Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

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Tuesday, November 02, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

 Hmmmm...





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

ADVICE NEEDED

My friend had a harrowing divorce from her husband due to the man's infidelities and highhandedness. 


She along the line got married again but it did not work, so they parted. Now the first husband is saved (she has no doubt about this as it is evident in his new life). He is coming again to remarry my friend. 


Should she agree and go back to him?


 They have two sons together and the man is now caring for his kids and pleading for their forgiveness. Please does anyone know any Scripture particularly that addresses this issue?. 

I think that will give her the confidence to make a firm decision. 

They are both in their thirties.


*Her first ex husband became born again and wants to marry her again? if she is convinced that he changed and she still wants to get married, then let her go ahead, no amount of advice will reveal to her whether he is truly changed or not, except she takes a chance on him.

Wish her all the best with whatever decision she makes.


I am also curious to know if a Bible verse exists concerning this...

88 comments:

  1. Her life, her decision to make.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Biblically her first husband is her real husband, the second husband was just by the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @15:03
      "Biblically," and you quoted no bible verse?

      Delete
    2. Anon 15:03 is spot on. Her first husband is her real husband no matter how you put it. God only recognizes the first husband even if they divorce; as long as the first husband is still alive.

      Poster, take your time and don’t rush at allll. He needs to show actions and not just words. He needs to date you all over again and win you back. Also open your heart to forgiving him but be on guard. I’m sure You’ve learned a lot. Love with sense because These our naija men ehn, hmmmm. Don’t lose your identity and self esteem ever. Continue to work on you while in the relationship.

      Delete
    3. @20:39
      "God only recognizes...?" And you cannot even quote God?
      The Bible is either the Word of God or it is not. Quote the Bible or keep quiet and stop accusing God.

      Delete
    4. @****, I will woozzz you if you don’t leave me alone o. Na spiritual slap e go be to reset your brain. And yes, I’m still a Christians 😠. Angry Christian this morning. I’m the Same anon 20:39πŸ˜’

      Delete
    5. The first husband is a stupid man she left because he cheated ,what did the second husband now ex did to her ?

      Delete
    6. @Anonymous 6:48
      Wow! I've seen a "woozzzing christians" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Chai, drama full this blog

      Delete
  3. Islamically, once you're divorced, you must first remarry, have a genuine reason to divorce the second husband then, you can go back to remarry your first husband.

    But for Christians, I don't have any idea of such

    Since it's the man coming for you himself, I think there's nothing to be worried about. Pray about it and you can go ahead


    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apparently, this poster is a Christian and is asking for advice from the Bible. Isn't that obvious? For me, I keep quiet and learn when I do not know any advice to give.

      Delete
    2. But what Larry said is not off nah!

      Delete
    3. 15:17 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

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    4. I don't get u bro....when a woman divorce a man...u mean it's a must for her to remarry then come up with a genuine reason to divorce the second husband again🀦

      Abi it's my brain that is running faster that what I read ni

      Delete
    5. Well, someone else could learn from Larry's comment. You should have taken your own advice and not given any advice to Larry, right?

      Delete
    6. Anonymous 15:17, Starry Larry is not speaking off point because he said his point of view concerning the topic and he was clear enough about not knowing what Christianity says. It doesn't hurt to learn and be open minded, that is why religious intolerance is killing the world.

      Delete
    7. @16:24
      Are you for real? Someone asked for advice from the Bible and you gave her from another source and you are talking about ignorance? Who is ignorant here? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

      Delete
    8. Larry is a lady please.🀦

      Delete
    9. Anon 15:17, I don’t see anything wrong in what Larry said. He/she is just giving us another perspective. I find ur comment rude and offensive and u would do well to take ur own advice and KEEP QUIET!!

      Delete
    10. @18:56
      Everything is wrong with it. If I ask you for a fish, don't give me scorpion. If you don't have fish, tell me and I will thank you. No qualms.

      Delete
    11. 20:00 must be a trouble maker where he/she comes from. Make una leave am jare. No be everybody dey use leg waka, some dey use head.

      Delete
    12. 20.36 we know her already on this blog, always cantankerous and judging upandan.

      Delete
    13. StarryLarry is a woman ejΓ² αΊΉyin jcc and I don't know when it becomes a crime to have an opinion on this blog.

      Delete
    14. @20:36
      Nobody made trouble here. If anybody did, it is the man that is giving the poster what she clearly did not ask for. She said, that the husband is saved, give me Scriptures not what Larry wrote up there.

      Delete
    15. Btw Starry Larry is a She

      Delete
    16. Hahahaha I don laff tire from all the replies under this thread.

      Delete
  4. We can’t give advice as we dont know if the man has truly changed, only you can see and know if u can go back

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jeremiah 3:1“If a man divorces his wife

    and she leaves him and marries another man,

    should he return to her again?

    WOULD NOT THE LAND BE COMPLETELY DEFILED?

    But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers—

    would you now return to me?”



    The Bible is the Book that defines how this life should be lived. God's manual for life
    Study the Scriptures people and you will have peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Read the scriptures with understanding darling. God still return back to the Israelites several times inspite of their unfaithfulness.

      Delete
    2. @Lisa
      Have also read from Deut. 24:1-4
      That was the law that the Lord was quoting; the land will be defiled.

      Delete
    3. Plus you’re quoting from the Old Testament. We’re in New Testament era. I’m not saying we shouldn’t refer to the old testament as it’s part of the Bible and we should always refer to the Old Testament. It’s filled with wisdom and knowledge and how to live our lives as Christian.

      When Christ came, he abolished some of these Old Testament things. For example, you can no longer use animals for sacrifice. Christ came, died for our sins and shed his blood. Read Matthew 19:6, Romans 7:1-3, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11,39 on divorce. Paul recognizes that divorce may physically and legally end a marriage, but in the eyes of God's law, the marriage bond and “one flesh union” only ends in death. So if you divorce, as long as your husband is still alive, you can’t remarry. Reason why we need to seek Gods face well before entering into one.

      Delete
    4. He did not abolish the law, he came to fulfill them. My apologies on that. I’m the same anon 23:08

      Delete
    5. @06:37
      Thanks for the apology
      Matthew 5:17 and to the end...he did not fulfil this one, so it stands.

      Delete
  6. Bible verse concerning what exactly?

    *The man being a born again Christian and trying to remarry his ex wife OR

    *The woman forgiving his ex husband and also trying to be sure he is a changed person?


    I doubt if there is but if anyone knows, then bring it up and let's argue on it.



    My take...the woman can only get to know if her ex husband has really changed by going ving him a second chance..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Pinky
      There is nothing to argue about God's Word. It is there in Deuteronomy 24:1-4

      Delete
    2. When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some [a]uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, 2 when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, 4 then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is [b]an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance. Deut 24:1-4 New KJV, the problem is that sex is like a covenant, there is a deeper spiritual meaning to it and life. that is why it is not good to have multiply sex partners.

      Even science discovery said and I quote google ooo "A new study has found that women carry living DNA from all the men she has ever had a sexual relationship with.

      That's right ladies; the startling discovery was made by researchers at the University of Seattle and the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Centre. The discovery was made by accident when the team was initially attempting to find out if pregnant women with a son are more susceptible to neurological diseases that men are more vulnerable to." So there you have it.

      Bible and Science, not easy but what do we do??? The foundation is destroyed what will the righteous do? Blood of Jesus and Mercy but these things do have undertones so we should not tempt the Lord our God ooo

      Delete
    3. Anon 16:50 your point is valid but God instructed Hosea to marry a prostitute (Ref:the book of Hosea).
      Poster, go ahead. Old things have passed away

      Delete
    4. So I carry over 10,000 dna then smh

      Delete
    5. Fake Christians are fond of Mixing old and new testament to justify whatever narrative they want to push out. The same old testament you lifted this from also asked for an eye for an eye, which is do me I do you, but you would switch to new testament and tell people to forgive when it suits you. I pity any Christian that owns a Bible but cannot spend time to read it from cover to cover. If she wants to remarry him, has prayed about it, and her spirit is at peace with it, she should go ahead. Every Christian needs to know how God speaks to them. For some it's through dreams, others it's through peace of mind, little whisper etc.

      Delete
    6. @18:54
      Read Mathew 5:17
      Jesus did not come to abolish the law and the prophet but to fulfil them. Where is the fulfilment of this very injunction?

      Delete
  7. It's forbidden in the old testament, somewhere in Deuteronomy. It talks abt not remarrying the first if u have married another, but some folks will say it's not part of the new covenant. But since she didn't have any kids wit the second husband, I'll tell her to really check and go back. I won't tho.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think this applies as Christians are not under the law of Moses.

      The only ground Jesus gave for divorce where the other spouse can remarry is adultery (Matt 19:9). So using that principle, she had committed no sin when she divorced her first husband and remarried because he was unfaithful.

      If she and her second husband parted ways because he cheated, then she's free to remarry. However, if infidelity was not the case, she's still married to the second man in God's eyes. Hence, getting back to her first husband is a no no.

      Delete
    2. The old covenant is/was specifically for the Israelites.
      Unless the poster is a jew, the law does not apply to her.
      The ten commandments is different from the covenant God made with the Israelis.
      A non Jewish Christian should focus on the instruction given in Acts 15:20.

      Delete
    3. Anon 17:04 don't mind them. They mix old and new testaments to suit whatever narrative they want to justify.

      Delete
    4. @17:04, thank you. We’re no longer under the law of Moses. We’re in New Testament Era. Wrote my own comment about this up there. Christians please read your Bible well well and don’t let anyone brainwash you o hmm.

      Delete
  8. She can go back, if she doesnt wanna relax and enjoy life as a single woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is being a single mother easy? Poster please go back to your husband and take care of your children, God will perfect it this time around.

      Delete
    2. This Bible quotes lean towards patriarchy... Women don suffer, religion doesn't make it easy at all..

      Delete
  9. Although, I have so many bible chapters and verses that talks about divorce and whom to bring in the wife after the second man has sent her away but it doesn't go in line with this chronicle

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  10. She will have to decide that but if they both do not address or thrash out what caused the 1st dissolution of marriage; then the marriage will not stand...Yes being born again is not just spiritual growth but renewal of the mind as well...They should see a good marriage counsellor and spiritual leader both in conduct and mannerism that will help them in this reconciliation....Honestly I am happy for them....Over all, they should pray, forgive themselves and do away with previous hurts and pains and work on all their weaknesses and flaws...

    Bible Passages: Ephesians 4:32, Luke chapter 2 verse 13-16, Ephesians 5:33...All the best for her...

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    Replies
    1. I agree a 100πŸ’―πŸ’―. Nigerians never like to get to the bottom of things and sort things out truly. They like to sweep things under the carpet and "settle" things

      Delete
  11. Sometimes you just have to do what you got to do.
    If she strongly feels she's got this then why not.
    I don't know of any Bible verse supporting this, but I have seen ex couples who remaried eachother

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  12. You alone know why you left him. You alone can tell emphatically if he has changed. You have children for him. Give him another chance. If he turns back to his former behavior. Leave him and forever remain single or remarry again. Getting married again is very easy for some women.

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  13. If she's sure he has repented, why the waste of time. She should go back to her husband

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jeremiah 3: 1“If a man divorces his wife

    and she leaves him and marries another man,

    should he return to her again?

    Would not the land be completely defiled?

    But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers—

    would you now return to me?”

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi Stella
    I've posted the Scripture you requested for twice
    and yet to see it. It is in Jeremiah chapter 3:1

    Jeremiah 3:1“If a man divorces his wife

    and she leaves him and marries another man,

    should he return to her again?

    Would not the land be completely defiled?

    But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers—

    would you now return to me?”

    ReplyDelete
  16. Deuteronomy 24:1-4
    1If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, 2and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Out of curiosity, does this contradict popular opinion that her first husband is her only husband?

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    2. Eh, from the scripture reference, it's the man who sent the wife packing.. In poster's case, na she pack commot

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    3. Anon 15:43:Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

      LAND = Israel
      Poster = based in Nigeria

      The law does not apply to the poster

      Delete
    4. Poster, please tell your friend to read the above Bible textsπŸ‘†. Then after reading it, tell her that was the "law" which was given to the Jews in the time of Moses. Next, tell her to read Matthew 19:3-9. She and "her husband" [I do not want to believe the man remained celibate since your friend left] have both committed adultery. Adultery is a sin and all sins can be forgiven by Jesus Christ. Even if they are red as crimson, the blood of Jesus will wash it whiter than snow; that's why Jesus gave his life: to redeem the lost. I remember vividly that Jesus chatted with the woman who had married four husbands and was just doing live-in-lover with a fifth man. If na some of our BVs, dem for don kukuma throw the woman inside well that day. That's why we are called "human beings". We are naturally judgemental.

      If they were Catholics, that second marriage no concern Pope Francis. It is null and void and only the first marriage is recognised, barring a Papal annulment. That second marriage is seen as "adultery" and only the man can decide to forgive or not. So, if the man has decided to put it behind him, who are we to put asunder?

      Let the two of them confess their sins before God (or to their priests) and forgive each other for all "former things" that are now passed away and enjoy this new life and marriage that the grace of God has restored. I am particularly happy for their two children and I hope they live happily ever after. Bring updates o abeg.

      Delete
    5. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

      Delete
    6. @17:19
      Matthew 5:17 Do not think that I have come to abolish the law and the prophets, I have not come to abolish them but to FULFIL THEM.


      Can you tell me where Jesus fulfilled this law in the Old Covenant? Let me give you an example;

      Same Mathew 5:27“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ e 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

      Jesus went ahead to explain a lot of laws he fulfilled and so on. So dear, this one was not fulfilled.

      Delete
  17. Personally, I never go backwards, only forward. It is her choice to go back, as he may truly be transformed. But is she saved too? It is still important to be equally yoked even if you have a history and children together.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Biblically her lst husband is her husband. There is what we call restitution. That's what her hubby is doing by getting married to her again. Biblically, if u are dirvoced, u can't remarry except ur spouse dies. If u get married to another partner while ur spouse is still alive u have committed adultery. Mercy Johnson nuella's marriage is adultery bfore God bcus their spouse's ex wives are still alive. Poster, ur second marriage is not recognize bfore God. Go and read Paul letter on marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Quote one Bible verse or read Deuteronomy 24:1-4

      Delete
    2. Gbamsolutely. Thank you Natasha. If una wan make heaven on the last day, this is a very important aspect if we say we’re Christians and heaven is our goal. At the end of the day, there’s no marriage in heaven. Everything ends here on earth. May God help us all to make the right decisions for our lives πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ’•

      Delete
    3. @16:57 Mark 10:11&12

      Delete
  19. I would suggest a time of waiting within which there will be reflection and marriage counselling from PROFESSIONALS.

    Men and women cheat for several reasons, find out the root cause. The highhandness you mentioned, find out the roots of this.

    There are children involved, so you cannot just be appearing and disappearing when the heat is too much.

    There is no law which says you must remarry (marry) if you are happy, content and at peace being single, being a single mother, widow (er) or divorcee.

    Leave society to talk if they wish, thats not your business- your business is your happiness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES! exactly. A lot of work needs to be done to unpack toxic behaviours. Not just let us marry again

      Delete
    2. Kisses to you anon 16:16. Make I copy and paste this because I dey go through my own.

      Delete
  20. Pray and ask God, seeeeeh this life is uncertain, i advise u follow ur mind.

    ReplyDelete
  21. This lady should also check herself to see she does not have issues. Why are her marriages not lasting in the first place?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam. I completely agree. We women need to call it what it is honestly. It takes both to tangle

      Delete
  22. Let your friend read Mathew 5. The 1st husband is her only husband who ever she marries after that is adultery.

    ReplyDelete
  23. According to the Holy Bible

    1. Luke 16:18
    2. Mark 10:2-12
    3. Malachi 2:16

    ReplyDelete
  24. No one should get burnt twice.

    You have to be very honest with yourself, so that you don't make the same mistake twice.

    Get a pen and paper sweetheart, quickly!!!!!! Write out every single character flaw that you found intolerable during the marriage that led to your divorce. Then ask yourself if there has been any changes in his character. That he is now a christian does not mean that all his character flaws have been wiped away. You remember those disciplines of Jesus that He called Sons of Thunder,they walked with Christ but still hadn't fixed all their issues.

    He could be changed but still have deep cravings for adultery and other women, or he may still have anger issues etc.

    So you need to ascertain that he is indeed a changed person. Tell him you are willing to date, court and marry him if you discover that he is indeed a changed person. So ask him to woo you as he would another lady with whom he has no history. During that dating period, withhold sex and observe with your eyes open and your heart sealed. Pay attention to every single thing. Don't expect an Angel, but watch out to find out if he is a work in progress, a man willing to fix his life.

    Personally, I would prefer you to remarry this man you were marries to before. Since you have children together and you're coming from a failed relationship, you could still give him another try.

    Your heart may still be wounded, in which case, you both must seek counselling, where you can talk about your pain, hurt and bitterness with a view to healing. If you must reconsider him,you must both do it under the guidance and mentorship of a trusted pastor couple or elderly couple you can trust, don't go this route alone, so your past hurt doesn't ruin the possibility of a happy experience.


    If you find Out that he is not a changed man, please please please, abort mission!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 17:19 Everything you have said makes absolute sense but you see during courtship is when people put their best foot forward which makes absolute sense since they are obviously trying to make the best impressions.
      A man or woman determined to win over a partner will say and do everything that they know will appeal to such a partner.
      After the wedding, the mask comes off.
      Marriage is not 'let us try' 'let us see what happens...'
      It is either you are 100 percent convinced or you are not.
      Discredit whatever your eyes see.
      There are never more smokes and mirrors than when people are dating.
      You've pretty much seen it all being married twice.
      Lean towards your intuition and ( since you are a Christian,) the Holy Spirit.
      You deserve to be happy.
      Don't use the children as the reason for coming back together and then force them to daily witness how 2 loveless individuals pretend to live happily as room mates.

      Delete
    2. A professional therapist is your best bet. A neutral person with judgement free zone. But if you must see a pastor, then like anon mentioned, let it be a trusted mature and genuine pastor who will call you and your ex husband out on your BUllsh*t and have your best interest both

      Delete
  25. 1 Corinthians 7

    11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

    If she had remained unmarried, things would have been much easier. She would have just gone back to her husband.

    Divorcing a spouse and marrying another is adultery. Mark 10: 11-12

    Pray for forgiveness and God's guidance on the way forward.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You forgot to add As long as the spouse is still alive, then it’s adultery. If the spouse is not alive, then she’s free to remarry.

      Delete
  26. This one pass me
    Tonia

    ReplyDelete
  27. When the prodigal son repented,the father accepted him back.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Well she remarried and it didn’t work out right? Maybe poster should also look within herself to really see how she has contributed to the breakdown of the marriage. It takes two to make a marriage work. If it’s your bad mouth, work on it and learn how to tame your tongue. If Na attitude, work on adjusting your attitude and respect the man. Speak your mind In a respectful way on things you won’t tolerate again if you decide to come back, Work on your masculine energy as we women tend to bring it out when we’re super hurt and angry. Two masculine energy can never work in a marriage. Bring out your feminine energy for a good balance in the relationship; And this is by working on your past hurt, pain, anger, trauma, Work on your self esteem and loving yourself first. It won’t be easy because you’re so used to the same pattern. But continue to work on you and a much better and peaceful version of you will take over. it’s very doable. You have seen it’s not that rosy out there ehn especially with another naija man with similar or same ridiculous mentality. Una both need to work on this marriage if that’s what you want. Goodluck and make sure you update us. *hugs*πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
  29. These comments sweet baje lol. Funny BVs 🀣

    ReplyDelete
  30. Under 30yrs with 2 marriages under the belt, likely heading for the 3rd divorce as you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Maybe stay on your own for sometime and develop, grow yourself first biko. Try thrive in a regular relationship, leave the certification/ validation out of it for now. Marriage no be by force.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Both of them are prodigal spouses and if they so desire to come back together, it their choice. Did Christ tell us a limit to forgiveness or did he not advocate we reconcile?
    Old testament view of marriage is not Christian view. Christianity does not grant divorce but ifone divorces and amend one's way and returns, one is always welcome back. No sinner is rejected if they return back to God. So the woman and man have no barrier to coming back, now i think getting back the 2nd time will be better than the first cos they have learnt their lessons.

    ReplyDelete

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