Doctor Freaks Journal - The Non Existent Will...

A colleague approached me recently and sought to know how best a young lawyer could attract briefs, bearing in mind the fact that legal practitioners are not allowed to advertise or tout for briefs in Nigeria. 

If you ask me I would say the most potent way of attracting briefs is through referrals. I really don't appreciate "walk-in" clients. The last one who visited my office wanted me to write a letter for her and she was not willing to pay more than a certain amount of money which I found/find so demeaning. I quietly showed her the way out, no hard feelings though.

Some years ago, a client/friend came into my office with a friend of his and he introduced us. His friend was an engineer (doubtful though) and he needed a "sound lawyer" (is that not what they always say until you forward your fee notes to them?) and he has found me so worthy, hence the meeting. 

The introduction was captivating. He is an engineer of repute, a newly installed Oba in Yorubaland was his "younger brother" and he had taken my client/friend to him and some other notable personalities in the society, so he actually came in highly recommended. He made promises! Promised to introduce me to that particular traditional ruler and some other highly placed Nigerians. Was I keen? Not really, but who knows? I entertained them and we exchanged mobile telephone nos.


Months rolled by and I didn't hear from Engineer until one quiet afternoon when my mobile phone rang, lo and behold, it was Engineer on the other end of the line. He sounded terrified and he wasted no time, he went straight to the point. The police had invited his wife and he wanted me to advise him and if possible accompany him to the state command. We agreed to meet and discuss the facts of the matter. I advised him, pro bono (free of charge) and told him I would not be able to accompany him to the state command for some reasons.


Few months after, Engineer called again, another issue, I needed to write letters and I acceded to his request. This time around again, it was pro bono (free of charge).


Engineer briefed me on few occasions thereafter and promised to credit my account after sending him my fee notes. On a very serious note now, all the funds he allegedly transferred to my account have refused to drop till date, but that is not the meat of this piece.


On this sunny afternoon, Engineer and one beautiful woman walked into my office unannounced. My initial reaction was how come you didn't call to announce that you will be coming with a potential client or a friend so that I would have the benefit of stocking my fridge et al. He was like don't bother this is "my wife". Wife ke? Wife sha? 

This is not the one I know now and you never told me you were married to two women, well I couldn't really be bothered, afterall he is an adult.


I ushered Engineer and "Mrs" into my tiny office and showed them to their seats. Engineer wasted no time. The introduction was short and the mission was straightforward. Mrs was his "new" wife and he wanted to introduce her to me and to instruct me to add a "Codicil" to "his Will" to protect the interests of this new wife of his. He instructed me right there in her presence to give her his four units of 4 bedroom flats located somewhere in Lagos. Meanwhile, Engineer was at the time living in a rented apartment somewhere in IKD.


Interestingly, Engineer had no prior discussion with me let alone anyone relating to any Will whatsoever. Let me shock you more, Engineer had never discussed any form of Will with me in his entire life!

 Needless to say that he had no such Will with my office. 

The only inference to be drawn from the drama was that Mrs was his "new catch". She sells lace in a popular market in "a place that is surrounded by water" in Lagos and she is well-to-do hence the deception. It was apparent that Engineer was out to scam Mrs but I was helpless. I didn't know her from Adam and there was even no way I could have helped her in the circumstance. She was in love after all.


All I did was to call Engineer some hours after to warn and instruct him never to repeat that in his entire life and if possible he should "avoid me oh". He gave me a long break until last year when he called out of the blue. 

Guess what, he was in trouble again. I quietly told him I was on my way out of Nigeria and that I would not be coming back anytime soon.

Its me

Kunle