Chronicles Of A Married Man - 26

This is a continuation from last week

I was seriously bothered that maybe Pat had given birth to my child. 

I eventually called her only to find out that she lost the baby. It was quite sad. For someone who had lost a child at birth before, it can be such a devastating experience. She bluntly to told me she had moved on and forgotten about the experience, and that I shouldn’t worry about her.

In the case of P, the lady eventually gave birth to the child while we were at work. So, when we got back, we decided to go see her. We bought lots of stuffs and provisions for her and the baby. She was feeling very happy and announcing to everyone one that the baby daddy had arrived.

Then P dropped the bombshell, “we have to do the DNA test as soon as possible!”, he declared. By my own observation looking at the child, she didn’t remotely look like P. We were told the test can only be done after the child is about a month old.

Back in the days, DNA tests were not readily available and were quite expensive. If Pat had given birth that baby alive, I would have accepted it without asking questions then because the idea of DNA testing wasn’t common. Though I had my doubts that the baby wasn’t mine. But I couldn’t argue. I was already thinking how I was going to break the news to my young wife.

I got to find out due the P’s baby issue that DNA test cost 120k to do it. The cost may be different now. I can imagine what it would have been if he couldn’t afford it. The lady didn’t see the DNA thing coming and could not do anything about it.

I personally had to reassure the lady that she shouldn’t bother; that no matter the outcome of the results, we would support her with the child’s upkeep.

 We returned to work and came back about a month plus later for the test. Having to watch the medical practitioners take blood from a less than two months old child was one of the most horrifying experiences I have ever had. Because they needed a specific quantity of blood to do the test, it was quite heartbreaking watching them trying to take blood from a child whose veins are not yet developed. The chilling cries of the baby was painful to endure.


The results came out negative and all hell broke loss.

 She called me swearing and cursing P that he brought a fake DNA results all because it was photocopied for her. I simply told her to go to any diagnostic center of her choice that I will pay for it if she wishes to conduct the test again. We were angry with her for even taking us through a year’s agony with someone else’s child. She didn’t take my offer till this day. She had been lying all along.


So, the multi-billion-dollar question begging for answer is “why would a man in an altar-bound relationship cheat on his fiancée, knowing there could be consequences?”. The answer I would say is simple “some of us men are plain stupid, pure and simple!”. We do stupid things and give ourselves stupid reasons to justify them.

As for the reasons why a woman will pin another man’s child on someone else. That’s a debate for another day. But one simple underlining factor in most of the paternity fraud cases is that, most women would rather give the child to man who is more likely to accept it and has more capabilities to take care of the child. That’s pure motherly instinct. Albeit, a wicked one.

And if you are wondering why P’s fiancée still agreed to go ahead with the marriage even after she discovered P had sexual relations with another woman while they were planning marriage, I would say don’t judge a person’s decisions and choices based how you perceive things. She has her reasons and its her life and her marriage. But then P begged for forgiveness like his life dependent on it.

As a person, I have done some really stupid stuff. Some of them I still feel bad about. But over the years I have learnt not to live in regret and make the best out of life. But the reality of life is that we are our choices and our mistakes.

The last time i saw P with his wife, I could see the appreciation in his eyes whenever he looks at his wife. Only God knows what would have become of his life if she had called off the marriage only to later discover the child ended up not to be his.

Some of you may want weekly chronicles where I would tell about my perfect and wonderful marriage where I do no wrong and be all holy and everything is “stewy”. But the amazing thing about life in general and marriage in particular is that we are who we are irrespective of where we end up in life or marriage. 

This is my reality. We shall have the good days and the bad days.

The moral lesson for this week is a simple one. 

For those married and unmarried men, always remember that there are consequences for your “kurukere” movements. 

E go be

Ciao!