Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Thursday, July 01, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmm.....







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED


Hello Stella


 I’ll be needing your advice and that of the lovely BVs . Please bear with me for the lengthy write up and mistakes.

I’m a 29 yr old lady from a south south state and I met a 42 yrs old divorced American on a dating site, let’s call him Mr A.

Honestly I was surprised he carried on with our chat when I told him I’m Nigerian living in Nigeria. Mr A is very romantic, caring, funny, jovial ,he understands me so well and he is very intelligent ( these are some of the things I like about him). He has a son whom I have talked to in so many occasions and he likes me.

We started chatting on the 28th of July 2020, in November he started making plans to come to Nigeria in December but his friend was diagnosed of covid and Mr A and his son was told to go on isolation and 14days later they tested negative to covid but I think he got scared and he canceled his trip to Nigeria.


 He hasn’t flown since the pandemic started, he took the option of no flying and half pay since March last year and he was supposed to resume work February this year but something happened. ( story for another day).

Next month will make it 1 year we started talking and I’m scared that I am wasting my time waiting for him. Though I have told him we can meet in Dubai or even Ghana if he’s scared of coming to Nigeria, but he said he isn’t that he has flown to worst countries ( he is a pilot), he believes the media are exaggerating the insecurity in Nigeria 🀣. 


He is asking me to be patient that he’ll definitely come to Nigeria but he also said he’ll understand if I can’t wait .

We talk everyday and we’ve discussed everything, from the type of wedding to the number and name of children. How he’ll support me if I decide to further my education and we both agreed that I won’t be a stay at home mom. EVERYTHING!

Am I wasting my time waiting for him? What should I do to convince him to come soon ?or should I date other guys and how do I go about it because I find myself comparing other guys to Mr A and I end up ignoring them because I always find something wrong with them. 

What should I do ???




*So you have established beyond reasonable doubt that he is genuine? Did you also find out why he is divorced? Just asking eh cos these American men get nut wey loose for head oh...
Did you discuss if he owns a gun and how he feels about Domestic Violence? Please just ask cos there is a lot of gun violence related to DV that side...

Lastly ask yourself why you want to wait for him.... Is it because you want to travel to America or because you are genuinely in love with him?. I ask because love has no timeframe and you are counting as if time is disappearing....

Remember say that it is not only Nigerian men that are serial lovers oh... Are you the only one he is talking with?  Your woman intuition should tell you what to do!

Good luck!

73 comments:

  1. This thing they smell like scam oo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stella has said all I wanted to say. Let me not repeat it. Let it not be like I am discouraging you. All the best poster.

      Delete
    2. Since he can't fly to Nigeria, why he invite you over? Why didn't he agree to you guys meeting in other countries?

      You just paused your life for over 1year just because you heard he's in America? I hope he's also sending you chop money?

      Delete
    3. Poster, try to watch that program called "catfish".

      Delete
    4. Even Kalvin posed as a divorced American doctor with a son until a Nigerian who knows him and his many tricks outed him and he blocked immediately to move to his next victim. Better be careful than cry here.

      Delete
    5. It may not be scam. Bt she should have option B

      Delete
    6. This boy fit dey your street. #localyahoo

      Delete
  2. Love in America πŸ€“
    Better get yourself a man here if you already do not have one so you don’t be the loser at the end of the day.
    If later on he comes around, good. Na to find way discharge the other guy πŸƒπŸΏ‍♀️πŸƒπŸΏ‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
  3. If he can't come to naija,he should invite you over. Nobody should waste your time. Have a plan B

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He actually asked me if I can come to the US and he was willing to sponsor my trip. But I have tried traveling out of the country thrice and I was denied visa. I don’t want to go through the pain again.

      Delete
    2. Keep trying to go the us but are you sure he isn't a fraudster and have you tried seeing him on video call, try seeing him on video call to confirm he's real

      Delete
    3. My sister I will suggest that since you have tried. It proves that both of you are not meant to be together. He has also tried coming. It's not working.

      Delete
  4. One year and you haven’t both met physically, you are the only one pushing for him to come. Why isn’t he actively making plans for you both to meet up. And he even says he will understand if you can’t wait after one year. Pls Ma wake up and smell the coffee you are dating yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Clarity, they met during the pandemic, how exactly do you expect him to risk his life especially when most boarders were shut up on till recently ?

      It’s still not safe traveling right now ,there are new variant of covid flying around .

      Delete
  5. St Elsewhere Phoenix1 July 2021 at 15:22

    Poster Stella raised salient points. Please read her footnote very carefully and then decide. You see that word INTUITION she mentioned. Never joke with it, it is never wrong. All the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which intuition? Someone whose VPN is already in America, someone is talking intuition? I laugh I HD

      Delete
  6. He said he would understand if you cant wait" Baba don Japa.so all this while you dont have a backup or a plan B? SMH

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Women and back up plan, awon set Eka Joy

      Delete
  7. this is why i dont like online dating. waste of time. all the best o

    ReplyDelete
  8. Stella asked some of the questions I wanted to ask.
    'He has a son, who likes you" ; right? A son with whom, which woman?
    Or you think that the son was born for him by a goat?
    In all these narration, I did not see the mention of God, Jesus, prayers,
    are you waiting till things go skewed and obtuse before you involve him?
    A lot of people make these mistakes. They take major decisions in their lives
    in outright disregard for God. Only to turn round and blame him when things go
    wrong.
    All you see now is "going to America and flying the world with this pilot..."
    But nne, there is more to that. There is more to life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which God or Jesus are you talking about? Sis is already seeing herself in the US, you are there asking Jamb questions? What the abroad will cause with 9ja girls

      Delete
    2. SDK need to have a like click
      Apt ✅

      Delete
  9. Since you met on a dating site, please do not rule out the fact that it could also be a Scam. Have you tried to check him out on other social platforms including LinkedIn? I would not advise you to wait for him. You might not be in love with him as you think, you are just lonely. Try to think of what you want for yourself. Be clear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true. I have seen plenty Nigerians posing as whites online. But the genuine ones I've seen (young guys tho) aren't really interested in dating someone in a faraway continent but we're still cool and I investigate to know they are real. Poster are you his Facebook friend now. If you are very observant you can spot real from fake

      Delete
    2. Anon the ones that talk on video nko? Scam too?

      Delete
  10. The struggle to go to America is real. I am still looking to see and know what
    is confusing you. Looks like your feminine intuition is talking sense and you
    are doing everything to suppress her.
    Keep suppressing her o, cos his son that loves you (wondering his age and kind of "love?")
    does not have a mother. And if you were in the mother's shoes, you will like another woman to
    come in and marry your baby daddy (while your gun is idle eh?)
    You think America is called a cowboy country for nothing. Isn't it where I live?
    You tactfully avoided mentioning his "wife"/baby mama of the son?
    Hoo, hoo, hoo...please don't deny us the unfolding chroni-drama when it is set
    and all directed by you, staring you and produced by you. 😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜

    ReplyDelete
  11. Babes! Borrow yourself some brain and start real dating. This one na SCAM. Awww, I understand you want a better life abroad but you see this one...Na BIG scam.

    ReplyDelete
  12. On line love,and you have already taken it to marriage.Hmmmm Nne trade with caution ooh...

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  13. dude is very married, u go wait tire. Git scared indeed, why are you so naive at your age?

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  14. Scam, scammer, scammest. O je Japa.

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  15. Don't put 100 perc of your heart into it,so you don't get shocked if it starts looking like a scam

    ReplyDelete
  16. Madam you will soon be asked to send money lol. this same narrative happened to my friend long story i dont have strength to type, be wise as a serpent

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He’s the one sending me money not the other way round. The only time I asked he money, he sent it in less than 2hrs and even add extra. So it’s not what you think.

      Delete
    2. 16.05 he's probably prepping you for the big ask, for which you wouldn't be comfortable to say no cos you feel he's sent you money in the past. Just be careful is my advice. Good luck.

      Delete
  17. POSTER Please just go with stella's advice and ask yourself those valid questions. Dont be carried away by AMERICANA O

    ReplyDelete
  18. Poster this na format ooo, in fact na Naija scammer be that, you are being cat-fished... Do come back and tell us we were wrong ok...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Have you done VIDEO CALL with him??????????then he should invite you over but im smell a RAT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good question. Have you at least done a video call?

      Delete
    2. Even the invite over is dangerous. If something happens who will she cry to? What will she say she went there to do? This one is not relocation o.

      Delete
  20. Just to clarify some things, he told me he asked for a divorce from his wife cos she’s lazy and always getting angry and breaking things in the house. He also admitted he was always traveling not spending time with his ex. And for those who think he’s scam, we talk everyday on video call, VN Nd text.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Babes since you can't get visa to travel out, you should plan a trip to dubai or some other place so you guys can meet. If you've got a passport, it shouldn't take long. If he comes up with some excuse then... 🚢‍♀️🚢‍♀️🚢‍♀️

      Not every American on dating sites are scammers, sure but some are just catching cruise. Goodluck

      Delete
    2. are you kidding me? he asked for a divorce over these flimsy excuses? and you are here in love he s not even divorced i pity you you think he will suddenly stop trvelling and spend time with you> there you have your answer> i see america is hungring you> even to see you in dubai< he no gree> you go soon reach forty dey there dey wait

      Delete
    3. What does your inner man say? No matter how you suppress it, it has the whole truth.

      What kind of marriage do you want? Long lasting, blissful and peaceful or happy-for-the-moment marriage. Honey, please calm down. If I tell you that you know nothing about this man, will you agree? Are there things about you he doesn't know? Same way there are things about him you don't know. Important things fa.

      Have you ever taken this to God in prayers? Why do you want to make this milestone decision of your life without God. Please, calm down and really hear from God before making any move.

      Delete
  21. Listen to your heart girl. If only bv’s married in the abroad will give you honest advise, you have nothing to fear, but will they? They themselves their own dey dem body, na packaging all of them they carry about, won’t let us hear word

    ReplyDelete
  22. Poster ... Majority voice carries the vote . You av heard o.

    ReplyDelete
  23. This is how one just scam me o. Lying about being in America and having a daughter and his mother in Nigeria. Before you know it accident don and money is needed. Scammers everywhere. God help us.

    ReplyDelete
  24. When a man tells you, "I will understand, if you can't wait" my dear, he has pass his message.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Look for a backup plan just in case cos hmmmm. Anyway, he might be real or maybe he has simply gotten tired of you and moved on and you're here still waiting. Sha be actively looking elsewhere

    ReplyDelete
  26. I know I’m new at this internet dating thing but why would he lie to me ? I never begged for his love or attention, he gave them freely, I know I’m an attractive lady, 85% of my family stay abroad so it’s really not about traveling abroad. I just want a romantic man that understands me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. so why are you asking for our advice since you"ve made up your mind> continuee

      Delete
    2. Okay, just be cautious and prayerful is all.

      Delete
    3. twenty nine years looking for a man with baggage because you"re looking for a romantic man> i pity you> you think romance is the ultimate quality for a lasting marriage> as if you can buy yourself flowers or perfumes>dey there i pray your eyes will not clear when its too late>you"re in love yet it seems the man no send you as you send am> person wey you never see< you do dey form love and romantic> girl you are dating yourself

      Delete
    4. Honey since 85% of your family stay in road, if you have some that lives in his city, ask them to help you do thorough investigation. That was what my cousin did for me only to find out that as Stella rightly said the knot in the head of the said guy don loose tey tey, he sniffs cocaine, smokes and do drugs and feels since its once in a while, it wasn't bad....infact, what my cousin feel its a big deal was nothing like to him because its no big deal for them over there. Told my cousin and her hubby to go over to his state and ask some questions.... I quickly japa my dear....and he is very very romantic and sends me money too but I can't manage what I can't manage biko.

      Delete
    5. Anon 18:00 has nailed it, since you have people over there, have them conduct a thorough investigation, let them hire a PI if possible, it will cost money but it is better you lose money confirming than getting involved in something that can complicate your life. Don't conclude that he is a fraud or a scam and don't put all your hopes on him till you have received feedback. All the best.

      Delete
  27. aunty, you better remove your mind from that relationship oh, e get why. for the guy to tell you that he would understand if you cant wait, nne na confirm red light be that oh.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Me:Pours cold water on OP so that she can wake up

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hey chic, abeg, find man here. Leave that man. E fit be yahoo.

    Have you seen a man in love? He'll do just about anything, I mean anything to be with the woman he loves. This one is dragging feet. You are the one even putting pressure. Forget him totally. To me oo, he's fake. He gave you heads up when he said that if you can't wait, move on. Babe, move on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You’re so right Jechix.
      Poster just be careful even as you’re mind is made up. I started online dating as well this year and I met this Caucasian guy. We did the video calls and all and thought it was time to meet. On the day of meet and greet, I nearly fainted when I saw him. He was disabled😒. I asked all the right questions or so I thought but I never asked are you disabled ? I’ve made up everything that could possibly make someone loose interest in you from poor finances to wanting to get married in less than a month but he’s more like we die here. Already offering I move in with him and all😭😭😭. Just be careful.we show the best of us while dating online which may not be who we really are.

      Delete
  30. This sounds like you've been cat fished. Have you ever spoken to him and his son on video call? I hope you haven't sent him nude or money. Be opened to dating others without intimacy just incase. I don't know if this is possible in Nigeria but you can write to the American embassy with proof that you are in a relationship with him and ask for a background check.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I won't join almost everybody to discourage you. A lot are speaking from a place of experience but then your case might be different. Sometimes we find love in the most awkward places. You obviously love this guy but to be on the safe side, date a guy here also. There is absolutely nothing wrong in dating more than one person when you are single but then, that doesn't mean you should go and sleep with every guy in your neighborhood...ooo

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  32. Funny enough,I feel he is genuine.give him a little time please.

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  33. It might be real . Give it some time ,

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  34. If you take advice here ehn, you could easily lose ur soul mate.

    Like some others have said, find a way to do a little digging. Don't follow people that have concluded he's scam just because he says he's America based to conclude as well.

    Not all divorced people are terrible people, some divorcees are not the demons people want you to believe just because they are divorced.

    That being said, I hope you make the right decision

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your first paragraph is apt!!!

      See how everyone is so sure he's scam!!!!

      Na wa ooooh

      Delete
  35. Long distance relationship is a no no for me. E get why. Yours is even coupled with someone not your tribe and culture. Girl, be wise. You're too grown up to be entertaining this. Time no dey abeg.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Poster , it all depends on you and how you feel about him,I personally won’t advise you to rule him out 🀷🏻‍♀️

    I met my now husband online(he’s from the US ) , we dated for a little over two years before we finally met. It’s not as if we don’t want to meet but he was constantly deployed to the Middle East and I was back in the England . As soon as he went back to the US we decide it was time to meet in person ..he’d visit me In πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ from Time to time and as time went by I’d return the visit .we dated for 5 years before we finally got married two years ago ,we currently have a new born.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Poster this is a very risky venture oh, I suggest you start having a guy on the side here before your ticket cut oh and you'd have invested everything in it.. it won't be funny ohh... be very smart...#BeWise

    ReplyDelete
  38. Poster he is real, give it time. I met a divorcΓ©e who lives in North America online las year and we met. He is a good guy.

    ReplyDelete

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