Interesting one from Dr Freak!
He says
"Benue council imposes curfew over missing genitals."
The above caption made the rounds in Motherland a while back and when that news broke, I knew I had to give my Testimony...
1990:
I was a little boy and I had just 'graduated' from secondary school at the time. I think my Mom was out of town and I was home alone so this afforded me the privilege of taking a trip to "our" then State Capital -Akure and "Oja-Oba" was my destination .
"Benue council imposes curfew over missing genitals."
The above caption made the rounds in Motherland a while back and when that news broke, I knew I had to give my Testimony...
1990:
I was a little boy and I had just 'graduated' from secondary school at the time. I think my Mom was out of town and I was home alone so this afforded me the privilege of taking a trip to "our" then State Capital -Akure and "Oja-Oba" was my destination .
I had this "Omo-Ibo" customer who stocked his boutique with just about everything ranging from Jeans to T-shirts to shoes, etc. I cannot remember his name now, but we enjoyed a robust relationship. I had gone to get a few items with my 'hard-earned' savings and I could not afford to waste time as I had to rush back home before Mom's arrival.
On my way out of the market, I came in contact with one weird looking man. He touched me and I felt this strange chills around my genital region! This "hoax" did not just start in 2020 for your information. The rumour was all over the place then that some persons had dispersed agents all over Akure with a clear mandate -to steal as many male gentials as possible!
On my way out of the market, I came in contact with one weird looking man. He touched me and I felt this strange chills around my genital region! This "hoax" did not just start in 2020 for your information. The rumour was all over the place then that some persons had dispersed agents all over Akure with a clear mandate -to steal as many male gentials as possible!
I was scared to the marrow!
One, my Mom did not know my whereabouts. No one else knew that I came to Akure. I did not even have a girlfriend, let alone being married at the time, so you can imagine how frightened I must have been.
Omo! I cried out and grabbed the suspect's arm. Before anyone could say Jack Robinson, the teeming crowd had rounded the suspect up. Come and see drama. Thank God Akure was not as volatile as some cities at the time. "Eko o ni baje o".
There was pandemonium in the market! Some were of the view that he should be lynched. Some were of the view that presumption of innocence was in his favour. Eventually, the voice of reason prevailed. An elderly man led me into his shop and asked me to examine my genital area critically. Behold, it was there!
I was too embarrassed to come out and face the crowd. They all awaited my return impatiently. Eventually, news got to my 'fans' that my genital had been 'restored' and that was how the stranger escaped lynching and I escaped through the 'back door'. How could I have faced that crowd, with or without my 'tool'!
It's been thirty (30) long years now. On a very serious note, I still wonder aloud, is there any living being whose genital has been successfully 'stolen'? Rumours were rife in the past of how a woman had stolen several genitals and by the time she was apprehended, she gave some guy a wrong 'tool'. There was this joke that his "6 inches' was replaced with a 3-inch 'tool' and that generated another furore again. In any event, I cannot authoritatively/honestly state that mine was tampered with at the time. I think it was more of imagination or apprehension.
It's been thirty (30) long years now. On a very serious note, I still wonder aloud, is there any living being whose genital has been successfully 'stolen'? Rumours were rife in the past of how a woman had stolen several genitals and by the time she was apprehended, she gave some guy a wrong 'tool'. There was this joke that his "6 inches' was replaced with a 3-inch 'tool' and that generated another furore again. In any event, I cannot authoritatively/honestly state that mine was tampered with at the time. I think it was more of imagination or apprehension.
Well, thank God I got 'it' back, 'any which way'.
NB: I never shared this story with anyone before this moment, not even my Mom. I'm sure my wife Mech is hearing of this for the very first time!
Beware of genital 'robbers'!
I am Kunle!
NB: I never shared this story with anyone before this moment, not even my Mom. I'm sure my wife Mech is hearing of this for the very first time!
Beware of genital 'robbers'!
I am Kunle!
😂😁😂😁 Your fans? What of your ACs? Interesting much!
ReplyDeleteTalking about missing genitals let tell my own experience.
ReplyDeleteI went to the market on a certain market day, after buying everything and was walking to where I can get bike I noticed someone touched my bumbum and as I turn it was one funny looking girl or woman standing at where they sell ok clothes.
She had big eyes, big mouth with overly plastered blue eyeshadows and lipstick to go with.
She said sorry that it was a mistake, but I noticed instantly that my bumbum became smaller.
Not funny but since then my ass is no longer big the way it used to be.
Maybe I should have shouted and make a scene immediately I noticed it, but then my mind never went to that.
Since then my ass has never been the same.
😲 please tell me you're joking
DeleteThis sounds like a joke, what is their purpose exactly?
DeleteLmaooooooooooooooooooo
DeleteOh my God!
DeleteIs this a joke😲
DeleteROTFL!!! Haba,, did na 'Big' joke abeeeeg!
DeleteLol, your story is still common today. Especially with plenty rituals going on. Thank God you escaped and the man was not lynched.
ReplyDeleteYou're very funny, how come your wife is hearing of your tales just as we are now?
ReplyDeleteAnyway,true,genitals disappearing seem to be more of a myth than fact,what do i know.
I pray i don't experience it.
What is the purpose of that unreasonable question?
DeleteThat sensation you felt is real, they don't necessarily make the genitals disappear but make you impotent or unable to perform sexual intercourse
ReplyDeleteThis actually seems and sounds more realistic than a physically disappearing genital, not saying its impossible oh but very unlikely.
DeleteLol hope ur original one was not one of those shipped to Asia recently 🤣🤣🤣. Anyway seriously all those things were caused by fake mass hysteria. Evidence of backwardness then. I’m shocked people still believe in it.
ReplyDeleteNa wa
ReplyDeleteThank God for restoration.
ReplyDeleteBut the thing no lost before na
Delete@giftmoesha,I forgot to put quotation mark for d restoration, Weds e go or e no go or was returned after the shouting, I just thank God it came back. If not, wetin en for do now?
DeleteLol.
ReplyDeleteSo interesting, well done.
Hahahahahaa so funny
ReplyDeleteIn the year 2009 or 2010, can't really remember which in my community ka**ma something like this happened.
ReplyDeleteMarried man slept with this babe and after coming out next thing man started shouting that his genitals is missing.
People gathered, checked him the genital was there but soft like cloth.
He said he can't feel anything down there and people started beating this babe. She said it's true that she took it but it's with her friend. Kasala.
They went to the friend but she denied knowledge of such thing, she was beaten but she kept saying she's innocent.
Finally the first girl did one two things and the man felt his think back. They said he should go sleep with her again to know if it's functional but after the do he said it's not functioning properly so the girl was beaten up again and ordered to go do it well.
She did her things again and they were asked to go inside and sex again to know if it's ok and that was how man got his manhood back.
Babe died years later after confessing of being a witch.
This Ireti a true life story.
😱😳
DeleteSee joli joli😄
DeleteI don't think u mean what you just said now😮😮😮
Delete😲😲😲😲
Delete🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆
DeleteHa!
DeleteIf they take it the penis would remain there but it would look like that of a year old baby. How can a grown up man in his 20s have the penis of a year old baby you would ask. I know this because it happened to a close friend of mine. The man who took it was caught. This happened at computer village ikeja. It was shown on nnkan nbe which was produced by late kola olawuyi. The penis was returned and he felt it come back to its former size. He was asked to test it with a prostitute to know if its still working. I had a good laugh that day but initially it was not funny.
DeleteMarried man wey dey waka waka go see anyhow
DeleteWhile in kaduna I hired an okada rider that takes me to work and picks me after too. One Friday morning he dropped me off,after work I kept calling no answer. I had to find another means home.
ReplyDeleteI saw his brother and he told me that my okada rider is in the church. He picked a man and when the man hot down his penis disappeared. While he was calling for help the man ran away.
He stayed in the church for 3days . Everyone was certain that he was penisless. I didn't go and check sha.
I haven't seen him again. The last time I visited kaduna my mum told me he is married with a son. Meaning the penis came back
it was a common thing back then in kaduna.
DeleteThings are happeningin this country. Can't they use their super powers to do something more productive like wiping away bad leaders instead of these petty wickedness?
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on this 😀
DeleteLol....very interesting read👍🏻
ReplyDelete...Well the closest I have ever heard about "stolen penises" was told to me by a neighbour.
ReplyDeleteHe said it happened to his friend. This friend of his dated a girl for 9 years, even used the girls money from her business to pay his school fees. At the last minute, he found a flimsy excuse to break up with her. Within the next 3 months, he married somebody else. Didn't even have the decency to tell the ex that he was getting married. His friends and family did not support his actions but alas!
Fast forward some years later, he bumped into this ex in a supermarket. She was hot! hot! hot! He "retoasted" her again. Surprisingly, she was not hostile to him. Within that week, they had sex many times. She never resisted him. He had his ego stroked that he still had his effect on her.
After that one week, the girl stopped picking his calls, he could not even reach her anymore. She just like disappeared as easily as she appeared.
Well according to my neighbour, that week was the last time that man had sex till the day he was telling me the story. The thing did not work again oh my people. Not for his wife, not for side chicks, not even for prostitutes. He could not get an erection. Went for medical tests and all....
They said he was looking for the girl but she cannot be found.
I found this laughable.
ReplyDeleteMissing genitals? The owner will be so ruffled.
Thanks @ I am Kunle.
Will catch up on the previous posts.
I enjoy your books,even though you turned your back.
I know that bongo and the "suspender".
Hahaha.
Heard so many stories 'bout it then.
ReplyDelete