LIVING WITH A PSYCOPATH
Dear Stella,
Please I'm in a delicate situation, don't judge me harshly.
And forgive my long epistle please.
I met this guy about 3 years ago. We were so much in love. Our goals aligned. It was as if we had same mind. When we were together nothing else mattered. But we were age mates and i raised this concern then, he dismissed it saying he was more than ready to settle down. He even said we were going to get engaged in the following year.
The following year my father died.
I couldn't maintain the flat where we lived ( it was just me and my father that lived there) I moved to a smaller apartment.
That same period, the guy's projects failed and he lost his apartment too. He gradually moved in with me and got a job nearby, more excuse to live in my house. I didn't have a problem accommodating him until he slept with my neighbour. I forgave him immediately. ( its actually a disorder, I don't know how to bear grudge or hold on to pain or hate) but I kept seeing them together and I eventually fell out of love and he also confessed he didn't love me anymore.
The following day, I moved into my new apartment. As at that time, it was a month before the rent would be due at the old place. So the house was all his till it was due.
A month later, I called the landlord informing him that I had moved out. Few days after, this guy was at my door step begging me to help him keep his bags while he squat with someone else, I foolishly accepted. Soon after, he was back in my house and refused to go back, last week while desperately trying to get him to leave, he beat me up again. I have never felt this hopeless. I don't have money to get another apartment. But I'm so scared and I don't know what will become of me.
Please how can I get rid of this guy without involving the police? Because the police will not be able to protect me when he comes back to revenge.
I have changed my lock once and he broke the door.
I have been concealing many things because I don't want anyone mocking me.
Dear Stella,
Please I'm in a delicate situation, don't judge me harshly.
And forgive my long epistle please.
I met this guy about 3 years ago. We were so much in love. Our goals aligned. It was as if we had same mind. When we were together nothing else mattered. But we were age mates and i raised this concern then, he dismissed it saying he was more than ready to settle down. He even said we were going to get engaged in the following year.
The following year my father died.
I couldn't maintain the flat where we lived ( it was just me and my father that lived there) I moved to a smaller apartment.
That same period, the guy's projects failed and he lost his apartment too. He gradually moved in with me and got a job nearby, more excuse to live in my house. I didn't have a problem accommodating him until he slept with my neighbour. I forgave him immediately. ( its actually a disorder, I don't know how to bear grudge or hold on to pain or hate) but I kept seeing them together and I eventually fell out of love and he also confessed he didn't love me anymore.
All the time we spent together we were able to build some kind of friendship, so we agreed, we will just live together until he can afford his own accommodation. He said he wasn't ready for marriage anymore that I should date whoever I wanted and I told him to do the same.
I met a man and went out with him one certain time, when I returned, this guy beat me black and blue (the first time) calling me a prostitute.
This is someone I have nothing with, he has girlfriends all over the place and we hardly speak to each other
The following morning, as soon as he left for work, I called up an agent. I was able to pay for another apartment that day. I just wanted to secretly move out. But before I could finish furbishing the apartment, I had already forgiven him. So he got to know about the apartment. Since I had already forgiven him, I wasn't in a rush to move out anymore.
I met a man and went out with him one certain time, when I returned, this guy beat me black and blue (the first time) calling me a prostitute.
This is someone I have nothing with, he has girlfriends all over the place and we hardly speak to each other
The following morning, as soon as he left for work, I called up an agent. I was able to pay for another apartment that day. I just wanted to secretly move out. But before I could finish furbishing the apartment, I had already forgiven him. So he got to know about the apartment. Since I had already forgiven him, I wasn't in a rush to move out anymore.
After few months he hit me again (the second time) for the same reason and almost killed me this time. He said he was going to kill me and kill himself. I didn't bother to struggle with him because each effort I put to fight back landed me extra punches, so I just lay on the floor, silently taking his blows.
I didn't scream for help for I knew I was going to be condemned for accommodating a him in the first place. That day I stripped and offered him s*x just to save myself.
I wanted him to believe I would forgive him. My plan was to kill him while he slept and kill myself as well. He had abused me way more than I could take, I couldn't bear the shame. When I lay on the bed thinking best way to carry out my plan, my eyes caught my late father's portrait on the wall. He was and still the greatest love of my life. I remembered all his struggles just to keep me alive when my mother died right after my birth. My father was always so proud of me and believed I would do great in life. He didn't deserve that I ended my life that way. So I gave up on the plan and moved out instead.
The following day, I moved into my new apartment. As at that time, it was a month before the rent would be due at the old place. So the house was all his till it was due.
A month later, I called the landlord informing him that I had moved out. Few days after, this guy was at my door step begging me to help him keep his bags while he squat with someone else, I foolishly accepted. Soon after, he was back in my house and refused to go back, last week while desperately trying to get him to leave, he beat me up again. I have never felt this hopeless. I don't have money to get another apartment. But I'm so scared and I don't know what will become of me.
He is so obsessed with me and he is driving me crazy. I need to move on with my life and probably find a good husband and have my kids but this guy is bent on destroying me. I have no one to run to. The family I have now are those that doesn't even know my name.
Please how can I get rid of this guy without involving the police? Because the police will not be able to protect me when he comes back to revenge.
I have changed my lock once and he broke the door.
I have been concealing many things because I don't want anyone mocking me.
*You are concealing things because you dont want anyone mocking you? Are you for real? He will kill you and no one will care.
Babe you have suffered enough and you have three options.
- Report him to the Police.
-Report him to the Police and move.
- Look for money and move... move move move or change town.
That your forgiving nature is about to get you killed.. if you do not like what is going on the make a move before he does.....
Ikwakwakwa.
ReplyDeleteIkwakwakwa again.
Omo
Nne, get someone who can stand up for you. I had many of such people in my life as a single woman. It could be your boss, a big man you know that cares for you, a relative, your pastor or his wife...any one who can look him in the face and kick him out for good. You changed your lock and he broke it?! What rubbish! He is dangerous. He might even arrange rubbery for you. Talk to the agent to terminate that rent. Talk to your boss in the office and see what help hedge can offer.
DeleteEiyah, I understand your weakness. This was the reason I rather rented a sub-let with a family and told people I lived with my uncle when I was single. Girl, you are not safe o. You need to do something beyond chronicle writing.
You need somewhere to go hide first.
Poster, Have you seen that Post where the interviewer assaulted the interviewee for setting fire on a little girl?
DeleteMy dear e be like say slap dey hungry you abi na die dey hungry you?
Don't you have family, friends or colleagues that can stand by you?
Which state are you in let me give you the FIDA people number to help you out.
That's how a stupid guy will kill you and take over the apartment you paid for.
You will get to ghostland and your father will slap you join for being stupid.
Speak out now.
Mention his name let's threaten him on social media to get his hands off you.
What rubbish is this?
If you don't toughen up, this guy will kill you! He is taking advantage of your weakness - forgiving easily. Even if you move out, he will stalk you and snake his way into your life again and continue to abuse you.
DeleteBabe, wake up! Don't disappoint your father!
Report him to the police with proofs of ownership of residence and frequent abuse. Don't be ashame to cry out to your neighbours so that they can collectively protect you from him. You will be surprised that your neighbours are aware of the abuse but waiting for you to ask for help!
Do something before you become another statistics!
Poster I am SCARED for you honestly
DeleteYour life is in 🚸 DANGER
If you can relocate please start
Learn to have strong mind, get Police involved and get a roommate
Rubbish!! Will you get the police involved asap. And they will make him sign undertaking to stay away from you.
DeleteWhat is wrong with you?
DeleteYou even had a great dad so really what is your problem? Did you sign a death wish with the devil?
Please dash him the house and look for a friend to stay with, just leave, disappear.
If your disorder forces you to forgive him, do it from afar, don't tell him where you stay.
I am in shock sef.
I just googled your disorder,I dint find anything like that o, you sure say you well so?
Babe please for your sake call him out on social media (Twitter, FB,IG) and make sure his picture is there, report him in his place of work, get the police involved, that way he knows everyone will come for him if any harm comes to you
DeletePoster don't allow your father's efforts on you to waste Biko . Report this idiot to the police with an evidence like a voice note where he threatening you, pictures of your swollen face e.t.c
DeleteWomen by nature are lovable and caring but some guys nawadays want to destroy this God given nature. Somethings I read here sounds unbelievable. Poster, don't die before your time, there's no way you can't involve the police. He's acting so frustrated, you need to be careful.
DeleteIf you think the police can't help you, look for the address of any barrack in your state, cry to the soldiers, tell them and beg a soldier to do the work of beating him then drag him to the barrack to write that nothing should happen to you. At times our Police dey de stupid.
DeleteUnless you want him to end your life and send you to hell fire. Jesus loves you, btw don't you have a pastor, friends or (f) neighbours that can come stay with you for sometimes? Stop this your mumu o.
Funny enough you have cut off him before, and you still forgave him. You think u have forgiven him now? Even if you relocate to another state, the mumu in you will still give him tour address. I know it type, weak minded, cos you will still take him back after a while, even if police step in, you will beg on his behalf later, no be u again?
ReplyDeleteWhat sort of crappy and cringe worthy chronicle is this? Get the police involved and be free from his stronghold
ReplyDeleteI'm very angry reading this nonsense.
ReplyDeleteArrest that nuisance and make him sign an undertaking that he will never near where you are again. Let other tenants know that he's a thief and anytime they see him near the area, they should shout and get him arrested.
Finally, you're also not normal with your mentality, your self esteem is too low and you have to do something about how you see yourself as well.
*Larry was here*
There are some chronicles I pray not to read on this blog and this up there 👆🏾
ReplyDeleteWetin dey worry you??? Even person wey dey use juju for no go behave like this
She brought it upon herself,She should enjoy the beating until she gives herself brain.Mtchewwww
DeleteDear poster, you have formed an attachment to this guy because you miss your father. Rather than take time to mourn and stand on your own, you believed this guy would make a good replacement for your father. Yes, you were together before your father died. But notice you held on to him because your father's death created a void. This is also why you are still letting him in. You believe you deserve this treatment for some reason. I wonder if you have a victim complex because your mother died giving birth to you and then your father. Someone said something or you thought something that has created this complex and prevents from expressing yourself. This is what you must do now:
Delete1. Get help. As many have advised already, there must be someone who can help. Ask for help from any and everyone. Don't worry about what they will say or think. You know you need help and that's a powerful step
2. Once you get rid of him, make time to know yourself. Don't look for any relationship yet. You must heal, forgive YOURSELF, let yourself cry and scream. Get up and know what you want. Daddy's girls who were not independent before their fathers died have a hard time standing on their own. They become easy targets for abuse. You must make that change now.
3. Understand that only the living see tomorrow. What do you want your tomorrow to be? One with you in it or one without you? Your answer to this question will determine your next step. Whom will you choose? You or him?
4. Take this giant 🤗 (hug). If you choose YOU, you will be okay. YOU don't deserve pain. YOU don't deserve abuse. YOU don't deserve less. YOU are a survivor, not a victim (get rid of that complex). Show God that you are ready to fight for YOU too. He will do his part.
Sense will not kill you, this 👆 is apt.
DeleteWhat's the point advising her when she will forgive him before you even finish typing. I can't stand people that have no self love. If this poster loves herself, will she be this stupid? He was beating you in your house, you got another flat, forgave him, and told him all about it, moved out, and ended up taking him in after the rent at the old place expired. How did he get the address to the new flat? Abeg tell yourself the truth. When you are ready, you'll know what to do.
DeletePoster, i am sorry to say dis but, e be like say u dey craze. Forgiving nature indeed!! See as vex hold me.
ReplyDeleteNo need for curses. This poster is obviously down already. It's annoying but easy
DeleteHmmmmmm, me sef vex oh, ah ha? Na wetin?
DeleteChai....u don't love urself...u don't love urself at all...u better speak out or u will die in silence...just negodu.... mtchewwwwwwwwww
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteDump this time waster and brat/bully for once and do the right things for your life and safety.
There is something ladies don't understand about sex outside of marriage. The two are one; that is what the Scripture, the manual of life says.
So, both are tied spiritually by a diabolic bond which can only be broken in Christ; i.e. one party finds Christ and he lives in you!
Without that, even when you say; "I don't, I won't accommodate or relate with him again" there is always
a way back to him. It is beyond you.
Will you call Jesus in today?
Hian! Chi m ooooo.
DeleteSkips comment. Next!
Delete@22:51
DeleteYou did not skip it. In fact, you read it, absorbed it, digested it
and...you know what is hurting? Your conscience.
He would be in jail already in a sane countryj
ReplyDeleteOkay o
ReplyDeleteKeep "stripping and giving him sex and stay on the ground naked to receive the blows" Instead of fleeing with your life.💀
It will only take one blow to send you to the other side of existence; hell?
I have baskets o 🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺give him the pig's share.
Madam oga basket
DeleteIt will only take one blow to send you to the other side of existence
DeleteWord
Somebody is about to get killed. Block Vees SOS ALERT!!! HELP PLEASE.
ReplyDeleteSo annoyed reading this.. How can you allow this to happen over and over again? what kind of weakness is that? He cheats on you, you housed him, he beat you up after agreeing that you guys can date other people and you offered him your body, you left a house you paid for for him, and you accepted him into your new home over what?
ReplyDeleteIf this guy kill you, its your fault. Who allows a man abuse and manipulate her and still asking for what to do?
Report him to the police, let him sign an undertaken that if anything happen to you, he will be held responsible.
Set him up and call guys to deal with him any tome he tries to abuse you again.
This story just weak me. I no fit type abeg. When I gather strength, I go come back type wetin dey my mind
DeleteShe wont. She doesn't have the balls to. How someone can be this silly is what I'll never understand.
DeletePoster go into heavy fasting plus midnight prayer for supernatural strength and to break this demonic stronghold of self destruction and Stockholm syndrome
DeleteSis!!!!! Ahhhhh. Omo*1000000. I am speechless o. In a house you pay the rent. When you got the new place, were you supposed to even tell him. Ehn. Please, file a police report if possible get a restraining order
ReplyDeleteThis is a really sad one.
ReplyDeletePlease report him to the police and speak out. It's better to be talked about while alive than to loose your life or sanity.
He's treating you this way because he knows you won't voice out.
Throw his things out and report him to the police.
Sad? There's nothing sad here, it's rather annoying. The poster doesn't love herself period and there's nothing anyone can do until she's ready.
DeleteVery annoying chronicle. I'm so angry AF.
DeleteArrrggggg! This chronicle is so annoying. Let me not talk before I will be tagged insensitive. To think you allowed him to even know where you moved to & allowing him drop his bags at your new house. Shey he doesn't have family ni.
ReplyDeleteAnnoying is understatement, that idiot knows her weak point and now using it against her.poster please wakeup and fight your battle by all means. What rubbish!!😒
DeleteVery rubbish something. Some girls eh, tufiakwa.
DeletePoster, nobody will mock you! Don't go and kill yourself because of a wicked nonentity!
ReplyDeleteHow could you allowed yourself to be used like that by an ungrateful abuser.
Please, set yourself free immediately, involve the law enforcement asap and don't look back.
you changed your locks and he broke it you say? Whose name is on the rent receipt? I'm so annoyed. Like WTF.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteYou already made the mistake of letting him know where you live. Call the agent and arrange to sub-let your apartment. Move out of that place as soon as you can.
Would have said report to the police, get a restraining order, send his name to blogs - letting them know he’s threatening your life and should be held responsible if anything happens to you and bla bla bla; but since he threatened to kill you and kill himself, it’d be dangerous to do that. The best plan is to change your location. If you were living in Surulere Lagos, change to Yaba or VI or someplace else.
Going forward, please love yourself. If you love yourself more than anyone else, you won’t tolerate any shitty attitude from anyone.
All the best. Cheers!
Thank you very much...It pains me how people don't love themselves...How they take a truckload of shit before they know something is wrong...God help me as people can't tolerate pain, me can't tolerate nonsense..
DeleteBlogger should leave me alone and stop switching my account. Argh!
DeleteThis is my real account, please.
Poster, follow Chocolate's advice, don't tell the landlord so they won't tag you a single lady with wahala, work with the agent, it will cost you a little money, let him help you get somewhere else and pay with the money he will get from renting out your flat. Tell someone around you or file a police report so that you have a witness and have it documented in a police report. Keep the soft copy of the report and give a copy to the witness.
DeleteThen move to your new flat and block him on all your platforms, see it as Lot's wife, if you look back, you will become a pillar of salt. Also, take it up in prayers, the charm angle is also a possibility, break whatever spiritual bond between you two and work on your psychology and mental health, trust me, these type of relationships take a toll on your psyche.
Your mother died while giving birth to you, your father did all he could to give you a good life, you are the only representative of both of them alive today, learn to love yourself fiercely and put away anybody or situation that threatens your peace of mind. I will advise you keep away from relationships for a while, work on building yourself and when your good man comes (trust me, he is coming), revel in the love and wonderful life you will have with him. Love and light to you.
Run for your life! This man won't have rest until he ends your life.
ReplyDeletePoster, it's well with you
ReplyDeleteSo after all he did in the old flat you still gave him your new address!! You’re madder than him sef. Abeg go and buy your coffin jare
ReplyDeletePlease, how can you let anyone use you like this? Treat you like trash on top your own apartment. Please go to your landlord. Explain to him that you need help. The landlord will warn him directly that he only rented out an apartment to one person not two. Cry out for help. Let the whole street know you are in danger. Tell everyone that if anything happens to you, it's the guy( let him be aware you did this). Then cut him off. Block him everywhere. You need to work on your self esteem. Love yourself first. You don't need a man to love you for now. Love yourself. Read soul lifting books. It is well with you
ReplyDeleteKai this lady, who you be self? Why do you keep on dulling yourself.
ReplyDeleteSeems you don't love your life
I don't even know what made me open this post. These are the kind of things I hate reading. Poster how old are you please? Or were you hypnotized by him? Because this is more than annoying. Haba.
ReplyDeletePoster, the problem is you, your self worth and self esteem is completely dead, look at your self in the mirror again, do you really deserve what you are putting yourself through?, is that what you want?, the person you are now, is that who you really want to be?, ask yourself these questions and make the necessary changes were needed, how did you get to this place that you are?, talk to someone please.
ReplyDeleteWhat is this nonsense I just read🙄🙄🙄.how can someone allow themselves to go thru this shit??
ReplyDeleteThere is this channel I watch regularly called ID, see enn Psycopaths dey oo and this guy fits their MO! I see people especially women die on that programme for less. See ennn, involve law enforcement, more like the Nigerian Army sort. Try and find a connect that can help you. That guy is not normal before he does something more sinister. Goodluck. Plz keep updated.
ReplyDeleteI just had to comment as in like seriously
ReplyDeleteHello dear Poster..
I think what you dread most is being lonely and starting over
Yes! And that's what you are hiding behind the forgiving excuse.
How long you dated or understand each other is not a license to control you,
Your father should be your source of courage to save your life!!
Don't you dare live this kind of life
Common girl!!!
You live once!! And you have to take charge of this life
Nobody knows you! What an excuse. Do you want to be found decaying or worst an invalid!
Now take charge and see this guy as somebody stiffing life out of you.
For your dad
For yourself
Go report at the station
Tell a friend
Inform your landlord.
Trace his family ,Raise dust for them to call him to order
Go on social media if need be.
Don't stop till you feel safe
He sees himself as your air but there is more space out there to breathe
And tell yourself. I won't take him back see him as Death himself
Change line!
Be brave
Cheering you on!!
This poster is already down, make una softly softly
ReplyDeleteDear poster, please note that you are under a spell. Go get deliverance prayers (thoroughly). After that, your eyes and head will be clear. Then you can report to the police without fear. Before you finish the deliverance prayers sef, the guy may run away on his own. He charmed you!
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who married an ogboni man. He placed her under a heavy spell. She was doing so well before (the chief analyst in her company for south-south zone) but immediately she married him, she dropped financially so much that she was begging to even feed. This continued for years until she decided to go for prayers. During that period, the kind of fear this lady had for her husband was something else. The kind of fear a rat would have for a cat. If you even as much as mentioned her husband or referred to him, she'd visibly shiver.
On the day the prayers were being conducted, 2hours into the session, the husband started calling. Calling as if he was about to die. Asking her to leave wherever she was immediately and return home. She was shocked! She asked him what the problem was and he said "come home first". She didn't even return that day. Long story short, the man fell seriously ill, developed a sore that refused to heal and was smelling like a decaying corpse. I don't know what became of them cause I left that city and lost contact. But before I left, she had regained her previous self, was no longer afraid of the man and was doing so well that she started her building.
Poster, please you don't have any forgiveness disorder. You are charmed. Go for prayers and free yourself. In the prayers, command him out of your life forever. Banish all forms of fear with the blood of Jesus. Destroy anything he used to cage you and you'll be free. He'll even leave on his own. But if he drags his feet, report him to the police. That time the fear you have now will no longer be there.
It ia well with you.
Veey correct. You have said it all
DeleteAnother plausible aspect.
Delete👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👍👍😘😘😘
DeleteGbam
Until you realize your life is more important than the fear you feel, you'll keep condoning his excesses and further endangering your life. Think of how he'll get away with either killing or maiming you and report him to the police. While at it, put measures in place to ensure he doesn't get easy access to you again; change your locks to a very strong one, install cameras as proof, a heavy weapon that will immobilize him before help comes, pepper spray....
ReplyDeleteDon't be the next 'Louise' in Behind Her Eyes.
I just had to comment as in like seriously
ReplyDeleteHello dear Poster..
I think what you dread most is being lonely and starting over
Yes! And that's what you are hiding behind the forgiving excuse.
How long you dated or understand each other is not a license to control you,
Your father should be your source of courage to save your life!!
Don't you dare live this kind of life
Common girl!!!
You live once!! And you have to take charge of this life
Nobody knows you! What an excuse. Do you want to be found decaying or worst an invalid!
Now take charge and see this guy as somebody stiffing life out of you.
For your dad
For yourself
Go report at the station
Tell a friend
Inform your landlord.
Trace his family ,Raise dust for them to call him to order
Go on social media if need be.
Don't stop till you feel safe
He sees himself as your air but there is more space out there to breathe
And tell yourself. I won't take him back see him as Death himself
Change line!
Be brave
Cheering you on!!
I feel so sad reading this chronicle. Your late father will be so sad seeing what you have allowed yourself to go through in the hand of a boy. its better to love with one's head not heart
ReplyDeleteWhy do i feel like this guy you're talking about is in Abuja and have been his victim before I borrowed myself some senses.Poster, he is a pest and he will suck you dry and move to the nearest victim. they always keep those side babes just so whenever you are bold enof to kick them out, they can move in with them. He can never change cos he doesn't want to pay exorbitant rent in abuja.
ReplyDeleteIf you're in Abuja, I'll help you fix it. I just hope you're saying the truth. He won't disturb you again. Them no born am well. Except he wants to disappear for good. Stella, I'll like to help this woman if she lives in my town. I have sisters. I can not imagine an animal treating my sister like filth.
ReplyDeleteThat would be really nice of you. Please try.
DeleteStella. Please see this comment
DeletePoster come here and contact this person.
God bless you Ceaser
What is wrong with you?. Love does not cause pain. Your mother died while giving birth to you and you want to die in the hands of a total stranger whose only mission is to kill you and convert all your belongings to his.
ReplyDeleteFor you to write this chronicle means your eyes are open to reality. This guy will kill you and nothing will happen. God will not allow you to die. The spirit of your late parents will not allow him to kill you. Babe you don't need the police. I personally hate police. Go into any army barracks around you and report to one officer. Give them your address and beg them to help you fling his things out of your house. You can also go to any motor park. You will see all these agbero boys that load cars. Speak to one of them. Pay them small money and they will help you teach him a lesson. If he hears your name again. He will develop malaria. Warn them strictly not to kill him.
This life is too short to allow any HUMAN treat you like an animal and have his way. Mbanu.
Hmmm. this story is very troubling. The main issue is that you do not have money. So think, what else do you have?? Do you have friends? Do you have friends that live in another state perhaps? This may be your only chance. You need to talk. God won't come down from heaven to help you. He sends people. Please don't be afraid of people laughing at you. Those who will help, will help. So stop hiding. You may be shocked to find that there are people close to you who are going through worse or have been through worse.
ReplyDeleteMy advice:
Decide that you ill NOT die in his hands. Ask God to help you but by yourself aid your spirit to reject death.
Open your heart and mind to HELP in any and EVERYWAY whether you can see it or not.
Ask for wisdom to know who to speak to.
Find a place to run to NOW. Do not live in that house another minute. Speak to you pastor, church member, police. Involve many. Cowards back down when they see you are not alone. NEVER allow yourself to be alone going forward.
Plan to leave the State if possible. Start looking for a way out. Even if it's money you need, come right out and ask. Don't be afraid or ashamed.
Whatever you seek, you will FIND.
Ase
It is well with you...
Your dad will be turning in his grave.......smh
ReplyDeleteARE YOU OKAY???????????
Serious turning
DeleteShe settled for less..
Get into the army barracks.
ReplyDeleteReport him
Pick him up, let him sign an undertaking not to come anywhere near you. Let them keep him for like 2 days… God be with you…
Poster please run very far away from that guy. I won't judge you but please going forward learn to love yourself first.....stay alive and stay safe for your loved ones.
ReplyDeletePoster, you need to report to the police and they need to make him and his family members sign an undwrtaking not to come near you and that nothing must happen to you. You MUST change your location. Forget about forgiveness in this case, you should focus on self preservation. Do not let your father down, he would have wanted the best for you. Please, please, and please, situations like this usually end badly with either party losing their life or ending up in jail. You have a lot of great things ahead of you. I pray you find strength to fight for your life in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen
ReplyDeleteHow are some people born weak like this. My house, my body, my money and one man born of a woman will come and tell me he's not leaving not like its a partnership.
ReplyDeletePoster please gather all the strength and will power you have and tell him to leave. It's cos he knows you're weak and have no one to speak for you that's making him act up. Ah ah..
Sis abeg go look for soldier. An officer, give him something to pose as ur boyfriend for one month.
ReplyDeleteUr matter don solve be that.
No time.
I no wan abuse you pls, dont make me do.
ReplyDeleteWhere in this country are you? If you are like this many will take advantage of you. I was like you and when I stood up against people who are like this guy, they disappear especially when I harden my heart. Feel no pity for users. Don't even move out. Send him away, use the police if you can and also get in touch with your relatives no matter what.
ReplyDeletePoster, you have Stockholm syndrome so you need help. Both of you need help. Unfortunately you cant do this alone. You need a psychiatrist or at least a trusted older person who you look up to to help you out of this. Please find the help that you need ASAP.
ReplyDeleteI can relate cos I'm an orphan like you. I used to be so weak in relationships and feel a man was all i needed to be happy cos I always felt I will be lonely without a man. I shared all i have with boyfriends and they kept taking advantage and treating me badly to the point that my last boyfriend told me I have too much love for one man that I should go and open an orphanage. I cried my eyes out and decided to love myself, i got closer to God and accepted His love knowing he's the father of the orphan and the only one that could love me unconditionally.
ReplyDeleteSince i realised that I am doing better in life, i have enough money and time for myself and don't have to share with ingrates, I help the people that actually need help with no strings. I've been celibate for 6years now and it still amazes me that i can actually do without men, enjoy my own company and other aspects of life.
If you're in lagos or don't mind relocating you can come and live with me until you wean yourself off that abuser and discover yourself. I have a big house and accommodate stranded ladies until the get back on their feet.
Show your interest in the comments section and we'll take it from there
God bless you dear and grant you a harvest of a bigger and better family that the blood family you don’t have. Dear Poster, see how many total strangers have opened their hearts and offered help to you (a total stranger) on this blog.
DeleteStrangers love you, learn to love yourself and stop depending on men, I’m in tears writing this, please, be strong in this life, don’t throw your life away because you aren’t strong enough to deal with some issues.
God bless your kindness, God bless you.
DeleteShe didn’t comment. Can you imagine. I don’t think this lady is ready. At least she should comment to appreciate your help even if she doesn’t want to move in or relocate to Lagos. Poster take up this opportunity. If not then you’re on your own.
DeleteIf only young ones would listen. Fornication is not love. It may look like it and sound like it, but it is a mirage, a counterfeit of the devil. Same person who was once lovey-dovey, goals aligned, same mind and all, turns into a toxic monster. Sexual love is the weakest form of love, it crashes like dust in the face of the smallest challenge. Draw close to God, and don't let the devil deceive you and fill your life with fear and shame. He comes to kill, to steal and to destroy.
ReplyDeletePls also endeavor to use God's wonderful gift of common sense. Be kind, but be smart. Don't be 'overkind' to a guy you are just dating. Don't be sharing your body, your money, your home. That is foolishness. Also don't be collecting. Men like these prey on naive girls. Trust me, there are babes he can NEVER try this with. They sniff out girls like you to do this to. That's why you must carefully screen a guy before dating him. Don't just fall in love, ask serious questions, and don't be giving 'pick me' answers to his own questions. Don't be letting them know you have no covering - no father no Uncle who cares for you plus no strong mind. That may be what drew him to you - he feels no one would come for you. He saw fear, naivety, over kindness, meekness, excess forgiveness etc. That is jackpot for a user and abuser.
But no worry poster, God is father of the fatherless and defender of the widows. Go to the police and get this documented immediately. Even if you are afraid, don't show it to him anymore. People like him thrive on fear. You made the mistake of letting him know your new apartment!!! But pls don't kill yourself anything, for who naa? Start praying seriously and watch him forget you. But after this abeg, remain single for a while.
👌👌
DeleteArrange soldiers to help you settle your family dispute but who will help you reset your brain?
ReplyDeleteNo be so you go dey do for all your relationships and friendships?
Poster i honestly feel so sorry for you because you are in danger, this guy will just kill you because he knows you have no-one to run to, please get the police involved fast and move on with your life.
ReplyDeletePlease, I posted earlier on and I think I was too harsh.
ReplyDeleteI know you are afraid.
I know you don't trust the police to protect you.
But please, report this to the police immediately.
Talk to people and mention his name.
Allow him to be confronted so he can leave you alone for good.
Let him be called out so that there won't be another victim even after you.
Please.
You are valued.
You are loved.
Your life is precious.
Don't allow an idiot take it away from you.
Please.
If possible sef poster, begin a twitter thread and call him out with his name and picture. His other victims may even come forward. Forget, he no get liver, his only liver is your fear. Same with that Ini's killer. They know that women live in fear of men and use it. But don't underestimate the power of social media. Call him out, let it go viral and he won't try any rubbish.
DeleteDear Poster, you are special, valued and worthy of love. You are more than enough. That bully is feeding on your fear. Your father saw you as his princess, don't let a mad pig use you like trash. Yes we know, he wasn't like this in the beginning but even the devil was in heaven's choir before.
ReplyDeleteActionable steps.
1. Quietly find an alternative accommodation. Even if it is to squat. I know changing jobs can be hard but if the oloshi tracks you there he won't be able to harm you with people around and close your mouth when you find the alternative. Don't blab it to him.
2. File a police report so that in future if the oloriburuku wants to try himself, you have it on record that he is threatening you.
3. get an army guy or any other guy (fit be one buff security guy sef or a correct neighbour) to hang around you and help you move, if you can't do it when he is away. The coward will want to fight for his free meal ticket and the presence of another guy will scare him. Bullies are only tough in private, let him flex muscle when another guy is around.
4. Mentally and Spiritually heal. Allow yourself to mourn your mum and dad. God never forsakes orphans. Every day tell yourself , you are the precious apple of God's eye and more than enough. Forgive yourself for tolerating his crap and part of that forgiveness means loving yourself enough to run.
5. Run sis, run far mentally and physically remove yourself from this evil. You don't owe him Jack. any thing he thinks you owe him you have more than paid in full. This is permission for you to move on. Thank God you are not married to him or have a child for him. The clear mind that you had to send this chronicle is a sign that you know it is time to run. Dont let him back in your house or near you.Total cut off.
Rooting for you and praying for you. Hugs.
Are u sure this guy is not using jazz for u?
ReplyDeleteGod I’m so angry.
ReplyDeletePlease can you share the guys contact with me let me greet him. He feels you have no one , let me clear his doubts
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteForgive easily aka extremely low self esteem. You should see a therapist ASAP to help you through your trauma/ dealing with the death of your parents. Please don’t be in a relationship right now I beg of you. The next man will take advantage of your vulnerability again and the disrespect will come again and the vicious cycle continues. A man or human being will respect you when you first respect yourself. Your not in a good place at alll. If you can explain to the landlord your current situation, th en talk to him so you can get your money back and secretly move away, change your number and change your location. Block him every where on social media. You must do this as soon as possible biko. I’m really worried about what that guy will do next. And like everyone said, go to the police ASAP! Also find your extended family please. Your dad side or your moms family. You need as much support as you can. Do you not gave friends at all??? Goodluck
ReplyDeleteThis is so annoying, you don't deserve this treatment at all.
ReplyDeletePlease, wake up! don't be ashamed to cry out to your neighbors before this heartless human will kill you
Poster you are the one encouraging this badly behaved guy.
ReplyDeleteI don't blame the irresponsible guy. Whatever that happens to the babe, na she carry her hand and caused it for herself. Poster, you're foolish indeed. So annoying.
ReplyDelete...Dear poster, I want to say soothing things to you, but right now words fail me. You are an enabler, and it is because of enablers that psychopaths and sociopaths graduate into more dangerous beings.
ReplyDeleteYou will never set them straight with setting boundaries and refusing to be a doormat, neither would you turn them in, when they become a danger to you, themselves or others, and all this is masqueraded as either love or humility. It is not.
What if you had a son? How would you stand firm and raise your children with this disposition?
With all the chronicles here, with all your fathers sacrifice of love, with all your own labour to give yourself a comfortable life, you will throw it all away, and for what?
Don't humour yourself, it is not that you forgive easily or that you are kind, you are weak and very low in healthy self esteem!
This is a major character flaw that can get you killed. The good thing is, you do not have to continue like this, even if you manage to run away from this guy, you will meet another one just like him, because this very nature attracts his kind. Seek help,see a therapist. fix this! Cheers!
Very annoying chronicle. Poster better report him to the police, let him write an undertaking that nothing should happen to you o. Or look for soldiers that will beat him up and warn him to stay far from you, tell your neighbours he is an intruder who shouldn't be allowed into the compound henceforth.
ReplyDeleteStory, the problem is not about helping you to chase the guy out, it's whether you will not go and bring him back in on your own.
ReplyDeletePoster , I am a lawyer and can help you restraining order from this guy and also help get rid of him from your life. You have rights that can be enforced only with your consent.
ReplyDelete