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Sunday, February 20, 2022

Sunday In House Gists - Coping With A Cheating Spouse / Lover...

This should be an interesting topic...

Some of you are living with serial lovers/spouses and you are coping well......







How do you cope with living with a serial lover/ cheating spouse? Do you get infected with STDs all the time or you insist on protection?

If you want to advice someone who has found out their lover or spouse is cheating but they don't want to end the relationship, what would you advice them since you are still living with yours that cheated/is cheating?

Do you believe a relationship should end immediately because someone cheated or are you of the school of thought that giving a second chance is OK to work things out?

Or.............

Are you the serial cheater /lover? How do you do it? why do you do it?


Lets gist!

81 comments:

  1. 99.9% of women have been cheated on.
    If you cannot stomach it, leave.
    If you can, protect your birth canal.
    Wahala no dey finish.

    Same goes for men with coded or blatant waka waka wives n gfs.

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    Replies
    1. @Blakberry, well said.

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    2. How did you arrive at this your statistics?

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  2. Not easy because you will be living with the constant reminder that he can slip up any time. My husband is in this class,I have lost all form of trust in him.as every move he makes is suspicious and he is not helping matters as he is still being sneaky. According to some spiritual leaders,I have to overlook so that I don't get unnecessary high blood pressure even as I am preggy but I can't seem to forget even if I forgive. He is always quick to say I caused it but in my truest heart,I have been the best supportive partner. He is not even buoyant as we are still to find a decent accommodation, business is not booming as it should but here I am, managing with him and he still finds pleasure in chatting random girls and offering sex and massage. I just tire. Some of these girls I happen to know as those that patronise him.or family friends.

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    Replies
    1. He is a narcissistic fool,for him to blame you for his actions. sorry but that's the truth, since your spiritual leaders told you to stay on, stay on then, I guess if you have female children, they will expect same treatment from their future husbands as that is the 'norm'. SMH

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    2. Your husband is offering girls sex and massage for free or for a fee? Cos i don't understand what you mean by those that patronise him.
      Is he a man hoe? Or he is simply too good with his head/dick game????!..

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    3. What we don't understand unfaithfulness in marriages limit the man's finances except in ritual cases where the man use it to grow his wealth, that area the wife don't care.

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    4. Anon 15:43,he is a business man. So he starts his flirting and cheating with ladies who patronise his business.

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    5. @16:47, that is why he is not bouyant as said by you. A man who chase, flirt, and or sleep with his female customers hardly balance his books. There are both financial and spiritual aspects to this. S3x with some women close money doors. Meanwhile, the women or most of them collected money or free trade items before such s3x.

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    6. So 14:21, when last did you do HIV test? Have you done it on one of your antenatal visits? Pls go and do it if you have not. To save the life of your unborn child at least. Since you don't value your own.

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    7. Looks like he is a man ho.

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    8. He knows your 'mumu button' Why he keeps cheating and painting it on your face. Very irresponsible manner if I may say.

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  3. I believe anyone who cheats on their partners should be given a second chance depending on certain factors;
    Was he/she remorseful?
    Did she/he come clean or you stumbled on evidence 🧾?
    Is she/he a random stranger or someone you know?
    Was the cheating spontaneous or were plans strategically put in place and for how long before they finally executed the act?
    These are just few instances that will determine if someone like me will forgive and NEVER forget.
    However if the person seems unremorseful and not ready to change, every love I have for my partner will die and I may not leave immediately till plans are properly put in place for my exit, but in the
    mean time, we'll live as strangers. The tension, avoidance and DISLIKE will be palpable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO!!!
      No cheating partner is remorseful, they only apologise when caught.
      You either accept the person with his cheating ways or you walk out if the heat is too much for you.
      If you have a cheating partner, please always insist on protection.

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    2. Which protection?
      The women even get pregnant and have more babies whether baby will change him

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  4. I double dated during my last relationship which led to marriage.Only for me to get married and my husband went through my messages anc I had to confess to him.Now any issue we have at home he refers to it..kaii

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    Replies
    1. Anon 14:36, just look at God disgracing a CHEAT!!! πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ

      Delete
    2. Lol.
      It's unlike women to get caught so easily. Imagine not deleting messages 🀑

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    3. You sef! Why keep such messages?

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    4. Why did you not delete all the messages and start on a clean slate with your husband after marriage. I am tempted to think that the only reason you left the message with the other guy was because you had the intention to go hook-up with him at some point in the future. You obviously still had feelings for the other guy.

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    5. In life, When you cheat and apologise and seek forgiveness truly, but you keep getting reminded by your partner about it, He/She becomes the transgressor! In marriage, constantly reminding one about their misdemeanor which they have apologised for shows a lack of intelligence and it's a major character flaw. If you have genuinely stopped those ways,I wish you peace.

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    6. As a personal rule, I will never check my partner's phone. I refuse to be tempted to check. I want to still be happy and live long.

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    7. Just imagine!
      Of you were the one that caught him, will you keep reminding him?

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    8. That your marriage seems dead on arrival. I bet you are not enjoying it.
      Yeye man.
      He may even use that as an excuse to cheat on you in marriage and you won't be able to make pim! He will keep blackmailing you for the rest of your marital life. I doubt if I can live the rest of my life like that. I would have walked out since. God forbid!

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    9. You didn't play this right.

      No husband of mine can blackmail me with that I was double dating while SINGLE.

      The way I will put it to him, he will know I can't be bothered about such. My faithfulness is for my husband alone mbok.

      He takes it or leave it!


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    10. Didn't you catch him cheating too during your courtship so you can also use it against him when he talks about yours? If not, tell him you were not married to him yet, you did not commit adultery and you will no longer tolerate his bullying, let him walk if he can't stand you. Except you don't have a job or business of your own and you rely on him for everything. What rubbish!

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  5. Married to a cheating partner makes you a worrier. You won't get your mind off it when you remember STD and infection.

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  6. One thing I've noticed these days is, most married women are also cheating seriously. There's one lady that do host a program on facebook and if 10 women should call, 9 of them will attest to having extra martial affairs. It has never gotten this bad before. No respect for that institution again.

    Dealing with cheating partner can be emotionally draining, I doubt if I will be able to cope with a serial cheat




    *Larry was here*

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    Replies
    1. Seriously o, especially when they travel out for one course or official assignment, out of state parties, or even right under the nose of the unsuspecting philandering husband who is basking in oblivion.

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    2. @BB, that travel on official assignment or course is were they cheat with their co-worker, friend or ex-schoolmate in that city or country.

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    3. @BB you are right. On official out of station assignments at work, I see lots of my married colleagues in positions they should never be in with people who are not their spouse. When I ask them why, they tell me when you get married you will understand. And I'm wondering if philandering comes with being married. Even the women make passes at single guys. Mehn! This shit is crazy!

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    4. 16;27 the topic is about cheating partners , not the faithful ones. If you like, invest your emotions on a heartless cheating partner ok.

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  7. I only pity those who are still having kids. If you are done having kids, kill the love and emotions you have for him, focus on your kids, and do whatever makes you happy.

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    Replies
    1. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

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    2. So you are advising ladies to kill the love and affection they have for their husbands after having kids even if he isn't cheating. If you are married or when you get married you can apply this to your home. What you've said is what some married women do then the man begins to look outside.

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    3. 14:59. Best talk 🦜 on this topic. So many unsuspecting partners r sleeping with there better half living with HIV

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    4. 16:37, we are discussing cheating partners here pls and not faithful ones.
      Abeg shift to one side if don't understand the topic.

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  8. I’m all for second chances when ur spouse cheats but a chronic cheat, pack ur bag and go abeg.

    Lord please, I don’t ever want my husband to cheat on. I don’t ever want to lose the trust and respect I have for him

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  9. I was the cheating spouse, not intentionally. I didn’t even think I was capable of such until barely 2 years into my marriage, we had a breakdown in communication, lack of affection/attention - out of the blue my ex reached out and we reconnected. What started as a talk/chat over the phone (long distance) turned into a hot desire with me contemplating leaving my marriage and him leaving his then fiancΓ©. It became physical when he visited from the UK and just thereafter I called it quits after being convicted by God/my conscience.

    There were times I tried to tell hubby because I knew he loved me enough to forgive me but I didn’t want to break his heart. He finally discovered 5 years after when my ex’s now wife contacted him to complain because she was still bitter about her husband being hung up on me which was affecting their marriage. I thank God for the man I’m married to but this issue nearly broke our marriage but it certainly broke the trust he had for me which will take years before I can fully earn it back. This is just a summary, we are a work in progress…

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  10. LoL.... Just right in time
    Just found out my partner is cheating...
    I'm not happy about it, I'm just moody, will not even confront him. He has been asking why I'm looking moody. I'm sure he knows that I know because he has kept his phone out of reach. I'm just moody to let him know that I know about it but will never ask him questions.
    Make I dey take notes, when my book is full, I will walk out of the marriage.
    No more sex, no contributing to bills.
    Make him dey do everything.
    I'm not even surprised just disappointed that he has extra cash to waste when he knows we have lots of projects ahead of us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keep your vex money and project for your self and your children.

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    2. That no longer contributing to bills is very good...sometimes helping with bills gives them free money to mess up with...that was the condition I gave to mine when he cheated repeatedly...and to my shock he has been carrying the bills 100% effortlessly. Even this January he paid fees on the new year's day complete school fees of 4 kids.

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    3. All u stupid wives giving men money. TUFIAKWA🚢

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    4. I think you are wrong in this. Sometimes it's good to nip somethings in the bud. Unless you don't love him and are ready to walk away anytime soon, I will advice you let him know you are in the know. Secondly, why should it be you alone taking in the pains? This kine thing can give one heart attack o.

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    5. QS next time pray for understanding before reading... she contributes to the bills not handing over money to her husband even if she does he is her husband!!It doesn't make her stupid!

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  11. The way I see this faithfulness of a thing is that it's personal. As a single person if you have built the character of having random sex, it's likely you'll struggle in marriage to be faithful. Most men that cheat love their wives but the cheating is already a part of them.
    If your partner is cheating please protect yourself as best as you can. Sad truth is that most couples are living with HIV, That's why you'll see a woman ignoring all the philandering of her husband. She knows the ladies are getting what they want.

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    Replies
    1. You spoke the truth! Thumbs up.

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    2. I've said it before that a couple that engaged in premarital sex cannot expect that sexual discipline will suddenly develop after marriage.

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  12. Cheating has no gender... Married women have even upgraded.
    A married friend of mine has a sim she uses for her runs.
    Another one puts on nose mask and hijab, and sometimes face cap when meeting her countless men friends in different hotels. Even if her husband himself sees her in d hotel,he will never recognize her.

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  13. There's room for forgiveness,but the trust will no longer be there.

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  14. I will not go anonymous on this .if you like decode me, na you Sabi, use your findings to better your life oo.. hehehehe.
    First one was a mistake, d devil caused it,lol, I waited for some months, before I allowed any intimacy, I made sure all necessary test was done before I took in, as I want to have a baby, I love kids. Oga reported to family that I refused intimacy after reconciliation, I no send you oo, report me to God If you like. Then I demanded for all blood work at a good and trusted facility that o choose myself. Oga called family meeting for my head,I no attend. Finally he agreed to my demands, we both went together to the place, took our samples,. The result came out and they called us and handed it to us. I tore it and saw for myself,before I opened leg. He resented me for months, but you see, I love my clean blood and want my unborn babies to have clean blood,so I will not let any body with nonsense lifestyle, to jeopardise that for us. Then came the second ,third and fourth .. Hhmmmmmmmmm. U see cheating is a premeditated action, a lot of phases are involved, even before the actual sex , and it's a choice not a mistake. Now I'm in a better place, with my peace of mind, mental and general health intact.. that shit fucks your emotions and mental health up. You go through lots of phases of questions ,mind search, and self esteem issues. NO DONT do that to yourself. It's never about you the faithful spouse, it's about the partner who couldn't be disciplined enough to tame themswlves and EVOLVE....
    I you can cope, by almeans do, if you can't, walk, and be in good health for yourself and loved ones..
    Gwazikwa ndi yaadunu..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May God equip you with the much needed strength πŸ™

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    2. "U see cheating is a premeditated action, a lot of phases are involved, even before the actual sex , and it's a choice not a mistake."

      So very true!

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  15. Living with a cheating husband, tried to leave twice but he went on his knees begging and called our families to beg me. His mum went on her knees when she saw that I was adamant, that broke me, I stayed put...I stopped contributing to the bills in the house and he is providing in excess, drops money generously, fixes my car and changes car for me every 3 years. Honestly, but for adultery he would have been perfect, he is a sweet soul, a gentleman to the core, tall and very handsome. I have accepted my fate and been tolerating adultery for the past 11 yrs...not easy though, the perpetual late nights, sometimes he returns the next day meanwhile he is in town. My love for him is gone. Just there cos of the comfort and also for the stability of the kids. We've been married 14 yrs tho but cheating started about 3 years into the marriage when he had a new job with triple his previous income. You can never know the true colour of a man when he doesn't have enough ��, his true colour is seen when he has excess cash. I've never treated infection and his car is full of condoms. I pray he keeps using them outside.

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    Replies
    1. Some women know that their husbands are cheating but will rather die in the marriage than take a walk.one said she can never leave her marriage for a stranger,that her husband will always come back to her after satisfying himself so she isn’t bothered.So most times,most of these women know,but turn a blind eye as long as the husband is taking care of them financially.

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    2. See why one needs to marry spouse that fears God, not just a church goer

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    3. Vahleree, if the man is not beating them, they stay for the kids and leave the man at old age. You see the man living alone in the house while the wife is gallivanting from one child's house to the other. That is if the man lives to see old age, most of them die early due to their lifestyle. At 50-60yrs, terminal illness will set in.

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    4. @ Vahleree taking a walk to go and be side chic to another married man...that is what a lot of divorced ladies do, very few are fortunate to meet an unattached guy...besides it rains everywhere. Better to stay put with the devil you know than the angel u do not know.

      @ gallivanting from one child's house to the other in old age... very true.

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    5. 19:24, where should I send your gift?

      They end up as very lonely old men. The sidechicks will be no where to be found at that time, he will be at the mercy of a maid or kind neighbours. Wife would be enjoying her old age courtesy of the kids.

      Yes, those little children are seeing everything you are doing Mr Man. How you and your wife argue because of side chicks, how you beat their mum, how you stay out late or come home the next day or days later, how their mum cry everyday because of you, your kids are seeing everything and they will show you pepper in future.
      If you are very unfortunate and their mum end up dying before you, your own don finish, the resentment will not get comparison, they will say you killed their mum with the way you treated her. If you like send them abroad to study, they will show you pepper when the time for revenge comes. It is not too late to change your ways Mr Man.

      Write down this date.

      Delete
  16. A lady I know from afar is presently chilling at the Police station. WHY?

    Last weekend was supposed to be her introduction with her supposed fiance, she found out he was cheating on her with a lady she accords as her area aburo ( area younger sister). The guy apologized and called family members to plead on his behalf too.

    At night she visited the area aburo and masaccred her body with razor cuts. She has been arrested by the girl's family.

    P.S She is already pregnant for her wandering dick fiance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nawa.. I understand this kind of thing can be really painful but she should have left her for God to deal with on her behalf! Or just walk away with her Belle jeje from the relationship.

      Who is in prison now? Woh, may God help her o

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    2. Exactly. The fact that the man even cheated on her before marriage and the apologies doesn't guarantee that he won't cheat after marriage.

      It's left for her to decide to either go ahead with the wedding and future cheatings or walk away with her pregnancy, let him take responsibility of the child.

      But here she is with her fate. The man has even said he is no longer interested in the marriage but will take responsibility of his unborn child. Las Las na she loose, no man is worth all these headache.

      Delete
  17. 10% of married men use protection especially in Nigeria.They will tell u their *icks won't be erect with cd.So those who say na there dem die, my honest advice is to stick to HIV preventive drugs (PrEP) religiously.Don't dull yourself.
    You can also decide to stop sex or insist on using protection.
    Or back and go
    Lost both parents from aids
    Dad got it and infected mum and step mum and others concubine and lovers.
    Became orphaned 2004 and as a child I watched my mum go through hell. She died at home .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So painful for your mum to die. So he had two wives at home yet he slept around, see why it is very risky to remain with a cheating man. I can never tolerate a cheating man, never! I would rather be a single mum than be with a cheating man.
      For those of you who day it rains everywhere, I won't date or remarry, it is not by force to be with a man. I have a good job.
      So far, my husband has been behaving himself.

      Delete
  18. Igbekele eniyan asan ni. Those who place their trust in a man only have themselves to blame.

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  19. Atimes the man you plan to leave your husband for won't be better. Women should have something doing in case you're tired of the cheating.

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  20. Why did i not see any "Karma" comment here today? Our karma ambassadors are not online ni or they are tired of shouting karma! Karma!?

    I would have seen replies like "didn't you sleep with married man while single? That is why your husband cheats, karma!" 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

    When you ask them to explain why a virgin is married to a dog, they will start saying something else. Yeye people! πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, some could be, some could be otherwise, only God and the people concerned know.

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  21. Oh how I miss the days of King Solomon. I remember vividly because then how many do you want to fight with? When he will cheat on you with his 43rd wife in the morning, cheat on you with his 502nd concubine in the afternoon and cheat on you with a complete stranger in the night. Infact then, it wasn't called "cheating" o. It was just him "Being himself". Now, no man is allowed to be himself. It's now "cheating". I remember when I asked Sarah what Hagar was doing with Abraham in their matrimonial tent, she answered in a cavalier manner, "she is making me a child". As if, it is moin moin that one is cooking. Anyway, this is a serious matter as we no longer live in those times. I even remember in the 30's when men knew the difference between polygamy and promiscuity. The men of those times married their pregnant slay Queens and brought them home as second or third wives to meet the first wife as a sign of respect to both women. Now, it's hot water thing or 'I cheat back' things. My own is simple - I'll be back for my insults.

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  22. LoL@yeyeperson. It's quite simple really. You simply choose. African Culture is/was very practical. Polygamy was a very practical and mutually beneficial solution. The women rejected polygamy but still go through all the distress associated with 'cheating'. Pick your battles people. I don't support cheating and don't pray to be part of it, but still.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Polygamy does not stop cheating.

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