Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

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Friday, December 17, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

Hmmm.....








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CUSTODY BATTLE.




Dear Stella,


Kindly assist in posting this in your chronicle.

I once posted in labour room story how I was abandoned with less than 2yrs old baby and 6 months pregnancy. See the post HERE

All Glory be to God all has been going well with me and my kids to the disappointment of my enemy.

We have been going to court for dissolution and he has been requesting to have access to his kids. The court mandated him to pay his kids school fees and to be sending allowance for their up keep. He agreed to pay their fees but said it is 15k he can afford to be sending to his kids monthly which the court was angry at but they said they can’t force him to do more than his pocket. 


After paying their fees he has been demanding for me to tell him where to pick up the kids for weekend. My lawyer has ask me to ignore him until the court gives judgement. Our last appearance in court he requested the court gives me an order to release the kids to him for the holiday which was rejected.


My ex is a strong headed person who doesn’t have conscience in doing things. I really want my kids to have access to their dad but am scared as I don’t know the plans of this guy. I don’t mind him having the kids for some holidays but my lawyer keep saying even if the court grant that in judgement that he won’t still have the kids. Personally am fine with us having to share custody as I really want them to have a feel of their dad but these are my fear;


- I am scared that I might give him the kids and he will vanish with them as I don’t know his present work place and house address.

- I am scared I might give him the kids who he will dump with his mum. (Please note he was molested severally as a young kid by his aunty and female neighbor. He told me when we were sharing life stories) and the mum still stays in face me I face you apartment. (Am sorry I have to say this) 

While we were married I told him my kids can’t sleep over there alone until he moves his mum to a better secured home. Although the plan was for his mum to stay with us but she showed me pepper even without staying with us.

- I am scared my kids might be molested or assaulted because he is actually a careless person and only wants to have the kids to boost his ego.

- I am scared that the grievances between us might be passed to the kids.

- I am scared because I don’t know his present condition cause he said in court he was squatting so as to gain sympathy from them.

- My kids have a nanny whom I pay monthly, am scared of releasing the kids with nanny and another story will enter like manipulating the nanny to monitor me and get information.

- I am scared that this guy will use this kids to hurt me as that is the only means of him getting me as his other plans that would have made me die failed.

- His family is toxic, filled with jealousy and evil. Whenever I remember the series of messages they sent to me including his mum I start panicking I don’t want my kids in that kind of environment.

- I am scared for a lot of things.

My question is if the court gives judgement, and am very sure part of the judgement will be to allow the kids visit him for holidays. How do I go about it? My kids are under the age of 5.


Please help a sister I need another lawyers point of view. I don’t want to be seen as a wicked woman/mother who deprived her kids of their father. The guy did a lot but I have let go for the sake of my sanity and kids. My first child keeps telling me she wants to visit her dad, my heart breaks whenever she says so. (I grew up with my dad although he is late now but I still miss him) I never wanted this kind of life for my kids but life happened and we move.


I don’t also want to disobey the court order incase if it will be stated that the kids should visit him. Visiting the kids in my house is a no go area as I don’t want to have anything to do with him again plus I don’t want him to come disgrace me in my new environment as that is part of his hobby.



Thank you





*This is so messed up, damn!!!
My worry is that your worry number one, that he might take off with the kids and you dont know where he lives or works... That would be too risky, DO NOT GIVE HIM YOUR KIDS.
The kids are too young and all your fears are in order..... At this stage, the best solution would be to allow him meet hem in an open place... They are still too young.

I am sure you will get good advice in the comment section. A lot of Ladies are going through custody battles and I am wondering why these men are dragging to see kids that they barely saw when the going was good.


39 comments:

  1. Grant him access to your kids, but with you and another adult present. Please, let it be in a public place. No going to spend weekends for now. You say you don't know where he works, and lives? My dear, even if you knew the address, that does not mean he cannot take the kids and flee. Pls for now guard your kids with your life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Radical for Jesus and her bestie don fall out, Gist dn dy spill, wen e dy enter here?

      Delete
    2. Nne...I feel you.

      Just know you have to make some compromises;

      Go Tonto Dike route by deleting him, including his financial support and shoulder your cross alone depending only on God. When your children are of age, they can decide to find and relate with him. The little girl will have to sacrifice daddy bonding for now for her safety.

      All your fears are valid and very important. But you can't have him contribute financially yet keep him in the dark.

      These are the reasons some women manage their marriages to even horrible men. They just find a way to cope and endure because divorcing some devils in human clothing is worse. There are men that will intentionally hurt the kids just to get at the woman who walked out on them.

      You will be in my prayer and my prayer point for you will be for God to cause this man to forget you and for God in His divine providence to make way for you and your kids.

      Delete
    3. Poster please take Saphire's advice, with the way you sound about your former husband, that guy can arrange for the kidnapping of your kids even in an open place by tracing you. Please be very careful, you shall not weep over your kids in Jesus name, just like what Stella said, kids they hardly see when the going was good. This is a lesson to all single ladies and men, totally avoid people from bitter families, sorry to say this but I discovered that these particular set of bitter people are poor, most especially when you are coming from a rich or comfortable home.

      Delete
    4. @poster, meet with him in a Mr. Biggs/Chicken Republic etc with your children once a week or every 2 weeks. You guys should buy food for the kids while they eat and play with their dad. This hang-out can go on for a few hours so they would have a good time. Try to have a friend or brother with you (always make sure there is a man with you). Once he finds a new woman, he won't bother you so much, you will be the one chasing him to attend to the children.

      Delete
    5. E be like say you for jappa with those kids. This is messy as Stella said.

      Delete
    6. Poster, let your lawyer table these points before the court. He should explain to the judge that the man is squatting, you have no knowledge of where that is, and the environment may not be conducive for the kids to avoid a repeat of the abuse he went through as a kid. Ask that the meeting be in a public place with an adult you will assign to monitor them. Or that the court revisit the visitation request when he has a steady accomodation

      Delete
  2. Suggest that you will follow them so as to know the location. Maybe file a police report incase he goes AWOL with them.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nigerians are always talking about "shaming their enemies" and I always wonder if people breed enemies like poultries?
    Please take those kids away from this crossfire.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm speechless. Lemme read comments please. Good afternoon

    ReplyDelete
  5. See ehn, even when your kids become teenagers, letting him meet with them in an open space under your watchful eyes is still the safest decision. When they become adults, they can go see their father on their own. That man should forget about spending holidays with them for now. Keep fighting to avoid that from happening. May we not read stories that touch on this matter. God will continue to protect you and your kids in Jesus Name.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This issue is serious ooooo.


    May God see you thru.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow! All of your fears are valid and you just be careful..You first reason for being scared is justified though and don't do that

    ReplyDelete
  8. What I see here is a problem of finance in marriage that should have been avoided.
    The man apparently isn't well to do and is now "toxic." You both just couldn't put the financial acts together and the bubble burst.
    Now, you are both spending this monies on lawyers?
    And now, you are scared of too many things to last you a lifetime.
    Of course, the kids will keep asking for their dad, he is their dad. They do not understand the frontline languages you both speak.
    They have the right to see their father, a right you acknowledged you also enjoyed.
    Your plea to the court will be to make such visits "supervised."
    That seems to be the much you can get. Please fast and pray and get closer to the Lord in his Word from the Bible and you will have some measure of peace.
    πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
  9. It was really sad reading this.
    Since you went to court to obtain a divorce, why not trust the court to deliver the right judgment on the kids? And of course, you will have to obey the court's judgment. You won't be able to have 100% custody of these kids and still collect monies from him for upkeep, it doesn't make legal sense. Except you institute another court case based on some perceived flaws in him.
    On the other hand, you are seeing your husband as the enemy but forgetting the enemy of mankind whom you both allowed into this family unit that God set up. Well Jesus is the dependable friend that died for you. Go to him in prayers and he will surely answer you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do u guys even comprehend what you read.. it was the guy who filed for divorce not her cmon

      Delete
  10. You need to raise your concerns in court. Let them know you don't know his work place or where he lives and this can't make you release your kids to him. It is well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I exactly agree πŸ‘Œat least the court could consider providing a form of protection against him disappearing with the kids

      Delete
  11. Never u leave ur kids with him without a third party involved...so that u will not write another chronicle

    ReplyDelete
  12. Allow him see the kids, in a public place, under ur supervision.

    The court case will probably favour u.
    Goodluck

    ReplyDelete
  13. Do not let him have those kids for holidays, otherwise you may not get your kids back. If he like, he can keep his miserable 15k.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Allow him access to the kids under your watch

    ReplyDelete
  15. My dear forget that issue of going for holidays. Your children are too young for that kind of visit. Agree with him to visit them in an open place. They can stay for hours together but never allow them out of your presence. Your worries are red flags. Agree on a particular place. It might be monthly or once in two weeks. Don't go alone with the kids. Let a family member or friend follow you to the place in case of fight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I concur to this. Your lawyer should be able to get this arranged. The court should not allow the children visit him when he is squatting. Be strong.

      Delete
  16. How will court allow someone who is squatting to have his kids for holiday or weekends? Let him see them in an open or public place if he's such a good father. Follow your lawyer instruction, he/she should know how to use this in your defense, stay calm. You people should use every thing he used to garner pity against him.


    Felicity.

    ReplyDelete
  17. My dear your fears are all in order. Please don't release your children for any holiday oh, since he claims to be squatting he might not be entitled to taking the kids to his place. Be there for your children, let him see them in an open place but make sure you go with some adults for self defense. Or allow your children to have video call with them. Do not allow your kids to be taken from you by a father that is incapable
    May the Lord guide you to take the right decision in Jesus name

    ReplyDelete
  18. Your fears are irrelevant, he could raise same fears about you. If the court rules that the kids be spending their holidays with their father, you can't stop him. So plead with the court for supervised visition because of the age of your kids. Littered in your post is the impression that the man is a monster, who is not cable of loving his children. The fact the man was abused doesn't necessarily mean he will allow his children to be abused. I have no doubts , you have been actively brainwashing the children against their father. Not a single good thing about him and his family. You are the good one right? News flash , he is the father of those kids and he reserves the right to have access, you haven't proven that he gat the capacity to hurt his kids. You are in a court, the court can easily get his house address and the address of where he works. Leaving in a face me and face you is not a crime, it doesn't define anybody. Tens of millions of children grew up in such houses in the past and millions are still growing up there. There are people who grew up in flats and duplexes that were abused. You are a master of double speak, you want him to be there for his children,in the next line your fears overwhelm you and you don't want him round your kids. Clip your ego and do what's right for you all

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don’t mind her. Those kids are both theirs and they both have rights to equal access to the kids. She should stop giving excuses, she chose to lay with the man and have TWO kids with him. During that whole time she didn’t think he was this bad. He abandoned her, she should tell us why. Stella the kids are NOT hers alone.

      Delete
    2. Thank you. She has no fears. Just excuses dressed as fears to evoke sympathy and justify her already made decision.

      The fact that her lawyer forsees the Judge may order joint custody or grant visitation rights to the father tells alot about her case.


      Here is the legal advice she seeks-
      If your "fears" are grounded, your lawyer should present them to the court with evidence where necessary. The court knows what to do.

      Delete
  19. Poster, if the court declares that the kids should be visiting the Dad by holidays, tell the court that (1). You don't know where he stays nor where he works. Also ask them, what if he goes with the kids and never return them to you, how do you look for them? Hear them out from there. In all, if it's me, i wouldn't allow my kids to be visiting him.

    ReplyDelete
  20. First, sorry for all that led to this post (pardon me for not reading your first post).

    At the beginning you alleged it is your lawyer who is against allowing your husband to see the children or have joint custody of them even if the court so order. And I wondered what quality of lawyer you have. A lawyer who says you should disobey the court you seek succour from is not worth a strand of his/her wig (no apologies).

    But after reading the multiple fears, reasons or excuses you gave why you don't want your husband to have access to his children now or after judgement, it is clear you are the person who do not want him to have access to or custody of the children at all. What you want here is support for a decision you have already made. You want to use your lawyer and SDK blog family as alibis for your decision.

    You will get the support you seek here. However, ask yourself if all the fears, reasons,excuses you listed against your husband are verifiable. If your daughter is already asking to see her father, then he may not be a full evil man.

    You don't want your children to go with their Nanny not because you are scared of her being molested but you are scared your children will be molested by your husband's family. You are scared also that your Nanny would be used subsequently to monitor you. What are you hiding?

    No matter how we cut it, children belong to the father and mother. It is on this blog I am learning that children belong to mothers only.

    With due respect, children are "our children" not "my children" or "my child" when couples are involved. "My child or children" applies only when a father or mother is dealing with a third-party.

    The weaponizing of children in divorce cases is a judicially recognized fact worldwide. But it is absolutely wrong. The children for also pay for it in the long run. Therefore, street wise matrimonial Judges don't allow it.

    It assuages the hurt feelings to spite divorced partners by taking the children of the marriage away from them. The question is at what price or to what real gain?

    Poster, go into the closet of your heart. You will find there the solution you seek here. Your lawyer is supposed to help you work with your husband's lawyer to achieve a solution mutually beneficial to you and your husband, and equally protective of your children. The doubt is that he/she lacks the competence.

    And those of us saying the Poster should not let the father have custody because of fears listed by her hope you also support FFK's alleged refusal to grant or share custody with the mother of his children because of his allegations against their mother?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Follow your gut dear poster. You hv valid reasons for your fears. Those kids are your everything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does FFK ‘allegations’ against snow white make his reasons for not letting her see her kids ‘valid’?? Smh..y’all women on this blog sha!

      Delete
    2. Those children are too small to be bandied about and the fears poster raised are very valid. I am against anything that can harm kids in any form and will not condone the remotest possibility. Let me not even begin on women's intuition. When the kids are grown and can fully express themselves and look after themselves they can see their father. The fact the little girl asks for her father means poster does not badmouth her ex husband. The child is however too young to understand the hidden dynamics she is involved in. The mother who has been taking good care of them so far, is in the best position to make the right decision for her children right now.

      Delete
  22. In my opinion, the kids are way too young to be going on holidays unsupervised. They should wait till they are up to like 8-10 years old, where they can be very vocal

    ReplyDelete
  23. The kids are even too young to go spend holiday with their father. Is he living in Disney or what? Tell your lawyer all your fears, and he can see his kids in an open place of which you n one other will be there. Even if he gives you address to meet him, don't go. You are to choose a place and invite him.

    God's strength and wisdom I wish you.

    ReplyDelete
  24. For a man that is squatting (according to his testimony in court), he doesn’t deserve those kids sleeping over at his place for now. Supervised visit during the day should be the highest he can get, make he manage am like that. How can you be demanding that kids come and spend holiday with you when you’re squatting?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Since the man said he is squating he cannot have them as he doesn't have an apartment Let your Lawaywr present this on court. Your Lawyer should also let the court know your fear so a proper check can be done on his residence etc.

    ReplyDelete

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