STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BETRAYED BY HUBBY AND BEST FRIEND
Good day Stella. I am betrayed and feeling down. It's going to be a long read. Please bear with me.
My so called husband and my friend of almost 3 decades have betrayed me and this leaves me broken.
We were classmates since primary school, secondary school and we live in same area in the city we both reside.
When you see my husband of over 10 years old, you will never think he can misbehave. So cool, calm and calculated but no, they will always shame you last last.
I recently found out my friend who is married with 3 kids and my husband have been having non-stop correspondence for over 2 years that I do not know. They both meet at restaurants, nude whatsapp video calls, hotels, exchange pictures and nudes, gym etc.
She makes all kinds of demands ranging from money, hair, school fees, carton of dried fish and what not. She even said my husband is her kind of man and would have loved if he was hers. I was shocked to my marrow.
She introduced her mum and brother to my husband. This is the family that everyone knows me and my family and I know them.
The mum and my friend has come to visit me at my house not knowing the girls mum is in the know of everything.
Explaining this is just to make you understand how close we are. Like her mum knows mine and so do the siblings.
My husband on the other hand was enjoying the whole thing and kept me in the dark. This life......
I got wind of this , I literally fainted. Hubby trying to justify himself said my friend was after him. Then why didn't you stay firm rather you were enjoying the whole thing.
I confronted my friend, she too denied the whole thing and said she only asked him money once and its my husband stalking and chasing her. She said she didn't know how to tell me. I told her, I need not be told but could have pledged to loyalty, friendship, sisterhood and bond. Would have slapped my husband and threatened to report to me if he had continued. I know these are all lies. I have been betrayed.
Guess what, she had already told her husband and few of her friends and two of our other childhood classmates that my husband is chasing her. So when the news broke, she was bold enough to mention their names, I contacted one and she said she was in the know. I had to explain how useless our friend is and the chats and nudes she was exchanging with my husband. She was only trying to save the future which has come.
My husband just decided to soil his reputation, trust and all. Expose me and my kids to all sorts of risks. What if my friend has decided to kill or harm me because of jealousy.
Now I just hate him with all of me. Like, I HATE him.
In one of the chats, she even said that finding out that I and my husband were in a hotel to celebrate our last anniversary makes her feel jealous.
My husband denied and swore with his life that there was no sex involved. Then what were you doing together. He confessed all they did together and showed me all their correspondence from years back and their dirty chats.
We have 4 kids together.
Numerous photos of them together.
Stella, I am praying to wake up from this dream. What do I do? I have a thriving business and I am so beautiful and hard working.
What did I do wrong?
How do I connect back to life.
Numerous photos of them together.
Stella, I am praying to wake up from this dream. What do I do? I have a thriving business and I am so beautiful and hard working.
What did I do wrong?
How do I connect back to life.
*Hmmmmm, reading this broke me!!
WTF your friend? And your hubby had to choose to chase her out of the women around? Don't mind her silly excuse, it takes two to tango and if she didn't encourage him, he would have stopped.. They are also probably lovers.
I dont want to tell you to leave your marriage cos you know best what to do... what i will tell you to do is to pick your life and face your kids and business....
No man is worth falling to the ground for...
Also insist you move out of that area if it is not your personal house..
Cut off all ties with this friend and her families, cut of ties with the friends who knew about this but kept quiet..... cut off all of them and go start all over again.
Poster,ur still calling her friend even now as u type. Hmmm,nothing wey beret no go see for mercy chinwo head,stelle is making sense,tho.
ReplyDeleteI will give you an advice that will work for you and put power in your hands:
DeleteBabe, you must forgive. You want to keep sane? Forgive. You have 4 kids? Forgive. You are beautiful and thriving in your business? Forgive. Allow him appologise and try what he can to "make it up" to you. Accept him and console yourself till you heal. When you have healed properly, Madam, that is when you can decide on what you want to do for your benefit and you will do it well. Now you are angry, weak, emotional and have high potential to take decision you might regret.
See, let me tell you. It's easy to want to jump on the option of divorce as e de hot but you will end up destroying your health, your children, your business, your sanity.
Nah...haba! This is the time to let yourself cry, be weak, be appologised to and heal. It might take you 1year or more to eventually heal but don't leave your marriage or react yet. You will make wiser decisions when your esteem has been repaired, your strength is built up, your sanity is sound, not angry and have had good time to weigh your options.
GOOD LUCK SIS AND MAY GOD GUIDE YOU..
You're on point Sapphire 💯
DeletePoster please follow Sapphire and Stella's advice. You're a 🌹.
DeleteWhich kind mumu chronicle be this so poster you were not smart enough to screen shot everything including the nudes and then forward it to her husband. That way you would have served her a very cold revenge.
DeleteHmmmm. Sapphire, thank you for ds advice. I caught my fiance with a woman during the week. I was broken and my blood pressure shoot up. I have had malaria for a week and ds happened while on meds. He didn't deny anything. He just said so? You know the worst part? We are in the same compound!!! I had no idea ds has been going on. He eventually confessed today that it started in December. I'm broken and also sick. I can't move on alone. I don't have friends in ds Lagos so I'm always alone with my brother. I'm beautiful and curvy but don't meet men cause I don't go out. Now that I have forgiven him, my mission is for my sanity and health. Once I'm able to recover and absolve it all, I am ready to go out now and meet people. I'm 35 but it's not the end of the world. Don't blame me for accepting him back. I just need it to be able to heal. Now I'm aware of who I'm dealing with.
DeleteOmoh
Umm anon, Saphire's advice is for married people oh. Fiance and boyfriend, you still bave a chance to weigh and look well and pray well before you enter.
Delete😂😂😂@18:57... You are very much correct... Sister please take note, that advice ain't for you
DeleteI know her advice isn't for me. I only stated my best option at healing fast. I forgave him ds afternoon but I know things can never remain the same again. Like I said, it's what I have to do to heal. When I'm done, I will do the dumping myself.
DeleteOmoh
Nice one Omoh
DeletePoster I can bet,it was your friend that seduced your hubby.And he being a weak and indisciplined man,fell for her.She hated and envied you from day 1 and wanted your own life because she wasn't fulfilled in hers.
DeleteThis hurts a lot,but you have to rise again.Yes! You will smile again.I don't blame women that harden their hearts when it comes to men and just face their businesses and kids.Poster please do same.
Thank God for how things played out.And she didn't go as far as doing diabolical things to you,setting you up to be raped,pouring acid to disfigure you,sending sickness e.t.c
Cut off from every mutual friends you both share that she told your hubby was chasing her and none even called your attention to it.They are not your friends please.
@18;05, sorry didn't read your last 2 sentences before commenting.. goodluck!
DeleteSo sorry to read this.
ReplyDeleteDear, for you to find peace of mind and soul, you have to forgive your husband. Note that I haven't written stay with him; that is a decision you have to make by yourself (with God). Do not deny him interaction with his kids. It is time to mourn; fast and pray and seek God for yourself to find direction going forward so that you do not make mistakes. Watch your husband if he is repentant overtime.
As for your friend, yes forgive her but please you do not need that friendship again. Read Romans 12.
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Time to mourn over what? Did someone die? Poster,face your business and children. Don't let anybody preach nonsense to you. Forgive him only when you feel it's time. Let the rage you feel inside you now push you to being a better version of yourself.
DeleteCut all those fake friends off and face your children.
You will come out fine.
@Fetosbabe
DeleteThe lady is already mourning; her loving husband needs to be resurrected by God to the love of her life that she knows.
Her tone in this mail says it all. Do not think that she is in a place of eating and drinking and marry making right now.
You are not to be blamed, you wrote based on what you think you know.
Personally, I will 100% let the friend’s husband know everything o.
ReplyDeleteI won’t leave my marriage but will take a break to clear my head.
Poster it’s well with you o
Pls, biko before anger will push you to end up like Mariam Sanda take a break first o. Are your people close by? Just take a very short break make breeze blow ur brain small. If u have receipts of their convos, pls send to her hubby including all the people she told it was ur hubby that was chasing her. Shebi Blessingceo was saying married women shouldn't be taking gifts from men. Married women WhatsApp came out enmass to justify why there isn't a reason why they can't take gifts. I am sure na from gift this nonsense start.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm women/men should know where and when to draw the lines when it comes to relationship with your friends and your husband/wife,let them call you over protective no wahala just draw the fucking line shikena.
ReplyDelete@poster if you leave your home she will be glad you did and that will give them time to do more than you can take so learn your mistake,fix your home as long as your hubby is willing to fix things
Anon, in fact "over protective" is now my 2nd name. Me I don't care ooo, I let them know when to draw the line. One particular one was always chatting my hubby literally everyday. During mid day she would chat to know if he has eaten or if he's stuck in traffic. Initially hubby didn't know how to tell her off but when it graduated to. "Awwww I love that pic u n ur wife took at the beach, when are u coming to take me also. Nobody told him to do the needful. Arrant rubbish!!!!
Delete@ Duchess, best decision o.
DeleteNa so e dey start. I'm like a hawk sef. I no send you. You're my friend and not his friend. You can even have his number. Wetin want cause am?
One woman squad. Holy spirit is my only friend, others are acquaintances.
DeleteStay strong woman, you will overcome.
ReplyDeleteThis is so so so sad... May the Almighty have mercy😭 🙏
DeleteThe main thing I learnt from this chronicle is "correspondence"
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your situation. I think you should follow madam Stella's advise.
Wow, that gender that betrayed Jesus will always disappoint you.. that's why I have no friends oh, we only chat and hangout, dey your dey, I dey my day..
ReplyDeleteIt's well just move on with your life, focus on your kids and get a sweet bobo to be knacking you steady.. this life no get duplicate!!
Lol @gender that betrayed Jesus😂
DeleteWhy is it that these men have no value for their families.
ReplyDeleteThis is so heartbreaking.
My dear do whatever that gives you peace of mind
This is very hurtful, I feel ur pains, u seem soft and easy going, leave the two adults to themselves and channel ur energy on your children. Pls cry well well ok, don't be ashamed to cry, cry as much as u want. It will help ur decision making. Also pray for wisdom of God. Ehugs darling
ReplyDeleteDear Poster.
ReplyDeleteIT is well with you. Thank God that you are presently in the know. At least now you know who is who.
I suggest you take some time off to cool off and get your sanity back. Of course you now know that that your supposed "friend" is actually your fiend. So do away with her totally.
Your husband is repentant and remorseful so that is a good sign.
Go for retreat and ask God to first heal the pain of the betrayal and restore your joy. Also ask God for directions on the next line of action in your marriage. We are 3rd party and can only advise, but the decision is yours. If you decide to stay, ensure that you get a heartfelt promise from your husband that such would not happen again
Be strong dear. It is well with you and your family in Jesus name.
Hahaha!!! You never see something. My neighbor is fucking his mother in law. Who can to help her daughter after a CS birth. It's been 5 years she still dey.
ReplyDeleteO ma wa lagbara bayii oooo.. Preeq will be the reason the world ends o!!!!! I can't can with all this things I read on here o
DeleteLike eh, if the trumpet sounds right now, fuck will take a lot of people to hell, shior!
DeleteNa swear
DeleteKilode
Aiye fe kpari sha
Repent Alll oooo
Jesus can come any minute ooo
He said he will come like a thief in the night!
Friend from put of hell, your friend is jealous of your marriage, what she has she is not satisfied with it. Longer throat is her problem, just do whatever makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteAny decision you take i concur to it, I cannot tell you what to do at this junction.
Forward all the nudes to her husband.
ReplyDeleteYes let everyone be mad together
DeleteNa ment
Good idea @15:46
DeleteStay strong poster, try and clear ur head. Thank God you are doing fine yourself. Try and redirect your energy and focus to things that will add value to your life and happiness. Most importantly this is the time to be one with your God so the devil don't bring silly ideas. You will be fine, with time healing will come. Don't forget to draw lessons from this.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you
It is well with you dear.
ReplyDeletePlease, follow Stella's advice.
Send all the evidence od their atrocities to her husband, with the evidence you have of both of them, she can't keep denying and saying your hubby was chasing her. Some men are shameless.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how after all the poster wrote about her married female enemy, her enemy's mother, her enemy's siblings who definitely include women and girls, and the poster/enemy mutual female friends, some bvs still see the matter from the pinhole of gender.
ReplyDeleteAll women around the poster were sinking her marriage. Yet some bvs are abusing all men not just the poster's husband.
Hmmm, some women just hate men Sha.
Thank God a bv told of how her husband acted right in face of temptation by a WOMAN who knew the is married.
Best friend jealousy is the deadliest of all emotions! There was this one guy I was telling my friend about but I suspected he was married and didn’t want to have anything to do with him but he was promising me foreign trips and claiming all the big connections... I was gisting my so called best friend and making fun of the guy only to find out she looked for this guy on Facebook and became friends with him, he wasn’t my friend on Facebook,she doesn’t know I know I just moved on after finding out she always thought i had it better than her. Since then I’m being too close in my female friendships
Delete@Stonefreeofadarice My Dear... The wife has turned into a slave for both of them. She sits at the back seat. She run errands. The other I over heard the mother shouting at her "why would you talk to your husband like that, don't you know he is the head of this family?"" You need to see the rubbish that a young man is doing with a 65year old woman. How can you beat your wife and lock her outside. Then your in-law and you are inside doing what??!!!
ReplyDeleteOne day I saw the wife by the junction looking lost. I just drove by. I wanted to give her a lift, but I don't trust myself. I will start asking questions that will stir emotions. So I just mind my business.
That woman can't be her mother.. Maybe step mother because I can't seem to digest nor understand this kind of witchcraft!!!
DeletepLEASE DO NOT MIND YOUR BUSINESS BIKO!!!!!!
DeleteWhat's the difference between one hole and another. For me hole Na hole. I can't be stressing myself over holes. Some men are just useless. Women? Some of you are agents of the devil. Why do some of you allow your friends to be too close to your husbands? Men, why not value what you have. You see the nakedness of your wife everyday, what are you doing with the nudes of women that can't hold a candle to your wife. Honestly some men have dead brains. Respect your wives and stop running around like idiots. If you are going to be cheating and deluding yourselves don't marry. Why hurt others with your stupidity
DeleteI support violence not physical violence but emotional violence. Dear poster,forward all her nudes to her husband in fact create a WhatsApp group add her,her sister and mother if you have her husband's number add him too then send EVERYTHING nudes and all to them.
ReplyDeletePicture (G wagon), see how we shouted here! 😂😂😂😂yes a WhatsApp group is the best
DeleteIf the poster sends all the nudes pictures,it will be disastrous for both families
DeleteSavage 🤣🤣🤣
DeletePoster abeg make sure you include the date and time she sent them to your husband shikena
Add all mutual friends, add the husband to the group as well.
DeleteWhatsApp name should be “See nude pictures of *** with my husband” so people don’t immediately leave the group when you add them.
Hahahaha @whatsapp group this is another good idea
DeleteBlack Slimzy did you say disastrous?
DeleteThe whole stuff is already disastrous.
poster,when you have done what @Picture(G wagon)wrote above, let us know how far,because that's the only thing I expect from you right now,I don't joke with my home oo,hmmmmmm,no peace for the wicked,as for me this is not just wickedness but evil,if you can go spiritual on this your friend it won't be bad.
DeleteAdd the husband, her church members and all your mutual friends, use the rage you’re feeling now, you will feel way better knowing people can see the truth instead of believing her lies
DeleteSending her nudes to her husband is one thing, sharing it with friends and church memebrs is another thing. I dont know about 9ja but revenge porn (sharing someone's nudes without their permission) is a crime in some countries.
DeleteOh sis🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteI hate him too.
Why some men throw caution to the winds because of a piece of arse eh, so shameful!
Involve your families. Shebi all of you are friends? Involve your families. Involve her husband. Show them all the evidences. Don't cover it o!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBut be ready for the consequences. The husband may react badly. You may have to move from your area. Your marriage may even scatter and your husband and her get together.
My opinion: don't hide anything. Expose them!
See if you dont circulate that evidence to her husband n family, then I will take it that you dont have d pluck to deal with anything. If her marriage will crash let it crash, be rest assured if it crashes, she cannot come near your home, unless your husband is a simp and a complete idiot. let's all be mad together. Nonsense
ReplyDeleteMen....I laugh whenever I hear women praising their husband's , claiming they are the best and that they feel blessed...I am almost 70 years old and I have seen many things and one thing is men will disgrace you. Always. In one way or another. It's just a matter of time.
ReplyDeleteThis post is about a sexually wayward husband.
DeleteSo I assume your comment relates to and is limited to husband disgracing wives on sexual conduct.
Well I respect your age. But your statement is not correct.
If you are a woman, it may interest you to know that there are husbands who are truly entitled to their wives praises on their sexual chastity.
If you are a man, your comments are the type wayward men and women use in justifying their sexual misconduct - married men hide behind the finger of "all men do it". Their married and unmarried female accomplices say "all men cheat, if I do not cheat with him and get the benefit, another woman will do it and gain the benefit"
Please not all men cheat in marriage. Off course, a man who does not cheat may, otherwise be a bad husband. Do not set alight marriages in which wives feel fulfilled and believe their husband are good to them.
No vex, o. I respect your age, but we learn by the day.
Women, wake up! Your problem is not your friend but your husband because he is the one you made vows with and should be the one that has your back rather than being the one to embarrass you to the world by dating your friend. Whether you stay a go should be a function of how much he grovels and apologizes: if he is racked with guilt and honestly wants to make amends, forgive him, however, if he is belligerent and cares naught about what you are going through... you decide. Women have got to understand that marriage is not do or die, especially marriage to a person who disrespects you. Marriage is framed in this society as something that is beneficial to the women, however, the truth is that marriage serves the men because he gets to eat his cake and have it too while looking well kept while the woman (if in a bad relationship) looks unkempt. I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make and I pray you come out on top, stay blessed sis.
ReplyDeleteYou pple should stop this nonsense of your problem is not the lady but husband bla bla. They're both the problem plss. Whatever happened to loyalty? This how the stupid saying will keep encouraging girls/women to keep sleeping with people's husband's.
DeleteOf course the husband is the problem, because if it wasn’t her friend then it would be someone else, a philanderer is a philanderer. I bet you he approached the friend and promised her all sorts, let us not act as if we don’t know that some men have the propensity to coerce women into all sorts. Sadly, women have been conditioned in this society to hate each other meanwhile the bringer of pain is your husband or partner. Women, learn to stick together and stop degrading one another. Even when a woman decides to cheat, it is because she is completely unhappy in her home or is not being provided for financially by her partner, however, a man will cheat even when his home is happy. Let us not act like we don’t know some men’s true nature: some of you have even been abused by them but you come on here and say “fear women”.
DeleteWell reminds me of when I went to Nigeria for my dads funeral. My then best friend was sleeping with my ex partner. When I came back he actually confessed however, I couldn’t deal with the betrayal. I decided to end it and move on
ReplyDeleteNow I’m married, I can’t trust any friends or man. As an attorney I’m so smart that all my properties are in my kids name under a blind trust. My husband doesn’t even know what I have outside of my job as an attorney.
Women wake up and be smart, men will be always evil white or black. Btw, my ex was white.
Sis, he will do it again. He probably has done it before but you didn't catch him.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't a mistake or a lapse in judgement, it is a lifestyle for him. That's why he would involve himself in meeting her mother and her siblings.
So decide whether you can live with it or not and make your decision from that
Ungrateful goats everywhere
ReplyDelete