Stella Dimoko Chronicles Of A Married Man -9


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Sunday, January 24, 2021

Chronicles Of A Married Man -9

Have you ever seen a married couple having s#x related issues trying to discuss it and then it degenerates to family meetings?

One of the most awkward things I have had to do was trying to settle my parents when they have their usual quarrels that starts from the bedroom that relates to sex. Inasmuch I like playing counselor and the good adviser; advising my parents on how to solve their sex issues was a pill I couldn’t swallow. Awkward right? 

So, you see it’s always difficult for couples going through sex related issues to really open up to friends and family or to seek help. Everyone assumes you should sort yourselves out and no one wants to be put in that awkward position to give you advice on how to “gbensh”. Because of this, we all suffer in silence.

So, why do couples have issues with their sex life…

Before we start, let me say this. There is no couple that don’t have sex issues…none! Not even me. Sometimes even for me “Chairman” will just say he doesn’t want to do when I want to do; or I may be having some bothering issues and bills to pay that sex is the last thing on my mind; or mama may not even be looking sexy in my eyes that period. There was even a time I thought I was having erectile dysfunction and mama was asking “kilode”?

Before I got married, I was a kind of “huncle wayward”. I had my pretty share of relationships and as someone that loves to experiment especially with sex, I learnt some very interesting lessons. Even as a married man I keep learning every day. You can imagine it took me two years of constant experimenting to find out the best and quickest way to get my wife to orgasm. And as the days go by and as she continues bearing children; her body physiology changes, na so baba dey learn dey go!

So, let’s look at some of the reasons that couples have s#x related issues....

First and most importantly, lack of proper sex history of your partner…yea yea! Most couples don’t know the sexual history of their partners. This could be the missing link and why some couples will never get it right when it comes to sex. Imagine one “woke” babe with a considerable body count and with a robust sex history getting married to one “agbalagba” that just want to do “shuku shuku bam bam” and go to sleep! That will be a recipe a disaster of “world war” magnitude”, except Mr. “agbalagba” decides to change.

The point here is when you start dating and before getting married, you need know about the person’s “sex life”. It’s very key. You guys need to talk about sex…everything about sex! Your best position, your turn-ons and turn offs, how you want to be touched or sucked, the things you can and cannot do, whether you can “lick plate” or “hello to the microphone”. Such discussions are better after a good round of “gbensh” or “one-nose” like my friend will call it. Or you can communicate while doing the “do” by giving feedbacks. And guys be sharp about this…always observe her during “operations”, know the times and things you do when she screams, hold you tight and behaves like “ogbanje” during the act. And Ladies…taaaalk! 

Tell him harder Or Slower or however you want it!

By doing all these, you get more history about your partner and improve with time. My wife was a pretty timid girl from a religious home when we met. After receiving her first plate licking session. Her life never remained the same. So, talk with your partner before, during and after sex and figure out what they need.

Secondly, lack of proper understanding of times and seasons. Sex will not always be great no matter how good both of you are. No be every time una must reach cloud nine! As married couples learn to understand the moods of your partner and always understand when they are not giving their best during sex or when they are not even performing. Family problems, school fees, work stress and lack of money can kill sex drive faster than anything. So be an understanding partner. 

Some people are even married to impotent partners but they will be posting pictures of the perfect couples online. Na mama wey nor wise go fall victim, so be wise!

Thirdly, Carefreeness and lackluster attitude of some partner. Sex nor be food, sex nor be food… that’s how some people destroyed their sex life. You that used to be a waist-winder and ground-breaker, all of a sudden became an “edede” after marriage. Some women just forget that “how you get them is how you keep them”. Just remember you are going to wind it for 75years! Never lose guard. As for the men, nor let alcohol and overweight kill your mojo!

Fourthly, not seeing the big picture. Some partner believe that everything starts and ends with sex in marriage. It is not really true. You can have a terrible sex life and still have a wonderful marriage. It’s all about perception and what you can accept and live with. Always remember that every marriage has the fair share of “lack”. You will always have something you like in your marriage. For some, it is money; for others it could be in-law issues; or lack of children, or a faithful partner; or non-God Fearing partners and so on. Always learn to see the big picture about your marriage. 

Every marriage has its issues some and if it relates to sex. Learn to manage yours.

The list goes on ,We will conclude this story next week…



  1. That is how my husband usually report me to my mum if i refuse him sex whenever we're having issues. It's so embarrassing😳

    1. It must be an awkward discussion with your mum😳

    2. Som husband go to the length of calling their wife father that his daughter refuses him sex. Haaaa shame go won kill me.

      I was talking about sex in marriage with a friend yesterday. And he was like. If your husband want sex everyday u hv to open legs for him. I became worried! And was like so u dnt know??? My dear it is marriage weather it is convenient for u or not. U hv to! Only occasional cases if your partner is understanding. Hmm i just got worried thinking about dat word yesterday. Me i no too like am🤨. I hate when someone wake me in btw sleep😃 i cn bite or scream.

    3. Sexy Hipss its not that serious jor. It all depends on the partner and how you people communicate. Ultimately its good to marry someone who is understanding and like the writer of this post said its not all the time that sex would be bomb in marriage.

  2. Wow, i always look forward to this post and as usual, you didn't waste my time. Have learnt alot

  3. Why the white are busy having sleepless night researching for vaccine for Covid19

    Whilest we Africans making research on how to increase kin , how to tight kin , how to last long bla bla
    Ok oo contiue

    1. When you come up with the vaccine for covid19 please do let us know.

      T for tainks😑

    2. Instagram abi instablog is worse. Aphrodisiacs and all those pages. Sex everywhere. Everytime. Everyday. Kolakolagbo and so on😅

    3. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 King Jerry and Gifty well done oh, lol!!

  4. Very valid and educative points. Always looking forward to this post.

  5. Very interesting post as usual. Growing my dad use to settle quarrel for couples. My sister and I would hide and be eaves dropping, majority of the quarrel bothered on sex and it was always crazy to say the least. I miss that girl sha😀

  6. I most times feel dry down there and my hubby doesn't know how to get me wet enough before penetrating. Most times I just avoid sex with him cos it's not enjoyable (except we use KY jelly). I have talked and talked but he doesn't seem to be concerned.
    About orgasm, is it the same as squirting? I squirt but I don't think I orgasm. Is orgasm better than squirting?

    1. The fact that you don't know difference between orgasm and squirting means you don't even know or understand your body.

      If you of all people don't know and understand your body, how do you expect your husband to know it?

      Biko. Read up on how to enjoy sex. Then learn to pleasure yourself and make yourself orgasm.

      Find out exactly why gets you on...then once you know this...teach or tell hubby and your sex life will be better.

      Some of you women just expect men to know your body better than you know it yourself and at same time be doing all he can to provide for the family.

      Una wan kill person?

  7. Imagine someone sit my dad and brother down to tell them their daughter is not doing kini very well😏. I'll just run away from the family. It's not me that you will shame. 😎

  8. Wonderful!
    Interesting and insightful as always.

    Hubby when we got married newly na daily dosage ooh, but now, at times now, we can go 7 to 10 days without doing the do!!!!
    Though we do cuddle a lot.

    Marriage sef, na learning institution shaa, 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  9. Thank you sir...highly insightful


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