Hmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DIFFICULT MOTHER IN LAW...
Please married women, how do you cope with a mother in law that is always trying to prove you can't cook? Just because mine was a caterer in her younger days, she is doing like cooking begins and ends in her kitchen.
She will call me randomly and ask what I cooked, I will say I cooked macaroni for example. She will now ask why didn't you cook rice. Or if I say I cooked soup or moi moi, she will say "You cooked and you didn't bring for me"? Then she will be asking how I cooked it. I will explain. She will now be correcting me. How I should have cooked it. I will just be answering "ok ma". I am tired.
Since courtship she has been behaving like this.
I made peppered meat when they where coming to see my parents. It was so nice everyone testified. She kept asking if I'm really the one that made it. I even got tired of telling her I'm the one till hubby (then fiance) had to step in and back me up. Even at that, after we got married, she used style to tell me that if I'm truly the one that made that peppered meat then one day I should replicate it and it must taste the same.
I'm constantly being unnecessarily scrutinized and it's getting tiring. I'm that person that people call to ask for my recipes but I don't understand why she keeps trying to make it look like I can't cook.
When I told my close friend about it, she was shocked. She was like me that she was hailing that my husband will enjoy my cooking, na me dem dey school like this? Me wey she dey call to collect recipe? That it's hard to believe that someone will even insinuate that I can't cook.
I talked to hubby about it, he said i shouldn't overthink it that his mum doesn't agree that anyone can cook better than her so i should ignore her. Anyway, I've learnt to ignore her and be answering "ok ma" to all her cooking lessons. Maybe I should even encourage her to publish a cookbook since she has too much knowledge and it doesn't want to stay in her head.
*Haha I found this funny..... Instead of getting upset, you can frustrate her by gifting her different dishes made with too much slat and pepper every day.. Since she feels you cant cook, please prove her right, she might just leave you alone so you dont keep bringing her bad food....Hahahahahhahaha
Poster stick with your husband. Mama is looking for what she didn't keep. Always avoid her and be answering ok ma
ReplyDeleteFor peace to reign.
Your last paragraph is the perfect solution for the problem. You got this. Or you want us to trash the old woman and tell you to cut her off that she is a witch? Why exactly did you call us to this matter, madam? Just watch BVs and your friends put ideas in your head that does not exist and help you make a mountain out of a mole hill.
DeletePoster, you obviously don't gerrit.
DeleteMama knows that you can cook and feels unnecessarily threatened cos your food tastes better than hers.
Don't let her bickering get to you, continue with your 'yes ma' .
As a matter of fact, if you really want her to stop, start hailing her cooking. As in, be hailing her unprovoked. Make her feel like she's the best cook ever liveth.
She'll let you off the hook
Poster I hope you are not from a poorer family or you didn't do eye service. There are certain things that are so strange.
DeleteWhy do people think this is right, normal or OK? sorry poster I can't relate.
17:32
DeleteThe mama truly sounds insecure, ignore her
Yes Ma
Yes Ma
No dey tear shirt
Sorry oh, but where do you have the time to pick these calls to be describing what you cooked and how well you cooked it. Unless you dont work, let her know you are quite busy with work and would call back later. Postpone her long calls till she gets the message. She just cant believe you cook better than her. I havent tasted your food but it really seems you can cook. Cheers
ReplyDeleteWhat is it with you people and "unless you don't work"? So picking calls is now such a herculean task that only people without a "job" have the chance to pick up call?
DeleteYou people can overdo things in a bid to make it appear you don't take SHIT.
So if she’s working, she can’t pick calls???? What if she calls at night? What if she’s self employed? This ur comment get as e be sha
DeleteAunty, i hope you know that there is a "no call policy" during working hours in many organizations including schools for teachers. You have the right to perceive the comment the way you like. I made mine, make yours.
DeleteTwins squared ur insecurity is showing, pls tuck it in. True talk said, “unless you don’t work” but in ur tiny mind, u changed it to not having a a job. What was meant was, unless the poster isn’t busy, work in this context could mean, business, heck it could even mean house chores. It just means something to do, not just being idle, waiting for the MIL’s call.
DeleteTrue talk, mama probably calls after meal time. She can't possibly be at work during/after cooking na
DeleteAnnon that Ekas ignorant comment is glaring. so you pick up calls while working...shows you don't work.
DeleteOnce my husbands father made a not so bad comment about my dress( just got married, said it made me look skinny..politely), immediately I told my husband and my darling husband warned him( yes warned). I went ahead to have a better relationship with him ( God rest his soul, than my own dad). Never start what you can't continue.
DeleteYour mother in law is over doing it and over stepping her boundaries. She should let you be and let his son be the one to complain about your cooking. When next she comes with such questions, tell her to come teach you how to cook. Most times ignore her questions about cooking and change the topic. You can even ask her personal questions she might not be comfortable with too.
ReplyDelete"Ok ma" is the way to go. She knows and understands what she's doing. She will soon tire.
ReplyDeleteYour hubby said don't overthink it but here we all are reading about this. The small 'ok ma' you've be doing that has not cast you and your husband yet, is you're about to change to different types of shalaye and even wan use draw your hubby leg come out. Your friend say, that friend say, this friend say..if you're a good cook as you claim, what's the problem? Can't you take this lightly? Different opinions ruin things. You should have just listened to your husband. What do I even know?🤷♀️ Every slaymafia to her mascara!😌
ReplyDeleteGbam! Check my comment up there.
DeleteMy mum's own was so bad that she complained about the food of even the finest restaurants. Nobody fit cook pass am be you who. I miss her ( she's late). I wonder how she would have been with her daughter in-laws.
DeleteI remember buying her food that I thought were the bomb severally and she will start from the first spoon to tell you everything that is wrong with the food. It's either Maggi is too much or the wasn't enough salt or there's no crayfish etc but she will still finish the food o. Let's not even talk about my own cooking, she will start with telling me how great I did but that next time I should reduce the oil or I should put the crayfish towards the end so that.....
Poster just keep indulging her and telling her she is the best. Inshort be calling her for recipes. Introduce her to the idea of the cook book sef or even YouTube for her to showcase her cooking. Just flirt with her ego and watch yourself have peace
Hmmmmm
ReplyDeleteI wish I could laugh. This woman is lonely and has decided to engage you to pass time.
DeleteWisdom will get you far.
Please, find a way to be dodging her calls.. You can pick up the call and switch it to loudspeaker. Keep it and be doing another thing.
Just before she starts asking you, turn around and ask her what meal she cooked. Tell her that you wished you can eat her sumptuous meal and hype her.
Don't let her busybody depress you..
Don't always pick her calls. She should call her daughter to lecture her.
Please face other things and leave the woman alone. She does not have any other area to shine, allow her shine in peace biko.
ReplyDeleteYour mother-in-law can look for faults ehn.Keep saying 'ok ma' as usual like you just said.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, she’s just a Bree Van De Kamp. It seems more like she’s criticising your cooking cos that’s the one thing she’s good at and wants to lord it over your head. You could have real fun with her by taking food over to her and introducing new recipes even cooking together anytime she’s around. Perhaps, she’s feeling a lil jealous and inadequate now that you are doing all the cooking for her son. They be like that sometimes.
ReplyDeleteYou made me remember desperate housewives 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Perxian you are the real deal! Poster abeg no give yourself headache oo on top of MIL. Keep her busy by using her to cook all you food for you na she go tire.
DeleteBree Vandecamp, the madam perfectionist. Very mischievous women indeed.
DeletePoster you see this advice by Perxian ehn just follow it. Its small jealousy that is doing her.
Delete😂🤣🤣🤣@stella.poster I understand how u feel.most mother in law's feel no woman is good enough for their son.they always feel u are their competition so they try to put u down in any situation.d worst is when d wife is a good cook,no they won't be happy.just kip ignoring her so u kip ur sanity in check cos dis can be very annoying.or better still if ur up to it.u both should pick a particular dish and see hu's taste better.
ReplyDelete😂😂😂 funny MIL she no get problem na your food be her problem 😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteIt's not funny tho. She knows deep down this lady can cook but she just wants her to doubt herself and reduce her esteem. Totally not good for her sanity cos she's going to doubt if she's really cooking well.
Delete😀😀😀😃
ReplyDeleteStella I greet you specially
My dear she probably wants to learn from you but her African parent nature will not let her ask you plainly.
ReplyDeleteKeep answering her, don't get tired.
One day if you live close to each other or you go visiting, preferably a weekend cook with her, let her guide you, correct you and learn from it. It is in a mother's nature to teach even when they want to learn from it.
If she was your mum judging your cooking will you be tired?
Do this for her believe me she'll love you more. Little gestures makes the heart grow fond
This is good.
DeletePoster please see it as a mothers love. Keep up with the yes ma. Most times intentionally ask for her opinion on the best way to cook a particular dish just to make her feel important even though you will not take her opinion. She is an older woman. They derive joy in being valued.
This issue of cooking that sounds simple might bring a big drift in your relationship with her which night in turn transfer to your other inlaws or cause a strong bond between you and her which can also transfer to your other inlaws. Please handle with care.
Follow Stella's advice. Give am food wey no good. By the time sh complains 2 or 3 times, people wey don chop your food wella go know say she just dey beef you
ReplyDeleteThat wrong. Why waste food in this Buhari economy. Please, it's not worth the stress.
DeleteWisdom will get you far in life. You don't have to bring caterpillar to a bicycle fight. Ko necessary.
Poster, if it is only cooking you have problem with your mother-in-law, then you've gat no problem at all. Just continue your "ok ma" and face front.
ReplyDeleteI think she wants you to show her some of your recipe especially that peppered meat. Mama wants you to show her how you made it but pride won't allow her ask you straight. Visit her with your ingredients and prepare the peppered meat for her. Just treat her like your own mother and see how you two will bond. You might also learn one or two from her as she was a caterer in her younger days.
ReplyDeleteExactly,poster do exactly as she said.pride is your mother inlaw's problem
DeleteI agree with you Prudent Tabitha 👍
DeleteThis! 👍
DeleteEmpty ego and pride
DeleteYou want to destroy your family because of okay ma right? She doesn't live in your matrimonial home. Your husband said you should ignore her, but you want a fight, you want a war between your husband and your mother in law. The war will eventually consume and overwhelm you. Some of you. lack the capacity to endure and be patient. I bet she doesn't even call you everyday
ReplyDeleteNot every gbas that deserves gboos. Wisdom is all she needs not fighting the mama.
DeleteBig mouth, why can't the husband tell the mother to leave the wife...you people just feel wives should be the ones ignoring. Anyway it's for Nigerian wives..weldone
DeleteThis is kinda funny.I know mama kind of person,she wants to be seen as the best cook in the world,she wants praises and all. It's fine you can do that. Always tell her to explain to you how she cooks this or that( even if U know it) that you want to blow everybody's mind with it. You will see her blush and very willing to tell you. And also calling you afterwards to know how it went. Don't over think it dear, na mama character be that
ReplyDeleteStella, I love you more, ������ I am married into a family self acclaimed chef and hardworking sister-in-laws, they always hammer it to my face, I accepted being a bad cook and very lazy. And I have peace. When they are around their brother cooks since I can't cook to their taste. Enjoyment is my destiny jor. Their brother never complained of my cooking and home keeping ooo, they said he is just managing , for 18 years so far? I thank GOD ooo.
ReplyDeleteSo what? How is that a problem? Invite her to cook for you as your cooking is her main problem. She would be delighted and you both can form a bond.
ReplyDeleteYou should not overthink it my dear, your husband is right. Try this, when she calls you again respond this way
ReplyDeleteMother in law:: Eheh what did you cook today?
Dil:: moi- moi ma
Mil:: how did you cook it?
Dil:: mumsy you know you are the best cook na, me I'm just trying my best. Just tell me how I should have cooked it so that next time I will cook it your own way.
Let her be doing the talking and answering Everytime.
Alex take it easy na why are you cursing the poster? May God heal you O. Poster dear just ignore your mother in-law totally it is clear she is a trouble maker and wants to drag you to the mud . The Lord is your strength dear.
ReplyDeleteIt's like the economy is dealing with that man's head.
DeleteHe is always angry at chronicles posters
Sad part it won't get him more money or favour. I think I know who he is...
DeleteDo not take this too seriously else, you will be giving yourself much headache. You also do not need to react to what she is doing, like your husband said, ignore her oversabi. She can cook. You can cook. Simple.
ReplyDeleteSDK, I'm in your camp joor. Make nonsense and give her let her have what to nag about.
ReplyDeletePlease manage this situation so that things don't degenerate. Then stop indulging her also. If she asks you what you cooked, simply say we have rice or whatever, then say 'We have . . . Would you like to eat, it may not taste as great as your food, but my husband enjoyed it, he has great taste, so I guess you may enjoy it also'.
ReplyDeleteBut NEVER EVER answer questions about how you cooked a meal, never answer that. If she asks, deflate her with 'Would you love to learn my recipe? I will bring it later to you, or I could share the Instagram handle with you,, or You can ask her son to send her a recipe or something. Play dumb with her, don't let her get to you, deflate her, but never get upset, never insult her. Despite this still try to have a great relationship with her.
Many women here are the mother-in-laws that they despise. Just give them 20 more years to see them in their true colours!
ReplyDeleteCutemista!
"MIL and DIL war" all the time. When Dante and Ceaser talk now you ladies will come after them.
ReplyDeleteSee the kind of silly issue that is causing silent war between two old women.
What is hard in avoiding her calls or finding an excuse to end call whenever your MIL start with her madness?
That one you call your husband, can't he tell his bag of problem he call mother to stop her madness?
All of you are annoying.
Gbam. Naija women always ignoring to the detriment of their own happiness. Imagine the ridiculousness she’s dealing with and for how long? It’s already affecting her and most are telling her to continue to ignore. Of course it’ll get to someone that knows she knows how to cook. Start reducing familiarity and stop picking every calls. Once in a while is fine. Let her call her kids naw ah ah. Shoo
DeletePoster, it's like your sense of humour is dead... someone that you should be using style to enter. Since she is a caterer, she can even come and help you make dishes in the house.
ReplyDeleteOne man's food is another man's poison sha. If I can see one mother inlaw that can be cooking for me right now I will be happy. Tease mama, joke with her, tell her you took after her In the kitchen oooo. Stop telling your friends your issue, they will escalate it and make it seems bigger. You don't have a problem ojare
Poster, you dont have a problem.
ReplyDeleteThank God it is not more than this, though it can be annoying but please keep saying yes ma to all her so called corrections and dont let it bother you.
Your husband already told you the truth about his mother..
Dont let anybody put ideas in your head because this is not an issue at all.
God will keep your marriage in Jesus name.
She's just correcting you, we learn everyday, no one is perfect in cooking, learn from her since she's a caterer
ReplyDeleteYou are assuming she can't cook. Is it only caterer that can cook?mtshew
DeleteHahhaha infact Stella Korkus you be real case.
ReplyDeleteChai poster your MIL get luck say no be me. Go ask wetin u do my MIL, she stop to branch my house anyhow since 2015 after she shit purgy purgy shit tire. Na the other wives she dey go dia house unannounced to chance them. Me i get my peace. *abeg make una no ask me wetin i put for her food o*
ReplyDeleteOh me my own mother inlaw dey like to show say she sabi cook, well all that nonsense end when electric stove shock am. Her teeth dey still pain her till tomorrow
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😆🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteNa you dey bother your head ooo. Ok ma no go cause quarrel so jus be giving it to her. She go tire very soon😂 keep yaself happy biko.
ReplyDeletePeople looking for who to give inferiority complex to
ReplyDeleteMama feeling threatened
Poster what you think you are is what you are
Leave an old insecure woman alone
Yes Ma (make it a game , don't pick all her calls, when she asks to point fingers, dodge am)