Stella Dimoko Mrs Dee's Corner - Different Strokes For Different Folks..


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Friday, December 11, 2020

Mrs Dee's Corner - Different Strokes For Different Folks..

It's always a thing of joy to reach out and lend a helping hand to those in need. 

Both the giver and the receiver feel blessed and fulfilled, but it can sometimes be awkward when the receiver comes back with appreciation and the giver out of modesty waves it off or even refuses to acknowledge doing anything.

I have noticed that people react differently to being appreciated for their kindness.

While some have no qualms with accepting the thanks and moving on, others feel embarrassed and gently caution the receiver not to mention it.

In rare cases, some givers just refuse to accept any form of gratitude and this can make the receiver feel unsure about the state of mind of the giver.

I know someone who foots the tuition fees of a young lady he is not related to in any way. Whenever she or her mum calls to say thank you, he doesn't pick up their calls, he reads their text messages of appreciation without replying ...

This doesn't mean he won't help out the next time they ask for help. He says he finds the non-stop ' thank yous' embarrassing and unnecessary.

On the other hand, another person I know will be the one to remind the receiver that she/he never expressed gratitude for the last act of kindness and will even threaten not to help anymore until the offender apologizes and shows appreciation.

It leaves me wondering on who is right or wrong or is it just a case of different personalities at play?


  1. Food for thought! Just appreciate and move on. Some people even thank you for a deed of 2weeks,ago. I dont like it

    1. I'm like the man,i don't like being thanked continuously just once is enough,but hubby on the other hand likes continuous thanks.

  2. I really don't like it when someone keeps saying thank you. Once is even embarrassing enough.

    I really don't want the person feeling indebted or low. I really don't want the person feeling shy

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  4. I know a lady who works in a health facility. A widow's only chld was admitted for malnutrition among other things. She needed blood or she would die within days. the widow had no money for blood. The lab refused to release a pint of blood.
    The doctors and nurses will come on rounds everyday and bark at this lady that she hasn't provided the blood for her daughter's treatment. All she did was cry.
    The lady worker had her tithe to pay that week. She took the money and went to the lab with the woman and paid for the blood. Within a week, they were discharged and this lady picked the bills. She began paying her tithes to an account she opened for this widow to fund her trade. After a five month period, the widow pleaded with her that she no longer needed her assistance as her business was doing very well. She could sustain herself and child with the income she was making.
    So one day, the widow showed up at the health facility and the nursed recognized her. She asked them about her helper, they told her she was on leave.
    The widow asked for her address, they refused to give her citing protocols. The widow just camped there with her bags, created a scene until the MD told them to give her the address. She showed up at this lady's door with a huge chicken (that's one of what she sells), just to show appreciation for saving her only child's life.

    1. May God bless her kind heart

    2. Oowww

      God bless the heslth worker.
      Her tithe served its purpose fur the widow and child.
      That's what I would do too, always helping the needy.
      I accept the greeting, and say its OK when they're beginning to want to worship me in gratitude.
      All glory must belong to God.

    3. Am telling you. This is what I will do with my tithes, instead of giving it to those who are greedy and neglect the widows and orphans..

  5. The man did nothing wrong. Some people do not like being thanked when they do a good deed. They are so conscious of the fact that they did it to the glory of God alone, and not for your sake or theirs. They see you thanking them as taking away from the real source who deserves the praise. They are honest enough and so self-aware to admit to themselves that they do not deserve the adulation because after all, God could have used anyone he deemed fit so they do not bother about being appreciated and feel uneasy when placed on a pedestal.

    1. Miss D was just asking a rhetorical question. She is not saying you should castigate or exonerate anyone. Please try to read and stop jumping to conclusion.

    2. "In rare cases, some givers just........this can make the receiver to feel unsure about the state of mind of the giver"

      That statement up there is sadly true. The receiver may feel confused, and that action could send a "WRONG" message to some receivers who are used to showing appreciation excessively that the sender gave half-heartedly. I thought the action though sending a "WRONG" message doesn't make the action itself "WRONG" though some may even see it as a sign of pride.

      My first statement was borne of out of that simple statement up there not the rhetorical question you are battling with. So, I thought still, rejecting adulation is not wrong based on the confused feelings it creates in the mind of the receiver or the wrong messages it might pass across since that action came from a place of humility and reverence irrespective of how it made the receiver feels.

      There are quite a few angles to what she wrote and I shouldn't be limited to how I pick each piece of her writing to process it.

      Read Again and this time, please take your own advice and quit telling me what was said and what wasn't. You are honestly begging the wrong person here. I read well and comprehend issues beyond shallow surfaces.

      If you have any issues with my comments prior to this, please make that known rather than hide under this particular comment to give me unsolicited advice laced with fake pleadings.

  6. We are all different.

    I am like that man, just tell me thanks onc and leave me alone, infact if you don't say thanks I don't mind at all.

    I can't handle being appreciated honestly, it's so embarrassing! I am like who am I that my fellow human is thanking me like this.

    Some people can show appreciation o, like they will tell who ever cares to listen how you helped them, they will thank you and thank you till you turn pink, just kill me!

    1. Me too.i become embarrassed when you say thanks when I do something to you/ for you.

  7. I don’t like too much thank you .

  8. My husband doesn't like all the thanking and stuff. Infact if you call him, he won't pick cos he knows you are calling to express gratitude.

  9. I don't like being thanked for a good deed , especially publicly it keeps me very uncomfortable.
    I'm a believer that all thanks should go to God as I'm not but his vessel. However when I'm thanked I give a quick nod and that's it.

  10. In my view, the right thing is to say ‘thank you’ when someone does something for you. Whether the person accepts or replies is his/her prerogative. Just don’t overdo the ‘thanks’ as if the giver is your God. Say ‘thank you’, honestly, I believe you must, then move on.

  11. A giver who doesn't beg to be appreciated has his/her reward coming from God.

  12. Me I like appreciation o..infact if I give u something or I did something for u and u didn't appreciate or thank me na bye bye be that o..u can never get anything from me again.
    That was how I gave a woman helping my mum in village some clothes,this woman couldn't call to thank me.After some months I travelled to the village,she saw me and didn't even greet me.i had to call her and aked her if she didn't receive the clothes I gave her (she even wore one that day) she started stammering.i told her they don't do things that way.she started begging that she doesn't no how to approach me.infact since then I stopped giving her anything.

  13. I am of the school of thought of thanking someone who has done you a favour no matter how small whether the person likes being thanked or not. Jesus healed 10 leapers and only one was made whole because he came back to say thank you. Send that appreciation even when you know the person will say 'don't mention.

  14. Another angle; the man doesn't pick their calls because he doesn't want their gratitude to extend to offering sexual favors. Some women have been known to try to entice a man who helped them financially, seeing him as a potential husband even when the man is married.

  15. Different strokes for different folks. Be appreciative, the reaction you get doesn't matter, just say thank you as it goes a long way.


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