Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Sunday, January 02, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...



Hello Mrs korkus, 

 Complement of the season.
I write this mail to you in respect of how I feel at this moment. I feel heartbroken, depressed and even suicidal as what is stopping me is the fear of what is on the other side.

A few days back. My younger bro was talking back at me in a rude manner and I cautioned him but he continued so I got upset and shouted at him in the process I said am I your mate?! "I will slap you" .

 Can you imagine that the "I will slap you" I said is what was held against me. 

My mom was there when he was insulting me but said nothing but hell went loose afterwards and I was called all sorts...arrogant, stubborn and that I have a strong heart etc. 

The next day, a meeting was held and I was announced to be "the goat in the midst of sheeps". If I want to explain anything I would be told to shut up that I'm too stubborn, I have a bad attitude. Nobody wants to hear my point of view. 

I'm so pained, I've cried my eyes out. How am I arrogant? Because I refused to accept insults? Every one is against me. I see how they look at me with disdain. I hear my parents talk about me at night. I hear my mom fueling the situation, meanwhile she was there when I was being insulted and she did nothing.

 I'm now the devil of the house. 

The other day my elder sibling smoke weed and after finishing , came to trouble me while in my room and ended up destroying my things/appliances. It was said that I don't know my mate that I act like I'm the elder one, how??? 

Nobody understands me, and when I retreat into my shell and be alone in the room. They said I was doing madam, I was keeping malice. I just want peace of mind!

Indeed family is not everything

This whole thing makes me want to go far away so they can have space devoid of me. Can't stop crying...

I really dont know what to say, you did not indicate your age or if you have finished school...
This is a new year and if everyone in your house misunderstands you, it is possible that you are doing something to give off that impression...I am not supporting them but please you you just take out time to check the whole scenario again? And other times as well?

If you check and still find that you are without blame then i am so sorry that you are going through this.... Perhaps you can approach your parents at different times and try to talk or apologize to them peace sake?
If your mum is the one fueling the situation, then look for a way to fall into her good books... it does not mean that you are wrong but it will fetch you the peace of mind that you seek...

Good luck.


  1. This is too much for one to bear o. Lack words please take everything easy and go to God in prayers. Best choices to you dearie

    1. There's always that one person that is misunderstood in almost every family.
      I have friends like that and they always complain bitterly.
      Please give them some space, not malice but space.
      When they don't ask for advice do not feel the need to contribute.
      You will be seen as different and stubborn if you continue to force yourself and opinions on them.
      Also try not to think about it too much of else it will continue affecting you and cause more your mind

    2. I was seen as stubborn and what-have-you in my family. I was always on my own because if I'm close, one or two misunderstanding would occur between I and my eldest sister. I planned on running away because my mom was always on her side. Looking back I know what brought about the issue is my sister's mindset that since I'm the last born, she shouldn't touch a pin in the house to the extent that she cannot stand up and get water to drink.

      Now, my mom and her hubby complains of her laziness, me, the hardwork she put me through has made me capable of doing all sorts of work.

      Now, im cool with everyone because we are all grown up and if you send me on any errand I dont like, I'd simply say NO.

      My darling, take it easy, they love you, I understand because I questioned if my mom truly loves me then, lol. Well, she does and so does your mom.

      I think its an African mother thing

    3. You are too young for this. Drop negativity its too early and focus on making good grades.

    4. Anon 19:10 high five, Happy New Year

  2. So not approach your parents to talk about it. I repeat, do not.
    If you're old enough move out and damn the consequences. If not, please keep to yourself, do your chores and mind your business.
    Yes, some parents are like that. They have favourites and they dont even care

  3. You may be doing somethings that you didn't realize that it is bad,sometimes we hurt people without knowing,try to discover yourself,maybe you get angry easily over little things or you believe you are always right,whatever it is please search through yourself and adjust.
    Find a way of talking to your parent about how they treat you or talk to an elder in your family who can talk to them on your behalf.
    Please don't kill yourself,all will be well .stay blessed

    1. She's not doing anything. That's how they behave when there is something about your glory they can't handle. Maybe you're that child they tried to abort but they didn't succeed. Or you outright don't belong to one of them. Or they've tried to sacrifice you in hard times and it didn't work. I don't trust Nigerian parents.

      I lived all my life fighting to be loved equally by my parents but I can assure you it's never going to happen.

      This is just an early reminder that they're never going to love you or respect you until you make it RESOUNDINGLY. I bolded that for emphasis.

      Don't waste your life like me dwelling on and craving their unconditional love infinitely. It's not going to happen. The problem hasn't even started yet. Wait until you start doing better in life than their other children.

      My advice is for you to grow up and wise up. Use the feeling you have now to motivate yourself to make it in life at all costs. Never feel entitled to their anything. Not money, not love. Just see everything as a stepping stone to where you're going. Stop wasting your energy fighting for their love. You will never get it. Even when you become successful in life. Be wary of all of them. They will come with fake love. And before then, be warned ahead cos they're going to continuusly manipulate you with money.

      If I were you, I won't let the change in you be too drastic or noticeable either. Still show tantrums once in a while just to distrat them. But know what you're doing. Cos if you're suddenly calm and mature, they'll know you're near saved from their evil claws. Once your mother knows you've decoded, she will change strategy. They usually come with fake love. So that you can tell them your secret. Be warned!

      Walahi! You've not seen anything. So my dear, I can't advice you yet cos problem never even start. Their mission is for you to SELF-DISTRUCT. Since you're invincible. They want you to either lose your mind or destroy yourself. Just keep callm. All they are doing now is minor compared to when you'll be begin to face real life issues.

      Just be the bigger person and avoid all of them's (if there is any such English) wahala.

      Focus of making it in life. Quietly and consistently.

      If you still need them financially, play along. Finish school, Get a job and be independent first.

      You never know anything. If you're seeing what I'm seeing, you'll even get married without their knowledge. Or finalize everything before they hear.

      You need lots of prayers for God's counseling and protection. And to facilitate your breakthrough.

    2. Anon 18:21... You must be in a very difficult place. Your write up is fill with pain. I pray you find the help you need.

    3. Anon 18:21 is right… my prayer was always to be the cornerstone of my family and God did it. I remember when my mum and brothers ganged up to beat me, or is it when my younger brother told me that I may not be their child, or is it when my mum told me I am the cause of my father’s death. Mind you dad dies in a car accident when I was 8years. I remember refusing to study Medicine because it meant I was going to be at their mercy for years. I also Remember saving massively in my first job and moving out immediately I had enough. Now I am doing better and I have suddenly become the golden child but I always ensure to remind myself that, I have no one in this world, I am my own champion. Don’t self destruct, bid your time and persevere. Don’t talk to anyone about it, use that as a motivation for growth. Wishing you the best.

  4. That word is "compliments" and not "complements"

    1. Go and sit down somewhere. In this age that we all know it could easily have been typographical or slip of key board, not to talk of, what does it matter? All the English you know, how much has it fetched you? Financially, spiritually, physically and morally? Tell Oyinbo to come and speak Yoruba na!
      I'm not even the commenter. I didn't even read their comments but your response pissed me off.

  5. Let me be honest with you, sometimes check yourself. You might be the problem. While reading your post, it reminded me of a friend I had to walk away from. She was very toxic, always getting into fights with her siblings, never took corrections, never saw any wrong in herself too. It sounded like what you wrote up there, knowing her, I knew her nature, she was draining me, said stuffs like what you said, I want to kill myself, suicide. Please, check yourself, you might have an attitude problem, and you need to learn patience and tolerance in dealing with family.

    1. Her behavior was an end product of her toxic environment.If you're loved,my dear you will exude love wherever you're.
      Some parents love their children and relatives differently and it's a problem hence they tend to overlook the shortcomings of one more than the other and this other child is taking note.In the same vein,they turn a blind eye whenever those loved ones insult the other one. My dear If you've not been in this situation,you won't really understand the pains of the poster.
      There's this friend of mine,she said when she started menstruating,her mother never told her anything about it.She only learnt it in school but when her younger sister started hers,she wanted to educate ( as an elder sister now) her sister simply said "mum has told me already and walked away.If you were in her shoe, will you be happy?
      If you bring out this issue as a subject of public debate, you will be shocked to hear the experiences of others.

    2. Did you know what your friend went through? I was like that to and in between all that I was going through constant sexual molestation by my own father. Hence my attitude. What do you know? Judge Judy!

    3. Pls write to Stella about sexual molestation by your father or Stella make a post about sexual molestation by family members

  6. Thanks for having a restraint from ending your life. I can assure you that what is "on the other side of suicide is not good." It is hell.
    I commend you for being able to be sober and be able to live in the same house with weed smokers; it is not easy to handle anyone that do drugs; whichever the brands are.
    Tolerance is needed. Encouragement is needed and I think you can find that encouragement in God's Word. David reached a point when his men (soldiers that were supposed to protect him) discussed about stoning him. By the way they all lost their families to raiders. His offence was? Yes, he was their leader! Don't you see that you, probably the only sane and sober person in the midst of your brothers are their leader (in morality and whatever endeavor you are in)? So try your best (God helping you) to be the best in your chosen career and stay focused. Do not hate them because that will put you at variance with God who taught us to forgive those that hurt us so that we can have and retain forgiveness from God himself.

    1. Poster, TAKE THIS ADVICE and frame it within your heart.

      God loves you and YOU WILL BE GREAT! 💖🤗

  7. Family is everything to some and not to others.I experienced even more than this but not from my parents though(I'm an orphan).If I narrate my own experiences,poster you will weep on my behalf but I endured it all.
    The secret is prayers, taking your education or whatever you are doing seriously bearing in mind that one day you will leave the house.( Perhaps after Nysc)
    Try to make your own income in a legit way so as not to depend on anybody later.
    One major disadvantage is,it might lead you into making a wrong marital choice due to desperation of wanting to leave the family.That was my own case but God showed me mercy.

    May God help orphans,the motherless,fatherless, vulnerable children and people struggling in toxic families. It's not easy and can really be sucidal but it's well.

    1. If a parent is a narcissist and empath or both narcissists the children go hear am

      Scapegoat go dey
      Golden child go dey

      However scapegoats are the toughest and survivors when realise they are in tje idst of the incapable, fearful, envious, or mean "family" members

  8. Everyone cannot be against you even your parents... something is definitely wrong with you

    1. Parents need wisdom to manage sensitive children

  9. The poster might just be an introvert, and people will feel he or she is standoffish, a lot of times we aren't paitent to understand that people have different personalities.

  10. Most times when we get rebuke by our parent we take it to mean that they hate us and no one seem to love us in the family, poster I'm not saying your mum was right, I'm only saying don't take it to heart, Family is everything, they might be some bad eggs it doesn't mean that a stranger is better off.

    1. There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother

      The enemies of a man are members of his own household

      If you still doubt ask Abel about Cain

      Family is not blood , it is commitment and loyalty in action

    2. Thank you @Jet li for this response.

      Family IS NOT EVERYTHING when they are toxic, abusive and manipulative!

  11. Your story is sad. Two things is involved, either you are really at fault or they are not your real parents. It might be that you are stubborn like your mother indicated and also have anger issue. Having younger siblings means that you have to be tolerant and let go of grievances.On the other part, if all you describe up there is something to go by, which indicate that you are not the problem or a trouble maker and still get the hard treatment from your mother, It might be that you are not their real daughter. My advise for you is that you take things calmly. Being suicidal or depressed wont solve the matter. Take a deep search within your soul, start being positive and learn to overlook what your siblings do. If you are still young, develop yourself, get busy with school or work or just do something. You can learn the art of writing. Put your future into perspective, think of being successful, set a target and focus on it. I tell you something, if as black sheep, you become successful tomorrow, those who looked down on you will serve you. Above all love yourself.

    1. If you write send it into cloud

      Hardcover will be enticing to troublemakers if it falls into their hands

      Bullies and gangup

      They never end well

  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

  13. So sorry about all you are going through. Just give them some space for the now. Good evening

  14. Dear poster, please focus on your goals and keep them at arm's length.
    My mum did worse to me, at some point I was always having dreams were the both of us were fighting (a lot)....
    She was always cursing me, and telling me it would never be well with me and all that!! Most times, she encourages my younger brother who is 10yrs my junior to insult me and fight me.
    After youth service (while I was job hunting) she made my life unbearable, I wanted to run away or get married( Asap) because I was avoiding her wahala
    But after the death of my Sister, I started getting physical and attacking her whenever she comes in order to get her off my back because the week my sister died, they had an altercation and she told her she won't see the end of the month.......The next-day, my sister died!!!!! (She was Hale and hearty ohhhhhh) Tho, Later on i had a rethink and decided to focus on my goals and mind my business (even if she is dying, I don't shake) I stopped talking back at her and did as if she was none existent!!!!!! And it has been working fine for me...
    I told myself, I would leave my Father's whenever I want to, and not because of her.
    I have a good job now and I am doing so well for myself. She has been trying to come around but it's too late.
    Mind you,
    In my own case, my violent mum never liked me because I was best buddies with my late dad, Sadly, I look so so much like her
    Please just avoid them jare, Some families are something else

  15. You sound like me a couple of years ago, are u a teenager or early twenties, na so dem dey vex. Trust me, this is not what should have been bothering you. Better issues dey come as u mature.
    For now, learn handwork, learn coding,learn make up,hairs and so. Na money go stop nonsense. Stop even getting angry with anybody, u dnt have time for such negativities. You have a lot to learn, stop brooding in ur room,go out and get things done, no time.
    How I wish somebody told me this as a teenager.

  16. In my experience, when one is blunt as in say the truth as it is without fear, doesn't allow intimidation or manipulation from anyone, stays on his/her lane, people hate such person , mostly narcissists. They will want the person unhappy and belittled at all cost

    1. True that, some families want every one to bend to their rules, to speak with one voice, even when that one voice is a lie! But some of us choose to stand out like a sore thumb, speaking the truth and refusing to bend to manipulative rules, we are thus called sheep, weakest link etc.etc...indeed some families operate like the mafia!

    2. Poster could it be that you are jobless, you are still single and you are not supporting them with anything cos for your family to be against you there is somethings you didn't tell us here.

      No one is supporting your family by treating you badly but check it out and if you find out that they will not allow you have peace of mind please stay away from them by relocating from that location wirh that you will earn your respect.

      Some family members are so terrible that they cannot allow you to drink water and keep cup. Some terrible family members has pushed one into marrying wrong people and taking wrong decisions. Please do not allow them push you into frustration before you do something crazy.

  17. From experience some parents tend to favor the child doing well better.
    So I will advice you work on yourself. Pray to God and work hard

    Also if you are old enough to leave the house. Get a place to stay


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