Stella Dimoko CHRONICLE Of A Married Man - 31


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Sunday, June 27, 2021

CHRONICLE Of A Married Man - 31

Married women cheat; lots of them do. 

Maybe not as much as the men. But when we talk about the single folks, the ladies cheat way more than the guys for obvious reasons (story for another day).

Sometime in 2007, while I was still in Bonny. A call came in that my uncle’s son was critically ill. Awilo, as we fondly called him then, was also working in Bonny then. The wife lived in Delta state with the children.

 The sickness was mysterious and nobody knew what was wrong with the child. All efforts at treating the him proved abortive and two weeks later, he died after being sick for over a month.

While they were still morning the first child, the second one (they had two children then) fell ill too with a similar pattern of sickness. That’s was when family concluded that this sickness wasn’t ordinary. 

Something was definitely wrong.

 They had to “investigate” it spiritually. The outcome of the findings was that they should asked the mother to confess. It was her actions or rather sin that was killing the children and the second one will mostly definitely die if she doesn’t speak on time.

She eventually confessed that she had been sleeping with one of their neighbors then because the husband wasn’t always around and “what to do” when she was bored and lonely. Besides, the neighbor has always been friends with her.

Hell broke loose and in other not to injure or kill her from anger Awilo told her to just leave the house. Eventually family and friends prevailed on Awilo to “forgive and forget”. The traditional sacrifices of cleansing were done and they are still married till this day. 

Awilo still does lots of travelling even up till now; and I believe the wife has been faithful . At least, the loss of the child was a hard way to learn such lessons.

So, let’s talk about cheating wives today and how lots of married men have been dealing with them. Trust me, lots of married women cheat in their marriages today; and funny enough in many cases, their husbands are aware and they still remain married. 

The most common of them is married women with lesbian partners and the new trend of married friends exchanging partners or doing periodic orgies for “spicing up” their marital lives. My wife told me of one such group she met recently.

Before I go further, let me throw some light on the issue of a married man having his wife cheat on him. Men are creatures with very huge egos. Societal and psychological evolution, has always tied the strength of men to their s#xual prowess. When a married woman cheats on the husband, most times the message that is passed across is “the husband is not man enough”. Such cases of cheating deals heavy blows on the egos of the men and most men won’t deal.

Lots of men are too embarrassed to talk about their cheating wives, especially when they still want to keep the marriage.

Also, the society especially here in Nigeria and most significantly in cultures like mine (the Urhobos) where cheating from married woman is highly frowned at and the spiritual consequences that goes with such acts (as can be seen in Awilo’s case); married women are not expected to cheat. When they do, the effects most times are usually very devastating.

But all that has changed now. It’s a new world order. Woman power is being championed. Even the ancestors aren’t as effective as they used to be; some of them are even “bribed” now not to act. Also, Christianity has chased away the old traditions and modernization has even driven home the point that “if men can cheat, women can cheat as well”

I will share some few points on how some men have been coping or rather keeping their families together even while their wives are cheating on them.

 Kindly note that this is not to justify cheating wives or encourage them. It is wrong in every ramification. But then, it’s a reality some of our married folks are living with right now.

First group, feign ignorance. Most men these days just pretend they don’t know their wives are cheating on them. We have lots of erectile dysfunction, small “Johns” and even gay men walking around. They don’t really care who their wives sleep with. Others would rather assume their wives has been faithful to them when she hasn’t been “touched” for years while they are happily married, but we know better now.

Second group, amicable cohabitation. With the rise of the woke culture now. There exists now different forms of marital arrangements ranging for marriage of convenience, sperm donors, open marriages and even polyandry which is now legal in South Africa. The most common among this group is the men that condone or even encourage their lesbian wives. They would rather she cheats with a woman than a fellow man, it will break their egos. Married people have come up with different arrangements that enables them live in peace while they each pursue their sexual preferences.

Third group, the helpless ones. For this group, the wife pays the bills and calls the shots. The man would rather have the roof over his head and bills paid rather than contend with the cheating wife. Don’t argue, it’s happening now.

And the last, the weird men. This group either for ritual purposes, s#xual fetish, inability to have children or the “cheating men” who have no qualms about their wives engaging in revenge cheating. In this group, the permutations abound. But the bottom line is they don’t really care if their wives are cheating on them

In conclusion, men have woken up to the new reality. The society has forced women to endure cheating husbands for generations. I think the men are feeling the heat more these days.

So, if you ask me what I would do if I catch my wife cheating on me. My answer as always remain the same. I will forgive her; especially if I know I contributed to her doing so. But then she has to go and settle with my village people. My ancestors are unforgiving.

Let the gbas gbos begin…

E go be!.



  1. In my place they call it ekpo nka wo. The ancestors here too have started collecting bribe. I know of a neighbor while I was in secondary school back then that died because the wife who was a nurse was cheating on him. Theirs was that if your wife cheats,the man dies.
    The woman is alive till date

  2. Dante food don land for you.

    1. I don commot hand for Una matter oh.. experience would do a better job than all my shouting.. shebi when I'll talk about girls and married men.. all those 'chidinmas'on this blog will be ranting up and down with different excuses trying to justify nonsense.. saying we all sin differently, asking me to let God be the judge, shebi as Una colleague now don throw away her life at the yung age of 21 Una eyes don dey clear.. one was still saying she discussed with her sugar daddy on what to do if he slump during sex.. Wetin I no go read for this blog.. abi no be still here I dey read on how shameless girls have now become, judging from the BBN stories being posted daily..

      But in all these, I still blame men. Weak men.. No, not the broke ones without power, those ones are useless and can't do much harm.. but the 'money miss road' ones in power, they usually cause disaster. They crush their fellow men with simp laws.. causing ruin to great businesses and empires because of women..

      As for this today's discussion, it doesn't concern me in anyway. I'm old skool (in mind).. I'm not of this 'woke' generation. How they decides to leave their stupid lives is none of my business.. generation of people that brag online about things they're supposed to hide. Dumbos

  3. It's only the women's cheating that has consequences bah? The blind gods must be men or at least were created by men.
    I take all such stories where the diety is sexist with a pinch of salt.
    My take is NOONE is permitted to cheat and where one partner decides to cheat, he/she should be ready to receive whatever punishment the other partner decides to dish out.
    Society needs to stop preaching advance forgiveness for cheating and excusing it as 'their nature. Noone has the monopoly on cheating, those who abstain are just principled.
    I repeat, noone has the monopoly on cheating! You can't cheat and turn around to threaten me for doing the same thing.

    1. You just dey make noise..
      Until this whole relationship for convenience,'no romance without finance' cliché, transactional relationships, poverty alleviation marriage etc etc mentality is stopped.. all these issues of men not being faithful would continue.

      A man while still coming up would find it hard to find a lady that would stay faithful to him because her eyes dey outside asper 'small girl with big god'.. him go come gather rabas finish Una go come dey rush am and start to play victims say him no loyal.. loyal to your gold digging ass bah? Una never ready

      Nip the ish from the source

    2. Dante, chile go and gather the raba 1st.

  4. There are two lesbian married women in the compound I live.One's husband is barely around (works offshore);and the other's husband ;though around,belongs to category 3(the helpless ones) as his wife is the breadwinner and he is just a sperm donor for procreation.
    I always wondered at such closeness between the two ladies,& noticed they dont even talk when the 1st one's husband is around,but once he goes back,they become inseperable.My suspicion was confirmed when someone saw them smooching & pecking each other when they thought no one was in the compound.These are both married women with kids,and in the eyes of everyone else,responsible ladies that don't move up and down,yet the main action takes place indoors.
    Its becoming more and more obvious to residents,but who go tell the respective spouses? Na God hand e dey.

  5. One point is clear in the first narration,
    the entire family had been sold into occultism to devils in the
    name of "spiritual cleansing" and "traditional sacrifices"
    That is what the devils wanted; more souls to imprison.

  6. Most tradition have been wipe out.

  7. Let women marry women? No. Let men marry men, No. Ok now, they will marry you and sort themselves out.


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