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Tuesday, December 01, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmmm.......







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED AND HEARTBROKEN



Good day Stella.

Stella I am at a confused and heartbroken point at this time right now. 

I am 25 years old and a recent graduate. 

I met this guy many years ago and he asked me out but I wasn’t interested in him then so we remained friends. He still called once in a while then and we never brought up the relationship issue. 

We lost contact for a while but I was able to get through to him through his mum (I had her number because he once used it to call me so I checked my history tab on Truecaller and saw it there).


Last year, I needed a place to stay as I misplaced my key and the carpenter I called to help break the door said he won’t be available till after church (it was on a Sunday that day) so I decided to stay over till he (Carpenter) was done. While there, he made sure I was comfortable and treated me like a guest. He jokingly even asked me if I remembered him asking me out and how I would shout at him on the phone then and we laughed. 

One thing led to another and we kissed. 

When it was time, I left there and he called asking if I had gotten home. I noticed he kept on calling me everyday as the days went by and he would tell me how much he loved me and all. 


As the months rolled by, we had gotten extremely close. One time he introduced me to his friends as his girlfriend and I remember telling him he didn’t ask me out. He looked at me and said you’re wifey already. I don’t need to ask you out because I know you’re meant for me.


Sigh!


We continued the relationship and at this point his mum and basically everyone knew we were together but I still had my doubts.

Long story short, I found out he already had a son. My enemy wanted to die that day. Called him and we spoke about it; he said he was scared to tell me because he didn’t know how I would react (I agree my temper can be really bad) and that he was sorry.

 He promised that it wouldn’t change anything between us and tbh it hasn’t changed but Stella I always feel jealous whenever I see pictures of them Because I feel she has an advantage over me forever and he could leave me anytime because of his son. 


I’ve spoken to him about this and he has assured me but I still cannot help feel this way. I also haven’t forgiven him and I don’t know if I would but I know I love him. I also feel jealous whenever he goes there because I feel something might happen between the two of them.


How do I make this feeling go away?


Should I just break up with him and walk away? I’ve tried this a million and one times but he still always apologize and begs me to come back but at this stage, I’m already considering it...

If I want to make this work, how do I forgive and forget about him hiding it from me and also kissing his sons mother one time. He tells me they’ve broken up but from the messages I see on his phone, she still talks to him like her boyfriend. 


Sometimes he replies and sometimes he doesn’t. She sometimes complain about he doesn’t Tell her he loves her anymore and how things has changed between them and then he apologizes. The fact that he still cannot end things entirely with her is still an issue in our relationship and I know he cheated on me with her and I found out. 


He apologized and swore on his sons life never to happen again but I still don’t believe him. Whenever he goes there for visiting, I cannot help it and I don’t call him through out that day because I feel there’s probably something between them. He does the calling at the end of the day and asks why I didn’t call him while he was there. 


She also doesn’t know he has a girlfriend because she still thinks she’s the girlfriend ..

I also know for a fact that he doesn’t love her as much as he loves me but I still cannot help it
I just want to know what to do because at this point I’m tired of these whole feelings. 

Note: we’re both okay financially; although he is doing better but it’s not the money that is making me act a fool. We also haven’t had s#x as well.
Please help...





*Hmmmm silent cheater.

Please let him end things with her or let you go and continue with her,because nah there you go dey hear say baby number two is on the way and he will tell you its a mistake...In Fact that is what she will aim to do the minute she hears he has a girlfriend.

Is the boy not old enough for him to visit his Father?why must he go to her house all the time?there is no way they will avoid sleeping with each other if they are always alone oh...

He must have paraded her to family and friends the way he is parading you now...for all you know sef you might be the available side chic

Your boyfriend needs to define who he wants and what he wants or you should take that walk......He should continue begging his forefather anytime he cheats or makes a mistake and you need to draw the line!!!

48 comments:

  1. What is it with people saying "my enemy this, my enemy that".πŸ™„πŸ™„. And if you can't cope with his son, and his baby mama, then take a walk. Why be in a relationship where you have doubts??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess she is her own enemy going by this story sef.

      Delete
    2. Stopped reading half way. My advice is if you can't cope now,call it off. My elder brother married his wife and she knew head 2 boys sef for that matter. She was the one that told hi to brings the boys home. Now they are grown in university. There mum comes to the house to visit them. So sister, pack one side if you can't cope.

      Delete
    3. Poster, you are the side chick. Good you haven't slept with him. Move on and allow him be faithful to his main relationship. You know about her, she doesn't know about you? Side chick!!!

      You are too young for babymama drama nne.

      Delete
    4. This is more than coping with the baby boy,its the guy cheating on you with the mom he has 'supposedly' broken up with.
      Why would he keep u as a secret from her?apologize when she says he doesnt declare love to her?smell the coffee sis,bros is eating his cake and having it,keep up with the NO SEX till you are sure!

      Delete
  2. Poster you better move on with your life. Anything that is stress and disturb your sanity is not a relationship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster was he in lag and recently got transfered to Abj? Does his igbo name start with C? If yes,raannnnnn! I say raannnnnnn!

      Delete
  3. I have told you girls severally here to stop putting all your eggs in one basket..una no dey hear!..
    How can a young girl like you have only one boyfriend?...
    You will see his through colour when he has sex with you..
    Trust me,he still fucks the baby mama..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My queen 🀣🀣🀣🀣

      Delete
    2. Copy cat 🐱1 December 2020 at 17:31

      Queen queen where have you been?

      Delete
    3. True! He is still stringing you along cos he hasn't eaten the cookie yet. Try sleeping with him and he will clear your doubt. And he will hang on o. What does he stand to loose anyway; he still has her and his son so he will seat back and wait to eat the cookie the show you his true colour.

      Delete
  4. The guy is very much still with that lady, he might dump you after gbenshing, so run as far as your legs could go




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
  5. Poster...you are too young for this emotional trauma. Trust your instinct, you feel unsettled. This man is attached to that babe. It's painful, but trust me, let it go and you'll meet someone without baggage, a relationship where you will be the one and only queen and don't feel threatened. This one is an emotional torture relationship, you will cry today, be happy tomorrow and so on.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Poster you see just waka with SDK advice, her advice today knock pigeons lol


    I hate it when a guy will not open his mouth and ask a lady out, is it too big to say “Can I be your bf”?????? Before I date you ehhhh I must ask me out officially, I see it as being rude or cunning, and most times watch it, any guy that refused to ask a girl out officially either want her as a side chick or he is married and they are always quick to draw penis out shhhhhmmmmm

    ReplyDelete
  7. Did I read kissing and baby mama, biko oso oso gbawa door, u are wasting ur time, that baby mama of his, if she is not lucky with marriage will be a bone in your throat, start considering other guys, with the kind of fufu and okro soup relationship your guy has with the babymama, baby No 2 is close by.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear poster, I would advise you to tell him to define your relationship,tell him calmly but be firm about it.
    I totally understand how you feel but dating a single dad ain't easy, especially one that hasn't defined the relationship status.
    And about him always apologising and swearing on his son's life, girl! He is beginning to abuse it
    Try to make the last apology the last one indeed!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Side chic alert...that BM is still banging him n will continue to bang him even if he's married.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Poster the ex will always have an advantage over you and unlike what Stella said, he can't end things with her because they have a kid together.
    You can either deal with your Jelousy or lose a good man(like you've called him).
    My 2 cents

    ReplyDelete
  11. If he wants you, tell him to take you there too, he should tell the lady about you. From her reaction, conclude. Close your legs like a mermaid o #NoTimeToWaste

    ReplyDelete
  12. This story sounded like a friend's many years ago. Based on her experience, I will suggest you dont put all your eggs in this basket o. that was how the guy wasted my friend's life for over 6 years from one baby mama issues to another! my friend had a child for him too and still he didnt marry her she was concerned about the other lady, mehn it is something no woman should go through, the uncertainty and all. Men like this love to have them all. He is not willing to leave any of you, will u be ok with that arrangement?

    ReplyDelete
  13. You know for a fact that you are the one he loves abi? Because he told you so right? Yet his baby mama doesn't know you exist. To me, you are just the available side chick like Stella said. The day she finds out about you, he'll apologise and tell her she is the one he loves just like he is deceiving you. Better use your tongue to count your teeth.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think the guys likes the poster, but he can't stop seeing his son that's is first fruit
    Sha do what ur mind tells you we met it in life you can't marry everyone you date...if it works fine if it doesn't fine..its life shit happens

    ReplyDelete
  15. It will be best for you to take a firm decision at this point. It's better for a relationship to be πŸ’”than a πŸ’” marriage that's even if he has any plans of such. Take a walk, I know it won't be easy but.........

    ReplyDelete
  16. Those men that are quick to cry and beg are the most mischievous ones. Serial fuckups.

    Have you found out the true reason why he’s not with his baby mama anymore?

    If you cannot be firm about certain things when dating, you cannot enforce them when married.

    Pray and apply wisdom. Your intuition is already giving you signals. You know what to do.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Have you asked him why he is not marrying his baby mama?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Poster this your case be like one chance. I no trust this your man. He is not a responsible kinda person, from your narration he still sleeps with her, they are not yet over each other, it doesn't look good at all.
    I suggest you give him space to sort himself, he truly doesn't know what he wants.
    You can still stick around and watch him, but don't be too heartbroken if the suspected actions eventually happens.

    ReplyDelete
  19. He is likely still sleeping with his baby mama and they have an active romantic relationship. You may end hurting yourself if you don't walk away. You are always forgiving him, first it was kissing his baby mama, then for cheating on you. What else have you forgiven him. Why is he always going to his baby mama's place, why is it difficult to tell her he dating you. The fact he deliberately did not tell her, he is in a relationship, shows he playing some money games

    ReplyDelete
  20. Find one, get one free. 🚢‍♀️🚢‍♀️🚢‍♀️🚢‍♀️🚢‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
  21. Lady, at the point you saw a commotion you purposefully inserted yourself into it...and stayed.
    It is left for you to take a walk or stay put.
    The thing I always see in stories about marriage occurred here too; no mention of a relationship with Jesus, the creator and instituter of marriage. He is the one that molds an enduring marriage. This one you described up there does not look like it. Where to start? Give your life to Jesus and stop struggling to grope in darkness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So people should tell you about their relationship with Jesus because you’re his PA? Christians don’t have relationship issues? Or is it that atheists and people of other religions don’t find love. Nasty attitudes and comments like this chase people from Christ instead of the other way round

      Delete
  22. AllI will say is sha shine your eyes and keep your legs closed. Don't believe the words of a man that hasn't slept with you yet. And when u sleeep together don't believe what he says until he marries you. in the meantime have more than one option of man . e get why

    ReplyDelete
  23. Gut feelings always are for a reason. You were always cautious with him for a reason.

    Your jealousy is too much especially directed at an innocent child. When your emotions go so far you have to take a deep look at yourself. The child is not going anywhere and his needs for his father will get greater as he gets older. If you can't handle it now, how will you handle it later? The child will always be the firstborn child for that man. These are things that will never change as long as time exists.

    For your own peace of mind you are better off going your own way. You do not owe anyone anything who deceives you by not disclosing something so important and giving you a chance to decide if you want to get involved with that instead of just thrusting it upon you. You obviously are not taking the situation well, you have even tried to leave numerous times before which only shows that your heart isn't in it. You cannot remain in a relationship where there is no peace in your spirit. The man deserves a partner who will respect him and the child deserves a step-mom who will love him. You are unable to fulfill the emotional and spiritual needs of this role because at the core of your being this situation is not what you desire. At 25 you have youth on your side. You don't have to sign up for anything undesirable, you can ditch this situation and still find your king to go rule with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for spitting fact she's a jealous person and if this guy eventually wife her ehn,she go show d pikin shege

      Delete
  24. Ultimatums work. Try it. Wait till his son's birthday or any other event she will be present. Ask him to introduce you to her as his girlfriend. This is a good place to start. Be nice and ask for this gracefully. Don't give him attitude... until he refuses to introduce you to her. Give him a grace period of let's say 1 month and tell him that you will move on if he doesn't. And don't listen to any yeye begging.
    Once he has introduced you to her... have a really intimate conversation with her. Be nice and warm, don't famz her or try to be her bff. Just gist with her and ask her general questions like what her hobbies are, where she grew up, etc. If she is going to be a pain in the neck you will know from that conversation.
    See, some of us... our siblings are not full siblings and there was little to no drama growing up, because all the parents involved were mature.
    But again, just look at 2face and his baby mamas. It is a testament that things can go well or wrong and this depends on who you're dealing with.

    ReplyDelete
  25. The writing is on the wall, you are a detour on their way to marriage.
    If the child is under 5 years old, he is still nacking her and telling himself it isn't cheating because you are not sleeping together.

    If you like keep wasting your own time. This man has shown you he's dishonest, deceitful and unfaithful and your enemy is still here asking foolish questions. Ko buru

    ReplyDelete
  26. Kukuma walk away now that you can..... The truth is that, you cant take the truth.... Save yourself the drama and heartbreak and walk away.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Please walk away. I don't think you're emotionally able to handle having a step child.

    Besides, personally, I'll never date a man who has a single baby mama. Sorry but I hate wahala for any kind.

    ReplyDelete
  28. You are the side chic. Even if he swears on his life you are not, don't believe him. Even if he swears on his prick don't believe him. He is still very much involved with baby mama.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Men naturally sleep with their babymamas. Infact any woman that births a child is his wife until oyinbo brought one man one wife . Only 0.00001% of men dont sleep with their babymamas

    ReplyDelete
  30. Poster you should distance from that guy with baggage until he is able to define what he has with him. Please keep your legs closed with him.

    The guy is not ready to end it up with his baby mama. He is only acting nice because you are yet to open legs.

    A man can go to any length just to get what he want.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I don't know if you will still see this, but there's a huge red flag. The issue is not that he has a child. The issue is that he didn't tell you until you found out about it yourself. He also has not told his baby mama that he now has a girlfriend. Instead, he's chopping her by the side. He is not an honest person,and marrying a liar is the most exhausting thing ever

    ReplyDelete
  32. I don't know if you will still see this, but there's a huge red flag. The issue is not that he has a child. The issue is that he didn't tell you until you found out about it yourself. He also has not told his baby mama that he now has a girlfriend. Instead, he's chopping her by the side. He is not an honest person,and marrying a liar is the most exhausting thing ever

    ReplyDelete
  33. You’re wasting your time drop him like it’s hot

    ReplyDelete
  34. I can't pass by on this one abeg even dou I'm late.

    Poster:YOU ARE HIS SIDECHICK: YES!.
    He is more into the baby mama than you: forget the brain washing: YES o..


    How come you know about the baby mama but she doesnt know about you,lol.He kno fit inform the babe naw cos she go scatter things

    He still sleeps with her and if you don't walk now',don't be suprise to be invited to their wedding, believe me..

    Try these two if you truly want to confirm what I said.

    1.Tell him to take you to the baby mama, let him introduce you as his girlfriend ,this will give you the reality of things.
    2.Start having sex with him cos that's exactly why he is still stringing you along, and see this so called relationship you made in your head go south.

    These two things I listed here will give you the answer you seek.

    But i will advice you leave that guy and walk away with your dignity intact.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I can't pass by on this one abeg even dou I'm late.

    Poster:YOU ARE HIS SIDECHICK: YES!.
    He is more into the baby mama than you: forget the brain washing: YES o..


    How come you know about the baby mama but she doesnt know about you,lol.He kno fit inform the babe naw cos she go scatter things

    He still sleeps with her and if you don't walk now',don't be suprise to be invited to their wedding, believe me..

    Try these two if you truly want to confirm what I said.

    1.Tell him to take you to the baby mama, let him introduce you as his girlfriend ,this will give you the reality of things.
    2.Start having sex with him cos that's exactly why he is still stringing you along, and see this so called relationship you made in your head go south.

    These two things I listed here will give you the answer you seek.

    But i will advice you leave that guy and walk away with your dignity intact.

    ReplyDelete

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