Ruth made a post asking if its OK to check on ones partners phone and some of her celeb colleagues tell her to let sleeping dogs lie..
Thursday, December 03, 2020
Actress Ruth Kadiri Says Everyone Has A Right To Check On Their Partner Phone And She Gets Shocking Responses..
74 comments:
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Privacy in marriage kwa? Well, that's not how it works in my home eventhough I haven't had any reason to "search" his phone but I use his phone and other gadgets regularly and he uses mine.
ReplyDeleteWhatever works for you.
So your phone is private but your private part 🥒🥑🍆🍉is what 🤔🥴🙄😏🤷🏾♀️?
DeleteWhich privacy are they talking about in marriage again?!
DeleteMrs Perfect Saphire I greet you o
DeleteAnin 12.40. What could be more private than a private part? Is this not marriage where two are supposed to become one?
DeleteI am not interested in going through your phone but that should NOT be a problem in marriage.
13.30 oh yes, my life is as near perfect as can be. Check In House News, I sheared some tips that might help your sour life if only you will practice as I do.
Delete@Essa Atelier, it is marriage and two should become one and nothing should be private. I agree. But it also on this blog that we read that women should keep some part of their money in a secret account and not let their husbands know. You see the double standard here.
DeleteIf there is nothing to be private in a marriage, which I agree with, then there should be no secrets by both partners in a marriage. Everything should be open: finances, phones, business deals, etc.
What is this mumu 12.40 saying?
DeleteAnd these ones are supposed to be role models?
Delete2 heads are better than one and that's why 2 become 1 so that they can harness their strength together and overcome their weaknesses together!
If you keep any secret from each other, then you are no longer 1!
My husband's phone is as good as mine. Which one is privacy with phone again. Imagine living with a cheating man an pretending not to know because you don't want to rattle your peace.
DeleteAnonymous 13:30, most times i can relate with Saphire's post, it is not about having a perfect life.
DeleteI stopped talking about my marriage because most people canot relate with it and they feel it is a lie. Jappy home still exist.
Someone I know found out the Wife was secretly on Anti Retrovir drugs tru snooping. As in HIV. Aunty was into Event but with plenty side dishes
DeleteI totally agree with ruth, anybody u are married to or dating dt shields their fones from ur reach issa suspect and shd nt be trusted. Una go fit touch una privates parts bt cnt av access to una fones? U slf check am, o wrong!
ReplyDeleteSome people ( both sexes) today are buying phones that they don't use at home. So carry phone dey check like SARs wey no get sense and you won't see anything.
DeleteTrue @ Alexander I don't know why people just like wahala. Is it everything your spouse will tell you. No be this blog some people swear they can't share their body count with their partners. Now most are shouting what privacy.
DeleteI think selective memory or amnesia dey worry some of una for this blog.
Lovelace
I only check his bank text messages 🙄
DeleteYet we wonder why most marriages(if we still call it that) are the way they are. My money, my properties, my phone.
ReplyDeleteYou give someone your heart, body, time, exclusivity, you share your aspirations, fears, pain and all yet you still segregate. You are one in all entirety and there is nothing like yours or mine after marriage.
This show of stupidity has got to stop. Ugh!
If there are some things left you to know in your hearts of hearts you are scared to see then you should not be with that person in the first place. You are too priceless to place your all in the hands of the one who cannot give you all of him/her.
*If there are some things left, that you know in your heart of hearts...*
Delete👍
Delete👏👏👏
DeleteNicely put!
DeleteLol @ Isabella. I wish what you wrote can work in reality.
DeleteLovelace
@Sabella, you are spot on!! I am 100% in agreement with you on this one.
DeleteOk nah, go and share all your account details with your man, share all your money with him too. When a man will show you shege y'all will understand that even if you are married you should keep some things private. Plus there are men who will let you use their phones and still have another phone or delete all the traces on their phones. I know because I'm dating a married man. Yeah yeah virgin Marys and holy ones judge me all you want but all I want to say is that his wife kept constantly checking his phone until she found the messages between me and him, she even started picking my calls. First she confronted me, sometimes she would seize her husband phone for days. Did it stop us? No. When he goes to work we talk to each other, we still text each other and he deletes the chats. He has warned her never to confront me again. The last time I called, she picked and kept quiet. I hung up, she could not even block me because she knows that he will get upset. I've been dating him for almost five years. In the beginning she was a pain in the ass and thought that she was in charge but I used my wisdom, never insulted her, let her keep saying bad things and lies about me to separate us until her own husband lost trust in her. Now he drives 3 hours every few weeks to come and see me on the weekend. If she ask he says is a job trip. As a woman I know that she knows that he is with me but there is nothing she can do because by viewing his phone, seizing his phone, insulting me in front of him and lying to him about me she has drove him in my arms. All I needed to do was to be patient. Now he wants us to have a child. I will be calm, be his peace, not stress him and when I give birth then I will have him in the palms of my hands. Mind you he already has children and he is a deacon but is ready to face the consequences just so we can have a child together. If you tell him that you have seen me in bed with a man he will never believe you, even if you showed him the pictures. He would say that is photoshop. Not that I'm sleeping around though but he trust me because he is the one that broke my virginity whereas is wife was not a virgin when he married her and I always subtly remind him by telling him that I'm the first virgin he ever slept with. All this to tell you if you want peace with your man, use your wisdom. Checking his phone won't change anything. You will only get heartbroken. If his wife had not behaved like she did he would have probably lost interest in me but her trying to keep him away from me made him want me more plus no matter what don't insult your husband sidechick in his presence or confront her, this is what made him warn her not to confront me again. I dislike his wife with all my heart but I told him to treat her right, he was surprised, he showed me pictures of his children I awwed and kept saying how cute and lovely they were. Of course I was pretending but this made him look at me with different eyes. He saw me as someone who can love his children despite them not being mine and I knew that one of the way to have him for myself was to pretend I love his children, this is one of the reasons he wants a child with me.
DeleteCongratulations on winning okay,you will be married too someday
Delete18:38 Well, everything you wrote is not my portion and that of everyone who agreed with my comment In Jesus name. Amen.
DeleteIt is so sad that you have decided to shortchange yourself and waste your youth by being with someone else's husband. While the one God created for you is probably somewhere looking for his missing ribs.
Well, Your cross. That is your life, fate and yours alone. I and everyone under my comment are not you nor are we the woman in your story. I am not in a relationship with your kind of man. The filthy man you shamelessly frolick with can't even stand a few feet beside me. Trust me, you have no idea about the dynamics of my relationship don't imagine it to be like yours.
You have picked your own path and your own fate. Deal with it and let others carve theirs .
Read everything you wrote to me again and this time slowly does it makes sense to you?
Is this the life you wished for yourself as a little girl? Being a kept woman for a man who doesn't find you worthy of making a honest woman out of you. Being a plaything for someone else's husband. You do not feel you are deserving of your own man? For an acclaimed ex-virgin you write like a dolt!
His wife wasn't a virgin when he married her? But he married her like that and had lovely kids with her and you the dumb virgin are the kept woman.
We are not saying check your partner's phone but no man or woman should be afraid to touch his/her partner's phone. Simple!!
Have a nice day.
Anon the day that jazz will clear from his eyes ehn. Well done!
DeleteAnon 18:38, smh for you. See the way you are shamelessly defending your silly decision to play second fiddle. Lmaoooo😂😂😂😂you have not seen life ohh, you only think you have.
DeleteIn your tiny mind now, you've won right? You wishhhhhhh.
Of all the young men you could choose to start life with, na tokunbo with bad tyres you wan start life with? Pele ohh, beloved sidechick, aspiring to be wife. It is well with your soul.
Anon, you're the devil herself. When you eventually give birth for that man, you will SUFFER.
Delete@18:38
Delete"...used your wisdom..?" This wisdom of yours has not admonished you and shown you hell fire? You think that all the
sexploits you do with your hips end in this world? Pick up your bible and read Rev. 21:8
And remember, Heb. 13:4 "God will judge all the adulterers and sexually immoral."
There shouldn't be any secret in marriage.
DeleteBoborisky on the beat🤣🤣🤣🤣
Delete@Anon 18:38, this was not God's original plan for you when you were born years ago but you allowed the devil to sow sinful pleasures into you life. You cannot hide this from your creator.You may be thinking you are smart but you are not.Release that man and his family so yourself can be set free.Whatever gratification you get from him will cease soon.its just a matter of time. Stop being a thorn in another woman's flesh . This is the hour of grace it might be too late.
DeleteWell done. Good for you! In some men’s eyes only women who have not yet had kids for him have value. If you were really special he will leave his wife for you. But you will always r a secret. Ask him to leave his wife and see. If he did not fear and respect his wife he won’t hide to talk to you!
DeleteNigerian married women, why? Why do you people behave in a way that gives people like anon 18:38 the effrontery to make this kind of comments? Why do you choose to remain in marriages where you are treated so disrespectfully by your husband and his side chick. Your husband should be scared to cheat on you. His side chick should be struck with terror at the thought of you even knowing of her. But no, you all choose to remain in such marriages and worse fight with the other woman.
DeleteLook at how a side chick is going to the extent of pretending to love children just because she wants marriage and a child with a married man. And the wife would remain in that marriage?
This is why ALL women need to be financially capable. His wife probably takes all these insults because she's financially dependent on the man. Gone should be the days when a woman suffers disrespect for most of her youth in the hope that she'll enjoy when she grows up. She now puts undue desire for affection in her children, especially her sons, eventually butting heads with his wife. She wakes up one morning and realizes that life has past her by.
Imagine if from the moment the wife found out, she takes her kids, walks out and focuses on her children and career, will the man have the guts to treat her disrespectfully? He would have discarded the other woman and moved mountains to get his wife back. If this doesn't happen and he decided to move on with the other woman, at least the wife would not be subjected to all the insults she has been receiving.
In as much as you guys are one in marriage, ones privacy should be respected. So I'll say no checking please.
ReplyDeleteBut private part can be checked and licked right?
DeleteBut you say they are one. Isn't personal privacy a division?
Deleteplease what is your private in marriage? your money is not private, your body is not private. so what is in the phone that will be private?
DeleteMy money and my phone are private, please
DeleteSearch for the sake of had I known in the future. It's better to know what you're dealing with than living in ignorance that'll cost you in future.
ReplyDeleteCorrect talk!
DeleteAvoid my phone, I will avoid yours. Touch mine, I touch your.. u agree?
ReplyDeleteit is not meant to be something you monitor or do everyday but if i cant just pick my hubbys phone once in a while then something is seriously wrong. I would be very suspicious of a husband who wont let me touch his phone. he will explain what he is hiding inside. i know his phone password anyway. I am all for respecting your partners privacy so i don't go snooping till am beginning to suspect anything cos you can have access to a mans phone and he still cheats. sometimes i even snoop not cos of other women but to read conversations between him and some relatives..lol..no be every family matter dem dey put mouth but you can have information to arm yourself with. all na part of wisdom in how to fight some battles. things dey happen for this life but bottom line is in a marriage both lives should be open as you are now one.. if you can touch and play with my private part nothing should be private..lol
ReplyDeleteCan you guys stop using this private parts analogy.. e no follow at all.
DeleteSo all these ladies exposing tohtoh like Dencia, and the ones exposing boobs up and down shouting my body is my body, I can wear what ever I want.. so because say we dey see their private parts in public, we now have rights to go through their phone messages bah, as per, what can be more private than their private parts we have seen..
Or because man fuck ashawo or ashawo girl fuck her sugar daddy, the ashawo and the sugar daddy respectively, can now have access to each other phone messages bah, at least what's more private than their private parts which one just fished giving deep throat and the other just opened wide for mad slamming..
Abeg e no follow.. There's a limit to everything..
You can continue checking your husband phone and reading his personal discuss with family, you go still see wetin you dey find one day.. always giving things they cannot take, would you be happy if he goes ahead snooping on your family discussions.. so much for wisdom.. na so una go dey find trouble.. when he discovers now and change the password, you'll start throwing tantrum and causing drama, instead of admitting breaching a trust.
Nonsense
Na wa for these responses oh,I'm speechless.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a snoop(er) by nature, but I should be able to have access to the phone whenever.
ReplyDeleteThat's my view sha.
Same here. Definitely not looking to go through your phone but then why should it be a problem?
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhy be with someone you can't be free with?!
ReplyDeleteLike, what is the meaning of privacy in marriage?🤔🤔
I don't understand the idea of hiding one's phone from one's spouse or even passwording your phone and your spouse not having access to the password ☹️☹️
I would be tempted to check his phone once in a while, but that will be if I suspect any of his moves. If he freely gives him assess to his phone I won't bother checking. I think its better not to check, to avoid tears of the heart & eyes
ReplyDeleteIt goes to show the level of immorality and moral depravity among your so called "celebs"😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏
ReplyDeleteDon't mind them. They all know what they do. That's why they are shouting "privacy, privacy!"
DeleteYou do so many intimate things together but phones are private? Perosnally makes no sense to me.
ReplyDeleteWell, sometimes it's not about cheating, there are other reasons to to respect ones privacy, at list to some extent, even if you guys are a couple.
ReplyDeleteThere are some discussions with friends, business partners, family which are confidential or not yet matured for you to know.
For example,
1. There are some discussion I might have with my friend which I would want it to stay just between us, if I find out his wife read up my private and confidential discussion, I won't like it at all. That would be the end of me telling him things, might even be the end of our friendship. I believe no one likes such. Let's not be guided by selfishness when taking decisions or doing certain things abeg.
2. Professional discussion. Some discussion are privileged, e.g discussion between doctor and patient, lawyer and client, security agencies etc. They are guided by professional rules of conduct/ confidentially. That you're married to him or her doesn't give you right to have such knowledge or informations.
As couples, we should be able to leave our phones with each other or even have each other's password, but it's rude and 'kind of' crossing the line to go ahead and start reading all my messages without my consent.Trust him or her to tell you what you need to know,or ask questions if you need info on something. It's not always about you ma.,
Let's not pretend like we're supporting oneness and openness in marriage, the truth is that most couple that read each other messages are actually doing it for selfish reasons or looking for a wrong-
Selfish reason- e.g trying to monitor the other couple's money in his account.
A wrong- e.g trying to investigate if he or she is cheating.
Abeg let's all be using our senses in doing things.
Blessings
Loud it Dante.
DeleteMost of them shouting here are doing it for selfish reasons. If a spouse want to cheat they will still cheat no matter the policing and the ostrich investigation carried out daily.
Why marry an irresponsible person then go ahead to give yourselves life time work of being an unpaid pseudo CIA. How long will you be spying on your partners phone.. Na wa
Lovelace
Thank u so much dante... most women don't reason, they just act ...thats y guys see women as children ... they act so immature
DeleteHonestly.
DeleteOne shouldn't constitute a nuisance on someone's phone in the name of "we can go through each others stuff".
Moderation is key.
The question that begs an answer is why should your partner be dying to have access to your phone, my dear,if it gets to this point in your relationship or marriage,then you are definitely sending the wrong signals.
ReplyDeleteThat's my 2 cent
I agree 💯 with Ruth
ReplyDeleteAll I know is snooping has saved some ladies from entering a wrong marriage. It has also saved from ladies from STDs or a fraudulent partner.
ReplyDeleteSnoop but be ready to face the consequences
Whether you check his phone or not, if he wants to cheat, he will. Same thing applies to the woman.
ReplyDeleteIs it not on this blog that we read about a man who kept a secret phone in his car which he uses to communicate with his concubines? He switches it off and hides it in his car when he gets home. Meanwhile his main phone was clean.
Madame go drive dat car one day. Everyday for d thief...
DeleteMy simple philosophy behind this conversation is this: Do you tell your partner everything you discuss with everyone? When I say everything, I don't mean everything word for word, I mean subject/topic of every conversation? If no and if you believe that there are some conversations you could have with friends of the same gender that you won't want to tell you partner, how would you feel if your partner picks up your phone and read through such a conversation? If you will feel okay then there should be no privacy.
ReplyDeleteConsider this scenario, if one of your friends is complaining about her/his spouse and the couple are mutual friends with you you may not want your partner to see such a conversation, so what happens in such a situation?
Unless your partner is a blabber mouth then what would be the issue? You could delete the conversation if you are so concerned with them coming upon it. But there is no problem if your partner's phone dies and they need to use your phone why they should not be able to. Or if you are both traveling to a destination and you left for the bathroom and someone from the address calls that they shouldn't be able to just grab your phone and take the call right away. Folks complicate their lives too much.
DeleteI used to use telephone booths where ppl waiting outside, complete strangers could hear your entire conversation. Sorry, I just can't get into this phone being ultra personal, may be a generational thing for me. But in my family even bank card pins are shared and we know each other's phone pin. God forbid an emergency crops up and someone can't get money or use the phone because they don't have the pin.
Go read the story about the Dutch girls who went hiking in Panama and both died because one of them phone was locked and the other didn't have the pin. Even when their government sent search and rescue and the phone had battery power they died in the wild because one couldn't unlock the phone to save her life. Tragic stuff.
Anon 21:16_ in your mind you have made sense abi. So if phone is locked and call comes in you cannot pick the call or locked phones cannot send SOS calls again. Is the discussion about handling phones or going on a searching spree.
DeleteSince most of you have decided to be searching phone, has anything changed.
I don't believe there should be any form of secrecy in marriage and that includes one's access to his/her spouse's phone biko
ReplyDeleteAs a woman, I don't want to check my husband's phone and I don't him touching my phone either. If you trust me, what do you want on my phone? The fact that you're a couple doesn't mean you must share everything
ReplyDeleteI think there's something wrong with checking the phone, it almost as if you're law enforcement, but you can have access to your partners phone.
ReplyDeleteIts weird when people say for your own peace of mind don't check, but if my partner honors our relationship there should be nothing in the phone that takes away my peace.
If you are putting someone's private parts in your mouth you can check their phone. What is more personal than some of the things couples engage in, yet a phone is a no go zone. Spare me.
ReplyDeleteBut I grew up at a time when there was one phone in the house and everyone heard your calls, so this whole privacy fiasco is out of touch with my history. But that is my own opinion.
Please my job makes me very very secretive.i lock my phone for the privacy of my patients and some of my husband colleagues and people he knows.i like giving help to my friends financially too to an extent which may not be okay for my husband.am gonna lock my phone till whenever,no preacher of no secret in marriage can change that.what works for you may not work for another person.in marriage wisdom has a major role to play too.
ReplyDeleteOnly people with skeleton in their cupboard are afraid of their spouse having access to their phones. Moral decadence at its peak. Why are you people living together in marriage then.So many cover ups in marriages these days.In the beginning it was never like this . What went wrong ?
ReplyDeleteWhich beginning?
DeleteU've just said it. If ppl live morally upright, why wd they care about their phones being accessed by their partners? I'd immediately suspect anyone who particularly guards his/her phone. Snooping may bring heartache but it can also spare one STD's and enable the one place their relationship in its proper perspective. That heartache u're running away from may take u by surprise at a later date.
Delete