Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DIRTY WOMAN
Good day Stella and bvs.
I need help.
How do you tell someone who is dirty , that she is dirty without hurting the person?. my brothers wife is dirty , they live in a a 2bed apartment. From the entrance of the house , you will just perceive a strong odour.
Her room , children's room is always packed with wet or dirty cloths. The kitchen is worse and each time I visit I can't eat because even the pots and plates are not washed properly. She's the I don't care kind of person .
The husband has complained and complained yet no changes. I noticed that whenever her siblings visit, its same thing, my kid sis complained because it was exhausting of how they constantly dirty the house now she's back to sch. The girl cleans everyday . My brothers wife is a traditional woman who doesn't want a help, she's stubborn and can read meaning to anything.
I can speak to her but the fear of her keeping me malice is there.... I am married also.
I don't want to have issues with her.
*How can someone be so dirty? Doesnt she visit your house to see things in order? Please sit her down and have a talk with her because with this kind of dirt, she will pass it on to her kids...
This is no easy way to do this, if you have your brother's approval to sit her down and have a talk with her, please do it.... I am just imagining how the toilet will be if the Kitchen is how you described it... Or even her personal hygiene.
Tomorrow when her husband gets fed up and bolts, female bvs will start insulting him.
ReplyDeleteYou won’t face the matter at hand. It is female bvs that is your problem. Tueh!
DeleteHygiene...I don't know if it can be learnt. Far from the malice, even if she agrees with you and really makes up her mind to be neat, it is almost impossible if she can sustain the habit beyond one month. You said her siblings are like that which means she grew up that way. Trust me, save your saliva and face front. Your talking to her will make no much difference. Even if this husband leaves her because of her poor hygiene, there are men who don't mind who were also raised in such households. Even if you get her a help, she will infect the help with her dirty lifestyle and use her for other chores that might even bring about more accumulation of dirt.
DeletePlease leave her alone.
Follow Stella's advice by talking to your brother first before making move and if he agrees to it then you can talk to her about it, she must realize how unhealthy they are living and the danger raising her children in same manner so to avert future marital problems.
DeleteMy dear there's no way to put mouth and say it. Tell her outright or the hubby employs someone that would come 3x a week to clean. How dose the hubby sleep with her def?
DeleteBack then, my senior cousin was the neatest man I know. He was my favourite. Then he got married. Soon as the lady came, house changed. When they had their first child, original dorty wahala. At a point we make excuses not to visit which upset him. Once my elder sister had to change the rug in their house. A few weeks later we were back to square one. Outrightly we stopped eating or drinking when we visit. He was a very generous person, so that upset him. After a while my cousin joined the wife in the dorty business. Everything both human and furniture stank to the high heaven. We had to resign and let them be. Only the wife's family were comfortable in the house and we learnt they were brought up that way.
DeletePoster, leave the woman alone let your brother handle it. Talk with your brother alone. If he is not OK with it, he will not be making children with her. Stay away in your house.
@15.02 The man will adjust if he has not already done so.
Delete@15:43 Some men actually run out of marriage because of this. Usually, they are the type of men who will not say in public why they ran because generally, peoply do not see it as reason enough for divorce or running from marriage. And then, as @15:02 said, if the woman sends a chronicle, female bvs would lambast all men.
Your brother's wife is dirty, "a traditional woman who does not want help", and reads meanings to anything. Yet you want to interfere in her dirtiness that is clearly a lifestyle learnt from one or both of her parents?
Simple Advice - Please face your front. Go mind your marriage. As women always want it, your brother has left his father, mother and has cleaved to his wife. Let them be. Again, go mind your marriage for your husband and children sake. Dont carry the challenge in your brother's home to your matrimonial home for your husband.
Domestic chores make wives age quicker. So your brother should clean and do the domestic chores if his wife cant and does not want paid house keeping help. He should not allow to you interfere in his marriage. These are standard fares here. Right?
Bros,,this issue get as e be oooooo..u need to be very careful,tactical and strategic when trying to talk to her about this because people of such doesn't see anything wrong in such attitude and you trying to correct them can make them think u are a threat to them.
ReplyDeleteI have a brother like that, the wife is so dirty and why I didn't allow her come visit me at ibadan let alone spending a night.
Poster you can advice all you want but the only person that has the ability to deliver her from that stench is her hubby...He should act like the man of the house simple!
ReplyDeleteHow. Does a man act like the husband of the house?
DeleteHe should make a cleaning time table where they both participate, and stick to it. If they can afford it, they can hire cleaners to come every once in a while.
DeleteExactly how Stella said it, seek your brother's permission first then hit the nail on the head.
ReplyDeleteI know of a friend like this in Abuja, I would have thought u are speaking of the same person. Her husband knew she was like that and still married her like that. I went to her family's house and found it was home breed. I think the man loves her like that. Tell her straight, she might resent u but u don tell am. Tell her to get an assistant like a help if she can't clean.
DeleteYour brother SAW the signs and still went ahead to marry her ! I always when it comes to hygiene there are signs ! Overt and covert, if you’re extremely neat and into hygiene , you will notice them but people like to be blind and not see.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately you can’t change a dirty person, nope . It’s inherent . You’re either neat/hygiene conscious or not .
Just reduce your visit there because my skin crawls around dirty things
She go still want her husband to give her head.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha why your mind go that side. This kind person no Sabi Wetin be head or licking plate
Delete@16:48. That is what you think? It may shock you to know wetin she sabi.
DeleteStella, you for no mention toilet o. I feel like throwing up.
ReplyDeleteNa wa. A woman for that matter. Abeg I no fit 🤮
@ Justyswt,Hygiene is not gender specific;
DeleteArrange with your brother to have a cleaning lady come in twice a week once he agrees then he should be the one to tell the wife that he has arranged for someone to come help with the chores
ReplyDeleteThis could work, the cleaner either male of female should come around when she is at home.
DeleteSometimes it is a mental thing. When you touch something to clean they will ask you to leave it and not misplaced their things. My mom was like that when we're growing up I did not understand why our home was so dirty when we were kids and our friends home were clean and organized
DeleteBut it changed when I started living with my aunt who was very clean and organized. My mom traveled to the USA for years so we lived with my aunt all that time. When we came to the USA my mom apartment was a mess and we would clean it up. My dad was very happy with the cleaning habits instilled by our aunt. But my mom will fight us to leave things and not mess it up when we were cleaning 😂. We did not give up. I am now grown and my mom knows my rules about cleaning. I was shocked when I came to my home after work and she clean the whole house. Poster when you visit try to clean that way she will model after you and she will know your intentions are good. But you see this people with bad cleaning habits hate to change. They also love clutter and holding on to items without any value. I was dirty too but I learn from my aunt at a young age so that helps.
Let me fix this for you: your bother is dirty
ReplyDeleteYour brother should clean up his house
😂
DeleteExactly my sentiment anon 15:19. Your brother should clean the house. He should teach her by showing how it's done. Some people grew up in a dirty environment.
DeleteI know of someone whose wife is dirty too. The husband cleans, corrects, quarrels about it, teams up with her to clean etc. Point is, the husband was not just complaining but also teaching her. They are not where they out to be but they are far from how it was before. So poster, tell her husband to also be a hands-on man.
Good one.
DeletePoster how do you know your brother is not turned on my the dirty? I'm not saying that's the case with him but please back off.
Also, do you know that you trying to address this could be perceived as you trying to control her home?
Biko respect yourself and acknowledge boundaries without being told.
Poster, please mind your business, you don’t live with her your brother does, so he is the one to impact the change not you. I beg we need to know our boundaries in people’s homes. If it disturbs you so much then stay in your house. Her husband should be the one to address this and not either of you family members. He needs to grow a pair and stop hiding behind you guys skirts.
ReplyDeleteYou said it all
DeleteThis!!! Poster kindly mind your business oh, stop visiting her house, and if your brother asks why, tell him you can't cope with his wife's untidiness and don't want to o hurt her feeling by brooching the subject with her. Allow him do whatever he wants with that information.
DeleteNo go carry unnecessary beef pleasem
@15:22. Grow a pair of hands right? And clean his house with them.
DeleteNa now our female bvs begin talk. If the chronicle was sent by the husband, it would have been this from beginning.
na wa oh, how can a woman or an adult be this dirty? 🤮🤮🤮
ReplyDeleteYour brother is dirty. He lives in a dirty house. Stop blaming the overworked woman.
ReplyDeleteAbi na😂😂😂😂
DeleteAuntie, sit in your clean house and mind your family business, let your brother and His wife mind theirs.
ReplyDeleteI have a wife like this oo, one of my brother's wife, her own is that she's very lazy and all their house is always in a mess. She's also the "i don't care" type. My brother has also complained and complained. Because of all these, my brother wants to take a second wife. A dirty partner is the worst that can happen to anyone. Discuss it first with your brother, watch his reaction before they use you to settle las las
ReplyDeleteYour brother can’t clean?
DeleteOdi egwu
DeleteTell your bro to get her a maid na
Your brother is planning to take a second wife because he claims his wife is dirty ?
DeleteIs your brother handicapped? Or he can’t employ a cleaner ? Your brother is dirty too
Then the second wife will be even dirtier and then he’ll keep marrying new wives, until he marries a professional cleaner lol
DeletePlease I need to say home cleaning is between the man and the woman until they have grown children, except they are employing someone. House cleaning is hardwork and shouldn't be left for woman alone, my hubby scatters the house and we don't have help yet expect me to clean up everything and I work too. He hardly remove his shoes outside but bring it inside straight to bathroom to ease himself, I will sweep and sweep, most times it's the man that is very dirty and the woman get fed up of cleaning and reminding him, the house remains like that. He should make effort to assist his wife
ReplyDeleteShoe that you wore from work, to bathroom. Bathroom slippers is different ooo, I don't like wearing slippers at home, if I feel cold ,I wear thick socks
DeleteNG he’s supposed to change to home footwear
DeleteIf I were u I’ll mind my business.She should have immediate family members that come around to visit her,her husband too has turned a blind eye to it or he might now be used to the lifestyle of dirtiness,or he himself is a very dirty man,cos if the husband doesn’t condone such dirtiness he knows exactly what to do to make her change.If he doesn’t then he is not ready.I can’t be teaching a full grown adult how to keep her house neat and teach her children about cleanliness,I’ll rather stop visiting you and stay in my house.
ReplyDeleteYour brother has lubed in it for years, knacks her inside, so I guess he's used to it. Remove eye from their house, if your brother is fed up, he knows what to do.
ReplyDeleteFor you to know that your brothers house is that dirty,it means you go there all the time and you say you’re married?Pls stay in your house and allow his brother take care of his home how he deems fit.Thanks
ReplyDeleteStory
DeleteOne visit is enough to know
There’s a level of dirtiness my house can never reach if I’m clean
Poster please advise her to get a cleaner can be coming twice or three times in a week.
ReplyDeleteThis one get as e be...o..Let her husband talk to her or just hire someone to be coming just to clean
ReplyDeletePoster, please, learn to mind your business. You say you are married, well then focus on your home and let your brother deal with his wife. If he is not complaining, who are you to say something. Your brother is not blind. If she is so dirty as you claim then he should be the one to have a talk with her.
ReplyDeleteJust focus on your own home.
It's also your brother's house so your brother is dirty too. Why blame only your sister in law. Advise your brother to clean his house. Nothing concern you and the wife.
ReplyDeleteYou people don't understand that life is spiritual
ReplyDeleteWhen the inner person is dirty, the outer can become so.
If she will fix the inner personality, things will fall in place.
Only Jesus does that.
Poster, honest question. How does it affect you? Is it because she's married to your brother? Well he is an adult. He met her like that. He married her and has been married to her for years like that. That means he is dirty too. No man serious about his hygiene would come close to such a woman, let alone marry and live with her.
ReplyDeletePlease mind your business. You are not ready for wahala so why do u want to poke nose? You see this dirty-dirty habit? It is not something that can be unlearned just like that.
The only thing I can advise you to do if u care so much is to advise your brother on his dirtiness, his dirty house and encourage him to get help. DO NOT MAKE THIS ABOUT HIS WIFE. HE IS AN ADULT AND JUST AS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HYGIENE IN HIS HOME. What he decides to do(whether to force his wife to clean, or to get help, etc) is up to him. Leave the woman alone. You dont live with her. You didnt marry her. Face ur brother & let him, the owner of the problem deal with it.
Not every man knows about the dirty habit of their partner before marriage. Some people do not date so close. Some women knowing their weakness put in all their best to cover it before marriage, etc. So marrying a dirty person does not mean the other person is dirty too. It is in continuing to live with the dirty person that may show the supposed clean person as dirty or not. Some times, the dirty person overwhelms the clean person. And because it is marriage, the clean person is stuck or most take a drastic action.
DeleteIn this case, the options are clear. The husband has to be the cleaner, or he should hire help no matter how that affects the home finance and without caring about his wife opposition to hired help, or las las leave the marriage. Some men who can afford it, go live alone elsewhere from the dirty wife
You just reminded me of my former landlord's young wife.
ReplyDeleteThe woman was so dirty that when she gave birth she wasn't disposing her pads. She always threw her pads under their sitting room chairs and hardly would she even sweep the house.
People who cam to see the new baby always turned back at the door as the odor was so much.
And to think that she is a nurse? Tueh!!
Please talk to her about it. Sometimes, they don't know that they are that dirty and smelly.
Throw pads under sitting room chair? Eweeeee, that one is a pig nau.
DeleteMy neighbours wife puna used to smell like a corpse and was the compound gist. I had to call her aside when her husband travelled and she opened up that she'd bn treating the infection abi na disease since 3 years . I asked about their sex life she said almost everyday ( BVs i nearly fly fence). I got her disposable pants and burnt all her panties, stopped the antibiotics and gave her yoni balls to use (green and brown discharges)! After a week i took her to a fertility clinic and placed her on injections till she healed. Immediately oga came, she refused sex and demanded he tested himself, oga no gree and she got infected again, treated herself and left him
ReplyDeleteAnd people will be blaming her but na Oga be the problem, even Oga sister fit dey insult her too, not knowing na her brother be the cause. Wetin women dey face ehh
Delete😂😂😂😂u nearly fly fence 😂😂so the smell wasn’t disturbing the husband?
DeleteYou say wetin???? 😱😱😱
Delete😱😱😱
Delete18.38 May God bless you for helping her.
DeleteYou really need to talk to her. Cleanliness is next to godliness.
ReplyDeleteI'll advise you to approach her with extra caution and better still ignore that topic totally. These people with hygiene problem take serious offence when correcting them. My own husband has serious personal hygiene problems, the type that can't wipe his bum well (cos he leaves skid marks on his shorts), can't flush the toilet properly, washes his bum with his bare hands, his teeth got plagues, he don't like bathing nor changing clothes etc etc, the guy irritates me to the last bit. I haven't made luv to him in months cos can't stand him. I don't see myself growing old with him, I strongly doubt
ReplyDeleteI had a friend not so close to me anymore, whenever I visited their house I don’t eat,drink water or even use their toilet incase I want to pee.Her little cousins lived with them so the constant smell of urine once u enter the house is terrible,from the door to the chairs,to the rooms are upside down,and they own the building and occupy a 4bedroom flat so it’s not even about space or anything,the day they had an event I went into the kitchen to help my friend with the cooking and I almost fainted.Cockroaches of all sizes both flying and crawling were running out from the pot handles,kettle,cabinet,plate basket,wall geckos were even chasing the cockroaches😓😓😓oh Jesus.I couldn’t even do much cos I was scared.I just told her I’ll prefer to go arrange the chairs downstairs,The sofas were messed up with urine smell,the bathroom door was always open and mosquitoes were flying left,right from there.She wasn’t a very neat person so she didn’t really see anything wrong with all these. I reduced my going there and if at all I go I’ll just stay in her fathers office downstairs,i won’t go upstairs. Then she was blaming the mess on her siblings and little cousins. If u weren’t brought up in a dirty environment u won’t be able to cope and survive in such place.Its only when u are used to such u can be comfortable in such dirtiness.A clean person can influence a dirty person if they stay together,when the corrections,embarrassment and complain is getting too much the dirty person will start learning hygiene and the dirty person can also influence a clean person. So it’s either ur brother is not bothered maybe he is used to it by now.
ReplyDelete"A clean person can influence a dirty person if they stay together,when the corrections,embarrassment and complain is getting too much the dirty person will start learning hygiene..."
DeleteThis is most likely not true especially for a dirty person born and raised in filth or in cases where the clean and dirty persons are married. The clean person is sooner seen as a nag (not an influencer) by the dirty person. In marriage, the dirty person has so many alibis. Work, you saw me like this before you marry me, you nag too much, we had help in my fathers house, etc.
My brother’s wife is like this, her own is that she doesn’t even bath or take care of herself. She can stay for 3 days without bathing not that she doesn’t have the money oo but she’s very lazy. Even to their child has eczema due to poor hygiene . My brother doesn’t live them, he helps to clean their house when he is around. Poster I think you should not talk to your brother’s wife. It’s yours brother that should advice her not you to avoid unnecessary insult and malice
ReplyDeleteI don't laff tire. Majority of these stories are shocking and hilarious. I can't live in such conditions sha.
DeleteShe might be depressed
DeleteWhen they don’t bathe themselves
Take your brother's permission first before you talk to her, but be prepared to meet a negative reaction.
ReplyDeleteThe first comment here is right: if the man decides to end the married tomorrow, you all will insult him. This degree of dirtiness is irritating to be living with day by day.
Would have been surprised if the Female bvs had not pointed at the husband and provided excuses for the woman. It is only husbands' relatives who know what some hsbands see in their marriages.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone is dirty especially as a result of upbringing, there is nothing anyone can do about it. She can't change even if she gets a maid, withing few weeks the maid will align to her behavior. You are the one seeing dirty,, she no dey see anything. I once had a room mate like that. I got tired of cleaning and complaining and parked out. If you check well your inlaw hardly iron her cloths or children's school uniform. Face front. Leave her alone
ReplyDeleteYour brother’s wife attitude is follow come from day one she was not brought up properly, it will be very difficult to correct a grown up woman with children on this issue.
ReplyDeletePoster your brother should continue managing his wife cos people like his wife will never change. Even if you talk to her she will sound find abs pretend to arrange a little abs before you know it is back to square one.
Poster you should talk to your brother and not the wife cause she won't change and might see it as insult.
ReplyDeleteTell him to get a cleaner that comes everyday to clean and arrange the house since madam doesn't want a live in maid. Once the house is clean, na madam know. if she like she nor brush her teeth, e nor concern you so far the house is clean.
The poster needs to mind her business.
ReplyDelete