shameless excuse of a father. What example are you setting for the generation after you oga, you r no different from a dog who cant control his sexual urge.
DeleteMay you end up with HiV and Herpes together with gonorrhea and mamiwater that will scatter and destroywhateveris left of your reckless life.
Stupid useless manwhore. Ashawo
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you don vex scatter.
DeleteIf only this poster can see into the future and what he is setting himself against.
It's a crying shame reading this. Mark this comment because you will sit down sometime in the future and ask yourself WHY? Believe, it never ends well.
While cheating, please learn the difference between 'I'M and AM'
ReplyDelete✌️✌️
He could get blue balls the time he would spend learning🤷♀️
Delete🤣🤣
Leemaoooooo 😂😂😂
Delete😅🤣
DeleteJesus! OK this one off me.
🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣
DeleteBye
Girlbye!!!!!!!
🤣🤣
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteHahahaha, lwkmd!
DeleteNa wa o,oga what about God?don't u have the fear of God?
ReplyDeleteAs a Christian,one of the laws we should abide with is that we should not commit adultery.
When u fear your maker and love him,
U will not climb another woman and afterwards wash your prick and come home and then claim to love her.
It means u re a betrayal and u re dangerous.u have defiled your matrimonial bed.
Do u know that there are grave consequences of cheating?
If u love your life and wants to live a long, healthy and fufillfed life,stop testing your prick in different vaginas.
It is well with you and I hope you repent for the sake of Christ.
Any man that cheats does so because he wants to and not because of all these dumba** reasons.Cheating is a decision.
ReplyDeleteSir out of all you wrote, the part where you stated that it takes a well deciplined man not to cheat is what got me. That is to say there are still some men who's got discipline....hopefully, we are/end up with those type of men.
ReplyDeleteDear Stealla and Dear blog PA,i got the Data,i really appreciate, God bless you and continue to increase this blog
ReplyDeleteB
Getting bored with one partner over time happens to both gender. I am a woman and I also have the urge to see a new and different penis from the one I'm with. But in the end it's discipline that makes one hold back.
ReplyDeleteAunty Goan collect na.
DeleteCommunity oenis full everywhere...boys ready do you shukushaka!
Lol. Una go learn!
He told his truth. I am not sure why people are insulting him. Either you learn from it or you waka go. He did not say it is right, but he is giving you his perspective.
ReplyDeleteAbi!
DeleteI guess it's some of those whose horsebands are community dicks (and can't do anything about it )are taking their frustrations out on him
Oga..you are a typical man, that's how 99% of y'all behave, woman may live in denial but its d bitter truth. If u are lucky, u get d tiny quite of a disciplined man.
ReplyDeleteWhat u fail to notice is that, women too are not total mugus....that ur wife whom I think is a saint, that all her movements checks out, might just be the pro in d cheating game n trust me, you will never ever find out. Go offshore naa😁 and keep eyes every where, u no go catch her. ..cos all her movement normally checks out.
Na person wey dem catch, be thief. Happy cheating...afterall in the bible days, men had wives n concubines. Ask the man after God's heart.
Simple and short. Not for us to come here and sing 'ballads'
Delete🤣🤣🤣
I am having so much fun. Didn't know there was a lot I could do with balls.
"It takes a highly disciplined man not to cheat"
ReplyDeleteSo what are you? A man lacking discipline, integrity and self-respect, whose only claim to manhood is the wriggled balls dangling between his legs?
And what do you even mean by "I told my wife to try her chances (cheat), let's see how it goes"
What kind of man says this to a woman he claims he loves?
I forgot, an irresponsible, hoe-ish clown whose only claim to manhood is the smelly balls between his STD infested legs.
Kuku kee me, anonymous 🤣🤣🤣
DeleteIn my own conclusion, it is only a man that have the fear of God that will not cheat on his partner.
ReplyDeleteWhat of those pastors that have been accused? Its tough oh!
DeleteNot all pastors have the fear of God.
DeleteMy own is how do guys have sex with a lady they are not emotionally attach to,because it is one thing very difficult for me to do.
ReplyDeleteNo justification for cheating my dear brother it only just make you happy so don't give justification or reasons why men cheat.
Yes I am a guy and I have be working and disciplining myself never to cheat on my girlfriend or wife so help me God...because what I can't take I will never do it to another.
The writer definitely didn't drop the ball on this one.🌚. It is clear cut and straight to the point. It also did not seek to justify. The only problem is that most people aren't reading objectively and are letting themselves get triggered.
DeleteAnyway, I am impressed this is what you chose as your moral lesson from the article. May God help you and I hope you end up with someone deserving.
Kami you have my respect from today going forward.
DeleteAnd Kami is having a lot of fun. You are on a roll, Kami. Takes balls to do what you are doing😃
DeleteLmao!
DeleteBianca, I am balling on this post so yes, I am really on a roll...pun intended🤣🤣🤣
Big Banty!!!!
DeleteWay to go hommie!!
Kamz you're surely having a good time, well so am I!!
Lool your new fav word is Ball!!!
I think anon 15:04 is the poster. Kami,is his respect worth anything to you?
DeleteAnyways,
Being open minded does not mean the absence of morals, principles and values that is needed to make this world a better place.
A man that would cheat without remorse and justify it at such great length can justify any evil act.
If indeed you are okay with it, why the long epistle explaining and justifying your stance with a seemingly " I don't care" tone. Yinmu ..
Chocolat Sweets, I truly love that word.🤣🤣🤣
DeleteLol..
ReplyDeleteOk.. I'm not married so I don't think I'm in the position to say much on this.
However, most Nigerian wives that claim to leave their husband because of cheating are actually only using it as front.. most of them left for money related issues- he no longer spends on them; he's now a liability to her, broke husband only spends all her monies; she has met a bigger 'fish' and needs to out the marriage so she can hoe in peace etc etc..
Some girls would date married men during their single days and expect their husband not to cheat on them, coming up with stupid excuses of how you shouldn't judge them cos they were in the relationship for sponsorship and what not.. the more annoying ones are the ones that would claim that they didn't fuck the married man but only 'chopped' his money, I hope you'll maintain the same energy when some other girls also just wants to 'chop' your husband's money... bomb dey all of una head..
Got a lot to say as regards the psychology of men and women and how different and unique we are.. but that would take us out of subject. Let's keep it within the issue on ground..
Everytime they'll be dragging married men who cheat for sex but won't talk about themselves who cheat for money.. wife go dey husband house dey collect money and gift from the exes and other men who they know has sexual interest in them, if this isn't cheating, then I don't know what is
@'bomb dey all of una head'.. 😂
Deletemaaah nigga!!
Stop generalising
DeleteRule of life
Don't give what you will not take
Fear GOD
SWERVE
DeleteHmmm
DeleteYou should go read Ebony Oge's post up there.
DeleteGod na husband I want not cheetah please.
ReplyDeletePeople taking pride in cheating and giving excuses as if a trophy is to be won at the end of their cheating escapades
Not a cheetah? 🤣🤣🤣
DeleteSee me laughing like a hyena.
Stella, he's not lying and most of these (minus 2 and 3) are the same reasons women cheat too. When I was less experienced,I used to hate cheating husbands, but now I know their wives cheat on them just as much and get away with it by never getting caught twice as often.
ReplyDeleteLast last, they deserve each other
Cheating dey this poster Vein.. Coutinue ooo.. Its ya body...
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteAbeg this is boring. Asian and white men are inventing things, black women are the most growing and educated demographic in the West and Africa, black men are busy sharing STDs and boasting about their right to mistreat women because that’s the only area where they have power. Give a woman 10 million and she buys investments like gold or land, give a man 10 million and he suddenly looks for the young beautiful women he couldn’t afford before. (And that’s not on sex workers and side chicks, it’s business for them and the supply exists because the demand is unbelievably huge)
ReplyDeleteOne day society will get tired of bullying women to staying in bad marriages and Nigerian men will have to form personalities outside of being adulterers.
Look at the fintech space, agriculture, beauty, blogging, fashion, EndSARS, all championed by women. Nigerian men swear they are such sex addicts meanwhile the demand for female sex workers and side chicks is still much higher than for men. You don’t have a high sex drive, you guys are not even known for being good in bed like Congolese and Caribbean men, you are just irresponsible and lack integrity.
Abeg who tell you say Asian men and white men don't cheat. Go and check sex slave and trafficking and come back to support your analysis.
DeleteI am not in support of the posters stance but one needs to be objective when throwing up argument.
Lovelace
I didn’t say they don’t cheat, but they don’t justify it and they are not the poorest and most incarcerated demographic, black men are. YOU learn to read before responding
DeleteWhere did you say they cheat. Please read what you typed again before you tell someone to learn.
DeleteHow do you know they don't justify cheating,you just wake up and start throwing aspersions on black men without having any statistics to prove your point.
You now brought in incarceration as if the ratio of black men to white and Asian men all over the world is a factor for poor choices and poverty. Aunty please just kindly shift abeg.
Lovelace
With poor self esteem and very fragile egos to boot
DeleteThe koko is that it seems many African men take solace in their penis unlike their Asian and American counterparts who have been told through history that the African man is loaded down there.
DeleteInstead of boasting about about the women slept with, why can't this exploring, restless spirit be directed towards something more rewarding, more lasting than their one minute game
Poster thank you for been honest. I'm a woman but I agree with you in some areas. It's only by the help of the HOLY Spirit it can be stopped.
ReplyDeleteAll those daft paragraphs to justify your lack of self control and disregard to God and his commandments. Like female children don’t also abandon new toys when they get them. Lost man. The only reason you cheat is because you don’t respect your wife and you know she won’t make you accountable for your actions. Dustbin of a man.
ReplyDeleteCan the fear of God bring down hard on? Lets be realistic here.why do men of God cheat, you think they all don't have the fear of God? Even in the bible some men of God had concubines
ReplyDeleteCan the fear of God bring down hard on? Yes it can
Deletewhy do SOME men of God cheat, you think they don't have the fear of God? Yes they don't
even in the bible some men of God had concubines. Men were allowed to have more than one partner then not anyomore now
I can say it for free that the conji level in men is higher than in women generally. But self control is a fruit of the spirit and that means genuinely spirit filled men won't cheat. They may lust but won't allow it get beyond that level.
ReplyDeleteThe level/stages of adultery is drawn below:
Normal girls:
Lust>>Communication>>SeriousToasting>>Relationship>>Romance>>Sex.
For runs girls the stages are:
Lust>>Communication>>sex.
For cheating to happen, this stages must occur.
It is advisable as a married man or woman, u set ur boundaries with opposite sex in both business, work or friendship.
Men need to set boundaries as temptations is more for men in terms of what they see everyday.
- Avoid going to clubs.
- Avoid staring nudity.
- Avoid looking at cleavages/half breast display by ladies.
- Avoid staring at nipples revealed by some ladies shirts for those ones that don't wear bra.
- Avoid viewing camel toe, I mean the front view of those women that doesn't wear paent.
- Avoid looking at ladies yansh with big bum bum. They wear tight these days and that will reveal all the contours and shape of the ukwu.
- Avoid soft or Hardcore pornography.
But in all, to avoid cheating, u must
- Avoid friends who sees cheating as normal way of life.
Me, I have a principle, u can't be a married colleague or friend and talk about having girlfriends or anything woman in my presence, jokingly or seriously. I will shun u hands down.
Cheating by married men or women is very bad and anyone doing it should be discouraged or avoided.
Thanks
Women have an organ specifically for lust: the clitoris. So it’s not true that men are hornier, they are just socialised to act on it more
Deletethumbs up
DeleteCheating isn't really gender specific. But since we're talking about us - the make species, I'll like to air my two cents. It's basically the grass is always greener at the other side. Before a man cheats, something, no matter how little or meaningless must have gone wrong in his present relationship. He might give weird excuses why he cheats, maybe what really turns him on can't be found in his present relationship hence the escapades. Whether we like to admit it or not, everyone has one weird fetish or turn on. Once this catalyst goes missing in a relationship, your guess is as good as mine. If it's the "bush" he craves, madam with everything you hold dear, don't ever clear the forest!
ReplyDeleteIsn't this a bit too simplistic? I would think this would refer to women as the writer already told us that men don't really need a reason to cheat.
DeleteI somehow hope that women knowing that men do not need a reason to cheat would in some weird way be comforting. Maybe it would help someone whose partner cheated on to realize that it isn't her fault.
I am the writer...normally I didn't want to respond to any comment but I will make a exception for @Jafar. I have one of the best and most beautiful wives in the world. I cheat not because it's her fault. Maybe you need to re-read the write-up again, its all on me, someday I hope to build the discipline to be a faithful husband. Till then, this is just me telling you what it is.
DeleteAnd as for the religious folks and the "fear of God" mongers, maybe you should go read the stories of David and Solomon in the Bible. I am sure they are in hell roasting now. I have always been willing to rot in hell for my sins but are you? Hypocrites!
Men always have a reason why they cheat. We hide behind the usual it's in our nature mantra. We choose not to divulge why it seems strangely normal for us.
DeleteJafar the guy just told us he lacks self discipline and control that is why he cheats. He is not hiding anything as you typed.
DeletePoster hope you are not putting your wife in harms way due to your philandering nature.
Lovelace
@writer. I would never demean your wife. Far from it. The truth is the devil is in the details. No matter how you try to sugar-coat it, there's a method to this "madness". There's always something we crave when we go hunting. It might be ego boost or call it whatever you like. The truth is we ain't getting it in our present relationships. For anyone to cheat, there's always something lacking. It may be physical or abstract.
DeleteOga Poster, when you experience a little bit of "hell" in your life, you won't come back here to type 'DOGON TURECNCHI'.
DeleteIn fact, you will find out the meaning of Old Testament and New Testament. 🤦♀️
While you justify your cheating, remember whatsoever a man soweth....
ReplyDeleteYour reasons are dumb!Until kitikpa feast on that your wandering prick, you will go home and face your wife! Anuofia!
ReplyDeleteHell is real oga. Keep talking trash up there. This body will perish one day because no one lasts forever. When it's that faithful day explain all these things to Baba God e hear. I always tell myself if my man cheats I leave. I also pray every day for the grace not to cheat because fine guys dey ooo. I also pray God leads me not into temptation. As for the poster he is a yeyerish somebory.
ReplyDeleteIt’s not the fear of God that make people not to cheat. It’s not how much money, how presentable you are or how much time on your hand. It’s what you value. If you truly value your body, you will take very good care of it, one way is by not engaging in indiscriminate sex.cheating on your partner never ends well.if you value yourself, your partner and your family, the last thing on your mind will be to cheat.Oga, all what you wrote up there didn’t justify cheating at all.
ReplyDeleteAll these oyibo on top sin, continue till u jam one winch way go useless ur life and destiny and turn u into a beggar, ur eye go clear, na ur wife I pity, she go soon get fed up by ur level of expensive gift and japa once she meets a man way above ur level, and console her conscience with the fact that she has been at the receiving end since. Udo inugo
ReplyDeleteThe post never encouraged cheating needless attacking the poster. He made it clear all he said were his opinion and personal view. Every one that cheats has one reason or the other why they cheat. I read early this week why women cheat. 25 married women in anons mode bared their mind, relationships and marriages why they do it. And that was from a Ghanaian publication. From flimsy reasons to pay back to revenge to "save their marriage" by getting pregnant outside. Majority of the women from the publication said they are still seeing their exes to spice things up.
ReplyDeleteI remember posting something like this as a comment but was attacked. It still did not remove the reality. God fearing or not, knowing Christ or not, being a good man or not will not make majority men not to have roving eyes. If your boy friend or husband does not cheat, it does not mean others do not. The attacks ranged from "speak for your self, your father, brothers and male cousins cheat", park one side". It does not change the fact that men are wired to cheat that's the natural, biological and whole truth.
Testestorone is the primary sex hormone and ANABOLIC STEROID in males.
Testestorone level in adult male is 280 and 1,100 nanograms per deciliter (ng/dl) and 15 and 75 ng/dl for adult females. The huge difference is obvious. This sex hormone is so important for the development of the male child that it's deficiency in a male foetus will affect the male child's puberty.
High testestorone leads to high sex drive which nature gave men.
There are some women no matter how their husbands cheat, they can not cheat instead they take a walk but how many %tage of men stay faithful?
Men have knowing the implications of a round of sex forgone political positions, left kingdoms, missed life changing deals or businesses etc. A case of a former governor in the US that got up, dressed, left his office and family and flew to Argentina to cheat on his wife with a TV personality years ago comes to mind. Of course, he resigned after.
Thank you, my brother.
DeleteNow that we agree men cheat more, can women now love money in peace?
🤣🤣🤣
Don't 'ball out'on us. Get back in here!🤣
ReplyDeleteIs this post talking about ADULTERY?
ReplyDeleteRev. 21:8 "All ADULTERERS... will be cast into the LAKE OF FIRE..."
Am sure David and Solomon also went to hell fire
DeleteIt will be one hell of an orgy in there.
DeleteLord! I love puns.🤣🤣🤣
Mark 10:1-10 Jesus talked about one man one wife as being God's plan from the beginning. Besides, this post isn't talking about marrying multiple wives but cheating on one's partner.
Delete@Kami
May the Lord have mercy on you.
Thanks dear. It is my prayer everyday, the Lord's mercy.🤗🤗🤗
DeleteI've said it before and will say it again, take it to the bank and cash it. The only reason a man would cheat on his wife is when he has no fear of God. This includes lack of self control and respect for your marital vows.
ReplyDeleteEvery other thing you mentioned above is self imposed. It is a justification of the way one has chosen to go
Poster you love cheating simple and short.
ReplyDeleteIt makes you fulfilled..
Continue🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶
Hydrogen your head is paining you in your chest😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteAll the reasons given by the poster are just excuses. Nigerian men are just taking advantage of women, period!
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to agree with him, that's just him. The way he lives his life. If you insult him from today to the end of time, it's not going to change him. Why allow your emotions overwhelm you and you display your faulty upbringing by insulting him and his daughters. Men and women, especially married women cheat for diverse reasons. We have read about those using revenge sex as their excuse for cheating. No reason is good enough, if you are tired of the marriage, move out and go fucking whoever pleases you.
ReplyDeleteIf you are 'wired' to cheat like the poster, then do not marry. Marriage is unhonourable. Men of honour would put God first. And the marriage bed is undefiled, thankfully,a woman can walk out of such union wen the bed gets defiled.
ReplyDeleteYou can't say you love your wife and cheat on her, for love is not selfish
Thank you
DeleteMarriage is *honourable*
DeleteEverything he wrote there summarizes my husband. He grew up so poor that now he uses his money to get any girl he wants. And I married the fool for love. But now I am tired. I don waka. Let him sleep with 6 at a time if he wants. And now he is acting sober and begging. But I can’t go back. I am just in my early 40s and have lost all feeling for him. And I too need sex but unlike him I choose to walk out instead of stay and cheat. And for the first time in a long while have peace!!
ReplyDeleteDon't mind him. In his later years he will wonder what all that adulterous sex was all about.
DeleteSome men misbehave so badly in their prime but when one illness like prostrate enlargement, diabetes etc strikes in their 50s, they will start looking for the wife of their youth. 🙄
Good on you that you have enough self respect and dignity to take a walk.
DeleteThis is my own angle and this is the justification for my own actions as well. Especially where you made mention of compensating your wife with gifts. At the end of the day almost every woman in Nigeria is a prostitute. Whether single or married. As a mature single lady, for a while now I've been dating a married man, just one, who picks my bills. I can't even say in return for sex cos the sex is sparingly. Almost as boring as in a marriage. Now why men cheat, I don't know. But I think we need to come the conclusion of not judging anybody for thier actions based on selfish reasons. How am I different from a wife who has sex with her husband only when he can 'pay' for it. Or worse still absolves her husband of every cheating crime for the right monetary compensation. Wives own still better sef. I have only male friends, and they complain that there are no more (loving) girlfriends in town again. Every girlfriend is a coded prostitute. And that's why I think it has become even much easier for men to cheat. Shey oyinbo that once you fuck them, they become attached and fall in love is where you'll be fucking every Tom, Dick and Harry. Abi those sugar babies that charge daddies thousands of pounds? It's the society we find ourselves. Cheap women have made it much easier for men to cheat, period! Ranging from as low as 50naira to as much as say 2-5m(our so called yeyebrities) and more( cos some fuckboy is fucking Alakiija) I'm sure you can find a a pussy or dick you desire and can afford any fucking time in Nigeria. Sex is now about just getting it off with any household (runs girl's pussy) objects. Just that you pay. I think it all bottles down to poverty and the working of our system. I hold an BSc from here and MSc from UK. Yet no job, no husband. Just like there are no girlfriends, there are no boyfriends either. Only fuckboys in town. So I feel better dating this married man who treaqtes me better than fuckboys, won't lie about marrying me to have his way, yet picks my bills. All of us are thieves.
ReplyDeleteNO 15:50, not all are thieves, only those who CHOOSE the broad and easy way to destruction.
DeleteYES, good jobs are hard to come BY, but you could find something productive to do to foot your bills.
Please, while at it, learn to live WITHIN your means.
Be faith in little so that one day God will promote you and you can afford the finer things in life.
Learn how to a base and abound. ONE STEP AT A TIME.
GODLINESS WITH CONTENTMENT IS GREAT GAIN.
You are not married but s3x in marriage is boring?? is that what your married lover told you to deceive you huh???
Delete18.22 Of everything i said, that's the only part you read, abi? Ani ke stop being judgemental. Stop judging other people. Mind ya own business. And if we have opportunity to x-ray you now, only God knows wetin we go find. You fit be pedophile there. Dey there dey take panadol for my headache. Where in my write up did i tell you I'm dating him for money? Leave me alone and go and meet that your that becomes cranky whenever you're broke. I insist that most Nigerian women(and some men) are prostitutes. I'm not going to start from small. I'm in my house, come and beat me. Olodo!
DeletePlease anon,you're the thief not me. Respect your so called "Degree" and don't generalize
DeleteMtcheweewwww
ReplyDeleteStella, he's not lying and most of these (minus 2 and 3) are the same reasons women cheat too. When I was less experienced,I used to hate cheating husbands, but now I know their wives cheat on them just as much and get away with it by never getting caught twice as often.
ReplyDeleteLast last, they deserve each other
I thought he'd write something different when he started with bvs not looking at different perspectives before giving advice, there's nothing new here.
ReplyDeleteHonestly I was ready to read something very sensible until.... My own is that if you want to cheat or commit adultery, biko do so without coming here to spew thrash in the name of justifying the act. Perhaps, he feels guilty hence the need to type an epistle in the name of justifying why he cheats. He who wants eat a frog should eat a fat one with pleasure. I choo ikwa iko, kwa in peace and let us be. Anyway, I am rotfwl because of the comments. Oga try no infect your wife, inugo?
DeleteOga cheating husband, you need Jesus.
ReplyDeleteWell I believe that cheating isn't even about not having the fear of God .I know atheist who don't cheat and are good people. These cheats just simply lacks will power,they are weak men with no respect for their body and they lack stenght of character in that they believe they can buy anyones loyalty -he mentioned gifting his wife and also entice women with money.so I'll say cheating is a thing of the mind but factors like poverty aids it
ReplyDeleteExactly!!!
DeleteYou shouldn’t have posted this. You really should not have.
ReplyDeleteMy father is like you and that’s the reason why I am single today. I can’t trust any man because of him. He cheated on my mother and although he tried to be discreet, people always had a way of finding. Their argument over his infidelity got violent one day and she kept on hitting him. In his anger he only pushed her and she hit her head on the door. She died barely two years later after always complaining of headaches and dizzy spells.
My siblings and I don’t talk to my dad anymore. He has a new family and seems to be doing fine. We tell everyone we are orphans because no matter what anyone wants to paint it, our father killed our mother.
Anyone who justifies infidelity is an evil and wicked person. Remember that no matter how coded you think you are, your children are watching and will be shaped by their experiences.
Your sons will think cheating is okay and will sleep with daughters of jezebel. They will attract whatever curses and diseases from those women and infect their wives and their children. Their destinies will be sacrificed for a few minutes of pleasure. They will be unable to understand why their wives are complaining and crying because to them, men were born to cheat.
As for your daughters, they will always be angry, resentful towards men, their self esteem in the gutter and won’t be able to trust any man. They will end up exploring jazz or false prophets to ensure they get a faithful man like I tried to do and will be further ruined by the devil. Or they will end up with men just like you and be open to all sorts of grief, diseases and spiritual attacks.
When we do things and give lengthy misogynistic justification for them, let’s remember that it’s not always about us. Let us learn to reason beyond our noses. Our actions have far deeper consequences than we can ever imagine. I hate you and all that you stand for.
Stella you can restrict my comment if you wish. I’ve poured out my heart.
Anon 21:22 I am really very sorry about your mother. Your write-up is filled with so much grief and anger. I really feel your pain and resentment and how this piece has made you feel.
DeleteI think you really need to move on. What your father did shouldn't define your life. You need to forgive your father and get your life together.
I do hope you find the peace you seek. Good luck.
Hmmmm
DeleteI just realized that Nigerian men cheat because they can get away with it easily. It's "normal". See enh there is poverty in the land. Most of these girls they cheat with do it for the money and perks. Ps most of them Nigerian men no sabi the thing sef. No be bang bang bang thank you ma'am. Most of these dudes don't understand how to handle and please a woman. Hisssssss
ReplyDeleteYou cheat not because of these reasons but because there is an insatiable desire in you that you have not yourself found.
ReplyDeleteYou have raised a great argument but you have not confronted your personal demons that make you feel this is okay.
Dear poster. Until you find yourself and truely find yourself. You will feel all these are reasonable justifications.
I agree not everything is black and white having worked with loads of cheating men and women in therapy.
However the fundamental issue that makes you do this, still lies with you and you alone. You own your decisions. You own your choices.
Poster, you made very valid points...and I must commend you for not blaming the wives for their husband's misconduct.
ReplyDeleteI met my husband when I was 19, 200level and still a virgin...he was in his final year and we started dating...the romance was hot and fierce, he disvirgined me on my 20th birthday...when he graduated and returned back to his state,I felt we were done but no he kept coming to visit me in school and each time would tell me not to mess myself up that he loves me and would marry me...I loved him too with my whole heart being my first love and all...3 yrs later we married and the first two years was pure bliss, he'd tell me about his finances and ask for my input on how to make us grow...and I told God you have blessed me with a loving & transparent husband with a daughter and son,all we need now is excess money...by the 3rd year there was a mega financial bloom and then my husband suddenly changed---late nights, sleeping out, clubs OMG...caught him several times cheating and even asked for a divorce but he'd go on his knees each time and beg, told me I was perfect and he doubts he'd find another version of me...so stop now, for where?
My family didn't support me to leaveesp cos he was still doing major stuffs in the home...so I stayed put, today we're 14yrs in marriage with 4 kids, 3 boys and a girl and I don't have any iota of love for my husband...I don't care if he comes back home or not, I don't feel any form of attraction towards him, I don't have urge to have sex with him but anytime he demands I give...I know for sure that if he dies b4 me I will never mourn him even for a week...I am completely cold.
Well, loneliness pushed me into having an affair but I couldn't bring myself to let him penetrate...I feel strongly attracted to this guy and he says all the right things and knows just how to treat a lady right...his dick game is bigger and harder than hubby's but I no get liver to use my pussy chop the gbola... we've done everything but penetrate and he says he won't rush or force me...just being in his arms and I'll be dripping wet meanwhile with hubby he uses his saliva to lubricate me.
Now, my husband can swear on his life that no other man has ever seen me,he trusts me absolutely, and even brags about it...and I let him believe what he chooses to, but if only he knows...so Oga Poster while you may think you are the bad ass guy your wife may even be ahead of you.
So I guess it’s the money and comfort keeping you there? Not that I blame you.
DeleteYou go still chop that gbola one day sha and your husband would deserve it. I think it would be nice to chop it with clean mind, but that’s just me.
If all of this is true then why does it hurt a man do much when his wife cheats? Shouldn't he just look at these reasons and give her understanding and come together and move on from it. I mean it not that big of a deal as the writer says. Some of the cheating wives are doing is what is keeping food on the table and roof over the heads, when men cheat they remove resources from the family. So men, please be more understanding if your special someone cheats, just like you need understanding we need it too.
ReplyDeleteJust to add my opinion.
ReplyDelete1. Like some have said, cheating is a choice. You didn’t blame your wife but by deduction, having 3 kids changed her body, you “love” her and the kids. Your body too has changed. I’m amazed that some young ladies sleep with these pot bellied, “liver bellied”wide men for anything! I don’t care how much. I’m not insinuating you look like that just to clarify.
Every human is wired to sin but self control is the issue. You cheat because you don’t like eating the same meal.You prefer eating left overs of 50 pot belled men that your side chicks have collected stuff from on the expressway? Interesting. I’d rather use a 10 year car I bought new than a 5 year car with 5 previous owners’
2. Only one person talked about the friends you keep. Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. I don’t know any of my friends in Naija or here that cheat on their husbands, maybe my circle of friends is naive or knowing I don’t, will not tell me about such but I met mine at 22, he is my first and only, he knows me and knows I will not do it. As for him, he has too much work on his plate at the top of his career and you can’t behave anyhow on the job here, they will fire you and you lose most of your life work benefits. Even the most indisciplined Naija men, with good jobs and a high level of education, won’t flirt at work, and are worn out by the time they get home. Your wife too is worn out by the time she gets home but you create time out of love. We talk about it and both wonder how the stories we hear about naijas in big cities with unsteady hourly jobs waste time misbehaving instead of improving their skills set. Try your “nonsense” in some organizations here, you not only lose your secure job but the wife will kick you out and you will be homeless for a while.
Mine and his friends talk about their wives, kids, work, politics, sports etc we all hang out with each other and we live in a country where you can lose ALL in one day if you are guilty of such.
It’s the reason white people prone to such boredom have open marriages or are swingers! It’s allowed if you both agree! If you are not in an open marriage & are not swings and your spouse finds evidence enough to disgust her to leave you, you will move from a mansion to a one bedroom studio. Jeff Bezos founded Amazon with Mackenzie Bezos but an ugly married slut separated them. We all know how much she got. Let the poster come here, you will lose everything and still be paying your wife till the youngest child is 18. It’s indiscipline and our lawless society. We need laws to protect spouses!
3. Many married women have a hard time cheating. Sex is physical for men but emotional for women, a reason those who cheat do with their ex with whom they have had an emotional connection in the past. Some cheating can be a sign of inferiority complex. The poster acknowledged the fact that there was a class of girls he wasn’t able to date when in college but now that he has “arrived”, he can. This to me is at the core of cheating by men from poor backgrounds. It’s also the reason such men are good lovers while poor but start cheating once comfortable. You need to see a Therapist to deal with your complex. It’s a mental health issue! Compensation in this context is a sign of a serious inferiority complex that makes such men mistreat their wives and others who are yet to “make it”
Finally poster, don’t relocate with your misogyny as you will lose your power and money, the ground will be level. There is cheating here but should the other party know and want out, you will lose a lot including seeing your kids daily. That’s why many treat their wives a little differently. Nothing has consequences in Nigeria and poverty has turned women into runs and glorified prostitution. Change your ways! All flesh is grass!
A load of crap.... You have not yet seen the consequences of your cheating actions
ReplyDeleteWhat make u think she is also faithful....most men think women are docile nowadays, i pity them sha ....d gift u give her, what makes u think she doesn't give her other lovers? I know a man who cheated on his wife for over 10 yrs and she later succumbed to cheating too...u are just married for 7 yrs and u already cheat.....some men wait at least till a decade.....10 yrs from now do u think she will stay faithful to u......im not married but i know a lot of women who has cheated back after yrs of depression...i pity u, better go pray ,and go for counselling and confess to her so she can forgive u......women who later succumbs to cheating bcos their husbands did so wud be worse dan d husbands as i said sorry for u
ReplyDelete