Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicles Of A Married Man - 18

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Sunday, March 28, 2021

Chronicles Of A Married Man - 18

''How can women give some much of their lives trying to make us happy and build a happy home and yet many of us still find a way to make them sad? Just how…?''










It was 4:30am and my wife was already awake. I was woken up by the noise of her activities around the house. She had to prepare the children for school. She slept a little after 11pm the previous night.

This had been her routine for the last two school terms and looking at her that morning, I was amazed. To imagine that this was my timid wife less than ten years ago was something out of this world. Indeed, motherhood had changed her!


She had gotten the grit that even the more 12years in the oil and gas offshore environment has not given me. She had become a woman of steel. 

She follows this rigorous routine of managing the home 24/7, all year round and still has to manage her career. Some days, she has to take four tablets of paracetamol to douse her raging headaches. Thinking about it that morning gave me a sense of deep guilt and a need to make her happy.


How can women give some much of their lives trying to make us happy and build a happy home and yet many of us still find a way to make them sad? Just how…?


This reminded me about how my mum spent most of her productive life trying to run her restaurant business to take care of the family; that she overworked herself into getting hernia. She still feels the effect of such days of hard labour till this very day. No matter what I do for her, I can’t repay her back.


Later that day while we were talking, I asked her, “don’t you think you need help?”. Her younger brother, who was living with us before now, got a job and had to relocate. Her reply was “nope, when I need help, I will tell you”. I am wondering when that will be. However, I am already making arrangements. I want to make things easier for her.

This leads me to the question I want to ask today. How much can a woman really give for your marriage? Just how much? Even in the midst of the cheating scandals, broken homes and other social vices rampant these days about marriage. We still have women giving their 101% just to make sure that their marriages and even children turn out fine.



So, this week, one of the trending topics was about Derrick Jaxn’s cheating scandal. The YouTube celebrity counselor has been collecting extra “Kondo” outside. Of course, that sparked an avalanche of media rage…and the gender war continued. Baba ownED up to his mess with full chest and thank God his wife stood by him. God nor go shame us!


I have seen women who had nervous breakdown, PTSD, physical and mental abuse, failed health, damaged self-esteem, lost career and some even lost their lives just to see that their marriages work out. Yet we still ask them for more. Seeing my once beautiful wife looking not so “sharp” like she used to be, and having to make her suspend and pause her career during the spells of pregnancy and childbirth; are testament of how much she has given.

So, what can we as men give in return? I would say, a large dose of love and happiness is a good starting point. Beyond providing for her and “giving” to her as it is, doing those things that make her happy should be our everyday priority.

If you are asking, “what about the man, what about his sacrifices, doesn’t he deserve such too?”. Because for una now, everything na gender war these days!
(let’s take it easy on the gender war. We can all make our points without having to insult each other. Opinions are free, and every one is entitled to one):


 My reply will as always be, “love begets love” if you treat her right, she will pay back in kind. Even dogs as animals will treat you right when you care for them, how much more a human being.

I believe we as men, can do better. Even in this age and time where the need for more woman empowerment is being championed; supporting our wives and making their lives more comfortable and better should be the least we can do. Although we have some devil’s apprentice amongst them. That’s a story for another day. For today, lets celebrate them and shine the light on their many sacrifices and the nonsenses they have to put up with just to build a happy home.

Nuff said…


Lastly, 'fellowship' eventually held last week as the last time was in December. All men had travelled to go hustle and we haven’t been meeting. You can imagine what happens in the multitude of alcohols and many “chopables”. Story must dey. So, next week we will be talking about Mr. X and his nagging wife.

  

Ciao!

65 comments:

  1. Hey God, please don’t let me ever meet an apprentice of the devil in Jesus Name Amen!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen

      Biko what happen, gist pls

      Delete
    2. You are a patriarchal man

      Miss me with your *TRY* @ damage control. Even at that the spirit still pushed you to show yourself with that yeye Stan for that preacher's wife suffering Stockholm syndrome

      Change your ways sir

      Delete
    3. Please get her help
      What do you mean she says she doesn't need it.
      My hubby will not even ask
      Sleeping by 11 and waking up by 4am?
      Maka gini kwanu
      Get her a help abeg...

      So you are taking notice and not doing anything about it.
      Don't only show love, love is sacrifice.

      Why don't you wake up by 4am one day and do what she does.
      Wo
      She's working so she's definitely contributing in that home, contribute by helping her out.kolide.

      Four paracetamol a day...okay o

      Delete
    4. She doesn't need o, before she will bring a female and that one will turn another story when hubby impregnated her...let her continue her Proverbs 31 pantomime. It is well.

      Delete
  2. Nice write-up.
    Exactly what I discussed with my husband last night after he pissed me off. Thank God he has apologised and made us breakfast this morning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank God for your husband

      Delete
    2. What is yinmu? Did you marry an irredeemable arsehole?

      Delete
    3. She don come. Class captain ndi highway

      Delete
    4. Anon 14:20... Yinmu as per what?
      You are so bitter, pls take some honey!
      I'm in a good mood, so I won't bother to describe you with some adjectives that you deserve.

      Delete
    5. Men should always treat their wives better. Not easy to leave her with kids and travel.

      Delete
  3. I hope the 'chop slap' activist is reading this.

    The woman body shamer of ' I saw one of my classmates abi ex-girlfriend a few days ago and she had put on so much weight and looked horrible and yen yen yen. If this is who you really are IRL, I PITY the woman you'll end up with. She go see pepper. You are looking for a 'Ronalda' whom you'll serve breakfast in bed and you are a what? FFK?
    As for your second, up and coming Masculinist, learn your apprentice work wella from your master, when you are certified free to stand on your own, SDK family will open 'market' for you. *tongue click*

    Happy Sunday to better people o jare. πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nice read and you're one man too many

    I appreciate men who know the VALUE of women, such men are rear

    πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ may your home continually stand strong

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nice. You are a good man

    ReplyDelete
  6. To every woman out there doing and giving her all and everything to make her home and marriage work, thank you!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To guys too,..you people should also give your all to make her life easier. Thank you!!!

      Delete
  7. Them done tackle Oga married man last week, he decided to turn around and celebrate women today make their head cool down small. Lmao.

    That's why I respect Dante nothing and nobody can make him change his stand. Bold shameless patriarchal Bloody male chauvinist, He is who He is and that's that.

    Anyways, Like married man said no be everything be gender war. Make we dey try reason other people's point of view without always attacking and taking issues personally

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Imagine the pitiful damage control.

      Delete
    2. Lmaooo🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

      Delete
    3. I am glad others saw this too

      Delete
    4. Real damage control.
      After how many years, na now you remember say she need epp.
      Yeye dey smell

      Delete
    5. Dante is single. Give him 8 more years, he will start changing mouth.
      FFK come and read this.

      Delete
  8. You were woken up by the noise of her activities but did you offer to help her out or did you just go right back to sleep?
    You even went further to ask if she doesn’t think she needs help when you are right there present. πŸ˜’πŸ˜’
    And don’t get me started with her binging on paracetamol like it’s candy.

    This is not the adulation that you think it is, Mr Married Man. Tueh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tire oh.
      Your wife woke up by 4.30 even though she slept by 11 and you let her work alone? You also mentioned that that has been her routine for about 2 weeks.
      I really tire for una.

      Delete
    2. thought i was the weird one here, not 2 weeks but 2 school terms. Hope you're not a womanizer this one she's scared of getting help? Please assìst her in the house pending when you guys get help.

      Delete
    3. Didn't he ask her if she needed help and she said no? He said he would get one for her anyway! We women should try and get paid helps if we/hubby can afford it. What's with overworking herself and chewing paracetamol to calm the pain? Does she know the side effects of paracetamol? Over dosage for that matter? If she likes, let her not learn to delegate
      Her hubby works offshore and comes home to rest. Offshore jobs are very tasking and physically/mentally sapping. We sha must blame the man sha! Tudeh!

      Delete
    4. I usually sleep late say 11.30 12 everyday, wake 4am. Hubby would want to help me,but he knows i don't like anyone in my space by that time. Simple because i get a lot done before the house wakes. That's my alone time,and i hate sharing it. So maybe posters wife is like me.

      Delete
    5. 14:23 Yea, she’s probably the type that want to appear strong and want to do everything but he can clearly see that she is struggling so why ask? He shoulda gotten help like yesterday so spare me!

      Come home to rest doesn’t mean not lifting a finger to ease her pain especially when he’s right there seeing her struggle. Kmt

      Delete
    6. I was waiting for someone who will speak my mind

      Delete
    7. My exact thought. Some of this men think it's all about material things. The little things without monetary attachment, matters more. I tell you, if he had joined up with the wife and deal with those morning duties he outlined, the wife would never forget the memory of that.

      This is more like what my cousin would term, benevolent patriarchy - slightly more reasonable.

      Oga, whenever you are at home and not offshore. Dig your heels like you do at your work place or site, and help her out at home - both mornings and evenings.
      I think marriages would become better over time, if we as ladies can start insisting on a partnership. Let's start having that discussions in our relationships, before saying yes.

      Delete
    8. God bless you

      Delete
    9. Taking pain killers everyday means she is struggling. She clearly needs help, it doesn't have to be a live in arrangement.
      Or is it still she slumps one day, God forbid, due to stress you will realise she is human??

      Delete
    10. There's no satisfying these women sha! Must you look for something to complain about? Dude has said he will get her help and you're here ranting. Do you know if he's a mechanical engineer in the rig? Do you know the amount of risk and heavy lifting that entails that even for a week or 2 onshore man still dey sleep dey deal with aches and pains. You all should be considerate please.

      Delete
    11. I read that with my mouth open, you knew she slept at 11pm, you didnt help at 4 30am? You were sleeping? Where is the love? This sums up marriage, it is only beneficial to men, and we have women enabling such selfish behaviour, giving her paracetamol? Wow, just wow

      Delete
    12. Exactly what i wrote.
      Did he offer to help.
      God thank you o

      They say you give your hardest battles to your strongest soldiers...🀣

      Delete
  9. Nothing beats having a partner that is considerate,has conscience, understanding and human sympathy.
    Before they hurt you,they will think twice.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The part about her taking up to four tabs of paracetamol is troubling. Please and Please, she needs to stop that, so she doesn’t suffer for it later. Couldn’t shake that off, will probably be back to comment on the rest of your write up.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Derrick jaxn is not an example you should use. He's a manipulative human and that wife you saw, does she look like someone that is normal, she's emotionally drained. Women do a lot and kudos to every woman out there

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very manipulative! You cheated and still dragged your wife to an apology vidoe. SMH

      Delete
    2. May be his wife's hands are not clean too.

      Good for them

      Delete
    3. With that hurt Iya Mukaila bonnet she wore in a video.
      Only God knows what she is going through...you women with cheating husbands una no dey fear disease????

      Delete
  12. Modupe. 8 years and counting have never ever had to wake up to take care of kids and hubby for anything. I have a nanny and house help attending to my every need. I have all the time to focus on my career and business. In school my kids each have teachers that take them privately. Every Saturday I bond with them via vocational studies like music, swimming, tennis etc. We are not rich. We are average and comfortable. Early on in my marriage my husband new I was the lazy type with house work and just arranged for a nanny and house help while I was pregnant with my first. I have another guy that comes around for laundry. This way I have all the time in the world to focus on myself, my career, my business and just bond with my 2 kids and hubby. If not na die oh. My parents till today see my husband as a mini God because of how he takes care of me and the kids. He would rather not have than see us need 1 thing. I assist financially though with the little I have. So everyone is happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fortunate you. May you and your family continue to experience joy in your marriage

      Delete
    2. God bless your home. What do women really want? Why suffer when your husband can afford a helper(nanny). What point do you want to prove?. If God has blessed you or your hubby. Get a help. I know nanny negative stories plenty but there are good once. The nanny must not leave with you. You are even helping someone by employing them. My people use to say.. No one brags with suffering. Someone l know learnt the hard way. She fall in her kitchen at night while cooking. She was carried from one hospital to another. She was on oxygen for two weeks. Could not recognise anyone even her children and husband but God gave her another chance to live. She has 2 nannies at home now and employed extra hands in her shop. All she does now is supervise. She has more time for herself, children and husband. She glows. God no go shame us.

      Delete
    3. Zaran have you been reading from this man at all?

      Do you know he's a cheat?

      The wife is afraid of having help let him not go and fuck her

      Delete
  13. You are not a decent man at all...
    Your wife pops 4 tablets of P/Mol, running herself out doing chores while you sit mentally calculating her yards of sufferhead /wife material. It must be a torture living with a pretentious low key sadist like you.

    See how you exposed yourself cheaply with the Derrick Jaxn debacle.... God no go shame una abi. Apostle Suleiman and Derrick have shown you guys how to come out smelling roses when you cheat by pushing your wives to bear your shame.

    Kindly pack one corner with your patronising praises and amateur demon lowlife mindset. You remind me of twitter faux male 'feminists' who posture like they truly care about women, but are broken boys setting traps for a victim to capture and deal with for life. You irritate, go away!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Look who we have here ✋πŸ–️✋

      Delete
    2. I didn't like the paracetamol bit as well. The lady is overworked and stressed. She needs help.

      Delete
    3. When i read she pops four paracetamol at once and on a regular, i weak!

      Delete
    4. I can see through his bull shit, disguising as someone who "admires his wife" whereas he is pretending to be blind to her suffering and stress.

      Delete
    5. Very Wicked chauvinist.

      I spent sometime with my sister and her family last holidays. Oh my God, I've not recovered from the trauma. You need to see her working round the clock. I mean it. She hardly had 1 hour to her self. From cleaning to washing to cooking to business...oh God. She woks and she has a side hustle to balance the house financially. She even wakes up at night when NEPA brings the light to use the washing machine. I was very sick during that period but even in my sickness, I said I must give her a hand. Tried to help her wash, even the husband's clothes dey dia. Ah I was traumatized. I just told her she needs to take it easy, if she dies today, I don't have any other sister o.
      Guess what? Her husband just wakes up, sit down and press phone then goes back to sleep.

      Men, let's remember there's humanity first before chauvinism. If you can sit down and watch your fellow human let alone your partner go through all that in the name of 'I am the man'. Honestly, you lack empathy.

      Some people will not come and tick attendance here.

      Delete
    6. Empress CHO's faeces must be smelling like rose. All dis in order to sound woke.

      Delete
  14. God bless you Anon 15.15, a man does not have to assist with house chores if he can afford to pay people to do those chores for the family...nannies,cleaner, laundryman, driver etc. A woman who works and can afford such should indulge herself too. What's with working yourself to the bone? To prove what point?
    I've been married for 27yrs( to an oil worker) and realize most women start off like this during dating to prove they are wife materials. I met women who started their marriages this way too. Some actually believe seeking help shows you are less of a woman. With an oil worker husband, you will most likely live in a big house(imagine the effort it takes to maintain such a house) add young kids to the equation and imagine the stress!!!
    Oga, pls get her domestic help. Automate the gates, get washer/ dryer, dishwasher etc. Help her if she doesn't want to help herself before she slumps one day or develops kidney/liver disease as a result of paracetamol abuse

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am happy you are insisting on getting her help before you start working for your nearby hospital. Please, this time, let it be a professional in addition to a relative of hers so that she can fully delegate without thinking of what family will say. That paracetamol abuse has got to stop. The moment she takes two tablets and the ache doesn't go away, please mandate immediate bed rest. Don't work yourself to death on the rig either. What's the use of working so hard to pay for bitter drugs and invasive procedures? Try and make out time as a family to rest. Not even romance and all,just rest first.

    I don't know the man you mentioned but letting your woman share your shame to keep subscribers is not my idea of "God no go shame us".

    God keep and bless your home.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I have given a lot to my family this year, building in my hubby's village, had an IVF, trusting God that it will grow, I actually tested positive but I feel like nothing is growing and this man I married won't let me rest. Despite the sick off my office gave me. My problem is the man I married. I am building for you in the village and you still want me to wait on you hand and foot!!! My first child can't wait to have a sibling. What do some men actually want from a woman.
    Mentally am just waiting because honestly if he makes me loose this baby, he'd know that hell hath no fury....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You will not lose your baby in Jesus Name. Amen

      Pls feign morning sickness all day everyday. Cough and spit continuously whenever he’s around you, get a nurse to come around regularly to come check on you and let her tell him specifically that you need rest and nurture.

      When these men play checkers, play chess. πŸ’…πŸΌ

      Delete
    2. You have no business building for your husband anywhere. When you start playing the role of a man, don't complain when he starts acting like he is not a man.

      This is the problem women have- taking paracetamol for someone else's headache, trying to qualify for the ring and certificate you already have. Of course, you are both pretending to in-laws that he is the one financing the project but when he starts lying to and stealing from you, you'll also be pretending to wonder when it all started.

      If he cannot afford to build the house, it is not yet time for him to own a house in the village. What makes you think he won't pass on other husband duties to you while he looks for someone that will actually be a wife and not an assistant husband? A man who subjects you to such stress to fulfill his own selfish interest without even considering the life in you ( because I believe that your joy will be full) is the one you want to kill yourself for? You have the wisdom to know you are already not with your best friend, why kill yourself for the innocent child you already have, whose world you have become?

      Keep that money in stocks and bonds. The one you have done so far is enough- it is not a property that will appreciate but an ego trip for a wicked man. You are not building your home here sister. You are spending good money to wreck it. The man may still be redeemable but this fake life you are financing for him may make his case permanent.

      Delete
  17. I don't have stamina for physical chores just determination. All my life, I've not cooked much though I know how to. I love to clean and arrange things but employ people to do it.

    Women please, if you cannot afford a chef or live-in help, please contract people to cook and clean for you when you need them. πŸ’ž

    ReplyDelete
  18. This your chronicle is becoming dry Biko

    ReplyDelete
  19. Chronicle poster your message was well received!! Good to know you appreciate your wife's efforts. Many dont. My suggestion is get her a help, and at night rather than see her keep late, you can also engage her in discussions. If she sees you are up waiting for her, she would feel a sense of care and support. I trust you also help the little way you can. It all depends on the dynamics in your home. Nobody knows it better than you two.

    Please dont be dissuaded by the comments. I love the view you bring to marriage. Its refreshing. Most times men dont express themselves, all in the name of Ego. So seeing you bring down those walls, is very refreshing.

    Love and light

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of StellaDimokoKorkus.com

Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact Stelladimokokorkus.com and corrections will be made..

If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact StellaDimokoKorkus.com Via

Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com
Mobile Phone +4915210724141