Stella Dimoko Dr Freaks Journal - "Room 215" -


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Wednesday, April 28, 2021

Dr Freaks Journal - "Room 215" -

 Another Interesting Read from Doctor Freak.....

Is it by accident that I attended the Premier Law School (Lagos Campus) and that I am of the Premier Bar (Lagos Branch)?
My only regret is that I did not have the privilege of attending the Premier University (UI).

I graduated from the Greatest University in Africa -University of Benin in December 2004 and that was how my set missed the opportunity of proceeding to the Law School alongside our mates from other Law Faculties in 2004. That one year means a lot in the legal profession. Today, those dudes are our "seniors"!
Eventually, we (my Set) proceeded to the Nigerian Law School in October 2005 (ten months after graduation) due to no fault of ours. Lest I forget, I loathed Lagos with a passion and I wanted Abuja at all cost. I was a Port Harcourt boy who was ready to give Abuja a shot but not ready to touch Lagos with a ten foot pole. I chose Abuja (first choice), Lagos, Enugu and Kano as my second, third and fourth choices respectively. 

By a stroke of fate, I was conscripted to Lagos Campus. Although I has already spent some months in Lagos prior to my posting, but I wasn't still ready to have anything to do with Lagos.

Long and short, I got Lagos and I proceeded to the Victoria Island campus. Was I excited about it? Yes, I was! I was going to be a "VI resident" for the next one (1) year! The same VI I had dreamt of "visiting" over the years. 

Long before I got posted to Lagos, God had revealed my room number to me (a gist for another day) but I did not pay attention, even though I wrote it down at the back of my Bible and it is there till date. Lagos Campus at the time did not have enough accommodation, so it established a tradition of balloting for space. It was a yes or no affair. I struck a deal with a friend on day one. If he picked a yes, I would squat. If I picked a yes, vice versa. The so much anticipated/touted balloting event came and lo and behold, yours faithfully picked a capital "NO". My friend -Mr A honoured his own side of the deal and that was how I moved into the hostel (as a squatter who later had a full room to himself). The room number was 215, second floor and next to the staircase.

Room 215 was a miniature Nigeria. We had Igbos, Efik, Ibibios, Kwale and Yoruba. We had more of squatters than the legitimate 4 legal occupants but who cares, all animals were equal and none dared walk on two legs. It was one big family. Much fun we had thereat! We had all sorts of character in that room.

Shall I start with the sane ones? Anyi and Zim were two friends from the Eastern part of the nation. They had come a long way as friends from school and had come to Lagos with only one aim -to study for and pass their Bar Part 2 Finals. They were never distracted. Little wonder, they passed.

We had another "queer" character -"Barrister Charles". He attended the same school as Anyi and Zim and out of their magnanimity, they squatted him throughout the programme. He was quiet, easygoing and studious. He also did well.

There was Nnam, I think he graduated from one of the State Universities in Lagos. He was friendly. Little was known about him. From the little I was able to gather about him, he was a trader who had against all odds proceeded to the University to study Law and he was determined to get called to the prestigious Bar. Our friend tried hard to settle down and study hard for that "spiritual" examination, however, the pressure from his shop was just unbearable for him. He had cause to jet down to Alaba almost every week. He was forever distracted. I'm sure he is doing well today. Great guy!

We had this Pastor from one of the South-South Universities. From day one, we "gelled" (got along well) because I had just given my life to Christ and he was glad to learn that there was another Christian in that "contaminated" room.

 Together, we gathered the "saints" and started having morning devotions close to the cafeteria downstairs. He was one of the Coordinators of our prayer club until he started spending more time ruminating over the sights and sounds of the waging of backsides of the Daughters of Eve than he spent reading the warnings of Apostle Paul. He elected to follow Carol. But he is only human! By the time we resumed for second term, he was already "in the world". Poor guy. I hope he was eventually able to retrace his steps to his Saviour.

Then there was my friend -Frankie! Great guy. He was the king of lewdness. He represented everything obscene in Room 215. It was so bad that few weeks before Bar Finals, every occupant of that room but Frankie gathered to have a secret prayer session and the prayer point was "deliverance from the spirit of obscenity and profanity". It was so bad that 90% of the words that proceeded out of his mouth had to do with obscenity. There was a time he travelled to his State. He called me from Ore to inform me that he had a big gift for me. I looked forward to that big moment.

 By the time he got back to the hostel, he opened his bag, lo and behold, he had nude pictures of 3 female and 2 male alleged thieves who were caught, stripped naked and beaten up in Calabar. He actually paid for those pictures and brought them to Lagos to share with his room mates. Did you know that he was in his late 40s at the time? Great dude! I saw him last in 2007 when I paid him a visit in Ilorin, his then place of Primary Assignment.

The most interesting character was my own dear Mr A! Smooth guy! He is a likeable dude. He knew everyone and everyone knew him. He was generous to a fault. There was nothing he ever owned that he could not part with. He was even willing to part with the ones entrusted to his care. Such a nice dude. He is human after all, so you do not expect him to be perfect. We shared great moments together. 

On one sunny afternoon whilst we were all gisting in the room, my guy who had stepped out of the room like 30 minutes earlier resurfaced and our room was full under two (2) minutes. There was jubilation all over the corridor. He was shouting on top of his voice and jumping up "I've made it! I've arrived. My car has arrived! The dealer just delivered my RAV 4." I had no reason to either believe or disbelieve him. We were friends and we were close. He had never told me about that particular car even though he had told me about other cars which I never had the privilege of seeing. 

Some of our friends accompanied him to the car park to view "his new" car and they joined him in the "test driving" exercise. They drove to an unknown location and only came back after 30 minutes or thereabouts. Unknown to us, the cousin who owned the car and another guy who accompanied her to visit him were somewhere waiting for her car endlessly. The moment he returned with their car, the guy who drove the car under reference slapped my dear friend before our friends and almost created a scene at the car park but some friends saved the day. 

He even informed some that his father was a Commissioner and his mother a Judge. Needless lies. All the lies got "busted"! My friend was a character. He's doing great today and I'm indeed happy for him. We are all grown today after all. Innit?

How could I have left out "Faculty Officer"! He spent close to 10 years at UniUyo and he was quite notorious thereat. Rumours were rife that he was a DSS officer but I am of the view that he is just am impostor. He paraded himself as an Admission Officer and preyed on unsuspecting admission seekers. He came to Law School with his wig and gown! 

By the time he proceeded to the Law School, he still had so many "carry-overs" hanging around his little neck. He was never a student of the Nigerian Law School. The last time I saw him robed at the Federal High Court, Lagos before Archibong, J (as he then was) I gave him a subtle warning. I knew that he hadn't been called at the time and he was actually parading himself as a "Legal Practitioner". He left the court and never came back. 

What a character.

A great room, we had. Two of my great Brothers from Room 215 -Anyi (King of Cape Town) and "Barrister Charles" (the name is not complete without that "title") honoured me with their presence at my Traditional Wedding in Ihiala, Anambra State in 2008 and I'm still in touch with some of those great dudes.

Thank God we all made it. Nostalgia.

Stay safe..
I am Kunle.

WOW This writeup brought back of UNIBEN and How i found a brother from another Mama in you Doctor Freak........Miss so many of my old friends, some doing really good and some nowhere to be found..
It is well....


  1. This write up brought back so many beautiful memories. I don’t get why some people have to lie just to show their mates they are a big deal.

  2. Made me remember hostel days. I loved staying in the hostel, hall2 wΓ s my favourite. You get to meet nice people and make lifelong friends

    1. I stayed in hall 2 as well,I think block E or so .Uniben hostel was so fun mehn.

      I missed the days especially while passing the guys hostel.I later packed to Osasogie till my graduation πŸŽ“.

  3. The write up brought back so many fond memories of my time at the Nigerian law school, Kano campus. To God be all the glory.

  4. I am liking this column...keep it up Kunle....πŸ‘πŸ‘

  5. Nice one. Those your roommates are real characters. I'm almost sure there was no dull moment in that room.

  6. Replies
    1. So you be lawyer!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    2. You didn't see the part that I said I got all those info from a lawyer friend bah..
      Some people sefπŸ˜’

  7. Greatest UNIBEN Students!!!!

  8. How I wish I would see my secondary school mates...


    I guess that your friend will still be parading himself as a lawyer now.

  9. I laughed really hard. Thank you for this beautiful article.

    I attended a private University in osun state. I once had hostel mates that went clubbing at ibadan almost every weekend. It was a big deal cos we weren't allowed to go out of school without exeat which was given only once per month, if you needed it. These girls then would disguise as women we called, 'Iya foso' or 'Iya ponmi'. These were women that came in from town to wash students' clothes or fetch water for them for a fee. Clearly, the dressing of those women differed from the dressing of students. I think they also had friends amongst those women and would walk with them as they exited the school gate. They probably bribed some of the security men also. I marvelled at the risk they took just to have fun. If they were caught, they could have been expelled.

    1. Nawao,all these in the name to club.Some girls sef

    2. Haha... this is so "Bowen University"

  10. Snr. Colleague Kunle, I see you πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ

  11. I'm so happy to be reading something like this, especially since I'm a lawyer. Stella, I even wanted to introduce this type of chronicles to you titled university chronicles. But I guess Dr freak has beat me to it


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