SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED
Good day Madam Stella...
Please Madam Stella and my blog adopted family. I need your kind advice in this Situationship.
COLLEAGUE: Sleeply baby
HUBBY: Yes
COLLEAGUE: pele
COLLEAGUE: Good morning my handsome king
COLLEAGUE: It is a cold Monday morning how I wish to be with you this morning just to show you how much I care and love you
COLLEAGUE:(sent an animated sex video to hubby)
HUBBY: Thank you love
HUBBY: I want this for real (replying the animated sex video from colleague)
COLLEAGUE: Really
COLLEAGUE: Love you too
HUBBY: Are you at work now, how are you feeling this morning
COLLEAGUE: cold
Hubby: should I come
COLLEAGUE: please do
COLLEAGUE: my sweetheart
The above recent chat was between my hubby and one of his colleagues. This is the same girl that has meant me on several occasions. The first time she saw me; she was complimenting my beauty and even went to their office to tell everyone how beautiful I am according to my hubby (this was when he just resumed with the company).
She goes through the same route with my hubby and he always gives her a ride before my hubby was later transferred from that branch to manage another branch. Sometimes when we are coming back from work, we will meet her at the bus stop when our car is already filled up and I will always inconvenience myself and share my space in the car with her just to assist her out of the bus stop.
I have seen their chats when I was going through my bank App installed on my hubby phone and I confronted him but he told me I was over thinking things so I let it slide and was watching before this chat they had which is why I need advice on the next step to take because my hubby knows I have read their chats and he has not said a word to me since that day maybe because he discovered I called the lady and even went ahead to delete the conversation. I have also refused to talk to him while thinking about the next step to take. After going through their chats, I called the lady through the same phone and asked her what I did wrong to her to try to break my marriage and all she could say is that if I have any problem with my Hubby, I should go sort it out. Prior to this recent discovery, we were living happily and enjoying ourselves.
This is not the first time this is happening. I have come across other serious chats with other ladies some years back of which he apologized and said he is just playing with them since he did not receive love while he was growing up due to the fact that he was conceived out of wedlock, now the only child and was not accepted by his grandparents and was not showed real love so he always craves for affection and the only way he knows he is loved is by....... in fact he said so many things and ended it by saying "it’s just nothing serious" I am overthinking it . So I stopped going through his phone for my peace of mind.
I married this guy with nothing. I mean NOTHING. We started from scratch together, We have been withering the storms together, working hard together and gathering funds together but now that things are getting better financially for us, he decided to continue disrespecting me in this way. Since we got married, I practically cut off from friends and so many people so that no one will mock (I don’t have the heart to take mockery) me because we are yet to get pregnant for several years now which is no fault of mine but his and this is what he decided to pay me with? Flirting and cheating on me?
I just need honest advice on what you will do if you happen to be the one right now. Please overlook any grammatical errors. Heartbreak nor sabi English when it’s bleeding. THANK YOU.
*You have no right calling the Lady, deal with your serial lover husband. Sit with him and have a talk but if you feel you have done that too often, hen take a break from the house, leave him with the kids and vanish for a few days, that should reset his head, it always works...... sometimes you say it all when you say nothing at all...
This is all the advice i can come up with for now....
Ah ah! Nawa o and you go try separate from am for now o
ReplyDeleteWhat if side hen is a beevee? They will just sit read your chronicle and laugh together. I hope not sha. I don't how to advise you, seriously because I know myself, I cannot swallow this rubbish.
DeleteDo whatever your mind tells you to do that makes you feel ok.
DeleteJust know that your anger will make them do more till they start irritating each other.
The best thing for you to do is pretend you don't care if you can! Because anything you do will somehow affect you.
Or better still; walk away! She won't last a year with him. They always latch on for you to do the dirty job. Once the baton falls on them; they run!
Shame on that your husband sha
God abeg.
DeleteStella, they don't have any children. The foolish man is infertile. Poster, please divorce him and marry a real man and start a family. A man like this will not change. Don't wait for an incurable STD.
DeletePoster please take this advice from anon 17:04. I snooped and recently found out that my husband of just 1year has been constantly chatting with not just his ex girlfriend but almost all the pornstars you can find on Snapchat and IG and he set his Snapchat to delete the chat immediately after reading. To say I was devastated and being heavily pregnant was an understatement. He apologised and deleted the apps in my presence only for me to find out He downloaded them again and started again. I confronted him and this man changed his phone's password, I just said ok.
DeleteTill today,I didn't say anything but I have started keeping secrets from him like money I'm making and trying to make myself happy. He sees how unbothered I act (eventhough it still hurts me, i have refused to let him know I'm hurt) and I know it's making him uncomfortable. Anywday he says he'd stay out late, I just tell him ok be safe. No longer, what time will you be back or who and who are you hanging out with, like we usually do to each other? I just say ok bye bye.🤣 Na him dey carry his own 2 legs come back home immediately after he closes from work and be acting like he is very sick inorder to get some attention from me.
It isn't easy, it will hurt, it still does but please channel your attention to yourself and do what absolutely makes you happy even if getting pregnant by the side will bring you that happiness o. It's time to be selfish too like them. Me I have started being selfish too though I will never cheat back until I'm ready to leave the marriage. For now, let me be making my plans.
Poster,
DeleteEverything you feel right now is valid and you had EVERY RIGHT to call that home wrecking girl.
I have actually been in your shoes. The side-hen was married too. What I did was pack my bags home the same day I saw the chat, posted the chats on their secondary school group page (both of them attended the same secondary school), and I contracted the services of a lawyer to start divorce proceedings for me ASAP.
I am married to a great man now who I have never had any such problems with. He also knows that I don’t mind taking a walk the day any man decides to act a fool.
In your case, I would take all the evidence to his company HR and leave that marriage immediately.
I have to tell you that you are making a mistake sticking with a unrepentant cheat who can’t even give you a child. What is your gain in the marriage then? That man is wasting your youth. You are better off alone so you can sort yourself out.
I beg you to sort out your life now while there is still time.
If you decide to stay, please still sort out your finances and begin to build friendships and relationships outside of this horrible man, you will need them.
Ada Bekee, you be WOMAN. I salute you babe! The moment a man decides to behave like a FOOL bounce!
DeleteNo time.
You are not a nurse, therapist, baby sitter and a ton of other roles Nigerian men will force you to take preventing you from reaching your full potential in life.
It's not about screaming 'I am head of this house' they should behave like an adult, show leadership skills and emotional intelligence, all of which are alien concepts to these men.
Poster, if you feel your marriage is worth fighting for, go ahead. Note that for a marriage to work, BOTH parties must fight for it. Not that one party will balance and the other person is doing all the work. If it's not worth fighting for, please throw away this liability and forge ahead.
Impotent, infertile man instead of you to concentrate on your marriage and see how to improve your situation, you are fucking up and down.
Also women, have your own money. I cannot emphasise this enough. Many of you are chopping shit steady in your marriages because you are financially disadvantaged. And always protect yourself from all these strange diseases men carry around, many of them have no cure.
As you have no child binding you together, please just LEAVE him. He told you the root of his cheating is from a childhood trauma which he seems not to be ready to overcome. I’m telling you to leave this because my father grew up exactly like your husband and my mother stayed and he didn’t stop cheating till his 70s, I’m sure I have other siblings I don’t know of. My father seeks validation and affection from every lady he meets. He was the child of a ‘second wife’. My grandfather was Christian so it was a secret second family situation. The lack of public acknowledgment made my dad feel unworthy. (I gathered all this from childhood stories he told us-he’s never been to his dad house, only his office. Never to the family home in our town too.) My dad has had soooo many affairs even with my Mums friends and he doesn’t hide it from us his children. My mum can’t even go to his office because he has affairs with the secretary and all his different side chics go there. My mum ‘pretended she didn’t care’-normal African woman carry face, but she was dying inside. It’s only as I became I adult that I realized she developed an eating disorder (bullimia) with her fixation on laxatives after every meal and took sleeping tablets almost every other night. Truly I say to you, It’s not worth staying. Sometimes I feel I need a refund of my childhood from being in the middle of my parents mess.
DeleteShe said no kid involved yet. I don’t even know what to advise this poster.
ReplyDeletePoster go to his office and embarrass him and the said lady. Rubbish
Please poster, do not take this advice.
DeleteFan, you wan add salt to the injury?
Chio @ fan. The way i dislike problem and love my peace of mind. I won't even try this. What if I'm beaten blue black nko. Honestly, i don't know how i will react with my husband in situation like this. Maybe talk and cry till I'm okay and ignore him completely. Honestly don't know
DeleteSmh.
DeleteThis right there is exactly what I wrote, you have to go to her office and embarrass the life out of her for the nerve she has to tell you to go and sort it out with your husband. Go and meet her boss, shout at the office, call her names like husband snatcher, betrayal. Infact she is a witch. Rubbish
DeleteAh! Maybe she should go with a stinking sit water and throw it on her face and clothes while shouting at her, bah? Or palm oil to detail her clothes. It will serve them right if they both loose their jobs.
DeleteChai God abeg!
@Fan cheating is very painful but poster please don't do this. Remember your hubby is working in the same company too though in another branch. Some men cannot take this and it might lead to something serious at home. Moreso when you embarrass a lady going out with your hubby publicly, you are indirectly solidifying her relationship with your hubby. Most men go begging the lady with your hard earned money. She accepts and they continue from where they stopped just to spit you. It's difficult to stop a cheating man especially when TTC.
DeleteYou said your being TTC is not your fault but his, why not start from there?. Threaten him to go public on his fertility status if he refuse to stop cheating. Say it like you mean it. Most men don't want another person to know they are they reason for TTC. Get his fertility records handy and vow to show it to whoever wants to see if. You cannot be covering him while he is busy disrespecting his marital vow.
What if the side hen beats and blinds her eye?how many offices will she have to fight at before he takes his wandering rod?
DeleteWhat if the side hen beats and blinds her eye?how many offices will she have to fight at before he tames his wandering rod?
DeleteI actually support this, go and meet the overall boss and report her showing them the chats, he will be begging you to keep quiet, start shouting and causing a scene, the boss will have to take action against her to causing a disruption in the office and she will be embarassed.
DeletePlease call the woman and warn her well well. That’s how my husband was sleeping with a colleague and everyone said face ur husband. I kept facing only him and they eventually had a child which has wrecked my marriage. Maybe if I had faced the woman as well it would not have happened. She would have borrowed herself sense and moved on. Now she is fighting him for child maintenance. She now says if only she had known it was all mouth she wouldn’t have had a child for him. But it’s already affected everything. I beg fight them both.
DeleteDon't go to any office and embarrass yourself or anyone else for that matter. Deal with man, siphon money from una joint accounts. Do anyhow to him he will take it by force. Don't cut his amu or kill him oo.
DeleteJust go and report to the management make them show that mum girl the exit.
Share receipts with them make shame dey catch that wicked man and girl if they remain in that office.
You self on top all this cheating e never reach make you go find real man marry and born the children you want.
Chopping bullet for a dead dog.
20:09 and you are still married to him??? Na wa. If it was you was impregnated6by your colleague, your eye for still see the marriage.
DeleteMadam this is serious o.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what we say, you will still stay with him.
You are always tolerating his shit. Stay strong madam.
Greetings colleague of life.....
Exactly. Once you tolerate shit, you teach them that shit is ok. And that emboldens them more. Look at the bullsh*t he fed you poster to justify his stupidity. He will just beg you small, you go gree and he may look for higher levels of concealing his nefarious activities or not as he chooses, because he knows you will always cope.
DeleteOh dear just take it easy on your self, have talk with your husband and if you can stop snopping for now for your sanity
ReplyDeletePoster as Stella said go take a break for now somewhere. You need to cool down so that you can think of what next you want to do. As you are now, very hurt the devil can cause you do what you no fit do b4. No go come commit murder. One clear thing is that you are married to a serial cheat.
DeleteHmmm what a sad story...take heart poster. I dont know what advice to give here.it is not easy at all. I think you need to protect yourself from stds at least. Have you gone for investigations into fertility?
DeleteSorry i just saw that the infertility is due to him. Tuen i think you should leave this horseband. What is the point of this marriage. You cannot be impotent and cheating again!
DeleteI don't know what to say to you.
DeleteTalk with him and give him final warning. Tell him not to associate with the lady again.
She can't use your car.
Give him condition and watch his reaction.
From the moment he doesn't show remorse, plan your exit.
Meanwhile, make yourself happy. Don't let their nonsense drive you crazy.
Okay and what else? Divorce him or be ready to deal with more of this kind of ish
ReplyDeleteWho told you? That's why you lot stay bound in your smelling marriages suffering like prisoners? So you don't know that there are still goo men out there.
DeleteWell when you are used to feeding on crumbs,you wont even know what to do with a loaf.
Why do women give men so much attention they don’t deserve?
ReplyDeleteThey don't have kids yet stella
ReplyDeleteSometimes I ask myself what do men really want? You see everything you have doing/going well and you want to use your hand and pour sand sand. Poster for your sanity sake take a break.replan.pray and get busy so this doesn't weigh you down. It hurts but you be fine. Wishing you the Best. Stella she said they don't have kids yet maybe they're ttcing. Pray God blesses you and all those seeking for their miracle babies Amen 🙏.e hugs poster
ReplyDeleteMen just like variety.
DeleteSo do everyone. No one likes to stick to same routine, same place, same food, that's rare.
DeleteImagine the reverse
DeleteA woman with fertility issues openly cheating on her husband, ha. The village elders would have been chasing her away.
You people should stop giving men all the power.
Femi you think women don't like variety?
DeleteYou think women want the sane old penis same style forever. Same boring random foreplay? You know nothing about a woman. Nothing.
It is not variety they love
DeleteThey are covetous
It's well o and i just see your husband as someone that's serial enjoying his life while you suffer.
ReplyDeleteReevaluate.
Madam I hope you see this, what men hate most is when you share your attention, stop giving him attention, if possible get a person that can disguise like a male friend, chat, talk and laugh with the person right in his presence, make it obvious that you are talking with a man, when he tells you oya at night, tell him you lost interest that he irritates you, make him feel more than the heat you are feeling and watch how he will seat right. It worked so well for me, I tell my husband if you street i street pass you. Thank God I have a big ass again. Men are not worth dying for ooo abeg. So many women are in Yaba all because of man matter
DeleteMa'am its your marriage and only understands the mood inside better. This is not your fault, your husband is just being who he is. I think by now you have already made up your mind on what to do but only seeking for blog visitors backing. Its either you want to continue with the marriage or walk out of it and maybe depending on your husband's attitude towards this. If you have decided to stay, let your husband know what you found out, and also your limitations in the marriage. If he pleads and will to change for good, forgive him and give him a second chance. You can abstain from sex from him for maybe a month and tell him to pray, but if you already decided to live, no matter his reaction, I will advise you calm down and dont rush it. You can just take your purse and go somewhere to chill for like two weeks or more. This period will give you more time to reconsider your stance or move on. The issue of no children yet can also be the reason why he cheats, just saying. Good luck ma.
ReplyDeleteMore like take 2 weeks or more to fuck another man, maybe belle sef fit enter, then you go home.
Delete@olomo olomo, I don't agree with this your last line. The issue of no children should be the reason he keeps his pee pee in his pant, since it's him causing the delay, the little seed that germinates he goes and shares it outsiders and keeps the empty sack for the wife. Poster if I were you I will leave him. Let him continue his philandering.
DeleteThe issue of no child should make him focus on his marriage and be a present husband! God I pray a supportive spouse for everyone getting married cos father lord!
DeleteGuys someone on twitter today just had her second child. After many years of TTC and several surgeries. What struck me was her husband and the things he was saying and did. An irresponsible man is an irresponsible man. May God help us all
Hmmmmmm!! Umu nwoke will always disgrace person. Nne just take out all I can say is that it will never stop. I pray you get the right advice here.
ReplyDeleteImpotent man and a cheat on top of that. Look for someone else, single man o. start dating by the side. Get pregnant for him and dump your husband. You better wise up before you enter menopause.
ReplyDeleteThis is the only part I see, madam don't waste your fruitful time o
DeleteMakes me so upset! Imagine trying for a child and the bozo is out there sleeping with whatever.
DeleteStella she is Ttcing .
ReplyDeleteDear BV , my Candid advice is Just LOOK the other way !
keep being the good wife . It is well
Look the other way until she catches an incurable disease. Y'all just like being disrespected. Drop him like it's hot.
DeleteAnd that's why they continue cheating. Nigerian women have been looking the other way since time immemorial
DeleteWho knows whether he also put something to make her unable to conceive like that posters husband yesterday. These men are just cold and selfish!
DeleteYou say?
DeletePoster no one can tell you what to do. The choice is yours. But I will use this medium to tell women this: STOP CUTTING PEOPLE OFF! If someone has never offended you, don't cut them off because you got married OR BECAUSE OF YOUR INSECURITIES (such as this poster). That you are waiting on God does not mean that others are waiting to laugh at you. Peopl who are TTC, I take God beg you; stop letting your insecurities & emotions drive you into creating enemies for yourself. Think properly & logically before concluding that others are mocking or insulting you.
ReplyDeletePoster, u drove people away for fear of mockery? Now is the time you need support & friendship but u are alone. Shebi u see am? And to think the problem is coming from the same cheat of a husband. Kai! See how women constantly punish themselves for no reason and see what u get in return. MEN DO NOT DO THIS, EVER!!
Nothing anyone says here can reverse the pain you feel. I hope u get wise, not bitter. Look for your people because u need emotional support now! Give yourself space and time to decide what to do that will give u peace. Fighting side chics
will sha not help you in any way. I hope others learn. It will be well
thank you about that cutting off part. The kind of support you should be getting now is zero because there's no one. That man knew what he was doing. He probably wants to be your all in all. Poster make new relationships. Explore friendships and new ties.
DeleteUntil you wear the shoes before you can understand what it means to ttc, and then you'll understand why some women will cut off, because best believe a lot of people will mock you! I TTC'ed for about 4 years, I remember a close friend calling me to inform me about our mutual friend who delivered a baby and went on to say; but you got married before her, why haven't you gotten pregnant? I cried out my eyes out that day and decided to cut off from friends and I was more at peace with myself, I stopped feeling anxious because I was no longer expecting the odd are you pregnant question. Now I've got 2 wonderful, wonderful children and I'm still in my own world and loving it!
Delete21:06 maybe you should generally upgrade your circle of friends to people with higher IQ and emotional intelligence.
DeleteThen again, like attracts like.
Hi
DeleteStella she have the full right to call the idiot but for dignity sake, she shouldn't have called her.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is for u to calm down think this matter wella, check ur advantages and vice versa before u make ur decision. And don't forget to pray about it, asking God for direction. Dnt ever ask God to change who doesn't want to be changed.
She made a mistake calling the shameless woman, she does not deserve that attention. The man will still chat another girl. Focus on getting pregnant so that you dont lose both ways.
DeleteYou have no business calling the sidechick. How many you wan call? That's why so many of toy are looking stressed, tired and haggard, looking like your horsebands aunties.
DeleteYou will carry job stress, house stress, children's wahala, extended family responsibilities, then your horsebands wandering pricks. How many you wan call? How many you wan warn? Abeg dont stress yourself into the grave.
Stella she has every right to call the lady because she knows her well. Why are some men so irresponsible. I'm very sure they are already having steady sex... Disgusting much.. May the side chic meet her Waterloo soon. I can never imagine myself having a romantic relationship with a married man, infact if I hold you in high regards as a married man and you mistakenly ask me out,I will feel disgusted immediately.
ReplyDeleteMay the man meet his Waterloo. You focused on the side piece only & ignored the serial community prick who keeps breaking his vows & hurting his wife despite being impotent. They are both disgusting but he is far more guilty and disgusting. Very wicked man. He is the root cause of all these. When u attack the side pieces, u are only cutting off leaves rather than attacking the roots. When the roots are intact, it will grow in time. This is 2022. We should know better
DeleteBoth are guilty, but in most cases these girls are more guilty ooo, they get close to the man seducing him and most men are very weak with their third leg. Women has stronger ability to stop sex. So side chics should know better
DeleteMay both of them get their water loo.
DeleteThey are both trash!
DeleteThis weak excuse of only men being weak and females being stronger when it comes to sex is hogwash. It is mostly social conditioning. He should control himself and the colleague should control herself. They both lack self control and morals and frankly they don't care. They both cannot be absolved.
DeleteMen are weak men are weak, then why are they always screeching for head of house? Who makes a weak person with zero self control his or her 'head'?
DeleteIs the person not a fool?
To me, she has right to call her, they know each other and the lady knows she is the wife, the colleague is just shameless, and I will advise her to ignore her, then give her hubby strict instructions, if she decides to leave her hubby ,she should first of all thrash the colleague in the bin where she belongs. Make sure she cuts off every interaction between the lady and her hubby, the lady is taken advantage of her calmness and her hubby being a half man to do nonsense. She should make the lady feel like a used ,soiled, and dump thrash first
ReplyDeleteSome people are wicked sha
DeleteHow can you know someone and still be sleeping with her husband. Zero conciense
And how can her husband know her inside out, live with her, laugh with her, cuddle and sleep with her and yet have the mind to do this kind of thing to her? How? I feel so sad for the poster.
DeleteSame old story.
ReplyDeleteYou know what to do, but is obvious you won't do it because of the title "Mrs"
So do the "ignorance is bliss" style by not snooping again.
Abi e get wetin again you wan hear?
Oya pray for him and fight for your marriage, inugo?
Biko if you are a lady in relationship/marriage and you are planning to snoop without plan, biko ayom GI, leave his phone alone.
The more you find shit on his phone and do nothing the more you give him power to cheat more because you can't do shit.
Your last line is so apt!
DeleteAnd I was planning to snoop tonight o.
DeleteLemme wait till after my birthday. I don't want anything to spoil my mood
"....The more you find shit on his phone and do nothing the more you give him power to cheat more because you can't do shit...", these ones are the worst cos the day they will react, the reaction will be a complete 360 and will shock everybody. I feel really sad for but only her knows what she will do and can decide to do it. All the best Poster.
DeleteChike, don’t say that, some complain, forgive and give you chance to change just for the conscience. If you continue to hurt them, they wreck havoc on you, for taking their mercy for a fool. Don’t underestimate what a woman can do.
DeleteFirst I will advise you as someone who has gone through infertility before..
ReplyDeleteSince kids are not involved yet, stop giving ur all in the marriage,I mean financially, stop using he's name to aquire things that is urs..
Stop trying to make him change,if he can't sit down and think about how to take care of himself so u guys can start making babies,then u are married to yourself..
Just make yourself happy,stop thinking about him too much or what he's doing..
Start going out too, making friends not everybody is mocking u, it will just sound like that because u don't have kids yet but don't cut off friends since your husband is not there for u,who do u turn to?
And start having your plan B before u waste all ur life with an unserious husband
Exactly, people who have conscience wont mock you, it is not your fault that you married a he goat. Get your own things incase push enter fight.
DeleteHow men cheat & expect women to understand is something I don't seem to understand.
ReplyDeleteMadam ur hubby is a serial cheat.
You either ignore him or leave.
He now has few changes & with to play big man at your detriment
Stella, she should leave which kids?
ReplyDeleteRead again. There are no kids yet! Marriage institution these days is no more sacred.
Poster, i know how you are feeling, suffering with a spouse and denying yourself certain privileges only for that spouse to be gallivanting around with home breakers.
Please have a serious talk with him even though you have done that before. This is another year. If he does not change. Take some time out of home Or talk to whoever he respects.
I can't stand a cheating partner especially when i am the one footing most of the bills. Which girl dey follow man wey no fit buy lunch or recharge card for am these days? So that colleague is seeing something.
In all start saving. A word is enough for the wise. May God see you through.
Am so sorry for what you are going through, nothing breaks the heart more than this and I support the fact that you called the lady because you know her personally, if it was someone you didn't know, then I would have said don't call. It's good you called her. If you can, go to her work place and report her to her boss, show her boss their chart infact, create a scene and embarrass her before her colleagues because she is shameless. If your husband wants to leave you because of that then he dosent deserve you and make sure you don't beg him one bit no matter how pushed you are to beg him, even if you have forgiven him, pretend to still be mad at him but make sure you don't insult him you hear. Trust me, he will come begging you.
ReplyDeleteYes, she better make it open now, so her disgrace will be epic na this type go kill the wife and hubby fit no know self, rub her something when they are sitting in the car or drop something for her in the car for next morning. When it becomes open, she will try another man
DeleteAnother cheating story
ReplyDeleteSigh!!
Hmmm... this story get as e bi. Anyway... from your writeup, you want to stay. Just know the man wont stop till he jams a real circumstance that would make him stop. Are you ready to wait? This is obviously see finish and you didnt handle his previous cheating well hence he grew more daring, doing it in the open cos he know you would do nothing.
ReplyDeleteIf you still want to stay, dont cover him. Expose him to his parents and /or his spiritual head. Let him explain and let others talk to him. Meanwhile, you need to pray seriously for him and forgive him from your heart. Thats if you want to stay oh!
You have done nothing wrong in checking his phone. As for ttc, its only God that gives children, ask God. Reduce your stress and save up much more than you're doing. Your baby is on the way.
What's all this pray for him? And which one is it's only God that gives children? Are you trying to excuse her husband instead of him seeking help.
DeletePray for a wandering penis?? Who did this to african women?
Delete@giftmoesha, does humans give children? Havent you seen scenarios where theres nothing wrong with a couple yet no children? If you dont pray for your husband, who will? Please dont underestimate the power of God.
Delete@fetosbabe, yes i said it, let her pray for her husband so long she still needs the marriage and want to stay. Please read my comment carefully.
Prayer warrior🚶🚶🚶🚶
DeletePray say make the lifeless stick give outsider belle?
DeleteThe person who's meant to be subjected to prayers is the philandering horseband.
True talk can't the husband pray for himself? What is his mouth for? Is it just to suck ponyor?
DeleteBefore he married, was he not praying? In all this worthless gibberish you wrote, I don't see where you adviced the man on how to restore his home. Instead, like people of your type, just ranting on and on about what the woman should and should not do. Mindless drivel.
How do some women think? You boldly compliment a man's wife then go behind her and agree to date her husband, no conscience, smh...
ReplyDeleteSnakes live among us, they will surely meet their waterloo.
DeleteThe man is looking for who can take in to him.
DeletePlan your exit well since the fault is from him if he doesn't change.
You know the answer.
This has happened to me, when I called her, I recorded the call so when she tried to talk to hubby and act so nice that I am seen as nagging wife that she was responsible and calmed. I reminded hubby of how the said lady will chat him on how her boyfriend hurt her feelings by cheating on her and she will call the girls to warn them off , yet the boyfriend will still be visiting the said girls. I asked him how he feels comfortable sleeping with a lady that he knows that sleeps with other men. I now forwarded the recorded call of how she insulted me,that reset his head that she can't take what she dish and always acting respectful and humble when she is with him. Am I happy, No. The insult, disgrace and disrespect is much. I feel bad each time I come across cheating stories, cheats don't know the pain they inflict on their partners, mine went for tests ,family members were involved, he promised not to try such again. Can I ever trust him again,No. If we are in a sane climate, I will definitely wants to be alone with the children. He is very careful with me now cos he knew the hurt is much for me
ReplyDeleteLolll. Ma'am. Better gird your heart. Buy aboniki and scarf. Because he MUST definitely cheat again.
DeleteOnce they taste the first one, they must continue,they can never stop, until like someone said up there something life changing happens.
They just get better at hiding it.
Poster,u know in your heart wat u want to do.but pls make friends,go out,hang out,dress up,look beautiful for yourself,have fun and live life weather it's with him or not.also stop making him feel ur useless without him.or u don't have a life without him cos u do.
ReplyDeleteHonestly that chat up there is heart breaking. My heart would have been broken if it happened to me.
ReplyDeleteThat your husband is heartless! That chat up there is very annoying.
U must b going thru a lot , if u think of leaving ur home , u may b giving room for d Jezebel to penetrate bcos dt may b d opportunity she s looking for , so u don't need to gv her dt chance.....keep talking wt ur husband and as u do dt , please , go to God in prayer...He listens to d voice of a sincere and broken heart ...He will fight for you...Dere are over one million Jezebel out dere , so u can't keep leaving ur house anytime u face temptation...Its only a matter of time , he will come back to his senses..b prayerful , for the days are evil...God will see u thru.
ReplyDeleteMake Jezebel penetrate na. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 untop 7up penis. Make e kuku dash the sidechick sef. A man without a functional penis is worthless na, what other value can he bring to the table? At least with women ,they can perform so many other roles.
DeleteU must b going thru a lot , if u think of leaving ur home , u may b giving room for d Jezebel to penetrate bcos dt may b d opportunity she s looking for , so u don't need to gv her dt chance.....keep talking wt ur husband and as u do dt , please , go to God in prayer...He listens to d voice of a sincere and broken heart ...He will fight for you...Dere are over one million Jezebel out dere , so u can't keep leaving ur house anytime u face temptation...Its only a matter of time , he will come back to his senses..b prayerful , for the days are evil...God will see u thru.
ReplyDeleteMadam please pray very well about peace of mind and about your next step.
ReplyDeletewatch war room
May God guide your next step
Usually I don't subscribe to violence but you see this matter?
ReplyDeleteRound some friends up and give her a beating she'll never forget
OR
Be a sly fox and write to HR reporting the affair. You can do this anonymously, like an insider sef. Most companies do not allow their staff dating. Your husband and his side chick will be heavily queried or sacked. 😬😁
Dear Poster, sorry about the way you feel.
ReplyDeleteYou husband is a serial cheat and as difficult as it is to take in, he will never change.... Not when he's still giving rubbish excuses for his crime. It's up to you to take a stance... Unfortunately, calling the other lady isn't one of your options, how many of them will you keep calling?
What do you do for a living? You didn't state that in your write up. You can concentrate on your business or career and develop yourself.
Pray for yourself like never before, I didn't say pray for your husband oh, focus on praying for yourself and yourself alone. Truth is it's only your money that's yours, people like your husband, the more spare money they get, the more affairs they keep! You need to make him know that he's useless to you except he puts himself to good use. He shouldn't provide anything for you, remove his very essence of being a man. That's one of the fastest way to make them have a rethink.... Assuming he's a reasonable person.
Pls reconnect with your friends! You need to hang out with them more often and be visibly seen to be having the best moments of your life...
Remove him from your mind, that way, even when he says "I love you", tell him "thank you". He should be the one asking for time for you guys to discuss. Make sure you tell him that you are committed to the relationship because you have already taken the vows, but unfortunately his actions made your heart to leave the relationship! He should be winning your love again.
All the best....
Poster please take this advice from anon 17:04. I snooped and recently found out that my husband of just 1year has been constantly chatting with not just his ex girlfriend but almost all the pornstars you can find on Snapchat and IG and he set his Snapchat to delete the chat immediately after reading. To say I was devastated and being heavily pregnant was an understatement. He apologised and deleted the apps in my presence only for me to find out He downloaded them again and started again. I confronted him and this man changed his phone's password, I just said ok.
DeleteTill today,I didn't say anything but I have started keeping secrets from him like money I'm making and trying to make myself happy. He sees how unbothered I act (eventhough it still hurts me, i have refused to let him know I'm hurt) and I know it's making him uncomfortable. Anywday he says he'd stay out late, I just tell him ok be safe. No longer, what time will you be back or who and who are you hanging out with, like we usually do to each other? I just say ok bye bye.🤣 Na him dey carry his own 2 legs come back home immediately after he closes from work and be acting like he is very sick inorder to get some attention from me.
It isn't easy, it will hurt, it still does but please channel your attention to yourself and do what absolutely makes you happy even if getting pregnant by the side will bring you that happiness o. It's time to be selfish too like them. Me I have started being selfish too though I will never cheat back until I'm ready to leave the marriage. For now, let me be making my plans
No matter what you decide to do,don't go to his office to fight that lady,she is not the cool type from her response.Have a talk with your husband who promised you Fidelity
ReplyDeleteExactly! She is definitely troublesome. Before you will end up on instablog. You are not overreacting! Is there a person he deeply respects you can talk to? He/she might help you talk some sense into him.
DeleteAs hurt as you feel now, going to the lady's office should not cross your mind you won't be shaming her only but also your husband cos he works there too the shame will forever be there for your husband especially for him that never received love while growing he might process it differently be careful of the advice you take be very careful.
ReplyDeleteA bad person looks for any excuse to be bad
DeleteHe is a selfish person not to work on himself and using that excuse to fool around
She knew you and did not respect you. Go with some body guards and disgrace her in her office. She deserves whatever you dish to her.
ReplyDeleteStop contributing financially to the home.
ReplyDeleteSave your money
Leave him soon before he infects you with diseases.
He's not cashing you out, which is why you have the nerve to enter his phone.
He's not impregnating you and he's stressing you on top?
My dear sister, putting up with cheating and emotional abuse (all his useless explanation counts as manipulation a common form of emotional abuse) for a husband who isn't doing his best by you, makes no sense
Please take some days off,probably weekend to relax, pray and decide your next step of action.
ReplyDeleteMental breakdown is real and should anything happen to you, life goes on.
Your priority now is to remove your self from a stressful environment. Your husband is not going to change because of you. He is presently having his cake and eating it. If you end up having an incurable std how will you have children? Start taking deliberate steps to make yourself priority and reduce emotional attachment to your husband. Please take some days off to think and pray things through, don't make yourself a doormat for someone that will be okay with or without you
Mrs Sharon & some others gave you good advice.
ReplyDeleteFrom experience of a friend TTCing which the husband has zero sperm count yet he was cheating & the family were aware & covering it up for him until the wife later knew about it after many years. Note the wife has been seeing some evidences about them but the husband was denying it & the side chick was his Secretary in their office. The plan of the husband was to get the side chick pregnant.
So this Poster start planning for yourself because once the side chicks gets pregnant for him you will be thrown away. Start keeping your money to yourself & stop sacrificing yourself & resources for the marriage so that when his intentions happens you will not be a bitter & angry woman.
All I know is that he's trying his fertility on other women. So don't be surprised when a woman will carry belly from another man & hook it on him.
Don't say that you're not warned
Such a man deserves paternity fraud
DeleteMadam don’t mind those asking you to face your husband alone ooo at times were la fi n wo were meaning we use madness to cure madness I have to call a so call bestie who always complain about her husband to my hubby using that avenue to try and start nonsense and by always asking for money for her children welfare the day I saw their chat and this fool insulted me somebody that I didn’t know or never met before I call her straight I even insulted her mama join because the mother na my mother in love friend too they wan use that avenue start their stupid nonsense she was sending voice messages to my husband complaining he didn’t get her time she will call 12am nigeria time telling my husband her stupid husband is asleep that she misses my husband
ReplyDeleteCan you see what I saw you should snoop. Ladies can you hear me?
ReplyDeleteImagine the different disrases8this man would have been triumphantly dashing6this woman and she wouldn't knoe9, just sticking her head in sand forming great and decent wife.
You lot had better be on guard with this generation of your men.
Weight your options, try and get on a solid foundation. You made a BIG mistake calling the said woman, it shows that you are swerved by emotions. If you have any male confidant? He can also advise you better. It is either you save your marriage or you getting something tangible from it. Don't go searching for advise from women oh! I don't go to anybody's office oh! Those are just bad CV for you moving forward.
ReplyDeleteI wish people can be like me sha.i will find out the location u dey hang out...dress well..arramge with one motherfuvker wey get money pass u...infact na u go dey beg me...i Will make sure i do it to ur face..if u tell me u are going out..or u wont sleeping at home...i go tell u say i wont be sleeping at home either...i cant type abeg...if he think say him mad..me sef craze
ReplyDelete