Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: OAP Toolz Recounts The Pain Of Losing A Pregnancy And Coping With Her Father's Death...

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Wednesday, June 02, 2021

OAP Toolz Recounts The Pain Of Losing A Pregnancy And Coping With Her Father's Death...

On Air Personality Tolu Demuren says in the Interview with Chude "At one point, I didn't think I was going to be the mom of one. Now I have two boys,"










Losing a child is traumatic enough but losing a child and believing it’s your fault is worse. On this week’s episode of #WithChude, media personality Tolu Demuren, opened up about dealing with the loss of her first pregnancy, her father’s death and a COVID infected family.


Going from making full-blown plans to decorate a nursery to receiving the incapacitating news that she will never hold her child was far more than she could bear.


Recounting this experience, she said, “The doctor walked up to me and said, ‘I don’t think your baby is going to survive another week.’ I remember I went cold. And she was like, ‘There are a few things wrong and I don’t think your baby is going to survive another week’. We had gone from talking about how we were going to decorate the nursery and all these things to there might not be a baby. It was horrible”.


Taking in the news, Toolz explained how her faith in God kept her anchored through the entire experience. She said that she heard a voice in her head saying, “This pregnancy is not going to work but you are going to be okay.”


Recalling the tragic evacuation process, Toolz said, “The doctor told me that the baby was not going to make it and advised that I go into labour. I am like, ‘What! I can’t do that. If you make me do that, I will literally run mad in the hospital.’ And she goes, ‘You will be fine.’ It was about seven hours of labour.”


In the midst of it all, Toolz took the common route that many mothers grieving after a miscarriage often take - shame and self-blame. She convinced herself that there was something wrong with her. However, with the help of a therapist, she let herself go through the grieving process, pray and get to a point where she eventually believed that it was not her fault.


In Toolz’ words, “I went from crying every day to going a week without crying. Then I went two weeks without crying. Then I went a month without crying.”


“I just managed to get through everything. I just kept praying. I was like, ‘God, you know why this is happening. I don’t understand this. I don’t understand why I am going through this but you know why”, she said.


She further revealed that the death of her baby prepared her for her father’s death. According to her, “Losing the baby before kind of toughened me up. So, at some point I could see it coming. So, I did start to prepare myself even though I was a bit in denial as well. I think the first made me stronger for the second.”



Dealing with stillbirth and the loss of her dad was harrowing enough, but Toolz had another curve ball thrown her way when three months after the birth of her second child, her entire household tested positive for COVID.


“I remember I was just in a state of panic. It was very, very scary. I couldn’t have my sisters or anybody come because we were a COVID house. It was terrifying”, she said.

Life has undoubtedly dealt Toolz some fatal blows, but in spite of all, she continues to comfort mothers in similar circumstances while seamlessly balancing motherhood and media.


#WithChude is a special series of targeted multimedia conversations and investigations focused on narratives that enable and strengthen the mind, heart, and spirit.






26 comments:

  1. From TTC to family planning πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ

    May God remember us all in the waiting roomπŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

    Tools may your children remain a source of Joy to you and yours

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow! Thank God for growth and healing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My Dad rarely speaks about the child he lost but he has never gotten over it and I know he still hurts. I am glad people are beginning to talk about that kind of loss. Hoepfully it helps others. I thank God for your two boys now Toolz. It is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. try and make him understand that it is okay to show grief

      Delete
  4. What a miracle working God
    I pray for all TTC too
    They will receive their own Miracle

    ReplyDelete
  5. See the look Chude was giving her there.
    I'm happy for you,Tools.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I can so relate to the grieving part.I had a miscarriage a month ago and found it hard to even forgive myself.I trust God to make all things beautiful in His own time

    ReplyDelete
  7. My mum lost a child before me. (I’m currently the first) and almost thirty years later, she has never talked about it. My sibs and I even got to know through my dad and granny. I think it is a pain one cannot get over. Toolz, thank God for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same as my mom. My mom lost a son before me..he was about to clock one . The experience left my mom traumatized as she was even pregnant with me. It took constant visits,talks and encouragement from.my maternal grandfather and (who she loved so much) and God for her to go through. She had me with a blazing fever and almost 33years later,she still remembers him. His baby pictures were all over the house When we were growing up,but my Dad had to put them away.

      Delete
  8. Have lost 3 pregnancies now. Can't even share it with people. Everyone keeps asking me what are you waiting for? What is keeping you guys? Not knowing I have lost 3 in 3 years now. It is so hard. So heartbreaking . Words can't describe how it feels. I have done all manner of tests; hsg,TV's, laparoscopy,MRI even endoscopy to know if anything is wrong anywhere. All results report everytn is fine,yet I lose my precious babies. God help me....so sad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Anony 9:56
      Dnt give up on God cos He wont give up on u.πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

      Delete
    2. Comforts to you Anon. God will give you double for your loss...

      Delete
    3. May the Lord God bless you. May your children surround your table. May your children stay, grow old, live long too see their fourth generation. May you also live long to enjoy the fruits of your labour in Jesus name.❤❤❤

      Delete
    4. So sorry dear. You will carry the next one to full term and birth healthy babies, amen.

      Delete
    5. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—
      Your sweet testimony Loading soon.

      Delete
    6. I wish people can just stop asking!* sighs*
      You are def going to have your rainbow babies! It is well with youπŸ’•

      Delete
    7. It's well with you, don't give up,
      You will testify soon

      Delete
    8. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—
      Your testimony is here πŸ’•

      Delete
    9. I am so sorry about this. Last year I had 3 miscarriages. 3 in one year. I thought I would die. I still trust God. He has not changed and won't start now. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. Other times I try to cheer myself up. God will bless us with our rainbow babies. Amen.

      Delete
    10. Read about low dose aspirin for people who have had pregnancy loses ,75mg till 36weeks

      Delete
  9. I had a miscarriage 6 weeks ago, my first pregnancy. Nothing prepares you for this kind of pain. I have learnt to stop blaming myself and I have gone from crying everyday to weekly and now biweekly. Taking each day as it comes and looking up to God for strength πŸ™πŸΌ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. may the Lord heal your heart

      Delete
  10. I personally can relate with the miscarriage pain,especially if it was a planned pregnancy.I lost my first pregnancy and had to be induced to give birth to dead child.I didnt even wanna know the sex,it was toooooo painful.Thank God for family support and Gods blessings afterwards.Na family planning things now..lol! For every woman who has suffered a similar loss or is TTC,May God answer your heartfelt prayers.He sees ur secret tears and will answer when its time.Hold on and have faith!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Congrats Toolz and congrats in advance to all mothers TTCing.
    I wish toolz can pull back her hair to show her facial structure..this hairdo does no justics

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of StellaDimokoKorkus.com

Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact Stelladimokokorkus.com and corrections will be made..

If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact StellaDimokoKorkus.com Via

Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com
Mobile Phone +4915210724141