Hmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
STRANGE REQUEST FROM BOYFRIENDS FATHER
I am dating a guy and I have been to his parents house once and he has also been to my parents house. I am a very shy person and I find it difficult to easily interact with new people. But I discovered that I related well with his parents despite the fact that it's the first time of meeting them plus they are nice people.
I am dating a guy and I have been to his parents house once and he has also been to my parents house. I am a very shy person and I find it difficult to easily interact with new people. But I discovered that I related well with his parents despite the fact that it's the first time of meeting them plus they are nice people.
It's been over 2months I have been there last but they won't stop calling me, asking me when next I am coming. Okay, I finally gave them a date and now the father told me on phone that I should come this weekend because he wants me to cook for him.. I find this really absurd even though he was laughing while saying it. What if it's a joke, and what if he's been serious about it?? Telling me to Cook for you as per what?
HA!!!!......
To cook for him for what? I guess the bonding was too much and what they call 'see finish' entered as well.
What are you even going to visit them for? Does their son need their approval before proposing? If you go and it turns out that it is not a joke, how will handle the situation?
If you decide to cook just this one time, he might ask you to do it again and if you dont, then will cause problems for you with their son.....
Go and visit them but dont cook, tell them your parents told you that it is bad luck to cook for the parents of a man that has not married you...
Stella mama.🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeletePoster please don’t visit them because you would have to cook if you visit them. Simply call and cancel. Another obligation came up. Yes, urgent issue with some training or whatever. And yes, you can come up with a training thingy to upgrade your cert, while you go to YouTube and learn something new. So you won’t be necessarily lying. And don’t agree to another date. If you so love cooking, then wait till you marry your boyfriend before you start cooking for his family. Else… it never ends well. If they love you so much, then they should quickly marry you.
DeleteLol cancel cause of cooking
DeleteYou guys be calming down
Poster, take 16:03's advice
DeleteAll through my dating years, I never cooked in any family house. The only food I cooked was for my fiancee and I after he proposed. Even the family house, it was just once that I visited before marriage. Pls stay away from his parent's house before the mother will ask you to come and wash clothes for her. DON'T GO. DON'T GO THEIR AGAIN. Let them do fast and marry you if they love your presence and even after marriage, limit your visit there. You can persuade your man to go rent a place far from them if he is close to them.
See finish is deadly.
Poster, you better give yourself brain o. Before they will turn you to their cook. While their son will get another girl, and they will still be doing you our wife, our wife upandan.
ReplyDeleteThere are people that like cooking and doesn't see this as a big deal. Him telling you he wants you to cook for him might just be his own way of being friendly and close to you. You dont have to say no, its something you can do as far as its a one off. But you can also decline by not going and only go with the excuse that you wont stay for long or dont go at all. Start to withdraw a lot too before he turn you to his last born he cant away from
ReplyDeleteDon’t not doesn’t pls
DeleteThere ought to be a comma after the word don't, please.
DeleteHRh. Actually, it should be a full stop.
DeleteI think i know where this entitlement is coming from.
ReplyDeleteAfricans,especially Nigerians think they're doing the female a favour letting their sons marry them. So
Because they've approved,The prospective wives and even actual wives become a slave to them.
'He!k,I let you into my humble home,so why won't you do my biddings.'
Poster GO NOWHERE!
Poster don’t listen to these kind of people o.Na them go tell their friends say make them no allow their husbands treat them badly but them be slaves to their own husbands
DeleteGbam!
Delete15:43 You had to go this low just because I spit fact.
Deleteperhaps you're going through one.
I will continue saying the truth with no sugar-coating as long as I live.
Krytiq from the way they’ve been treating her, I don’t think dad meant any harm
DeleteHe may just be trying to get her to feel at home
Pls don't go poster.
DeleteI know some of you girls are desperate for marriage and you may want to go and do eye service, so they can marry you but my dear, if you like, cook for his whole village for 5yrs, if he will not marry you, he won't.
Go and cook, what's the big deal? If this is the 1st, do it with love, if it continues then u can look for an excuse to avoid it.
DeleteMy dear, if u must go, on no account should u go alone, make sure u go with ur boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteThe comment made by the father May just be harmless and could be that they are an overly jovial family, some families are like that but you should also be cautious it may be what u are thinking.
I honestly don’t think u should turn down their invitation but I believe strongly that I should go with ur boyfriend
Eka,Eka!!!! Come and chop kiss jare.u too correct for dis comment.very harmless comment made by d father poster haba,oya follow wat Eka has said.
DeleteLyrix you’re not agreeing with eka
DeleteYou’re saying your own
Eka says it may be harmless
You say it is harmless
Two different things
Poster just go and see what happens. If you don't go you will keep wondering. Whatever happens when you go, handle as best you can. It will actually be an eye opener on the kind of family you are hoping to be a part of and help you make future decisions.
DeleteThat was how my hubby's cousin told me to help him n cook stew. We were travelling for our trad n stopped at his place as per long journey nah. I murdered the stew n the guy gave my hubby a 'wow/yes' sign, I smiled. Go with your guy unless you don't know how to cook. Upgrade your cooking skill before you go shah maka salt'u na ose idi 3-much.
DeleteI feel they like you and want you as their daughter in-law without delay. Who knows this might be the first time your guy is presenting a woman to them or they are tied of his okoso and want him to settle down by force.. Don't call them but answer their call with politeness. Smile and tell them you are busy at the moment and will inform them when you are chanced. Give an impression of a very busy person to avoid see finish.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations if you decide to marry him
Have you taken permission from your boyfriend'? Are you guys talking about marriage?
ReplyDeleteMy dear if they are good people and have welcomed you into their home, there’s nothing wrong in cooking for their dad, Moreso when the son has been good to you and is responsible. No mind anybody telling you not to go. Stella self is in her 20th year in marriage. Better give yourself brain and leave all these wokeness. You can be classy and humble too. Take care!
ReplyDeleteThank you O. Reading other comments I began to feel if I am not ok Abi? I see absolutely nothing wrong. To me, that's the language of love, it has no timetable or curriculum. They are happy people and can't you see that the chemistry is mutual since you said it's not like you to gel so fast will people.
DeleteOk, don't mind me. Tell them you don't like their nonsense and stupid entitlement mentality. What do they take a whole babe like you for?!
#Wife/girlfriend not cook.
Poster, go to their house and cook for them. What if they are not your fiance's parent but just old regular people who just wants you to help them with cooking?
DeleteIf you end up not marrying their son, you could be gaining another family on a long run.
@ms sapphire... Your comments usually give me joy. It's crazy the kind of comments I've been reading here. Na wa o. Now am concerned for the guy abeg.
DeleteDon't visit your boyfriend's /girlfriends house without him/her except in matters of necessity.
ReplyDeleteThe son wanna marry you? Or you both are knack mates for now?
ReplyDeleteLook how ladies are making a simple cook request complex.poster do your mind and be ready for the conscience of your decision be it good or bad.be an adult and decide for yourself.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe comments
DeleteI'm reading, just to go cook,I see nothing wrong in the Man's request, I bet some people performed worse wifely duties before they got married.
I don’t think you should go there and cook
ReplyDeleteI think you should cook something real special from home or even ask your mom or other person who cooks good to help you and take it with you along with drinks and desserts. I don’t really like cooking in a kitchen I’m not used to but bringing food to them, I’ll happily do
This way you get there, serve the food and don’t feel all stressed out like they’re examining you during the cooking
This!!!
DeleteIf you really like them and you think they like you, I don't see anything wrong in visiting them and taking food to them. For me, when I visit people I always like to take them something.
I'm not really sure why you wrote this in as chronicles because people will help you turn this into something it's not. Not everything is fight or a chance to show 'feminism', sometimes just deal with people as people.
Stella 😅😅😅
ReplyDeletePoster are you guys planning marriage? If yes then go with your guy to his parents house but if not,don't bother yourself before you cook and you still collect breakfast later
Omo I see a man that's flirty here. The mother should have been the one to say this not you. But cook as what really? Whe that one start? No go anywhere o! From cooking he will come and touch your waist and run back. Give your sef brain o.
ReplyDeleteTehehehe!!, touch your waste and run back!!
Delete😂😂😂
DeleteTouch waist and run back to where na? You really cracked me up.
A guy I was dating once invited me to their house, as I entered their sitting room, I greeted everyone, his dad ( sick that time) nodded his head. After some minutes, his mom went inside to continue what she was doing, and his sister left for her outing. The guy went to pick a friend he was directing to their house. The man pounced on me with kisses all over my face, my screaming made his wife came rushing , she rescued me that day and beg me to forgive and ignore him. That he is a he goat, a polygamous man sef, that his last child is older than me. I never visited there again, and when opportunity came for me, I ended the relationship and muffoned on.
DeleteClean ya mind pls
DeletePlease detox your mind
DeleteStay positive.Focus on the good
Their son should wife you already and dont start what you cant finish
ReplyDeleteIf you know you are a great cook, go with your boyfriend or inform him about what his father asked of you. If you aren't, jejely sit down for your house oo.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteHis wife or one of his daughters cannot cook for him abi?
ReplyDeleteDon't GO!
They want to test your cooking ability..u can go,if u trusted your cooking skills Okiroyalty
ReplyDeleteI'm not comfortable with that arrangement. Thing is, I don't know if you can handle what may follow like see finish et al. But my questions are:
ReplyDelete1. Has this guy proposed to you? Do his parents know he has proposed?
2. How did he introduce you to his people; fiance? Girlfriend? Ordinary friend? Playmate? How?
3. Are you a good cook? If you are, then maybe your guy has told them. Have you cooked for him before?
4. Are both parents in on the cooking invite? Abi na only the papa?
5. Is guyman aware? How does he feel about it?
If you answered yes to all questions apart from no. 2 then it's okay to go. If not stay for ya papa house. But for number 2, find out (stylishly) what he has been telling his parents about you. It has to be positive for them to be so free with you. Also include the answer to no. 2 when making your decision. Don't form the habit of going to their house to cook. That once should suffice.
If you don't know how to cook well, abeg no go.
Just be careful if you decide to go, and inform your own people about your outing, so they know where you are at the time.
Lol.. Guess he was trying to test your cooking prowess to know if you be 1000yards wife material.. abi what do we call this now
ReplyDeleteFrom cooking you will start starching cloth then empty dustbin th open and close gate. Learn to develop respectful boundaries.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha 🤣 🤣🤣 as in girlfriend o. The guy never even propose to her, they wan start to dey use am do house chores. I have teary eyes from laughing when I read your comment anon 17:28. Imagine the audacity from boyfriend papa. Poster, if you go!!! Don’t listen to all these low self esteem women/people pleaser to the detriment of themselves abeg. Do NOT go! Period!
DeletePoster go visit them with your man. There is nothing wrong in cooking for them if you have the strength.
ReplyDeleteThis time pay attention to details to really know the kind of family they are.
I think they just want you around. It's not really about cooking. Haven't they been eating before you came into their lives?
Go visit with an open mind and then if you don't want to cook, tell them you are not feeling fine.
👏👏
DeleteCook wetin ? With which money ? No try am o ! D family get comma for my eye already sef ! Nothing wey woman no go see cause she wan marry …. Hian 🚶🚶♀️🚶🚶♀️🚶🚶♀️
ReplyDeletePoster, has the guy proposed to you? If no, don't frequent his parents house, e get why. I feel the papa may be joking when he said that. It's a way of saying they would want to have you around. So you go, if the cooking stuff is serious and you know say you no too Sabi cook, feign sickness. In all, please have an open mind
ReplyDeleteGo and cook if they ask you but don't let be often ,these are you mother and father later if not now don't listen to these people asking you don't go or don't cook what is there,have you been cooking for their son ,so what is the big deal ,people are just too mean these days reading meanings into every thing ,are you not cooking for your parent
ReplyDeleteYou can go and visit them pretending you did not hear the part of come and cook for me from his dad. When you visit them just stay like 2 hours and take your leave to avoid come cook .
ReplyDeleteCooking is not a difficult thing to do but let you not finish nysc in their house and not get certificate.
I’m amazed at majority of the comments here, why making a mountain out of a mole hill? The parents obviously like you and want to get to know you better, there’s no big deal to it. It will only be a big deal if you are not serious with their son, in that case, there will be no need starting what you cannot finish.
ReplyDeleteHey Poster! I have had to cook and wash cloth for a random disabled man on my street before. He wasn't my relation, and he is not a father-in-law to be, I just did it out of pity for his state. So, that being said, I do not see anything wrong in this case. He might not even have meant it, he might just be joking with you. If I were you, if I really want to confirm his intention, I will ask him what kind of soup he wants, if he mention it, I could cook it from my house and take it there, but make sure I eat out of the soup with them. If cooking there is more convenient, just do it this once, but don't subscribe to a regular! Carry your guy and your mother-in -law to be along, so you can guage her reaction towards the gesture ooo.
ReplyDeleteYou are wise
DeleteGod bless your kind heart
What you did is completely different from what poster wrote. This is her future inlaw to be so to speak (that’s if guy man propose). She should just talk to her BF abeg
DeleteMummy Stella😅😅😅😅😅😅 funny red pen comment Abeg just try cook even if na once for ur next visit 🤪🤪🤪 nothing go happen to u😊afterwards start de post them whenever they call u again for cooking! Hope say u sabi cook😜😜😜? no go fall ur hands oooo na joke I de Abeg 😀😀😀
ReplyDeleteAfter reading all the comments on this post, all I can remember is ceaser's comments about evil spirits being here..
ReplyDeleteNo need to offer any advice, since you can even send this as a chronicle, then you must be among those 'woke' wives not cook girls.. family that welcomed you well and the man just teased you about something you should be happy to do because of the love you have for their son and his amazing they were to you is what you want to make an issue of..
With these kind of women ehn, I pity men.. I really do,. This is the kind of rubbish they now do and later justify it that marriage are not lasting because they have refused to accept the nonsense their grandmother accepted..
Wisdom is really profitable to direct
Honestly I'm speechless
DeleteWhat do women really want??!
And when the man visits her own parents, he should be welcomed and later asked to pay their last born PTA levy or buy NEPA card if he is coming next time to test his provider ability
DeleteMtschew
22.48
DeleteActuslly...a lot of men face this a lot. You date a girl....she brings her family problem to you even before you start marriage plans
Dante NO. She’s not even engaged to this man. They’re only dating. Why the demand already? This has nothing to do with woke Generation! She just met them once for goodness sake and why is the father demanding her to cook for him? It’s so weird honestly. I completely disagree with you. Poster discuss this with your BF and if he doesn’t have a problem with it, then get ready to do more when you marry him. As in a lot more unless you guys don’t live close by. Very weird something. You better set boundaries now.
DeleteYou go to ur girlfriend's family house for the first time and next thing they start asking u to do things for them. Does that sound normal to you? Does it sound right? Sometimes leave ur hatred for women aside and reason logically. Toxicity will only destroy you at the end and no one else. Your disgust at women will not affect them but only you because you are irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. There are stupid women with stupid sense of reasoning. This is not one of them and you know it. Cast your negative emotions aside
DeleteLol. Good advice @ Ma'am Stella.
ReplyDeleteThere’s absolutely everything wrong in this. As in EVERYTHING. Boyfriend wey never even propose to you!!! And you’ve only met them once, they’re already demanding. You should reevaluate this your relationship o if it’s worth it. And NO, don’t cook for them!!! You’re in your dating stage so you better use your head wisely. As in to cook what exactly?? Peppered goat meat with jollof rice??? Sighhh na wa for some of these African parents with their entitlement mentality!
ReplyDeleteNa only you get sense for this comment section.
DeleteMy own is anytime you are in an enclosed space with a man who is not your blood brother, father or son, MAKE SURE you have something very very sharp to protect you.
The world has gone to the devil, I'm sure you guys are reading of the terrible things that men do to women even women who are on the operating table.
If you like leave yourself vulnerable.
Poster were you laughing yakata and gisting every every with them? See finish don from day 1 imagine. Only 1 day o. Well get ready to cook more meals and add massages and stretching their feet and body after eating each meals. Goodluck.
ReplyDeleteFrom come and cook to come and clean the house. The day you say "no" after you have cooked for them once, you're a bad person, you become a bad person. Learn to set boundaries. Don't start what you cannot finish. I personally find it disrespectful to ask someone to come do house chores as if the person doesn't have things to do. Abi do they think you have time to do your own cooking plus your parents cooking? How would they react if they find out their son is already doing the things he does for them or should be doing for them for your parents when he's still a boyfriend?
ReplyDeleteMany of those claiming here that it's no big deal are lying. They forget the mindset of the older generation which judges a woman based on how she bends for the man's family.
If you know the number of ladies who got married to a man they didn't cook for one day, and the men in question dumped women who were known by his family and who practically did every house chores for the man and his family, you'll be shocked.
One was even taking care of the man's sock parent and the bros impregnated and got married to another woman.
PS: Cooking is an important skill and everyone, both male and female should have it.
What's the big deal jn cooking for him that made you to even bring this here? We women ee we so insatiable, if the parents did welcome you well now wahala, now they welcome you well you're feeling very important. Are you the one cooking for them before? What's wrong with you and this nonsense sense of feeling important, that made you to disturb us this afternoon , may be you don't know how to cook that's why is a biggie for you.
ReplyDeleteStella no disabled my comment oo ma
Quick question. What is the logic behind them asking her to cook for them? You ask if she has been cooking for them before. That's exactly what u should be asking them. Who was cooking for them before? Why should she suddenly leave her parent's house to cook for these ones? After only one visit? A girlfriend? Tomorrow the same you will say "you should have seen the signs" abi?
Delete