Hmmmm...
BOLD MOVE
Dear Stella.....
My husband made me think I was infertile.
I went through fertility tests alone. He refused to go with me to the clinic. He claimed I should go check my womb because nothing is wrong with him.
I was going through his things one day and I saw his no sperm count result that he hid. I didn't even fight him or let him know what I saw.
I told him I had to travel out of Nigeria for a course. I started dating someone else. The first s#x we had, I got pregnant and had twins. I blocked my husband everywhere. He has been searching for me but I no send. I have a new life and family in this country now. I'm not coming back to Nigeria.
*Have you not been in contact with your family?
You get liver.... You try. The man you married was a devil in disguise. it is still happening today to so many women who are TTC and I pray they will get closure from their pain like you did.
Some human beings are terrible!!!
ReplyDeleteReally terrible, people no de fear God again oh, not even the fear of HIV, you just met someone and started having unprotected sex, and ure a married woman oh, this is why communication is key in any r/ship, why didnt u tell him your newfound discovery and then divorce him properly.
DeleteYou and your husband are dogs
Motherhood/Parenthood is good and desirable but there is life after that. Now you have babies, praise God. So what next? I hope you have good plans.
DeleteYou are a bloody fool, as if you won’t do worse, is the man not worse, u still brought your stupid judgemental self to judge the woman as usual. okponu ayerada’
DeleteSome men are terrible! Concealing such a thing from your wife to appear like a healthy man? This life is confusing... Is it not when you open up, help will come. Concealing it will cause unprecedented delay and mixed feelings.
DeleteChineke!
Biko who is the terrible one here? That you put a woman through pain going crazy wondering what was wrong with her is not terrible enough? Some people are just evil!... when a wife cheats she is thrown out but when her husband cheats she is asked to go into prayers... everyone should do what pleases them.
DeleteIt's so easy to blame people when you haven't walked in thier shoes and even if you'd have done better, she's still not you.people are different.
DeletePoster, you were hurt? Yes, but kindly let him know you have moved on, get a proper divorce so he too can move on.
You may see this as some form of punishment but you are trying yourself down. Free him and free yourself
I cannot even judge you because you are not the first, a lot of infertile men out there blaming their wives for their misfortune.
ReplyDeleteWhy not divorce him and move on with a clear conscience. What he did was wrong, but you also cheated on him.
ReplyDeleteSpot on
DeleteHmmmm...he should continue searching for you in this life and after life... face front and take care of your God given twins
ReplyDeleteBabe I would have loved if you told him what you discovered.
DeleteSome men are terrible sha. That is how you would have been running different tests until you run into depression.
I've seen plenty cases of men acting this way. Some will even tell you they have impregnated a girl before forgetting there's something like secondary infertility.
You did well but I think it's time to come out of hiding. Send divorce papers to him on the ground that he deceived you.
Spot on
DeleteWickedness!!!
ReplyDeleteHe deserves what you did,you tried ehh!
Revenge served cold.
ReplyDeleteMy dear 1st let me say congratulations to you. However contact your ex and divorce him properly, don't let his doings change you into a vengeful person. He did you wrong because that's who he is, take the high route and do things properly.
ReplyDeleteI like what you did poster, anyone that judges you should go through what u went through...hopefully they say Amen😁
ReplyDeleteLive your life, your ex should treat himself n try his luck here as well.
Here comes the double standard, how many of you will tell your husbands you have fertility issues due to an abortion whether once or twice . You all become “Team take it to the grave “ when it’s a woman but will head to the slaughter house when it’s a Man
DeleteSee your twisted mouth like abortion. Common gerraway. If only u know how many men play away matches just to get kids you will sharaaap.
Delete16:13 I will tell him o, i told my Husband everything he needed to know before we tied the knot.
DeleteWho has time for lies and secrecy?
16:13, you are so right. The truth you've put forth is hurting some people bitterly. They can't stand to read or hear the truth. That's why society is the way it is today.
Delete16:13 sharrap. So the abortion I did na immaculate conception? Una dey tell una wife's say girl do abortion for una? Mtchewwwe
DeleteI once worked in a Hospital and this particular lady kept coming for various kinds of fertility test/treatment. We got talking one day and in the course of that I found out her husband has never done a single test. I told her to stop going to hospitals and nothing was wrong with her. She almost died of hbp because of worry. She heeded my advice and stopped going to hospitals.
ReplyDeleteI saw her about 2 years ago... heavily pregnant!!! She invited their both parents and said she was fed up and wanted out and that she was going to stay on the grounds that the man goes for semen analysis.
Brothers and sisters in the Lord... her husband's sperm was 🤐🤐🤐.
After treatment e no reach 4 months belle enter.
Imagine if he had done the tests together with her! They would have had kids long before that!
DeleteI hope people are reading and learninh oo
Imagine ooo and the woman was stressing herself for nothing..
DeleteSome men just automatically blame the women
DeleteWhat your husband did is a legal ground for annulment but you chose to play the piper. You are just as bad as him, if not worse.
ReplyDeleteTrue..
DeleteHer sins are stacked up..
Adultery.
Lying (just as her husband).
Ghosting without an explanation.
Bigamy loading (if she gets married)
Perxian, there is wisdom in what you said. May the lord bless you and fill you with more wisdom.
DeleteI love what she did..
DeleteHe should pay for what she went through..
U have not seen the way some blame and treat a their ttc wives..u will cry for them
Georgina, professor grammar
Delete@Perxian
DeleteBeautiful Truth.
Kudos.
Just let him know you're now a proud mother of twins and that you saw where he hid his no sperm count medical report. Then ask him who's now with the fertility problem. Most men are too proud to accept the fact that they're the problem and let the women go through the emotional trauma, it's now your turn to let him know that you don't have any problem
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Story of a lot of people TTCing. The woman will be blaming herself , carrying tests up and down, but how many tests has the man done? Both parties ought to carry out tests. Not just one partner.
ReplyDeletePoster try contact him so he can know the marriage is over and why. He did not do well by hiding it but don't just ghost him. I hope other people learn from this.
@Bini, if any man in a marriage refuses to go for a test while they are TTCing and leaves his wife to be doing series of test, then that marriage is a failed marriage in my opinion, simple.
DeleteMost (Nigerian) Men behave like this, because a foundation has already been laid and ingrained in the African patriarchal society that the problem of fertity will always be the woman's fault and so she alone most bear the consequences,.. Tell me, then why would the demi-gods go for fertility tests with their wives??
DeleteYou are so wrong as two wrongs don't make any right!!! You should have divorced him first or better still, do it now and free yourself completely. Yes, what he did to you hurts but please do the right thing and walk.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Well said.
DeleteI don't know why most couples are not open to their partners, if you have a discussion about it you guys will just adopt there are so many options nd still stay married
ReplyDeleteIf they are not open to one another for something as serious as starting a family, they have no business being married.
DeleteIf a man can't open up, no need marrying the lady.
DeleteSo much empathy for your unfaithful husband. Nice to know that
ReplyDeleteyou still referred to him as "my husband."
However, lady, what you did is still adultery.
If you've made up your mind not to live with him anymore, you could have
followed a different route and made it legal; spiritually and civil legality.
Now, you've judged him guilty of "perceived unfaithfulness" and you are also guilty
of unfaithfulness; adultery.
The country you are in is not heaven. May heaven be your goal dear and not kids or any place
else on earth.
I forgot to add, call this man and tell him what you've done and let him decide his fate.
ReplyDeleteI concur 👏👏
DeleteHope you know that if you marry this present catch of yours, it is called Bigamy?
ReplyDeleteA sin and a crime in almost every country of the world.⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖
This is premium ghosting. Abeg try reach out to him so he too can move on with his life before the guy runs mental from looking for you. Youve6 served him long enough. Biko free him.
ReplyDeleteMennn! He was wrong but don't do the same thing. Do things the proper way.
ReplyDeleteWow, just walked out like that. You have guts. Dishonesty is such a disgusting trait that there is no point even listening to a dishonest person cause it's all stories.
ReplyDeleteImagine encouraging someone to even go as far as even taking medication they don't need just so you can hide. A dishonest person deserves no conversation.
You and your husband are two sides of the same coin, he deceived you, you deceived him, you deceived another (your current husband) because I am sure you did not tell that one the truth you see! for your peace of mind you need to divorce your husband properly because before God and man you are and still married to your deceit of a husband.
ReplyDeleteBeebumble, thank you very much for your honest response. Many here are not courageous and honest enough to call it the way you've done.
DeleteGod bless you Beebumble. They are birds of a feather 🪶.
Delete👏👏👏
DeleteTell him the truth and live freely.
ReplyDeleteBe open and let him know you've moved on. Doing that will give you inner peace.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that there are lots of comments justifying the Poster's behavior scares me.
ReplyDeleteWould you all have reacted this same way if it was a man that put up this story?
Wrong is wrong regardless of the Gender involved.
May God have mercy on you all.
In all honesty, I would react the same if the man did this to a dishonest wife.it ain't about the gender,if you play dirty,be ready for anything! people react differently to stimulus.reactions can't be conditioned.he who fetches firewood should be ready to welcome 🦎.
DeleteStart from the beginning to the end and count the people supporting the poster and those blaming her, come back and tell us which is higher ehn? Cos just few comments re in support of her but most women here are blaming her.So where did u get your own judgement from.
DeleteSome of you are always ready to look for an avenue for unnecessary childish gender war.
Poster you are a strong woman 🙌
ReplyDeletePoster You should at least annul the marriage..Going this route will not make you heal properly. In your sub-conscious, you will be deeply hurt and you will just be exactly like him..Yes he hurt you which is very very bad of him; however you should not change who you are because of what someone did to you..
ReplyDeleteReach out to your parents, let them arrange a meeting and annul that marriage, yes you will win the case because the marriage was premised on the deceit and lies...You will be married to 2 men by law which is bigamy in the obodo oyibo land..Listen to the voice of reasoning. I can assure you if you do this, you will have pure bliss in your new marriage...All the best...
Best advice 👍
Deleteposter dont allow anyone guilt trip you. You have done well. You are brave and bold and took ownership of your destiny. Tell your family however what has happened and that they should return his brideprice to him and they should tell him why.
ReplyDeleteIts better yours and his family hears the reasons behind your actions than he finds out and concocts a story claiming paternity of your kids or painting you as an unfaithful woman because, i dont see you as one.
For lots of women ttc and have successfully gotten pregnant after stepping out on their husbands, be rest assured that these men know that you have stepped out. They just dont want to speak up for shame........however, some are saving that card to then throw the DNA scandal on you in the future so be careful
I won't say congrat o. Why don't you be truthful for once and tell him what you know and then go your own separate ways.
ReplyDeleteBoth of you are the same no difference.
You did wrong by not telling him and his family.
Anyway enjoy your new life and take beautiful care of your lovely twins
Years after you are still calling him my husband. There's no difference between the two of you. Deception flows in his blood and yours. You are not not truly happy, if you are ,you won't be writing chronicles. You cheated on your husband, let's call it what it is. You are not a saint. You sincerely think he is still looking for you, he knows what you did. We live in world where information is fluid and move very fast. Yes, he was wrong, but you are the one who opened your legs for another man while married. Bigamy is a crime, you better go divorce him and move on.
ReplyDeleteAt Alexander, both of them are as bad as each other, they both deserve each other... Her sin ain't bigger than his in anyway... I do not not condone either behaviour, but that is Nigeria for you, they all deserve each other, lying, cheating, entitled, dark.. Society... I have no words!
DeletePoster, I am happy you have found happiness. I plead with you to dissolve your marriage and move on with your life. A lawyer will be the intermediary communicating with him and his family.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations once again!!
Poster, tell your parents everything so that they can return the bride price. Call and tell your husband that you have moved on after they return the bride price please. Ask God to forgive you.
ReplyDeleteWhilst still married to my ex for 10years, i pressurised him so bad to test himself and found out he was just firing blanks. Did you know he knew all along that he had sterile issues but hid it? He even suggested i got pregnant outside and dt he'd keep our secret....long story short, i moved on, remarried and have 2 sets of twins (guess i got twins from all the drugs i swallowed during TTCing)
ReplyDeletePoster you are strong! Try to divorce him.
ReplyDeleteI guess you are not to be legally married to your baby daddy/boyfriend.
What a woman! I like you joor...
I wish every foolish and wicked husband who treats their wives this way gets this kinda treatment.
Speechless!
ReplyDeleteIn everything you do, remember there’s a God we give account to at the end of our lives in this temporary space
Heaven should be our main focus
Let the fear of God be our guide in everything.
My friend I actually going through same thing now, she has tested and gotten tired, Mr. Man is claiming nor talking to her, so she won't be bringing up the topic, he wants her salary and claims what will the child eat, as if the wife isn't working.
ReplyDeleteI have told her to give him two options, adopt or use sperm donor, since she knows he has low sperm count and hiding it. Our Nigerian men are terrible...
Dear poster,oga is in the mud and you have come out victorious! I guess in reaction you went cold and vengeful!it is time to purge yourself else you internalise the negative emotions.time to set yourself free darling.
ReplyDeleteYou people have mind oh. I recently ghosted a guy I've been talking with for like 2 weeks. Not a boyfriend, not a relationship. Just talking stage. 2 weeks only and I was feeling guilty like I should have texted or called and said I'm sorry but I need to stop communicating... Only to log in here and see someone ghost a whole husband. Wow. At least send email naa.
ReplyDeleteOshey 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼badest!!!!twale
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