Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Sunday, June 20, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...




Please Stella and BVs, I need advice on this....

She is my sister from another mother. Married with 3 children. She ran to my house two weeks ago with her children and maid. There have been complains and counter complains of domestic violence. I have spoken to her in so many words on the reasons to make her marriage work but the last issue made her run away.

 The husband pined her to the wall and when her son who is 5+ came close, he flung him away and the innocent boy fell badly.

I am tired of taking care of them as my house is small. I have stylishly told her to rent a small place pending when she gets money for a better apartment. She cannot travel to stay with her parents at the moment because she is doing a small job. 

She wants to go back but shame is not letting her take the bold step to return as she expected the man will come begging but it has been two weeks since they Left, no word has been heard from him. I love the children so much but finance and space is restricting me from accommodating them any longer.

How do l ask her to leave politely without causing her more pain.

She wants to go back to the man? OMG!

Instead of asking her to leave why dont you discuss her getting a small place with her? Please do not encourage her to go back to that man.

Wait oh, is she staying with her kids and not bringing money for food and other stuff? that is so wrong.... Maybe you can ask her to also contribute to the feeding if that will give her more time to stay at your place.


  1. Please this lady should let her parents know what is happening
    in her marriage at the moment.
    When the chips are down, they are the people who will be thrown into mourning.
    Let her parents also confirm if the man had come looking for her or not.
    They received bride price to get this girl into marriage to that man.
    She should have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of
    darkness but expose them. That is if she is on
    the side of Truth in her narration of what happened.

    1. Instead of going back to DV, she should go on YouTube and search for "Justice Court Judge Funmi". She will get their contact by watching one of the video and contact them. They will mandate him to give her monthly allowance to care for the kids and also pay the school fees. People don't want the inconvenience and most times discourage DV victims from leaving their abusive spouse only to come online and write epistles if they end up dead. If she doesn't want to go to justice court, let her go back to her parents or send her kids back to them while she looks for accommodation. She took the right step by running for her life. He is probably waiting for her to crawl back to him. Even if she still wants to go back, she should take him to the justice court. Judge Funmi will recommend counselling which he definitely needs to manage his aggressive tendency.

  2. Hmmm! I think it be nice you two share the expenses to make things a tad easier and 👋 in all you do,please don't send the woman plus her kids out at this point

    1. Poster you sound like you don't mind her going back to just so that you can have your space back.
      You are willing to risk your friends life for your own space.

      I know you may not be financially buoyant but even if it's just shelter for now, please kindly grant them.

      Let her get her parents involved while looking for a better paying job.
      Going back should never be an option, what if he kills the son by mistake next time?

      Just hold on a little longer.

  3. One of the reasons many victims of domestic violence stay: they have no place to go, especially those from poor background.

    Poster, I know it's an inconvenience for you, but please don't encourage have to go back to him. What if she doesn't survive the next beating? Would you be able to live with yourself?

    I suggest you encourage her to get her own place. If you and other friends can contribute for her, that would be fine. If she can also reach out to her family members to assist, that would even be better.

    Single ladies, PLEASE take the time to examine a man before you marry him and have your own source of income. If things should go south, you might find yourself and your children becoming financial burdens to your family members and friends.

  4. "He flung the boy and he fell so badly..." but you did not tell us of
    any body injury on this 5 year old flung boy that's staying with you?
    Do I smell fish here. I have long learned not to listen to one side of
    tales from a marital squabbles.

    1. I wish l can answer you. But no worry. May God not give you things that are bigger than you. Yes. I am the poster.

    2. So even if there was no injury of the boy, the monster flinging his own son is not enough red flag for you????


    3. Anon 15:07 are you a witch or a wizard? Even to a child? Tufiakwa!!

    4. Goshhhh, you are disgusting!!!! What does she stand to gain from lying, especially concerning a little boy??? May God have mercy on your soul.

    5. If you like smell fish ,if you like smell akara. The issue is that she needs money to take care of her kids and get a place and you are asking about the wounded boy. Beating the woman is not an issue to you abi. If I slap you eehn

    6. What do you want to use his injury for?
      Are you a blood sucker that wants to use it to eat eba?

      Why should such an information be necessary to you?
      There should be no reason for violence...non at all

    7. @Poster: 15:54
      That question is relevant, did you see any injuries on a child that was flung across the room?
      That will add credence to her story. She can tell any tales to get sympathy. We've read it here

  5. Id she goes back to that man he'll see nothing wrong with his actions and do them again if not worse. Hwr best revenge is to be okay without him and watch him crawl back like one who's lost. Then she will be in control.

    Talk her into getting her own place no matter how small and be her angel till she gets better.

  6. Poster, sorry to say but there's no way you can tell her to leave politely that it won't cause her pain o. She has no where to go.

  7. Poster even though Stella said you should not encourage her to go back.
    Please do no discòurage her either.sit on the fence ooo

  8. It's not easy accommodating people these days but please don't encourage her to go back. She shouldn't even consider it even if the man come crawling.

    Discuss with her on getting a place for herself and kids since shes working.

  9. Women, having some form of financial independence before tying the knot is key. Many women are in bad situations but can't leave because they cannot afford to. It's sad. Your life is too valuable to be gambled with please.

  10. This one is tough sha. Do you know if he has enough to rent even a face me I face you because going back to that demon is not an option at all. Someone that not only beats his wife but flings his own little child across the room?

    Isn't there a way to condition your mind to let them stay till she is back on her feet. I understand you've done enough but if you could even manage further with them, I'm sure there would be a reward from God befitting of your kind deed.

  11. Ladies make money before marriage.
    In marriage, birth the number of kids your money can take care of without your husband.
    But you people will never hear.

    Everyday same shit from different women that are not financially stable.

    Make she go back make the man kill her naa. Nonsense and Desmond Eliot.

    1. Dem no dey hear ooooo...

    2. You are sooo right, tomorrow they will be crying and looking for a man to collect all his wealth. They will be looking for a man to kill because of infidelity or be a sonia whose husband has filed for divorce since 2years but won't move on and is looking for social media sympathy.

      LADIES BE VALUABLE AND NO MAN WILL TREAT U LIKE CRAP. Can Okonjo Iweala be disrespected by her husband? If the man fuck up ein go carry ein load waka by ein self and the woman no go send u cos she is too important to be brought down by a man.

    3. 16.42 say what you know, all in the name of sounding woke and trying to shade Sonia. Okonjo's husband embarrassed her years ago but she chose to stay.

  12. Sometimes unfortunate things happen, it's better she leaves with her life than die in the name of marriage

  13. Erm, why aren't her parents aware after 2 weeks of leaving her matrimonial home with her children?

    God forbid anything bad happens to nay of those kids, ad it is highly unlikely, still, it's always wise to do things the proper way and fulfil all righteousness.

    Secondly, everybody telling her to harbour a woman and her children should ask for her account number and send money to the woman so that she doesn't end up going back to the beast.

    Put your money where your mouth is. The person that is actually helping another person is tired and unable to do more.

    Women please, here is your opportunity to help two women and little children. Come on you can do it.

    Enough with empty words that simply make you feel virtuous.

    Stella, please call for contribution. Thanks

  14. Hmmmm. I won't encourage you to let her go back though she it seems she wants to return. My own is pls make her inform her people about what's going on and where she and the kids are. So u won't be the one to carry the whole fault and blame later. This happened to my colleague some years ago.
    Another colleague of ours accommodated her when her husband beat her though the night. They were already making arrangements for accommodation for her when she got info that her family said she should return to her husband. She went back o. And our friend is an enemy to the husband now.

  15. What sort of man pins a woman to the wall?

    Sometimes I wish Nigeria had laws that protect women and children as obtainable in western countries.

    Women should learn to have their own money, so they can have a plan B and set it in motion when the need arises.

  16. Sit down with her and gently ask her about her future plans. The children need to start school and she needs to move on with her life

    Listen and steer the conversation to letting her patents know

    No shame in being a victim of DV
    Only the abusers should be ashamed!

    1. Not even about the shame, its a big risk not letting her parents and immediate family members know because if anything happens to her or any of her kids it will be her husband's word against yours. Had same situation with a friend that almost involved my life thank God for the small voice that I listened to and involved the family. Let her family know what has happened and tell them you are accommodating them for now things will move from there...if story change on top your head even your friend go talk say na you say make she no go back to her husband and sorry if you are single. LET HER PARENTS KNOW!!!!

  17. Poster please try and accommodate her a little more.

  18. Your sis needs all the support snhe can get, i know things aint easy but pls let her stay for a while more and both you, her and parents should find a means to get her a place. Don't let her go back to that monster pls o imaging pushing a 5 years old child. Make parents stop preaching to their daughters to do marriage by force by fire. They will never preach to their sons to endure only daughters

  19. Dem no go hear ooooo...

  20. Did i hear do not advice her to go back? Please be neutral, let her make decisions by herself. Am also hearing go to her parents, do what exactly? To burden old people who are probably pensioners or managing their lives? Why do ladies feel the need to go back to their parents? You are an adult for christ's sake, take responsibility for your life and your kids. Why is it that men do not return to their parents during marriage wahala? Simple thing is that they've become responsible for their lives.

    Why do ladies feel the need to be valueless, apparently she was no value before her husband that's why he treats her like trash. U can't just wakeup and get married and expect to fully be a man's liability? Please and please money and assets are values to a human being,

    Madam friend do not advice her on anything, she is an adult and she can decide for herself, tomorrow if she reconciles with the man they will call u a bad friend and homewrecker, on the other hand if she leaves her husband and faces excess hardship and people shame her or you marry and have a happy home, she will turn around to blame you for her failed marriage so please let her decide by herself. I don't even know why you are harbouring her when are family is not in the know of her marital problems? You are trying to bring trouble to yourself abi? U are harbouring people that were beaten, what if they die in your hands? Please let her go back or inform her family and be on her own to plan her life.

    Finally, Women upgrade yourselves, get certifications, degrees, jobs, do business but never ever be fully dependent on a man and be valueless. Your friend should add value to her life biko, she can do a biz no matter how small or any job but she needs to take responsibility for her life.

  21. Stella, she obviously wants to go back because she has no support system. She's already feeling vibes from the poster and that's why most women stay in abusive relationships because they have no where to go. If they return home their parents will keep sending them back so the parents are no shamed in the society. If they have understanding siblings and go to them, the spouse of the sibling will wage war against them. If they go to friends wahala. Women, the importance of financial independence cannot be overestimated, instead of being at the mercy of any relative or staying in an abusive marriage, have money to get your own space and take care of yourself and children.

    Poster and anyone in the poster's situation please don't encourage people to go back to abusive situations simply because it is inconvenient for you. If you don't want them to stay with you, you can assist them to get a place, q single room is enough and from there the woman can get more suitable accommodation as her situation improves. When you do good deeds please follow through, don't do it for 2 weeks and start complaining. It's not easy but God will help you.

  22. 3 children plenty for this kind wahala wey your sisters dey go through. Let her parents know, maybe she can drop her kids with them while she gets back to her feet. I think that'll be better. Please don't advice her to go back to that devil.

  23. Touching
    I wish i can help her

    God give me my heart deaires Lord, tne kind of people i want to be doing for

  24. If you send her out, she might go back and things might not end well for her. It's a tight corner but sit her down and talk to her. The only option is for her to get her own place. Discuss with her to assist financially in your house while you give her an estimated time to move and get her own place.

  25. And let her tell her family the situation of things. It's very important

  26. BITCHandSLUT.com20 June 2021 at 19:18

    "Finance and Space".

    Did y'all ready that?

    How on Earth is she supposed to keep letting them stay and continue feeding them with the economic situation in the country?

    Not that she likes to chase them but she doesn't have a choice, after all, she has tried the best her power can reach.

    This is the reason majority of women in abusive marriages are still there.

    I just feel like crying bcos I know that woman will definitely go back to that man.

    If she doesn't go on her own, her family will persuade her to go.

    The only time a woman will not go back is if she's financially stable to take care of herself and her children or she has strong support system from her family.

  27. This one is tough. Please don't send her away, you can try telling her to contribute the little she can to the upkeep of the house, while saving up for her own place. But then, i hope she doesn't forgive the husband later and decide to go back to him, thence telling him how u wanted her to leave him... You will become an enemy to the man then o

  28. Poster pls, don't allow her go back to that abusive man,l know accommodating people this time is not easy.
    Discuss with her on how to get her own place. going back to that man should never be an option.

  29. "How do l ask her to leave politely without causing her more pain?" By asking her to leave after telling her sincerely, how you feel. Please advise her not to go back to that man for now. Her children need her alive abeg. She can make the marriage work when he becomes human and if she is alive. Her only option now is to either go to her parents or rent a room, no matter how small.

    Call her parents by yourself and tell them everything. I mean everything. Stop harbouring her. Let her take responsibility for her life. Two weeks are enough to help a woman who escaped DV. If she doesn't leave now, your relationship with her may turn sour due to the inconvenience she's causing and your help will turn around and be labelled wickedness. Besides, the husband may start acting funny towards you later, if they happen to reconcile. He may also tell people that you aided the break up of their marriage.

    Best she can do is to use welfare, especially if she doesn't want to go back to him. Welfare will ensure that he fulfills his duty to his children's upkeep. Let her parents go with her to welfare. She'll have an upper hand because of the issue of domestic violence involved.

  30. regardless of your love for your sister you have to tell her the truth, express yourself.. you also need your space, both of you can talk it out and come to a reasonable conclusion. #PeaceofMind


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