Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Thursday, June 17, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm....









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE BIG LIE


My mother's younger sister gave birth to a girl when she was 15years. When the girl was less than six months old. My mum travelled home to visit her sister and the new baby.

 The next day of her visit, Her sister left the child at home and ran away.


 No one heard from her for one week and GSM was not common those days. My mother brought the small girl over to Lagos, took over her upkeep. When the girl was 5 years. The mother came back and pleaded with everyone to forgive her.


 According to her. She did not know what to do with the baby so she untilized the opportunity of my mum visit to leave the baby for her. My mum is her eldest sister and their parents are dead.


When she was 17, her mum got married and did not tell her husband about this child of hers. The husband thinks the girl is my mum's biological daugther. She calls my mother mum and calls her biological mum aunty.


She actually looks like us. Her mum sends her money once in a while but they do not relate like mother and child. She is 27 now and has a suitor. 

My mum and her siblings including the lady's mum wants the traditional marriage rite to be performed in my mother's village which is the right thing. She is bearing my maternal grand fathers surname. The lady has already told her fiance that my father is her biological father. She wants my mum to allow the traditional rite hold in my father's village as his daughter. 

My mum and dad came from the same state but different local government area.

 My parents are confused. What will people say? This lady is the first child they brought up before they gave birth to us. They have actually been married for 3 years without a child before this lady came into their lives and my mother conceived three months after. My parents have serious emotional attachment to this lady even more than the rest of us. 

 Bvs what do you think?



*What kind of nonsense is this? you made a mistake having a child when you were young but why make another one when your brain should be working? How long will they keep this secret? I am asking cos it will blow out one day and crash mother and daughters marriages..

53 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. What's with the "this lady,"??

      IMO, I don't see anything wrong with what she wants. Your parents are her parents since they've taken care of her up till now. What does it matter what people will say? Abeg make them talk!

      Delete
    2. TRUTH is the only solution.. It doesn't matter where the ceremony holds. They can even do it in the town. But truth is very important.

      She should start her marriage with a solid foundation.. This one has too much sand inside the konkiri already.

      Delete
    3. CC didn't know you saw that.
      Poster, Am suppose to believe you all grew up together, right?

      Delete
    4. She is your mom’s adopted child. Let the man marry her in your house in Lagos. You guys don’t know her father right? So, let your father stand for her. Or you can tell her fiancé that she was adopted (which is true). If he insists he wants to find her parents, then let him get to the root of the matter. You can as well tell the man the truth. I don’t know why your aunt lied to her husband. She was a kid when it happened. The ones people run away from are the big adults who greedily become baby mama for a married man, these ones can kill.

      Delete
    5. That's the only home and family she knows.
      Marriage is very sacred and should be down where is more comfortable for the person involved.

      Her store father doesn't know of her existence, her real mother isn't claiming her, so why force her to go there.

      She's your adopted elder sister, simple.
      Your case is like that of the girl in "jumping the broom" let your parents stand in, after all that's the only family she's known...who cares what people will say?

      Delete
  2. Your Dad is her father, he should go ahead and collect things for her head,but some tradition though...
    But he should sit as her father if its what she wants

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My thought exactly, that is the father she knew, He has the right to accept her bride price. The Lady is a good soul who is appreciative and has accepted her faith. If the man finds out, she wont be blamed as she was abandoned and had to accept her adoptive parents as her own. What of children from orphanages.

      Delete
    2. Difference between father and a sperm donor.

      Your dad is her father that's all

      No issue. She's right.
      If a child a adopted, won't her trad hold in the man's house?

      Delete
  3. If the guy really loves her, the story surrounding her birth shouldn't be a problem,but lying to him about her parentage is very bad and punishable under love law, as for the real mum, make she continue, your parents have done the best for her,and they're her parents in the every sense but not her biological parent, they can still do the wedding in your fathers house,cos to me your dad has every right on her, but the husband to be must know everything

    ReplyDelete
  4. The lady should not make the mistake of entering her marriage with secret, she should tell her husband to be everything to avoid problems, cos secret cannot be kept forever

    ReplyDelete
  5. St Elsewhere Phoenix17 June 2021 at 15:09

    Poster sometimes a parent may not be biological but one who was responsible to take the position of a mother or father in your life.

    I believe the marriage should take place at your father's house. That lady is a daughter to your parents. Who cares about what people will say, max 1 month. There will be no need to lie about who she is especially to her intending husband.


    Your parents know the right thing to do. I dunno why that lady's mother will be acting in such manner. All the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is my view as well. They brought her up, they are her parents.

      Delete
    2. I support this advice as well

      Delete
    3. Seconded

      @ Poster your parents are her parents also since they bought her up when she was 5 months without knowing anything concerning her life

      Your parents should carry on.

      Delete
  6. This looks complicated already and it will be worse if the truth comes out later cos it will eventually.

    The lady getting married and her mum needs to let their partners know the truth. It's better now than later. There will be so much anger and drama but I believe they'll be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  7. One lie leads to more lies.....!
    I don't care about the triangle formed before this wife to be came of age,but she should NEVER HAVE LIED to her FIANCE,if the marriage holds/survives the truth,its in her hands,she messed it up HERSELF,why lie to the person you want to LIVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Me I don't see anything in this o . They can even hold the marriage in the streets. Please your parents own her Biko.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The truth will set you all free. There are some things that shouldn't and can't be hidden forever. Poster, your parents have to call a family meeting and do the needful before lives are destroyed.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Some people and keeping of unnecessary secrets that will ruin lives later.
    Pls tell your parents to tell the girl the truth and do the right thing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The lady should have let the suitor know she the truth bout her actual paternity

    The marriage right should be held in at her grand paternal compound and that is where marriage rites should be performed. Not wrong for it to be held at your parents place to avoid ancestors coming for any one that what is due to them was give to someone else....nkea by omenala Igbo!

    We shouldn't just do things to meet our shortcuts that we will regret later and start moving from one prayer house to another looking for unending solutions in the future

    Make hay while the sun shines...

    ReplyDelete
  12. The lady should have let the suitor know the truth about her actual paternity

    The marriage rite should be held in her grand paternal compound and that is where marriage rites should be performed. It is wrong for it to be held at your parents place to avoid ancestors coming for any one 'that what is due to them was given to someone else....nkea by omenala Igbo!

    We shouldn't just do things to meet our shortcuts that we will regret later and start moving from one prayer house to another looking for unending solutions in the future

    Make hay while the sun shines...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your comment shows the irony of life.

      Going to the grand paternal family compound means going to the compound of the biological father of the woman. Going to pay the bride price to the man and or his family who the story does not say was a part of the woman's life before now.

      Sadly, your comment is right culturally and traditionally in the Nigerian patriarchal native law and custom system.

      But if the choice is only between the grand maternal compound and the Chronicler's father's compound, the proper place should be the latter - Na man wey raise pikin to become woman be im Papa.

      Delete
    2. @16.21, you wanted to be "woke" so bad, that you didn't even notice that it was a typo. Considering what we have read today, does it sound like the engaged lady knows her paternal side of her family? It's more than evident that E.C.'s comment was about grand PARENTAL...meaning her mum and aunt's parents' home.

      Delete
    3. Dear SMH, are you Electronic City using a dummy ID as analysed in Amebonawork's article some days ago. But I believe you are not Electronic City hence this response to your comment.

      Your comments are based on assumptions and speculations. You assume the mother of the woman does not know who got her pregnant, and that my comments are based on affected "awokeness". Remove these speculative specks from your eyes. You will see there is no typo in Electronic City's comment, and the clear warning in that post. You will also see that I support the celebration of the marriage in the Chronicler's father's compound, but under most Nigerian native laws and customs, bride price (the key part of Nigerian traditional marriage rites) is paid in the biological father's compound unless the man or his family waives the right.

      Well, maybe under the native law and custom where you are from, bride price is paid to the bride's family. So I understand the dynamics of cultures.

      Delete
  13. Let the wedding hold in your father's village, to all intents and purposes, your father has been a father to her, let your parents go and appease and give drink and gifts to any elders in your mum's village that might be offended that the wedding didn't hold there. Let her disclose what she deems fit to her husband before the man will start abusing her tomorrow that her mother is wayward. It's not her fault that her mother is irresponsible.

    ReplyDelete
  14. “Lady” this “Lady” that. Haba! Cant you address her as your sister??
    I pray for God’s wisdom upon your family to tackle this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought I'm the only one who's looking at her referring to someone who actually grew up in their home as her parents first child as "the Lady"

      Delete
    2. It’s called Jealousy she couldn’t even say my cousin sis at worst, from what she wrote up there I am sure she doesn’t want it to hold in her father’s house

      Delete
    3. As in ehhhhh

      Poster “the lady” brought children to your parents home so please don't refer to her as a stranger 🥂🥂🥂

      Delete
    4. She referred to her as “the new baby” “the girl” “the lady” “this lady” never my sister or even my cousin.
      Despite the fact that since she is the eldest, the poster was born when her sister, yes sister was already living with their parents.
      She doesn’t feel close to her at all. She shows no affection towards her in the story. Poster is strange

      Delete
  15. Let the wedding hold in your father's village, to all intents and purposes, your father has been a father to her, let your parents go and appease and give drink and gifts to any elders in your mum's village that might be offended that the wedding didn't hold there. Let her disclose what she deems fit to her husband before the man will start abusing her tomorrow that her mother is wayward. It's not her fault that her mother is irresponsible.

    ReplyDelete
  16. The onus lies on the lady to open up to her fiance. Maybe from there the whole show of revelations will start. It will be a string of revelations, up to who the lady's father is.

    Tell your parents to tell the lady to open up to her fiance. Then if the fiance is interested in further findings of her paternity, more can be told. If not, leave it at that. Just that if yawa gas in the future, at least, your parents would have played their part in trying to be truthful. Let it be on record that they tried to get her to tell her husband the truth.

    Your mum can also tell her sister to open up to her son-in-law-to-be, by telling him the truth. That man has every right to know thehistory of his wife's family. If she declines, then that's up to her to deal with. But if I'm in your parents' shoes, I'll tell the young man myself. Afterall, they raised her and are more or less her parents. Aren't they the ones going to give her out? Some people may lay the whole blames on your parents in future, since they are the ones who gave her out. If it gets to a law court, your parents will be in trouble.

    Maybe the fear is that he will withdraw. But I don't think so. If he truly loves her, he'll marry her regardless of her history. Because to me, this isn't really a big deal. People process things differently. He may react negatively in future if he finds out.

    ReplyDelete
  17. The lady should tell her fiance the truth. Let him know you just found out when making the wedding preparations.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Knew my wife didn’t post this story because we already married. Her mother’s older sister raised her because her mum had her when she was in secondary school and didn’t want her present husband to know. She told me after we were married, I never knew anything all along, even if I did know, it doesn’t change a thing, I’m married to her, not her mother or mother’s older sister. Some secrets are best left unsaid. Let everyone live their lives in love, it’s just one life to live to be reopening old wounds

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you for leaving trash for Lawma. The girl is an innocent girl who didn’t ask to be born that way. God bless the family that raised her too. Please take care of her o.

      Delete
  19. But the fiancé should already know your father isn’t her biological father since there is a disparity in surname. She should have told him the truth from the beginning

    I think that if people already know she isn’t your biological sister, they might as well do it in your maternal village but if you people are trying to hide and cover, then the girl can beg your mum’s family for it to be done in your father’s place. But then again, do your father’s clan take her as their child? Because how will they give away someone who they don’t regard as their child? These are the issues.

    I also think that there is nothing to hide and cover and wanting to hide stuff is what caused this dilemma in the first place. There are important things that we should tell people who are interested in marriage to us even if no other person knows, and this is one of them

    ReplyDelete
  20. OP, the lady is an adult, let her wish be granted. She sees your parents as hers too..besides, ain’t y’all family already? Why are you addressing her like an acquaintance.
    The only problem would be not telling her fiancé about the situation.

    It’s now convenient for her mother who abandoned her to make decisions on her behalf. 🙄
    Let people talk if they wanna, why should y’all care?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Poster, it is not your place to inform the fiance of your sister. Yes, your sister because your parents brought her up. So stop referring to her as "the Lady".

    I see nothing wrong with her wanting those who brought her up to sit as her parents. In fact, I commend her for that. Why should her mother who denied her till date sit as her mother?

    Let your sister be the one to choose to inform her fiance if she wants to.

    I don't see what the problem is here o

    ReplyDelete
  22. What if she was adopted legally, will this issue be up. May too much tradition not kill us in this countryooooh.

    I see no issue here biko.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Poster, how can you address her as "this lady" . You must be a very bitter soul

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 16;32..
      Are you minding her. This tell a lot about who she is.
      Nobody asked you to be a spoke person, if she wants to keep it away from her potential groom, leave her alone.. She has her reason I believe.

      Delete
  24. Please let her tell her husband about it and also tell her husband what she wants from your parent. Her husband will also have his own opinion on it

    ReplyDelete
  25. Some secret are better not said.

    She's your father's daughter by adoption, what about the orphans

    ReplyDelete
  26. Sperm donor is not a father at all. The one who raised her from birth until now and whom she knows is her father. Any man can fuck and deny pregnancy and child. But the one who laboured under rain and sun to spend his resources on a child that is not his own is actually the father of the child. Some other men would have even asked your mother to choose between the child and her marriage. Please let your father eat the fruit of his labour and let "people" say what they are always known to say.

    ReplyDelete
  27. The lady should tell her fiance the truth, she can also insist on getting married in your father's village since he is the only father she knows. The continue living in lies, one day it will burst on her face

    ReplyDelete
  28. Humana are funny. If the lady had chosen to ignore your parents now, you all would have tagged her "ungrateful". Now she's giving honor to whom honor is due, it's a problem. Mschew!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Dear poster,my family was once in this situation bt in my case ,it was my mum’s younger sister.My parents took her when she was two and brought her up till she got married.She is known by us as the eldest daughter in the family.In our tradition it is the bride’s parents that should receive her dowry if they are alive and if they are not a relative should probably her brother. Even though my parents were the one who took care of her ,my father couldn’t receive her dowry although their dad was late ‘my mum and aunt ‘ they had a brother ,the only thing my dad did was lead her to the altar even after so much disagreement from their family bt she insisted that it must be my dad who will lead her to the altar.My advice is that your mum’s younger sister should come clean about who the child’s father is and if he is nowhere to be found then your mum’s family should receive the dowry and if there is no one available there before your dad can receive the dowry,although I understand she loves your parents and would want them to accept her dowry bt sometimes you just have to follow tradition and on the wedding day your dad can lead her to the altar.

    ReplyDelete
  30. 27 years old child and the mother is Still hiding the truth from her husband. I wish you guys well.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Omo this is a very complicated situation to be honest,but I feel the biological mum shouldn't have much of a say in this...the decision of the daughter should be fully respected

    ReplyDelete
  32. Your Parents are good people. They are her parents. Please let your Dad give her out. She is your sister. Nothing like tradition here abeg.

    ReplyDelete

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