Stella Dimoko Doctor Freaks Journal - Mama Put Food Cooked With Privates Water..


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Saturday, September 25, 2021

Doctor Freaks Journal - Mama Put Food Cooked With Privates Water..

Yesterday, I stumbled into an old newspaper publication of 20 November 2020 with the caption "Woman Who Cooks With Mortuary Water To Attract Customers In Akwa Ibom Arrested."

That "Mama-Put" That You Eat With Relish, Do You Even Know Where The "Water" Came From? 

Interesting times we live in, I must admit. As a younger person, I told an elderly person that the world must have been a better place in "their time" and to my utter amazement, he begged to differ. My older friend shared the view that things were even worse in "their" own time and that it was the people of my generation who were trying to make the world a better place. As a more mature boy today, I couldn't agree more with him.


I was in JSS 3 at the time and there was this moderate "bukateria" (credits to Prof Wole Soyinka) very close to "The School" where the naughty ones like me used to sneak out to, to have a feel of some home-made food.

 The environment was not extraordinary though as it was sited within the precinct of a mechanic workshop, but it was relatively neat. The operator was a beautiful and distinctly neat woman. Before I proceed, let me quickly add that she had a more beautiful daughter, "my first crush!" For me, the attraction was more of the beautiful daughter who helped out at the bukateria. We were of the same age. She was a bit shy but I was even too scared to say hi and no thanks to my childhood buddy -KA who was/is smarter and "more charming" (just that today he looks like a nine-month-old "man") who could summon up the courage to break the ice.

"Jisi" (real names withheld) was a "paragon of beauty!" Mama Jisi bukateria was our (the "Ameco Boys") unusual favourite spot. How we looked forward to having a feel of her delicious dishes! At some point, it was rumoured that she was doing great "demon" (demonic) stuff to attract the kind of huge clientele that she was attracting at the time but who cares right? We were just kids and all we wanted was a good dish, a departure from the "potty" that we were being fed with in the hostel. The rumour persisted but we were unstoppable. 

On a serious note, I noticed some strange looking strands of curly hair in my stew on a few occasions but those could have found their ways there fortuitously, especially if the head of the cook was not properly covered, even though they looked more like hair from the pubic region.

We continued to live in denial until that fateful day when Mama Jisi was reportedly exposed. It's been 34 long years now and my memory may have been slightly distorted. It was alleged that Mama Jisi was cooking with "private part water" to attract customers. I can vividly remember that her bukateria was destroyed by an angry mob and that marked the end of an era.

What about Jisi (my first crush) right? That was the last I ever heard of her.

That now brings me to the meat of my piece. Why is the soul of Man this wicked? Because you want to make money, other people must feed on water from dead people! I can even still deal with Mama Jisi's (please note that this is not an endorsement) after all I hate those dishes for more than two years, but not "mortuary water!"

We've had similar reports in the past, but I'm afraid, nothing serious may have come out of this too, like several others.

How I wish I can avoid all these "Iya Basiras" completely. All those "amala" joints! You know what, that which you don't know won't kill you. The one you ate yesterday, do you even know where they got the water from?

Stay safe!
It's Kunle..


  1. Ewwww private part water? ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคข.

    1. How will you recognise private part hair. Oga abeg no dey add too much spice

  2. Menstrual blood
    Vaginal water
    mortuary water
    Private water
    If it is not "sex charms" it is "to attract customers."
    Hey, what's going on?
    Ladies and gentle ladies, what's going on?
    Hey, please give your lives to Christ and pray on your meals.
    Once these ladies go to mediums, anything evil can come out. And pitiably, no one knows who is at
    the receiving end. Your husband, brother or son may be at the receiving end of
    all these.

  3. There are still several frightening stories like this till date... God help us all

  4. I no dey put mouth for this talk again๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Some months back I asked something similar to this and replies stated that i shouldn't question how people prepare or eat in their family,that they can choose to order food as much as they like... Torr!!!

    I grew up at Aba,saw more than this story with my own eyes at Bakassi,Shoe Plaza etc years ago and you say I should come to Lagos and order for food and keep in my fridge weekly??

    And my kids will be eating same too everyday??

    Okay what about your health? You arent worried about Typhoid??
    And others??

    Chai,Sorry I don write epistle already๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

    Make una order more abeg;you think say everything for life is about money abi?? Torrr!!

    No be say you travel ooo,you dey house;at least I can make excuse for that category of people or parents..

    Abeg make I go hustle for daily bread๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰;this topic na for people wey don chop belleful๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


  5. I heard the story of one very close to where I grew up in Ibadan, she has a live snake in her buka that she fed everyday till she lost her husband and she had to stay at home. The snake had to show face outside when it stopped seeing food๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. The people working in the bukateria called the owner concerning what was happening, she went there immediately and trying to pacify the thing. The snake did not agree with her at all; I guess the taboo is that the snake must not see the sun. The boys around didn't have any of it, they razed the buka to the ground and the owner ran away. I fear eating in those bukateria pass anything because I always feel there's more to the food they sell. If I feel like eating out, I buy only from any popular eatery around.

  6. Hmmmm I don't buy drinks from hawkers around the Ikeja axis since the day I overhead a seller telling her daughter to go to Ikeja GH mortuary to purchase ice blocks for their warm drinks.

  7. May God help all who eats outside...
    Such stories plenty...

    1. I don't eat out. I find it hard..

    2. 99.99% of my food is eating out. The stew in my fridge was even bought so is the soup ๐Ÿคฆ

  8. Sometimes I follow my instincts and if the food is nice and how you treat me pleases me I might come back. Haven't had any stories especially from where I eat outside

  9. All these are fabricated stories. Person no see better market do jazz put na food market. Fire when they case HBP. Cooking and selling of food is one the hardest work on earth. After all that suffering the person will still do jazz to sell. If the person knows to do jazz for customers to come,the person will choose a another business not suffer head .

    1. It's ok if u don't believe it but jazz dae for who waka the waka.u think food business isn't better business, my dear forget it, this people make alot of money from it.they have people who do the major work for them.Even the big eateries some have stories behind. Reason why I don't eat out.crazy world out there.

    2. Thank you. Mr Kunle is a lawyer. Where is the evidence? How can he tell that hair, which may even be found in meals cooked by Michelin star chefs, was intentionally put there to"charm" customers? How much hair is shed from his own privates after a shower that he finds strands periodically in his own plate specifically, numerous times? How much will the Mama Jisi be paying her helpers to keep the secret and not blackmail her and how much will be left as profit? I don't think many people know that selling cooked food has a very slim profit margin especially when your clientele are poor people like boarding school students. How much did Mr Biggs or Cold stone make in profit this year?

      What jazz is ShopRite doing to Garner customers? What did MTN or Infinix do to corner their share of the market? What is Dangote rinsing into his sugar or cement to be the market leader? What magic is DStv beaming through their dish to have you glued? What is Stella typing to have people like Kunle write articles for free and visit the blog daily?

      The mortuary incident may hold some water as long as you have that pinch of salt but stupid poor people burning down a business based on rumor is criminal and should be condemned. The day may come when a certain character will raise a rumor that Kunle is using the "destiny" of his readers to increase his popularity on this blog and also to fuel his law career. That when they read his piece, they fail their exams or lose on a business venture while he keeps achieving. What would be his out then?

  10. Women, some of are he doing same in your matrimonial homes

  11. I remember during my teenage age around Ogba in Lagos one woman who sells Amala ( Iya Isila) was reportedly said to use menses blood to cook her soup which make it reddish, delicious and attracts lots of people patronizing her.

    There was also one that was caught with sick people's bathing water ( she owns an Amala outlet and uses the water to cook) her shop was razed down by boy's in the neighborhood.

    May God help us

    1. My guess is that you also menstrate. How red can a blood discharge contained on a small diaper make a pot of soup of commercial size? If blood was that reddening, will ordinary bathing soap and water be able to wash off it stains off white undies? I hope you were not part of ruining someone's business based on saloon gossip.

    2. Na everyday she dey menstruate?

  12. Where I was living in the base. Stories like this usually hit the streets once in a while. The one that caused a sensation was a woman who fried the best akara in the area those days... The Catholic church had a crusade when the base was experiencing untimely deaths and setbacks, na so the priest begin fire prayer ooo, come see confession from various food vendors but the akara woman own fear me pass. She started crying that she uses blood to fry her akara..that to the naked eyes na ororo but for spiritual realm na blood. Everywhere scatter because the woman in question was a staunch women leader in their church.

    The quest for money is not today's journey. E don tay... God will continue to see us through.


    1. The same nonsense Helen Ukpabio made children"confess". Basic hypnosis and suggestion. We should be better than this by now. That menstrual blood can trump the blood of Jesus? Come on!

  13. I didn't read to the end cos I don't like such disgusting stories.
    One of the reasons I don't like eating out.I rather go hungry than eat anyhow.
    I love home made foods. God bless Mooma for teaching me every every.
    What is food that I cannot Cook?
    Abeg pass me by with 'mama put' or any kind of ' nyama nyama' water.
    Big girl no reach make I no mind wetin I dey chop,make I no use money buy sickness.
    Those evil minds how do they sleep at night?? Spirit of greediness.

  14. That was how madam ekaite was caught using her bathe water to cook jollof rice.

  15. Hmmmm, na waooo, in as much as a lot if things happen, I dont thinking wise to generalise. So many people cut corners through dianoloc ways but it's not everyone please. Just same way you wont say that every young boy in Nigeria is a yahoo boy, I think same analogy applies to this. My mom knows how to cook, shes a very good cook, when her friends kids get married, you need to see how they come to book her to help them out. She never owned a restaurant because my father flatly refused, to his Anambra man mentality,every restaurant owner is a potential adulterous woman so he did not allow, instead he started a business for her. If someone had opened a restaurant, I.make hold to say that the cue there will set tongues wagging, she knows just the fish and crayfish to use to take food taste to another level. Sadly none if us even went that side,we all went to school and are working. Its now that I lost my jo and getting another us proving difficult that I thought of putting the cinary skills I learnt from her to use. My eatery is almost set to open, so tomorrow if I succeed at it,someone will now say I am using something to get people. It's not always the case, people have commended my cooking but I am still not as good as my mom. I intend turning her over for sometime to master some dishes she still make better than me. It's not all jazz, some.people just understand food and how to.make it rasty

    1. Abeg make una bear with the gbagauns, was almost late for church but wanted to send in my opinion after reading the piece. The mistakes are too much to start correcting but generally what I wrote can still be discerned.: Culinary, bringing her over,make bold, diabolical etc

  16. Greed and desperation are terrible motivators

    However in present times a mean competitor can also concoct stories to put the competition out of business

  17. Greed and desperation are terrible motivators

    However in present times a mean competitor can also concoct stories to put the competition out of business

    Always pray before you eat and also for discernment

    Not only for spiritual condiments but also physical I.e white maggi, spoilt ingredients, dirty water and utensils etc


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