Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Dr Freaks Journal - Using Ones Real Age And Football Age

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Thursday, June 17, 2021

Dr Freaks Journal - Using Ones Real Age And Football Age

 Ever lied about your age and got caught?













In 2007, I was one (1) year old at the Bar at the time and like most of my Call mates, I was "job hunting". I had a job really, but I needed a better one.


For your information, I gained admission to the university to study Law exactly ten (10) years after my graduation from secondary school (1990-2000).


Arising from the foregoing, having "chased"/"pursued" Law for ten (10) years of my early life, one thing was certain, I could not have studied Law only for the purpose of adding that unknown "title" of "Barr" to my name or for the purpose of glazing my certificate and displaying same in my shop/office. That, in part explains why I've never done anything outside legal practice in my little years of practice.


However, the take home pay of young lawyers has always been poor and mine was no exception. Mine could buy me two (2) bottles of beer and one (1) plate of "nkwobi" on my "Pay-Day", fuel my car only on Fridays and transport me to and fro work in some rickety "Danfos" for fifteen (15) days. 

The remaining two (2) or three (3) days, my late sister and "Jimmy my barber" always intervened!


Like most of my contemporaries at the time, I prepared about four (4) different types of Resumes, with each one tailor made for a peculiar role. 

 made one for banking roles while another was made for oil and gas and other two (2) were made for teaching and law firms respectively.


At the time under reference, the minimum age for banking recruitment was pegged at 27 and those were even the magnanimous ones. Some put theirs at 24 (the ones with fine white pillars) and guess what, I was well over 30 and so, for the very first time in my life, I conceived the idea of "doctoring" my age to make myself suitable for the roles. 

Some of my CVs, the ones for teaching and law firms had my real age while the ones for banking and oil and gas roles had my "football age". I actually yanked off just five (5) years and by the time I printed out my CV, it turned out that I had graduated from secondary school at thirteen (13) and primary school at seven (7). Great feat hun?


There was an opening in a law firm, a promising one at the time and it has grown so big today. My cousin had a robust relationship with the partners and he had confidently referred me to the firm. The partners requested for my CV and I "erroneously" submitted the one that was designed for banking and oil and gas roles.

 It was too late! 


I could no longer retrieve it. The moment the first partner who is now a Senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria saw it, I could see that look of disappointment on his face. He voiced out his displeasure later. I didn't get the job because I was "dishonest". This was a job I could have got on a platter of gold, but due to that lie, I lost it.


After that incident, I swore never to misrepresent my age for any reason whatsoever in my life again. If you know me very well, you will know that my age is in the public domain and for your information, it is always on display on my social media pages on the 9th day of August of every year.


Guess what, six (6) years after that incident, the same law firm offered me a job but unfortunately and or fortunately for me, I got a better offer about the same time and I opted for the latter.


You know what, for as long as you live in a clime where there is no data bank where information could be readily accessed, citizens will continue to falsify records recklessly.


For as long as employment is tied to age, citizens will continue to cut corners or do you want them to be unemployed for the rest of their lives?


For as long as every Tom Dick and Harry can procure an affidavit without tears, citizens will continue to falsify their ages.


Do you know that, if you depose to an affidavit falsely (lying under oath) you are toying with a crime -"Perjury".

Stay Safe..
Its Kunle

29 comments:

  1. Kunle, Keyamo didn’t pay much either. A friend of mine could never tell me her salary at his law firm in Abuja. She was a barrister with UK masters o.

    Karen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam Karen salary is not the center of this discussion, age falsification is.
      As you don't pay attention, how do you expect to be paid a high salary?πŸ™„

      Delete
    2. Fresh Fruit........πŸ˜‰

      Delete
    3. “Fresh fruit”, Are you having a bad day? Sending you light.

      Karen

      Delete
  2. There are many reasons people lie about their age, though I've never really had any reason to falsify my age. However some reasons are quite understandable

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lieing about my age is not really my thing but in a country like Nigeria i don't think i have a choice if i know i will get the job. Abeg i no come this life to suffer!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abeg no talk say "is not really my thing, but...." no dey give reason for your lies. Lie and embrace it with your full chest.

      Delete
  4. I can't falsify my age. Na old I dey old I no kill person. When some employers will be demanding for the impossible, the country will continue to suffer from this charade.

    Lovelace

    ReplyDelete
  5. Poor remuneration has always been the bane of young lawyers. After spending years in the University and then, the torturous Nigerian Law School, one firm will look at you and offer you 40k salary.

    Some, like in my case, will tell you that they won't pay you, rather you should even pay them for "teaching" you law.

    Thank God it's been years, since i passed that stage. However, with the number of lawyers the NLS churns out every year, its only logical that the already strained labour market will be completely saturated.

    With the Covid lockdown and the JUSUN strike, I wonder how litigation lawyers have been surviving.

    Nice piece as usual Kunle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You even earn 40k,mine is 30k and it doesn't even come regularly. We re owed month to month and I am a married woman with a baby oo. I just joined my hubby in his location so I am currently not finding it funny. I really need a breakthrough. I am 7years at the bar.

      Delete
    2. What a sad situation.I was paid 15k which was later increased to 20k after a year. Mind you, the firm was a very busy one but that was all I was paid. Couldn't discuss my pay with family and friends πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€. It's well

      Delete
  6. Age falsification is a no no for me, ino kill person.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I laughed at the age you graduated - 13&7. It's the employers that cause age falsification o. It is well. Good one

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. when you go for judgement with the Lord, you tell him its the employers that caused you to lie. be spewing trash.

      Delete
    2. See this Anonymous talking about judgement with the Lord, abeg carry your wahala commot for here. So you wan talk say you never lie, abi? People go just come dey from righteousness for blog.

      Delete
    3. Dont mind him/her @16:12, make e continue to be blind to realing. Greatest liar dey disguise

      Delete
  8. Concerning this age matter,
    I’m 28 years old and I want to process my Nigerin passport, i feel like reducing my age by 3-4 years, then change my birth certificate with my new age. My Waec and bvn and National ID and voters card has my main age(28 years). Will this affect my Canadian Visa application??

    ReplyDelete
  9. Na employment criteria in nigeria dey make alot of people doctor their age

    ReplyDelete
  10. Our banking industries should be fearing God o, they have made so many people falsify their ages and the Govt is not helping matters.

    I think I did that when I wanted to do my IT in a bank (2006) but they were not interested with the age (maybe) but the school IT form. I got the job but refused to go pick my offer letter.

    I don't falsify my age, just total removal from my CV unless when asked.

    Law firms don't pay much. Walahi, some lawyers dey suffer.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I can't even try to use the football age because I'll definitely forget and mention my real age.


    An interesting piece, KunleπŸ‘πŸΌ

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks, for the write-up. The reasons for this sort of behaviour were aptly captured. Though highlighted in your writeup above, I feel the major issue is the absence of a readily available central database of some sort. I will also like to add a depreciating value system and lack of opportunities as other reasons. Not until these issues are addressed there won't be an end to it

    I could remember seeing a roommate of mine back then in uni (who was in 300l while I was in 100l) with two documents. On one he was 36yrs and on the other he was 26yrs. I was shocked to be very honest so I asked him why he did that but the reason he gave me wasn't convincing. Though he needed not to convince me we never visited the issue again while being hotel mates.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Is there any lady here who hasn't falsified her age by words or action
    at one time or the other?
    They no longer even consider that one a lie.
    Let me rest it here. Shoot your catapults if you so please.
    πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Change your circle or those you interact with. I can boldly say that I have never ever lied about my age. I am proud of my age because most of my mates are gone. God leaving me to witness birthdays year after year is a testimony so why shouldn't I be proud?

      Delete
    2. I. I have never falsified my age, not in my c.v, not in words or action

      Delete
    3. Never even thought of it, stop assuming everyone is like you.

      Delete
  14. Nigerians want honest government whilst practicing falsehood. Issorait.

    ReplyDelete

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