Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: CHRONICLES OF A MARRIED MAN – 40

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Sunday, August 29, 2021

CHRONICLES OF A MARRIED MAN – 40

During my last hitch at work. We were having a chit-chat at the coffee shack during one of the coffee breaks and the conversation got interesting when one of my colleagues brought up a very interesting topic. He was holding a cup of coffee while taking drags from his cigarette when he muttered, “Charlie nor dey stand again!”








He instantly got all of our attention.


 It is a serious matter. 

“Pumpee” as we casually call him wasn’t feeling happy. “Charlie” is the term we have coined when we want to take about our blokos. The term became popular from our onboard cooks who normally use the term to encourage us to eat certain foods. Whenever they say “this food go make Charlie stand well”, be rest assured that everyone will go for such food whether good or bad.

For us men, having a good erection is always a big deal.

I grew up in Warri in an environment where ones’ s#xual prowess was something we always brag about as men. Everyone wants to tell good tales of how well they “performed” and their womb-shifting abilities. 



Guys went to various lengths in getting s#x enhancement drugs and “man power” to boost their performances. I cannot forget the various Samsu cream tales in a hurry. My point is, we men, take our s#xual performance very serious, and having erectile dysfunction is among one of the worst things that can happen to any man.

But the ironic thing these days is that lots of men are actually struggling with erectile dysfunction. But because of the sensitive nature of the topic, nobody wants to talk about it. Lots of time, people resort to self-help. It is even made worse when we hear stuffs like “small stout and groundnut dey make Charlie stand well” or various forms of combinations and concoction just to improve s#xual performance. We just go ahead to take or try them without asking questions.


Many men are dying in silence due to this issue and cannot speak for the fear of what people will think of them. No man wants to be tagged “instant noddle” due to an issue that may not even be a fault of his. My father used to make some herbal drinks that help boost performance then while I was growing up. I could remember how men sneak into our house in the dead of the night just to request for “that thing”

I also will never forget the awkward feeling I had the first time I went to a pharmacy to buy Viagra. After summoning courage to meet the young female pharmacist, I told her that I needed “Sildenafil” (Baba couldn’t even use the word “Viagra” because of shyness). She even made me feel worse by asking me, how many milligrams?

But that experience actually thought me something and I was asking myself; why all the shyness? If I could comfortably walk in a pharmacy or chemist to buy drugs for headaches and other ailments, what then is the big deal in asking for a s#x enhancement drug? I’m sure you also want to know the answer to that question.

So, back to Pumpee’s issue. We asked him what the problem was. He took his time to explain how the whole thing started after he got home from work. He found out that the “thing” wasn’t responding to instruction and motivation. He has been wondering what could be the problem. He kept struggling with it over time to the point that he starting losing taste for s#x and even feeling less of a man.

It was a sad tale to listen to; and the way he was puffing his cigarette while narrating the whole story even made it all very awkward. But then men will always be men. The round of questioning and probing started. “Have you tried using drugs, have you seen a doctor, did you try other women, are you not sure it’s village people…?” It went on and on. At the end of the day, we all came up with different suggestions. I hope Pumpee is feeling better now. Because “Charlie must stand ooo, or wahala go dey”

I am not a medical practitioner and issues like erectile dysfunction (ED) may result from a whole cocktail of issues or reasons. But I will just share my opinions on the issue.

ED just like any other ailment, can happen to anybody irrespective of their tribe, religion, race and in some cases age. It used to be prevalent in older men but these days; the vices of constant drug abuse or overuse of sex enhancement drugs, porn addiction and excessive masturbation has made it even more common among young men. The one universal fact remains that your sexual performance will wane as you age. Men need to take it easy on themselves.

The kind lifestyles people lead is another issue these days. We eat and drink anything, get obese and expect to still be supermen in bed. We are jokers. I gained 15kg within a space of two years. Naturally my performance dropped. I knew I had to do something about my lifestyle. It’s a struggle that I have to face but the realities stared at me.

Psychology plays a huge role in these things too. There’s the fact that after spending years together with their partner, lots of men lose taste in the wives. Yea, it happens…deny all you want but it happens. It will take a lot of psychological effort and discipline for such men to keep the sexual temple they once had with their wives and one of the first victims of such dry spells is “Charlie”. The onus now lies on the man to always see his wife as s#xually attractive to him.

Another angle to the psychology issue is that sense of inadequacy lots of men feel when they can’t get proper erection. They feel they less of a man. And this can affect the performance in other areas of the life and career. In such cases, they need the support of the women in their lives in navigating through such trying times.

In all these, I encourage men going through such challenges to seek specialist help and speak out because you can never tell who might help you. A simple reassurance from a good friend can even solve the problem without the need to take drugs. In took constant reassurance from me years ago, in encouraging my friend mine who was passing through such issue to get his mojo back.

And one last thing. There is absolutely nothing wrong in taking s#x enhancement drugs, just follow the guidance of a trained practitioner, use it in a proper way and don’t abuse it. When people get headaches or other ailments, they seek help and take drugs. Having an erectile dysfunction shouldn’t be seen as something different. Nor let anybody shame you…you nor kill person.


We go see next week.


Ciao!

33 comments:

  1. How many milligrams? ๐Ÿ˜‚
    Please how many milligrams did you later buy?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. Writer left out a tiny detail like was he with his wife or side chick when him tin no stand

      Delete
  3. When someone is a coffee, tobacco (and possibly alcohol) addict, I find it awkward that the person isn't expecting
    erectile dysfunction (ED) and more.
    Foremost, we all probably know that tobacco and alcohol can do it (even reduce a woman's fertility). The one that might be surprising is coffee.
    Chronic (long term) intake of coffee has been proven in a recent (2021) study in Australia to be responsible for
    certain neuronal problems like Alzheimer's and to add to that, cardiovascular diseases, even "stroke." Yes, I am a medical person and I know that it is a matter of time
    before more truths can come out. How does ED come in here? Good question. they are all neuronal conduction related (nerve conduction/transmission of information/impulses). Sexual impulses are both neuronal and hormonal. But erection is more of a neuronal thing; particularly sympathetic neuronal transmission.
    The refined sugar in coffee is another issue altogether. (you can watch "fifth estate; secrets of sugar" on Youtube)

    One test that your friend need to do urgently is FBS (fasting blood sugar) to rule out diabetes. Any doctor he meets will do that first and fast.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 13:23 I'm a regular coffee taker o, I'm lactose intolerant so I rely on coffee ALOT; like I can take 3 cups a day plus I live in jos and the weather is always cold, abeg hope I won't have any side effect in the future.

      Help your sister with some advice biko.

      Delete
    2. @Sandra
      Why not drink plant milk alternatives like Soymilk instead? There are plenty of soy bean in the North and you can help yourself.
      And above all, do not just be afraid of the "problems in the future" but prepare for your eternal future by being in Christ.
      Cheers.

      Delete
    3. Stay away from soy and it’s derivatives. They can lead to hormonal imbalances in women.

      Delete
    4. @15:59
      Quoting which source? Phytoestrogens in soy isn't a problem for the body to metabolize. Search before commenting.
      How about people in southern America and Africa and Chinese/Indians that use Soybean as their main staple food, do their women have hormonal
      imbalances? They are the most fertile people on earth. In fact, most Indians do not drink Animal milk, but soymilk only.
      Do not forget that these are the most populated places on earth.

      Delete
  4. The rooster is coming home to roost. When you and your friends make a past time of sampling
    women like abacha and nkwocha, what do you expect?
    Apart from the consequences of breaching the matrimonial trust playing out, how about the ST diseases playing out overtime? You men can brag a whole lot about how much of a stud and sexual performance powerhouses you are. Some ladies (your kind) will also brag about how many men's fecundities they have rendered useless. Yes, it goes around and comes around too. One word I have for you and your married friends is this; Repent!!✋✋✋✋✋✋✋

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On this one, I agree with you. And I’m wondering why he is encouraging the use of sex enhancement. Sir, I think that’s dangerous because anyone can pick that line (ignoring the rest of the sentence) and work with that. When issues fall out, Stella’s blog will be quoted. I would have rather you encouraged the loss of weight, healthy living and lifestyle.

      Delete
    2. I learnt a new word today - fecundity, thanks anon. And yes, I agree with your comment. Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind.

      Delete
  5. Do you know the side effects of sildenafil? That thing can pack up your heart with one thrust.
    And seeing that your friend is already a smoker makes it worse. The appalling thing here is that
    in Nigeria, any drug can be bought over the counter. It is really sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Sidenafil is OTC now in the UK and Ireland the Republic. But one must have a ones off consultation with the Pharmacist like me...

      Delete
  6. Na smoking ๐Ÿšฌ๐Ÿšญ kill Charlie. Your friend never ready. Make e still dey smoke dey go ๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
  7. Life style changes helps. If you are living a sedentary lifestyle, always sitting down or lying down , just becoming active and reducing the time you spend sitting and lying down daily will help the health of your dick. Go for walks , at work take multiple breaks from sitting down. This works for all who live sedentary lifestyle. Changing your diet helps too.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Proverbs 5:18-19 NIV
    May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Word! Kudos. I wish I have thumbs up to give you plenty.

      Delete
    2. Make I help u out ๐Ÿ˜œ
      ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

      Delete
    3. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

      Delete
  9. I learned a lot from this chronicle, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You men can brag a whole lot about how much of a stud and sexual performance powerhouses you are. Some ladies (your kind) will also brag about how many men's fecundities they have rendered useless. Yes, it goes around and comes around .

    Copied
    hehehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Most complex
      You too saw that thing wey I see? Amazing!

      Delete
  11. Not him inhaling nicotine and wondering why his penis has stopped working lmao ๐Ÿ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not just nicotine, nicotine with a dose of caffeine from his coffee!.
      And una dey blame village people.
      Maybe at the close of work or during his time off, he’ll be chugging alcohol too.

      Maybe no exercise, poor diet, over reliance on stimulants and you want to add viagra on top.
      If he drops dead tomorrow, they will say his wife killed him. Or blame village people again. Or Buhari. Or Desmond Eliott.

      Delete
  12. If you men lived by the Bible's advice, i.e. no sleeping around or defiling yourselves with disgusting habits such as smoking, excessive drinking of alcohol, drug abuse, etc. you most likely won't be having these problems.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I always roll my eyes when i read this guy's posts. There's just something very annoying about him,his friends,their "fellowship" . Yuck
    Secondly,its not just men who lose sexual attraction in their wives after spending years with them. NEWSFLASH women also lose interest in their husbands after spending years with them. Yea, it happens. Deny it all you want. But the women do not go around sampling every penis that comes around. Stella,if you like don't post as usual. Toodles!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true. Like me, am tayad of my own, i dream of somwthing bigger with better strokes but i would rather divorce than cheat so we dey manage like that.

      Delete
  14. The commandments given to us by God are for our own good, not His.

    Enough said.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Doing all the wrong things and expect peak performance. Ko le werk. Stop the smoking, drinking, adultery, sex enhancements and watch things change. As you get older wisdom must prevail

    ReplyDelete
  16. From Healthcare perspective:According to Mayo Clinic

    "Causes of Erectile Dysfunction
    Male sexual arousal is a complex process that involves the brain, hormones, emotions, nerves, muscles and blood vessels. Erectile dysfunction can result from a problem with any of these. Likewise, stress and mental health concerns can cause or worsen erectile dysfunction.

    Sometimes a combination of physical and psychological issues causes erectile dysfunction. For instance, a minor physical condition that slows your sexual response might cause anxiety about maintaining an erection. The resulting anxiety can lead to or worsen erectile dysfunction.

    Physical causes of erectile dysfunction
    In many cases, erectile dysfunction is caused by something physical. Common causes include:

    Heart disease
    Clogged blood vessels (atherosclerosis)
    High cholesterol
    High blood pressure
    Diabetes
    Obesity
    Metabolic syndrome — a condition involving increased blood pressure, high insulin levels, body fat around the waist and high cholesterol
    Parkinson's disease
    Multiple sclerosis
    Certain prescription medications
    Tobacco use
    Peyronie's disease — development of scar tissue inside the penis
    Alcoholism and other forms of substance abuse
    Sleep disorders
    Treatments for prostate cancer or enlarged prostate
    Surgeries or injuries that affect the pelvic area or spinal cord
    Low testosterone
    Psychological causes of erectile dysfunction
    The brain plays a key role in triggering the series of physical events that cause an erection, starting with feelings of sexual excitement. A number of things can interfere with sexual feelings and cause or worsen erectile dysfunction. These include:

    Depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions
    Stress
    Relationship problems due to stress, poor communication or other concerns
    Risk factors
    As you get older, erections might take longer to develop and might not be as firm. You might need more direct touch to your penis to get and keep an erection.

    Various risk factors can contribute to erectile dysfunction, including:

    Medical conditions, particularly diabetes or heart conditions
    Tobacco use, which restricts blood flow to veins and arteries, can — over time — cause chronic health conditions that lead to erectile dysfunction
    Being overweight, especially if you're obese
    Certain medical treatments, such as prostate surgery or radiation treatment for cancer
    Injuries, particularly if they damage the nerves or arteries that control erections
    Medications, including antidepressants, antihistamines and medications to treat high blood pressure, pain or prostate conditions
    Psychological conditions, such as stress, anxiety or depression
    Drug and alcohol use, especially if you're a long-term drug user or heavy drinker."

    So, Educate yourselves, lifestyle modifications and see your doctor for medical issues to be managed.

    ReplyDelete

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