Stella Dimoko Doctor Freaks Journal - Polygamy: Perspective, Musings And Misconceptions


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Saturday, May 07, 2022

Doctor Freaks Journal - Polygamy: Perspective, Musings And Misconceptions

 Polygamy is the practice of marrying multiple spouses.

Perspective and Musings:

"News travels fast in places where nothing much ever happens" -Charles Bukowski. 

I do not need to bore you with details of Yul Edochie's past escapades and latest confession. The deed has been done. He has manned up and taken it. Shall we now proceed to some other fundamental issues?

Should I start this piece by demystifying some myths surrounding polygamy, before proceeding to other issues? 

I do not pretend to be an authority in any religion, however, to the best of my limited knowledge of three or so religions, I am aware that none of the dominant religions in my part of the globe actually proclaims that polygamy is a sin.

 Christianity only stipulates that before a man can occupy certain positions in the church, he must be a husband of one wife and I stand to be corrected that the Holy Bible did not pronounce that "thou shall not marry more than one wife," expressly. (Please note, this is neither an endorsement nor condemnation of polygamy from the writer.)

 I am not eminently qualified to speak for other religions. In fact, most of the men used mightily in the Old Testament practised polygamy, from Abraham to Israel to David to Solomon, etc. Further, the writer's grandparents were polygamists, whilst the father was a monogamist (the first in his generation.)

What then is the writer driving at? We are close now. Why polygamy? I have always asked myself this question and over the years I have attempted to hazard a guess which I intend to share with my readers anon.

What I have done is to undertake a case study by grouping men into very loose classes.

The first class is that category of men who purposed in their hearts to marry more than one wife either before they even got into the marital institution at all, or after. In recent times some have even taken the bold step of marrying two or more on the same day and at the same venue. Those are the real men.

The second category is that class of men who became too comfortable with their "side-chics" or "lover" to that extent where they saw nothing wrong in having more than one wife and they decided to take the bull by the horn by legalising the external affair.

The third category is the class of men who though not at home with "side-chics" or "lovers" but they were either "careless" or got set up by their smarter "side-chics" or "lovers" who decided to lock them with pregnancy and boom, the man is hooked, for life! This is one of the commonest in my generation. Initially the man will protest, but at the end "nko?" "He go collect."

The fourth is a group of men who though married (happily or unhappily) but have always felt a void or at some point started feeling there is a void in their lives which can only be filled by the presence of another woman in their lives. It may be for social or pecuniary reasons, but they just have to do it. This class "en," you can't stop them. Just wish them well as a woman and go and develop yourself. Bros must marry a "status-wife."

The fifth may sound funny, but it is not. Some men out there really do not believe in this institution called marriage. They are simply "spe#m donors" and they are forever willing and ready to donate wherever and whenever. Can you even regard these ones as polygamists?

The sixth is a peculiar one. They never set out to marry more than one but the vicissitudes of life has pushed them in and out of marriage more than once. They are what we call "a victim of circumstances."

The seventh ought to have been the first really. We have this category of men who actually have little or no say when it comes to marriage. The decision is for their family members to take either before, during or after their first marriage. If they like, let them go and marry Miss World, when their family members are ready, they will bring a bride that would be acceptable to them. This class "en," you need prayers.

The eighth one is the most controversial. Some women actually push their husbands to other women outside (and vice-versa.) I won't say much in this regard. The victims and actors know better. My one cent is that a woman should never make her husband more comfortable in the arms of another woman outside. My female readers may also say, "some men are d#gs" now. Yes, some are. May the good Lord deliver them.

The list is endless and you may actually add yours.

May I at this stage make it clear that the essence of this write-up is not to sit in the comfort of my dingy room and be passing a verdict on the practitioners of polygamy, no, far from it. My aim is to critically analyse why men go into this agelong practice which some "imported" religions and human experience have condemned over the years.


Please before you form any opinion in respect this issue of polygamy, dig critically with a view to finding out why a man made or would make that choice.

Is polygamy a sin? I haven't seen that in any holy book yet.
Is polygamy good or bad? Who am I to condemn your choice or that of anyone else?

Will I ever consider polygamy? Never. So help me God.


  1. He has done it again! What I like about this writer is his open-mindedness. Like I see it, it's imperative that we are boldly accountable for every one of our actions, choices and decisions. Just as we boldly as it was made.

  2. Have missed reading your write ups... dunno why I can't comment with my blogID, have tried its not accepting it...

  3. I wasn't disappointed. Kudos.

  4. If you were a good student of the Bible, you would know that even in cases where polygamy was allowed, there were still negative consequences to warn you off the practice. Let me talk about the faithful men commonly spoken of in the Bible as Polygamists by supporters of the practice.

    1. Abraham married one wife, Sarah. It was due to her impatience that she had not had a child at the time that she brought her own housemaid as wife to Abraham as was the custom back then. Take note: Sarah brought Hagar to Abraham, not Abraham going to impregnate house girl without her knowledge. Also remember that when Hagar started to disrespect Sarah because she discovered she was pregnant, Abraham did not side with the pregnant Hagar. He gave Sarah her respect as the wife and told her to do what she saw fit to Hagar before she dealt with Hagar and Hagar received sense after an angel advised her. Also recall that when Sarah asked that Hagar and her child be sent away when she noticed Ishmael poking fun at Isaac, even God agreed with Sarah. The next woman Abraham married was after Sarah's death. It's interesting that Isaac did not marry another wife even when his wife Rebecca was barren for 20 years before she had Esau and Jacob. Goes to show that Polygamy las las was not seen as good in their eyes.

    2. Jacob was also a polygamist but by trickery. He wanted to marry Rachel but was tricked into marrying Leah. That was how Jacob married two wives as he had worked for Rachel and was in love with her. When Rachel saw that she couldn't bear children like her sister, she gave her housemaid to Jacob as the custom was that the children of her housemaid would be seen as her children. Not to be outdone, Leah did the same thing by giving her housemaid to Jacob. And that was how Jacob had 12 sons through 4 women. Although the 12 sons made up the 12 tribes of Israel and the practice enabled the Israelites to increase at a much faster rate, however see what polygamy did to Jacob's household. Two sisters who grew up loving each other became rivals, hating each other. It even extended to the children as the older brothers sold their own brother Joseph out of jealousy.

    3. David did marry multiple women. But even he should serve as a warning to those who claim polygamy stops cheating. Look at what happened as a result of his lust for the married Bathsheba despite he already having multiple wives. Not only did he sleep with the wife of a loyal soldier, he maneuvered matters so that the soldier would be killed and he could marry the wife to cover the fact that the woman was pregnant for him. Supporters of polygamy forget the repercussions. His first son Amnon raped his half sister Tamar. Her brother, Absalom killed Amnon and even took the throne from David making David run for his life, then his other son Adonijah tried to take over the throne before David pronounced Solomon as his heir. Solomon had to kill Adonijah later on. What a sad consequences all because David failed to exercise self control.

    1. Dr Freak is basically trying to say there's no place in the scripture where Jesus or any of the apostles said marrying a second wife is a sin like thou shall not kill and co. But then as you also highlighted for every decision we make there's a consequences, if you marry second wife there'll surely be consequences for such actions which might include no peace at home...

    2. Iol see as you narrated everything as if you were there when it happened, we are just waiting for America to legalise polygamy and everybody will fall in line

  5. Continuation....

    4. Solomon married 300 wives and 700 concubines. Yet what was his end? His wives turned him away from the true God and he died faithless to the One who gave him his famous wisdom in the first place. How sad. If only he had heeded the warning for Kings in Deuteronomy 17:17a, "Neither should he take many wives for himself, so that his heart may not go astray"

    So while the Bible mentions that these men above married multiple wives, It also shows the grim reality of that arrangement. Also, keep in mind that God did not originate this practice. The first polygamist was Lamech, a man who didn't worship God. Even the angels who left their place in heaven before the flood (who we now call the demons) practiced polygamy as Genesis 6: 2 says "the sons of the true God began to notice that the daughters of men were beautiful. So they began taking as wives all whom they chose."

    God only tolerated it for a limited time, while strictly regulating it to prevent abuses as seen in the law of Moses. However, it should be noted that for people who say they are followers of Christ, a.k.a. Christians, polygamy is NOT permissible.

    Jesus confirmed this when he reminded his listeners of what God instituted in the Garden of Eden in Matthew 19:4-6: "In reply he said: “Have you not read that the one who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said: ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh’? So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”.

    Some people claim that monogamy is for only Christian men with positions but remember that those men are to be examples to others, showing that even Christian men who didn't have such positions are expected to be husbands to only one wife.

    If you're a Christian, stop trying to justify polygamy.

    1. 10billion likes 👍 for this your comment... what this writer painted is a clear case of even the elect would be lost in the last days. It’s sad to see Christians trying so hard to justify their lack of self control and perversion with Bible stories.

    2. Your comment is it! I

    3. Thank you dear anon. You nailed it! If you read the book of proverbs 5, 6 and 9, you will see David admonishing his son solomon to rejoice with the wife of his youth and flee from adultery/strange women. He obviously learnt the hardway that there was no merit in having multiple women...but solomon didnt heed his fathers advice. The fact that the men of old did these things did not mean that God accepted it. He just didnt kill them outrightly just like how he doesnt punish us when we err, instead he gives us a long rope for repentance

    4. Thank you dear anon. You nailed it! If you read the book of proverbs 5, 6 and 9, you will see David admonishing his son solomon to rejoice with the wife of his youth and flee from adultery/strange women. He obviously learnt the hardway that there was no merit in having multiple women...but solomon didnt heed his fathers advice. The fact that the men of old did these things did not mean that God accepted it. He just didnt kill them outrightly just like how he doesnt punish us when we err, instead he gives us a long rope for repentance

    5. Fantastic comment. However, Abraham went with Keturah while Sarah was still alive which is why the bible records him coming to mourn Sarah after she passed. This example is a perfect one on why it is dangerous to break the bond of marriage under any pretext of polygamy, cheating, child hunting etc: a man who stayed faithful for decades even when childless in a patriarchal society suddenly went away and birthed many children with a concubine because he had tasted the forbidden fruit in Hagar.

      Stepping out in marriage is dangerous no matter the nickname you choose to give it.

      It is better to not make a (marriage) vow to God than to make it and then renege. Maybe the ritual of weddings mattress the couple further that they are actually swearing before God.

      The wife who thought she was helping God with her giving her husband her maid was the one who died alone and abandoned by her husband who had now learned how to run off with another woman. If Abraham was the one who hatched the plan from the onset, I believe God would have settled his daughter than for her to remain in a terrible situation with a greedy man.

      It is also no coincidence that the first recorded polygamist in the bible killed his own brother out of jealousy. It takes a wicked and greedy person to sin against his wife and children this way. Perhaps because it is in the history of many of our families, we refuse to call polygamy what it really is.

      Bro. Kunle, put your money where your mouth is instead of egging on wickedness you have refused to expose yourself and family to.

    6. Please, read the Bible. Abraham DID NOT marry Keturah when Sarah was alive.

    7. Beautiful submission however, the sons of God as stated does not mean fallen angels now demons. Demons are spirits and cannot marry nor birth kids. The sons of God is referring to the sons (children) of Seth and the daughters of men refers to the daughters (children) of Cain. This is because after Cain killed Abel (the one from God) God consoled Eve by giving her Seth (another Son from God). Cain is of the devil (1 John 3:12). Therefore the sons of God are the descendants of Seth while the daughters of men are the descendants of Cain the evil child.

    8. Solomon was regarded as the wisest man in the Bible. He married lots of wives (many for political purposes) and the it is recorded that he had one of the most peaceful eras amongst the kings.
      David married for various reasons and was able to hold Israel together and there's only one record of a disgruntled wife else, his household was largely peaceful.
      Ahab had just one wife, Jezebel and see how he turned out
      Naboth had just one wife and she betrayed him
      Look at the case of Uriah, a man the Bible describes as upstanding. He was out at war, yet his wife was busy gallivanting with the king. He died, she became Queen.
      Don't forget, Paul also said that he will rather people didn't marry but for the sake of formication, if you can't hold yourself, marry. Does that mean men shouldn't marry?
      Bottom line, there are cultural polygamous practises which were in place to ensure a stable family unit. A lot of you talking have not even bothered to do your due research (religious or culturally).
      Is polygamy bad or is it good? The answer, like most things, lies in the motive and on what principles it was founded.
      The regions that practise polygamy how many times do we hear of marital/family issues from there, the way it abounds amongst the monogamaniacs?
      FYI, am in a good, stable monogamous marriage, is what I grew up in and it's what I know, however, condemnation just for the sake of it and without understanding or due to the band wagon effect is just stupid.

    9. Annon@15:19 May God continue to grant you wisdom on the word of God as He intended it to be and not as men of this present age would intend.
      Men of the Old Testament were supposed to be a lesson for us to learn from. To avoid their mistakes and follow their examples. What is the aim of marriage if it does not lead us to live a Godly life and end in heaven? Jesus clearly stated and only for those who understand, God did not sanction polygamy as it is not His original plan. None of the followers of Jesus in the New Testament was polygamous. Many remained unmarried for the sake of the Gospel.
      Jesus and the life of the early Christian is our standard not the imperfect era of the Old Testament. Even Judaism from which Christianity came out from did not sanction polygamy.
      Unfortunately, many so called Christians don't know the difference.

  6. But the same Bible made us understand in the book of Isaiah that in the last days 7 women shall Cleave to one man and say we will cloth ourselves and eat our bread only to be called by your name your name so that shame will depart from us. What Yul Edochie is a testimony that that particular biblical verse is about to be fulfilled. The Bible made us understand that heaven and Earth will pass away not an iota of my word will pass away. Some women are now wooing and proposing to men. Some ladies have intentionally become baby mama even without the man's financial support. Polygamy is not about men marrying multiple wives but it is about ensuring every woman has their own husband. How many Muslim ladies have u seen looking for husband? They are few bcus u can easily be a second wife. It is mostly Christian ladies that are in search of spouse. I am a Christian too.

    1. That doesnt mean polygamy is justified. It is part of the signs of the end times. This same bible said divorce is allowed on the basis of adultery and as long as your spouse is alive you cant remarry. So pls what are we talking about?

    2. The Bible says in the last days men will be lovers of themselves , lovers of money. Does that mean that Christians are to be like these men?

  7. Polygamy is a scourge. Take it or leave it. Even Uncle at the end talk sey him no go do am. Polygamy is an aberration and will remain so. It is for people who are greedy and people who lack self control, contentment and patience. This wrong foundation will only bring about polluted consequences. Take it or leave it.

  8. God created marriage in the beginning for a man and a woman.. Mathew 19:4-5, mark 10:8....the hardness of men's heart made them divorce according to Moses. every time in scripture you will see MAN and his WIFE ( gen 2:24, eph 5:31-33). scriptures is littered with pointers that marriage is for a man and a woman so o dont know what people mean that there is no where in the bible it says no polygamy. Anyone who marries 2 wives is not spirit filled period. men in the bible did it because their human minds wanted it not because it was Gods original plan. That same bible outlined all the consequences they had from polygamy. The Christian walk like all things with God is a choice and his spirit can only guide you not force you, however whichever divide you choose there are consequences.


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