Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Tuesday, May 11, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm!










STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
LAZY HUSBAND


My husband is lazy is a civil servant and so he doesn't bring much. I told him to get another job like in private cos he had plenty experience in that sector b4 d company closed down. 

I work and have 2 side hustles. I bring like 70% of our expenses. I'm tired because he only gives us like one quarter of his salary Saying he's in debt and he's always in debt cos he collects everything on credit .


I think he should also have a side hustle. Imagine that they didn't work for over a year during Covid and yet he was paid yet no difference. No online business. Yet i sold more during Covid. Then he complains of food i give him with my money.

 I buy all my children provisions, pay most of the fees, yet he tells his mom and aunties that i talk to him anyhow cos he doesn't have money and those ones insult their heads. Yet i do most things for him. I'm even facing my children now. He dresses well and keeps collecting on credit. 

I regret not marrying an igbo man . He's from South South. 

Please i need advice:




Hmmm. you actually sound like you talk to him anyhow from reading you.
Dont people discuss finances before they get married? how can a man be married and let his wife bear so much responsibility and its OK for him? why not split the bills equally? I dont get it.
Please face your kids since you can afford it and let him be.. Do what you can and leave the rest
 

72 comments:

  1. He’s more concerned with dressing to kill ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฟ‍♀️ yet, can’t do much for his family. He deserves being talked down on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry o, I had to laugh
      I just imagined them tearing his shirt in public because of too much credit ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

      My dear, just face your kids, and please do not take in again.
      His family members are his enablers.

      Delete
  2. Who said there are no irresponsible igbo men? My friends mom took care of their fees right from secondary school,plus feeding and clothing. Not to talk of rent and other expenses. The dad will be chopping his money secretly and they are igbos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 15:08, Poster knows that Igbo men make responsible husbands and fathers.

      Your friend's dad is a rare case.

      Delete
    2. Big lie anon 15.46 don’t use a few as a yardstick for all.

      Delete
    3. I laugh in Spanish. Responsibility is not about tribe, I know a lot of irresponsible Igbo men.

      Delete
    4. I've never seen an Igbo man that is irresponsible

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    5. 90% of Igbo men work for their family to he comfortable.

      Delete
    6. Igbo men on the average are hardworking. Personally, I repeat PERSONALLY I have never met a lazy igbo man

      Delete
  3. I hate lazy men like that.

    I have a friend and her husband is working and earning 30k monthly without any side hustle, the wife is working and earning 20k and she's a caterer, she can hustle with her life and they have 3 kids already.

    It's very very frustrating and with the situation of things, I think my friend is already having a man friend according to our last discussion, she's just saying it indirectly but I begged her never to tow that line.

    Madam, just do anything you can do and face your kids, but don't have more kids again, the Lord is your strength .




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 3 kids with N50k combined income? How do people think in this country?

      Delete
    2. Those ones are really suffering. I earn over 400k, my husband does like 200k minimum and e no dey reach, kids never come o. We are setting up side hustle seriously.

      Delete
    3. Trust me she is already sleeping with the man friend for money, that 50k can not do anything

      Delete
    4. 50k income with 3 kids, even if na village una dey live, life will be difficult. make them sha no born another again abeg.

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    5. Haaaaaa a family of 5 on 50k salary, of which they will still take loans o......God have mercy

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    6. It's very difficult to keep being in love with an irresponsible man...the love will just disappear.

      Especially those that can do a side hustle but just refuse to.

      Delete
  4. Don't know why SOME of our south south brothers embarrass us like this. Majority of them watched their mothers hustle to take care of them while their fathers were misbehaving hence they grow up thinking their wives should be like their mothers. If they don't have oil company work, they refuse to see the need to hustle in other sectors. Abi am I the only one who has observed this trend? BTW I'm from the south south so this is not a tribalistic rant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na true, very useless lifestyle

      Delete
    2. My dear, you are very correct oo, no be only you, I have a personal experience too.

      Delete
    3. God bless you anon 15:12

      Delete
    4. My sister the worst part is their mothers and sister will even want to kill you when u complain. Like one idiot ex sister in law to my elder sister said what is wrong with it if my sister pick the house bill after all my sister did even carrying their abroad buying the idiot Mercedes paying for his school and driving license. E too many
      The siter said nothing is wrong if my sister continue to take care of the boy and his family. She said she has friend friend that has being doing it for 18yrs without complaining. If the money too small wey the yahoo boy eseosa and his family eat from my sister is upto 20 million naira. All her saves was on this stupid family. We were not aware, she didnt tell us until we got to know it was too late. My prayer for them is their girls will be the one paying house Bill's for their husband. The idiot even dupe us. The thing be like juju

      Delete
  5. Some people are termed lazy because they don't know what to do at the moment. With a little push. You will be surprised how high they can go.
    Maybe you should bring him in to one of your side hustles
    Stop carrying the load alone. Teach him how to fish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dont ever try this poster. Else na gucci levels he go enter

      Delete
  6. He knows what he's doing, he knows that you have to give that why the little he's getting he's using it for clothes,stop insulting him, stop giving birth, use your money and take care of yourself nd your kids

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  7. Madam face your kids and don't have more kids.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Muru anya ka azu11 May 2021 at 15:36

    Able bodied men should lead and head their homes. Unless when sick the woman can step up. Our primary assignment is to birth babies and keep the home running with resources from our husbands. If he cannot do his primary assignment which is to provide and protect, how does he expect respect? Stop overburdening your women lazy men!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is well

      When men are badly brought up this is the entitled dirty result

      Delete
  9. You clearly resent your husband ...stop nagging him and continue to face your hustle and kids ..in Nigeria, you die in marriage, happy or sad...nothing more to add, bear your cross...sorry

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  10. Which Igbo men are you referring to? Because mine is worse than yours and doesn't contribute at all. Once his siblings give him money for buisness na outside get am ooo...my dear I don tire..once I decided I was not interested na begging ooo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have time to waste. i go don comot that marriage tey tey.

      Delete
  11. His mom and aunties should foot the bills for your feeding to ensure he eats to his satisfaction INSTEAD of insulting you. They are the ones that raised a lazy son.

    Poster, be sure not to have other children. Some men do not think twice about leaving the responsibility of raising their children to their wives.

    ReplyDelete
  12. What has South - South got to do with your problems. I am from the South-South and I take care of my wife and kids. There are irresponsible married Igbo men every where. It is obvious you have no control over your mouth and you talk recklessly, you disrespect your husband. How does working in the civil service make anybody lazy. I was in the civil service, it didn't stop me from giving my kids and wife the very best within limits of my capacity. You girls create unnecessary problems for yourselves and come here ranting like lunatics. It is a given that once you start shouldering the responsibility of your matrimonial home, most Nigerian will abandon their responsibilities. Most Nigerian men lack the ability to appreciate the good their wives do for them. It is always better to allow the men sweat and take care of their homes regardless how much they earn . Where he fails to provide, take care of your kids and your self . Some of go as far as paying rent , for what. You over pamper their silly asses and start complaining and condemning all men because of your experience. I am saying don't help from time to time if you have the resources. You can only help a man who is providing for his family, paying fees and rent . A man who is appreciative. Definitely not an idiot who drops a quarter of his salary and spend the rest on himself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The fact is that South - South men are very lazy, leave long story, besides how do we know that you actually provide for your wife and kids like you just claimed,Are we leaving with you, After all you south-south guys are also special liars too.

      Delete
    2. You didn't see that he brings home only a quarter?. You didn't see that he spends his cash on clothes?. The man is irresponsible abeg. He no try tara. Nothing to appreciate. It doesn't mean poster is polite. It's clear they're both harbouring issues that needs a therapist

      Delete
    3. Dude I'm a man and what she meant was รฌgbo men are not always content especially when they earn less and always work hard to earn more by venturing into business to earn more, I'm a medical dr. And I still do side hustle so my family won't feel the economy and also save too. For her to bring this here I feel she is and รฌgbo woman who knows
      the รฌgbo's way of life and probably would have exhausted other avenue trying to make her husband see the need to do more or add other streams of income to what he already has via side hustle but the husband just feels he is okay with what he does and doesn't really care so long as the wife is there. And I agree with her most รฌgbo men work hard to earn more .... Like me!

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    4. Biko south south people are not only lazy, they are womanizers and proud that’s why they feel you cannot talk down on them but any opportunity they get to disrespect you, they use it without thinking. A woman is not mad, she cannot rant unless she has had enough just like the poster. How can someone carry all that weight and not complain Haba@Augustus you sef think am

      Delete
    5. South south men are LAAAZY!!! Admit it,Augustus Aikomo! Most of them yeye, they leave the women to shoulder responsibilities that they should carry themselves. Anyway, I blame any woman that takes up a man's role in the house.
      You are on your own. Just don't start what you can't finish.

      Delete
    6. 29. There are womanisers in every ethnic nationalities. There are no saints anywhere

      17:16 There are millions of Igbo men who are not taking care of there responsibilities. No level of sugar coating can cover it. Hustling to earn an additional income to care for our families is not exclusive to the Igbos

      17:10 Did you react to my comment or your imagination.

      17:03 maybe the men who fuck you are liars. I don't have any reason to lie. The fact your father failed you doesn't mean I will do same. My father provided for his ten children and wife. The least educated have a masters. Even after he retired he was still shouldering his responsibilities. Like my father and grandfather , I am taking care of my family. My family comes first regardless of the circumstances I find myself. I don't have to prove anything to you .:



      Delete
    7. E pain am๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
  13. In my opinion, I think she is actually exaggerating the situation. The husband maybe trying the best he can and she refuses to see it because she earns more and things are not the way she expected it to be. She feels if she had an Igbo man, there would have been a lot difference in her lifestyle. I say this because my sister has the same story to say about her husband. I believed her when I was In another city, when I moved to Lagos and stayed with her for a while, I realized the problem was her. Her over expectations and disrespect towards her husband was just too much. She kept saying if she had married an Igbo man, things would have been great.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you know how things were before she got to that level where she vents without control judge Judy?

      Delete
    2. Good man is not tribe base.......it is upbringing and how a man trained himself!

      Delete
  14. Boys needs to be trained to be am man like they focus on the girl child too.

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    Replies
    1. I agree, some mother and sister are the evil one when u complain to them about the idiot son they raise they will cause their head not the woman head.

      Delete
  15. This is so sad. Why not talk to him and let him know how you feel. God will come through for you both. Please stop having more kids, it is well.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Husband and wife palava all the time and i am knackered

    ReplyDelete
  17. It not about tribe o..it personality and ofcuz upbringing, some men will never even borrow from their wife talkless of allowing her foot the bills and you will see opposite men in the same lineage and community...
    Na make God help person to marriage, stella respect is earned o, I understand her rudeness because if he was pampering her or supporting her am sure she will be talking to him like a king,and it so sad that even though one discuss with a man about finances doesn't mean he will stick to it in marriage. I swear every woman's reward is in heaven.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hear you!

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    2. Even brothers with different characters.

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    3. Madam, not very true! Some of us earn 7-figures monthly, provide for ALL expenses at home despite our wives working but we are still talked to anyhow most times. We don't eat what we want to eat at home but forced to eat what the wife prepares. We request to employ cooks and housekeepers but "Madams" say they don't want anyone preparing their husbands food or hanging around the house. We don't keep late nights or misbehave like most men who don't provide for their families. We have collectively decided to just smile when the wives start nagging or being disrespectful. It has pushed some of my friends to keeping coded mistresses - single mums (50 - 55yrs) with good (8am - 5pm) jobs and working kids (22 - 26yrs) who just want the company (and once a week love-making) of responsible and matured men (50 - 60yrs). The single mums "worship" my friends - varieties of good food, wine and peaceful company. With that everybody (single mum, wife and husband) is happy. Some senseless wives should continue taking their good husbands for granted - they will just be smiling and overlooking your misbehaviours cos someone is giving them peace - no quarrel or divorce.

      Delete
  18. Na because you give am food chop and he belleful join

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  19. Dear poster, at this point he might not change u have tried, ask God for wisdom and knowledge to make more money, and patience to handle ur marriage. Don't regret not marrying an igbo man, not all igbo men are the way u think they are, my father was a good man but very lazy, my mum bore 100% of the burden, and she prayed we don't marry a man like our dad in the financial aspect, my dad was loving peaceful and very kind, but his problem is he was not industrious, when he lost his work, he refused to work again and stayed at home till he died. So not all igbo men are the way u think. Just look for genuine ways to make more money so that you will not feel the impact. Goodluck dear, I understand ur pains.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If not that your dad is dead, I would have said we came from the same family.

      Delete
  20. It is sheer wickedness to meet a man set in his ways and expect him to change. You saw it before you married him but you still went ahead. I'm sure as a miracle worker that you are, you thought you'll change him. How far? Have you changed him. No. And you can't! You never will. If you like nag from now till Jesus returns, that man will continue to live his life the way he wants.

    Did you see him having a side hustle when you guys were dating? So why should you expect him to do that now? I always tell people to take would be spouses at face value. Don't expect change! Whatever he/she is doing now will definitely continue or even get worse.

    Reminds me of yesterday's chronicle that saw a Yaba left escapee and still took him for introduction. Tomorrow she'll write another chronicle on how the man wants to kill her. But na she dey complain now.

    Carry your cross. Hustle and care for your kids. Take the little he gives you and add it to your own and continue running the family. I won't kuku advise you to leave. Stay there. It may surprise you to know that that's one of the reasons he married you. He felt and feels you are a hustler. So you will conveniently carry the family with little or no contributions from him while he grooves to his fill.

    Best you can do is to start the side hustle for him and monitor it with him. Try you hear? It is well with you.

    Singles make una shine una eye ooo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank u jare.. he was not an hussling guy nd he had this same job with no ambition nd unmarried him, so how do u want him to change because he is married or have kids? I blame u poster cos marriage doesn’t change people, in relationships u can know a man who hussles and the one who doesn’t, so carry your cross, it’s not in his blood to hussle no vex u chose him

      Delete
    2. You are a wise person.

      Delete
  21. My husband is from South South and he takes good care of me and the children even my family members, he send money to my mum every month.
    I earn 120k, he still would not allow me fuel my car.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless your husband and your home. Amen.

      Delete
  22. I am from south south and married to an igbo man, but I bring like 80% of our family expenses. I don't nag my husband. He makes more sometimes but uses his money in building project back home. Houses that his siblings are already occupying and controlling. And his sisters demands money from him like crazy even when they are doing well themselves. So been irresponsible is not about tribe. Long annoying story but let me rest it here.

    ReplyDelete
  23. The Poster's insult of South-south men is unfair.

    She said nothing about how her husband treats her as a person.

    I know a South-south man who provides for his family. Yet the woman was about to start an extra marital affair - the midnight chats with the man had started.

    When a woman is not satisfied with a peculiar need in her marriage, she presents the man as a failure no matter how good he is in other aspects of the marriage. So unfair.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Poster, so sorry for what you are going through. I am from the south south and truthfully, our men lazy die always depending on women to take care of the house. It is either the are looking for free money from politicians or oil jobs. I have never seen an irresponsible igbo man, they are family oriented

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are obviously describing men from your ethnic nationality. There are diverse ethnic nationalities in the south-south. I guess your father abandoned all responsibilities to your mother and you think this gives you enough reasons to make generations

      Delete
  25. follow ur heart nd men re men tribe doesn't matter

    ReplyDelete
  26. Love is sweet but when money enter love is sweeter.
    Whoever says money is not good may the person never have a taste of money.

    You should channel all your energy on your kids. It is very hard for a woman who provides for a family be in Total submission.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please stop the narrative that encourage wives to disrespect husbands simply on basis of providing for their families.

      What about women who are not submissive to providing husbands. Didn't you read the experience of Anon @ 17.18?

      Why do most Nigerian women feel bad and lament loudly whenever they contribute financially to the upkeep of their marital homes.

      Is there any Law that wives are not to provide for their families if they can afford to do so.

      A woman's work always become cumbersome simply because her children and husband eats from her income. The same work is lighter when she keeps all her income to herself. Meanwhile, the husband feeds her and her children, even if the husband earns lesser than her.

      Please what does the poster want to do with income from 3 sources? Is it not for her family? Does that exclude her husband. God knows her husband's limits hence the blessings on the works of her hands.

      And before you think otherwise, I provide for my family.

      Delete
  27. I have seen an igbo man thats stingy to his wife, rapes his wife, beats her and bring woman to his matrimonial home

    ReplyDelete
  28. Madam you too complain. Haba! If man work, problem. If man no work, better problem.

    You must learn to be content. Not everyone is cut out for business. Since you are business inclined, and if he's willing, you can teach him how to do business. Don't push him to seek other illegal means to make money.

    And not all Igbo men are industrious. People also have this impression that the Igbos can do anything (legal and illegal) to make money.

    ReplyDelete

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