Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: The Dark Diary - Part 1

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Thursday, October 14, 2021

The Dark Diary - Part 1

This is the story of a woman trying to find closure from her dark and painful past...

 The Dark Diary is written by a Blog visitor and will be posted once a week.
This may open up wounds for others but the writer wants to heal with this...







 
''Growing up I always kept a diary, but it landed me in trouble because I wrote a lot of things I couldn’t tell people and somehow I didn’t hide it well.

I expressed myself more in my little books then burn it.

I remember when I was still dating my husband, he found my diary when he was waiting for me in my room at the hostel. Oh that man was pained and he cried. LOL

Thanks to technological advancement I am free to write and tell it all the way it really was or is... anonymously.

I grew up in a typical Naija home, full of kids and drama. My mother died early and my father was not hands on deck. To say the truth we were too much to handle.

Food was always available but you have to get to the kitchen early else, people that were not even living in the house ate it all. But, trust my step mother she always kept something for me the baby of the house.

My brothers had their friends over everyday watching Chinese films, playing cards ,snooker, drinking and smoking. My elder sister was always out partying with friends. So we were just three little girls running around playing and running errands for the ‘men’.

Women were always coming in and out of the house and my brothers’ room became a mini brothel with naked women posters hanging on the walls. Posters I was curious to peep it and understand at 10 years old.

They would write a list on a paper and fold then send us off. I was a curious child and I always opened to read- condom, cigarette. One time I was sent off to buy ‘’menstrogen’’ which was quite popular back then as after the ‘’do’’ pill.

They didn’t think it was child abuse and they didn’t even notice when the child started getting abused under their noses.

So I can beat my chest to tell you that, you can have big brothers and not have protection. 

The only protection I had was, no one dared beat me. But they didn’t tell them not to poke their hands in my private part...….

64 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. E hugs for you poster.
      May you find closure writing this.
      I'm looking forward to more.
      No judgement all.

      Delete
    2. divorce, dead of one of the parent,step dad or step mum.. hurt the children very well...

      Delete
    3. Oh yes!!! This would definitely open up old wounds. I'm feeling it already. Burning inside me. Happened to me.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. E hugs poster. May you receive the closure and healing you crave for.

      Delete
    2. Oh! I missed this post..

      A survivor. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ’›

      Delete
  3. Let me follow this story well. Plenti people got poked as kids ,so many messed up ,so many didnt let childhood abuse define. Your brothers gave the protection they knew then. So NEXT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. are you alright???????????????????????????????

      Delete
    2. You are evil for saying this with such non chalance.

      Delete
    3. They knew then?

      Non observant
      Non protective
      Non interested

      Delete
  4. It is well. May God heal you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Things we do around children we feel do not matter, matters a lot and will affect them negatively or positively.

    It's well with you dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The mind is innocent at this stage, free from any knowledge of bad, and so what they see the adults do they feel and think it's right

      Delete
  6. It is well. May God heal you

    ReplyDelete
  7. The lost of a parent especially mother always tell on the kids. πŸ€—πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
  8. The last part got me, chai, i pray i don't break down
    Dear dark diary, you will get the healing u seek. Am so emotional right now.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Too bad. Thank God you are a survival and able to tell your story

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh my Goodness!!!!I just knew it poster will be abused with the flock of men and doings in the house.,How sad!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hello Poster, it's really sad to read things like this on social media. Most people see it as the norms and it's no longer news to hear that someone was raped or molested. I pray you find inner peace with yourself...(sad)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ooooh dear.
    E-hugs to you dear poster.

    I know that this is gonna be a rollercoaster of emotions.

    Looking forward to reading more.

    ReplyDelete
  13. May the Lord heal you completely and make you whole as you seek closure. God is a healer. When he does you will be looking for the scars.
    Sending you ehugs.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Parents should be careful with what they do in the presence of their kids.

    ReplyDelete
  15. oh No
    Take heart Poster
    I grew up with four brothers, was an only girl, But mine wast the total opposite of yours
    i was over over protected, secluded, hidden, not allowed to go out or talk to any man/boy
    thier friends couldnt even talk to me when they visited
    and i hated it, i rebelled and bidded my time till i went off to college and got freedom

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too, mum was late so only dad and four brothers. The protection was much!it messed up my social life and made me anti social and introverted. I wasn't even allowed to live on my own(hostel) when I entered University.

      Delete
    2. If you understand that it came from a place of love, care and EFFORT no matter how misguided
      Then you wouldn't feel so bad

      You are an adult now take steps to correct the wrong and take charge/responsibility going forward

      Delete
  16. So sad,poster it is well with you

    ReplyDelete
  17. Chai😭 it is well with you dear poster πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
  18. This will definitely bring back memories. Poster I wish you well

    ReplyDelete
  19. I pray everyday for God's protection on my daughter. This world is just wicked

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sons too
      People are mean and destructive

      Delete
  20. May God protect my children both male and female because abuse doesn't only happen to the girl child these days but also to.the boy child too.πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

    ReplyDelete
  21. E hugs poster
    Looking forward to more ..
    Same thing also happens with busy working parents living in a public house

    ReplyDelete
  22. We are plenty on this table
    May God heal our heart
    This will bring back memories ...
    It’s well

    The way I’ll be so protective of my kids ehn gosh!

    ReplyDelete
  23. This will be an emotional story. Looking forward to read the remaining stories.

    ReplyDelete
  24. It is well with you poster.
    What do some people find attractive in kids?
    I remember how my neighbor’s daughter used to send her niece and nephew to get her condoms. A married woman who left her husband’s house and returned to her parents house and started sleeping around. She eventually died of aids.
    In life, be careful what you do because when you sow evils seeds, your kids will be the ones to reap them.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hmmm ....Poster, it is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is so sad to read
    May the lord heal you poster
    Ehugss

    ReplyDelete
  27. E-hugs dear posterπŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
  28. Your diary will inspire me to write mine here. So many painful childhood memories . My mother abandoned us when I was 5yrs. She abandoned 4kids with my dad and never looked back. I remember when we were growing up she will use the money my dad gave her for our upkeep to buy alcohol for her numerous bf then and give us garri to drink. My dad is a civil engineer and goes out early and comes home late. He provided for everything and she even deprived us her children good food to give her numerous bfs... I will tell my story some day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First and foremost you must work/walk yourself to forgive her. A wrong was done to you and your siblings. Why, you may never know all the reasons. But to get healed if all the Trauma you must forgive and release the hurt. Then remember that she too may have come from a messed up background.
      No woman maltreats her children just like that. Something went off in her upbringing.

      May God heal all who need to be healed. Amen

      Delete
  29. May God heal you poster,iam so emotional right now,it is well with you

    ReplyDelete
  30. May God heal you poster,iam so emotional right now,it is well with you

    ReplyDelete
  31. It's well with you poster
    πŸ€—πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
  32. God will heal your heart poster

    ReplyDelete
  33. God will heal your heart poster

    ReplyDelete

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