Hmmmmm.....
IN A DILEMMA
Hi Stella, I hope this email finds you well.
I'm kinda in a dilemma right now, there's this guy I've been dating for 2 years and we plan to tie the knot next year, honestly he's a good man, my dream man! He traveled 6 months ago but we talk multiple times everyday.
3 months ago I met a new man(Mr B) we started off as friends and then started hanging out often and developed strong feelings for each other.
A few days ago he started talking about coming to see my Parents and I spoke to a friend who asked me to pray about it. She introduced me to her pastor and I gave him the both men's names.
The pastor came back to say Mr B is my husband!
Got another pastors number and he said the same thing!
Hi Stella, I hope this email finds you well.
I'm kinda in a dilemma right now, there's this guy I've been dating for 2 years and we plan to tie the knot next year, honestly he's a good man, my dream man! He traveled 6 months ago but we talk multiple times everyday.
3 months ago I met a new man(Mr B) we started off as friends and then started hanging out often and developed strong feelings for each other.
A few days ago he started talking about coming to see my Parents and I spoke to a friend who asked me to pray about it. She introduced me to her pastor and I gave him the both men's names.
The pastor came back to say Mr B is my husband!
Got another pastors number and he said the same thing!
I'm not one to believe in prophecy and all that, I believe in God but don't go to church! I don't even know how to pray to hear from God by myself.
Mr B is a good man too but I feel like I do not know him enough.
Should I go ahead with my Mr A?
Has anyone had this kinda issue before? What did they do?
I know I shouldn't have gone through this route but the deed has been done! I'm so scared! I've lost my peace.
Dont be a fool!!!
What do you know about the Mr B?Do you know his genotype?How can you give your life's decision to Pastors when you can study your situation and talk to God?like are you for real?Both Pastors only studied how you reacted and told you what you need to know..if you have fallen out of love with Mr A ;then say so both dont hide behind pastors prophecy.
You’re cheating on your first boyfriend that you agreed to marry next year. Carry on with the second man already so the first guy can get a faithful woman. Shebi if he were the one that moved on with another woman you would have been cursing him upandan.
ReplyDeleteAbi o
DeleteThen, men would be called scum!
DeleteWho's the scum now??
Stella one tombo for you.
DeletePoster,are you for real?
Go for the one that gives you peace of mind
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly how bad girls eventually marry early. A good girl will not even dare cheat.
Delete@Sapphire you are so right😂
DeletePoster you better stop this pastor thing . What happen to you praying and watching the character trait of the said man.
ReplyDeleteJust to get settle you are already confuse. Running from one pastor to another. In the said marriage, don't know what you will do when difficulty arise.
Is it the pastor that is going to be married and live with Mr. B?
ReplyDeleteWhy are you so weak in spirit?!, Its never too late to turn to God and seek His face in everything concerning your life. Take every situation to Him and He will show you the way.
You should know better what you want in your heart...
You cheated on a man that you've been with for two years just because he travelled 6months ago. That means you will cheat on Mr B when his work takes him far away from you.
Please, go seek God's face
Poster all I can say it this:
ReplyDeleteDon't rush. Tell Mr B to take it slow,don't sound suspicious, be at peace with yourself., I know you will thinking what if you reject Mr B and Mr A ends up leaving you, don't let your feelings send you into wrong decision.
At the end if you take it slow and steady you will find where you peace is and follow it.
Give it time and everything will be revealed to you.
Pray to God and answers will come, prayer works, learn to trust God and listen to him.
So what offense has Mr. A committed?
ReplyDeleteWhy use your own hands to dig your grave, will you have liked Mr. A to do same to you?
Why seek "pastors" instead of God, the Lord Jesus?
Begin by telling him to forgive your sins and begin to "converse with him daily through his teachings in the New Testament." That is how to start.
Please discard this kind of mentality
of running helter skelter before you run into a ditch. Stay away from Mr. B. And be careful, that "friend" taking you to "pastors" might end up telling your Mr. A that you have found someone else.
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🤷♀️🤷♀️
Poster, what I normally do that works for me is to take time to pray and ask God to create circumstances that will take me to the right place or person and it always works for me.
ReplyDeleteIn the time being, please don't hurt or upset any of them so it doesn't seem like you set out to break anyone's heart, just let it play out and trust the process after you have prayed, closing your legs might also be a good idea to avoid any mixup or confusion.
Please stay away from Mr. B for now.
ReplyDeleteSeek to develop a relationship with Jesus and not just because of whom to marry.
You need God, I need him, not the other way round.
Now that you are fretting, is time to fall into evil and those "pastors" are well positioned to lead you into it.
No other human tells another whom to marry or not. It is a decision left for you and your creator.
Jesus never did anything like that. Read his teachings and find out for yourself.
Women and pastors!
ReplyDeleteDo men do this pick me dance thing?
Are like 5&6...
DeleteLovelace
You are your own priest. Ask God for a sign. These pastors sometimes
ReplyDeleteHmmm Stella you've said it all.
ReplyDeleteA as in, I can't understand us humans at all....Dear Madam Poster, if you don't know how to pray, kindly talk to GOD the same way you talk with your parents, family and friends and HE will definitely answer you.
ReplyDeletePastors are not the ones living with the individual but you, Pastors are to guide; You know you forest, lead,clear and curve your path.
If it were your parents that told you that was your husband will you take it hook, line and sinker?
Follow your heart
ReplyDeleteYou wear the shoes, you know how it feels and where it pinches you.
Please note that God never chooses husbands or wives for people and that pastor thing is shit (i'm not sorry).
ReplyDeletePeople have been blinded by my pastor this, my pastor that and yet I wonder why Jesus went through the stress of giving us access to the Father if he still wanted only prophets/pastors to hear from him.
Biko what happened to your own ears? Are you deaf?
A lot of people get into wrong marriages by not knowing what they want or what is a turn off or red flag for them. They just go with the flow and take what ever they see. yet when their choice turns out bad they look for what to blame and live in regrets.
I want to assume you are an adult and smart too, you alone have been with both men. Sit down and thoroughly look at both men, ask yourself what kind of marriage you want, what do you really want in a life partner and what kind of father you want for your kids. when you are done ask yourself which of these men do you think fit into these position.
You see as people chant that marriage is hard work and bad, there are also people who chant that marriage is easy and beautiful. But that easy and beautiful can only be gotten if you are with a man or woman who shares same good vision for marriage, if not even if na pastor use hand give you, that marriage can also bring you misery and a sad lonely life.
So forget what anyone (including your pastors) says and follow your heart, seek God for yourself on these matter and check for the peace he gives to men and women who has found the one and youd find the answer you see.
All the best to you.
May.
#have #seek.
DeleteMay.
15:27 JUKWA YA! @
DeleteI wonder why Jesus went through the stress of giving us access to the Father if he still wanted only prophets/pastors to hear from him.
Biko what happened to your own ears? Are you deaf? 👏👏👏👏
Marriage just dey hungry you so tey you can't even go into details to compare the two.
ReplyDeleteI stopped at "I have him the both 'men's' names"...
ReplyDeleteThis one doesn't have sense
Go for the God fearing among the two.
ReplyDeleteJust 3months, you re this confused, anyway people married same day they met on this blog.Take your time.
ReplyDeletePls marry Mr B. Then any problem u have in ur marriage call the pastor. I am tired of people putting their life decisions in other human beings hands. Do whatever u want I beg. Pastor from only God knows where!!
ReplyDelete"3 months ago I met a new man(Mr B) we started as friends and then started hanging out often and developed strong feelings for each other".
ReplyDeleteYou were evasive and not forthcoming with the truth. What I deduced from your post is that you started dating a new man while in a long-distance relationship with another man who you claim treats you well, right? I believe that is your answer right there. If you truly love the first you wouldn't be swayed away by another man to the point of being asked to meet your folks to discuss marriage. What was missing in the relationship that prompted you into getting emotionally attached to another man while still hanging on to your main beau? The fear of putting all your eggs in one basket?
Is this new man privy to the fact that he is dating someone else's woman? You are toying with the hearts of two men and you seem confused yourself that I am forced to ask why double-deal when you claim your man has been nothing but good to you and your wedding is around the corner?
I always suggest you pray at the instant moment a man shows interest in being in a relationship with you. That is the right time to ask God for his will at the start not when you have gone all the way. It's not too late though to get back to the drawing board and ask God to reveal to you who he wants you to have in your life. You are a priest too. You do not need to go to any prophets to reveal to you issues about your life when Christ is easily accessible to all. All the " who should I pick between guy A and Guy B, questions" aren't ours to answer nor any prophets but God himself who knows what is best for you. It could be Guy A or Guy B as a matter of fact, none might even be the one for you. Surprised? Well God sees what we do not see. We only see the surface while God sees the depth of a situation. He knows how your life will turn out, the happiness that awaits you or the struggles you will face depending on which man you end up settling with. The decision of who to settle with could only turn out right when you lay it before the father himself who fashioned you and also orchestrated marriage. Do not say I do not know how to pray. You had better learn, sweetheart. This is why it is good to have a personal relationship with Christ and a strong prayer life from the start. It helps in so many ways because before you make a step Christ warns you and pulls you back if it is a dangerous move and steer you towards the better route. Take your time off both men, do not engage in sin. Go to God in prayer, not prophets. God sits beside you and sees you going around running shelter skelter and he is wondering why you can't just turn to him who knows all. Tell him to reveal to you what to do. He could speak to you through dreams or real-life situation. He answers.
U don't need to learn how to pray, just talk to God as you talk to your friend before you sleep, he will show u, be convinced spiritually and physically that mr B is ur husband before u agree, so that incase of tommorrow you will not blame anybody.
ReplyDeleteStella don't u think those pastor's might have actually heard from God.
It is the spending of time together that causes ppl to bond. If you had not entertained Mr. B or spent time with him this would not be an issue. I am not concerned about what the pastor said. I am more concerned as to why you felt the need to spend time with Mr. B to the point that he wants to meet your parents.
ReplyDeleteWell-said Anon 15:45.👌👍
DeletePoster's goal is to get married to any man, Mr A, Mr B, M C.... or Z. KEEP DECEIVING YOURSELF.
"Honestly he's a good man, my dream man" poster you didn't really need to meet any pastor. The answer you seek is right inside of you. You know it and feel it but don't want to accept what your inner self tells you. To avoid further confusion, sit and consider the two men again, this time write down what you truly think and feel about them
ReplyDeleteA lot of nonsense going on here tho.
ReplyDeleteWhen a pastor gets involved, that's the end of it all. Even if you pick anyone by yourself, you'd always feel like you made a mistake at any slight misunderstanding.
Abeg good luck.
But alot of people pray before choosing a partner,it is just that this days you don't know who is a true man of God.
ReplyDeleteI did this and I have no regrets.Infact it was recently I saw that things have changed.
It was like a usual thing back then,the bride and groom's families prays about the union separately before starting anything.
See Poster, WHAT IF it's Mr. A that sent Mr. B to try your faithfulness❓
ReplyDeleteSome of you my fellow women are soooo FICKLE! God have mercy on you! 🙄🤦♀️
Pastor said this, Pastor said that.. abeg FOH. That's how one pastor that thunder will still fire told the woman that gave birth to me that my father is not her God given husband and the Werey left us for her boss. Nonsense.
ReplyDeleteI would like to know more as i am also praying over a certain person... i have had good dreams but i just want to be sure that my dreams are not being manipulated.... Lord please show forth in this situation... i want you to lead while i follow...not the other way round.
ReplyDeletePoster!! How many ears u get? wetin u dey use dem for? If i use my mouth cut kolanut 4u dnt eat it but if i use it advice u take am
ReplyDeleteU r ur own pastor!!!
Dnt put sentiment here
I could remember years baq, i was in love with my BF(now hubby), another guy came from nowhere too. Cos my boyfriend traveled, the second guy was able to come in. Wen i was confused of wat to do, One nyt i laid naked on bed at d middle of d nyt n spoke to God abt d 2guys for which one to choose. Hmm! Daughter of Zion, who says God cant hear directly from His children?
It was nt up to a week after my silent n whispered prayers. God made me to kno d type of person guy B was... Sharp sharp, i held unto the guy A like a lifejacket. We r both happily married now for over 10yrs.
Pls dnt believe in they see vision 4me kind of life. I am nt saying no real prophets o but u r d one dat wants to marry so u kno d best 4u.
That is my truelife story o
Poster please seek God first ask him for a sign to know who is d right man for u! Best wishes dear
ReplyDeletePoster dear, what assurance do you have that Mr A will not change his mind with the marriage come next year combined with the fact that he just traveled? Take your time and see if Mr B fits in into what you want in a man. It's a 50/50 chance with Mr A so don't be at the losing end. Best of luck
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend grand aunt took the names of two ladies her son was dating to pastor for prayers to know the real and better wife btw them. To cut d short story long, the one pastor chose according to them. The wedding didn't last for 2years. The man remained a bachelor till he died after becoming a polygamist.
ReplyDeleteMy dear don't put your eggs in one basket, if it is abroad that Mr A travel to place him on 50/50 chance, I am saying this from experience and stories of people in this shoe,my hubby met my parent in just 4 months into our relationship so it's possible dear but I pray to God myself to show me if he was the one and God spoke to me in series of dreams, what I am saying here is stop meeting pastors to know if Mr B is the one , make up your mind to pray, you can always learn to pray from just google, all those prophecies sometimes are what has ruin many couples, single, elderly men and women lives remember pray in faith dear. Good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteYou believe in God but you don't go to church and you don't know how to pray.... Ahhhh, now marriage don dey smell, you come gree involve church pastor, and you dey think say you no go confuse your confusion......
ReplyDeleteYou didn't tell us if Mr A's travel is a long term something or short term, a lot of hidden details....
Just drop 2 of them and look for Mr C...
That could be the best😯😯😯
1. You're cheating on Mr. A. Tomorrow, you'll say "men are scum"
ReplyDeleteI won't be surprised if your friend is conniving with Pastor as she hopes to get Mr. A one day
I feel the Pastors didn't hear anything from God, they just used common sense (plus they are men) to tell you to go with Mr.B. The common sense is that Mr.A hasn't proposed or met your parents yet. Yes, he plans to, but as at today, he hasn't. The abroad journey for immigrants especially Nigerians is not easy. It takes years to make it and get papers, and most of the time, relationships like yours suffer or even end. But Mr.B they feel is more real as he is at least, physically present and willing. Ultimately the choice is yours...
ReplyDeleteThis is why God warns us against premarital sex. Cos you're not married until you are married. Therefore you can't cheat on someone you are not married to, or at least engaged to. Marriage is the ultimate commitment, Engagement has at least a respected level of commitment. But boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is not set in stone. Not recognized as a binding union in tradition or religion or legally. However you owe your boyfriend honesty, but if you stay away from sexual sin, you can't actually cheat on anyone. My thoughts.
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ReplyDeleteI don't disobey the word of God through his anointed, but the problem is you are also not weak in spirit to be lead, so at this point I tink you need to follow your heart.
ReplyDelete