Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Thursday, April 01, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm.....










STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
UNGRATEFUL  SPOUSE



Dear Stella,

I got married 3 years ago to man whom I thought was mature and responsible. Please excuse the long write up.


I was based abroad while he was based in Nigeria. he had a good paying federal job. I contributed equally to the white wedding expenses, I forfeited my traditional marriage ceremony so as to not overstretch his budget. He is from a poor home but I didnt mind , I married for love and his people love me too. We just did introduction, which my father paid for and a traditional ceremony in my absence and in my village for his people to present the items on the list. 


My dad paid for the food and drinks. My father just took 1500 naira from my hubby as bride price because he understood as a young man it is not easy to prepare for marriage and just asked that he took care of me.

Almost 2 years ago My husband who is a Doctor then decided to resign from his job and join me abroad which he now feels is biggest sacrifice he has done for me.

To support him I offered to pay for his masters which I'm still doing. I pay mortgage and all the household expenses , I paid for his green card and everything.

My friends husband who has a very good relationship with my parents gave my hubby a part time job just for him to at least gain his respect as a a man at home.

He now earns equivalent of 200k in naira a month. sometimes his oga has no work for him to do but still pays him that 200k every month out of the goodness of his heart. Till today my husband has not even bought wine or a card to appreciate the man, even my own parents who have been trying to help my husband get a job once he completes his masters has never come to show gratitude . 


He feels my parents are rich so he does not not need to give them anything.


In my own case I have beg and remind my husband every month to at least give me small money for our daughters upkeep. from that 200k he now gives 75 k. which is our daughters upkeep and electricity BILL. all other expenses like his school fees mortgage , our feeding and his toiletries, babies clothes , the nanny, he gladly leaves for me.


Sometimes im so broke I borrow from my brothers for us to survive. for one day he has never offered to add extra money to assist with food or his school fees. The rest of his money he sends to Nigeria. apparently its to sort out his family problems that his parents are poor yet he has 3 other elder siblings.


Even before he relocated abroad he never used to send me money even for antenatal.


I recently saw over 400k naira in his Nigerian account, he lied and said it an old balance statement. He sees nothing wrong with his behavior that his 75k is more than enough contribution from his side. He said he carries the baby when I'm busy cooking or bathing and sometimes washes our eating plate, what more do I want. He says I'm insensitive, that his poor parents also need money and I'm not grateful that he left his good 240k per month federal job for me.


 Sometimes my husband will just enter the grocery shop and buy biscuit and coke for himself yet no loaf of bread at home.


He now wants to return back to Nigeria and wants my dad to help him get his old job back . Yet he does not even call my parents to check on them. My dad was very sick in the hospital he didnt even call him but now he wants my dads help. for my sake my dad agreed to assist him get his former back job but that he is disappointed in my husband and he has seen how ungrateful he is.


Apparently what he thought his life would be abroad is not what he expected. That the standard of living is too expensive abroad. I dont know if he expected that a job will just be dished out to him on a platter of gold. I advised that he complete his masters first then more job opportunities would come.


 My siblings through their connections tried to get him another job, he said he cant do masters and be working full time( just imagine)


His former federal job gave him free food , free transport and free accommodation. However his base was deep inside a rural area. So if i had relocated , I would have to stay in Lagos or Abuja. He was not used to paying bills like it is here abroad. He is not willing to look for any other job here abroad or in Nigeria incase his former job does not take him back. He is comfortable with the fact that I can still manage to be the breadwinner.


When we had the talk about who would relocate, he had no concrete plan in place all he said was that that he might rent a place for us in Lagos , furnish the apartment but I must refund him for furnishing the apartment.


He said as his wife I must contribute money to renovate his parents house in the village because my people still need to know his place as in-laws.


I refused, after all the house will later go to his elder brother and its not my responsibility to do that.


I feel hurt because he is not playing the role of a supportive and responsible husband yet he expects me to give him sex whenever he demands. I hate being the one having to make decisions for the family. Out of bitterness and anger I have refused to sleep with him.


He now had the guts to make attempts on my house girl which I later forgave, now he is having sex chats with his exes in Nigeria , one is married others single. complaining to them I am starving him. He promised one girl that when he returns to Nigeria he will see her every weekend ( and yes I went through his phone|). I have not confronted him on the sex chats but I know definitely when he returns he sleep around as he pleases.


I decided to fulfil my promise and complete paying his masters but after that I will no longer support him financially because he has been given so many opportunities to build a life for himself here abroad. I Wanted another baby but judging by his behavior I personally cant afford another child. I dont know whether to confront him or just let him return to Nigeria and report all this to his parents.




*Reading this drained me. Please do not confront and do not report him to anyone. Just let him leave as quietly as he came and then you can start planning from there

133 comments:

  1. Evil marriage. Wey awon God when ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He doesn't love you

      Please let him go back.

      He thinks you are scared of losing him. Show him you are not!

      I would have said 75k out of 200k contribution since he sends home is not so bad.

      But other complaints shows he is truly ungrateful

      Please let him go!

      Delete
    2. Some of the men we have in this generation eeeh. Lazy lazy men.

      Delete
    3. Hmmmm, she is even lucky. If you see what my sister has to go through marrying and help a yahoo boy with his family yo come abroad you will cry and pity her. The worst part is he is a narcissist with his family only his father is not but very angry man. He even dupe my family of so much money and say there is nothing we can do to him. He make sure to narrate my siter and family allover germany. Anyway we thank God he didnt succeed in killing my sister as that was his plan so he can inherit her house abroad and Nigeria and other properties. He is even a cultists. My sister pay all the bill 100percent even when he was force to work story many. Thank the divorce is in progress. He never wanted the divorce oooo. My sister suffer sha from the hand of the narcissist and his family. He still make sure to be going spiritual means but God is always ahead of him and his family and his gang of wicked people.

      Why am i writing all these ladies stop going to Nigeria to marry, they feel they are helping you instead of the other way round and the worst part is stop marrying a narcissist it can make one commit suicide. Pleas check the trait of narcissist to see if your men or women have it oooo before settling down it very important Γ²oooooooooooooo.
      My sister it is well.


      Please forgive my grammar as I nor be oyinbo pikin.

      Delete
    4. Stop helping Nigerian men!

      If you must help let the terms and conditions be clear!

      This man feels trapped under your family's wing. Naija men don't like such trappings. It deflates their ego.

      Did you beg him to marry you?

      Is he even proud of you?

      You see him as ungrateful, he sees you and your family as overbearing!

      The problem is he wields more power in that relationship because you seem to love and want him more.

      Just leave him to go back to Naija or string him along and get you another man and kick him off!

      Some men are scum

      Delete
    5. Dear singles, it's easier to discuss your finances b4 marriage. That time that both of you are so much in love and excited about eachother is the time to draft how to manage your incomes, investment, savings, bills and so on. That was how it worked for me and we have not had any hiccup in that department for 7years. That "my husband will take care of our finances" mentality does not work anymore in this generation.

      Poster, trust me it's not late. I am optimistic because you both communicate which is key, just that you don't always agree but you can turn it around. Hear me; take time off your tiredness and anger and plan a week-long period of fun, no complains, lots of sex and loving, this will help prepare the ground for a fruitful discussion. Then pick up pen and paper and you both should rob minds and work out the issue in black and white.The initial mindset should be "there is no such thing as individual money. It's our money", then plan. His wanting to care for his family is very valid, it's your family too. I would not support relocating back to Nigeria but you can only make him see that by penning out the advantages and disadvantages of relocation vs staying abroad. Add both incomes and suggest what proportion should be saved monthly. 65% works for me so each person will have something left to play with.
      Girl, denying him sex will not help issues and I don't think your husband belong to the collection of terrible husbands we read about. Your marriage is very redeemable, just let go of the anger and take charge. Teach him appreciation and gratitude by example. Poor people naturally have that entitled mindset but remind him he is nolonger in that class. Renew your optimism about marriage and raise his hopes that tomorrow holds big promises.

      If you continue the way you are going, you will worsen things and breakdown. Ignore comments telling you your marriage is dead on arrival and suggesting divorce. The only work your marriage needs is optimism. Be patient and teach him.

      Delete
    6. Teach him indeed.

      Delete
    7. 75,000Naira as in 150$?
      I’m sorry he’s a b**tard. Shebi he has green card? Why can’t he goan find homecare job? At least he’ll make like $1500- $2000 working 40hours a week! Or drive for Uber or Doordash
      Oh I know, he’s a doctor and too big for menial jobs.

      I really hope that when he starts making good money, you and your child will eat out of it. He’s one of those people that one should not help else they take it for granted

      Delete
    8. Ah wait oh! I saw 75,000 (a.k.a $150) and rushed to comment, I didn’t know there was worse.

      My sister, your marriage is dead on arrival I’m sorry. So u pay like $20,000 or more for his masters and what you get is a lazy thing with no backbone. Allow him go back to his 240k job. Meanwhile halt/cancel his green card process, that’s if he hasn’t got the permanent one. The guy has no direction for his life.

      I’m sorry Sis but you were used. The earlier you get out of this, the better. It’s just a pity it had to progress to marriage for his character to be revealed

      Delete
    9. I am sorry to disagree...you cannot teach an old dog new tricks.
      My own friend even paid a counselor

      The main problem with people like these are they do not even admit they have any faults.

      How do you make someone see the light when they can see in the dark?

      This man is comparing 200k abroad to 200k in a rural place in Nigeria.

      This woman doesn't even see her money as just hers or else she won't even be paying for his master's.

      What kind of man decides to leave his master's when it's an avenue to get a better job biko.

      I have been married for 8years now and the truth is that never patch anything that doesnt want to be fixed.
      You will live in sadness and always try to be enough for another person.
      This posters husband doesn't love her and that's the honest truth.

      Delete
    10. Kindly let him go. He used you to try and get a better life that only existed in his mind but he has seen that living abroad isn’t easy hence the reason why he wants to leave. Please let him go. Divorce his lazy backside. Stop paying for any damn thing. Are you that desperate for a man in your life? Please let him go. And if he mistakenly wants to come back, block him off. Don’t allow this man back into your life else you will end up incurring more debt for his entire family. They only loved you cause of what they will get from you. Don’t let that confuse you.

      PLEASE LET HIM GO!
      DIVORCE HIS ARSE FOR YPUR SANITY SAKE. #bunkum

      Delete
    11. They form miss independent and start crying wolf after kids start arriving. What do you expect when you think it's ok to be in a relationship with a man that does nothing but sleep with you? He doesn't need to be a millionaire to see fresh Akara he knows you would enjoy and buy it for you. Those little things say a lot about how important you are to a man. For those that act like it's alright for a man not to give them pin because they have their own money, don't cry after enabling him to think of nothing but himself.

      Delete
  2. I'm so sorry you're going through all of these but I'm afraid to say that this man doesn't love you. Men are built to be providers, it comes naturally in them.
    Him comfortably not taking responsibilities says a lot about his intentions, they were never true.

    I also understand that some people are less ambitious than others. Let him return to Nigeria, be strong. In the end you'll be fine. Take care of yourself and your baby.
    This is why women are advised to never marry below their financial cadre. It almost never turns out well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a lie that men are built naturally like this. A lot of them (black men especially) always get support from their wives who are expected to do it privately.

      Delete
    2. The guy doesn't love you, and he will leave you and marry another, unless he meets Jesus.

      Stop footing his bills and he should use his savings buy a return ticket. Your dad had done enough for him and he has to stop.

      Don't confront him and focus on Jesus and your daughter.

      Delete
    3. Some men these days are so immature.
      They want to be treated like kings yet act like children.

      Your husband wasn't raised right, he has probably had his family or girls in his life give him all his ever needed or listen to his tantrums.

      I have an ex who is just the same, who complained about helping his wife abroad to change his babies diaper and I reminded him that that baby was his as well.

      My friend is actually in the same situation as her hubby who she was providing for before her salary was slashed has now asked for a divorce because she can't afford to contribute anymore.

      I don't know who raised such men but it's becoming too common these days.

      The truth is that you actually started an aided his silly behavior same way his family did so he is expecting you to keep up the superman duties.

      Such men do not love you because love is actually sacrifice, my husband can mould blocks if that will help him provide for his family.

      Men like these are lazy and entitled but the truth is that you also contributed.

      I think you need to give him some space, do not have anymore kids, the truth is that this marriage may end but like my friends' all I wish you is peace and grace to handle whatever heart break you may have to go through.

      Only God can truly change him, but he even has to accept his faults.

      Delete
  3. You dragged this man out of his comfort zone. He was loving a comfortable, easy going life in Nigeria.
    I can tell you he will eventually leave you.
    Not everybody's destiny is in America.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She'll be way better off without that leech.

      Delete
  4. My dear, please do relocate to Nigeria with this man. You will regret it. Let him g9 back home and move on with your life.

    Why didn't he write his licencing exams b4 coming or immediately he got there? Lazy man.

    My husband is a doctor in nigeria, but we made sure he wrote all the licencing exams to practice here in the UK b4 joining me. He will be coming by the end of the year and will get a job as a doctor when he gets here because his licence is ready.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. if they live in the U.S, there is no licensing exams for doctors. He has to go back to school and start somewhere.

      Delete
    2. Uninformed opinion!! Pls Google USMLE 1,2&3 and ECFMG certification. Please shut your mouth when you don't know what you're saying. SMH!!! Thousands of foreign (Nigerian inclusive) Medical doctors are practicing successfully in the US

      Delete
    3. Anonymous 15:23, you are wrong. In the US there is the USMLE Exams doctors write in stages after which they have to apply for residency program. It is not equivalent to going back to school as the exams can be taken whenever one is prepared and there are available dates.

      Delete
    4. My thoughts exactly and if he should write those exams and pass in the USA the money he will be earning is not here. He is there wailing over 240k a man that refuses to see opportunities around him poster there is nothing to talk about the man is visionless and lazy. He doesn’t love you reason he is quick to jump into his old life. He does not feel obligated to you why do u have to waste your money investing in his masters any further.

      Delete
    5. Calm down folks! Even if he passes the exams, doesn’t guarantee that he will get a residency position! It’s not that simple!! But he is lazy because with the masters, he could also leverage his medical degree and get an exec position in pharma making 6 figures in usd!
      Spoken as a Dr here in the US!
      OP married an ungrateful, badly raised man! God help him

      Delete
    6. @Godschild, no one is saying it is guaranteed either. The poster didn't mention anything about such exams and we all know many countries needs such exams. The man is too laid back. Or he feels stifled by the help granted by the wife and his family

      Delete
    7. You guys are just arguing and assuming. What if they’re in Ghana, or South Africa, or one of those European countries where they don’t speak English? Where it’s hard to practice medicine? Both folks were in a hurry and didn’t seat down to plan for the future. And to be honest some men aren’t cut out to hustle and are ok living mediocre lives. For him to still be earning 240k as a doc means he probably isn’t even doing residency in Nigeria and is working as a medical officer . . This just makes me wonder wether poverty is a mind set. Because his hustler co colleagues have found a way into UK, US and Australia to work and this one is content to work as an MO in a village. Poster let sleeping dogs lie. This one is not a bread winner . Lazy man

      Delete
  5. The marriage is dead your father should never assist him cos he’ll be assisting him for another woman o let him keep his assistance and let the ingrate fend for his wicked self. Poverty and wickedness dey worry am

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly
      Poster, don't render anymore help to that poor excuse of a husband, be it financial or otherwise. Let him find his own footing, and feel the pinch of his poor selfish choices.

      Delete
    2. Tankyooo. My thoughts exactly

      Delete
  6. How can your husband demand you refund him for furnishing an apartment???? As if that was not enough he is now saying you shld contribute for the renovation of his parents house.....he is really shameless and he has no pride. See I don’t even have energy to start pinpointing all you did wrong in the name of understanding wife ( I am sure you already know where you goofed) allow the man to come back and don’t kill yourself with worry cos you already know what he will do when he comes back. Take care of yourself n make more money because Γ€unty it sound like you are married to yourself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He is bloodsucker, user, demon from hell. Nothing good will come out of this marriage. Drop him like its hot. He will continue to use you. Trust me, I am telling you. That is his modus operandi, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck........

      Delete
  7. An ingrate indeed. Follow Stella's advice and start living like one without husband,stop all these "keeping to my promise" before you find yourself in real debt.
    He's not your dad's responsibility,stop disturbing the man to help him get his former job, people like your husband need to suffer at least once to reset their brain.
    I hope you're not paying for his ticket back to Nigeria? If you're planning of doing that,abort mission,let him use the money he has saved in his account.

    ReplyDelete
  8. He is an entitled, lazy and ungrateful being. This is what most of us men go through with most of you ladies. Kpele. Make una no help am again. Make him hustle the money weh him go use take dey run him paroles himself.

    However, you see sex ehn, don't ever use it to manipulate or punish a man. It doesn't end well. Except you're ready for the worst.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If Dante can criticise a man then you know what it says about that man

      Delete
    2. Who commented on your behalf @DANTE. This is definitely not you 😎😎😎😎😎




      *Larry was here*

      Delete
    3. Indirectly blaming the woman, abeg hes the same.

      Delete
    4. I want to understand this.
      I can't sleep with someone when we ain't in good terms so it's not like she's denying him.
      They need to make a head way, before she will even be mentally prepared for sex.

      Wo what's the worst he can do, marriage will end and everyone go dey alright las las

      Delete
  9. Madam are u sure u have a husband?are u sure u didn't marry yourself?...I understand he isnt stingy, because a stingy man won't even send money to his family back home.A reasonable man knows he has a wife and must do all it takes to care for her and kids..does that man truly love you? Or he is with you because of what he stands to gain?if u can keep up with him,very well continue but if not u know what to do.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow Poster just like Stella said please dont confront him. Its unfortunate this happened. marriage from a distance as it causes strains and stress. Truth is you cant force him to take responsibility because you have always being doing that and more. He gave you 75k at least appreciate him for that even though its not enough. However this one sided way of doing things aint cool.. Just pray and follow him with wisdom.I perceive him as a self centred person but dont nag him.. All the best I believe other Bvs ll give you better counsel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don’t confront him... why? are men gods ? Even god when we are angry we express ourselves to him. The woman has been doing all the generosity and still getting insulted so what does her keeping quiet do for her ? She should please let him know and also let her family and his know. Because when he leaves her or harms her he will not waste time to tarnish her name and even her family’s name

      Delete
    2. Why should she not nag him? If she’s not sleeping with him, cooking, giving birth to children, hiding things would you be as kind? Or are women only here to suffer

      Delete
  11. Oh dear poster u are married to urself, sorry it's well, just press the ignore button. U are good as single, just live ur life and be happy biko dnt stress it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Gosh!!!

    This is when you marry a man that thinks he’s doing you a favour by marrying you!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Your husband is just taking undue advantage because from day one you have been footing the bills, it's not about marrying below your financial cadre, it's about an adult male living up to his responsibilities, as a father,a husband,and the head of the family, brace yourself up emotionally and financially you will soon be in for a surprise.

    ReplyDelete
  14. It is better you allow him relocate in peace. Allow your father help hin get his old job back, so that if it didn't work out, he will not have anything to guilt talk you with. But do not go anywhere with him. Nigeria is not a place to relocate to right now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then let him fucking talk! Her father should NOT help him out again!!! Period! Lazy fuck!

      Delete
  15. never marry down. if someone is below you money wise or social status take your time and be sure it is not from ulterior motives. another problem is this long distance relationship. you never truly get to know someone. marriage is just more than saying i love you. what are his visions, goals etc. Are you compatible in these areas? some people have no vision that includes any international doors, they are just content to be local champions their whole life. some people can never live abroad too. so if your vision does not see you living back in naija how will this marriage work? that is why when the foundation is faulty there is a big problem. he might have even married you because he needed a woman that wont be a liability while he takes care of his family. while he also owes a duty to helping his family he needs to balance it will joint partnership with his wife. let him go back first and you clear your head, if he turns out to be draining you and sleeping around then you choose your peace of mind and take it from there.

    ReplyDelete
  16. He still leaves his school fees for you. Waawu. I'm coming, let me go back to the chronicles.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Madam please allow him to relocate, i pray he gets his job back. Imagine oppoetuinities people are looking for. Let him go back to Nigeria, free him . he will beg you later. And when he goes back he should fund all his expenses himself. Per your bills yourself if can. Lets see who laughs last.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dating and courtship period is the time you have to talk and talk and talk deeply about EVERYTHING!!! If there was deep conversations you would have known the kind of person he is. Perception is everything. Both verbal and non verbal communication and thought processes should have helped you know the kind of person you were going to say "I DO" to. Midway through your write up i got angry cos how can a man be so ungrateful!Let him go back to Nigeria, and you try to ask GOD for direction and grace to carry on and make the right decisions going forward. I don't want to say you are stuck with a douche bag but sis this looks like a replica.God will help you. Amen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao it’s easy to say as if men don’t lie all the time. It’s not everything that is about seeing the signs ABEG

      Delete
    2. Deep conversation especially over the phone doesn’t reveal everything unfortunately. Too many issues with this relationship from the get go. One is distance. Two she assumed too much responsibility and she didn’t fall back when she saw the man was comfortable with it

      Delete
  19. Hmmmmm. I'm happy you refused building for his people... Im sorry but your hubby is selfish and a user...Let him return to Nigeria and don't makethe mistake of leaving the obodo oyinbo that you are oh. The law will favour you over there if he decides to misbehaves.

    When he arrives here eh, his eyes will clear. He never see chomchin. Don't borrow or give him any money again even if he arrives here cos he'll be using ur money to carry woman. I doubt he married you for love sha.

    As per ur Dad helping him, God will continue to bless him for his good deeds. If you want all ur kids to be from this man or from one man, I'll advise you do so before he leaves. By then, you would have stopped paying for his education and you should have extra cash with you. God bless you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  20. This is not the definition of a husband pls. You see that Stella's advice???? Pls take it.

    ReplyDelete
  21. It is always like that. Ndi i will share the bills 50:50 with my hubby. Dear ladies, forget twitter talks, avoid shouldering responsibilities in the early stage of your relationship. Allow the man to pick the bills especially wedding bills. That is why i laugh at you kids when you rant about how expensive igbo wedding lists are. If you like be handling bills as per strong woman, the man will take his extra change and look for young girls to spend their money own. Naija men are wired as spenders, if they don't spend on you they will spend on someone else. Your duty as a woman is for you and your kids to look sharp with their money and yours too, cook them good food with lots of animals, save money to surprise them in times of hard times. Know this and know peace. Madam, the earlier you begin to task him the better for you, you're still talking of paying for masters meaning you haven't learnt your lesson yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So much for equality.
      Be justifying your greed with naija men are wired spenders. I'm not wired that way, my friends are not wired that way. We spend only on necessary stuff, not entitled pest.
      That's why you keep meeting men that won't respect you with these our shitty mindset.

      You're the female version of her husband

      Delete
    2. The woman did well, it's just unfortunate she met an ungrateful user.
      Don't blame her for that cos you want to justify your uselessness and dependence on men

      Delete
    3. Dante, real Naija men that are in love are heavy spenders. Anon 16:01 is correct.

      Delete
    4. Lol..
      I don't take seriously any word that come after "real men"..
      Real women are what then.. heavy receivers bah?
      Mtcheew
      If you're not meeting my energy at worst 70-30.. just forget it..

      Delete
    5. 16:01 tht is why it is not good to start a rship in dating stage with spending on a man. it will be hard to stop for her n may even cause more drama if she stops. all these people buying bf n husband all in the name of I must have a man, stop it

      Delete
    6. My dear!!! Never start spending in the early stages. To hell with that kind of equality, I don’t want it. My mantra is “I’m not an independent woman!” Make of it what you will.

      When the foundation of the relationship has been strongly established, I can start spending, depending on how I perceive the spirit of the man.

      If he doesn’t spend on you, he will find someone else to spend on.

      Imagine the gall of the foolish man to be going after her househelp!!! Tufiakwa

      Delete
    7. Dante I repeat over and over again. U are a nonentity and not worthy of standing up when real men are being called. So close your smelling mouth on real man topics cus u have no idea.
      Better go n join likes of bobrisky..na there ur category be. Stella if u like swallow my comment because Dante na your prized pikin. I don talk my own

      Delete
  22. Dear poster, if I must tell you the truth, you are a bit on the domineering side. You are pushful. There is nothing immature and irresponsible I deduced about your husband from your write up. Yes, it was a big sacrifice for him to resign his federal paying job to be with his wife. Many Nigerian men won't do it. By right you were supposed to relocate and join him but since it was abroad matter, na you come win.

    Do you know what a federal job is in Nigeria? A man abandons something that can take care of him for life to join you and it's no big deal to you? Why didn't you relocate to join him? Or you think abroad is better? See poster, there is no better place in the world. The best place to be is where your destiny lies. That's where one is making it. Granted, life there is organized but does it fit into his plans?

    You said he's a doctor. Is it academic or medical? Because I don't see a medical doctor finding it difficult to get a job over there except maybe I'm wrong. Besides , I thought doctors push forward to be residents and then from there they become consultants. Which one is masters? If he is an academic doctor, will he go back to masters? I'm confused here.

    You expected him to bow down to you each moment because he: made you forfeit traditional marriage; your father collected only 1500 bride price. And so?

    You and your siblings just want to control him but you call it help. Not everyone can work and school at the same time.

    My advice:
    1. Stop complaining and expecting so much from him.

    2. Sit him down and find out what he really wants. You'd be shocked what he'll tell you.

    3. Start praying about your marriage. Tell God to take absolute control and let his will be done.

    4. Stop involving your family in your marital affairs so deeply. Men feel derided when in-laws know everything about their lives. Be subtle about it if they must help.

    5. Appreciate all he does for you no matter how little. Verbalize your appreciation. You'd be surprised what this can achieve for you.

    6. Stop denying him sex. It is sin before God. God can't fight for you when you go against his laws. Sex is not reward for actions but a right for both parties. It is pure wickedness do deny him. It even helps solve problems in the home.

    7. Don't (ever) confront your husband. Marriage is all about dialogue. Pray before you approach him on any subject matter.

    8. Tell him your findings about his extra marital affairs. Apologize for having caused it.

    9. Anything you expect him to do, tell him. He is not super human to know everything. From appreciating your parents, to checking up on them. Not everyone knows these things. He may not have been exposed to these things growing up. That's why you are his wife to complement his deficiencies.

    10. Finally, you seem to be the one with a better expose here. Help him build gently. If he wants to relocate to Nigeria, please follow him. He is your husband.

    In all, pray very hard. The devil hates the family unit with a passion. Don't let your home disintegrate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is that you dear husband obodo oyibo??

      Delete
    2. Abeg park for corner, which kin advice be all these one?

      Delete
    3. I need to know if you are female or male? I have been noticing your comments and they are not it at all

      Delete
    4. You have very good points.
      Poster look through this and be honest if these are the truth. If so follow his advice.
      Especially point 4 and 6.. that denying of sex is big deal.. I don't know why any wife would do that except she's sick, recovering or really tired.. that shii doesn't always end well.
      Him resigning a federal government job is also a big deal.

      However, I still think he is ungrateful to your parents tho.. all those excuse about what you should give to someone who has everything na nonsense.. it's always selfish people that use that line.. what matters in a gift is the gesture and not the gift in particular.. (we're not talking about boxers and handkerchief here oh, I know own you girls now will twist this) just something tangible that would show you went out of your way to get.

      Also I don't think you should be building a home for his parents.. let him start earning something tangible then you can support him through the process.

      Good luck

      Delete
    5. Ignore this.

      That man will use you for everything you are worth and still leave you.

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
    6. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒJechix I love your comment to this poster. Poster while I read your post, I could see that why your husband is not right in most of his actions, you seem to have some character issues also. You are so none appreciative of his little efforts also. He is guilty but madam look deeply you are doing a lot of wrongs too. Please, also limit your family interference in your marriage cos I saw that a lot.

      Delete
    7. Jesus christ!!! I can't believe people like you exist. I'm ashamed for you. You need an education. Pete Edoche should be your mentor.

      Delete
    8. I don't understand all this syop denying him sex bullshit. I don't understand how you open legs for someone you're no more attracted to. Like you just force the connection or you allow him to rape you? I don't get it. Maybe someone should explain better. Please let's put people in our shoes when you type, like try and be logical abeg.

      Delete
    9. Nana..
      What explanation do yu want.. no one is forcing you to, but when you don't, don't complain when someone else opens for him..

      I don't even understand why a married man should be sex starved.. the wise ones don't allow quarrel get to that place.. some couples are not on talking terms but have passionate sex every night you know? After sex they turn and continue fight Lol..

      The reason some married men cheat is this denial of sex thing.. I Used to have a married friend who's been married for over 14 years, he has side chics, he used to tell me then that those side chics are the one keeping his home from divorce.. I didn't understand until one day he explained how his wifey is a nag and weaponise sex, whenever she needs anything and he doesn't do it immediately, no sex.. he started running outside paroles to remain sane and cope..
      no one likes to be manipulated you know..

      Even marriage counselors and parents would give you the same advice. Don't go and let over sabi be doing you.

      You go tell man say if him won fuck make him marry, he go marry finish him no go still see the fuck.. single guys dey even enjoy pussy pass am.. she you expect your husband to dey soapy nii.. take time oh

      Delete
    10. Jechix....you made sense but number 4, 6 and 8 are flawed...especially number 8...no woman is the cause of a man's infidelity...please never blame a wife for her husband's infidelity...thank you.

      Delete
    11. Dante, I find you very confusing. You write very well but also seem to have the mentality of a cave man. I do think you need a bit more exposure. You have the potential to be much more; I suggest opening your mind and perhaps widening your social circle.

      Delete
  23. I disagree with Stella. Women keeping quiet is why men get away with these things. Tomorrow when he wants to abandon the wife he will tarnish her name and no one will know all that she did for him and went through. If he chases her out of the home people who didn’t know them before will think it’s the man’s home and money. If being meek and mild saved Nigerian women from disrespect then all wives would be respected and cared for afterall who doesn’t want a happy home? It’s not by giving money and submission, let us be honest. Please let his family and yours know everything and keep things well documented. No one expects these things to happen to them but that’s life. We are not better or more special than the women who these things happen to so no need to be in denial when you’re in an unhealthy or abusive marriage. Poster I think you know what is happening and it is sad but I wish you healing. Just open your eyes and don’t think playing goody two shoes will help you out of this. Instead it will destroy you and you may even be left with nothing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. even ordinary bf/gf relationship that ended for me, i shouted from the rooftop that their son was an ashewo. i'm sure they knew but I didn't care cus he tried to do that whole image tarnishing bullshit that most naija men do at the end of a relationship. i didn't give him room. i was on all social media calling him out. I don't even know where the courage came from sha cus i am calm these days and I cringe when i think about how vocal I was.. but shaaaa it is a mixed emotion cus i didn't let myself be bullied. moreso i knew i was innocent and remained loyal thru that silly relationship even though i had many temptations and opportunities to cheat with better men, mscheww. that was what paiined me most.
      Look, it's not everytime you're supposed to form quiet, feminine good girl and be calm. Sometimes show small weyrey so people know ur not to be fucked with especially when ur reputation is on the line.

      Delete
    2. Are you alright at all? You had many temptations and opportunities to cheat with better men, can you hear yourself?

      Delete
    3. Yes I am very alright!. ARE YOU??!! I don't think so! Stupid mumu men that see opportunities to cheat and take them over and over again are the ones that are doing well abi..o da bi pe ori e o pe rara.. in fact brain dey pain you. O nsiere.no allow me pass aggression to you. Do u know what it means to almost miss out on a better man for a worthless rag that u thought was a king? No! So shut the ever living fawk up! To any lady out there u better have backup bf, any guy toasting u allow them toast n don't reject them cus of bf that can become ex at any time. Mind u I never said sleep with them before one mumu with leaking brain will come and start foaming at the mouth under my comments . Thank God I wasn't rude to the guys toasting me then so it has made it easy for them to resume toasting

      Delete
    4. Anon 19:35 ur very stupid for that ridiculous question u asked. Did I tell u I cheated? How would u feel if u had people begging u to leave your boo n then u later find on your boo is useless? Or did u just jump to spew your judgemental rubbish without using your brain???? After all men cheat all the time n you losers support them and blame the women.

      Delete
  24. Where do you girls find these kind of gold-diggers and marry?
    Are you sure this guy went to 6-7yrs medical school.
    He reeks of zero discipline and wisdom.
    Sti=op managing him. Let him go away from your life. He is not worth the stress.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I couldn't finish reading but from the few paragraphs I read, you settled for less.

    Are you old or ugly that you became so desperate to marry a man way out of your league??? Don't get me started with that love talk πŸ™„
    Imagine paying his tuition fees and shit like that, who send you? Carry your cross biko

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am married to a doctor syndrome.

      Delete
    2. You dey mind the ode woman. A whole tuition fee when you can use that money to cater to you and your child. She has no self love or respect for herself hence the disrespect from the husband. Poster you’ve enabled him so deal with it or do things entirely different for once!! My goodness I’m so angry!!!!

      Delete
  26. Now this is sickening!

    Can't complete reading.

    Tired of all these men wanting to marry a woman that would take care of their (men) responsibility.

    Even God in heaven knows I cannot do that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only pick me women do that. or women that have been so beaten down by society that they feel it is better to be a man's ATM than be without a man at all. almost fell into that trap recently. But God slapped sense into me using the guy's own mouth sef. I am grateful. some women are not so lucky.

      Delete
  27. Please there is nothing about the woman being "bread"(and butter) winner.
    I've been doing it for my family for more than ten years now and I am not complaining.
    As long as God gives me the resources, I am happily doing it.
    God bless my loving husband who obeyed the Lord to marry me and the Lord blessed us 'with very
    beautiful kids. 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What is your your advice here. And what are you insulating.

      Delete
    2. Insulating ke. Oyibo supu

      Delete
    3. I am not insinuating anything.
      I simply mean what I wrote. I am happy being the one
      that God is using to provide for my lovely husband and kids.
      We have more than enough. We live in the same diaspora like this lady that
      wrote in. I don't complain. It is no big deal. In fact, we send money to his
      sister who is unemployed monthly. I say "we" because whatever I earn belongs
      to both of us. God remains "the great provider" not me.
      😁😁😁

      Delete
    4. You’re not well e be like you’ve been jazzed. Or perhaps your husband is a supernatural man or you’re being sarcastic

      Delete
    5. You people should leave her alone. She's a relentless pick me that sees her husband as the prize and playing his masculine role works for her, so she says..not every woman can be helped. N she actually needs to make herself feel better so don't rain on her parade

      Delete
  28. After all this advise, this woman will still do what is in her mind. All the man needs to do is pretend that he is changed for 3months and this woman will be back to the exact same spot. I have learnt not to advise people Cos they always do the opposite. Madam make sure after reading people’s advise, that you come back with the update of how you reconciled and are now pregnant. It is well with you and I pray God gives you the grace to move forward.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sad but true. We love men too much but don’t even love ourselves. May God help us

      Delete
  29. In Iyanla's voice, Lady ,stop being a upper fixer
    you ain't his mama.

    ReplyDelete
  30. You settled and settled badly. I felt sad reading this because even a basic opportunist/social climber will make the best out of the opportunity you and your family provided him. However, this man is inherently wicked, manner less and bears deep resentment towards you. It goes beyond lazy, unambitious, comfort zone addiction and poor family background.

    There are basic principles of life that comes hard to bite on people when it is disobeyed. When someone puts you in job and you can't buy even wine at least from your first pay and deservedly appreciate that person, you jinx your progress. You either mess up your job or find yourself in a fix that might require that person's help but now with no face or even worse, a sense of misdirection or unexplainable behaviour that brings no dignity to any acquisition made.

    Mr Man up there wants life on his terms... Hardly possible! Resents you are better up, battles a sense of inadequacy, has the poor in spirit inferiority complex against his supposed betters, is out to sabotage you but most importantly, you are both incompatible and he has tons, I mean tons of pride. I can't blame you for denying sex afterall sex is first mental before physical if it's not transactional as it should in the realm of marriage. He can't check on his in laws as a lowkey socially awkward sociopath, who resents his economically superior in laws and is all about himself...again,pride and inferiority complex. I also think you have done enough.

    240K federal job is not so good in the next 2years... Just watch. Besides the expenses of child rearing come on. Look, you may need to make some very hard decisions here. Calm down, take a piece of paper,on two columns, write out the pros and cons of this marriage. Also write out what could be better (maritally, financially) and how each of you can make that happen. You seem willing to make the best out of everything and I applaud you sincerely for your resilience and progressive mindset. However, if you sincerely access that your husband won't make the effort. Please drop the excess load in all entirety. Masters, marriage, financial assistance, communication, memory whatever. Just reboot and restart by putting yourself first. You deserve your best life on Earth, don't do what God cannot do for him....Take away his choice of a hopeless existence! Hugs sis🌹❤️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

      Delete
    2. Be careful about advising people to end marriage. It's a.sacred Union. Everything possible to make it work should have been tried first.
      Let them involve a respected elder from each family first. No be everything be Internet. Pete Edochie spoke about this yesterday, but ladies won't hear that part... it's irrevamt things ladies are more concerned abpit

      Delete
    3. You are right Dante...its not all about ending a marriage..they have to exhaust all available right options to fix their issues...and they will be fine.

      Delete
    4. Empress CHO, let’s be friends please! You’re a wise individual! I love reading your comments here. Hugs and kisses to you πŸ€—πŸ˜˜πŸ˜

      Delete
  31. anything having to do with helping a man get on his feet, i comot my hand. cus once they feel u like them so much to be helping them, see finish enters and it is that stuff u help him on that he will use to chase other women. highest i can help u find job cus i know i can still gain from u later. bt giving huge sums of money, paying for car house expensive things for man? Mbanu, ALL are ungrateful. ALL. esp those ones that come from nothing. u would think they would be grateful but a man is only as loyal as his options. that once humble man will turn to lion in your hand if you don't know how to give him ela from time to time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whenever we want to comment on this blog that ALL men are ungrateful in situations like this we get dragged. Men don’t need help in this way. Support don’t carry. Mistakes start from paying big bills for your own wedding, buying men tickets, sponsoring education. Haba! No matter how far we evolve, nobody can be serving you with loyalty because of what you’ve done for them. They will either rebel or start using you. Women, we cannot buy a husband.
      Poster, you will have to decide if you want this marriage or not especially with the cheating. He’s now an entitled stingy user and emotionally blackmailing you with his family commitments in Nigeria. If you change he will definitely start punishing you somehow and may even use this as his excuse to start a Naija family. Marriage is hard but you may need to change your own mindset and set serious boundaries. STOP paying and harden yourself because entitled users hate change.
      I can’t advise on the long distance because I can’t do it myself and I can’t advise anyone to end their marriage unless there is DV or non physical DV in the form of severe emotional abuse affecting their mental health. Start making yourself and your child a priority daily no matter how small. You matter.

      Delete
  32. when building a man goes wrong. i was startin to feel like i was doing sth wrong but yet again men and other women's experiences with men show me time and time again that it is not worth it being the level up woman. let that man struggle on his own n live according to his means if u must stay with him. DON'T help a man to get on his feet. i repeat, DONT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You that you never build yourself, your sisters or brothers, your friends or members of your extended family before marriage now wants to build a man in marriage, abegi go find somewhere sit down with your bs, build ko, freya the builder ni

      Delete
    2. Married a visionless, entitled, prideful man who disguised all through courtship.
      Wooh! After the churchrat borrowed every dime he could, used my ATM card & threatened my life because I asked for the repayment of a lump sum, I took our child and left him.
      Let the unfortunate soul meet his end at the hands of another.

      Delete
    3. Anon 19:49 if not for cheap data can a COMPOUND FOOL like you even fix your unwashed mouth to tell me nonsense? Internet na real leveller sha. The fact that the things u call female in your family are all USELESSSS n never made any thing of their worthless lives doesn't mean all women are like that. Ok? Eya. E choke you. I can ask u to drop aza make i allow u people smile for the rest of the decade. N U go drop o Hungry fool. Na your empty belle and empty brain I blame not you. Na ur type dey yab celeb n enter inbox to beg too. Weyrey!

      Delete
    4. Anon 19:49 oh r u a worthless excuse of a man using women to get money too?!! Aww you came to defend your family member in laziness, gigoloism and stupidity. Oponu!!!

      Delete
    5. Anon 19:49 no go look for how u go make your own money to feed your family o. Keep looking for woman to ride and use to level up your worthless life. Upon all the using u dey do u still never blow. Ntoorrrr. Go and work. Stop relying on women, you lazy FOOOL! LMAOOOOOOOOO e pain you ode!

      Delete
    6. Anon 19:49 eya..u must really be hungry and frustrated. All your plans to use women must have FAILED just like u did at life! See u, see sniper. U know what to do to make the world a better place for us all. Ode.

      Delete
    7. Anon 19:49 keep defending your worthlessness as a man o.. it's me that I've built myself and I can finish building you n your entire family that you should be passing pent up frustration. No go work to better your own life. Upon all d using way u dey do and u still dey do u still never make am....sooo.... I think YOU should have a million seats and think about how useless YOUR life is..stay away from sharp objects and transformers o

      Delete
    8. Anon 19:49 that is why men like you will die poor. Your type can never make it unless a woman helps you so I see why ur mad

      Delete
    9. Anon 19:49 pele o. I don forget say your type, living off women na your daily bread. Your type can NEVER make it on his own without riding a woman's coattails.so my bitter truth is like literally taking bread out your mouth. Oponu oshi!!

      Delete
    10. Pele o..anon 19 49 n u know I haven't built myself because you are who again?.all seeing eye abi..osheyyy..why have u not SEEN a way out of your wretchedness stupidity and poverty.????? Na question I ask o. No go find work o. Be looking for woman to build u upandan. Oponu! Big fool!!

      Delete
  33. Never marry below your standards, this is marriage biko a marriage should up lift both parties not to drain abeg. The Lord is your strength. Pls ladies let a man be a man o how will you nd your family pay for your own traditional wedding? Is it by force to marry? The foundation of your marriage is really shaken


    Mama rere

    ReplyDelete
  34. Don’t let your dad return the Nigerian job for him as I wonder how u want to do distance marriage if he is working in Nigeria! U should be fighting for him to stay with you, u can see he is already planning to cheat in Nigeria! Explain to your dad to decieve him like he is still working on it and should not do any follow up as regards him getting back his job, I am saying this because he might leave u when he gets back his job, if he is going to Nigeria , that means he has no plans of coming to get another job in the abroad! Be wise and don’t let your struggle be in vain ooo, u have made mistake by paying your bride price and marrying below your standard! He wants to use u or rather he is using u , so u better use him too, do t let ur dad give him back that job, long distance marriage with all this quarrel is a no no

    ReplyDelete
  35. Stop marrying from poor family or people off your league they wouldn’t hear. Now see the outcome it’s always the same white or blacks folks period!

    ReplyDelete

  36. Rich Girl.Meets Poor Boy

    Poster when your husband met you during courtship he must have blessed God,  "He has met his destiny-helper. - A miracle that looks like a lie"

    You and your family choose to pay for his needs financially, but why the ingrate stories now?

    Poster You know your man's finances aren't buoyant as yours and you confirmed it on his behalf.  - He's Poor but a doctor in the making.


    The reality is that his financial mentally widely  differs from yours, but you choose to live the wife-life with him. I am sure he must have converted every living expense from US dollars to Naira and focused on where it would serve him well the most. NIGERIA

    He too would have thought deep to decide to relocate back home. See it from his views, communicate your emotions to him. Get both families involved - May wisdom prevail..

    You overgave with expectations which has borderlines with sex, money and power games - TOXIC LOVE.

    Gratitude on your terms might make him feel enslaved and less emasculated.

    He is not used to your kind of love at all.

    Stella: How do rich ladies stay successfully married to poor men? Some do make it work.

    ---Say So...

    ReplyDelete
  37. Ladies, never marry below your social class. It rarely ends well. The average Nigerian man and his family begin to read meaning to every single thing you do. Envy and jealousy enters.

    The average Nigerian woman rejoices when the husband wins whether equal to or bigger than her, the average Nigerian man reacts badly when his wife wins bigger than him. He either belittles her achievements, drags her shortcomings before others to make her feel small, emotional or physically abuses her or ignores her achievements. Many married ladies shy away from announcing their promotions at work because they're trying not to bruise their husbands' ego. On the other hand, if it's the man that got a promotion, his wife would rejoice even when her own promotion she has been expecting hasn't happened.

    Stop playing the man's part during wedding preparations. For me, that's a first big red flag. The vast majority don't appreciate it in the long run. In fact, they throw it to your face that you married yourself. But una no dey hear. A man who truly wants to marry you will work hard to marry you properly.

    A man who truly loves you would never be comfortable watching you do the hustling. He would rather hustle to make you comfortable. He would spend his money on you. In fact, it won't be a big deal for him to spend on you. The moment you notice the man you're dating squeezing face because he has to spend on you, walk away. I have seen men in love and taking care of their women financially is one of their love language whether rich or poor.

    I'm sorry to say this Poster, but I'm 90% sure your husband is spending on another woman without batting an eyelid. Can't advise you to divorce him. That's your decision to make.

    ReplyDelete
  38. He has a green card so his options are limitless. He will marry another wife in Nigeria while you are paying for masters and building family house.

    ReplyDelete
  39. God bless and continue to enrich your family. Anon@ 16.52

    You are 1 in millions of Nigerian women.

    Dear Poster, drop all expectations of your husband and try your best to find out what he truly wants. If you both can't agree on a mutually beneficial plan, then discuss to peacefully agree on what would satisfy you individually as husband and wife, or separated.

    Truth be told, not all men are wired for high pressured money success life. Some men want the varandah success life - just enough with minimal sweat.

    Your story reminds me about the story of a man married as a house husband to a Doctor in UK. He spoke so well of the marriage and how some of his wife's friends and his friends tried it but failed. So for every challenged marriage, there are similar successful ones.

    Clearly your husband is not made for the life you want him to live in the abroad. I know people who went abroad and came back willing or unwillingly with nothing. Same abroad others went to and came back with "boxful"

    And does the repeated advice about not marrying down apply to men too?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The mentality of the average Nigerian man and his family is what makes marrying down difficult for women

      Toxic masculinity

      Stella please do a story asking people to give examples of toxic masculinity

      Delete
  40. Reading through the comments, I realise that no Nigerian man deserves any kind of assistance from a woman because most of them usually end up ungrateful. But a Nigerian man can do anything and everything for a woman, because he loves her or just to prove that he's the man. Women are never ungrateful, only Nigerian men are wired this way. I respect Dante a lot oooo, you are really trying, having a voice in the midst of these women. I wonder if they ever try to see things from others' perspective. I notice most of the peices of advice they dish out is how the average woman should be strong emotionally and the single ladies should be prepared to handle disappointments from men because Nigerian men must eventually disappoint. Hmm, can't wait to see the kind of men, these women that seem to know so much will train their male children to be. Can the future come already

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dante stfu we know it's you n your insipid comments hiding under anon. yessss!! Naija Men have proved they are ungrateful..dante did u just call yourself a man amongst women.?.LMAOOOOO joke of the yr..you that is our resident bobrisky here. Real men r out there striving to feed their homes n not camping on blogs day n night waiting for someone's daughter to build them up

      Delete
    2. @anon 02:45, I smile at your reply. I think Dante can see your opinion of him. Unfortunately, this is what most if not all of you think of him. May I inform you lots of men visit the blog to have idea of how women reason and how to handle you guys better. Thanks to Stella for the platform. It feels good to know what goes on in your heads and this has always helped us to step up our games too, as men. At least to serve you better.

      Delete
  41. He doesn’t love you. He married to come abroad and better the life of his family. The one he sees as family is the one back home and not with you. Unfortunately, abroad hadn’t turned out the way he expected so he is unhappy with you and your family.

    Ask your father not to help him get the job. The more your family helps him, the more he resents you and your family. Stop helping him. At this point, he’s just in your life to get as much financial gains as he can get from your family and will leave when you no longer serve any purpose to him.

    Don’t talk divorce with him. Just ignore him and face your daughter and yourself. Any day, he comes and says he’s moving to Nigeria, wish him Goodluck and bid him farewell. If he goes back and makes effort to be in touch and acts like a man with a family, good. However, if he leaves and never keeps in touch or anything, after sometime, you should file for divorce based on abandonment. Close that chapter and move on.

    If you ask me, I would say, stop paying for his masters program. That’s me o.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Hmmn. Same way I filed for my hubby who got here and in short, the marriage is over. Worst mistake of my life. May God have mercy.

    ReplyDelete
  43. If I hear pim from you ehn, I will woozz your face!! Paying a man’s tuition fees and yet suffering. You even paid for your own wedding???? What is wrong with you?!?!? Is your self worth so damaged that you can no longer pick yourself up? Is this what you’re training your daughter to see in the home?? Because she’ll definitely mirror what she sees at home. Now you’re so stressed out you don’t know how to handle this situation anymore. Figure it out abeg since you’re the enabler plus we know you won’t listen to our advise. So continue your suffer head.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Women you cannot buy loyalty, love, kindness or a husband

    STOP DECEIVING YOURSELF

    DESPERATION smells
    The Predators smell it and come in for the kill

    Stop attracting wild animals ( educated or not, rich or not, handsome or not) an animal is an animal

    Wearing clothes does not make it human

    It must show its animal nature in time no.matter how you fool yourself or try to package it

    Stop feeding what is waiting to gather strength to bite you

    ReplyDelete

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