Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRIED TO A LIAR
Hello Stella please I need urgent advice. keep me anonymous.
Hello Stella please I need urgent advice. keep me anonymous.
I recently got married to a man I felt I knew. This man isn't rich so I didn't marry him for money. In fact as I'm speaking to you right now I live in a self contain with my husband and I have neither a television nor chairs just a bed.
I don't even mind his financial status. I married him because I loved him.
I thought he was the best thing to happen to me.
We had a long distance relationship but we spoke twice every day over the phone. We even had very long conversations so I felt I knew him. I met and married him a virgin.
Stella I come from a very strict Christian home so I have lived my life in a somewhat godly way. I try all my possible best to avoid every form of evil.
I am privileged to be a beautiful lady so I met several men during the course of my single days.
I had so many proposals from different people so I don't know what possessed me to marry this man I married. I had a very low key traditional marriage and a court wedding.
I didn't have a church wedding and my mom was not happy because of her Christian belief and all. She and my dad have been very supportive but my mom has insisted we have a church wedding no matter how low key before we start having kids.
Down to the main problem. On getting to this man's base I realized he was quick tempered and shameless. I am not saying that I don't have my issues but this man can shout at you in public without any care in the world. In fact he has slapped me, pointed his fingers in my face, pushed me out of the house and all sorts.
I discovered he does yahoo yahoo. According to him, nothing is working in Nigeria so he has no choice. All my pleas for him to stop yahoo has fallen on deaf ears.
The worst part of this whole charade is that just few days ago I discovered crack cocaine in his bag. In fact, he sells crack cocaine. His defense when I confronted him was that I was pressuring him for a church wedding so he needed to raise the money.
I had hidden the cocaine when I discovered it in order to show it to his brothers but he tried strangling me just to get it back. I have been shouting and insulting him.
My dad has been saying I should not shout because it might turn things against me.
I am tired and frustrated. How can I not shout. I left so many rich guys because of this same yahoo. In fact I told him several times before marriage that I detest yahoo guys with a passion. I asked him specifically before we got married if he was into yahoo or any illegal stuff. I didn't have any suspicion or anything.
I was just asking as per asking. This guy knowingly deceived me. According to him he didn't want to lose me so he had to cover up. That everything he was doing was because of me.
Stella what do I do.
I don't have a child yet. Everybody is asking me to pray and endure. I don't want my children to carry a curse they know nothing about because of the sins of their father.
This is the worse thing that has ever happened to me. I have known nothing but tears and sorrow since I got into this shame of a marriage. I can't even leave his base because I am serving there.
*Everybody is asking you to pray and endure? Including your parents? Hmmm he tried to strangle you, slapped you and pushed you out of the empty house shows that you are in a physically violent marriage!
You are lucky that there are no kids that will make you say you are staying because of the kids.... ..
You know what to do......
You better end that charade you call a marriage before it ends you.
ReplyDeleteAnon@15:06 I don't know you but you deserve a bottle of wine for this your comment! Poster stay there and be asking us JAMB questions whether or not you should stay there till they carry your corpse away then your YAHOO YAHOO HUSBAND WILL MARRY ANOTHER WOMAN!!!
DeletePoster any man that raises his hands to hit a woman is nothing but a beast and deserved to face death by firing squad. I'm against all forms of domestic violence against women and children. You can separate from him for now to clear your head. Even if you're serving in his state it doesn't matter. You can always raise money and get your own place first, then calm down and think of what next to do.
DeletePoster, I have only one advice to give you: Leave that marriage! It is time to leave. Don't think twice about it just leave.
DeletePS: I am a guy.
Better end this now ...Now I mean Now
DeleteDust your slippers and bounce
DeleteYou came, you saw please conquer.
Don't bring innocent children into this home, you don't know the curses waiting for them.
If you have a job it should be easy
Please just leave
LEAVE NOW!!! You are not 'married' yet, so JUST LEAVE!!!
DeleteThe guy must be really cute, for you to leave other reasonable guys to marry church rat. You got carried away by his handsomeness. Now early breakfast is served.
DeleteAbionah she married a fine Devil. Very naive girl
DeleteMy dear sister, run for your dear life. Which everybody??? Are they living with you and receiving slaps and choking? It will pain me if you allow your life to waste because of what people will say. You will meet your God destined husband move out work on yourself and make money husband will come. Please I am begging you. God will see you through.
DeleteWhen you are strangled in your sleep and they carry a corpse instead of a living human
DeleteThen you can tell GOD how much you hated this world,didn't believe in a better life for yourself and didn't pity your parents
Madam u married this an without knowing anything about him. U guys only talk on phone. Maybe out of society pressure. Hmmm I hv no advise. Good luck.
Delete@poster, if his Yahoo doesn't work, as is obvious, he will upgrade to Yahoo plus and might use you for rituals... Run while you are alive. File for ANNULMENT, NOT DIVORCE. Google annulment.
DeleteThis one has nothing to do with pray and endure o. He might even use you do yahoo yahoo ritual. You know the right answer to your ordeal.
DeleteIf your head is no longer in the marriage and you think you cant trust him to change, please head for a divorce. Dont wait until its too late. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteWrong foundation.
DeleteFeel so sorry for you poster what women endure. Some men sef u will ask questions and they will be getting more angry to even answer you just to cover up. May God help us not to fall into such temptations Amen 🙏.
ReplyDeleteLike Stella said, you know what to do.
ReplyDeleteWhat you should have done before tying the knot is what people are asking you to do now- PRAY.
ReplyDeleteThere is NO WAY you would have been in this mess if you really sought the face of God concerning this guy. You allowed yourself to be swayed by your feelings for him and you neither prayed (correct me if I am wrong) nor carried out due diligence.
If all you stated there are true, then it is time to GET OUT because the marriage was based on pretence.
I wish you all the strength and courage you need at this time.
How can she get out without the support of her parents and friends, relatives, etc? She is a youth corps member, no job yet.
DeletePoster, pls don't threaten or insult him anymore. Don't fight him anymore. Just keep quiet and pretend you are now "understanding" for the sake of your life but start taking birth control pills so you don't fall pregnant. Don't do any church wedding pls.
Finish your service, get a job and leave the marriage. This one that no one out there is in support of you leaving the marriage, you will suffer if you leave without any financial and moral support. Stella and her bvs will not give you money and support to stand on your feet if you leave now.
In fact, if you come here to tell your story and beg for assistance, they will insult you and call you a fraud who wants to dupe bvs with sob story. That is if your comment is even enabled.
Leave. if u are bothered about what people will say then relocate. You will meet ur own man and with time everyone will move on.
Deleteposter didn't even wait after service before marriage. Why are girls of these generation in such a haste? From University straight to husband house without 5kobo in your account but you want three types of wedding done. what's your own contribution? Oga...
DeleteVery well said Twins squared.
DeleteAnon 15:48. Clap for yourself. Poster na you sabi. Thank God you are an adult. The BV that was reported dead today will have wished to be alive and poor.
Delete16:10. I wonder why too. What is the essence of your University education?
DeleteYou went straight from school to husband house. Next thing is to start giving birth and after some years, your time will pass, you won't get a job anywhere and no money for business. You will now turn to internet beggar except you have a rich relative that can set up a business for you.
You are now blaming the poor guy for doing all sorts to sustain you both. Frustration alone is enough to make him act that way. He will beat nonsense on your body if you keep bugging him.
Imagine your mum disturbing you about church wedding, how much did she drop for you guys to do it? Which job or business did she give you to support your husband with? You better don't get pregnant in your condition, if not, na sufferness 10pro max you dey invite into your life and that of your child.
16:10, thank you.. Poster, you've rushed in now you better rush out. I must join my friends marry..
DeleteLovelace
Anon 15:48, why can she get out? She's a corps member, and so? Aren't most of the corps members single (unmarried)? and surviving on their allowee plus ppa allowance? Then why is hers an exception?
DeletePoster if you love yourself, GET OUT OF THAT SHAM OF A MARRIAGE. You won't get it easier than this.
Can't your loss and move in the name of God, your husband is a lost cause. If he is selling cocaine, then he's likely a user too, isn't that disaster in waiting? Guy will wake up one day and break your head by mistake.
Chai.... lemme read comment please. Good afternoon
ReplyDeleteThis man clicked all the negative vibes. Yahoo, cocaine, domestic violence, poor, lazy and you are yet to see others. Distance relationship does not give one the opportunity to see the true colour of a spouse. You are expected to be enjoying your honeymoon and all these beating and slapping is happening?. Is marriage by force?. As a youth corps member, you are below 26years. I don't know your deal breaker. I will not suggest you leave your marriage. please watch war room.
ReplyDeleteThis is clearly One chance and not a marriage, Nne biko run before you feel tied down with pregnancy! This is not the time to watch war room or any other movie self. Run fess and find your way later biko.
DeletePoster, pack your things and run!!!! Leave that thing you call a marriage now that you still can before you are taken out in a body bag.
ReplyDeleteBody bag
DeleteIn pieces sef
The man is clearly a criminal
This is so disheartening!
ReplyDeleteYour life is in real danger in that house. This man not only deals in coke but he sniffs it too.
How do you marry someone without knowing what he does for a living; yes, you didn't mention it at all?
How do you go to church and face a serious issue like marriage and have not leading or conviction from God, but
just marry someone based on what that person told you he is?
Since you are a Christian, this is built on lies, swindling and greed which is idolatry, see Eph. 5:5. So you do not have
any basis to stay in that house as a wife. In order to think clearly and be safe
begin to fast and pray. This kind of guy should be into some rituals to support his evil trades.
End that marriage and try to be better. You both bring out the worst in each other and you’re both not mature. Before you get into another relationship, try self therApy. Cos you shouting back at him means you just degenerated to his level
ReplyDeletemake I spoke pidgin, now wey na early morning for that marriage u better find your way comot...physical violent, Yahoo, crack cocaine...run sis run
ReplyDeleteHe is capable of using her to do money rituals.
DeleteMy sister, run and do not look back.
Maybe he jazzed you sef
Are I still asking????
ReplyDeleteRun!!!!
You want to expose who sells crack and you decided to show his brothers? That's suicide, u lucky he didnt kill u. That you are from a Godly home doesnt mean you shouldn't be wise, God did not show who your husband abi the strict christian home is just a farce? Hmmm
ReplyDeleteDear Naija parents, mothers especially, please, e joo, biko, let's make efforts to train our sons the way we are raising our daughters.
ReplyDeleteLet's instill good morals into them and stop with the boys will be boys mentality.
Let's realize the fact that the boys you refuse to raise well will end up being the tormentor of someone's well raised daughter and the the cycle continues.
Or how do you explain a situation where someone's virgin,born again daughter will marry another fire fire Christian brother and realize the guy is a sex addict who was always doing hook ups, lied about so many things, a lot of things I can't type now just weeks after marriage?
How can you both agree to participate in the current RCCG fast without sex and your wife stepped out for a business an you invited a girl home for sex? The kind of things older generation parents did from a young, highly cerebral supposedly Christian brother?
I happen to be a mother of 4 well raised girls, raised with the fear of God and this is the second wedding and the second horrible experience from Naija guys.
I am so tired and scared for the other girls
I feel exasperated about it all.
Wow
DeleteLet the rest of the girls marry non fire fire Christian Brothers. Theyay enjoy their marriages than the ones who married supposed born again brothers
DeleteEweeeyyyy
DeleteWow
Many so called Christian Brothers are devils in disguise even some Pastors. Their wives are living in pains and masking it
DeleteYou know what to do. You really don't need any body to tell you. Na you wear shoe, e dey pain you, na you go decide weda to still wear am or pull am
ReplyDeleteYou know your enemies.. Those asking you to pray and endure..these are your enemies.
ReplyDeleteBetter run and leave that useless marriage. Am sure most of you carry una frustration on we blog visitors if we say anything not sweet una want to hear.
Carry your kaya run to another place if your parents don't want you with them
This is not how marriage should be na. Like Stella said, you know what to do.
ReplyDeleteThere should be a "good marriage chronicle" or "good news chronicle" post. All these sad stories are really tiring. People need to see something inspiring in this world, No matter how little.
ReplyDeleteBut when we post about how nice our husbands are and how we are enjoying our marriage, is it not same Bvs that will come crucifying u for sharing and then telling u to wait and see?
Delete15:48 seconded
DeleteMy marriage is very beautiful and I thank God every day for giving me my husband
Seconded
DeleteYes o, your perfect husband, please share abeg.
DeletePoster thank God you discovered all these now oya pack your bags and baggage and run as fast as your legs can carry you. Thank God no kids involved please I beg you to ignore those asking you to pray,tell them you'll pray from afar. Please leave to avoid more chronicles.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, take up ya bags or ghana must go and RUN!!!!Dont look back. If you like come tomorrow and say you dont know how you got pregnant.
ReplyDeleteThank God it was a quiet lowkey weddimg.Please quietly remove yourself from this horrible situation.
ReplyDeleteMy sister run ooooo run oooooo
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, leave that marriage while you still can! Thank God for making you discover all these early enough. Leave to live before someone will beat you to death or use for rituals! Ignore all the people including your family that is telling you to endure and pray! Make hay while the sun shines. May God be with you because it won't be easy but God got you.
ReplyDeleteStella with the stellar advice.
ReplyDeleteStella knows the chronicler knows what she wants to do.
The kronikler wan hear validation of her plans or suggestions on how to do it because her service base and husband house dey the same State
May God help her.
Its not all about being a virgin. Do you have a personal relationship with God? Do you seek him before making any move? Those men that came your way, have ever prayed to God concerning any of them? Or you just rejected them based on your own will? I have learnt that being a virgin or good girl is not what will fetch you a good husband but having personal relationship with the one who knows the heart of men. Go to God in prayers and ask him for direction!
ReplyDeleteNoooo
DeleteBeing a virgin will make them marry right, make them have children immediately after marriage and make their marriage last forever. Ignorant girls!
I knew you people will attack virgins when she mentioned that she married as one 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteSista, having a personal relationship with will still not guarantee you a perfect marriage, buko. Take it from one who knows. Just like saying you won't lack if you have a personal relationship with God. Na only enduring spirit you go gain jare. It's pure luck. I have seen people with none of that getting the best males. Leave matter jare. I saw hell with a spirikoko husband, fasting and praying together. Meeen, tufiakwa. Wetin my eye see, my mouth no fit talk am. Abeg carry your breached vagina vamoose from there as Stella tell you oo. I endured for 23 yrs, no be person tell me say make I carry my kaya run.Run! Run!! Run!!!
DeleteLmao. Pray and endure when there is even no child. Madam run for your life before that man use you do ritual!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteRUN!
Gbam! Yahoo+ way
DeleteLeave, avoid getting pregnant(do it without him knowing), leave(incase you didn't hear me the first time)...get a lawyer to file for a divorce(cause of the statutory marriage)....
ReplyDeletePoster,felt like I was the one who posted this. The only difference is that mine doesn't do cocaine but marijuana,doesn't have a job but the family business he is running is next to nothing as we can't even rent an accommodation
ReplyDeleteWe are presently squatting with his parents but he is cheating about, even with a single mother. When I complain to his parents they say pray and endure but their daughters cannot take half of what I take in this marriage. Because we stay with his parents,there is no insult I haven't received. They scold me like I am a small girl. They always emphasise how I should be a virtuous wife,and work hard for the good life but their son is good for frolicking with stupid girls.Anytime I complain of his cheating ways,they will find a way of blaming me.
Stay there na because I really don't know what advise you people want to hear again. You will be in a miserable situation but will rather remain there than leave and start afresh on ur own.
DeleteStay there biko
These people are manipulating you emotionally. Do you have a source of income? Please leave this family and start alone with your child. Virtuous wife indeed!! We tend to accept rubbish in the name of marriage. Stop complaining to them and act now.
DeleteAnd you are still there Anon 16:16.
DeleteYou women will never learn. Is that how you want to live the rest of your life?
At anon 16:16 you can so easily leave now because you are without a child. You can so throw that entire episode away and start over on a fresh new blank slate. Whatever you settle fo rnow is what you will have to continue settling for the rest of your life. And women like you who remain in these unholy unions become a fragment of themselves overtime. You see them walking around with broken faces, beaten down shoulder, smiles that never reach the eyes all dreams forgotten and just a spirit broken and lost. When ppl tell you to stick it out and endure they never talk about that part.
DeleteYou obviously are not happy there. You are being gaslighted and treated poorly and enduring it all for a cheat who has no good income. Stop complaining to his people about him, as a matter of fact do not bring up his name with them unless they bring him up. If you are working save the major part of your labour separately. If he is cheating then he is most like sharing his income with whomever he is cheating with to buy gifts, take on dates or whatever. If you are not working then seek out a job, even one in another state where you may have to relocate. Yep, they will try to tell you not to take a distance job but take it, you will be able to be out from under their roof and you will have an income of your own.
They will raise useless men and expect an unknowing woman to be trapped into taking care of an adult who behaves like he has no brain. Ditch those people. Let them clean up their son or whatever the hell they want to do.
DeleteListen, I didn't read all of this because if there was worse to read after the coke I can't imagine what. Poster, it's called getting an annulment. Quietly pack a simple travelling bag and take your clothing and get the hell our of that place. Mistakes do happen in life and chalk this marriage up to one such mistake. Do not listen to ppl who are suffering themselves and looking for company telling you to stay and endure. Nobody who cares about you will ever tell you to endure that mess. Someone barking at you in public, slapping you, strangling you is not where you need to endure, it's where you need to depart from. Since you are a devout Christian then get down on your hands and knees in prayer and fasting and ask to be righteously removed permanently from that marriage. Ask for a spiritual divorce and you will receive it. If you want to be stubborn and use religion as the reason to stay in such a union just remember that the police will also take you in if they shake him down. Your name and picture in the local newspaper as a drug wife is going to spread like wildfire and you will never be able to fix your reputation after that. His rivals could kidnap you or kill you. So it is better for you to make an empowering choice for your life and run and don't look back. Don't use religion or love to stay there, he does not love you and you got married unequally yoked, and if you stay then even you do not love yourself.
ReplyDeleteThank u very much. I don't want to put my mouth before idiots will start using my suggestion to wish evil on my marriage but thank u for saying my mind.
DeleteEka, this world is full of wickedness. Many of them are just dark hearted because they suffered or are presently suffering and want to see others suffer too. Imagine reading that tale and the best advice they can come up with is to tell the poster to endure, and have the guts to actually send it in. I am tell you, Satan work in very mysterious ways, using ppl in the most subtle of ways to build up his kingdom. Even suggesting she try to get some counselling or seek out a woman focused charitable organization would be far superior alternatives than telling her to stick it out and enduring.
DeleteTakes an idiot to know one sha.
DeleteMarriage is sweet not bitter.
DeleteRUN!
ReplyDeleteSorry for all you're going through, the marriage was really done in deceit. Like you said, you don't know the man you married at all. He hid things about him from you to discover them yourself. Your parents on the other hand are afraid of you divorcing because of their belief. I won't ask you to leave or divorce either. Try to see how you can make things work. The major challenge in your marriage is lack of finance. Since your family is aware of the situation, after having a heart to heart discussion with your husband, try to involve your parents too to discuss on the way forward.
ReplyDeleteOn your own part, stop shouting and complaining since you already know what you got into as shouting won't solve the situation. You can only truly want to talk about things when you accept the present situation. While discussing with your parents involved, the issue of hitting you should also be talk about. He might blame it on frustration, his excuse is not valid as there are other ways he could have sorted things out with you without raising his hands. He has to promise such won't happen again.
Y'all will keep advising someone going through domestic violence to try to see how things will work.
DeleteThis is how several women tried to see how things would work until they landed in their grave. But what do I know 🤷♀️
The major thing is not finances
DeleteIt's greed and wickedness.
This man can sacrifice her.
A whole lot of people are broken but they won't do yahoo or sell crack
Eka, the poster knows her situation better than I do. poster, if you know it's something that can be worked on, try to make it work. If not, separate for your sanity.
DeletePush up, it could be greed and wickedness like you said. A man that couldn't open up and come clean to someone he was going to marry can equally do anything. A lot of people are not having it easy but did not resort to drugs and yahoo so he has no excuse
Do you have any idea how low someone dealing coke can go? Please poster, don't listen to De Heroine oo. His actions show that he is sniffing too. Run for your dear life oo.Talking from experience.
DeleteThe major challenge is finance?? Did u read this chronicle at all? The challenge is that she's married to a man with ZERO MORALS & INTEGRITY who can do ANYTHING for money.
DeleteThere are many who are broke but don't resort to crime aunty. Give this man 1million for free & I promise he will remain a thief & drug pusher. There are things that cannot be fixed!
A man who sells coke only deserves a fellow coke seller as wife, not an innocent girl who knows nothing about that life.
DeleteStop justifying why she should stay with that man/boy. It is not safe for her dammit!
Poster don't consider staying at all. God forbids bad thing, so you served God all your life to become a Yahoo boy's wife? No please.
Poster just for emphasis, even if he promises even and earth to change, don't stay.
DeleteYoung Lady please let pregnancy not enter by mistake o. Dust your shoes and run. This is a time bomb waiting to happen.
ReplyDeleteNigerian marriage...whew chile ...the ghetto😥
ReplyDeleteThis is why someone said some churchy girls are naive and foolish, you saw fine boy and jumped on him without finding out what he does for a living and his true character. You were doing virgin virgin without applying wisdom and prayers.
ReplyDeleteThis one that he is beating you and embarrassing you already, even tried to strangle you, he will soon use you for rituals to up his Yahoo game, ever heard of Yahoo plus?
You better run for your life. Go and stay with a friend if you have no where to go. When there is life, there is hope.
Don't worry about your mom that is concerned about her church people. If you die today, she will cry and cry and wipe her eyes, sebi she has other children.
Poster read the last part of the comment above me well. He can use you for rituals. RUN!!!
DeleteLEAVE TODAY. Yes I am shouting at the tope of my voice. LEAVE TODAY!!!
ReplyDeleteMay God heal marriages is becoming scaring
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, Well, nothing spoil yet. I can imagine the kind of pain you are in now, but no point crying over spilt milk.
ReplyDeleteStart praying and asking God for mercy and direction. Forget about feeling sorry for yourself, you need to be strategic at this point in order to make informed decisions and steps.
Quietly make an exit when he is not around. You can start moving your things small small. Make sure your phone calls and chats are protected from him.
Yes you are serving in his state of residence, you could have some corp member friends who could house you or ask family and friend to loan you a little, or go to the NCCF corpers' lodge and perch there, there should be also catholic corer's lodge and Winners corpers' lodge. As you can see, there are many alternatives. You need a cool head to think and make plans.
Then decide after seeking the face of God and waiting for HIM TO SPEAK TO YOU THIS TIME before making the final move. Don't be emotional, BE STRONG 💪🤸♂️. Your life is not over yet, your best is yet to come.
Hugs 🤗🤗 and kisses 😘😘 from here.
Poster, what was the rush though? How come you married this guy while serving which meant the courtship was a long distance relationship.
ReplyDeleteWar room ko!! Battle field ni!! Someone is dying and you are saying this!!She must not manage a badly raised man!!she is still young!!Madam run oo!!no pray for am oo..Don't waste your prayers!!
DeleteThe ease at which you people shout run run baffle me. Run to where? To her parent's house or under the bridge? A corp member with little income. Make una dey sofri sofri, abeg. My dear, go and watch war room.
ReplyDeleteWell, I get we better scream, die! Die! Die! then
DeleteRun to even a cave. Where does it matter where she runs anyway, all that matters is that runs to preserve her life. Her life is in danger and she needs to stealthily leave that home and go back to her place or go to a relative's place that he has never met and does not know about.
DeleteThose who served without being married , where did they stay?
DeleteHer case is even better because there's no baggage 🛄 so she can up and leave ASAP.
How low can your self-esteem be, that you tell someone to remain in a marriage with a liar, thief & drug pusher who beats her, insults her in public, etc? Where exactly did u people throw your self esteem & self respect? How were u raised?
DeleteAbi are u being sarcastic?
What are you saying fgs? How many people in Nigeria served in their parent's house?
DeleteDid people not go out there to other states and survive for 1 year without any assistance from external sources?
People stay in nccf, and church lodges, pair up with friends to rent a moderate apartment, squatted with someone in some instances for that 1 year and they didn't die!
Poster is even earning allowee (that is more than some people's monthly salary in this present day Nigeria), so again I ask, what are you saying?
Pack your load fast and never look back
ReplyDeleteMy sis my situation was similar to yours Abel run leave before children come, people like that is a No!
ReplyDeleteMadam!!flee!!..Run!!!..go away!!Madam if you don't leave now..hmmm..no manage a bad man oo!! I be man too!!Ruuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnn!!!
ReplyDeleteI usually don't comment on blogs but this here, I can't ignore. Poster, please, I beg you leave ASAP. Do not listen to any one asking you to stay and pray. Run as fast as your legs can-run!
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster run for your dear life, your so called husband is not only a liar but a drug addict because you cannot be selling hard drugs without tasting it.
ReplyDeleteMarriage thesedays is scary
ReplyDeletePoster better leave that marriage one guy scammed my friend, guy man was not doing anything he will leave the house pretending he is going to work in the evening he will come back he was squatting in his parents house with his younger brother and pregnant wife in a two bedroom flat you can imagine. it is a very long story my friend left and blocked her ears to every advice they returned the bride pride when they found out that she won't go back, now she has remarried the best weapon you have now is to protect yourself from getting pregnant because it will be hard for you to leave that is what my friend did and now she is happy better run and block their numbers if they start their preaching
ReplyDeleteThis one can use you for rituals cos he wants to make it. If you don't want to move out completely, at least separate for a while. This is a whole mess. A tickling time bomb. The question is will you be brave to take a step?
ReplyDeletePlease find the strength to leave this marriage. Make a plan and leave when he is out. This situation will definitely escalate even further. Get out now!
ReplyDeleteAside the domestic violence they are telling you to endure ,how do you sleep with your two eyes closed ,knowing that he is a Yahoo boys and he can use you for rituals? Stay dere o ,till dem carry your pants go do Yahoo.
ReplyDeleteGet the marriage annulled asap and run for your life
ReplyDeleteHis long term plan is to use you for yahoo plus via rituals,
ReplyDeleteDry your eyes, use your head, don't argue or Fight with him. Quietly move out and RUNNnnnnnnnnnn
Listen to Stella. It is easier when you leave by yourself. It would be more challenging when kids are involved. Be wise. You know where the door is. Use it.
ReplyDeleteDear poster abeg pick race as in japa, don't listen to those asking you to endure, you wear the shoes, you're the one in that marriage
ReplyDeletePoster are you still asking questions?
ReplyDeleteYour husband is evil, all vices are in his hands, to top it up he is poor & abusive.run ASAP. Don't let anything hold you back!
Even the Bible says be wise as serpent! You have to leave that marriages for now,if you can separate from him for a while,you are not safe with him from what you listed there,you didn't pray and fast before going into this marriage,otherwise it would have been revealed to you, nevertheless,I will suggest you pray and fast for 3 days and ask God to direct your pact,it is well
ReplyDeleteIt's unfortunate the worst marital advice most times comes from church people and priests, what is the meaning of pray and endure. I sympathize with you dear poster but there are several issues here, I see deception, living with a criminal mind, addiction, laziness and irresponsibility. I think as a christian if you had done your due diligence you should have seen some red flags during friendship stage, now to the issue of domestic violence, it's only handled one way, separation, not necessarily a divorce but you need to leave that toxic environment immediately, good enough you don't have kids yet so please find somewhere else to move to. If he comes pleading and you are going to accept him back, that's a big "if" then some conditions would be given to him and he would put it down in writing with witnesses.
ReplyDeleteIf you think of what people will say you will die in that marriage and they will still say something.pls dont fall pregnant so it will be easy for you to leave.
ReplyDeletePack your things and leave now ..I tell you he wont change.Had similar experience though with 3kids but I left with my kids and I tell you my life is good..divorce pending in court already..
Please you are still single ,you can survive please run run run b4 it is too late.
Take the advice or leave it but I will still tel you to run now.
A drug dealer is as dangerous as a kidnapper etc.
ReplyDeleteBetter run from there o. Endure kini? Ah!
ReplyDeleteThey are asking to you pray and endure because they do not have the courage to ask you to leave.
ReplyDeleteYou have to be very very strategic. Pretend for as long as you need to and after you are able to stand on your own, you can leave. Remember that getting pregnant will make it more difficult to leave the marriage. So it is either you ensure you get birth control underway, or you leave immediately. Because being strategic will also involve playing the fool, even to sex.
If you know what is good for you
ReplyDeleteRun away from that demon
Don't stay
Don't wait
Run
Don't get pregnant
Run
Run
Just run
You will survive and thrive
Don't bring children into that mess
He won't change
The mistake people make is that, they think just because someone goes to church and is born again, it means he will make a good partner.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Everyone has advised you wisely, it all up to you. I also want to add that MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT GET PREGNANT FOR THAT MAN. Do not let him trap you with a child. It is very difficult for a woman to leave a marriage with kids
ReplyDelete